Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a very smooth work day today.Nothing negative happened at work today and I again had a talk with the department head regarding the laundry bag problem and he talked with my supervisor about it and I guess that they are working on it as I am saying this.
Despite the smooth day,I was tired.The day was smooth but the weather,which was HAZY,HOT & HUMID like yesterday even on the drive home,really tired me out.Whne I got home.I was really tired from all the heat and humidity that I had to lay down and take it easy for awhile before returning a phone call that a friend made while I was on the way home.I just did not have the energy to make any phone calls due to the scorching summer weather that we have been experiencing in my hometown the past few days.I am hoping for relief very soon.We are suposed to get some rain tomorrow and that is supposed to cool the weather down for the rest of the week.I am hoping that it does because this heat and humidity have been driving me crazy.It does get bothersome and annoying after a while.Again,I am hoping that relief comes soon.
I did step out for a short time tonight.I stopped in at the place where I entertain for a few minutes to see how some of the people were doing.Apparently,it was a slow night tonight but that is to be expected during near mid-week.They did have a pizza party earlier in the evening so I had a few slices while I was there and I left.I went straight home because I do have to get up in the morning for work.
Tomorrow is simply a pick up day.I am hoping that the pick up works well,which means that I am hoping that there is no mess to pick up at the pick up place.I also have my Wednesday night support group meeting at the church and I am hoping that the meeting goes well.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too eventful day today.The reason why the day was not too eventful was because of the weather being HAZY,HOT & HUMID.But I managed to get some stuff done today.I managed to make it to my appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor and the meeting with her went pretty good.After that,I went home to cool off before doing some more shopping.I went to pick up a half gallon of ice cream and I also went to a Burger King in my area for a ICEE cold drink.While there,I saw some young men sitting in some chairs and they were looking at me very unusually.I did not pay any attention to them as I was going to get my straw for my drink.As I was walking past them to get to a seat to enjoy my drink,one of them called me a faggot and the others laughed as he did so.Again,I paid no attention as I was walking past them and they left the restaurant soon after.I just sat down and started to sip my ICEE.When I finished,I disposed of my cup and I talked with an elderly couple before I left.They jokingly asked if it was hot enough for me and I jokingly answered "Yes it is."Again,I did not let what those young men did to me get the better of me.I know that I am not a Gay man.I was only sexually abused in that sense and that is what contributed to me having these SSA desires.I am still determined to overcome these desires and not let them control me or determine who I am.I know that I am NOT Gay and I also know that I,deep down,do not find men sexually attractive.I know what led me to having these desires and as stated,I am not going to let them control me nor will I let them determine who I am or determine my choice in sexual partners.I know that men and women were created to compliment each other and as stated,I am not going to let these SSA desires control me.I am also not going to let name calling determine who I am either.Faggot is simply a negative label and besides,traditionally,faggot is a bunch of twigs tied together,which is something I am not.I am a human being and I am also a man.I am determined to be the man that I want to be and not what the world wants to make me out to be.I know that I am not Gay.I only have the desires and I know that the desires can be changed with the right emotional support.I am still seeking that and I am not giving up.Apparently,those young men wanted to start something with me and they were disappointed that they did not get what they wanted from me.OH WELL!Live and learn.
The rest of the day went by pretty well.After I arrived home,I relaxed for a bit.I finished my personal computer work and I ate dinner.Before the day is through,I don't know what I will do.But I know that it will be something that will get me out in the community and that is what I am striving to do.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty decent day today.I really did not do too much.I simply went for a drive to the North Tonawanda area to check out a Blockbuster Video in the area.I wanted to see if they had any decent DVD films to purchase.I did manage to buy one film.It was better than nothing.I also stopped at a Wendy's in the area and had some chicken nuggets to tie me over until I got home for dinner.On the way back to the city that I live in,I stopped at a classic car show at a park in the area and I saw a rare sight.I saw a 1971 Ford Pinto there.It was in brand new condition and the owner told me that it was all original.I told him that this is rare seeing a Pinto at a classic car show because due to the negative notoriety that they had aquired during that time,there are not too many around.But he assured me that this was the standard 2-door coupe and they alongside the station wagons were not the problem cars but only the three door hatchback's known as the Runabout's.He even told me that there were some for sale online but he does not know if he's going to get them or not.Still,it was great to see a few great cars and seeing the Pinto made the show for me.
Last night,the night was a success.There was a great big crowd there and that was awesome.This was also the first big crowd that I had seen in a long time there because the crowds in Saturday night's past have been pretty small to medium.Still,it was a delight seeing this big crowd and there were people that I had known who came in who I had not seen in quite a while and that was terrific.There were also some people there who were coming back from a wedding and they thought that they would stop in for a bit and have some fun.Some of the wedding guests who came there also sang a few tunes.Again,it was an awesome night and I had a great time singing up a storm.I sometimes wish that I did have that big a crowd most of the time so there are more people to entertain.Though I never let a small to medium amount of people stop me from doing what I love to do,I always wish that at times I had more.The more the merrier,I always say.But I know that a small crowd is better than having no crowd and I still always appreciate that no matter what.
Tomorrow is a day off.I still have some stuff to do.I have an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor and I have to take my mom grocery shopping.But I still get to enjoy the rest of the day when I am finished.I am hoping that everything I have to do goes well.
Thatw as day today,my night last night and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better than yesterday.My stomach is feeling good and I am feeling better about myself.
I have had a very eventful day.I had to run a couple of errands for my mom and I also had my hair cut.The day was also sunny and mild and it was great to get out into the community and soak up a little bit of air.I was just happy to get out and enjoy myself.
I even had a talk with an old friend today and he's doing good.He and his girlfriend went to a rally in the city that I lived.I was too busy doing stuff for the home and myself to go there.But I told him that I hoped that he was having fun there and that he enjoys the rally.He did later call me back and said that the rally was great.
Tonight,I am also also feeling optimistic.I will be going out to entertain my friends tonight at the place where I sing.I am hoping that the night goes well.Though I rarely have an off night,I still hope for things to go well and that the night works out well.You never know what might happen.Again,I am hoping that the night goes well.
Tomorrow is Sunday.I do not know what I will do but I know that it might be fun no matter what.I am hoping that I do find something.If not,I will just hang out at home.
That was my day today,my hoped for night tonight and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty eventful day today.Today was the company picnic.I went to ot and it was okay.It's just the same old same old every year but I had nothing else to do today because it was my day off due to it.So,I went.I had some good stuff to eat and after almost an hour,I went to have some fun in the pool.I only stayed in teh pool for half and hour and after a shower,I went home.I was feeling pretty tired and I wanted to get home.The only stop that I made was to cash my paycheck at the bank and I headed home afterwards.After I got home,I unpacked my swin gear and went to bed to take a nap.I was tired and I needed to get some sleep.I have been losing sleep as of late due to the laundry bags and the nap did me a world of good.I felt a little bit better.But I still had one more obstacle to overcome.
The next difficult obstacle was that I had a hard time trying to go to the bathroom.I was constipated for almost an hour due to taking diarhea medicine yesterday because I had an attack of diarhea.After inserting two hemmorhoidal suppositories,with a few seconds,the waste matter came out and I felt better.Of course,it was still a painful experience that I endured but I now feel better as a result.I guess that I have to be careful in what I do from now on regarding my system.
I am just glad that the weekend is finally here.I am looking forward to singing for my friends tomorrow night.I am hoping that the night tomorrow goes well.I do not know what I am going to do but I know that it will be something special.At least,I hope that it will be.
That was my day and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.The work day,though a little smooth,got off to a rocky start.When I arrived at the pick up point to pick up the laundry,I saw that they still had not resolved the situation regarding the laundry bags.While the mystery of the previous ones has been solved,they still had not gotten around to getting new bags to replace the old ones that are now history.I had to haul the laundry in garbage bags rather than the usual red/pink ones that have been the standard.Not only that,when I arrived at the work site,I nearly came close to blowing up at my supervisor's supervisor because the door to the cellar was locked.I almost came close to being suspended today as a result of the nonsense that has been happening as of late that should not be happening.Fortunately for me,the rest of the work shift went by smoothly and there were no more negativisms.I even had a great lunch with the gang at the social club.During that time,I got a congratulatory compliment from the coordinator of the social club about keeping my temper in check.Of course,as a result of my nearly blowing up at the head of the department,I could not accept that compliment.He did specifically say that it was being around the social club but I still could not accept that because that would be arrogance if I did.
After lunch,I did have a talk with the department head and I explained to him the problem about the missing laundry bags very cool,calm and collectively.The talk was only for about three minutes and he assured me that he would look into it the minute that he talked to my supervisor when she returned from her vacation.I am just hoping that there will be a good resolution regarding this problem and we can move on with life.After this is resolved,I am hoping that something like this does not happen ever again.It was a drag having this happen and I am hoping that I do not have to face consecutive frustration like this for a long time.This should not have happened to begin with.
Tomorow,I am having a day off for a change because the company picnic is happening.I am going to be driving myself down there so I can leave on my own accord when I want to.I am hoping that the picnic goes well and that it is fun.
After tomorrow,it's the weekend and I am hoping that it goes good.
That was my day today,my hoped for day tomorrow and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Happy 4th of July Everybody.I hope that everyone had a great holiday.
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too exciting day today.Since there was a cancellation in an activity that I was planning to attend today,I simply stayed home most of the day and I watched a movie.I watched An American Haunting.It was based on an actual legend from Red River Tennesee called the Bell Witch.It was actually pretty good.I had been meaning to watch this movie for a long time since I purchased it months ago.The film was superbly acted and well written and directed.There was a lot of scary things in this with some nods to The Exorcist but only based on actual events.But again,it was pretty good and I highly recommend it for anybody who prefers something different for a change rather than the same old same old horror stuff.Again, a very good flick.
Though I was disappointed about the cancellation,it was a relief because it did rain for much of the day and the weather was pretty cool.The disappointment was relieved by watching the film and taking it easy.Earlier this evening,I went into another city in the area that I lived to watch a fireworks display and it was pretty good to see.After the whole thing was over,I ran pretty fast because I wanted to get out of the area before all the other people did.That way,I could avoid the jam.I got home safe and sound and I am now taking it easy in preparation for the next day,where I will be returning to work.I will be glad to work again because as stated,the holiday for me was not too eventful and was kind of boring due to the rainy weather for much of the day.But the movie I watched today relieved much of the boredom.
Tomorrow is a work day.After a holiday,the inevitability of returning to work follows.But that is life and it's unavoidable.But I am hoping that the shift goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay but a little disappointed.I had some high hopes for the 4th tomorrow but the plans that my group had were cancelled.Something had suddenly came up and the moderator of my group called me to let me know that plans had changed.I did feel disappointed that I now have nothing to do on the 4th as usual.Since this has happened,I am going to be staying home as usual and watch a movie.It is what I always do on a holiday like this.I will have the day off tomorrow and I am just going to take it easy and again,watch a movie.I have tons of movies on DVD to watch.Though disappointed,I am now relieved that I do not have to go out of town.Again,I am going to enjoy my day off and take it easy.
The work day went by pretty well.The mystery of the missing laundry bags has not been solved as of yet and the people at the center are going to look into getting new bags so there will be some to put dirty laundry in.But again,the work day went by pretty well and that was good.I did manage to arrive home tired but I still had to do some stuff before I could relax.I had to buy something for dinner tonight because my mom was in no mood to cook anything.She did do my laundry today and that was good.I now have some extra underwear to wear during the week.It is not that I am low on it.I still have plenty but I am greatful that my mom did it.You never know.
As for the rest of this evening,I do not have anything planned.I might go out for a short spell and say hello to some of my friends at the place where I sing.I will just hang out for a few minutes and then go home.I just might watch a movie before I go to sleep tonight.I do not know what I will watch but I will know when I look at the movies that I have and see what is there.
Tomorrow is a day off due to it being a holiday.Again,since I will have nothing to do as usual,I am going to stay home,take it easy and watch a movie.It's better than nothing.It is also better then being bored to death.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too eventful day today.I had to go to the bank today to withdraw some money for my mom and I had to do some grocery shopping.I had to pick up a few things for the home and that was it.After dinner,I had to pick up a few things more.I also went to a Blockbuster video in my area and bought a few more previously viewed DVD's.I have been really stocking up on these since they started this buy 2 get 2 free sale.Again,I guess that they are overstocked on these DVD's and they are trying to get rid of them while they can.I have been getting some pretty good stuff and it has been making my DVD library grow even more.I have a wide variety of movies to choose from for my viewing pleasure.I still have some that I need to catch up on first and I can do that over a succession of Friday nights.I will be watching another on Friday night.I do not know what it it will be but I know that it will be something good,that's for sure.
Last night,I went out.I did stop at the cafe while I was out.Though I meant to be out for only a short time,I wound up staying until closing.Because I got pressured to doing a couple of songs and I really was not in the mood for that.I had done my entertaining the crowd on Saturday night and I simply wanted to take a breather from doing so.But again,public demand,though it was pretty small,got the better of me.Still,I had a good time and I did do a couple of good stuff.I also did it because there was a guy there who played in his own band and he really wanted to hear me.Again,it was a pretty good night despite the fact that it was brief.But I needed to get out because I felt lonely and I needed someone to talk to.It was really a bore sitting around the house and doing nothing.I had some laughs with the few guys that were there and the only lady there was the bartender.It was still great to get out and have a few laughs.I enjoyed myself and that was good.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day,my night last night and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too eventful day today.I simply ran a couple of errands for my mom and I had a quick lunch of pepperoni pizza while I was out.I really did not do too much afterwards.I just took a drive around town and simply enjoyed myself.I really did not see much of anybody I knew out so I went home and relaxed for a bit until I ate.
Earlier this evening,I had a talk with a friend from New Jersey and he is doing good.I am glad that I,at least,hear from one person who is very concerned with me.It seems that nobody else is concerned with me nor is interested.Aside from that one guy who said that he wanted to patch things up with me and has not returned one call from me for quite a while,I have been having a tough time establishing relationships with other guys.I have given my phone number to quite a bit of guys that I know and I have yet to hear from them.It seems that nobody is interested in talking to me or even interested iun letting me hang out with them.I need to have relationships with other guys in order to overcome these dreaded SSA thoughts and feelings.It seems that I am all alone in this and I have no way of trying to get out.I know the root causes of these feelings and thoughts but I am having a hard time trying to initiate something.Again,I have given my phone number to quite a few guys that I know but I have not heard from any of them,especially that aforementioned guy who always uses the same excuses like "I'm Too Busy" or even "I've Been Extraordinarily Busy.That Is Why I Have Not Done So."Why?I don't think that anybody is that busy not to return one phone call or to talk to for at least a few minutes.Is that too much to ask for?Is a few minutes of time too much to ask for?This is pathetic.I have never heard this thing about a guy being too busy to talk to someone for a few minutes nor have I heard that a person is too busy to return one phone call.I am seeing more and more each day that people care more about making more money or even materialistic goals than they do about what really is important like relationships with other people or family.I feel that relationships with others and family should be top priority and money and materialism a very distant second.Money and materialistic things can disappear as quickly as they come and if you have NO relationships with others,what good is having materialism and money dominating you as a top thing?What if you lose all of that and have nobody to lean on when it happens?Pretty scary,Huh?
Aside from that,last night I sang up a storm at the place that I entertain and it was a grand success.I had a blast.Everybody enjoyed my songs and that was great.It did make me forget about the frustrating day I had on Friday regarding the missing laundry bags.I am hoping that the mystery is solved soon.I would hate it if I had to use red bio-hazard bags to load everything again.Again,I am hoping that the mystery is solved soon.
Tomorrow is my day off.I do not know what I am going to do but I am hoping that it will be special.
That was my night last night,my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty busy day today.I had to run a couple of errands for my mother today.We were running low on food.I had to go grocery shopping today to stock up on some stuff for the next couple of days,including today.Before I did that,I stopped to say Hello to a friend and to see how he's doing.He told me that he was doing good.He also showed me that his picture was in the paper.He was at a Joan Osborne outdoor concert and I immediately caught him in the picture where the crowd was gathering.I also stopped there to show him a couple of DVD's that I bought at a Blockbuster Video store in my neck of the woods.After that,I went to do the grocery shopping.On the way home,it drippled a little.This was unexpected because there was no rain in the forecast today.It was supposed to be sunny and mild but a little bit of rain did come down.It only lasted about 20 minutes.
After I got home,I bathed and shaved.I also ate my dinner,which was a frozen TV dinner.
I am now at home relaxing.I am getting ready to entertain the crowd tonight.I am hoping that the night goes well.I rarely have an off night but I still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.But again,I am hoping for things to go well.
That was my day today and my hoped for night tonight.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.I had a pretty frustrating start to my work shift today.When I got to the pick up place to pick up the laundry,I had a tough time trying to pack the laundry in because the majority of the bags were missing.There was only one bag filled with dirty laundry and the rest of the load was all over the place.I had a pretty difficult time trying to find the missing bags.I and the rest of the staff of the pick up place,which is a drug-alcohol rehabilitation center,tried to find the missing bags but we were unsuccessful.The thing was that time was becoming a factor because I had to get to the work site to start my job and I knew that I could not waste time looking for missing bags.This was also insane because on Thursday afternoon after lunch,I dropped off two bags of clean laundry and the bags were also clean.The staff was also baffled as to what happened to the bags.But they are hoping that they can resolve this mystery/problem when the weekend is over.I am hoping that they can find at least two bags to use to put the laundry in so I have nothing to worry about.I hope that this situation can be resolved by Monday or even Tuesday.If not,I do not know what I am going to do nor the staff.
The work shift went smoothly with no negative situations.But it did not remove my frustrations that started my day.I am hoping that the weekend wil help bring my mood down.Tomorrow night is the night that I entertain the crowd and I am hoping that a successful night will help relieve me of some of the stress of the frustration that happened today.
Despite my emotional state tonight,I am still glad that the weekend is finally here.I am looking forward to tomorrow night when I will be singing up a storm and really getting some satisfaction for doing a good job in my singing.If the night is successful and the rest of the weekend goes well,I will feel a little bit better.
Again,I hope that the mystery into what happened to those bags is solved by the start of the new week.I would hate it if they had to order/purchase new bags to use for the purposes of loading the dirty laundry into them.I know that this possibly can not be avoided and if it has to be done then it has to be done.But still,I am hoping that the mystery is solved soon.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a very smooth work shift today.Nothing negative happened today on the job nor when I left for home.I simply did my job and went home.Since I now have the afternoons off on Thursday and mornings off on Friday,I am now going to use the extra time to work on my issues,mainly emotional.I have to try and work on my sanity.I have been on the verge of losing it lately and I do want to work on keeping my cool.As stated last night,I do not want to lose my temper and I do want to keep my cool because I do not want to get in trouble again.After the trouble that I got into last year,which led me to undergo anger management counseling by order of my supervisor's supervisor in order to keep my job.Since,according to my counseling,I have been making progress,I do not want to blow my wad(so to speak)and risk getting into trouble.If I am making progress as they counselors have been saying,I want to continue progressing and doing good.Yes I do.I don't want to make mistakes that could ruin me as far as my job goes.I want to keep my job and I want to keep working.I don't want to make any terrible mistakes.I want to keep doing good and continue striving towards my goals.
After dinner and when the weather cooled,I went out because I had a whole bunch of empty bottles and cans in the trunk of my car.I wanted to turn them in so when my mother needs to do her grocery shopping,there will be plenty of room in the trunk for the grocery bags to be placed in there.I had a good sum of money from turning in those bottles.After I am done here,I am going to register the bills at Where's George.When I got done,I went to a Dairy Queen in my area and bought an ice cream sandwich.I am now at home relaxing and getting ready to turn in for the night.I had a very eventful day.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the day goes smoothly.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.The pick-up went well today.I did not have any messes to clean up at the pick up point today and that was great.After I dropped off and sorted out the laundry,I made a couple of stops on the way home.I visited a friend of mine who I do not talk to very much.We had a very good conversation today as we talked about a lot of things,mostly about a couple of documentary films that I picked up on DVD about a week ago.I have not watched them as of yet but I plan to.I have a few movies that I have not watched as of yet but I plan on watching them every Friday night until I am caught up.I have just been so busy as of late that I have not been able to really watch anything.I did manage to see a movie in the last two weeks and I enjoyed that.But again,I need to catch up on some movies that I have been meaning to watch but have not had the chance.I am going to watch another movie on Friday night before I go to sleep.
Today,weatherwise,the weather was "HAZY,HOT & HUMID!"The temps were in the low 90's again.Tonight,we are supposed to get a thunderstorm and afterwards,some cooler temps stating Thursday.
My meeting with my sexual abuse support counselor went great.I talked with her a lot of what has happened over the past two weeks.I told her the problem about my attempts to reach this certain guy that I have been meaning to patch things up with for quite a while.I also pointed out that I understood why he possibly has not been returning my calls.She understood how I felt but she did point out that if I am not careful,I could lose my temper again before I know it.She also told me that I have been letting my frustrations pile up on top of each other and I am already on the verge of exploding in a rage if I keep this up.The only advice she gave me is to simply let it go for now.She also advised me that if I do call him again,simply tell him to "call me whenever he can and when he gets a chance." I said okay and that was it.Again,she said afterwards,simply move on and let it go for now and to continue exercising patience regarding this.She also said that if he is truly serious about wanting to fix things,he will call me at an opportune time when he does have the time.I am still going to try but I will let it go if I do choose to call him again.
She made me realize that this is why I am saying angry things to myself.I have been doing that as of late and I now realize why I have been doing so lately.I am going to take her advice and I will let it go.The ball is now in his court.I am also going to continue exercising patience regarding this.I do not want to lose my temper again.I have been doing pretty good regarding this and I do not want to do so.Because I could ruin myself if I do this time.That is a chance that I am not willing to take.
My support group meeting tonight at the church went great.It was great to finally let go of all the emotional baggage that I had.It was also great to hear what the other men in the group had to say as well.I also shared with them what I shared with my sexual abuse support counselor today as well.Again,it was a great meeting and I am looking forward to the 4th of July when we are going to get together at a park out in the country.I am hoping that this is a fun thing.I can hardly wait.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty smooth work day today.Since it was smooth,the day went by pretty fast with nothing negative to write about.I also had some pretty interesting conversations with some of my colleagues while having lunch.Again,a pretty smooth work day.It was a little bit easier now that I have a four door car to help with the laundry loads.It makes hauling the laundry back and forth a little bit easier.I am glad to have this.It is wonderful to have a little something to make the days go by easier.
The weather for most of the day was very HAZY,HOT & HUMID.It was in the lower 90's for most of the day.Fortunately,I had air conditioning where I work and it was cooler inside.But when I got outside,it was HOT.Right now,it has cooled down somewhat but it still feels warm.We are supposed to get rain tomorrow and then the temps are supposed to cool down a little starting Thursday.A little rain is better than nothing and I do hope that it does get a little cooler.
Tomorrow is simply a pick up day.All I have to do is pick up the laundry and sort it out at the work place.I do have a couple more things on my agenda tomorrow.I have an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor in the afternoon.Tomorrow evening,I have my support group meeting at the church.I am hoping that both of these go well.The meeting have been going well with me but I still hope for things to go well.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling very good.I had a very good day today.I finally have my new car on the road and that is the best thing to happen all day.I drove it around for most of the day.I had to get the feel of it.I also celebrated by getting a cassette adaptor for my portable CD player.It was great to listen to some CD's in my new car and that was awesome.I also bought the car to make my work a little easier.Now,my work is a little easier.I now have plenty of room for all the laundry bags and that is something.
Today,weather wise,was sunny,hazy,hot and humid.The fans were going on all day where I am living.It was a chore trying to keep the house cool.But I think that we did good.I was just enjoying the weather and enjoying my new car.It was a great day today.I had a blast and I was really enjoying life today.I know that I will be enjoying my life a little more now.But still,I have to take life one day at a time and always keep a straight face.I also have to continue keeping on guard because you never know what might happen.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.It was a not too exciting day today.I simply took a drive around town today.It was a nice sunny day today so I felt that a nice cruise around the town was appropriate.Much of the day,I took a trip around the town and stopping at video stores to see if there was anything new to buy in the previously viewed DVD sections.I really did not find anything too interesting nor did I have any real money with me to buy anything anyway,but I did get a chance to look around and it was great.I did see some things but not enough to arouse my interests.Before I did that,I simply went to pick up a few slices of pepperoni pizza as a late lunch.Again,not too exciting but I did get out for some air and I did have a pretty decent time even though the day was not too exciting.
Last night,my entertaining of the crowd was very successful.The crowd enjoyed everything I did and I even had some laughs with a few guys at the bar.I had a wonderful time and I the crowd enjoyed me.There were not too many people there last night because of a carnival that was in town at one of the local churches.I figured that most of the people were there and did not feel like coming to the place where I sing.Thanks goodness that this happens only once a year and that the people will come back next week,which is usually the case.Still,I had a great time and the crowd,though it was small,enjoyed me.A small crowd is better than no crowd.
Tomorrow is my day off.I am hoping to finally get my new car on the road.I have been putting it off for far too long.Again,I hope that I can get it on the road.
That was day today,my night last night and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a not too exciting day today.I did not do too much today.I only ran a few errands for my mom and that was it.The weather was nice and sunny today and the atmosphere was mild.It was not too humid today.To put it mildly,it was just right.
The errands that I ran for my mother were to get stuff for dinner.I had to go to three different places today to get everything.But I did accomplish everything that I set out to do.That gives me a feeling of accomplishment.Yes it does.I feel very good that I accomplished something.
After I ate a great dinner,I decided to do a little bit more personal PC work.I am now at home relaxing.The weather is still a bit cool.I am saving my energy for tonight.
Tonight,I am going to be entertaining the crowd as I always do.I am looking forward to that.I am hoping that the evening goes well for me.Though I rarely,if ever,have an off night,I still hope for things to go well.As stated before,you never know what might happen.Again,I hope that things go well.
For the rest of the weekend,I am going to simply take it easy.I have to be prepared for the work week ahead.I am hoping that the week goes by good.
That was my day today and my hoped for night tonight.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.The work shift went by as smoothly as it should and that made me feel good.After I dropped the clean laundry off,I simply went home and dropped off some stuff that I needed to drop off.After that,I went to the bank to cash my paycheck and I went back home.After dinner,I did some more personal PC work and after doing so,I did a virus scan on my PC and again,no viruses or spyware were found.That was great.It shows that my anti-virus and firewall programs are working great.Still,I do a scan on my computer once a week to be on the safe side.You never know what might happen or what might be on your computer.Again,there was nothing on my computer to cause me any worries.
I have just gotten back from a walk and I do feel better.It was the first walk that I have taken in a long time.It was also pretty long.But again,I do feel better.It was great to finally get out and stretch my legs for a bit and feel a little bit better.
Though I did have a pretty good day.I did start out this morning feeling a little at edge.I started mumbling angry things to myself once again.I do not know why I do that but again,it just happened.I have not done this in a long time.I do not why it happened.It just did.I am hoping that I can stop this.I do not want to be enslaved to anger for the rest of my life nor do I want it to overwhelm me.If anybody can help with any advice,please do so.Thanks.
I am just glad that the weekend is finally here.Tomorrow night,I am going to be singing for the crowd again.I am hoping that the night goes well.I always look forward to entertaining the crowd every Saturday night.Again,I am hoping that the night goes well.
That was my day today and my for day and night tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty smooth work shift today.I am now working only mornings on Thursday's and I now use the spare time to work on my issues.I do have quite a few issues that I need to work out and resolve.I am still working on keeping my anger under control and my temper in check.My counselors are always telling me that I am doing a great job but I always have a hard time receiving compliments.I am used to always getting emasculated and insulted.I always used to people not giving me compliments.I know that it is something that I need to work on.I am willing to do that work.I need to start appreciating other's compliments of me.I really do not know how I am going to do that.I need some advice.I also have a hard time giving myself compliments when I do good.If I am making progress,that is good.But I still need to keep working on my anger problems no matter how much progress I have made.Again,I am willing to do the work regarding compliments receptions and giving them to myself.If anybody out there can offer advice,I would appreciate that.Thanks.
By the way,before I forget,the movie Vacancy was pretty good.I really enjoyed it.I can hardly wait for it to come to DVD.The DVD is supposed to have deleted scenes and other surprises.Again,I can hardly wait for the DVD to come out.I did manage to add a few more DVD's to my library.One of them is a Neil Young concert movie.I am looking forward to watching that.
I am working tomorrow.I will be on the afternoon shift.I am hoping that the shift goes smoothly.So far,nothing negative to talk about regarding work but I still hope for things to go well.After that,it's the weekend.I can hardly wait for that.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.The pick up I made this morning was very clean with nothing to pick up off the floor.I simply picked up the bags and when I got to the workplace,I weighed them,sorted them out and left.Before I did,I went over to my mechanic's garage in hopes of getting my new car on the road.But my mechanic advised me to hold off on doing that until he thoroughly checked it over.He also advised me to check back with him tomorrow afternoon and get the whole story from him.I simply said okay and went off to do the pick up.While I was downtown,I had a light lunch and I picked up a can of soup for dinner.
I went to my support group meeting at the church tonight and it was yet another meeting.It was great once again to let go of some more emotional baggage and air out some more of what was on my mind.It was wonderful to have the men listen to you and also to listen to them air out what was on thier minds.Again,the meeting was wonderful.I am feeling so much a part of them.It seems like only yesterday where we hardly knew each other and now,we are having some great talks and really feeling a positive atmosphere each and everytime.I am looking forward to the next meeting.I am hoping that the next is as wonderful as the last one.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.I also hope that the day goes well,too.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay yet again.I had a pretty smooth work day today.I did my job and the rest took care of itself.After I dropped off the laundry,I went home to relax and while I did,we had a torrential rainstorm where I am living.The rain really came down and it was also thundering and lightning everywhere.I stayed home for much of this because I had really nothing to do.I was going to return some bottles for a refund but thought that I would wait until the rain stopped before doing so.Now that it has,I am going to return them and get the money from them.I know that it is not going to be much but it will make my vehicle cleaner.I still have to get rid of a mess that is currently in the one that I drive and I will get around to it.I just hope that there will be no more rain.I mean,we needed this rain but that is enough for now.
Tomorrow is simply a pick-up day.That will be easy.I am hoping that tomorrow,I can finally get that new car of mine on the road.I have been putting it off for quite some time and now,I am hoping to finally get it on the road tomorrow.That would be great.I can hardly wait to start driving it.It will be a relief to finally be driving something different and a lot more familiar with.Again,I can hardly wait.
I have been feeling pretty fluxed as of late.I have been trying and wanting to patch things up with this one guy but nothing really much has happened.I try calling him but all I get is his answering machine saying that he "will get back to you".But so far,I have left messages,left notes at his door but still,I have not heard from him.I am wondering if I am doing anything wrong.He says to me "Don't Be A Stranger" but he is being a stranger to me.Don't any of you hate it when somebody tells you not to be a stranger but they're being a stranger to you.I am still holding on to the hope that one day,I will hear from him.No matter how long it will take.I am going to keep trying.I am also thinking that maybe I will start new elsewhere.
Tomorrow is also a meeting night.I am hoping that the meeting goes well.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.It was a very nice day today despite the humidity.The sun was shining and I got to go out and do a lot.I paid a visit to a friend of mine in town and I even managed to have a light lunch,though it was a little late because it was too close to dinner.But I wanted to have something in my system before dinner.Again,it was a very nice day.
I also managed to have a talk with another friend today and he is doing good.When he answered the phone,he informed me that he had just gotten back from Pennsylvania and that he had a nice trip.He even invited me out tomorrow night but I do not know if I am going to go out tomorrow night becuase Wednesday is a day that I have to get up and do a pick up.I guess that I will just have to cross that bridge when i come to it.If I do,I will stay a few minutes.If not,then I will do it when I can.
After a light dinner,I finished my personal computer work and I watched a little TV.I even visited some people that I knew in my neighborhood and they were doing good.Though I did not do an awful lot today,I did get out to do quite a bit of stuff and I did have a pretty good day.I guess that it's better than nothing.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too exciting of a day.I ran a couple of errands today and I had a short but pretty good talk with my father.The conversation was not too long but it was,as stated,pretty good.The weather today was pretty nice and warm but there was a little bit of humidity.Again,not too exciting of a day but I did get a couple of things done.
Last night,my entertaining of the crowd went over very well.I reaquaited myself with a few songs that I had done previously and I even tried out a new song that I had never done before.Again,it was a wonderful night and I had a blast.It is great to entertain such an appreciative crowd.I had a great time and that was great.
But my attempts to leave the place were almost hampered when I was walking to my vehicle and somebody tried to stop me because there was somebody,a borderline diabetic lady,urinating in the back lot on the grass.I had to plead with the person that I was not going to pay attention to that.But they insisted on holding me for a while until that lady was finished.It almost became an argument but eventually,she let me pass and as true to my word,I did not pay any attention as I left but the lady who was supposed to be urinating was not even doing that because the person who brought her there did not have any toilet tissue of any kind.But I left and went straight home.Though I did have a blast entertaining the crowd,I really did not like being stopped from going home.I am not a pervert.I do not peep on anybody unless I have permission to do that.I am not a peeper.I know that it is wrong to invade another's privacy and I do respect other's privacy,especially when it is a lady.But I did not let it get to me.I left and I made it home.
I am only posting this now because I am going to see a movie later.I am going to see Vacancy at a local bargain movie theatre in my area.I have been waiting for that movie to come to that theatre for quite a while and I am going to see it tonight.I am hoping that the movie is good.I have heard some mixed reviews of it but I need to see it for myself.Again,I am hoping that it's good.
Tomorrow is a day off.But I hope that it is a good day.
That was my day today,my night last night and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay,hopeful and optimistic.It was a typical Saturday for me.I woke up,had breakfast and did my personal computer work.Nothing really negative to write about,it was just typical personal stuff.But I got it done and after that,I closed the internet off for a while and ran an errand for my mom.Just typical Saturday stuff.But I got them done and that gave me a feeling of accomplishment.
After I ran the errands,I stopped at the drug store that my niece worked at and she gave me the money that she owed me.I really did not expect to see her there but at least,I got the money and after buying a couple of things,I left for home.
When I got home,I bathed before eating so I could get cleaned up for tonight.I ate a pretty good dinner and checked some more e-mail.I did not get too much this evening.I also checked up on a couple of online groups that I am a moderator of and there was nothing negative happening in either of them,which made me feel good.
I am now relaxing at home and I am getting ready to entertain tonight.I am looking forward to doing that because I always enjoy what I do and I always know that the crowd enjoys it as well.As always,I am hoping that the evening goes well.Though I rarely,if ever,have an off night,I always hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.Again,I am getting ready to do that and I am hoping that the night goes over well.
That was my day today and my hoped for night tonight.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a bit better.I had a pretty smooth work shift today.After having a pretty good lunch,I started my work shift.It went by pretty well.I simply did my job today and after dropping off the laundry that was clean,I went home.After I dropped some stuff off,I went to the bank to cash my paycheck and to make a small deposit into my checking account to remove some overdrawn funds in it.I am hoping that I do not have to make any more deposits until the direct deposit of my disability check next month.I am just going to be checking my account daily to see if I am still in the black.I hate being overdrawn even if it's only a few dollars.At least,my bills were paid before that.I can now take it easy for now.
I am feeling a bit better than I have in the past few days.I am still battling the SSA demon because I am still at edge over what has happened the past few days.I am feeling more downs than ups.But I am hoping that I can get over this in time.I really hate having SSA.But I am stillin the battle to change that about myself.I am accepting that life will have it's ups and downs but lately,the downs have really been dominating me and it has made my SSA skyrocket.But now,the SSA is gradually going down.I still have to take all of this one day at a time and get through little by little each day.I can never think of never being sexually attracted to men forever.I look at terms of relieving myself of this emotional condition one day at a time.Again,as stated previously,I am not going to let these desires,which are,again,emotional in nature and represent unmet needs that are NOT sexual in nature but are,as stated already,emotional and only represent the drive to be accepted as A MAN and to fulfill myself with relating and identifying with my fellow men on a normal,level and healthy plain and simply just being one of the guys and feeling like one of the guys.Again,I have to take this in terms of one day at a time and handle the desires as they come.The only thing that I have to learn is how to cope with the desires the right way rather than the old false coping mechanisms that I am used to using.I feel that I am learning little by little how to do that but I still need to learn new ways of coping.If anybody out there can help,I will be glad to read some suggestions that any of you might have.
Tomorrow is the weekend.I am looking forward to that.I will be singing up a storm tomorrow night and I am hoping that the night goes well.
That was my day today and my hoped for night tomorrow night.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.It was a pretty good day today.The work shift went by smoothly.I simply did my job and the rest took care of itself.I also had a pretty good lunch.I even had some nice conversations with a few people at work and that was good.
After I came home,I went out again to do a couple of things for my mom.I also went to pay my car insurance bill today and it is now paid for this month.I had to pay this because it was due today and it is now paid to avoid late fees.Afterwards,I took it easy at home and I had a very good dinner.I also went for a drive.The reason why I did was because I am thinking of trying a sexual addicts support group at another church in another area.I heard about it through someone who goes to my Wednesday night meetings at the church in another area.The only difference is that this group at the Catholic church is non-spiritually based.The Wednesday night Baptist church ones are spiritually based.Again,I have been thinking of trying this because I do struggle with sexual addiction.I have been looking into attending a sexual addiction support group for quite a while and now that I have heard about this,I am thinking about giving it a try.My addiction at the moment is masturbation.But in the past,my addictions were simply performing oral sex on other males.Though I have not performed any sexual activity,oral or otherwise,with any man in quite a while,I still have fleeting thoughts surrounding this area and this has been contributing to my problems with masturbation.My emotional state due to my niece not complying with the verbal agreement that we made regarding the car insurance at the moment and that one issue with that friend who has said that he wants to patch things up with me but he's not returning my phone calls has made my SSA sky-rocket as of late and I feel that I need extra support regarding this.As I have previously stated,I do not want to act out on my desires because that will not give me the fulfillment that I am seeking or looking for.Nor will it give me the satisfaction that I truly need to feel like A MAN among men.Plus,I made a commitment to change my orientation and not reaffirm the Homosexual/Gay identity that I am trying to get rid of.Performing anything sexual,including oral sex,on a man will only reaffirm this identity that I do not want nor do I want to be affiliated with because I am trying to show that I am stronger than my desires and that they do not control me.I know that I did masturbate yesterday but I have been forgiven for that and I am moving on.Deep down,I do not believe in Homosexuality and I know that deep down,I do not find men sexually attractive.I was sexually abused by other males while I was groing up and this has really made it rough because the sexual abuse that I endured,including the rape episode that I endured when I was 16,really confused me and made me think that I was Gay,which I am not.I do not want to even be labeled this because in reality,there is no such thing as such.It is only the desires and the condition,which is emotional in nature and not sexual.But I know that deep down,I am not that at all,nor do I believe in having sexual relations with other men.I believe in the law that was set forth by the creator and that is man and woman.Again,I have to let my desires know that I control them.It is not them that control me.It is going to be tough but I am determined to do that.If I have to attend another group,than I have to.Again,I am thinking of giving this group a try in the near future.It if works out,great.If not,then it was worth a try.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.After that,it's the weekend.I am looking forward to that.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a wonderful meeting tonight at the church.The meetings are always wonderful.It is always great to get a lot of emotional baggage off of my chest.After the relapse I had today,I really needed that lift.
Earlier this afternoon,when I was home alone and my mom was at the beauty parlor,I was in such an emotional tirade over what has been happening to me this week,I wound up masturbating.My emotional state for much of the day was not very good.My niece giving me a hard time regarding the money that she owes for the insurance this month and my wanting to patch things up with somebody that is not even getting off of the ground by his lack of returning phone calls to me when I leave them on his answering machine.Still,I am holding on to the hope that it will get off of the ground soon enough.But my relapse really made me feel down but after I said a little prayer to ask for forgiveness and even forgave myself,I felt better.Still,the guilt did hang on to me for a while afterwards.But over the course of the day,I felt better.The meeting tonight was wonderful and it really made feel better.It is great that I found out about this group and to finally belong and be a part of a group is very rewarding and reassuring.I am looking forward to my next meeting next Wednesday night.
Tonight,when I got home,I got some rather distressing news.My little grandniece is sick.She has strep throat and scarlet fever.My niece had to pay some money because she does not have any medical insurance with her in between jobs at the moment.But my niece has already assured me that she will pay me back on Friday and that everything will work out.I am just hoping that my little grandniece gets better soon.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes smoothly.I am also going to be paying the car insurance tomorrow so I can keep it current.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.It was a very good day today.I had a very smooth work day today.The day went by pretty fast.I simply did my job and the rest took care of itself.After dropping off the clean laundry,I simply went home.I took it easy for a while at home because it was a very hot and humid day today.I had to go to the laundromat today to do my dirty underwear.Since it was hot and humid,I waited for the weather to cool for a while before leaving to do so.Before I went to the laundromat,I went to Sears to pick up some extra underwear because I did not have enough undershirts and socks to go along with the underpants that I had.So,I bought those to make it even.
The time at the laundromat was very positive.I talked with a few people and the conversations were nice.After my laundry was done,I bagged it and went home.
I am now at home relaxing.I am anticipating tomorrow because I have to do a pick-up in the morning.I also have an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor in the afternoon and I have my weekly support group meeting at the church tomorrow night.I am hoping that both of these meetings go well.Again,I am anticipating tomorrow and I am hoping that everything works out for the best for me.
Thatw as my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too eventful day today.I simply ran a few errands for my mom today.The day was also pretty sunny and bright today alongside being humid.But I just went about my business today and let nothing get between what I had to do.I simply went about the day.
I have been under a lot of stress as of late.The stress has been coming from my niece's uncooperation with a verbal agreement that we made late last year.My neice is currently on my insurance so she can drive her mini van to get here kids to school and to get back and forth to work.She agreed to give me her half of the money a week before the due date but she has not been cooperating.I have explained this to her but apparently,I don't think that what I am trying to get through is doing any good.She always says that she agrees but she always pays late.I always keep making sacrifices that I feel that I should not have to make in order to keep paying the insurance on time so I will not get in bad with my company.This has been going on for a long time and no matter what I say to her,it seems to fall on deaf ears.I understand that she has three kids and that she always has to think of them firsthand.But a verbal agreement is a verbal agreement.At least,that is the way I feel about it.I just hope that I do not have to make any more of these because I feel that I am really going to go crazy if I have to do that again.I am going to pay the bill tomorrow and I am hoping that this will not be a problem in the long run.I am just hoping that the rest of the week goes well.
Whenever my stress level goes up,my SSA skyrockets.I am trying to heal from unwanted SSA attractions but this is making them worse.Whenever my SSA skyrockets,I crave acting out sexually with other men and I do not want to do that.Deep down,it's what I want to do because it is all I have ever known but I am trying to leave the Gay sexual subculture behind and on the surface,it is not what I want to do.I truly believe that sexual relations between two men is unnatural and I do not want to go back there.I know the minute that I have sexual relations with one man,I want to have sexual relations with another man and so on until I am right back where I was before I started my healing from unwanted SSA.I don't want to indulge in this stuff because I do not believe in it nor do I think is the right way for a man to be or do.I am determined to heal and I am determined to be the Heterosexual man that I want to be as well as the man that I have always wanted to be.I want REAL male friends who I can confide in and trust and have the healthy relationships that every guy needs in order to be and even feel like a REAL man.I do not want to think of men as potential sexual partners nor do I want to think of them as anything having to do with that.I truly and way deep down believe that Homosexual sexual behavior is wrong and unnatural and it is not a healthy alternative to Heterosexuality.Again,I am determined to be a Heterosexual man and I am determined to overcome SSA at all costs.I am just hoping that the rest of the week goes by smoothly and that I do not have to make unneccessary sacrifices just to keep up with life.I am trying to save up money,not spend more.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.I could use a smooth work day and I could also use a smooth week.If the rest of the week goes by smoothly,that will be good.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I was out of the house for most of the day.I ran a few errands for my mom.I had to pick up a couple of her prescriptions at the drug store.I also had lunch,which was my usual pepperroni pizza.I also manged to look around a few stores to look for IPOD players and compare prices.They are pretty expensive but they will get lower priced in the next few years.What I am interested in most is finding a CD recorder.I would like to transfer a few out of print LP's that I have onto CD.That way,I can preserve the vinyl records and keep them looking good.I am going to keep looking until I find one.I know that I have to save up for one but it will be well worth it.I would like to have some of my favorite records on CD because some of what I have in my vinyl collection are rare and hard to find and I want to keep the vinyl in good to great condition.I am a collector of rare records and again,I want to make sure that I keep my collection in good to near mint shape.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd was another big success.I really wowed them with the new songs that I tried out.The two new songs that I tried out were by Jethro Tull.The audience really showed their appreciation to me for what I did.It was another successful night for me and I am looking forward to the next time.I am hoping that the next night is as successful as last night.I really enjoy what I do.It is always a pleasure to entertain a crowd who always enjoys what I do.
Today,I did have a fun time out.I did not buy anything but I still had a wonderful time out.It was just great to get out and simply be out in the community getting some air and exercise.Yes,I enjoyed myself today.
Tomorrow is my day off.I have nothing planned but I know that something will come up.
That was my day today,my night last night and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling hopeful and optimistic.It was a very good day today.After I picked up a DVD set that I borrowed to a friend from his place,I went to have light lunch and picked up a couple of things for my mom.The day was a beautiful sunny day and it was less humid.I had a pretty good day.I also took my mom grocery shopping so she could stock up for the month.After we got home,I bathed and we had dinner.Overall,a very good day.
I am now relaxing at home.I am getting ready to entertain the crowd tonight.I am feeling pretty good as I am anticipating this.The nights are always super and I always have a blast entertaining the crowd.I am hoping that the night goes well.Though I rarely,if ever,have an off night,I still hope for things to go well.It is a habit of mine to hope because you never know what might happen.But still,I rarely have an off night.But again,I still hope for things to go well.But I feel that the night is going to be another big success and everything will work out fine.Though I do have that feeling,I still hope that things go well for me tonight.
That was mny day today and my hoped for night tonight.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a very smooth work day today.The day just went by pretty fast.I did my duties and after that,I headed for home.Before that,I had to make a few stops along the way.I stopped at a store to pick a few things for diner and I also went to the bank to cash my paycheck.The day,weatherwise, was very hot hazy and humid.But I did not let it get me down.I was just glad to get home and when I got home,we had a very bad thunderstorm that only lasted for mostly an hour.Again,I did not let the weather dampen my spirits.I worked to stay upbeat and whatever I did,it worked.
I am now at home relaxing.For most of the evening,I simply watched a movie while a virus scan was being done on my computer.I watched the original Alien movie from 1979.It was part of a special limited edition 3 DVD pack that I bought at Target on Sunday after I did my laundry.This was the first time that I had watched this movie.I had already seen Aliens and Alien 3.Alien was actually pretty good.The whole movie took place on a spaceship.It all starts when one of the crew members gets an alien creature clutched onto his face and afther that,all hell breaks loose on board the ship.The DVD also had deleted scenes and trailers.Overall,it was a good movie and well worth the wait all these years.I did manage to read the novelization of the film in junior high school years ago but the movie was better than the book.I enjoyed it and I highly recommend the film to anyone who is interested.
The weekend is finally here.I am going to be entertaining the crowd tomorow night at the place where I do so.I am looking forward to that because I really enjoy what I do.It is always a blast getting to use my talents and having people enjoy me.Again,I am looking forward to that.I am hoping that the evening goes well.
By the way,the virus scan was negative.No viruses or spyware was on my computer.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.It was a pretty good day today.I had a very smooth work shift today and that was great.I had the afternoon off,which will be what I will have from now on.I look at this extra free time to work on my issues and to continue working on keeping my emotions,including anger,under control and in check.I guess that this could be something that the creator in Heaven wants for me.Still,I am going to miss working Thursday afternoons.I am just going to have to fill it with some constructive activity.I do not know what that will be but I will figure it out eventually.Right now,I am just going to have to think about it for now and see what I can come up with.Until then,I'll just take it easy for now.
Today was also a hot,humid day.I was sweating pretty much but when I got home,I stayed there until the weather cooled down.After that,I went to run an errand for my mom and had me a Dilly Bar at a Dairy Queen in my area.A pretty good day.It was nice and I was glad to get a lot accomplished.Again,I am just going to take it easy until I figure on how I am going to fill my time with the extra free time that I will now have.I know that I will think of something.
Tomorrow is yet another work day and I am hoping that the day goes as smoothly as today.After that,it's the weekend.
Last night,the Anaheim Mighty Ducks became Stanley Cup champions.I was glad to see them win the cup.Don't get me wrong,I am still a Sabres fan and they are still my team.But since the Ottawa Senators eliminated the Sabres from the playoffs,I was hoping that the Mighty Ducks would win the cup.The hopes came through and now,I am happy.I look at this as revenge for the Senators eliminating the Sabres.Now,I look at it as revenge set and met.I can now forget that the Senators eliminated the Sabres from the playoffs.But again,as previously stated,I am still proud of my team for their accomplishments this season.They won the President's Trophy for having the best record in the league this season and they got pretty far in the playoffs.They did put a solid team effort in everything that they did this season and for that,I am still as proud as I am for them.I am hoping that the Sabres can do better next season.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.The pick-up day for me went by pretty well.There was no mess to pick up at the pick-up place and that was great.After dropping it off,I went for a little drive around the city.I had a few errands to run and I figured that I would get them done right away.I had to pick up a few things for myself and for my mom.Afterwards,I went to do my personal computer work.Everything was going good for a while until I ran into some trouble.A friend of mine from the UK sent me a hello message via MSN messenger but in the middle of the conversation,I tried to access a movie theatre website for showtimes and was inundated with pop-ups.I had a hard time getting rid of those and the MSN messenger thing disappeared during all this insanity.I even tried to get back to doing my personal work but the internet explorer was not cooperating.I tried to access my personal e-mail box but it was not responding.I had to close off the internet and restart the computer so I could get it going the right away again.Afterwards,I finished my work and had dinner.There were no problems after that and I managed to get my work done.
Tonight,I had a wonderful meeting with my support group at the church.It was great to get rid of a lot of emotional baggage that I was carrying around for the past few days.It was great that they were listening and that made me feel appreciated.It is great that I found out about this group.It was a wonderful meeting and I am looking forward to the next meeting.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty smooth work day today.Nothing really negative to write about and the day went by pretty fast.I just did my job and that gave me a sense of accomplishment.The day was a bit cooler today with a little tad of rain.We were supposed to get a downpour but that bypassed.Again,I had a pretty smooth day today.
When I got home today,my mom was watching my grand nieces and grand nephew.There was not really a lot of quiet this afternoon.But I winged it and around 6:30 this evening,my niece came and picked them up.
Right now,it is very quiet and I am relaxing.I really like it this way.I can now relax and rest my mind.I also had to do some running around today after I ate.I went to get some gas in my tank and I also had to get a quart of motor oil because I found that I was a quart low.After that,I went home and I stayed there for the rest of evening.
Tomorrow is a pick up day.After that,I am taking my mom to the beauty parlor so she can get her hair done.I will have the house all to myself for a short time.It will be great to be on my own for a while so I can relax my thoughts and prepare for my support group meeting at the church tomorrow night.I am eagerly awaiting the meeting tomorrow night.It will be great to talk with the guys again.I am hoping that the meeting goes well.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day off today.I mostly helped out my mom today.I took her to buy a new coffee maker.While she was busy checking them out,I went to do some shopping for her.She needed a few things for herself and I went to a supermarket that was not too far away from the department store where she was looking for a new coffee maker.After doing that,I picked my mom and we went home.
Before I helped her out,I managed to help my neighbor do some pruning.She wanted to trim some branches off of a tree and I helped her out.It only took a few minutes.
I am at home at the moment.I am relaxing and taking it easy.I am getting prepared for the work week.Tomorrow is the start of the work week for me and I am hoping that the day goes by pretty well.I am also hoping that there is no mess to clean at the spot where I have to pick-up.I always hate it when there is a mess to pick up.The people there can actually pick up after themselves and there is no need to just throw the dirty laundry just about anywhere.Again,I am hoping that it goes by smoothly the whole day.
The best thing to happen is that I finally got my Buffalo Sabres medallions.I ordered them back in mid-May and I got them today in the mail.They are truly neat.I am glad to have these because I am a fan of one of the greatest teams in the world.The Buffalo Sabres are truly that and then some.Again,I am glad to have these.
Tomorrow,it is going to be raining pretty much.According to the National Weather Service,it will be a heavy downpour that will last much of the day.It is a good thing because we do need rain after some of the heat and humidity that we have been having.It has been pretty hot,hazy and humid.But now,we are supposed to have a cool down starting tomorrow with rain.I am glad for that much welcome break from the heat and humidity from the past few days.
Thatw as my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.It was a fairly decent day today.I got a lot accomplished today and that contributes to why I am feeling the way that I feel.
I had to go the laundromat today to do my dirty underwear.My mom's washer is still under the weather and I had to do it at the laundromat once again.Still,I got it done and I now have clean underwear to get me through the week.While waiting for it,I enjoyed a pepperoni pizza lunch at the laundromat.After that was done,I made a couple of stops on the way home.I stoped at a Target store in my area and picked up the Alien 3 pack that they had.It was only available through them and there was a clearance sale on them.I figured that I would pick it up while I could before they were gone.After that,I went to a supermarket on the same plaza to pick up some ice cream.While waiting to cash it out,I ran into an inconsiderate lady who had the nerve to actually ring up two seperate orders at same manual cash out register.There were several other people waiting alongside me and this inconsiderate lady was ringing up two seperate orders.She finished one order and then started ringing up more after that.I was really mad that I was waiting with only item and she was just slowly and deliberately taking up so much time to do just one order on two seperate intervals on the same manual register.I complained and when she was finally finished,I sighed and said "It's about time!"Than that lady griped by saying "There's Something Wrong With You!You Need Help!"I answered by saying that she was the one that needed help because she was being inconsiderate.She just gave me a dirty look and took off.I rang up my ice cream,paid for it and left.Before leaving,I brought it up with a customer service manager and she said that these things do happen at times and that she understood how I felt and there was nothing wrong with that.I went home shortly afterwards.
Last night,I had a blast singing.I did three songs from The Beatles album Sargeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band to commemorate the 40th anniversary of the release of the album by singing a few songs from it.Again,the night was a success and I had a great time.I look forward to the next week to entertain the crowd and I am hoping that the night goes as well as this one.
Tomorrow is a day off as usual.I will be helping out my mom again.She wants to get a new coffee maker because our old one conked out.We have been using an old stand-by for a while and my mom would like to store the old stand-by again because she doesn't want it to break down.I am hoping that the whole day goes well.
That was my day today,my night last night and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling hopeful and optimistic.It was a very good day for me.The weather might have been hot hazy and humid but I managed to get a lot done.I went to do some personal shopping for myself and I managed to get everything that I needed.I now have plenty to last me throughout this month.That gives me a feeling of accomplishment and that makes feel pretty good.I am glad to have gotten everything that I needed to get done and that was great.I now have a good month of supplies to last me through.
Tonight,I am going to be singing for the crowds.I do not know what I will be doing tonight but I know that it will be special.I am also hoping for everything to go well.I rarely,if ever,have an off night singing but I still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.But again,I always hope for things to go well.Usually they do,but you never know.
I also had to run one more errand before checking into here tonight.I had to pick up a submarine sandwich for dinner.It was great to have a fresh submarine sandwich instead of one that sits around waiting to be bought.It was very good.I enjoyed it.My mom and I shared it by splitting it in half.Again,it was really good.
Tomorrow,I am going back to the laundromat to do more of my dirty underwear.Just one of those things that you have to do before the new week begins.You always got to have clean underwear.
That was my day today and my hoped for night tonight.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay yet again.I had a pretty smooth work shift and I was glad to get my job done and await the weekend.I am just glad that the month of May is over with.May was a terrible month for me moneywise.My bank account was overdrawn twice last month so I had to make two deposits to remove the overdrawn funds.After that,my account stayed in the black for the rest of the month.I really had to hold onto money last month because I had to pay cash consisitently for my regular fill ups on gasoline.I can not believe that gas has jumped to over $3.00 per gallon.It is insane.I have never paid that much for a gallon of gas.I will be glad to get my new car on the road soon.I am already feeling the pain at the pump by constantly filling up my compact 4X4 vehicle everytime that I turn around.Again,I will be glad to get my new car on the road and start saving on gas.It will be great to do that.It will also be great to driving a very economical car for a change.
As stated above,the work day was pretty smooth.After I left work,I had to do a few things for my mom before coming home.I also had to cash some checks for her and myself.I also had to pay a bill at my bank as well.But I am glad to get that out of the way.I can now take it easy for the rest of the evening.I also bought a couple of DVD's for myself.
When I got home,I did some more personal computer work and went back out to get some dinner for me and my mom.Nothing special,just some specials at Taco Bell.But it was pretty good.The dinner was filling and we both enoyed it.
Tonight,the reason why I am posting this early is because I am going to a birthday party.A friend invited me to his house for a small party and I will be going.It is great that I am going to be visiting with him for a while.It will be great to talk with him face to face again.I am looking forward to this tonight.
Tomorrow is the weekend.I am going to be doing my usual singing for the crowd tomorrow night.I do not know what I will do but I know that it will be special.I am looking forward to that.I am hoping that it all goes well.Though I rarely have an off night,I still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.
That was my day today and my hoped for day & night tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty smooth work day today.I learned today that my hours are once again being cut.You see,the recently hired new trainee is going to be taking over Thursday afternoons.I wil still be workingthe mornings but the afternoons are going to the trainee.It is sad but I guess that the trainee needs to get a litle bit more in so he can better prepare himself for the world of work on the outside.It is sad that I am losing a couple of hours but I guess that is how life is.Life has it's ups and downs.Oh well!I am still going to be working a full day on Tuesday and I will be working mornings on Thursday and afternoons on Friday.I am still going to be doing pick-ups 4 days a week.Still,what I got is better than nothing.I am still with a job and it is better than being unemployed.I am still glad that I am still working and it will still keep me busy.
Today was a very hot and humid day.I had to do some stuff before going home today after work.I had to drop off a screen at a hardware store in my area to get fixed.I also had a doctor's appointment today but I was waiting for 45 minutes to see him.My appointment time was 3:45 p.m. and I waited until 4:30 p.m. to see the doctor.I talked to the doctor about my life and how my job was going and that was it.I got my prescription and I dropped it off at the drug store.Before that,I had to mail out something for my mom.But due to the time that I had to wait to see the doctor,I almost did not make it to the post office.I just made it with only 10 minutes to spare and I got out what I had to get out.After that,I went home.
I am now at home taking it easy.I also have a lot to do tomorrow.I have to go to the bank after work to cash my paycheck and to withdrawl some money for my mom and myself.It is the first of the month and it is also payday.I also have to buy some take-out food for dinner tomorrow for me and my mother.I am also hoping that my work shift goes well tomorrow afternoon.After that,it's the weekend and I am looking forward to that.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a wonderful day today.Today was simply a pick-up day and that went as well as expected.No mess to clean up and everything went good.On the way home,I stopped and bought a meatball submarine for lunch and it was great.I enjoyed it.After lunch,I went and finished off my personal computer work and that gave me a feeling of accomplishment.For dinner,I simply had a bowl of hot tomato soup with a garlic flavored muffin.That was great.The day went by pretty well and made me feel a bit better.
Tonight,I went to my support group meeting at the church and that was wonderful.I simply shared what I had to get off of my chest.It was simply everything that happened to me during the last few days and it was great to get rid of all that emotional baggage.I feel much better at the moment.On the way home from the meeting,I had my window down with music blaring from my vehicle's CD player.It was wonderful to have the music blaring and have the window down.After I left the meeting,I had a smile on my face that would not leave.I guess that since the day went by smoothly,it gave me a wonderful feeling of satisfaction.That can not be bought at a store nad that is what makes that feeling even better.
I am now at home taking it easy.It is a wonderful semi-cool evening outside and i am hoping for a good nights rest.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a bit better than I have been over the past couple of days.Nothing negative to write about happened and that is pretty good.The work day went by prety smoothly and that also made me feel a bit better.I am looking forward to my support group metting tomorrow night at the church so I can blow off a little more steam.It is great to do that.It is also even greater to have men listening rather than ignoring you.I am looking forward to tomorrow night's meeting.I hope that the meeting goes well.
Today,after coming home from work,I took my mom to the bank that currently holds her checking account so she could straighten out a computer error.While she was going about her business,I decided to take a look around a few of the stores that were in the area.There was really nothing new to see at thoe stores but the walk did me good.After I returned to my vehicle,my mom was in there waiting for me and we headed for home.After that,I did my personal computer work,had dinner and took it easy.I even went for a drive to get some gas and a little bit of ice cream.I was in the mood for some of that and it was great to get out.The big difference is that I did not have to deal with inconsiderate drivers this time around and that also made me feel a bit better.I am glad that nothing negative happened today that was worth writing about.
Tomorrow is simply a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick-up works out well.As stated,I also have a support group meeting tomorrow night at the church.Again,I am hoping that the meeting goes well.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Happy Memorial Day Everybody.
Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.The day started out pretty good.I had a wonderful afternoon taking it easy at home and enjoying the day.My mom was laying down and I was watching a movie for the vast majority of the afternoon.I watched Zombie Honeymoon this afternoon and I enjoyed it.It was about a young couple who have just gotten married and decide to spend their honeymoon in a beach house on the Jersey shore.When they are on the beach soaking up the sun,a zombie emerges dressed in a rubber wet suit and attacks the man.He does not bite him but he vomits on him.Afterwards,he starts turning into a bloodthirsty and flesh hungry zombie who starts attacking people who live in the area and eating them.But he tries to control his appetite by not hurting his wife but soon she has to choose whether to live with this or put him to death.I am not going to ruin it for all of you but I do recommend the movie for any horror film fan who wants something different for a change instead of the same old same old type of stuff.It is a combination zombie film and romantic comedy.It is a fun movie.Again,I highly recommend it for any scary movie lover who would like something different for a change regarding horror films.
This late afternoon after dinner,I went out for some ice cream at an ice cream parlor.I enjoyed the ice cream that I had and I had a wonderful time out.But the wonderful time out turned pretty dreadful when I was on the road in a rural part of the area that I live.On that road,an inconsiderate driver tried to play a game of chicken with me by trying to cross the line in the opposite lane but I dodged off the road and he went back into that lane and actually gave me the middle finger while driving off.A minute later,I was at a traffic light and when the light turned green,I proceeded to go straight but another inconsiderate driver,who was turning left,actually had the nerve to proceed with his left turn while I was going straight and had the right of way.I beeped my horn but he also gave me the middle finger.I hate it when inconsiderate drivers break the law and there are no police officers in the area to pull them over because they are in the wrong and give them the appropriate discipline when they do indeed break the driving laws.It is a shame but I still hate it when that happens.I am hoping that when teh new officials are elected this year,that the increase the police patrols in many areas by hiring more officers or bringing the laid off ones back to work.When there is little police protection,chaos becomes the order of the day whereas order disappears altogether and people think that they can do whatever they want providing they don't get caught.That has got to STOP.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes smoothly.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.The day started out pretty good but it soon went downhill.
After waking up this morning and I had breakfast,I decided to go for a little drive around town and get a few pepperoni pizza slices.After that,I took a drive out to a shopping mall and took a walk around.I learned via a guy who ran a sports card and memoriabilia shop that the legendary French Connection line-up from the 1970's were coming to the shop in late August.I immediately went home to get some money so I could buy a ticket for the occasion.I always manage to go anywhere that the French Connection line goes so I can get their autographs and talk to them.For those unfamiliar with who the French Connection are,I will share.The French Connection were a trio of hockey players who played for the Buffalo Sabres in the 1970's.The line-up consisted of Rick Martin,Rene Robert(pronounced Robear)and Gilbert Perreault(pronounced jillbear pearou)and they were famous for scoring a lot of goals and keepuing the defenders of the opposing teams hands full whenever they played the Sabres in Buffalo.I will be going there in late August to get their autographs and get my pictures taken with them.I am looking forward to that day.It will be in the next two months but it is well worth the wait.I can hardly wait for that.
The thing that happened that made the rest of the day go downhill was when a lady picked a fight with me.The whole thing started when I got out of my vehicle to check and see if my vehicle was not blocking any driveways because it is against the law to block a driveway.While walking to a sidewalk,I dropped a pen on the street accidently and bent over to pick it up.When I got to the sidewalk,the lady accused me of trying to steal something from the trunk of her family's car,which I responded by saying that I did not,which was the truth.She accused me of being a liar and continued pointing that finger of hers by insisting that I did,which I didn't.An argument ensued with her calling me a "Nutcase" and then her young son shouted that if I did not stop arguing with his mother,he would bite my nose off.I repeatedly pleaded my case but she continued shouting at me until her husband came out and approached and asked "What's The Problem?"I told her husband the whole story of her accusing me of trying to steal something out of the trunk of their car and I even assured him that I was not.Plus,during that ordeal,one of the neighborhood kids got involved,which was none of his business to do so,and told me to knock it off.I told him to mind his own business but he continued to butt in.Even his mother advised him not to get involved and to mind his own business but he ignored her.After that,the lady's husband said "Okay,Knock It Off!This Whole Thing Is Over & Done With!He Said He Did Not Do That!The Case Is Closed!"After which,they all got into their car and drove off.Even a couple of my neighbors said that I did not attempt to take anything out of their trunk and that further affirmed that I was telling her the truth.Though I was glad that it was over,I still frustrated that the emotional strain that I suffered from that I wound up masturbating.I have not masturbated in a while and the frustrating feeling that I suffered wound up making me feel emotionally drained and still upset that made me give into the temptation to masturbate.I did feel lousy afterwards and it made feel repentant of giving into that and even the angry disposition that I had being accused of something that I did not do,which insulted my personal integrity as a human being.I am just hoping that the new week is a good one.After what happened this afternoon,I am going to need a good week to forget all about this stuff.
Tomorrow is the Memorial Day holiday.I am just going to stay home and take it easy for the day to prepare for the rest of the week regarding my job.Again,I am hoping that the rest of the week goes well.I am going to need a good week to help me get over the negative stuff had happened today.
That was my day today and my hoped for week that is coming up.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling hopeful,good and optimistic.I had the house all to myself this afternoon.My mom went to my grand niece's birthday party this afternoon and I decided to spend the afternoon on my own at home while my mom was over there.It was nice and quiet having the house all to myself for a while.I just needed some peace and quiet to myself and I figured that this was a perfect opportunity.I actually enjoyed it.
While my mom was over at my niece's house,I watched a movie on my VCR/DVD combo while I was having dinner.My dinner was simply two hot dogs and a heaping bowl of low sodium tomato soup.It was great.I simply ate it while I was watching the movie.It was a neat horror film called Motor Home Massacre.I enjoyed it.It was about a bunch of college aged kids getting lost in the woods after they "borrow" the motor home of somebody's parents.When they get there,the usual events ensue.The ending really surprised me.But it was worth watching.I had a ball being here alone at home today.My mom had told me that she had a wonderful time and she bought home some cupcakes.Overall,it was a wonderful afternoon.I am looking forward to the next time that I have this opportunity.I like having some time to myself.
Tonight,I am going out to sing up a storm for my friends and I am hoping that the evening goes well.Though I rarely,if ever,have an off night,I always still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.But I always hope for it and I feel that there is nothing wrong with that.I sometimes think the more you hope.The better that you feel,or something like that.But I am looking forward to the night tonight as I always do.Becuase you never know what might happen.But again,I rarely have any problems regarding my entertaining people on a Saturday night.
That was my day today and my hoped for night tonight.

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty smooth working day today.Nothing much happened.I just did my job and the rest took care of itself.The only thing was that it was a very HOT and HUMID day today.It has now cooled down somewhat but it was a very hazy day today.The heat did make it hard but I was just glad to get home after the work day today.I relaxed for most of the afternoon after I got home.After I ate dinner,I caught up on some personal computer work that I had been meaning to catch up on.After doing so,I went to the laundromat to do my underwear.My mother's washer started leaking a week ago as she was doing laundry and at the moment,we have no washer.While I was at the laundromat,I did a scan on my computer and there were no viruses or spyware on it.I got a lot accomplished today.I now have clean underwear to last me a while and that is great.The work week,despite one frustrating thing that happened this week,went by better than expected.I am glad that it did.Because when you get through something without a lot of frustration,it gives you a feeling of accomplishment and it makes you look forward to the next week.It also makes you better appreciate the weekend when it comes.
I am glad that the weekend is here.I am looking forward to singing tomorrow night for the crowd.Then again,I always look forward to singing and entertaining the crowd on Saturday night.I love what I do.It is fun and it always makes me feel good when the crowd is always satisfied.It makes me look forward to entertaining the crowd even more.I can hardly wait for that tomorrow night.
This weekend is the Memorial Day weekend.It is a very special weekend where we honor war veterans past and present.We also honor those who served in the US Armed Forces.Those brave men who fought for our freedom really deserve the honor.It also makes us realize that freedom truly ain't FREE.It comes with a price.Those brave men paid a big price for our freedom.
I am hoping that Saturday night goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my hoped for day and night tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.I had a pretty hard day today.The work day went by pretty smoothly but I had to haul four heavy bags full of laundry from the basement to the upstairs where I had to load the laundry into my vehicle to drop it off at the drug and alcohol rehabilitation center.The staff there reported that they were low on fitted sheets and that if I had seen any in any of the loads that I had picked up in the past few days,please make sure that I had them delivered by this afternoon.I did find quite a few and I did those so they would have them in their stock as needed.They did show their appreciation by thanking me,which made me feel a little bit good.On the way home,I had to stop and get gas at a gas station.I also had to mail out something that I had to mail out right away.Not only that,the hot humid weather was also a contributor to why I was feeling the way I was.It just brought me a more tired feeling.But again,I was glad to have gotten something accomplished.
But it was not that way when I got home.My mom asked me if I could borrow her more money.I mean,I loaned her some this month and no matter how many times I try to get through to her about my cash situation,it seems to do me no good.I sometimes wish that I did not have to do these things.I know that if I live at home,I do have to do something extra when I least expect it.But this is ridiculous.May has not been a good month for me money wise.I am happy that the last week is coming and I can put this month behind me and forget about all this stuff that has happened.I mean this month,I had to make two deposits in my checking account when I wound being overdrawn twice.But right now,I only have a little bit of money to keep my account open when the next direct deposit comes in on June 1st.I am hoping that June is a better month for me money wise.I can't hardly want for this month to end.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.It was a pretty decent day today despite a minor frustration that had happened earlier in the day.When I arrived at the pick up spot to pick up the laundry,the laundry room was in a big mess.I had to search for empty laundry bags today and I succeeded in finding them.I put the remaining laundry that was all over the place and bagged it.When I arrived at the work site,I dropped it off after weighing it and sorting it out.I left to go home.On the way,I stopped at a small restaurant and had lunch.I even stopped by my mechanic's garage to see if he had started the car as of yet but he didn't.He said that the the part had not come as of yet and he is hoping that it would arrive today so he could start tomorrow.I am hoping to get it on the road by next month.I am anxious to get it going so I can drive it.I would love to start driving it pretty soon.I have been eagerly awaiting this for quite a while.I am hoping that he does start it soon.
I had a wonderful meeting with my sexual abuse support counselor.It was great to get off all the excess emotional baggage that I had been carrying around for a couple of weeks.I did tell her about the experience that I had two weeks ago and I also told her that nothing had happened.She was glad to know that nothing happened and that the stuff that I was scared of did not become a reality.But still,the fear was there because an experience did happen when an inconsiderate guy at one time grabbed me without permission and he was thrown out after he done so.That experience was why I was scared of what happened two weeks ago.But I have put that behind me and I am moving on.
I had a wonderful meeting tonight with my support group at the church.It was great to get some emotional baggage off of me in the group as well.These meetings have been helping me with a lot of what heas been going on in my life by giving me an understanding attitude and listening to every word I say.That is great.I am looking forward to the next meeting.I hope that the next meeting goes as well as this one.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the day goes smoothly for me.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.