Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.While running another errand for my mom,I decided to go on a trip to different stores to see if I could obtain any High Bias Recordable Audio cassette's.I did not much of them in the stores that I looked but I will check Radio Shack tomorrow afternoon to see if they have some.I am not going to give up.I know that I will find some.If I have to look online,I will.I need then because I am thinking of getting a CD recorder so I can make my own CD's of some of the albums that I have that are not available on CD as of yet.Again,I am going to check the local Radio Shack's tomorrow afternoon and see if I can find them there.
Aside from that,I had a wonderful night of entertaining the crowd at the place where I sing last night.It was a great night.I got a lot of good positive reenforcements from the public and it was awesome.I am looking forward to next Saturday night and I am hoping that it is as just a wonderful as last night.
I also had a talk with a friend of mine from New Jersey and he is doing good.It was great to talk with him.I always have a great conversation with him whenever he calls.It was good to hear from him.
For the rest of the night,I really do not know what I will do.I might go out and have a friendly drink with a few of the guys.After that,I might just go home and take it easy or maybe go to bed to get up early in the morning tomorrow.I know that I will be attending that support group meeting tomorrow night centered around anger management and conflict resolution.I am hoping that it goes well enought so I can attend every meeting every week.Again,I am hoping that it goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty not too exciting day today.After I was awakened by the thump of a heavy box onto my foot this morning,I had to get up and straighten out soem of the boxes that had some of my 45 r.p.m. records in them.Nothing broke and that was good plus I did not get too hurt when the box hit my foot.But I felt that I had to do something to prevent this from happening again.I had to get rid of an old compact stereo that I had and donated it to the local Salvation Army thrift shop.
After dropping that off,I went over to a friends house to check up on him but he wasn't home.I left to do some grocery shopping for my mom.Before that,I stopped at a Wendy's near the supermarket and ordered a JR.Bacon Cheeseburger with extra pickles but I got a JR Cheeseburger Deluxe with fries that I did not order.They did give me a few bacon slices by request to compensate for this.I only wanted a sandwich to tie me over until dinner but I got more than I bargained for as well as my money's worth.Fortunately,it did not fill me up enough so I couldn't eat dinner when I got home.After dinner,I finished my personal PC work and went upstairs to look through my 45 r.p.m. singles to see if I had a certain song,which I did not.But I will see if I can still obtain it somehow.
I am looking forward to entertaining the crowd tonight.I always look forward to doing that each and every week.I always enjoy singing up a storm.As always,I hope that things go well for me tonight.Though I rarely,if ever,have an off night,I always still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.Again,I hope that the night goes well for me.
Tomorrow is Sunday.I have not made up my mind as to what I am going to do but whatever it is,I am hoping that it is something that will benefit me in a positive way.
That was my day today,including my hopes for tonight and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.The work shift went by smoothly and I picked up plenty of laundry.The Monday crew is going to have a lot to do.Thew day also was sunny and bright but not humid.I also had a very good drive home today.After cashing my check,I stopped at a thrift shop and picked up a few more record albums and singles.I even managed to find a video starring the Olsen Twins.After that,I went home.
The only disappointing thing was that I relapsed again.I masturbated with those stupid images coming back to mind.This is my third consecutive relapse this week and it did bring me down initially.After asking the creator to forgive me,I felt better and it also motivated me to forgive myself.Again,I do feel pretty good despite that relapse.I know that I will beat this habit.I just have to keep hanging in there.
After I ate dinner,I went to a supermarket to turn in some bottles that were in the trunk of my car.I wanted to do that before the storm that we were getting started.Right now,it is raining but it is not storming.The rain is coming down but it is not too big.It is a medium downpour.But I am at home relaxing and I am getting ready for the weekend.I just want to save my energy for tomorrow night.
I am glad that the weekend is finally here.I am looking forward to singing up a storm tomorrow night.I always look forward to singing tomorrow night for my friends.It is something that I live for.I am hoping that the night goes well for me.I do not know what I am going to sing but I know that it will be something good.
I am looking forward to attending the group on Monday night.I am hoping that the group goes over well and I am also hoping that it is worth going to and continuing to go to.I feel that I do need some help in learning new ways to control my anger and resort to more positive ways of expressing how I feel rather than negative ways.I have resorted to negative ways too many times and it has gotten me into trouble.Again,I am hoping to gain some more insight and learn more positive ways of expressing my anger than negative so I can avoid trouble later on.I also want to advance on and hope for the best.
Last night,I watched a video on YouTube on how vinyl records are made.It was great.I am a collector of rare vinyl and this was a great eductaional experience.A lot of hard work goes into the making of vinyl recoord albums and singles.By comparison,it's easier to make vinyl records than it is to make CD's.I now better appreciate what I do as a hobby and why I do it.
Again,I am hoping that my night of entertaining goes well tomorrow night.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.The work shift went by smoothly and the lunch period was also great.After lunch,I simply bagged the laundry that was done and I dropped it off.I went home soon afterwards because I needed to drop some stuff at home and I needed to get ready for my afternoon appointment.I simply did a little bit of my personal computer work and went to my appointment.I made it just in time.
My meeting with my sexual abuse support counselor went well.We simply read a chapter from a book on anger management and how depression is a from of anger turned inward.This was a new thing that I learned today.I never realized that depression is a form of anger.I am now starting to learn new things and hope to learn a few more.I am also looking forward to attending a new sexual abuse support group within the place that I have sessions with my sexual abuse support counselor.I am hoping that this group works out well.I am also looking forward to meeting new men and hoping to start some new friendships.Again,when this group starts,I am hoping that it works out well and that it helps me out a lot.I can use all the support that I can get.
I am still looking forward to attending that first meeting of that anger management/conflict resolution group Monday evening.I can hardly wait to meet new men and start having new friendships and healthy relationships.I am looking forward to that Monday evening group and I am hoping that it helps me out a lot and that I also learn a lot more about how I can effectively manage my anger and control it rather than it controlling me.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling better than I have been.I had a pretty good day today.The pick-up went by pretty well.There was no mess to clean and that was great.I dropped it off at the worksite and afetr sorting it out,I went home.I tried to take a nap today,but couldn't.I wound up relapsing again.I masturbated to images of naked men and having sexual fun with them.Plus,there were other disgusting degrading things that crept up in my mind but I am not going to talk about that.Why?Because I do not want to gross anyone out.That is how bad they are.But again,I am no longer feeling bad about it.I am simply going to forget about it and move on.I am going to work on not letting these images of nude men demanding favors from me torture me.I am going to try and work on these things and not let it bring me down.I relapsed and that is all.I am not going to let it bring me down.
My support group meeting at the church went great.It was wonderful to relieve myself of some of the emotional baggage that I have been carrying this past week.I shared what has been going on in my life and my work and it was great to share these things with the men and being heard.It was also wonderful that they also listened to me as well.I also learned that I had something in common with one of the men in the group,which was wonderful.It is great to learn that I had something in common with one of the men.I went home feeling great.It was a long drive home but I had a feeling of satisfaction that has not left me.I hope that it lasts very long.
I also had a talk with that friend of mine in North Carolina who authored a great book that I contributed to.It was a great conversation.He gave me some pretty good advice on what I should do in a month's time.He wanted me to put into my mind who I really am.I have told him repeatedly about all the turmoil that went on in my life and what my father did to me in the name of his "Born-Again Christianity" and all the physical,emotional and spiritual abuse that I endured at his hand.He simply told me that I should concentrate on working to be a happy man who strives to learn new things.He advised me to try it for a month and see what happens.I said that I would try it and apply what I am learning in my daily life and also talk about it here on my blog. He also advised me to work on not letting the torture and turmoil that my father placed on me bring me down and angry and forget all the emasculations that he gave.I am going to also work on appreciating compliments better.I still have a hard time accepting and appreciating compliments all because of all I went through.But as he advised,I am going to strive to learn new things and work on becoming the happy balanced man that I want to be.
Earlier today,I went to my auto mechanic to have my brakes checked out.The brakes on my car need to be replaced.My mechanic did make some minor adjustments that will help for now but he said that the work still needs to be done soon.I know that it needs to be done and I will get it done when I can,which will be soon.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes by smoothly.I also have an appointment with the substitute sexual abuse support counselor.I am hoping that the meeting with her goes well.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow as well as what I have to work on in the months ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.My work day went by smoothly.But I was tired for much of the day.I was yawning and trying to stay awake.I even drank a couple of cups of coffee but that did not work.Fortunately,I did not fall asleep on the job but it was still frustrating trying to stay awake and do my job.When the time that I could go home arrived,I simply bagged the laundry and I dropped it off at the rehab center.Afterwards,I went home to relax but my day was not over yet.
I also went to a local shopping mall in my area because there was something going on there.I had the opportunity of winning a few autographed photos of sports heroes.I manged to win a few of mostly wrestlers though I am not into wrestling.One of them was a male wrestler and the other two were female wrestlers.But still,the pics will be collectable later on and I am glad that I won something.I also won some vintage sports memoriabilia.It was great to have won that but I had to wait in a long line for over two hours.Still,what I got was better than nothing and it was a great evening.After this,I simply got in my car and drove home.
On the way home,there was a storm coming.I saw lightning over the peninsula in one of teh cities in the next county and I wanted to get home right away so I would not get caught in it.Fortunately,when I got home,it was only a reasonably brife electrical storm but I wanted to get home fast just in case it would get really ugly.You never know.
Tomorrow is simply a pick up day.I am hoping that the pick up goes well.Tomorrow night,I am going to my support group meeting at the church.I am hoping that it goes well.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a very good day today.I finally went to see the medication manager at the local hospital today and the session went well.I told her an awful lot over what has happened in the last several weeks and she was glad to hear it.I told her everything.I did not leave anything out.I also showed her the book that I had recently received and I also informed her that I was one of the contributors.She seemed very enthusiastic over this.The session went for a little over an hour but it was terrific.I have another appointment with her in November.Again,the session today with her went well.
After I left the hospital,I ran a personal errand for my mom and I also walked through another shopping mall in my area.I went into a certain store and I looked at some of the electronics that they had for sale.It was simply a few stereo players with turntables,CD and cassette players.But they were nice.I had a pretty good time simply window shopping.I did not buy anything but still,it was good to window shop.The day was also sunny and cheerful.We are supposed to get rain in a couple of days.The rain will do some good.Though the days have been a roller coaster ride regarding the weather,the rain will still do some good.We did have some rain on Friday night and a little bit on Sunday,but a little bit more will do good.
When I was having the session with the medication manager,she gave me a phone number to get in touch with another group in the area.It is an anger management/conflict resolution group that I think will do me some good.I have been having some problems lately because I have been in an emotional funk ever since the sudden death of that support group at the church member.I have been saying angry things to myself pretending that there are people present.I feel that I do need some help in keeping this under control.Though I have been doing a good job of keeping my temper under control according to some of the people that I know,I still feel that I need some extra help.I would like to STOP saying angry things and statements to myself because I do not want to get myself into trouble like hurting myself or others.I could hurt myself where somebody could be scared of approaching me due to this or it could be a lot of other things that could happen.I am only going to pursue this because it is better to be safe than sorry.
Tomorrow is simply a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by well.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I did not have too exciting of a day today.I simply ran an errand for my mom and I had a quick lunch over at a local shopping mall.When I got there,I was waiting on a parking spot because there was a Canadian man going into his truck and it looked like that he was going to leave but a few seconds later,another Canadian man in the truck next to his came out and it looked like that he might be asking directions.But all they both did was light up cigarette and started puffing.That really frosted me.I felt that this was a very inconsiderate thing to do.I was waiting on a parking spot and they just stood there smoking a "cancer stick" and talking.I even let them have it with how I felt about this little inconsideration.But they just gave me a dirty look,which roughly translated was "Who The Hell Is This Nutcase?"After that,I simply drove off and found another spot.Not where I wanted but better than nothing.The worst part of it was that the guy drove by me and gave me the finger.That really angered me because again,this guy was very inconsiderate in leading me to wait for a parking space and then smoke a cigarette with someone else while leaving others waiting.The 2nd worst part of it was that there was no mall security around to tell these guys how wrong they were.I don't mind Canadians coming here to shop because it helps keep our economy flowing.But to pull a stunt like this is not only inconsiderate but it is also 100% WRONG.Nobody should keep others waiting for parking spaces when they are needed.But I guess that it is a part of life.But sometimes,I wish that I did not have to put up with inconsiderate people.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went over well.Not only that,a friend of mine,who I did not expect to see,popped in.We sat together at the same table and we bot went home together with me dropping him off.I had a nice quiet drive home afterwards.
Also,I had a talk with that other friend of mine who I have been trying to get together with for a while.When I did not get him earlier today,I thought that he was out with his new girlfriend.But he told me that he just started a new job and it was at a hotel.He also said that it was a 7 day a week job and it is going to take him about 2-3 weeks to get settled in with it.Again,we're still hoping to get together in teh near future.I do not know when but when it happens,I know that it will be a great thing.
For the rest of the night,I do not know what I am going to do.I might go out and have a quiet drink with a few of the people over at the place where I entertain.After that,when I get home,I might watch a movie before turning in for the night.
Tomorrow I have a appointment with the medication manager over at the local hospital.I am hoping that the session goes well.
That was my day today,my night last night and my hopes for the day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a very good day today.I simply ran a couple of errands for myself and my mom.I went to the bank to withdrawl some money and I also stopped at a yard sale and found some more record albums.The guy that was selling them let me have the 14 albums that I chose for $3.00.What a day.I went home afterwards and did some more personal PC work.While doing this,the mail came and a DVD set that I have been waiting on arrived.It was the 3 disc set The Chucky Collection of the 3 Child's Play sequels that Universal released during the 1990's.This now completes my Child's Play DVD collection.I was happy to get this with all the scene selections and all the other nice things.Again,my Child's Play DVD collection is complete.On Sunday night,I am going to watch Bride Of Chucky again after all these years.I have not seen it in a while.I did originally watch it on VHS when I initially purchased it as a previously viewed tape but now,I can preserve the video tape.
Tonight is my night to sing for the crowd.I can hardly wait to do that.I am hoping that the night goes well for me.Though I rarely,if ever,have an off night,I still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.But I am feeling hopeful and optimistic.I have a feeling that the night will go well.But still,I always hope.As for Sunday,I have made no decisions but whatever I do,I hope that it will be something that helps me out in a positive way.
Thatw as my day today and my hopes for tonight and for the next day.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better that I have been.I had a very smooth work shift today.It went by pretty fast.I got quite a bit done and I was happy.Before I started,I had a nice green salad for lunch at work during the lunch time break and it was delicious.After I had my lunch,I did my job and as stated,the shift went by smoothly.After I dropped off the laundry,I picked up a couple of things at a supermarket,cashed my paycheck and went home.When I got home,I did some catching up on my personal PC work and I also did a viral scan while I ate dinner.The good news is that there are no viruses or spyware on my computer.I even talked with that one friend who I have been trying to get together with for so long and he was feeling down in the dumps due to some things going on in his personal life.I wished him the best of success in his job searching and I hoped that he does indeed find a job.He thanked me and when my mom called me for dinner,I told him that I had to go and he again thanked me for calling.
The weekend is finally here.I am glad for that.I can hardly wait to sing tomorrow night for my friends.I know that it will be something special indeed.This is what I always wait on every week and it always puts a smile on my face when the weekend comes.I am eager to entertain my friends and I am hoping that it all goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for tomorrow night.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.The work shift went by smoothly and even the errand that I ran for my mom went well.But when I got home,I tried to relax but I couldn't.I was lying down on my bed and all of a sudden,images of men in a sexual way were coming back.I had the same old dreams of being in a room with another man with the both of us in bed together and I was performing sexual acts on him and it led me to masturbation.I really felt bad and depressed about this.I asked the creator to forgive me and though I believed I was forgiven,I still felt guilty and miserable.But after taking a couple of St.John's Wart capsules,I felt better and I went to get dinner for me and mom.It was simple take out food from a local KFC and it was pretty good.We had homemade pasta salad as a side dish and it was good.I also had pasta for lunch at work today before I went home for the afternoon after my shift was over.I was tired and I wanted to get home.I have to do it again tomorrow afternoon and I am hoping that the shift goes well.
I am now at home and I am feling better.I do not feel depressed like I did earlier after the relapse.As stated,I have been on an emotional roller coaster ride as of late since the sudden death of a fellow support group at the church member died.I guess that it will take me a while to get over this sudden and tragic death of him.I have never been in a rut like this for as long as this.It has been a month and I have not really started to adjust to life after this.I know that I will but I need to take my mind off of this and I do need to really readjust after this negative and senseless tragedy.I am going to need all the support that I can get.I don't know whether I'm coming or going.Again,I desperately need to readjust.I am hoping that someone can help me.
As stated,tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes by well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.The laundry pick up went well.There was no mess to clean.I simply dropped it off at the work site and after some time at the social club,I went home.On the way,I did manage to stop at a Burger King in my area and have a Whopper Jr. sandwich.I felt that this would tie me over until dinner.
When I got home,I simply watched a special feature on a new DVD that I bought and relaxed.I also layed down on my bed for a bit.I did so because I received the book that I was waiting on.The minute that I get the money to pay that friend of mine,I am going to send it to him.I managed to read some of the contributions that I shared and that was wonderful.It was great to finally read that and smile know that I accomplished something.It is great to contribute to something and share it with the entire world.
After a light dinner,I went to my support group meeting at the church and the meeting was wonderful.We are still feeling the pain of the death of that member who was taken from us so suddenly and at so young of age when he was working on a reconciliation with his family.It is a very tragic thing.Like the rest of my group,I am also feeling it.I have been on an emotional roller coaster ever since this happened.I am hoping that this is over soon.I don't think that I can stand it much longer.But I am going to tough it out and hope for the best.I know that he would not want me or any of the group to dwell on the fact that he is gone.I know that he would want us to move on with our lives and accept that he is no longer with us.I am going to work on that and I am hoping that this rut is over soon.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,I will do a favor for my mom and I will take it easy for the rest of the day.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty fair.I had a pretty smooth work day today.But it did go by slowly.But I managed to get a lot done.
I also managed to finally,on my break,get ahold of a friend of mine who I have been trying to get ahold of the past several days.He said that he had gone away for a while because he felt that he needed to get out of town for a while.I was relived that he was okay and well.I was worried about the guy because I did not hear from him and it really made me think that there was something wrong.But I am relieved that he is okay and that he is well.I am still looking forward to getting together with him and he is still hoping for the same thing.I hope that something will happen.I have not really seen this guy face to face in quite a while and I am hopingthat soon,we can see each other again.We have been having great conversations and that is great.Again,we are hoping to get together again.I hope that something comes of this.
When I got home,I managed to get an errand done for my mom and I also got some donuts from a local Tim Horton's.It was a nice change of pace from having ice cream.I enjoyed the nice little snack.I also managed to relax a bit in the afternoon.That too was great.
I am now at home relaxing.I am getting ready for tomorrow.I only have to do a little bit tomorrow and that is good.Tomorrow is simply a pick-up day and I am hoping that the pick-up goes smoothly.Tomorrow night is also my support group meeting at the church and I am hoping that the meeting also goes well.I am hoping that the day overall goes well.
I rescheduled my appointment with the medication manager at the local hospital.I did it this morning before leaving for work.Though it is only almost a wek away,I am hoping that the meeting goes well.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Happy Labor Day,Everybody!
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.I did not do too much.I never have much to do on holidays like this one.I stayed home for much of the day and I took it easy.It was a nice sunny day with only a small amount of humidity.But it was pretty good.I did not leave the house very much today except to run a coulpe of personal trips.I went out to get a couple slices of pizza as a small appetizer to tie me over until dinner.After dinner,I went out to get a battery for my watch so I can keep track of the time.My watch wore out one night and I waited to get a battery until I had the money.It was a cheap watch but the battery was replaceable and it does keep good time.After that,I came home and finished my personal PC work.It was a lot but I got it done.
I am now at home relaxing.It is evening at the moment and I am getting ready for the next day,which is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.I have been on an emotional rollercoaster as of late and I see,as far as this moment,that it is not going to end very soon.But I am hanging in there and I am still hoping that things will start working out for me.As stated previously,I am awaiting a book by a friend of mine,which he autographed,and I can not wait to check it out.I am still wondering how my contributions came out in the book.Again,I can hardly wait to receive it and to read it.WOW!I am hoping that it is a great work.
As stated,tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.I did not do too much.I simply went and did some personal shopping for myself.I had to pick up a few things that I really needed.It was nothing much.It was just a few odds and ends.But I got it out of the way.The day was pretty nice and I had a pretty good time out today.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went great.It was a pretty awesome night.I even tried out one new song last night.It was an old David Allan Coe song.I heard it on the juke box and I thought that I would do it.It was pretty tough to sing but I managed it very well because I did get a very positive reponse from the crowd.The rest of the songs were songs that I reaquainted myself with.I am hoping to try out a few new stuff this coming Saturday and I am hoping that it all works well.Again,it was a wonderful night and I had a blast.
I had a talk with a friend of mine from New Jersey and he's doing good.We talked for a short time but it was great to talk with him.Afterwards,I took it easy for a while.I also layed down for a bit on my bed listening to a few of the old fashioned 78's that I bought a few weeks ago from the old man at that garage sale.For the rest of the evening,I have not really decided what I am going to do.I might go out for a drink and socialize with a few people or I might just stay home.Whatever I do,I hope that it helps me in a positive way.
Tomorrow is Labor Day.It is nothing special because I always have a day off on Monday.But it is great to have a nice holiday where I can do some stuff.There will be nothing much open tomorrow.So,I just might take it easy and concentrate on the week ahead.
That was my day today.My night last night and my hopes for tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling hopeful and optimistic.I had a pretty good day today.I went over to that friends house to pick up the money that he owed me and he had it.That was great.Afterwards,I went to a shopping mall in my town to get a haircut.I had to wait for nearly an hour to get it because there was a lot of customers in the mall and even the hair cut place.I did not mind.If I had to wait.I had to wait.The wait was well worth it.After the near hour was up,I went in and got my hair cut the way I wanted it.It was wonderful.After that,I stopped at a supermarket in my area to pick up a little thing for dinner on Monday.I also had to go to a drug store to pick up something for my mom.Overall,not too bad of a day.
When I got home,I took a bath and shaved.I ate dinner after cleaning up.It was just a small pizza.But it was great.After dinner,I took it easy and finished my personal PC work.I also relaxed in my room and listened to a little music.
Tonight is my night to go out and sing up a storm.I am hoping that the night goes well.Though I rarely,if ever,have an off night,I still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.But I am keeping my head up and I am remaining hopeful and optimistic.I still hope for a great night.
Tomorow is Sunday.I have not made any plans but whatever I do,I hope that it will help me in a very positive way.Monday is the holiday.I might just stay home and take it easy because there will not be too many places open.
That was my day today.My hopes for the nights tonight and my hopes for the rest of the weekend.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a very smooth work shift today.It was so smooth that it went very fast and I was glad when the time was over.After the loads that I had to get done were finished,I simply bagged them and dropped them off at the drug/alcohol rehab center.Afterwards,I went to the store for my mom and picked up a couple of things for the home.One thing was for dinner and another was strictly for the home.Overall,a pretty smooth work day.
When I got home from work,a video that I had been waiting on had arrived.I was worried that it would not show up because I was checking the Track & Confirm via the USPS website and there was no record of the shipment over the last few days.But today,when I got home,there it was in a Priority Mail envelope and I was excited.It was the ZOOM:Best of the '70's video.I even watched it after the local news tonight and it was awesome.It brought back some pretty good memories of my childhood before my dad took me to live with him.Before my dad took me away from here,I had some really pleasant memories here at this home but that "brief" visit with my dad,which lasted nine months,was what really mixed me up.I went from being a happy kid to being an angry young man later on struggling with this SSA gender identity disorder.This was the root cause of my struggles alongside the rejection by other males and the sexual abuse that I endured.But the pleasant stuff that I remembered watching the video was awesome and it was great to revisit the happiness that I felt at that particular time.But now,I am heading in the right direction and I am still working on overcoming and recovering from this rut that I am currently in.
I am glad that the weekend is here.I can hardly wait to entertain the crowd tomorrow at the place where I sing.I always look forward to that every Saturday night and I am hoping that the night goes well.
The only disappointing thing was that when I called that friend of mine who I have been trying to get together with,he was not home or maybe he was sleeping.I will call him again tomorrow afternoon and see if he is doing good.I also have to drop in on a friend who owes me money.But mainly,I want to see how he's doing and see if him and his live in girlfriend is doing good.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty smooth work day today.The shift went by pretty good and fast.It was like nothing happened.But I did get a lot done and that was great.Even the laundry pick-up today went by well.There was no mess to clean.I simply picked up the laundry and brought it to the work place to sort it out and get it done.Again,a very smooth work shift.
I also had an appointment with the substitute sexual abuse support counselor today and that meeting went by well.The lady that my regular counselor substituted for me is actually great.We talked about my life and some of the things that had happened when I was younger.The session was pretty short but I don't mind.I would much rather stretch it out over several sessions rather than talk about everything in one.That way,I always have some stuff to talk about each and every session and that way,my mind doesn't draw a blank when I get to the office for each and every session.Again,it was a great session and I am looking forward to the next one.
After the session,I did some grocery shopping for my mom because she needed some stuff for dinner tomorrow.It was not much.It was just several little things that I needed to get so we could have what my mom would like to fix.I am hoping that it all turns out well.Tomorrow is also pay-day and then there is the three day Labor Day weekend.Of course,Monday is always a day off to me so I am used to the thing.Still,I am just glad that there is a holiday coming up so I can concentrate on the next work day.
Earlier this afternoon,I had a talk with a friend of mine from North Carolina.I was surprised to hear from him so soon.I left a message on his voice mail and I did not expect to hear from him so soon.He told me that the book that he is working on is finished and ready to be sold.He also informed me that my copy is going to be placed in the mail today so I can receive it in a few days.I can hardly wait to get it.It is a book where I contributed some stuff to and I can hardly wait to see how my contributions come out.He also gave me some affirming words about my participation in the men's online inquiry forum.He told me that I was a very courageous man in sharing all of my life within the group and for being honest with the men in the forum and that I should keep it up.He also told me that I was one of the founding members in the forum.All of that made me feel a bit better and that was awesome to hear those words.I always enjoy talking to him because he always knows what to say at the right time.Again,I can hardly wait to receive that book.I can also hardly wait to read it.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better than yesterday.Today was simply a pick up day and that went great.There was no mess to clean nor was there any problems of any sort.After dropping off the laundry at work site and sorting it out,I went straight home.While I was out doing my job,I did a special virus scan on my computer to see if there was anything in my database that should not have been in there because of the problems that I was having yesterday regarding why the screens were freezing on me.Thankfully,there was nothing in my computer database that woudl cause this.There were no viruses or spyware.It was a relief and I felt better about that.I also took a nap when I got home because I still felt a little tired due to a lack of sleep last night.The nap made me feel better.After my nap,I finished my personal computer work.
The current scandal from Washington concerning Senator Craig,who was caught trying to come on to that other guy in that restroom,really brought back things from my past.I started getting mental pictures of some of the things that I used to do in search of anonymous sex with other guys.Whenever I had anonymous encounters,they happened just about anyplace.Most of the times I had anonymous sex,which consisted mostly of me performing oral sex on another guy,happened in places like school bathrooms,in bushes or wooded areas surrounded mostly by trees so we could hide anywhere while I performed the sexual favor(?)on the other guy.It's a wonder why I never got caught doing that to them in those places.Sometimes I wished that someone did catch me mainly because I wanted to stop me and ask "WHY!?" or maybe try to steer me away from it.Yes it did bring back a lot of painful stuff that I was trying to put out of my mind but now they are coming back in the forms of mental pictures.It's like watching a video of yourself performing this activity non-stop on those other guys.I only performed the sexual act because it gave me a feeling of something.It was not a sexual feeling but as I later learned,it was a feeling of fulfillment that I received because I was looking to feel like a man and wanted something that I lacked.I wanted to be masculine and the feeling that sucking the cocks of other guys until they ejaculated in my mouth,which was followed by my swallowing of their ejaculate,was because I wanted masculinity and I was actually sucking them off just to be masculine.Of course,I was to later learn that giving blowjobs was no way of achieving this.The more you gave.The more emptiness you will feel.First,you will feel fulfilled but the feeling is temporary.The emptiness always comes back when the feeling of fulfillment wears off and you're back to where you were before you performed oral sex on the other guy.I also loved the feel that another man's genitals were giving me.That is what led me to become addicted to performing this activity on other guys because I felt that it was something that I really wanted to do and that being attracted to men and performing oral sex on them was an inevitability rather than a choice.Plus,I wanted to feel that good feeling every time I got the opportunity to do just that.I also have to admit that there were times that I did not want to because,at the same time,there were also conflicting emotions over this.While I felt that I was enjoying this and that it was inevitable that I did that,I still felt that this was not right to do nor did it make sense.But when they exposed their hard cocks,I gave in.Again,I was enjoying it even though I felt that this was not the thing for a guy like to do to another guy.But at the same time,I felt that since this was who I was and also felt that this was something that I had to do because of my cravings to feel those "false positive" feelings every time,I felt that there was no choice and that acting out was inevitable and that what I was doing and who I felt that I was in that sense was the essence of who I really was.But now,I am smarter and I now know that acting out is a choice and not an inevitability.Whenever I get the feelings of emptiness,I can now find healthy ways of fulfilling my needs and how I can feel like a man without performing anything sexual on a man.Acting out sexually is a choice and not something I have to do all because of the environmental factors that lead me to become Homosexual(i.e.Gay)and also,the years of sexual abuse that I endured all because I was being used as a little plaything for all those selfish bastards who did not care about how I felt regarding this stuff.Yes,I admit it.There were times that I did because I wanted to do it because they were the moments when I was really hungry and starving and I was going crazy about feeling that way and saying to myself,but not loudly,"I just gotta suck some guy's dick!I am starving!I gotta suck some guy off!I need to feel those feelings again!I need swallow some guy's cum!I gotta suck some guy's dick!"When the opportunity presented itself,I gave in when asked and I did feel better.But again,the haunting reality of emptiness would come back after those good feelings faded and as usual,I was back to where I started from.But again,I know that I am now free from being enslaved to the image of a naked man with an erection.I am glad that I can now fulfill my needs in a healthy way and not perform anything sexual on a guy.I now have knowledge and I can now think before I act.It is great that I no longer have to perform oral sex on another guy to feel fulfilled.If I continued to do that everytime I turned around,I would be doing that for the rest of my life and to forever be addicted to giving blowjobs until the day I die.Thank God I'm free.I stil get the desires but now,I can choose whether to act out on them or not.
My support group meeting at the church tonight went great.It was wonderful to relieve myself of some more emotional baggage and share what went on with me during the last few days.It was wonderful to be heard and to hear the other men.I am looking forward to next week's meeting.I hope that it goes as well as tonight's.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.The work day went by smoothly but for much of the day,I was very depressed.I did not know why that I was.It just happened.I guess that I was still disappointed that I did not get to see the medication manager over at the local hopsital yesterday.I was also feeling somewhat tired.Again,the work day went by smoothly but I was feeling depressed.I am hoping that I will feel better after a good night's sleep.
This afternoon,when I got home,I simply took it easy for a while before doing anything.Though the work day went well,I was tired and I thought that I would rest and take it easy for a while.I did do my personal computer work this afternoon but I had some computer issues.My computer froze on me twice today.It was so bad that I had to pull the plug on it to unfreeze it and start all over again.I did go out earlier this evening looking for herbal tea that can help ease my mood when I get the occasional spell of the blues.Today was no exception as I was feeling down.
I guess another reason I am feeling down is because I am trying to initiate helathy relationships with other guys.You see,I gave my phone number to a few guys that I knew in hopes that they would call me and we can arrange a little get together.But I have not heard anything from them and I am wondering what is going on.I also know a few guys who do have an addiction to sex and I think that this is all they care about.It is a shame when a guy like me who is struggling with emotional issues is trying to seek support from his fellwo man and he is not getting it.Nobody told me that this was going to be easy but this is ridiculous.What is the problem?Is there something I did wrong?If so,What is it?I would like to know.The mere fact that I have not heard from them is what's contributing to my depression.I will keep trying to initiate these things.I am still holding on to the hope that something will happen.
Tomorrow is simply a pick-up day.I am hoping that this goes well.Tomorrow night is my support group meeting at the church.I am hoping that the meeting goes well,too.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.The reason why I am feeling this way is because I had high hopes for attending that appointment today with the medication manager over at the local hospital but it was cancelled.Apparently,the manager did not come into the office today and the appointment recording secretary called me to inform me of the cancellation.I have to call the hospital back in the near future to reschedule the appointment.I am hoping that I get ahold of her soon so I can do that.I had high hopes but those hopes came crashing down.OH WELL!
I did manage to find a suitable replacement for the day.I went to visit a friend of mine who owned a music store to show him the Elvis video that I bought a few nights ago.He told me that it was a good find and that I should take good care of it.After that,I had a pasta lunch at a small local restaurant.I also ran an errand for my mom and I stopped at a couple of Salvation Army thrift shops and found some more collectable records at both of them.Despite the disappointment,I had a pretty good day but now I have to wait a while before I can unload all of what I wanted to unload today with the medication manager at the hospital.I am hoping that I do not have to wait too long.I am going to call the hospital tomorrow and I am hoping that I can reschedule the appointment sooner than expected.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too exciting day today.I simply ran a few errands for my mom and went to visit a friend of mine for short time.He is doing pretty good.The only major disappointment of the day was that I was hoping to get together with a friend who I had been hoping to get together with but he was not home.He was out with his girlfriend.Though it did disappoint me,I did manage to talk with him on the phone for a half hour today.He sadi that we would have to play it by ear and see what happens.I am hoping to get together with him soon.I have not seen him in quite some time.I hope that it happens soon.
I did manage to stop at a few garage sales today.I picked up a lot of stuff at one.It was a bunch of video tapes and a couple more record albums.The person running the sale was a person who I had not seen in quite a while.It was an old school mate of mine.It was great to see him.I also ran into a young lady who I have not seen in quite a while.She was surprised that I remembered her and what she used to do in high school and who she used to go out with.It was awesome running into these people after all these years.It was also awesome finding all these great collectables.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd was a big success.There was a pretty big crowd at the place last night.It was really neat.I had a blast and it was great.I am looking forward to doing it again next week.
For the rest of teh evening,I have not made any plans.But I think that I might go out and have a drink with a few people at the place where I sing.If I do,I will make it short because I have something that I have to do tomorrow.
Tomorrow is my day off.I do have something that I need to do tomorrow afternoon.I have an appointment with the medication manager at the local hospital.I hope that the meeting with her goes well.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling great.I had a wonderful day today.As stated yesterday,I went to the shopping mall where the Buffalo Sabres trio of the 1970's known as the French Connection were signing autographs and it was great to see those guys again.Yes it was.I had a wonderful time waiting in the line to get their autographs and it was well worth the wait.I even had a few great talks with some of teh other fans who were waiting to get their autographs as well.I also got a free ticket to another event there.It is to get FREE pictures of some select athletes from many Western New York sports teams on the 11th of September.I can hardly wait for that.I will be meeting a few current Buffalo Sabres players there that day.It will be totally awesome.I can hardly wait for that.It will at 6:oop.m.on the 11th of September.
Tonight is my night to entertain the crowd at the place where I do sing.I am looking forward to this with of enthusiasm and optimism.I am hoping that the night goes well.Though I rarely,if ever,have an off night,I still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.
Tomorow is Sunday.I am hoping to finally get together with that old friend who I have been meaning to do that with.I will be calling him tomorrow afternoon to see if it is going to be.I hope that it will be what it will.It would be great to sit face to face with him talking about a lot of things.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty tough day today.I had to take over for the normal Friday morning cleaner this morning.I got a couple of hours in this morning and I did my normal job in the afternoon.The laundry pick-up was smooth.No mess to pick up at the pick up place.The rest of the day went by smoothly but I was tired.I am glad that I do not have to do that every time.I am used to resting up in the morning while working to keep myself awake so I can go to work in the afternoon on Fridays.But I am greatful for the extra pay.I am going to need it.
I am glad that the weekend is finally here.I am going to do my usual entertaining the crowd tomorrow night.I am hoping that it goes well.I also have other plans for tomorrow.I am going to a shopping mall where I will be meeting the Buffalo Sabres trio from the 1970's known as The French Connection.I always go somewhere when they sign autographs for their fans and this time,there will be pictures taken as well.That will be neat.I am looking forward to that with a lot of enthusiasm.It will be great to get more autographs.
I also had a talk with an old friend tonight.It was that same friend that I was hoping to get together with last Sunday but he was sick.But we are hoping for this Sunday.I hope that it can happen.I have not seen him in quite a long time.I have talked with him over the phone lots of times.But to see him face to face will be great.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.I am feeling mostly anger because I had a very difficult day at work today.The day started out promsing and I had a lot of optimism in me as the day started.
But the day turned difficult after I had a run in with a guy who thought his shit didn't stink.The run in was regarding the social club computer.As I have stated previously,there have been some problems in the past regarding the social club computer regarding people not recording their time down and all sorts of stuff,such as pornographic web addresses appearing in the history even when the person who was on there during the specific time was not even logging on to.This time,a guy recorded his time down but it was not the correct time based on the computer clock and also,he was also on too long.At the social club,the rules state that you must record time on and off and you also have to use the computer clock and not the clock on the wall.Plus,when I made a statement what that guy told me about his being unaware of that rule,I simply and politely informed him that "Ignorance Of The Rules Is No Excuse."He jumped to the wrong conclusions,got really angry and threatened me right in front of a female staffer and even had to nerve to swear an even swearing(i.e.profanity)was against the rules.Apparently,the coordinator talked with him and told him that threats against other members were inappropriate and that he would be suspended for a week the next time he did so.Of course,while that might have worked out well,I am still feeling at edge over it because I was angry at that guy for what he did wrong to me.I am hoping that I feel better tomorrow.I am hoping that a good night sleep will help me out.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am working a full day tomorrow.The normal Friday morning cleaner called in sick and I am taking over for the cleaner.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.I did my typical laundry pick-up today and it went well.There was no mess today for me clean up and after I picked up,I dropped it off at the work site and sorted out the laundry.I left afterwards.I did not make any stops on the way home except to withdraw some money for my mom and have a light lunch at Burger King.It was nothing special.It was just a Rodeo Cheeseburger and after I finished,I drove home.Before I did that,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas in my tank.
When I got home,I simply finished up my personal computer work.It was a lot to do.But I managed to get it done.
For the rest of the afternoon,I simply took it easy and watched some of the special features on my copy of the special unrated and fully extended edition of Seed Of Chucky.It was great.I saw some stuff on there where they talked about why the movie was made and why they felt it should be made.It was interesting to see all of this stuff and learn something new at the same time.
Later this afternoon,I heard from,via e-mail,the guy who I bought records from on Monday.He told me that he searched high and low for his cell phone but never found it.He also informed me that he bought a new one.I replied thanking him for letting me know and I apologized for his inability to find it.
I attended my support group meeting at the church tonight and it was wonderful as always.Once again,it was wonderful to let go of some emotional baggage and hear the stories of the other men.I am looking forward to next Wednesday night's meeting.I hope that it is as wonderful as the last.
Tomorrow is simply another work day.I hope that the shift goes well for me.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty smooth work day today.It was just the same old same old.But again,it went smoothly and fast.There was a lot to be picked up today and there was also a lot to drop off.I also had a helping hand today in the form of a man that I used to work with and that made me feel pretty good.Afterwards,I went to buy something for my mom and went home.
When I got in,I got a phone call.It was from the guy that I bought the records from yesterday.Apparently,his cell phone was missing.He asked me if I had taken it accidently.I said that I didn't and that if I did,I would've returned it to him.He said that the reason why that he asked was because he left it in his garage and that he really needed it desperately because of his heart condition.I wished him the best of success in finding it and that I do hope that he does.He said Thanks and hung up.After that,I laid down until dinner.We had a light meal.
I also went and picked up some donuts at a local Dunkin Donuts.We had a spare coupon for buy 6 get 6 free and I thought that I would take advantage of this once again.I am always up for something different regarding desserts rather than have the same old stuff every time.It was not a very eventful day but I did get a lot done.
Tomorrow is simply a pick-up day.After that,I will just relax and take it easy for much of the afternoon.After that,I have my Wednesday night support group meeting at the church and I am hoping that it goes well.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too eventful day day today.I woke up today around 12:30 p.m. and was greeted by the unexpected.My grandnieces and grandnephew came over to spend the afternoon here.Yes they did.I don't mind but I was a little disappointed because I was hoping for a nice quiet afternoon at home but I did not get it.I know that I won't always get the things that I feel I deserve but having them over when they do at times fight a lot especially when they are on the couch and they sometimes unintentionally hurt themselves and make noise.Don't get me wrong,I know that kids are going to be noisy and that they can be unpredictable in their actions but it is really not a good thing to hear kids scream and holler quite a bit.They were here for a few hours and their mother,my niece,picked them up.
While they were over here,I went out for a while.I stopped over a guy's house who was hanging on to some records for me.When I got there,I checked them out and bought them all.They were mostly old fashioned 78's,where some of them still looked like new and unplayed.It is hard to believe that quite a bit of them looked like brand new and that they were also now being cared for in a good caring home.I also had a couple of record albums added to the set.I also went and had a light but late lunch to tie me over until dinner.
When I did get home,I stayed in my room upstairs for the rest of the afternoon.Of course,being up there was not a very good idea though I did need some quiet time and privacy,I wound up relapsing by masturbating again.I am hoping that this does not happen again.I did ask for forgiveness from the creator and he even helped me to forgive myself for that.Still,it did bring me down for a short while and it was devastating to fail.But I am slowly feeling better about this and I am hoping that tomorrow,I will feel much better.
Last night,I did go out for a quick drink.I hung out with some of the guys at the place where I sing and entertain.I did not do any singing.I just hung out for a few minutes and had a quick drink,which was a bottle of non-alcoholic beer.I do take psychiatric medication and that is why I could not have any alcohol in my system so that when I took it,I had nothing to worry about.I did another scan on my computer last night after the anti-virus software caught a virus,which was a Trojan.Dropper virus,in my system.After restarting the computer while having the system recovery turned off,I did the scan and my computer was clean.What a relief.I stopped a virus before it could do any damage to my system.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by well.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.I did have a fairly decent day today.I was hoping to get together with that friend that I was talking to on Friday but he wasn't feeling well.Apparently,he went walking for a little over 3 hours and his feet were hurting him.I was disappointed.I was hoping to get together and watch a movie with him that I had told him about.Oh well.But we are hoping that next Sunday will be a better day and that he is hoping that he is feeling better soon.I also hope so.I had high expectations of getting together with him.But I do understand when a person's health isn't teh way they feel it should be because I at times feel the same way myself because I am a human being.But again,we are both hoping that next Sunday will be a better day.For the day,I just ran an errand for my mom and that was it.
Last night,my Elvis Presley tribute was a hit.Each and every one loved my tribute to The King Of Rock & Roll.The night was a huge success and I felt good about what I had accomplished.It was wonderful and it was also fun.Next week,it will be back to normal.I will be doing the dame old type of stuff that I am used to doing.But again,the next tribute will be for George Harrison when the anniversary of his death rolls around alongside the anniversary of the death of John Lennon.That will be 3.4 months away but those will be my next ones.
For the rest of the night,I have not made any plans but Ia m thinking about going out and having a friendly drink.I have not really made up my mind but if I do,I will keep it safe and sane.
That was my day today,my night last night and my hopes for the rest of tonight and tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I am also feeling very hopeful and optimistic.I had a pretty good day today.I ran a couple of errands for my mom today.I also managed to check up on a friend that I had been meaning to check up on for a while.He is doing great.That made me feel better.After checking up,I finished the errand.It was nothing much.I had to pick up a few things for the home.While I was doing that,I managed to drop off some things at a Salvation Army thrift shop in my area because somebody threw away a whole bunch of useful stuff in the garbage after an unsuccessful garage sale.I figured that if they did not want the stuff,there were people who could use it.It was great to do a little something for the community and make sure that at least,the stuff can be used by someone who could very well find a use for it.
Right now,I am at home relaxing.I am getting ready for tonight.I am planning to do a tribute to Elvis Presley tonight when I go out to sing tonight.I am hoping that my tribute to Elvis goes well tonight.As stated before,I rarely,if ever,have an off night.I still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.Again,I am hoping that the night goes over well.I am getting ready for the night and I am eagerly awaiting the time where I will be there to entertain.I hope that the night is a smashing success.
Tomorrow is Sunday.I am not sure what I will do tomorrow but whatever it is,I hope that it will be something that will give me a positive feeling.
That was my day today and my hoped for night tonight,including my hopes for the day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a long talk with a friend who I do not see very much.He is doing good.He told me that he is looking for another job because he quit his previous job and he says that he is looking for something better.I wished him the best of success and that I hoped that it worked out well for him.During the long time we talked,we talked about a lot of things,mostly things that we have in common.It was a very long conversation.We talked for over an hour.The only reason why we did talk for that long because we don't get to talk very much.But again,it was great to talk with him and we had a great time talking with each other.We are still hoping to get together in the near future for a little social thing and I am hoping that it is very soon.
Since I had the day off today,I helped my mom with her grocery shopping.We finally got it done and we were glad to get it accomplished.We bought a lot of stuff to get us through the rest of the month and that was great.We also had a wonderful day getting it done.We also had to hurry home afterwards because we did not like the look of the sky.It looked like that it might storm so we wanted to get home immediately before any possible storm would hit.It did rain on the way home but it was not much.Just a few droplets and a brief heavey downpour before returning to droplets and stopping.We did make it home.After my mom put the groceries away,we had a light dinner.We had a California Styled Salad with Shrimp and Ginger dressing.It was awesome.It was also neat having something different for a change.I enjoyed it and my mom enjoyed it as well.
I can not believe that the weekend is finally here.I am looking forward to singing up a storm tomorrow night.As stated previously,I will be doing a tribute to Elvis Presley because this week is the week of his death's anniversary.Elvis has been dead for 30 years.Where did all the time go?The time went by pretty fast.It is like that his death happened only yesterday.I am hoping that my tribute to the King Of Rock & ROLL goes well.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too eventful day today.The work shift went by smoothly.I did not have any mess to pick up at the pick-up place and that was good.I simply picked up the one bag they had and took it to the work site.I did not do too much.I simply did what I had to do and the time went by fast.After I dropped off the laundry,I simply went home afterwards because my mom was planning to go grocery shopping initially but when I got home,she was not feeling well and said that we could do that tomorrow.I said okay and I took it easy.I relaxed for much of the afternoon because it looked like that it was going to rain as I was driving home and I did not go out and do anything due to the possibility of rain.The only things that came down were a few droplets and that was it.But just in case it was going to do that,I stayed home and relaxed.
I was feeling a little at edge this afternoon.As I was laying down on my bed ,I had a strong urge to masturbate.Images of men in the nude demanding favors from me were also coming back.I tried tossing and turning but the images never left.The only thing that broke it was when I got a phone call from a doctor's office.I was relieved when that happened because I probably would have masturbated if that did not happen.Thank goodness for that phone call.
I have been feeling at edge ever since the death of the member of my support group at the church.I am still feeling the effects of his death.I have really been at edge and I have been feeling angry because he did not have to go.He was taken away from us too early.I still feel his absence and I am missing him terribly.Again,he was taken away too soon.He was at the meeting about two weeks ago and now,he was taken away so suddenly.He was also in the process of reconciling with his family when this happened.I am hoping that I get over this soon.He was like a partner in healing with me at these group meetings.I still find it hard to believe that he's gone.
Tomorow is my first Friday off in a long time.I only have to do a pick-up for the Monday people and I am free for the rest of the day.There is a staff picnic and I have chosen to help my mom with her grocery shopping tomorrow.After I cash my paycheck,I am taking my mom to do her shopping.I am getting an early start to my weekend.I will be doing my usual singing for the crowd on Saturday night.I can hardly wait for that.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better.I did not have too exciting of a day today.I did the laundry pick-up today but I did have to pick up a mess.It was not too big a mess to clean but it was still a mess nonetheless.After picking it up,I dropped the laundry off at the worksite and after doing someone a favor,I finished an errand for my mom and went home.I did my personal PC work and relaxed for the rest of the afternoon.
I did attend my support group meeting at the church tonight and it went great.I got to shed some more emotional baggage and it made me feel better.There was also a lot of reflections about the member that died so suddenly.I guess that we are all going to miss him always.It's still hard to believe that he's gone.
There was an unfortunate accident tonight in the church parking lot.An 11 year old boy ran over a pothole in the parking lot and got hurt after he took a terrible tumble on the concrete.I stayed a little while longer until help arrived.When the ambulance arrived,I waited until it left the parking lot.The boy's father also was there and he followed the ambulance to the local hospital.I said to his father that I hope his son recovers soon.I did pass on that they should work on getting that pothole filled and they said that they would work on it.After that,I went home.
Tomorrow is a work day.I hope that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.The work day went by pretty smoothly.There was a huge pick-up today.I had a lot to deliver to the work spot today and I did get a little bit of it done.During the waits for loads to get done,I managed to watch a movie at the social club and that was pretty good.It was the live action remake of the classic children's book Charlotte's Web.Of course,I did favor the original cartoon version better but this was pretty good in it's own right.Again,I had a pretty smooth day today and that made me feel a bit good.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy.Though the day went by smoothly,I was tired because I did not get an awful lot of sleep last night.I don't know why I did not.I guess that it was because of the heat of the previous day that contributed to my lack of sleep.After a nap,I had dinner and did my personal PC work.I also went out to pick up a couple of donuts at a local donut shop and I also turned in some more bottles that had accumulated in the trunk of my car over the past several days.It wasn't quite a bit of money but it was better than nothing.I just had to get them out of my trunk because my mom needs to go grocery shopping this week and I need all the room that I can get in that trunk.
Tomorrow is simply a pick up day.I am hoping that there is no mess to clean up when I do.Tomorrow night is my support group meeting at the church.I am hoping that it goes well.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too exciting of a day today.I simply ran a few important errands for myself today alongside an errand for my mom.I also had to pay my car insurance bill today.I also managed to pay a visit to my auto mechanics garage to inquire about what I had left to pay him.Again,nothing to special.Just a few important things that I had to get out of the way so I can enjoy the rest of the day.
Weatherwise,it was a pretty nice day today.It was not too hot but the sun was shing and it was great to get out and enjoy the day and get some important stuff done.Today was a day off and I really did not have too much to do,which is the usual case.But I did manage to get a few things done and I got to get out.Not too shabby.
Last night,I did go out for a couple of drinks.I even had a few laughs with a few guys and we even reminiced about the good old days on how the city that we lived in used to be.We talked about all the businesses that came and went.It was great that so many people remember how it all used to be.It seems like only yesterday that the city I lived in was booming with lots of business and that there was always some place to go.Nowadays,the city has changed.There is hardly any place to go out and the city is just about dead.But again,it was great to get out last night and I had a ball talking about old times.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day today,my night last night and my hopes for tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.Though it rained for much of the day,I managed to get a few things done for myself.I stopped at a music store in my area and picked up the latest KISS DVD set.It is Volume 2 of KISS concert footage.I watched soem of it tonight after I got home and it is an awesone set.I enjoyed what I saw on this set even though I did watch only a few samples.But still,I enjoyed it.It was great to finally have it.I am now eagerly awaiting the next one.
Today,it rained for most of the day.I did not let the rain stop me from enjoying the day.I went to a shopping mall to have a slice of pizza to tie me over until dinner.I just had to have some food in my system because I feel a bit hungry and I also did not want to eat too much because it was too close to dinner time.It was great to get out and have at least a little bit of fun.After dinner,I simply relaxed a bit and watched some of the DVD set that I bought.
Right now,the weather is now cooled down.The rain really cooled the atmosphere and it now very comfortable.For the rest of the evening,I am not sure what I will do.I might go out and have a drink before turning in for the night.I do not know.But if I do,I will not drink anything alcoholic because I do have to take my medication later.
Tomorrow is my day off.I have not made any plans for tomorrow but whatever I do,I hope that it will help me in a positive way.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am again feeling okay.I had a not too eventful of a day today.I simply ran a few errands today for my mom and myself.I had to pick up a few things for dinner tonight and I also had to turn in some more empty bottles and cans.It was only a few dollars but still,it was better than nothing.It was also good to to clean the trunk out of all these.That way,when I have to take my mom grocery shopping this month,there will be lots of room in the trunk for the groceries.I also had to mail out a couple of things so they would go out on Monday morning.
I am now relaxing.I had a light dinner tonight and I am taking it easy.The weather now is a little bit cooler.It was pretty hot but it was not too humid or hazy.
I am getting ready for tonight.I am going to gout and sing up a storm.I always look forward to entertaining the crowd every Saturday night.I always have a blast entertaining them.I always look forward to singing up a storm every Saturday night.I am hoping that the night goes well.Though I rarely,if ever,have an off night,I always hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.Again,I hope that the night goes well.
Tomorrow is Sunday.I have not really made any plans for tomorrow.I do not know what I will do but whatever I do,I hope that it will help me in a very positive way.
That was my day today and my hoped for night tonight,including my anticipation for tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too bad of a day today despite a minor negative thing that hapened to me today.A very inconsiderate guy answered the phone over at the social club and would not give me his name as I asked for it.I then asked if I could talk to a staff member and he refused to let me do that.He got really nasty and hung up.I called nearly a minute later and the same guy answered the phone.I got really insistant in talking to a staff member and he finally did.After talking to the staffer,I told the staffer how the guy who answered the phone was very rude,cocky and nasty with me over the phone.When I arrived there to get my lunch,that guy avoided me and did not speak to me.I guess that the staffer advised him to stay away with me and that he was not allowed to use the phone for the rest of the day,with the latter being a rule there if you use innappropriate language and/or conduct when answering the phone.
The work shift went by pretty well.There was not really an awful lot to do.The shift went by pretty fast.As a result,I simply bagged the little bit that I did and dropped off the clean laundry at the rehab center.Afterwards,I stopped at a supermarket to pick up a few things for dinner.Tonight's dinner was pretty light.I did not eat too much.I did a little bit more personal PC work and relaxed.
I even managed to visit with a friend and his live in girlfriend and they are doing great.I was happy.While I was out,I did a virus scan on my computer and my database was clean.It is great to have a nice clean computer that is virus and spyware free.
Tomorrow night starts the weekend.I am eagerly awaiting tomorrow night because I will be singing up a storm tomorrow night.I am hoping that the night goes by well.Of course,I will be singing amidst depression of losing a friend so suddenly.But I am going to try and move on and hope to be over this soon.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a day that was not too exciting.I did not do too much except my usual going to work this morning and going home.The work shift went by smoothly but I was still feeling the ill effects of losing a friend all so suddenly.I still find it hard to believe that he is gone.One minute he was there.The next minute he is gone.I don't know why that had to happen to him so suddenly and so young.He was still a very young man.I even shared how I felt with someone over at the social club.It was a shocker to have found out that he was dead.It is going to be tough to try and get along without him for quite some time.Again,I am still feeling the effects of this loss.It is pretty HUGE.I do not know how long it will take for me to get over this but I am going to have to do that.I can not dwell on this loss forever.I know that if I don't want to do that,I am going to need some advice on how to do that.This is the fourth consecutive death to happen where someone I knew died too fast.Again,he was at the meeting last Wednesday and now he is no longer here on earth.
When I did get home,I did some of my personal computer work and saved some for later.I only finished it because my grand nieces and grand nephew were here for much of the late afternoon.I simply went upstairs and laid down for much of the late afternoon because I did not want to be bothered by all the noise that they were making.I know that kids will make noise but I needed some quiet time for myself.So,I stayed upstairs in my room and laid down.They did leave soon when the evening was starting and I had a nice quiet dinner.I am now relaxing and getting ready for the next day,which is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes by smoothly.I am still going to need some moral support in hopes to recover from this all too soon and sudden loss.I am still going to go to the meetings every Wednesday and I am still going to continue and try to get a lot out of them.I hope that this will be the best possible way to help me get over this sudden tragedy.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.The reason why I am feeling this way is because of what I had just found out tonight while at the meeting.
First off,the laundry pick-up went great.There was no mess to clean up anywhere and I dropped it off and sorted it out at the work site.Afterwards,I picked up something for dinner for myself and relaxed for much of the afternoon.I did do my personal PC work today and even that was great.The day,though it was a little HAZY & HUMID,it was actually not as that as it had been the past several days.It was great to have even minimal relief from all of that.
My appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor went great as well.We talked for almost an hour.This was my last meeting with her prior to her leaving for maternity reasons.She will be assigning me a temporary replacement counselor until she returns in January.I am going to miss her and I did wish her well on her pregnancy and that her conception goes well.
Tonight,while the meeting was wonderful.There was a certain sadness within the group tonight.Apparently,one of the members of the support group had passed away.He was killed in an auto accident.A car hit his motorcycle and he was thrown pretty severely off of his cycle and he hit the ground really hard.According to reports,he died on the way to the hospital.I had heard this on Sunday evening when watching the news.I did not know that it was one of the support group members until I got to the meeting tonight.I arrived there with joy and a lot of enthusiasm over the past few days only to be hit really hard by this tragedy.What was surprising about this was that he was at the meeting last Wednesday evening and he was full of life but now,he's gone.It is hard to believe that he is gone.One minute he was there.The next minute,he's gone.I am now wondering WHY HIM?!He was still a very young man.He was working on a reconciliation with his family when this tragedy happened.Why did it have to heappen?I am going to miss him.He wil be missed by everybody in the group and with the people that he worshipped with.
That is why I am feeling mixed emotions tonight.I was feeling joy and enthusiastic about being at the meeting because I wanted to share what went on with me over the last few days.I am also feeling sadness because a member of my support group at the church is now dead.This death was the most shocking thing to happen this week.It is also the fourth consecutive death where someone very close to me died so suddenly.One minute the people are there.The next minute they are gone.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes by smoothly.I am hoping that the next two days go by smoothly.After the shocking and sad news that I received tonight,the next couple of days I am hoping for to go better.
That was my day today and my hopes for the next two days.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty smooth work day today.There was no mess to clean but I did not pick up too much as far as dirty laundry.Apparently,some of the client's have not bothered to change their stuff as of yet.But I am hoping that in the next few days,there will be some to pick up.While the day went by smoothly,the day was nothing to smile about.It was HAZY,HOT,MUGGY & HUMID.The heat and humidity wore me out as I was driving home.Plus,I had to do a detour due to road reapairs on an expressway that I was driving on to make up for lost time.Fortunately,I managed to get everything that I had to do done.I also managed to finally pay my bank for a line of credit account that I have with them.Afterwards,I took it easy for much of the day and had a light dinner.
I did have minor computer issues today.I tried to connect to the internet twice but had to restart my computer both times before I finally managed to log on.I got my personal PC work done and that was it.
I also ran a personal errand for myself to get a couple of things that I personally needed.When I got home,I bathed and watched a little bit of TV.It was great to clean up and get rid of all that sweat and odor of the day.I I hear that tomorrow is supposed to be a repeat of today.We did have a little bit of rain but it did little to cool the atmosphere.Oh Well!
Tomorrow is simply a pick up day.I also have an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor tomorrow afternoon and I also have my usual Wednesday night support group meeting at the church.I just that all goes well for me tomorrow.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a very good day today.I had my first session with the counselor and the session went great.We talked for a little over two hours today in her office and it was great to finally get a lot of what I had to get off of my chest regarding what led me to having SSA and how I can go about resolving the issues.Though I did have to pay some money for the session,it was worth the money that I had paid.She also informed me that she is going to get ahold of some other group in another area to see when their next meeting will be.She said that it would be great for me to get involved with this group and share some of the same stuff that I had shared with her.Again,it was a wonderful session.I am looking forward to another session with her next month when I have some money within the next month.I had a great time talking with her.I am looking forward to talking with her again.She also informed me that she will have another lady call me who also was once in the lifestyle herself and I will be talking with her until she finds a man for me to talk to about the same issues.I am hoping that my first conversation with that lady goes over well.Again,I will talk with her until a man has been found who can talk with me about this.
After the meeting,I stopped at a Salvation Army Thrift Shop in the area and I found a couple more hard to find records there.I also found a few old tapes.It took me over an hour to get back home but the drive was well worth it.It will be great to get involved with another group.I am hoping that the other group also works out well when I meet with them.
Last night,I did go out and have a quick drink at the cafe with a few of the patrons.It was wonderful to be there and talk with them.I am looking forward to Saturday night so I can entertain them yet again.
Tomorrow is a work day I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.After the great weekend,a smooth work day would be the right way to start.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had another not too exciting of a day today.I simply ran another errand for my mom today.It was to get a few things for the home today.It was nothing really too special.It was just to get some coffee and some donuts over at Dunkin Donuts.Before that,I paid a visit with a friend of mine to see if they had gotten the stuff that I had left them.They said that they did.But while there,I got a rude awakening.They asked me to loan them $5.00 because he was in need of his diabetic medication.I loaned them the money though I really did not want to.But I know that they will pay me the money back when they can.They also know of my policy regarding money being loaned out.They know that I will not loan them any more money until they pay me what they owe me back.I have to simply withdraw some money out of my account for lunch tomorrow.Don't get me wrong,I have no problem with them borrowing money from me and they have no problem with my policy regarding when I do this.But when I am asked to do that with money that I was holding for another reason,this really makes me feel very angry and even uncomfortable.But again,I know that I will get the money back from them when they have it.They simply told me to come back in a few days to get it back.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went great.It was yet another successful night for me.I was well received as always and the crowd liked my song selections.There was a little criticism from a female patron over a couple of selections that I had made,she did like my final song,which was The Gambler by Kenny Rogers.Still,despite that criticism,it was a successful night.I had a blast and it made me feel good to entertain them as much as they enjoyed me doing it for them.That is my sole motivator.I look forward to next Saturday night even more now and every Saturday night even more.
Tomorrow is my day off.I will be seeing a counselor tomorrow afternoon that I had learned about via Exodus International.I am hoping that the first session goes over well.I am looking forward to telling the counselor my story as to what led me to have SSA and other stuff that had happened over my life.Again,I am hoping that the session goes well.
For the rest of the night,I have really no plans.But I just might stay home and take it easy or maybe go out for a quick drink before turning in.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good,hopeful and optimistic.I had a not too exciting of a day today.I simply ran a couple of errands for my mom and I dropped something off at a friend's house.I also managed to have a light sandwich at a restaurant to tie me over until dinner.The best thing about today is that the sun was shining but the heat and humidity of the past several days was not happening.It was pretty cool.The sun also was not that hot either.It was a nice day.The errands were only small things that I had to do because we needed a few things for the home.Again,it was not too bad of a day and I got a lot accomplished.
Right now,I am at home relaxing.I just had a light dinner and I am feeling good.I am getting ready for tonight.I am going to be singing up a storm tonight.I do not know what I will do but I know that it will be special.I am hoping that the night goes well for me.Though I rarely,if ever,have an off night,I still always hope for everything to go well.You never know what might happen.I am thinking of trying something a little different with my singing tonight.I don't know what that something will be.But I hope that it works out for the better and the night is a success.
Tomorrow is Sunday.I have not made any plans but I hope that whatever I do,I hope that it is something that will benefit me.On Monday,I will be seeing a new counselor.I am hoping that the initial counseling session goes good.
That was my day today and my hoped for night tonight.Also,my hopes for tomorrow and the day after that.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better than yesterday.Today,I managed to get much of my computer work done with no problems.That was great.I did manage to get a lot done this morning before going to work this afternoon.I still have to do a little bit more before calling it a day.
Earlier tonight,I had a talk with an old friend that I had not talked to in a long time.It was great to talk to him.I talked with him for almost a whole 90 minutes.It was a great conversation that I had with him.We even made plans to get together in the near future.It would be truly neat to get together with him.We did talk about a lot of things.It would be neat to talk with face to face once again.
The work shift today went by smoothly.There was not a mess at the pick up site.The day went by well.For most of the day,the weather was HAZY,HOT & HUMID but it got stormy in the late afternoon.The sky started getting dark as I was driving home.I had to stop at the post office to mail out a couple of important checks to a couple of creditors.On the way home,it started out with light rain then it hailed when I was in the area where I live.I had to stop at Blockbuster to pick up another movie and I went to cash my paycheck.When I was at the bank,it was a torrential downpour that turned back into hail and back to torrential rain and thunder.I managed to make it home but I had to go back out to withdrawl some more money at the bank.When I arrived back home,I stayed home for a while to wait for the storm to end.When it did,I went out to get something to eat.
I am now at home relaxing.It is now a pretty cool evening.The storm did manage to help cool things down.I hope that this continues for a while.
Tomorrow night is my night to sing for the crowd.I am hoping the night goes well.It always makes me better appreciate when the weekend arrives.I always look forward to entertaining the crowd and it is the best thing about the weekend for me.
That was my day today and my hoped for night tomorrow night.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.The main contributor why I am feeling this way because I had computer issues for most of the day.I was trying to do my personal e-mail work but had some problems.While I was trying to advance into the next message in my inbox,I,every few seconds,got a "That Page Can Not Be Displayed" message and even after refreshing and getting it back,I got the same thing a few seconds later.Not only that,I also was replying to an Ebay message and when I signed out,I got 34 windows popping up.I do not know how that happened nor why it happened.But I managed to get rid of them all and I restarted my computer.To be on the safe side,I did a complete virus scan to see if there was anything in my computer data base that was not supposed to be there.Fortunately,my computer was clean of any threats such as viruses and spyware but I also restarted it again after not being able to connect to the internet.The best thing was that I managed to finish my personal e-mail work without any more problems.
The work shift today went by smoothly.But I was still tired due to the heat and humidity.It was even more HAZY,HOT & HUMID that it was yesterday.The temps went up to 93 degrees.The heat and humidity on the drive home made me tired.I also had to stop and pick something up on the way home.As a result of my tiredness when I got home,I layed down for much of the afternoon.It was kind of boring but it was HOT outside.I did not want to go anywhere nor did I feel like going anywhere.
I even managed to turn in some bottles and cans that had accumiliated in my trunk over the past several days.I was glad to get them out because there was a lot in there and I wanted to have more room for important things.It was a pretty good sum of money.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.I will be doing my usual singing for the crowd on Saturday night.I am hoping that the night goes well.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a very smooth pick-up day today.There was no big messes to clean,which made me feel better.I was afraid that there would be a big mess.But there was none.I am glad.For the rest of the afternoon,I stayed home and relaxed.There was nothing to do anyway.I relaxed and watched a little bit more of the DVD's that I bought.
It was a HAZY,HOT & HUMID day today.I was really sweating up pretty much as I was driving home after dropping off the laundry.Before I went home,I picked up something for the home and I relaxed for most of the afternoon.It was also very quiet today.I rarely ever have a quiet afternoon anymore.So,I savored this for a while.I enjoyed it pretty much.
Tonight,the group meeting at the church went great.We had a new guy join us for tonight's meeting.It was once again great to hear all the men tell their stories and have the opportunity to share mine.It was wonderful.It was great to relieve myself of a lot more excess emotional baggage.I am looking forward to the next meeting.
I had just gotten a phone call from a counselor in Williamsville.I have an appointment with her on Monday at 3:00p.m.I am looking forward to meeting with her.I hope that the meeting goes well.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes by well.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty smooth work day.The only thing was that it was unexpectedly cut in half today due to some of the work staff going to a special meeting this afternoon.I simply bagged what I had done and I dropped it off at the rehabilitation center and headed for home.
I was still a little tired.The shift went by smoothly but the heat and humidity on the way home was what tired me out.I simply laid down and watched some of the new DVD's that I bought yesterday.It was great to relax a bit after the day's work even though it was cut short.But still,I am still going to be paid a full work day because nobody told me that this was.
After I relaxed for a while,I went out to run an errand for mom.I had to withdrawl some money from her account on her behalf.After I got home,I ate and waited for the weather to cool down before finishing the day's errand.After that,I came home and bathed.I now feel a bit better.
Tomorrow is simply a pick-up day.I hope that there is no mess to clean.I have the rest of the afternoon off.Tomorrow night is another support group meeting at the church.I hope that the meeting goes well.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too eventful of a day today.I simply went out for some air earlier today around the town.I did manage to stop in a Dollar General store in the downtown area of the city that I live in and I picked up a three DVD set of Davey & Goliath cartoons that were in a bargain box.They were simply 2 for $6.00.There were three in there so I bought all three of them.I remember Davey & Goliath from when I was a little boy.I used to watch this on TV almost every morning before I went to school.In my area,this came on every other day in two parts and they would show it in it's entirety on Sunday.I was thrilled to add another piece of my childhood back into my life once again.I am also happy to have these in my ever growing DVD library.I can share them one day with my eldest grand niec when it is only her and not the other two.Again,it's great to have another piece of my childhood back into my life.
My grand nieces and my grand nephew were here for most of the afternoon.They were here for only a few hours.I simply did my computer work and stayed upstairs for much of the time until they left.I have nothing personal against them.I just needed some peace and quiet to myself.I was hoping for that this afternoon until this spur of the moment things came up.After my niece picked them up,my mom and I ate.While I was upstairs and later while I was eating,I did a scan on my computer to see if there was something in my data base but there was nothing.Thanks goodness that it was all clean.I only did this because there was an issue with my computer today.The screen simply froze and I had to unplug the computer and turn it back on again.I also had to restart it a few times to get it going right because I had a hard time connecting to the internet for a short time afterwards.Right now,my computer is working good and I am glad and relieved.
Tomorrow is a work day for me.I hope that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.I really did not do anything too special.I simply ran an errand for my mom today.I picked up a little something that we needed for dinner tonight.It was a light dinner that we had and it wasn't too special.But it was pretty good and the time was very quiet.
I also had a talk with a friend of mine that lives out of town and he is doing good.I am glad to hear that.I did talk about my two relapses this week and I explained that it was my emotional state of feeling at edge that led to the relapses.He felt that I was going to be okay and I should not worry too much about it.It did make me feel better.It was great to talk to him.
I am now at home relaxing.It is quiet at the moment.The weather has cooled down and I am feeling a bit more at ease.I guess that it is just anticipating the new week and wondering what is in store for the week.I know that I will be working and stuff but I still need to prepare and anticipate what will be and what won't be.Again,I am just getting ready for it to start.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went over well.There was not too many people out but I still had some to entertain.I sang up a storm last night and it was great.The crowd loved it and one lady even thanked me for doing a certain song for her.It made me feel good.I am looking forward to next week.I don't know how it will be.But I am hoping that it goes over well.
Tomorrow is a day off.I have nothing special planned.I really do not know what I will be doing.But I hope that whatever I do,it helps me in a positive way.
That was my day today and my night last night as well as my hopes for the next day.FJ