Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
The laundry pick-up went smoothly.There were no messes to clean up and I just picked the bags up and dropped them off at the work site.I sorted them out and I had lunch.
After lunch,I went onto the social club computer to print out an article about a particular program that lets me convert my computer into storing music and that I can transfer them to MP3 or onto CD's.It will take some time but I am willing to get that done when I can get the money together.
After lunch,I went to a local Dollar General store to pick up a couple of things.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I put my PJ's back on and before settling down to take a nap,I waited for the UPS delivery to drop off a smart antenna that I had ordered at Best Buy through their website.The antenna arrived and I decided to take a nap before hooking up the antenna alongside the DTV converter box so we can have digital TV going.
After my nap,I hooked everything up and at the moment,we are watching TV using the DTV converter box and the smart antenna and it is working beautifully.The only thing is that a local station didn't have a signal going yet.I am looking into getting an outdoor TV antenna to coincide with the indoor smart antenna so we can hopefully pick up more channels.At the moment,we can't afford cable or satellite so we have to settle for the basics.But it's better than nothing.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to do some catching up on some much needed last minute personal PC work.I am now all caught up.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I relapsed.I masturbated this morning with images running rampant through my mind.I know how I was when this happened.I was extremely tired.I didn't get enough sleep last night.I don't know what time I eventually got to sleep but I was still feeling sleepy when I got out of bed this morning.I asked the creator to forgive me for my sin and though I felt a little bit better,I still felt a little misery over it.I guess that I have to stop drinking coffee after a certain time.I believe that was the root cause of my lack of sleeping last night.That will be my resolution for now.Cut down on caffeine consumption,including not drinking it too close to sleep time.Starting now,I will drink no more coffee until the next day.
Tomorrow is a work day and I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
The work day was a bit hectic.Though doing my job went well,I had a run-in with a troublemaker.This is a guy who I have had run-ins with before.This guy loves to rub people the worng way and get under their gourds.Not only that,the worst part of this was I didn't get any justice from this incident.Fortunately for me,the work day was winding down and I didn't have to put up with this guy's baloney for long.After bagging everything and dropping it off,I headed for home.
When I got home,I immediately ran out again.I had to go and withdraw some money for my mom and myself.After that,I filled my gas tank because we are going to have a cold night tonight.I felt that it would be better for me to have a full tank so I will not have a tough time starting my 4X4 in the morning when I have to go and do the laundry pick-up tomorrow morning.
After filling my tank,I went to a nearby supermarket to buy a few things for the home and I headed back home where I am here to stay.
After eating,I finished my personal PC work and I also wrote a few e-mails.Before I started typing this,I heard from a friend of mine that one of his brothers passed away.He also told me that he was very shook up about it and while I was talking to him,he was really crying hard because he hadn't spoken to this particular older for quite a while because another brother of his lied to him that he was dead.This death came as a shock to him and after we talked for a few minutes,we hung up.Overall,a pretty fair day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,there has not been any problems.I guess that I have to keep busy with things so my mind isn't preoccupied with sex so much.I will just have to find new activities to do so I will not be thinking of sex so much.
As stated,tomorrow is a pick-up day and I am hoping that the pick up goes well.As for the rest of the day,I have really no plans except to simply go home and take it easy.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was my day off.I had a semi busy day.First,I dropped my mom off at a local supermarket so she could pick up a few things.After doing that,I went to my mechanic's garage to pay him the weekly money that I promised him.After paying him,I went and had a light but late lunch at a nearby Mighty Taco.It was a Nachos Deluxe and after I ate,I went to the supermarket to check and see if my mom was done shopping,which she was.
After dropping her off,I ran one last thing before settling down for the rest of the day.After that was done,I did some last minute personal computer work and I had a light dinner.
After eating,I decided to watch a few more videos over on the YouTube site and I also did some personal e-mail work.I also contacted someone regarding a problem that I am having with my trying to convert some vinyls that I have to MP3 format.I am hoping that I can get some answers from the people.I want to start some transfers and I am hoping that I can get the problem resolved.Overall,a semi busy day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had no problems today.Nothing really came into my mind.I guess that I need to keep myself busy a lot more so my mind is not preoccupied with anything having to do with sex.I just need towork on this a lot more.I am hoping that I can find some good coping methods alongside what I did today.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was a day where I wasn't so busy.But I did manage to get some important things done after I did my personal PC work.I had to pick up a few things that were needed for the home and I also had a light but late lunch at a nearby Taco Bell.After eating that,I went to the nearby Burger King to get a small milk because despite Taco Bell having milk on their menu,they didn't have it there to sell.But I got it and that was great.I headed straight home after that.
After getting home,I relaxed after making my bed and I listened to an old record of mine while relaxing.I ate a light dinner after that.
After eating,I decided to do some catching up on some much needed computer work.I also watched a couple of YouTube video on how to transfer music from vinyl and cassette tapes to MP3 and wav files.I did download the software called Audacity and I also put a Windows movie maker icon on my desktop so I can easily open it when I want to use it.I just need to get the necessary jacks and cables to transfer the music from my records and tapes so I can start burning them to CD's in the near future.I now have most of what I need for that and I am looking forward to making CD's out of some of my vinyl and tapes.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went great.It was a really great night for me.I had a blast and I also got quite a bit of positive responses from the crowd.It was an awesome night and I am looking forward to next Saturday night.
As for the rest of the night,I am thinking of going out and having a drink or two with the guys over at the place where I entertain.I am hoping for some great conversations with them.
As for my struggles with SSA,I had a couple of episodes.Last night,when I tried to go to sleep,I had a vision in my mind where a guy I used to know tried to make me admit that I was Gay and that he had already known and he wanted to hear it from me.I was also talking to myself denying this and all of a sudden,I started having an erection.I prayed hard to the creator to help me get rid of this vision and the immoral thoughts out of my mind.I prayed hard and I got up to use the bathroom and all of a sudden,the vision and the thoughts quickly died down.After I finished my prayers,I slept through the night with no problems.When I woke up this morning,I woke up with another erection and the immoral thoughts were starting to creep back.Since I had to get up,I took a walk downstairs and the erection along with immoral thoughts died down and faded.Though I didn't act out,I still had the thought racing through and though I did get rid of them and overcame them without any acting out,I have to be on guard when they do come back so I will know what to do when this happens again.
Tomorrow is my day off.I do have lots to do.I have to take my mom to a supermarket to do some shopping and I also have to go to my mechanic's garage to pay him the money that I have to go towards what I owe him for the repairs that he did on my 4X4.After that,I have no plans but whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my weekend and my hopes for the start of teh new week ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good but exhausted.I had a pretty busy day today.
Since today was a weekend day,I decided to do quite a lot.I went to a Best Buy store and I managed to get a store credit card so I could purchase a smart antenna for myself so I can have everything ready for the conversion to DTV.I have had the converter box for quite some time and I tried it out with an amplified antenna.There was just one problem.I could not get any signals from at least one TV station.I managed to get a lot of signals from 10 stations but couldn't get only one local channel.This really bummed me out.I have spent quite a bit of money for this conversion and I am still getting the short end of the stick.On Wednesday,after I do the laundry pick-up,I am going to have to return the amplified antenna because it just isn't the right one.I did specially order the special antenna that I need for the conversion and I am hoping that I don't need any more after this.The conversion box manufacturer assured me that I should be all set once I get it.I am hoping I don't need anything else.
After shopping at Best Buy,I stopped at a nearby supermarket to pick up a few things that my mom needed.I also managed to buy a couple of things for myself and I also put a few dollars in my gas tank.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I bathed to get cleaned up for tonight and I ate a light dinner.After eating,I caught up on some e-mails and I registered a few more bills that I got in change from the supermarket at the Where's George site.Overall,a pretty busy day.
Tonight is my night to entertain the crowd.I am hoping that the evening goes well for me.So far,since my return,it has been going well and I am glad that it has.I still hope for things to go smoothly because you never know what might happen.But I have a feeling that everything will work out.
Today,I had no problems regarding my SSA struggles.I am happy for that.I am hoping that I will have no problems tomorrow.
As for the rest of the weekend,I have made no plans but whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hops for the rest of the weekend.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.I did everything that my job entailed and I dropped everything off at the rehab center.After that,I headed straight home.
I only headed for home because my niece dropped off her share of the auto insurance money and I went home to pick it up so I could pay the insurance for the month.It is now paid for and I can take it easy for the rest of the month.
After paying the insurance,I went to my regular bank to cash my paycheck and I also bought a gallon of milk at the nearby supermarket.I headed back home after that and that is where I stayed for the rest of the day.
After I got home,I had a light dinner and I registered some bills at the Where's George site.It was a whole bunch that I had to register.I now have to stamp the bills before I can spend them.I also did some last minute personal PC work.
I am now relaxing and I am anticipating the start of the weekend.I am looking forward to entertaining the crowd tomorrow night.I am also hoping to get out and do some more personal shopping for myself,which will depend on how the weather is like tomorrow.If it is decent,I will go out and do the shopping.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation last night while I was in bed.I masturbated to images of naked men with erections.I did ask the creator to forgive me this morning because I had fallen asleep after I had done that.I do feel better and I am hoping that I can beat this habit of masturbating and this SSA that I have been struggling with most of my life.Please pray for me.Thanks.
As for the rest of the weekend,I haven't decided what I am going to do.But whatever I decide to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the start of the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shuft went smoothly.I simply did the work that I had to do in the time that I had and after I did my job,I dropped off the clean laundry at the rehab center.
On the way home,I had to stop at a couple of stores to pick up some things that my mom needed.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I put my PJ's back on and took a nap for about 2 hours.I was feeling sleepy.It was a pretty good sleep because I woke up refreshed and not so sleepy after I woke up.I then took it easy while waiting for dinner to get done.
After eating,I decided to finish my personal PC work.I also managed to take care of some personal business while I was online.It also didn't take me too long to get everything done that needed to get accomplished.Overall,a pretty good day.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,I haven't had much problems today.I did have a brief,but minor,episode.But I didn't give in and the nap that I took realy helped.I am glad that this didn't get worse where I would've acted out and felt regret after that.But I know that it can happen again.This is a symptom of the loneliness that I have because I really don't have too many people to talk to around where I am living.But I am hoping that I can get this problem resolved soon.I am still feeling hopeful and optimistic.
Today,weatherwise,it was windy and cold.But the wind chills were above freezing and we are getting another taste of wintry weather that I am hoping will be over soon.I know that it's winter and we do have to let nature run it's course.But it doesn't hurt to hope.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The laundry pick-up went smoothly.There were no messes to clean up and I simply carried the bags to my 4x4.After dropping them off and sorting the laundry out,I had lunch and went about my day.
The first thing that I had to do was to pick up a prescription for my mom at the local drug store.After that,I picked up a couple more things that were needed for the home at other stores.I also managed to fit in a visit to the local Salvation Army thrift shop and bought a few nice things.I headed for the hospital afterwards to see the medication manager.I wanted to make sure that I wasn't late.
Though I had to wait for over 45 minutes for the med manager at the hospital,the session went great.I simply told her what was going on with me and how my life was.After she made me another apointment in a couple weeks for a health screening,I left for home.
When I got there,I relaxed a bit and took it easy while waiting for dinner to get done.After I ate,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work.
I am now relaxing and I am awaiting the next day.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,I masturbated again earlier today.I was being tormented by images of naked me with erect penises and I also gave into temptation by visiting a Gay porn site just about a minute ago.Earlier,I asked the creator to forgive me and I felt better but I still need to find some support from my fellow men.If there is anyone out there who can give me any encouraging words or advice,please do so.I would greatly appreciate that.Thanks.
Tomorrow is a work day and I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
The work day went pretty well.I did have at least one minor mess to clean up when I was doing the pick-up.But I managed to get it all done and I dropped everything off at the rehab center before heading for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby drug store in the area of my work and I bought a few things that my mom wanted me to buy.I also went to a nearby Dollar Tree store and bought a few more things.I also went to see a friend of mine who had injured himself to see how he was doing.He said that he was hanging in there and that he is hoping to be feeling better soon.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home, I changed into a sweatsuit and I relaxed for a bit.At least,I tried to.
When I tried to relax,my SSA struggles started to creep back in.I wound up masturbating to images of naked men.This made me feel miserable.I want to beat this thing.I don't want to be attracted to men forever.I know that having sexual relationships with men is not going to give me the fulfillment that I need.If anyone has any ideas,I would like to know.Thanks.
After asking for forgiveness from the creator,I had dinner and I finished my personal PC work.It is now done.
I need to take my mind off sexual relationships with men.If anyone has any ideas,please share.Thanks.
Tomorrow is a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick-up goes smoothly.I also have an appointment with the medication manager at the local hospital and I am hoping that the session goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was my day off.I had a lot of ruuning around to do.I paid the water bill and I also mailed out my payment to the finance company that has a line of credit that I opened some time ago.After that,I went to my mechanic's garage to drop off a couple of CD's that I made for him.I also went to a local supermarket to buy a couple of things that my mom needed.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I hooked up the new DTV converter box that I bought yesterday at a local Target.It was just a test.Though I got a few channels in,I didn't get most of them.I did get one channel but the signal was lost and declared invalid.I unhooked the box and it is now back on regular TV.I did call the company that made the box and they simply told me that I need to buy a smart TV antenna for better reception.I did call Best Buy and they told me that there were none in stock and that they didn't know when they were going to get more into the store.I talked it over with my mom and we have to set aside some money when we can until we have enough money to buy one.We do have a long wait because the DTV conversion has now been pushed ahead to June 12th.So,we can just relax and take it easy for now.
After eating,I did some last minute personal PC work and I also watched an online video on YouTube.Overall,a pretty good day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation.I masturbated to images of nude men with erections.I was also talking to myself imagining that there were some guys in the room and that I was agreeing to perform sexual favors for them.I did ask the creator to forgive me for that sin and I felt better.I am still feeling hopeful and I am counting on myself beating this.But I still need help in dealing with the feelings and I also need help in how to effectively cope with them.If anyone has any answers,I would appreciate them.Thanks.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I had to run only one errand.It was to pick up a few things for my mom at a local supermarket.I also went to a nearby Dollar Tree store to buy a few more things.Before that,I went to a nearby Target to buy another DTV converter box for another television that I happen to own.After doing all of these things,I headed for home.
After I got home,I ate dinner and I also registered a few more bills at the Where's George site.I also did some last minute personal PC work.Overall,a pretty fair day.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went great.It was yet another awesome night.There was also a lot more people there and that motivated me to sing very enthusiastically.Overall,it was a wonderful night and I had a blast.I am looking forward to next Saturday night.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had a brief episode.I had images of nude men with erections swirling around in my head.I even tried to sit down in a chair in hopes that I could forget them.But I couldn't.I even manipulated my sexuality and I almost was at the point of orgasm when I stopped.While I didn't go all the way and masturbate like yesterday,I came pretty close to it.I also felt pretty miserable.I do want to beat this as I no longer want to feel sexually pulled to other men.The creator created man and woman and that is the natural law and order of things.I want to abide by this strict rule as the creator intended for us because that is the law.But I am having a terrible as well as a difficult time trying to resist the temptation to sin and act out on these unnatural and even selfish desires.I have to keep reminding myself that I am not a Gay man and that I am a Heterosexual man with a Homosexual problem.I need help.I keep calling out for help but I am not getting any answers to my calls.If anyone out there in the world reads this and wants to help me,I would really like that.Give me some answers please.Aside from what I wrote above,I have to keep remembering that the Homosexual condition is emotional and not sexual.I have emotional needs that I need to get met and I am not getting anywhere in meeting them in a healthy way.Again,I need help.If anyone reads this,please HELP ME!!!!!!Thanks.
For the rest of the night,I am thinking of going out and having a drink with guys and I am hoping that I can get some good conversations with them.When I get home,I might watch a movie.
Tomorrow is my day off.I do have lots to do tomorrow and I am hoping to get everything that I need to get done accomplished.I hope that everything during the day goes well.
That was my weekend and my hopes for the start of the new week ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
When I woke up in the early afternoon,I had a bowl of cereal and also got an unexpected phone call from a Christian counselor who I have confided in for a while.We talked for about 10 minutes and hung-up.I then began to do my personal PC work,which I finished in about an hour.
After that,I went out to run an errand for my mom.I went to a nearby supermarket to pick up a few more things for her.While there,I ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in 13 years.He was with his mother shopping and we talked for quite a while.He was here for a visit and he wanted to know how I was doing.We talked for a while before he went back to his mother and I headed for the checkout to pay for the groceries.
After coming home,I brought the groceries in the house and bathed for a while.I had to clean myself up because I am going out tonight to sing for my friends and I wanted to make sure that I was clean and neat for that tonight.After my bath,I ate a light dinner.
After eating,I registered a few more bills at the Where's George site and I did some more last minute personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Tonight,as stated,I am going to be singing for my friends and I am hoping that the evening goes well for me.Last week,my night of entertaining the crowd went great and I was warmly welcomed back into the place by an appreciative crowd.It was awesome.I am hoping for another awesome night and I am looking forward to singing again.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation and I masturbated.I did it last night while sitting in a chair.I felt so miserable after that and I asked the creator to forgive me.It was over images of nude men with erect penises.I just can't shake them loose.I want to shake them loose because I am getting sick and tired of masturbating to these images and also the way they keep clouding my mind.I am still feeling hopeful that I can.I just need the right level of support.I am not going to act out.I know that masturbation is considered acting out.But I don't want to act out with another man because the sexual activity associated with the Homosexual condition is wrong and inappropriate.The condition itself isn't sinful.It is just the activity that is sinful.I need to get some support and I also need to start to take an active role in seeking and nurturing healthy relationships with other men.I am hoping that I can start doing that soon.I am getting sick and tired of the emotional rut that I am in.If anyone out there has any ideas,I would like to know what they are.Thanks in advance.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the rest of the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.Despite a minor mess that I had to clean up doing the pick-up,the day went well.There was nothing really to gripe about.After my job was done,I bagged everything and dropped it off at the rehab center before heading for home.
On the way home,I went to the bank to cash my paycheck and to withdraw some money for my mom.After that,I went to do some more grocery shopping.It was to pick up a few more things that were needed.I headed straight home after that.
I dropped off the groceries at home and I also headed back out to drop some money off at my mechanic's garage.He was glad to have gotten the money.It was quite a lot.He thanked me for it and I headed back home.
When I got home,I had a hearty dinner and it was filling.After that,I decided to go and register some bills at the Where's George site.They are now all on there and I am glad that they are.I even had to write some of them on paper so I could register them later.I also did some last minute personal PC work.I still have a little bit more to do before I shut down for the night.
I am glad that the weekend is here.I am actually even happier that I am now singing again.I actually missed entertaining my friends every Saturday night.I am glad to have been there last week and I am looking forward to tomorrow night.Again,I am glad to be doing this again.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am still being plagued by images of nude men with erect penises.I almost manipulated my sexuality today as a result.But I managed to stop myself.But there is still the images.I am still feeling hopeful that I can overcome this.I know that I have to make some changes.I have stopped acting out on my desires and I am still working on avoiding pornography,especially Gay pornography.But I know that I do have to do a lot more.I still have to work on finding and forming healthy relationships with other males.I have given my phone number to practically every guy that I know to call me to talk but I have yet to hear from them.I guess that I have to try other areas.If anyone has any ideas and/or advice,please share.Thanks.
I am also still feeling the temptation of going to a pornography site and watching porn.But again,I am going to visit YouTube and watch a few more music videos and/or cartoons.I am hoping that the temptation dies down.
As stated,the weekend begins tomorrow and I am looking forward to tomorrow night.As for the rest of the weekend,I haven't made any plans but whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went by smoothly.There were no problems at all.The pick-up went surprisingly well and I managed to get a lot done.Not only that,the money that I was waiting on from my work place for repairs that my 4X4 needed to get it in great running condition also came in.I now have quite a bit of money to give my mechanic on Monday when I have to do some more running around.This is really going to help him.I can hardly wait to give it to him.Not only that,my 4X4 is running pretty good.I have had no problems with the BRAKE light coming on since my mechanic topped off my brake fluid reservoir with brake fluid.If I can go by until next Wednesday with no problems,COOL!
After I ate lunch,I dropped off the clean laundry and I headed for home.
On the way home,I had to make a stop along the way.I went to a local supermarket to buy a box of cereal for my mom.I also mailed a letter out that needed to be mailed out.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I rested up and I also finished my personal PC work.I also had a light dinner and decided to do some more last minute PC work before turning in for the night.
I had only one more errand to run before calling it a day.I had to go to a nearby drug store to buy something that I personally needed.My day is now complete.
I am now relaxing and anticipating the new day tomorrow.I don't know what to expect but I am hoping that everything goes good.
At the moment,regarding my SSA struggles,I am still feeling hopeful.I did have a brief,albiet minor,episode earlier this afternoon when I was trying to take a nap.An image of a naked man with an erection was clouding my mind and I also gave into the temptation to manipulate my sexuality but fortunately,I stopped before I was at the point of orgasm.I simply shook my head rigorously to rid myself of the image and the feelings associated with it.I slept for a little over an hour and I had no problems.I am hoping that I can stop myself from psychologically acting out in the near future.I don't want to start masturbating or even trying to track down someone who will let me act out with them.My goals are to simply find and have healthy same sex relationships where I can learn how to be a man,act as well as react like a man and just to be one of the men.I don't want anything sexual nor do I want to act out sexually with another man because it is not going to fulfill my needs any time soon nor will it give me the satisfaction that I need to feel like A MAN.I am hoping that anyone out there can help me.I am also getting tempted to visit a pornograpic site to see some guys act out sexually in a Homosexual/Gay manner.But instead,I am going to visit YouTube and watch some music videos to quench the temptation.Prayers and advice would be appreciated.Thanks in advance.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
The laundry pick-up went smoothly.There was no messes to clean up,which really made me feel good.After dropping off the laundry,sorting it out and having lunch at work,I headed for home.
On the way home,I had to stop at my mechanic's garage.I did this because my BRAKE light kept coming on while I was applying the brake while stopping or slowing down with it turning off after a few seconds of driving.On the way,I had to shift into park while waiting at a traffic light so I would not have to see that red colored light on the dash.When I got there,I told my mechanic and he topped off my brake fluid reservoir with brake fluid and I was on my way.
I also had to stop at the bank to withdraw some money for my mom so the water bill can be paid and I also withdrew some money for myself so I can pay the car insurance when it's due.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I put my PJ's back on and tried to take a nap.I slept for a little over 1/2 an hour before getting back up.I also relaxed on the bed and read while I listened to a little bit of music for a while before dinner.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work.I am now caught up and that is great.
Regarding SSA,I did have a brief episode.While laying down trying to take a nap,the images were creeping back in.It also made me want to manipulate my sexuality with the images.I did for a short time but I managed to stop myself.I still felt terrible about that but I am feeling better.I need to find some alternative ways of relaxation to try to get rid of the sexual images of men that creep up on me when I least expect them.I have also discovered that as a result of me not going out due to me not having a vehicle,my mind has been pretty preoccupied with sex,including where I am craving to act out and wanting to perform sexual favors for members of my own gender.I need to get my mind off of sex somehow.I also need to work on my emotional make-up,including my anger issues so I don't think about sex with other men so much.I need to keep remembering that men are brothers and that only real & Healthy male love is brotherly love with no sex included.I need to keep thinking of that and not on sex.If anyone out there has any ideas,please share.Thanks.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.I also have to go and pay the water bill for the month after work before heading for home.After that,I might just take it easy for the rest of the day.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
The work day went smoothly.It was actually a pretty quiet day on the job.As a result,the day went pretty fast.I simply did my job and when I was finished in the early afternoon,I bagged everything,dropped it off at the rehab center and headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket and bought a few things that were needed for home.I also went to a gas station and filled my gas tank up.Though I had 3/4 of a tank,I still wanted to fill it up because we are going to have a bitterly COLD!!!! night tonight and a bitterly COLD!!!! day tomorrow.That way,my 4X4 will start up in the morning faster.This morning,I had no problems starting her up,which was a relief.I was a little worried that it wouldn't.
When I got home,I relaxed for a bit and took it easy.I also watched a 30 minute documentary video on the history of Filmation animation.It was interesting to watch and very informative.
After eating a light dinner,I finished my personal PC work that I had started in the morning while on break at work.It was quite a lot and despite some issues,I got it done.
I am now relaxing at home and I am anticipating the next day.I am just hoping that tomorrow will be a very worthwhile day.
Regarding my SSA issues,they have been mild but I'm still feeling the feelings that I don't want to feel.I am also having piowerful cravings to act out on my desires but I am not going to do that.I have had some images creeping up on me in my mind and I was trying to manipulate my sexuality along with the images.I stopped before I could go too far.This is really bringing me down.The only reason why I don't talk about this with any of the counselors that I am currently seeing is because they will only tell me that it is who I am and what I am and I should just embrace the identity that I have and I will feel happier.But I can't do that.From all of the books that I have read,I have come too far in this process and returning to that way and/or pattern of living is like the dog returning to it's own vomit after it has expelled it out.I want to stay on the road to recovery.I want to overcome this dreaded SSA that I am struggling with and I know that acting out on my desires will NEVER get me the fulfillment that I need to feel like a man.If anyone out there has any advice for me,please share so I can get over this obstacle that I have been trying to get over for the past few years.Please help me,anyone out there.
Tomorrow is simply a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick-up ges smoothly.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty so-so day today.
Today was my day off.I simply woke up late and I had a bowl of Cheerios for breakfast.After that,I got dressed and I headed for my mechanic's garage to drop off his money for the week.
When I got there,my mechanic adjutsed the idle and he even cleaned the throttle choke off because it was really dirty.Since my 4X4 had been sitting for over a year,this was to be expected.But I am hoping that there are no problems with the starting mechanism tomorrow when I start the 4X4 up so it can warm up for a few minutes before I can drive it.
I also ran an errand for my mom.I picked up a bottle of pain reliever for her and I headed for the bank to withdraw some money for her.
When I got home,I ate dinner and I also went out again for my mom to drop off some money at one of her girlfriend's houses because my mom owed it to her.I also picked up a couple more things that my mom needed and I also managed to stop by a local Radio Shack to see of they had additional cables so I can hook up my VCR/DVD combo to the digital converter box that we have for the analog to digital transferance on February 17th.I have to hook that up the night before the 17th before I turn in for the night.That way,we will have TV on the day it goes all digital.I still have to get a converter box for another TV that I have so that way when I start using that,I will have it ready for the transferance.I didn't buy anything yet because I didn't have any money.But when I do,I will buy the cables that I need.
I am feeling okay.I have had only minimal problems with SSA today.But Ia m hoping to start getting what I need to help me overcome them.
Tomorrow is work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better that I have been feeling.I had a pretty fair day today.
First off,I ran a few errands.I had to pick up a few things for the home and I also picked up a couple of things for myself.It was really neat.The day was also wonderful weatherwise.It was warm and mild but there was still a little bit of a chill in the air.But I didn't let it stop me from enjoying the day or running the errands.I had a lot to run and I wanted to get them done.
The first thing that I did was that I had to buy a few food items for the home.I also bought a box of cereal for myself.After that,I bought a bag of zesty salsa tortilla Combos and a box of Sno-Caps.I headed straight home after that and that is where I stayed.
When I got home,I ate a light dinner and I also did some last minute personal PC work.It was a pretty fair day and I am glad to have gotten out and did some things.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went great.It was wonderful to be among my friends again after over two months of being away from them.I had a blast entertaining the crowd and they enjoyed the fact that I had returned.It was really awesome to be there and I am looking forward to next week.I am hoping that next Saturday night will be as wonderful as last night was.I feel much better now that I sang for my friends again.
As for the rest of the night,I am just going to stay home and take it easy.I will be going out to have a drink again on Sunday's with my friends starting next Sunday.For tonight,I am going to take it easy.
Despite all the things that I did,I still felt somewhat down.I suffered another relapse.I masturbated.It all started with me playing with my genitals and when I reached the moment of orgasm,I masturbated until ejaculation.I felt really depressed after that.Even after I asked the creator to forgive me,my feelings still didn't change.I still felt down and guilty for that.I am hoping that these feelings will disappear.I need prayers really desperately.I am hoping that people pray for me and hope that I am restored.I am sick of struggling with SSA alone and I would appreciate some support from people,especially from other men,out there.Please help me.Thanks.
Tomorrow is my day off.I hope that the day goes well.I do have to go to my mechanic's garage to pay him the money that I promised to pay him each week,which is the only thing on my agenda for tomorrow.
That was my weekend and my hopes for the start of the new week ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
I was out for quite a while today.I had errands to run.The first thing that I had to do was that I had to drop a letter off at someones house that was left at our house by mistake.I also dropped a birthday card off at my niece's house for my grand-nephew.The next few errands were personal.I picked up a prescription for my mom and I also bought myself a pair of new sneakers that I needed.The last thing was that I bought a minute card to add to my cell phone and a bottle of Rolaids.After that,I headed for home.
After I got home,I took a quick bath and I had a light dinner of chicken noodle soup and a turkey and cheese sandwich.After I ate,I finished my personal PC work and I also registered a few more bills at the Where's George site.I also had a talk with an old friend tonight before I took my bath.Overall,a pretty good day.
I can't believe that the weekend is here.I will be going out for the first time in many weeks.I haven't been out in ages.I will be singing my heart out tonight for the first time in a long time.I am hoping that the evening goes well for me.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans but whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
The work shift went well.I didn't have to much to do.After it was finished,I dropped everything off and I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at my regular bank and cashed my paycheck.I also withdrew some money for my mechanic to add to what I already owe him for the week and I headed for home after that.
When I got there,I waited for dinner to get ready.It was to be a light dinner of chicken and vegetables and it was pretty filling.After eating,I decided to finish my personal PC work and I also did some browsing for a while online.
I also had a short talk with my mechanic regarding the problems that I am having trying to start my 4X4.He simply told me to bring it in on Monday and he will check it out.I am hoping that it is nothing major where it will cost me even more money.
The day went pretty well.There is really nothing negative to talk about.
The only thing is that I am feeling really depressed.Yes I am.I have been feeling this way for the whole day.Don't get me wrong,I am feeling better because I have my 4X4 back on the road and I am driving.I am also looking forward to going out tomorrow night for the first time in a long time.But I am feeling sad and depressed.I don't know what it could be.I think that it has something to do with the SSA that I am still working on overcoming.I haven't had anothing sexual with a man in a long time and while I am feeling better because of me not acting out,I am also feeling the negative side of it.I do miss acting out on my desires but I do have to keep one thing in mind.I have to keep remembering that acting out sexually with another man is NOT nor will NEVER fulfill my same-sex needs.It is also NOT going to fill the emptiness that I feel.Sexual activity will only give me a temporary "FIX" that will wear off in time and I am back to the same old empty feeling that I had prior to the acting out.I need prayers really bad.If anyone out there can say a prayer for me.Please do so.Thanks.
I am glad that the weekend is finally here.I am looking forward to my comeback to singing on Saturday nights starting tomorrow night.I am hoping that the night goes well for me.
As for the rest of the weekend,I have not made any plans but whatever I do,I am hoping that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.I simply did the work that I had to do in the time that I had and I managed to get a lot done.After lunch,I dropped off all the clean laundry at the rehab center and I headed for home.
On the way home,I did a little bit of grocery shopping for my mom at a nearby supermarket.This only took me about ten minutes.After paying for the items,I headed straight home and that is where I stayed.
After getting home,I relaxed and finished my personal PC work.
Today,the weather was mild.I also did not have an awful lot of trouble trying to get out of the area where I parked my car.I did have to shift into 4 wheel drive to get out because the city snow plows really did plow me in.But I got out and that is all that matters.
After eating,I decided to do some last minute PC work before turning in for the night.
Despite this not being too bad of a day,I still had to contend with unwanted SSA.Images of men are still creeping into my mentality and really bringing me down.Though I haven't had anything sexual with a man in a long time,I am having cravings to engage in sexual contact with another man.The cravings are really strong.This has also made me crave/and to manipulate my sexuality as a result.I don't want to do that.I want to stop doing that.I also don't want to have anything sexual with a man.WHY?Because I know that having sex with another man is not going to bring any fulfillment of my same-sex needs.I also don't want to manipulate my own sexuality because this also is not going to make me connect with my lost maleness.Nor will masturbation,which I would like to stop as well,make me connect with my lost maleness,either.I have been calling out for help but nobody is replying.If anyone out there has any ideas on how I can control these impulses,I would like to know what they are so I can use them to see if they'll work for me.PLEASE HELP ME!!!!
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hopes for teh day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was simply a pick-up day.The pick-up went well but I had a chore getting to work to do the pick-up.The roads were really covered with lots of snow from the major snowfall that we had last night into today.There is lots of snow on the ground and as stated,I had a heck of a time getting to work because the drive was really treacherous.But I made it and I managed to to the job without a hitch and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a supermarket to pick up a few hoagie rolls for dinner tomorrow.I also manged to pick up a birthday card for my little grand-nephew.After paying for both of them,I headed straight home and that is where I am at.
When I got home,I shoveled the walk and I took a nap.I was feeling really tired and I really needed to take a snooze because I had a tough time getting to sleep last night.I don't know what it could be but I have a feeling that it is anxiety over my SSA and debating with myself whether or not I should go back to church or not.Alongside that,I also feel that since I haven't been out in a while,I need to get readjusted back into the spirit of things because my social life has really suffered as a result of me not going out in the length of time that I had been without a vehicle.But I know that I will be readjutsed back into the spirit of things and I also know that it will take time to get readjusted back into things.But I still need the support of people,including my fellow men,to get back into it.
I am now relaxing and taking it easy.I still have to go back out to shovel the walk again as a result of the constant snow fall that is happening.The snow is supposed to taper off around 11:00pm tonight.But we are also supposed to get windy weather overnight and that is going to put some more COLD temps in the forecast.But it's Winter and I have to expect these things and deal with them.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work day went by pretty well.It was also the first time in a long time that I did a laundry pick-up and drop off using my vehicle.It was awesome.I am slowly getting back to normal.
I also did some running around.I had to buy some more ice melting stuff and I also sprinkled some on our sidewalk as well as the porches and the steps.I also went out and bought myself some extra stuff for myself.It was pretty awesome.I had a pretty good day and it was great to be out in the community and enjoy myself.
When I was finally at home,I took it easy and waited for dinner to be ready.It was a light dinner of chicken nuggets,baked potato wedges and baked beans.It was a pretty good dinner and after that,I registered a few more bills at the Where's George website.I also did my personal PC work and watched several more classic Popeye shorts on YouTube.Overall,a pretty good day.
But I also have something to share that I am not proud of.I have been falling short lately and have been wrestling with images of men flooding my head.I also have been masturbating frequently.As a result,I have also been feeling mighty depressed as a result of these fallings.
It all started when I had my accident with my previous car.I crashed it accidentally and I also totaled it.For nearly two months,I was without a vehicle and I couldn't go out and sing for my friends nor be with them.As a result,visions of naked men with erections have flooded my head and I have also been talking to myself as if there was another guy in the room with me and I am agreeing to perform a sexual act,such as fellatio,on him.I have masturbated to these thoughts and cravings.I haven't had any contact with others as of late and I have been feeling miserable.I have been overwhelmed by all of this and I am feeling down as a result.I will NEVER accept the popular opinion that I was born Homosexual/Gay because I know that it was my environment that made me the way I am,including the sexual abuse that I endured when I was younger and all the physical,emotional and spiritual abuse that I have endured at the hands of my overbearring religious fanatic father.I am still feeling the effects of all of the abuse to this day and I really want to escape and move on.I have been trapped as of late in this SSA and I want to really get out.I want to break free and I want to do it rightly.I know that acting out these desires won't get me the fulfillment that I really need.I know that I need healthy same-sex relationships where I am truly accepted by other guys and also feeling and being them.I want to discover the joys of male bonding because I am a male.If anyone out there has any advice on how I can obtain this,please let me know.I will take whatever advice that is gven me and I will try to follow it and apply the best way that I can.Thanks in advance for any help.
Tomorrow is simply a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick-up goes well.We are also under a winter storm warning that is going to start at 11:00pm tonight with it expiring at 11:00pm tomorrow night.I am hoping that where I am living escapes the tale end of it and we don't get an awful lot of snow.
That was my day today,my hopes for the day tomorrow and what I have been too scared to share as of late on this blog.I am hoping that someone reads this and gives me some good advice.I am going to be needing it.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was my day off.I used the day to catch up on some things.First,I went to the local hospital to pick up a new script and the practitioner wants me to try a new medicine rather than the one that I am currently taking now.This is going to be interesting.I will be starting the new year with a new medication and I am hoping that things start to work out better for me.
After that,I went to a nearby post office to buy and mail out two money orders that I had to mail out.There were for payments on a couple of collectable records that I bought online and I promised to mail out the money orders this week.They are now mailed out and I can rest easy.
After that,I visited with my mechanic for a bit and I went to do some grocery shopping.They were things that were needed in the house and I am glad to have gotten them.I also bought some more ice melt for the steps of our house and I need to buy some more because we are supposed to get even more bitterly and very brisk COLD!!!! temperatures before the week is through.I am hoping that any store that I go to to buy it has some.We might be needing it before this winetr,which has been the WORST that we had in a long time is over with.
After eating,I finished my personal PC work.I can now take it easy for the rest of the night.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping the day goes well.
That was my day and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
The only thing that i did today was an errand that I had to run for my mom.It was to simply buy a few things that my mom needed for dinner tonight as well as a few batteries that were needed.It was the only thing that I had to do and since I had really no place else to go,I just thought that this would be the only thing to do and that I would stay home for the rest of the day.
On the way home from the supermarket,I stopped at a local drug store to pick up some salt,ice melting stuff and a bag of Combos.After I paid for these,I headed for home.
When I got home,I relaxed a bit and I also waited for dinner to get done.While I did that,I did some last minute personal PC work.I did most of that this morning when I woke up and after that,I did the shopping.
After eating,I did some more catching up on some personal PC work and now,I can rest easy for the rest of the night.
I also had a talk with one of the city council members who lives on my street.I told him about the street being extremely icy and slippery and he also told me that he sympathized with me.He also said that he felt that it sucked and he was trying to get the mayor to increase the snow plowing and ice removal on streets that really needed it but so far,it has been falling on deaf ears.I am hoping that this can be resolved soon.I hate it that the road on my street is extremely icy and slick and I really have to drive slow so I won't slip and crash into someone or somebody else's vehicle.
Tomorrow is my day off.I have an appointment at the local hospital tomorrow,which is with the practitioner and I also have to mail out a couple of money orders right away when I go to the post office on the way home.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,after doing my personal PC work,I went out to do some last minute grocery shopping for my mom.My mom needed these things for the rest of the month.We were going to go to another store but due to the icy weather conditions,we opted to go to another supermarket not too far away.I also managed to buy a birthday card for my grand-nephew and after buying all the groceries,I headed straight home and that is where I am for the night.
It is great to be driving again.I missed not having a vehicle for almost three months,not counting the brief times that I had it until more complications arose.But again,I am now happy that I am driving again and it will take some adjusting to but I will be back in the spirit of things within a few weeks.I am looking forward to getting my life back on track.
The minute that I got home,I relaxed for a bit and had a light dinner.I also registered a few more bills at the Where's George site and I also have plans for the rest of the weekend.I am going to do some last minute shopping for myself and taking it easy.
Since it is a bitterly COLD!!!! evening and because my mom is feeling under the weather,I am going to stay home just one more weekend night to keep an eye on her and I am hoping that the doctor can give her something to make her feel better when she goes to see him on Wednesday morning.Plus,I don't have much money either because I have to hold onto what I have because I have to send out a couple of money orders on Monday for some rare and collectable records that I am buying.I also have an appointment on Monday with the practitioner at the hospital and I am hoping that the session with her goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the rest of the weekend ahead,including the start of the new week ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.I simply did what little I had to do and I got it done in the length of time that I had.After completeing the shift,I headed for home by walking to the nearest transit center.
On the way home,I got off near my regular bank.I withdrew some money for my mom and I cashed my paycheck.After that,I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I got some surprising news.My mechanic called and told me that my 4X4 was ready and that I could pick it up anytime.I called my niece and she dropped me off at the garage so I could drive it home.Affter paying him the amount of money that I promised to pay him weekly,I drove straight home and that is where I am at.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work.While doing that,my mom and I waited for a food shipment to come in.It was late due to the bad roads because of this being the winter season but we got it.It is awesome that we have this in the house.I am just glad that we got a lot of meats and potatoes.
As for tomorrow,though I now have wheels,I am going to stay home just one more weekend to look after my mom who is still not feeling good.I am hoping that she is feeling better by next week.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.I simply did what I had to do in the time allotted.After I ate lunch,I headed straight home.I was feeling tired and I wanted to get home pretty quickly.
After I got there,I immediately changed back into pajamas and went back to bed.I was feeling tired and I felt that a nap could do me good.It did.I felt refreshed and well rested after I woke up.
After I ate a light dinner,which was leftover chicken and vegetables,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work before the day was through.I was also on YouTube for much of the afternoon watching some vintage Popeye cartoons that I haven't seen in years since I was a child.It was wonderful to see these shorts after all these years.I had a blast watching them and I look forward to watching some more in the near future.It was really neat seeing them.There are more that I haven't seen and I am saving those for a future date.Since it has been bitterly COLD!!!! outside with nothing to do and no place to go as a result of me not having a car,I felt that this is a great way to fill in time until my 4X4 is fixed and back on the road.I am hoping that it is back on the road soon.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I had lots of running around to do.First,I had to go to the local drug store to pick up a prescription that was prepared for me in advance of my next appointment with a practitioner at the local hospital.After getting home,I picked up a check that my mom made out and I went out to cash the check because we needed groceries in the house really bad because we were running low on food.
Before I went grocery shopping,I stopped at a nearby Taco Bell and had triple decker nachos for lunch.I went to the nearby supermarket after that to do the shopping.
Fortunately for me,the store had everything that I was looking for and I really didn't have to look that hard.But when I was done,it was quite a lot and I had to take a taxi cab home to get all of those groceries home.
The minute that I got home,I relaxed a bit as I awaited dinner to get done.It was a light dinner of chicken,potatoes and vegetables and it was filling.It was also wonderful to get all of that done and feel great.
I am now relaxing and I am anticipating the next day.Tomorrow is going to be a busy day for me.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.I had a pretty up and down day today.
The work day went by pretty well.I simply did what I had to do in the time that I had and I got quite a bit done.After I was done,I left.
The frustrating thing that had happened to me today was trying to get the hospital to give me a back-up prescription for my medication that I am currently taking.I have only one pill left and I needed to get more to keep me good until my appointment on Monday at the hospital's mental clinic.For the whole day,I was trying to get some answers but I kepy getting the story that it wasn't in at the moment.I even called the hospital and they told me that they wouldn't be able to do until tomorrow.But I did get a call from the drug store today and they told me that it was ready and I told them that I would pick it up tomorrow.
I relaxed for a bit after that and I had a light dinner my rest.Overall,a pretty up and down day.
Tomorrow,I will be picking up my medicine and I will also be running an errand for my mom.I need to pick up some stuff at the supermarket that we need for the home and it will be a lot.It is my day off and I hope that I can get everything that is needed.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was a holiday and I managed to get everything that I needed to get done accomplished.Firstly,I stopped over at my mechanic's garage and dropped off the money that I promised him and I also gave him a CD that I made for him.He was pretty greatful for that.He even thanked me for dropping off the money that I had promised him and now,he said that he was going to work on getting the radiator that my 4X4 needs so I can start driving it again.I have been missing out on a lot of things lately as a result of me not having a vehicle.The minute that I start driving again,I am going to work on being more courteous,considerate and careful of other drivers.After what had happened to me back in November,I need to work on that.I don't want that to happen to me again.
I also managed to get a lift home from my mechanic's step-daughter.On the way home,we stopped at a Dollar General store so I could pick up some hot cereal for breakfast.I picked up three boxes so we will have plenty to last us for a while.
After I was dropped off at home,I shoveled the walk because the walk really needed it.It was really coated with snow.It is now shoveled and I relaxed for the rest of the time.Iverall,a pretty good day,
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty uneventful day today.
The only things that I did was that I ran a couple of errands that I needed to run.I picked up another prescription for my mom and I also went to a local supermarket to pick up a roasted chicken for dinner.I also bought a box of cereal and a bottle of pain relievers for her.After paying for the items,I called a taxi to go home.
After I got home,we ate.It was pretty good.I didn't want to eat too much so after I ate a few bits,I decided to get up from the table and burn a CD for my mechanic.I am going to give it to him tomorrow while I drop off some money for him.It is money that is owed him for repairs that he has done and money for a part that I need for my 4X4 so he can fix it.I am hoping that my vehicle can be fixed pretty soon and I will be driving soon.I miss driving and I miss going out to entertain my friends.But I am hanging in there and I am hoping that this can be resolved soon.
Before I did any of these errands,I had a light breakfast and I did my personal PC work.It was quite a bit and I am glad that I got it done.
I am now at home relaxing and taking it easy.I am anticipating the next day.I have lots of running around to do tomorrow and I am hoping that I can get everything that I need to get done accomplished.It will take a bit of doing becuase tomorrow is a holiday.The bus service is going to run on a Saturday schedule as a result of the holiday.But if I get it accomplished,I will feel much better.
Tomorrow is my usual day off but it will be a holiday.I am hoping that everything works out for the better tomorrow.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling alright with some depression.I had a not too eventful day today.
I started out the day by eating a light breakfast and I did my personal PC work.I overslept due to me not getting to bed at the time that I wanted to.Still,I had a pretty good nights sleep and that was good.
After finishing my work,I went out to run a small errand to pick up a few things.These were things that were needed.It was a chore just getting to the store but I made it there and made it back.It was bitterly COLD!!!! and the wind was blowing snow all over the place and with new snow falling,it was really tough seeing where I was going,but I managed.I am just trying to get by the best way that I can until I start driving again.
When I got home,I heated up some leftover pizza in the microwave for dinner and I relaxed and watched an episode of The Red Green Show on DVD.Overall,a pretty uneventful day but I managed to get an errand done.
My mom is still feeling under the weather.She is still feeling the aches and paind that she contracted yesterday.I am hoping that she is feeling better soon.I did call my sister who lives locally in the city and I am hoping to hear from her soon.
As I stated yesterday,I am staying home as a result of me not having a vehicle as well as no money due to it going to my mechanic.But I am hoping to have it back on the road soon.As for tomorrow,my plans are to simply stay home and take it easy.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.I had simply did my job in the time alloted and I did what I had to do.After I was finished,I headed for the nearby transit center.I had just caught the bus as I was nearing it.
On the way home,after getting off,I stopped at my regular bank to cash my paycheck.I also had to withdraw some money so I could add to the money that I am saving for my radiator.I now have the full amount and on Monday,I will be heading over to my mechanic's garage to pay him for it.
When I got home,I relaxed for a bit and I had a bowl of soup for dinner.I also did my personal PC work and it is all finished.I have been at home since I got here and I am stayin here due to the extreme COLD!!!! that we are having at the moment.The temperature is 9 with a wind chill of -17 below.According to the National Weather Service,we are supposed to be gradually warming up starting this weekend.I hope so.This COLD!!!! weather,though it has been only 3 days,has been pretty dull and depressing.This is the coldest that we have ever been in quite a while.It has been feeling like 1977 all over again.I am hoping that the weekend will bring a warmup.I need to go and get some more milk because I am running out.
I am now at home relaxing.I am just going to pop a movie in and enjoy it before I turn in.
Since I still have no car,I am staying home this weekend.I am hoping that my 4X4 will be back on the road soon.
That was my day today and my hopes for the start of the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.I had a pretty fair day today.
The work shift,though smooth,was over an hour early so staff could attend a special holiday brunch somewhere.I simply did my job in the time alloted and I left.I was fortunate to catch a bus as I was heading for the nearby transit center.I boarded the bus and headed for home.
When I got off,I stopped at a local pizzeria and bought myself a home made taco for lunch.I ate it the minute that I got home and after that,I watched the movie Lost in America,which stars Albert Brooks and Julie Hagerty.After that,I decided to go to bed and take a nap for an hour.
But I had problems when I tried to do that.I wound up having more visions of other men and having sex with them.I wound up masturbating to these images and I felt miserable.After asking the creator for forgiveness,I fell asleep.I need to start getting back into the spirit of things.I know that it will still be a long time before I get my 4X4 back on the road but when it is,I am going to start going back out again.I am hoping that in time,my need to be around my friends will be great to get me back on my feet again.
At the moment,my mom is not feeling well.She is having an earache.I am hoping that she will be feeling better soon.I will be praying really hard tonight and I am hoping that she will be feeling better soon.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,the weather was very COLD!!!! with wind chill factors in the minus double digits.But I didn't let it hinder my plans.I wore my long winter underwear and it gave me some warmth along with my regular underwear.I paid my auto insurance bill and I also paid my mechanic the money that I promised him.After that,I did some personal shopping that I needed to do for myself.I had to pick up a few things at the local K-Mart.I walked all the way to the nearby transit center to take a bus to the post office so I could mail out my payment for the line of credit account that I have with another finance company.The last thing that I needed to do was that I had to do some grocery shopping for my mom and that was last on my agenda.I also managed to buy a couple of important things at a nearby Dollar Tree store.I took a taxi cab home and after I got there,I stayed home.It was a bitterly COLD!!!! day but I managed to get everything that I needed to do accomplished and I am glad for that.I am hoping that by the end of the week,I will have the money that I need for the radiator for my 4X4 and I will be driving again.At the moment,I am just trying to get by the best way that I know how.So far,I have been getting things accomplished despite the circumstances that I am in.That is making me feel better.
I am now relaxing and taking it easy.I am also anticipating the next day and I am hoping that the day goes well.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty roller coaster day today.
The work day was pretty frustrating.The frustrating thing was that I couldn't get a ride to help with the laundry pick-up for most of the morning.I had to wait until after lunch.But I did manage to do a little bit of laundry and after that,I headed for home.
When I got home,I dropped off most of my stuff and I decided to go to a nearby Target store to pick up a few things.I had to buy two pairs of long thermal underwear and a couple of other things that I needed.I have to be prepare for tomorrow because we are going to be in a real deep freeze that will be going on until Friday.According to the National Weather Service,we are going to have very bitter wind chills in the minus single to double digits with temps at an all time low.I had to buy the long underwear to prepare for this because I have a lot of walking to do.I have to pay my insurance bill,pay my mechanic the money that I owe him for the week and I also have to mail out my payment to the finance company that holds a line of credit in my name.I will have a lot to do tomorrow and I will be glad to get them all accomplished.It will be tough with the bitterly COLD weather but I have to do it all.Not only that,I am also hoping that my mom and I can get our grocery shopping done tomorrow as well.Because on Thursday,I don't want to go anywhere or do anything.Since it's going to be cold,I just want to stay home and relax and just let the COLD weather dominate the outside.I really don't have any place to go since I don't have a car at the moment.
Tomorrow is a day off and I have lots of plans that I am hoping to get accomplished despite the cold.I am hoping that I can get them done.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
I didn't get to go to the post office today.I simply went to a local store to pick up a couple of half gallons of milk.I needed them for the house and I just went in and bought them.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
After I got home,I decided to finish my personal PC work.It took some doing but I managed to get it done.There were issues with my internet server and I had to restart my computer three times to get the issues resolved.I also ate dinner while waiting for my computer to complete the restart process.
Tonight,my mom and I had pepperoni pizza for dinner.We ordered it and it was delivered.It was delicious.I had a few slices and the rest is going to be kept for lunch for me at the end of the week.Overall,a pretty fair day.
I am now relaxing and I am anticipating the next day.It is going to be a snowy day weatherwise tomorrow and I need to be prepared.We are also going to have a bitterly COLD week for the rest of the week.It will be tough but I am hoping to get through it.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today was Sunday and I really didn't have too much to do day.I am feeling very bored,depressed and lonesome.Since I haven't had a car for a very long time,I haven't gone out and I haven't been able to do a lot of things since I haven't had my vehicle on the road.Not only that,I have been masturbating so much,it's insane.I don't know whether I am coming or going.I am also feeling like I am at my wits end.I need help really bad and I am feeling so lonesome that I really don't knw how I can resolve this until I have my car running on the street.Plus,the weather has been pretty treacherous with snow and ice everywhere on the road.It has also been cold and I am am also getting sick and tired of staying home.I want to go out and I want to enjoy my life.I have been so bored just staying home and watching one movie after another.I am just hoping that my vehicle will be back on the road soon.I just can't take this anymore.Please someone say some prayers for me.Thanks.
My SSA has skyrocketed.I have been thinking of images of men and their genitals lately.This is what has been making me masturbate.I don't want to think of these things anymore.I don't want to have sex with any man.I don't want to act out.I have been masturbating so much that it seems that I can't beat it.I am hoping that someone out there can give me some helpful advice.Thanks in advance for any helpful advice given.
After eating a light dinner,I did some last minute catching up on some personal PC work.I can now relax and take it easy for the rest of the evening.
Tomorrow is my day off.I am hoping that the day goes well.I have to drop off some money at my mechanic's garage tomorrow and I also have to mail out a payment to a finance company so they will get my payment before the end of next week.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was the start of another weekend.It started out pretty typically.I woke up and had a light breakfast and I did some of my personal PC work.I finished it after running an errand for my mom.
Today,the weather was COLD and snowy.There was some ice and snow on the ground and though it made the walk a little more difficult,I managed to make it to my destination.I finished the errand and I also turned in some bottles that I had found on the way.I walked home after that and that is where I stayed.I have no place to go since I don't have a vehicle at the moment but I am managing.I am still holding onto the hope that I will have a vehicle on the road soon.
After eating a light dinner,I finished my personal PC work.It took a bit of doing but I managed to get it done.I managed to get onto my Yahoo e-mail account and I managed to finish that off.There was a minor issue with my internet server but again,I got it done and that was great.
As I stated last night,I am staying home again tonight due to me lacking a car at the moment.But again,I am still hoping to have it back on the raod very soon.
As for tomorrow,I am not making any plans but whatever I do,I hope that it benefits me in a positive manner.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.I did a little bit in the time allotted.After doing my job,I headed for home.
On the way home by bus,I went to my regular bank to cash my paycheck and I also bought a few things at the store for dinner tonight.Because of all that I had,I took a cab home and that is where I stayed for the rest of the day.
Before eating,I took a nap for about an hour.I was feeling tired and I felt that I needed.After that,I ate dinner,which was a submarine sandwich.
I also decided to do some much needed catching up on personal PC work.I am at the moment having a hard time trying to access my Yahoo e-mail account.Each and every time I have tried to get into it,I kept getting the screen freeze and the reboot.I am hoping that this doesn't continue because I have to e-mail a friend of mine who lives in California.I am hoping that this is resolved soon.For now,I will just have to use my other e-mail accounts until I can get into my Yahoo account.
I have just gotten the news that another winter storm is in the forecast for the weekend.I am hoping that it isn't that bad.If it is,I will have to be careful when doing my errands for tomorrow.I have to pick up a prescription for my mom tomorrow at the local drug store.Tomorrow,if it is storming,I will have to be careful going there and coming home.But I know that I will manage.
I will be staying home again tomorrow night as a result of me not having a car.OH WELL!
That was my day today and my plans for the day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.I simply did what I had to do in the period of time allotted and I got it done.After the shift was over,I had lunch and I headed for home.
When I got home,I simply went back to bed and took a nap.I was feeling tired and I felt that a nap would do me a world of good.I had a tough time getting to sleep last night but I managed to fall asleep.
I did have one major fall.While trying to take my nap,I had images flying in my head of men in a sexual way.I tried to get rid of them,but I couldn't.I wound up manipulating myself sexually and masturbating.Though I did ask to be forgiven afterwards,I still felt miserable.The nap that I took made me feel better afterwards but still,I felt miserable for a while after that.I am hoping that anyone out there can help me out regarding this.
After my nap,I decided to finish my personal PC work.I had a hard time trying to finish it due to server issues.As a result of that,I had to restart the computer as a way of trying to get the server issues resolved.It is now working better and I am hoping that I have no more issues for a long time.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to relax a bit and take it easy in my room.At the moment,I have no particular place to go because the weather is bitterly COLD!!!! with snow blowing and drifting.But I am hoping that this streak of weather ends soon.
I am now relaxing at home and I am hoping that the next day will be better.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes as well as today's did.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty busy day today.
Since I had the day off,I went to the post office today to send out important letters.These letters were bills that needed to be paid.Now that they are on the way to their destination,we can now rest easy and hopefully,everything will take care of itself.Before heading over to the post office,I had to go to my regular bank to payoff my line of credit account with them.On Friday,I will be talking with them to close it off.After that,I'll have one less bill to worry about.I still have a Sears credit card bill and another line of credit that I am also paying monthly on.But I only pay when I use the Sears credit card for purchases.I pay no annual fees,which is good.
On the way home,I stopped at a local drug store to pick up 2 rolls of toilet tissue and a bottle of nighttime pain pills that my mom needed.Overall,it was a pretty busy day and I am glad to have gotten the things done that I needed to get done.
The only drawback was the nasty weather that we had today.We had sleet and freezing rain and I had a hard time walking on the streets as a result.I had to really walk slow so I wouldn't slip.I managed to make it to my destinations and home,but it was really difficult.I am hoping that the weather does ease up soon.I would hate for this to keep on going.I know that it's winter and I do have to expect these things.But still,I am just hoping that the conditions do indeed improve and I am also hoping that we do get a thaw that usually comes in January.When I did get home,I chose to stay there and I took a nap when I got home.
After having a light dinner,I decided to do some last minute catching up on my personal PC work.That is now done and I can take it easy for the rest of the evening and get ready for work in the morning.
As stated,tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work day went smoothly.I simply did what I had to do in the time alloted and I also got to drop off some clean laundry and also picked up some dirty.After I dropped off the dirty laundry and sorted it out,I headed for a bus stop to catch a bus to go home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local drug store to pick up a few personal things and I also dropped a couple of newspapers off at a house.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I checked with the garage to see if they had checked my 4X4 as to what was causing the anti-freeze leak and they hadn't.But tonight,I heard from my mechanic and he said that it was the radiator.I will have to get the money together for that and though it will take me a while,it is better for me to get that part replaced and also,get the ball joint fixed.My mechanic offered to get the radiator replaced first but I told him that it would be better for him to fix the ball joint since the part was there already.I also advised him to wait until I get the money together and then,order the part.I will have to wait a little while longer but oh well.That is life when you own a car/truck or any type of vehicle.
It took me a while but I got my personal PC work done.I also had to deal with some issues regarding the server but I managed to get it done.I feel that I have accomplished something here.
Tomorrow is my day off.I have lots of personal stuff to do and I am hoping to get it done in one day.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was my day off.I had quite a bit to do today.First,I had a light breakfast and I went out to drop off the money that I promised my mechanic.I also had the CD that I made for him and I figured that now was the right time to give it to him now that he was home.He thanked me for teh CD and he told me that he hoped to get around to seeing what the problem was with my 4X4 tonight,but he also told me that he couldn't promise anything.I told him "Okay" and I left for home.
After I got home,I simply told my mom what my mechanic said and that he is hoping to get around to checking it out later tonight.After doing that,I relaxed on my bed and put a record album on.I have been doing this to see what I feel that my mechanic would like.I am hoping that he enjoys the CD that I made for him.I will be making another one for him during the week when I have the time and as always,I hope that he enjoys it,too.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to finish my personal PC work.I started it today and went to my mechanic's garage to drop off the money and the CD.I finished it tonight despite a minor issue with the internet server.But I am glad to have gotten it done.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and myu hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was a pretty dull day.But I did manage to get out and do something.The only thing that I did was that I went to a nearby drug store to pick up a few things that my mom needed.It was quite a bit of things.But I managed to get it all in one day.I also picked up a few things for myself and that was great.After paying for them,I called a taxi cab to go home because it was quite a lot of things and the bags were heavy.Plus,my mom felt that I would be a target for robbers and thieves.After I got home,I ate dinner and I relaxed for a bit.
On the way to the store,I almost was the target of an inconsiderate driver in a Ford Explorer.I was waiting to cross the street while climbing up a small mountain of snow,the driver drove through an All-Way Stop sign and didn't even bother to stop.This really scared me.Fortunately,I hesitated crossing because I probably would have been hit by that driver if I didn't do that.The only positive thing to happen was that I ran into a lady that I graduated with 18 years ago.She told me that she was doing fine and asked me how I was.I answered the same.I then did my shopping.
After eating,I decided to do some CD recording for my mechanic.I was hoping to do 2 of them but only wound up doing 1.I will be taking this to my mechanic tomorrow and I hope that he enjoys it.I also had a talk with a friend of mine who lives out of town and that was a great conversation.
I also have some confessions to make.I have been hiding some stuff from here.It is regarding my struggles with SSA.I have been hiding things that I should be confessing.
I have been falling into sin as of late.I have been scoping up Gay pornography and looking at pictures of naked men and I have also had lustful thoughts of other men.I have also manipulated my own sexuality and masturbated at the point where I was almost at an orgasm until the ejaculation happened.I did regret this but ever since I have had no vehicle as a result of the non-stop repair work.On Tuesday,my joy turned to depression when I had to have my 4X4 towed back to the garage as a result of an anti-freeze leak.I feel that if my mechanic's assistant fixed that ball joint problem,he would have noticed the leak and informed me of it.I had to learn about it while driving it.This really made me angry.All of that anger transformed into me having lustful thoughts and I have been falling into sin and regreting it later.I need help and I need some prayers.If anyone out there is readingthis,please say some prayers for me so I will not fall again.I am also hoping that my 4X4 will be ready by next week.I miss my friends and I miss going out and having fun.Again,please say some prayers for me.Thanks in advance.
Tomorrow is my day off.I do have to drop off some money tomorrow at my mechanic's garage alongside the CD that I made for him.I hope that everything goes well for me tomorrow.
That was my day today and my hopes for the start of the new week ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
I really didn't do too much of anything.There wasn't anything for me to do.I simply started out the day by having a light breakfast and doing my personal PC work.It was quite a bit and I managed to get it done despite an issue with the server.I also watched some Popeye cartoons online over at YouTube and that was wonderful.
After shutting down,I simply watched a little bit of TV and I relaxed a bit.During this time,my mom and I talked about what we wanted to eat for dinner tonight.Initially,we wanted to buy a small submarine sandwich for each of us.But we decided to get a couple cans of soup instead.
The weather was cold but not as cold as it has been lately.The walk down to the store was a nice one and the sidewalks and streets were not that slippery.We are now having less snow than we had when we had that big powerful blizzard just as the first day of Winter was coming around.After I came home,my mom heated up the soup and we ate.We also had a couple slices of garlic toast as a side dish.
After eating,I relaxed on my bed while listening to some music.Tomorrow afternoon,after I am done running an errand for my mom,I am going to make a couple more CD's for my mechanic.I will also be dropping them off on Monday when I drop off some money.
I will be staying home again tonight as a result of me not having a car.But hopefully,I will have my 4X4 next week.
Tomorrow,I am just going to stay home and take it easy.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The holiday season of 2008 is officially over.I returned to work today after the holiday and it went very smoothly.I simply did what I had to do in the short allotment of time that I had and after I was finished,I left to go to the nearby transit center for the bus.It took a while but it got there and when I got on,I was glad to be heading for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to cash my paycheck and to withdraw some money for my mom.After that,which only took a few minutes,I headed straight home and didn't stop for anything except that I had to use the restroom at a nearby Burger King.
When I got home,I took it easy for a while and I had a light dinner.I also relaxed for a bit on my bed and listened to some music.It was a pretty good day today and I had some great talks with some of the people over at the nearby social club.It was also very quiet there with nobody there to make any trouble with anyone.I actually enjoyed the day there and I had a pretty good lunch period.
I am now relaxing.I have really nothing else to do.I am just going to relax for the rest of the night and take it easy.I might just watch a movie before going to bed.
As for the weekend,I will be staying home again since I have no car.But on Monday,I will be going to the garage to drop some money off and I am hoping that they will be working on my car when I get there.
That was my day today and my plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Happy New Year,Everybody!!!!
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
Since I had the day off from work due to the holiday,I decided to stay home and take it easy.I simply listened to a little bit of music and I watched a few movies.There really wasn't an awful lot for me to do today.I felt that I should just relax for the day and save some of my energy for tomorrow when I return to work.The only drawback is that New Year's Day wasn't on a Friday.But we just have to accept reality as it is.But there is the upcoming weekend so I can take it easy then and eagerly await my mechanic to start working on my 4X4 when he gets back to the garage.I am hoping that it doesn't need anything major to fix the anti-freeze leak.I already know that a ball joint needs to be put on but again,I am hoping that it doesn't need anything major to fix the anti-freeze leak.
After eating dinner,I went out of the house to shovel the walk and free up some snow for the mail person to come tomorrow to leave the mail.I am eagerly awaiting the arrival of a Buffalo Sabres calendar to come in.It is the new 2009 edition.I was looking online for this.Most of the places were out but I found one on Amazon.com and it is on the way to me.I hope that I get this soon.
After shovelling the walk,I decided to do some catching up on some much needed personal PC work.
As stated,tomorrow is back to work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hopes for the dat ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too eventful of a day today.
Today,I only an a small errand for myself.I mailed out a credit card payment for the month ahead of time because it was due on Tuesday.I am glad to get that out and I am also happy that I got that accomplished.After I made a small purchase at a convienience store,I boarded a bus after a long 25 minute wait and headed for home.The weather today was extremely COLD!!!!!!
I had to make one more stop on the way.I went to a beverages store to pick up a 6-pack of non-alcoholic beer for tonight at the stroke of midnight.Since I am staying home tonight,I feel that I should make the best of it.I simply bought something to celebrate with at home and after it is the new year,I will put a movie in the DVD player and watch it.Since I don't have to get up in the morning due to the New Year holiday,I can stay up longer and watch a good movie.I will be sleeping in tomorrow morning.
I have to admit that I do miss being with my friends.I have had this feeling since I haven't had a vehicle.Yesterday,I had it and I was driving but I had to have it towed back to the shop due to an anti-freeze leak.But I am hoping to have it back by next week so I can get my life back on track and I can start going out and having fun again singing for my friends.I do miss singing for them and I do miss being around them in general.Again,I am hoping that by next week,I will have my 4X4 back on the road and get my life back on track.
Tomorrow is a day off due to it being a holiday.I am just going to take it easy.After tomorrow,the holiday season of 2008 will be officially over.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.I had a pretty stressful day today.
The work day went by smoothly.I did everything that I needed to do in the amount of time that I had and when I was done,I dropped the laundry off at the rehab center.I also had to run an errand for my mom while I was out.I had to pick up a couple of boxes of hot cereal for her.
While the work day went smoothly,some of the day didn't go so smoothly.One of the things to happen today was an incident at the social club.One of the social club members was ranting and raving like a crazed maniac.He also shouted that he wanted to kill Olympic Gold Medal swimmer Michael Phelps.This threat was taken seriously and the local Police special task force arrived on the scene to take care of the situation as well as resolve it and make sure nobody else got hurt.Apparently,the situation worked out where the guy was taken to the local hospital's mental ward for a psychiatric evaluation and to see how they can adjust his medication.This was a very scary situation and everyone around had the daylights scared out of them.I also was scared and even when the situation was resolved,I still felt tensed up because of it.I was just glad to get out of there and finish up my job.
When I was running the errand,I ran into some trouble.I discovered that I had an anti-freeze leak.I discovered this when I was reversing out of the parking lot and I saw white smoke coming from my engine.I opened up the hood and saw that there was a lot of smoke and I smelled anti-freeze while I was waiting for the tow truck getting all the stuff that I needed to get out of my 4X4 so I could take a bus home.After the tow truck came,I hopped a bus to a nearby transit and transfered to another bus to go home.Overall,what a day.
I am now at home relaxing and awaiting the next day.Since there will be no laundry pick up tomorrow as a result of me not having a vehicle,I will have to go to a local post office to mail out an important credit card payment.After that,I will just have to stay home and take it easy.For the first time in 9 years,I will be ringing in the new year at home.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was my day off and I went to the garage to drop off some money at the garage.It went really well.Though the ball joint is not on my 4X4 as of yet,I decided to drive it since there is hardly any snow and icy patches on the road.I now have it and I am only feeling slightly better.Still,I wished that the lone mechanic at the garage would have fixed the ball joint for me so I wouldn't have to worry about the steering problems.But I have to endure this until the boss gets back from his vacation.
I am only concerned about one thing.I saw that there was a leak coming from somewhere and the radiator was smoking.I noticed this when I went to a local shopping mall.Despite this,I drove to a nearby supermarket but I didn't see any leaks nor did my radiator smoke.But still,I might have to get my vehicle towed to the garage to have it checked out.I am hoping that this is nothing serious.But if it is,I will just have to get it fixed.
After doing my shopping,I went straight home and I had a light pasta dinner.After eating,I am now relaxing and getting ready for the new day.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
As with yesterday,I had only one errand to run.I went to the local drug store to pick up some additional cookies for snacking.I went out to endure the high winds that we were having.After all the rain that we had to melt most of the snow that we had from the terrible blizzard that happened a week ago,we now had high winds to endure.Not only that,they day was also COLD!!!!Fortunately,most of the snow was gone and there were not too many slick spots anywhere.Most of them went away.In other areas of Western New York,there was lots of flooding.But we here in my hometown were fortunate not to receive any flooding.Again,I ran an errand and I endured high winds going about 55-60 miles per hour.But I made it home in one piece.My mom was actually concerned about why I went out just for cookies but I told her that it was close to home and that we were running low.
While eating a light supper,we watched The Little Drummer Boy on DVD.There was a lot of sports on today and we wanted to watch another holiday special again because we felt bored.After eating,I simply relaxed in my room and listened to some music.I also received a phone call from a friend of mine in New Jersey.It was a short conversation but it was great.
I am now relaxing.I am anticipating the new day tomorrow.It's hard to believe that the holiday season is almost over.In just 4 days,the 2008 holiday season and the year will be history.Though I do hate to see it end,I am also glad that I don't have to endure it for another year.
Tomorrow is my day off.I am hoping that the day goes well.Tomorrow,I will also go to the garage to drop off some money that I owe and I am hoping that the ball joint will finally be on my 4X4.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ