Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was a much better day than yesterday.After eating a quick breakfast and doing my personal PC work,I was still feeling a little drowsy and I laid down for the rest of the morning.The medication that I am currently taking is making me feel this way and all I want to do is lay down and go to sleep.I am hoping that this side effect passes and I will be back to my old self again.
Lately,I have not been feeling like myself.I have been feeling really and mightily depressed for the past several weeks.I have been calling this place called the Drop In Center to talk and they talks have been really great.I enjoy talking with the people there and it is always a pleasure to find someone who will listen to you and talk to you like normal human beings without being judgemental.After hanging up with them,I decided to go on here and post my day on here.
I also had another talk with my father this afternoon.As usual,the conversation was only a few minutes but still,it was great to talk with him.I am still hoping that he comes up for a visit soon.Right now,he has to get some personal stuff out of the way before he can even come up for a visit.Again,I am still holding onto the hope that he will come up and we will talk and spend as much time as possible together.
I had only small errand to run.I went to a local drug store to pick up a couple of things that my mom needed from there and after that,I chose to stay home as there was really no place to go.The weather might have been better but still,there was no place to go.
Though I had a pretty good day and though I am saying that I am feeling okay,I am still feeling some depressive feelings and I am still feeling the full effects of the funk.Though it has leveled off some in the evening(which is weird in itself),I am still feeling the feelings of sadness.I will be calling the office tomorrow to see if they can possibly hook me up with a counselor until my regular one is back at the office.I am going to tell the office how I am feeling and again,I hope that they can hook me up with someone to talk to.I really do need someone to talk to on a regular basis and I am hoping to find just that.I hope that they can hook me up with someone.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also watched a little bit of 60 Minutes.There was some pretty interesting stuff that they were talking about and it was great to watch it.
Regarding my SSA struggles,tonight is the first time in a long time that I am not having any temptation to watch any pornography. I am feeling a little bit better as a result.I am hoping that I can get through tomorrow without any problems.
Tomorrow is my day off and I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a boring day today.
Today,it rained for much of the day and I didn't do anything as a result of the rain.In my hometown,there is really not an awful lot to do so I stayed home.The only things that I did do was eat a quick breakfast and did my personal PC work.
Since the day was rainy,I decided to relax and take it easy.I laid down for much of the day and I also had a small talk with my father several minutes ago.My father is doing good and he is looking forward to visiting once he gets his personal and legal work out of the way.I am still looking forward to seeing him come up and I am hoping that this visit,if it ever happens,will work out and everything will go good.
I am still feeling depressed as I have been feeling for the past several weeks.I don't know when this funk will be over with and I am really getting impatient.Though I am still holding onto the hope that I will be out of this soon,the funk is going way too slow.I feel sad for much of the day but by the evening,it lets up just a tad.This is weird.I have not felt anything like this before and this is the worst case of the blues that I have been through.If anyone out there can offer any encouraging words,please share.I could use some encouraging words right now.Thanks.
After eating,I watched the evening news and I also had that talk with my father,which,though short,was a pleasant conversation.It was only a few minutes and I did feel minimally better as a result of that.
I am getting the temptation to watch porn but the minute that I am done here,I will try to focus on something else and view something positive on the web.If it doesn't work,I will simply close the net off and shut down the computer.
Since I am not feeling well,I am going to stay home and rest up.I cam always go out next week.
As for Sunday,I have no plans but whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits and that it will help lift me out of this funk that I am in.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly despite one obstacle.It was to clean up a mess at the rehab center that I had to bag.Fortunately,it was only a small mess and I got it done in less than a minute.After that,I headed over to the worksite to start my job.But first,I had a little lunch.
I simply did what I had to do in the time that I had and after I was finished,I dropped off what was clean at the rehab center and I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to cash my paycheck and I also bought something that my mom wanted me to buy to have with dinner.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I took a nap for about an hour.I slept on the sofa because I was feeling a little tired.I have been feeling drowsy as of late and I have been nodding pretty much while at work waiting for loads of laundry to get done.I guess that it is a side effect from the medication that I am currently taking but I am hoping that the side effects disappear as my body adjusts to the medication.I would hate my supervisor or even the job coach to catch falling asleep on the job.That would be embarrasing.I am also hoping for things to start looking up jobwise.I have been having anxieties as of late regarding my job.I am just hoping that things start looking up and that I will have more to pick-up in the near future.I would hate it not having anything to do workwise.
After eating,I registered all the bills that I had at the Where's George site and I also did some more personal PC work.I even watched the evening news and I also had a small talk with the lady over at the Drop-In Center.But they were having some problems and they advised me to call back later,which I will do.I am hoping for another pleasant conversation.
This depression that I am going through is weird.For most of the day,I am feeling really down and funky in a negative sense but by the early evening,it starts to let up.I don't really know what to make of this or how to put it into words.If anyone has any answers or advice,please share.Thanks.I don't want to be in this state forever and I hate that I am in it right now.Again,if anyone out there has any encouraging words,please share.Thanks.I hope that anything provided or shared will help me and be for my benefit.Thanks again.
Tomorrow is the start of the weekend.I am hoping that the weekend will be good.
That was my day today and my hopes for the start of the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.I simply did all the required work that I had to do in the time allotted.After I was finished,I dropped the clean laundry off and I headed for home.
On the way home,I withdrew some money for my mom and I went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things that my mom wanted me to pick up.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a bit and this time,I wasn't feeling any restlessness.I slept for over an hour on the living room sofa.I only had to get up a couple of times to go to the bathroom but for most of the time,I wasn't restless.I had a good relaxation and I felt a little refreshed.
I also did some more personal PC work and I also registered the bill that I got from the bank at the Where's George site.It is now on there and I can't wait for the hit when I spend the bill.
I watched a little bit of TV for a bit.It was the Doctor's TV show that I watched.They do have a lot of interesting things to say on that show regarding medical conditions and what the right thing to do is.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a bit and after that,I called that Drop-In Center again to talk with the same person.It was yet another pleasant conversation and though it wasn't as long as it was yesterday,I still enjoyed talking with her and I will be calling her tomorrow evening after I eat.
Though I am still feeling depressed,I am still holding onto the hope that I will overcome this depression.I don't know how long it will take but I am willing to do anything to overcome this depression.This has been the worst spell that I have been in for a long time.I am hoping that I will be out of this funk soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am not having the temptation to watch any pornography in any way,shape or form.Though I still have to be on guard,because the temptation will come back when I least expect it.But for now,I am just going to be satisfied with not having the temptation to watch pornography.I also have to keep remembering what pornography really is and what it represents.I am hoping that when this funk passes,I will not be tempted to watch any porn.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for teh day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The laundry pick-up didn't turn out so good.I had a huge mess to clean up.But I did get it cleaned up and I managed to drop off the laundry at the work site and even sort it out.But still,I had a huge mess to clean up and I really wasn't too happy about picking up after people who actually know how to pick up after themselves.After eating lunch,I hung out at the social club for a while and headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas in my tank and I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while and I also went to a local laundromat to do my dirty underwear.It had accumulated pretty much over the past few weeks and I felt that it was high time that it got done.It took a while but after it was finished,I folded everything and I bagged it all.I headed back home afterwards.
When I got home,I relaxed again for a bit while waiting for dinner to get done.My mom was already working on it when I walked in.I sorted out all my underwear once I got it in the house.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I talked on the phone with a crisis counselor over at a Drop-In Center for a while.We talked for over 1/2 an hour about my bout with depression and what I believed on how it got started.She also told me that she wanted me to call back tomorrow night after I ate dinner because she was going to look up any counseling for me in the area that I live in.The reason is because she told me that she wanted me to feel better and feel much happier.I am hoping that she can because at the moment,I have really nobody to talk to in the area.My sexual abuse support counselor is out of her office due to personal reasons and I don't know when she will be back.Again,I am hoping that I can hook up with someone in my area so I can talk about how I am feeling and I am also hoping that the person that I will talk to will listen and avoid being judgemental in their approach.I really need somebody to talk to about the way I am feeling and at the moment,I have nobody to talk to regarding the way that I feel.I am also feeling sad as a result of this and I am in desperate need of someone to talk to because I am feeling alone like if nobody is there and nobody cares.I am hoping that I can hook up with someone in my area so I can talk about these feelings.
I am also having the temptation to watch pornography online but after I am done here,I am going to do something else.I will NOT watch any pornography in any way,shape or form.I am determined not to fall.I am also determined to be strong and not give in to the temptation.Again,the minute that I am done here,I am going to do something else.If that doesn't work,I am going to simply close off the internet and shut the computer down.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes smoothly.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work day went smoothly.I simply did what I had to do in the time allotted and after the work was done,I dropped off what was clean at the rehab center and I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a couple of stores to pick up a few things that my mom and I needed.The first store that I stopped was a local Dollar General store to buy a few things that my mom needed.I also went to a local drug store to pick up a prescription that was waiting for me.The hassle with the insurance company finally ended last night when I heard from the company that they were approving the filling of the medication.I was relieved.I picked up the prescription today on the way home and I have it here in the house so I can start using it right away.I am relieved that the hassle is finally over.It was really stressful waiting for a week just to get a prescription filled on my insurance approval.But now,it is finally here and I can start using it tonight when I am ready to go to bed.
When I got home,I made a couple of phone calls to the Social Security administration to check up on something that I had sent them a couple of weeks ago.So far,they haven't received it as of yet and I am still hoping that they will receive it soon.I will just have to keep checking until I hear that it is on the record.I relaxed for a bit while waiting for my computer to be fully on so I could do some more work.
After eating,I watched the evening news and I also registered a couple of bills at the Where's George site.This was change that I received after I bought those things at the Dollar General store.Overall,a pretty good day.
I have been reporting so much on my depression lately.I am sorry if I have inconvenienced anyone by constantly talking about it.But I feel that if I don't talk about it,I am not going to feel any better.I also need the help and support of my fellow people out there,especially if you also struggle with depression.I have been in this funk for a little over three weeks and I am hoping to be out of it soon.If anyone out there can give me any words of encouragement,I would appreciate that.Thanks.Right now,the depression has leveled off some but it has not left.Again,any support or encouragement would be appreciated.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am having the temptation to watch pornography but I am not going to watch it.I am just going to do something else after I am done here.
Tomorrow is simply a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick-up goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
Firstly,I woke up and I ate a quick breakfast before doing my personal PC work.Again,despite some connection problems,I managed to get everything done.I also did not have too many e-mails to read so I got it done in under 1/2 an hour.
I really didn't have too much to do.I only ran a couple of errands today.One for myself and one for my mom.The one that I did for myself was that I went to check up on a friend who had just checked out of the hospital but his live in girlfriend had informed me that he was at a doctor's office getting a check-up.I said okay and I left.I went to a local supermarket for my mom to pick up a couple of things that my mom wanted me to get.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I tried to once again relax but couldn't.I was feeling really restless and jittery though I was also feeling tired at the same time.I just couldn't lay down or even sit down to take it easy.I am hoping that this passes and I will be able to relax again.
Last night,I went out for a short to see some of my friends at the place where I entertain people.Unfortunately,the night didn't go all too well because one of the people saw that I was not being myself.I know that lately I haven't been myself lately and I have been really down.Though I am okay,I am still feeling the rut of sadness that has been plaguing me for the past few weeks.I have been hoping that this will soon pass but it looks like that it isn't.I am hoping that this sadness spell passes soon and I will be back to my old self again.I feel that I am in a hopeless case(though I know that there is no such thing as hopeless when it comes to human beings in ruts)and that there may be no way out.If anyone out there is reading,I would appreciate some advice on how I can overcome this.I have been going through drug withdrawal from my previous medication and I am already getting tired of being in this.If anyone can help me,please help.Thanks.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a bit and I decided to post my day on here.Overall,a pretty fair day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I have been having the temptation to watch pornography since the day began but I haven't been doing that.I have been closing the internet each and every time the temptation comes up.I might just close the net off if the temptation does not die down soon.I don't want to watch porn because,as I have stated previously,pornography is garbage and it is also unhealthy eye candy.I am hoping that the temptation does soon because I don't want to get myself into trouble.Any prayers would be appreciated.Thanks.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
I didn't have an awful lot to do.When I got up,I ate a quick breakfast and I did my personal PC work.Despite some connection issues,I managed to get the work done.I also did not have too many e-mails in my e-mail boxes and I got the work done in almost 1/2 an hour.I also did some other personal things on the computer before closing off the internet.
For much of the day,I stayed home because I didn't have much to do.I did hear from my father a little late in the afternoon and though it was only for a few minutes,it was a pleasant conversation.After I hung up the phone,I decided to go out to a local store to buy something for my mom.
I went to a local Dollar Tree store to buy a bottle of dish detergent for my mom.She was running low and I took it upon myself to buy a bottle so she will have some when she does indeed run out.After getting a little bit of gas at a nearby gas station,I headed for home.
On the way home,I saw an ice cream truck and I bought myself a sherbet bar because I was in the mood for a snack and since it was fat free,I figured that I would buy one and have it right then and there.After I ate it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I tried to relax for a bit but I had to keep getting up to use the bathroom.I have been urinating pretty much the entire early evening.I am hoping that this will pass and I will be soon back to normal.Last week,I had the same problem but I got checked out and the doctor who checked me out told me that everything was okay.I may have to make another appointmnet with the doctor this week and I hope that I can get one this week.I hope that I don't have to but if I do,I do.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while.It really was great to stay informed and I also decided to post my day on here.Overall,a pretty fair day.
I am still feeling some depressive feelings from the past few weeks.I am hoping that this also will soon pass.I have been in this funk for quite some time and I am hoping that I will be out of it soon.I really hate this funk.This has been the longest that I have been depressed in quite a while.My normal spells have usually lasted a day or two but this time,it has been pretty much with me for the past few weeks.Again,I am hoping that this will pass soon and I will be back to normal.
Reagrding my SSA struggles,I am having no problems.I am also not having the temptation to watch any pornography.I am hoping to get through the new week without any issues or problems.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went great.It was a pretty wonderful night and I did have a good time despite the funk.I am hoping that next week goes well.
Tomorrow is my day off.I have made no plans but whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my weekend and my hopes for the start of the new week ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was the start of the weekend.I didn't have too much to do.I started the day by having a quick breakfast and a couple cups of coffee.I also did my personal PC work after doing that.
When the afternoon hit,I had to run a few errands.Firstly,I paid a visit to the newly opened Wal-Mart to check it out and buy a few things that I needed.There was a lot of peopel there taking advantage of the newly opened store and filling up their shopping baskets with a lot of things.It was just wonderful to be there and to shop.After paying for my items,I went directly to the supermarket across the street to continue my errands.
Before going over there,I went to a nearby hair place to get my hair cut.The best thing was that I didn't have to wait very long to get it cut.They took me in right away and my hair was done within a few minutes.I simply walked right over to the supermarket to complete what I had to do.After paying for the stuff that I got at the supermarket,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to buy something there.
When I got there,I almost changed my mind regarding buying the item that I was going to buy.I kept putting it back on the shelf and proceeding to leave but I went and bought it anyway.It is something that the nurse practitioner wants me to try but I am unsure if I want to try it.I have been going through withdrawal from stopping my previous medication and I think that it's the reason why I have been in a depressive funk.I am just hoping to be out of this funk really soon and that the withdrawal period will end.I really don't like the effects of this withdrawal and I am hoping that it is over soon.I will have to talk with the nurse practitioner again and I am hoping to get some insight from her as to how long this withdrawal period will go on.I am just hoping that it ends soon.
After finishing my errands,I headed straight home to try and take it easy,but couldn't.I was feeling restless and jittery as a result of the medication that I am currently taking.Why do medicines have to have side effects?Will they ever create a medication that will have no side effects when you take it?I hate that I have to put up with all of these side effects while taking a medication that is supposed to help me.Again,I have to talk with the nurse practitioner when I get the chance to tell her about the withdrawal effects of my previous medication and how I can deal with the side effects of the medication that I am currently taking.I hope to gain some insight.
As stated,I tried to take it easy but couldn't.I was pacing back and forth and feeling jittery.Plus,I was feeling cold and I did have clothes on.While mom heated up a couple of frozen pizzas for dinner,I bathed and got cleaned up for tonight.
After eating,I watched the evening news and I also watched a Time-Life infomercial about the Ultimate Oldies Collection.It was really neat to hear all of these snippets of the songs from the 1950's because these songs are the reason why the music I grew up with was around.Plus,I used to hear them on the radio when I was growing up when my mom's boyfriend used to play the all oldies station thet he and my mom used to enjoy.
After watching all of that,I decided to post my day on here and share what I had to do to try and make myself feel better by just being out in the community.It was good to be out and about and also to save on gas having the Wal-Mart that I like to shop at almost nearby.Overall,a pretty good day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had no problems.I also have no temptation to watch any pornography online.I am hoping that I can get through tomorrow unscathed.
I will be going out tonight to sing and hang out with the gang at the place where I entertain.I am hoping that the night goes well.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.I simply did what I had to do in the amount of time that I had and after I was finished,I simply bagged the clean laundry and dropped it off at the rehab center.I headed for home after that.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to cash my paycheck and I bought a couple of things that my mom needed at the local Dollar Tree store.Since it was raining,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the bills that I had gotten on the Where's George site.It was quite a bit to register.I also decided to do some more personal PC work after doing so.
My brother in-law stopped over for a bit and my mom and him talked for a while.I don't know much of what they were talking about because I was too busy on the computer to eavesdrop and I also believe that eavesdropping is rude.So,I let them have their talk and I continued on registering the dollar bills at the Where's George site.
Today,I was still in the depressive funk that I have been in for a little over three weeks.I am feeling good right now but for most of the day,I was feeling sadness.I don't know what could be causing this but I am hoping to be out really soon.I will just have to keep talking about this until the funk subsides.Any advice would be appreciated.Thanks.
After eating,I watched the evening news and I did some more personal PC work.
I also had a talk with my father for a while.I was supposed to have heard from him earlier in the week but he informed me that he had some urgent work calls that he had to take care of and that he had completely forgotten.But I did talk with him for a while tonight and it was a pleasant conversation.I am still looking forward to his upcoming visit.He doens't know when he will be here but he still plans on coming up.He also informed me that he has some stuff that he has to take care of first before he can leave anywhere for anything.Still,I am feeling hopeful that he will be up here soon and I am still planning on spending as much time as possible with him.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I can report that I am having no cravings to watch any pornography at the moment.I am also not having any cravings nor desires to act out in any way,shape or form.I am feeling good as a result of me not having any temptation to watch any of that unhealthy eye candy that will not get my needs fulfilled nor make me feel any closer to what I am trying to accomplish.I am hoping that this continues for a long time.
Tomorrow is the start of the weekend.I am hoping that the weekend goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.I simply did what I had to do in the amount of time that I had and when I was finished,I simply dropped off the clean laundry at the rehab center and I headed for home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a bit and took it easy while my mom was getting ready to go to an eye doctor's office to have her eyes checked out.When she left,I proceeded to go on my computer and do some more personal PC work.Since my mom was going to be gone for most of the afternoon,I decided to use the quiet time the best way that I knew how by working on the computer.My sister,who lives locally,took our mom to the eye doctor's office.
When she got home later in the day,she told me the news that she has to have surgery on her eyes in the Fall of this year and I am hoping that the surgery,though it is two months away,goes well.My mom has been lamenting on her eye condition for quite some time and she is relieved that the doctor can work with her eyes and fix them so she will see better.I am also hoping that this can be so as well.
Today,the situation that I am currently going through didn't affect me as much as it has been.I am still feeling the frustration of waiting for the "prior authorization" to come from the insurance company and I can get the medicine that I need so I can start to function and feel better.I am also still feeling hopeful that this can be resolved soon.As stated,I am still feeling the frustration of this whole insurance hassle and I am hoping that the situation can be resolved.This whole thing has really been a chore on my struggles with depression and SSA that I am feeling the temptation to do things that are wrong.But I am resisting the temptation and I am feeling better as a result of this avoidance.
After eating,I once again watched the evening news for a while and I decided to post my day on here.Overall,a pretty good day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,as stated,I am having the temptation to watch pornography but I am not going to watch it.I am just going to choose to view something else online rather than porn.The temptation is still going to remain with me even if I don't watch any pornography but I know that I can make a choice not to view it.In the past,watching porn was a "false coping mechanism" when I felt that there wasn't anything that I can do or watch.But today,with me a little bit wiser,I can now say NO to pornography and NO to acting out.Still,I need to take this as a "One Day at a Time" thing.If I can get through one day or moment without giving into any temptation,Good.There is always tomorrow and the day after that and so on.But as stated,I have chosen not to watch any pornography and I am going to continue battling this temptation every time it comes around.I am glad that I have a choice and that is one of the best things about being human.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.I had a so-so day today.
The laundry pick-up went smoothly as there were no messes to clean up.After sorting out the laundry,I had lunch and I headed for home.
Before I did any of that,I first did my personal PC work and I also ran an errand for my mom.I had to withdraw money for my mom from the bank and I also went to get some gas in my tank.I headed for work to do the laundry pick-up.
I really did not have too much to do today,with the exception of going to a local post office to mail out some important stuff that needed to be mailed out.I simply took it easy for most of the afternoon and I tried to take a nap because I was feeling tired and a little sleepy.I was yawning as well but I couldn't even take a nap.I was feeling tired and sleepy but couldn't get any Z's.Plus,I was also feeling a little restless and I was pacing a little.I simply went on the computer and did a little bit more research on prescription drugs and even that is starting to get boring.I also did some research on depression and its causes.I am struggling with some depression at the moment and I wanted to get some knowledge on the condition.The only thing that I am hoping is that I can get out of this really soon.I am slowly getting out of it and I am still feeling hopeful.I am also thinking of calling one of those hotlines again just to talk about the feelings again.
For most of the afternoon,I simply hung out at home and tried to relax,but couldn't.
The reason I am feeling mixed emotions is the whole rigamaroo about trying to get the medication filled and always hoping that the "prior authorization" will go through so I can finally get this and I will be fine.This whole thing has been frustrating and nerve-wracking.I haven't had this problem before and I am hoping that this problem cann get resolved soon so I will get the medication and start using it to help me.It is also contributing to why I am feeling down in the dumps.Again,I am hoping that this issue will get resolved soon and I am also hoping that this situation doesn't happen again.I am also hoping that I will be alright once the situation is finally over.I will have to continue to hang in there until the whole thing is finally resolved.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I decided to share my day on here.Overall,a pretty so-so day.
This whole thing that has been happening is also taking a toll on my SSA struggles.I am now having the temptation to watch pornography.Though I am tempted,I am not going to watch that garbage.Why?Becuase watching porn is not going to fulfill any needs and it's also not going to help in the end.Pornography is nothing but unhealthy eye candy and most of all,it is mental poison as well as garbage.This whole thing regarding the medication situation has really blown my emotional make-up out of proportion and I am almost at my wits end.I really need some encouragement,support and prayers.The more I can get.The better I will hopefully feel.Thanks in advance.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
The work day went smoothly despite a minor setback.I simply did what I had to do in the amount of time that I had and when I was done,I bagged everything that was clean and I dropped it all off at the rehab center.I had to do a lot of linens because that is what the rehab center needed more than anything.Again,I dropped everything off and I headed for home.
When I got home,I laid down and tried to rest for a bit when the phone rang.It was the nurse practitioner returning my phone call.There is a problem with obtaining the medication that I need.Apparently,the insurance company didn't approve the filling of it and now,I have to wait a little more time to get it.I told the nurse practitioner about the problem that I am currently having and she informed me that she is aware of the whole thing and that she is hoping that the prescription will be filled soon.She also couldn't understand the delay in filling the prescription because she prescribed me with a common drug that has been on the market for a long time and that there shouldn't be a problem.But I am hanging in there and I am hoping that this problem can be resolved soon.I really hate that this is happening but it's life.You just have to hang in there until the problems get resolved.
After talking with her,I returned to laying down and tried to rest.But it was hard for me to do so.All of these problems trying to get one prescription filled coupled with me always feeling tired but not being able to relax when I would really like to.But I am still feeling hopeful that all of this can be resolved soon.
I also did some more personal PC work,which consisted of checking e-mails and doing a lot more research on prescription drugs and their side effects,especially the one that I received as samples from the nurse practitioner yesterday,which I haven't even started taking yet because of the hassles with getting the medication that I really need.I am still taking the current medication that she has me on and because of the interactions,I have chosen to not take it due to some questionable risks.Again,I am hanging in there until this whole thing gets resolved.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,despite the setbacks,it was a pretty good day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am having the craving to watch pornography online.But I am not going to watch any porn and when I am done here,I am going to do visit a non-porn website and hope for the temptation to die down.If it doesn't work,I will simply close off the internet and get off the computer.
Tomorrow is simply a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick-up goes smoothly.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
When I got up out of bed,I ate a quick breakfast and despite some issues with the internet browswer,I did my personal PC work.I also managed to do a little bit more research on some prescription medication.
After doing all of that,I still had some time in the morning,so I went to my insurance agent to pay my auto insurance for the month.After that,I headed straight home to get ready for my appointment with the nurse practitioner over at the local hospital.
While getting ready,I watched the noon news and I took it easy.I still had plenty of time so I felt that I should relax for a bit while waiting for the time for me to leave.
When I left,I stopped over at my work to pick up my paycheck that I didn't get on Friday due to the picnic.I headed for the hospital after that.
The session with the nurse practitioner went better than I expected.I told her everything from the way that I felt and the funk that I have been in.After telling her these things,I felt better and I got a new prescription and some med samples to try out.The only drawback was that the practitioner put the wrong date on the script paper.I now have to wait for her to give the okay on the prescription so I can start taking it because I really need it.I am hoping that she can tell the pharmacy that it is okay to fill the prescription right now so I can start taking it immediately.Again,I hope that this can happen soon.
When I got home,I relaxed for a bit and waited for dinner to get done.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and I did some research on some more prescription drugs.As stated,I need to gain some knowledge on prescription drugs so I will know what's what on prescriptions and their side effects and their benefits.I did a little bit of research on the samples that I got today.I read them and the side effects are almost the same as the medication that I am currently taking.Boy,I wish that there wasn't so much side effects to these drugs.I know that these things are made by man and anything made by man will be as imperfect as man.But I do wish that there wasn't so much and that each and every drug was safe.I guess that you can't have everything.I am just hoping that everything works out for the better and that I will get the new medication that I really need to help me.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I have nothing negative to report.
Tomorrow is a work day.I hope that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
After getting out of bed,I ate a quick breakfast and I did my personal PC work.There weren't too many e-mails to read so I finished it within 1/2 an hour despite some issues with the internet browser.I also did a little bit more research on prescription drugs to gain some more knowledge.
After doing all of these things,I had a light lunch and I went to the local laundromat to do my underwear.There was an awful lot of it to and it took me a little over an hour to get it done.After folding the laundry,I bagged it all and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I had realized that I had forgotten my little bag over at the laundromat and I had to call them to make sure that they would hold it for me so I could pick it up and take it home with me.I was relieved to have gotten it back and I am going to make a resolution with myself to try and not forget my personal property when I go to places like a laundromat.I headed back home after that and the bag is here in the house where it is safe.I also checked it out and everything was in there that I had put in there.There was nothing missing.
When I got home,I tried to relax and take it easy by registering a few more dollar bills on the Where's George database.After registering all of those bills,I ate dinner.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went well.I got a lot of positive responses from the crowd and I felt pretty good when I left to go home.I am looking forward to next week.
Tomorrow afternoon,I have an appoitment with the nurse practitioner over at the local hospital.I am hoping that the sesion will go well.I am going to tell her everything that I was going to tell her when I wanted her to call me on the telephone.I am going to tell her about the depressive funk that I have been in and I am hoping that she can give me some helpful advice on how I can get out.I am slowly getting out of it but I feel that I still can get some additional help in this area.Today,I didn't feel as much depression as I have been feeling but I still would like to get out of this funk.I am hoping that the nurse practitioner can help out in this respect.The only thing is that I hope that she feels that I need to take an extra prescription drug to help out.I have also been losing sleep as a result of this.I have been waking up in the early morning hours to use the bathroom but have a hard time getting back to sleep when I get back into bed.Again,I am hoping that I can get some helpful advice from the nurse practitioner.
The only positive thing is that this is having no impact on my struggles with SSA.
For the rest of the evening,I am just going to stay home and enjoy the evening.
That was my weekend and my hopes for the start of the new week ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
When I got up out of bed,I ate a quick breakfast and I did my personal PC work.There wasn't an awful lot to do PC wise so I just browsed for a while online looking up information on medication and their side effects.I have been doing this for quite some time because I am currently taking medication for a psychiatric problem that I have and I want to gain some knowledge of prescription medictaion and the side effects that they might have when they are taken by people.I have learned some of the side effects that are a part of the medicine that I am currently taking and again,I need to know all of this to gain some knowledge.
After doing all of this,I ran out to run an errand for my mom.I had to pick up a few things that were needed.After getting all of these things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to lay down and tried to take a nap.Try as I did,I couldn't even take a nap.I have been having problems sleeping as of late.I wake up in the early morning hours to use the bathroom and I can't get back to sleep once I get back into bed.I will have to talk this over with the nurse practitioner over at the local hospital to see what advice she might have on how to deal and handle this.I want to get my usual sleep and there have been problems with this and I would like to know what I can do to stop this.I am hoping that the nurse practitioner can help me out with this.I will be seeing her this coming Monday and I am hoping to get a reasonable and helpful solution.
Today,during the afternoon,I called a couple of suicide hotlines.Don't worry readers,I AM NOT CONTEMPLATING NOR AM I EVEN THINKING OF CONTEMPLATING SUICIDE.I only called them because I was looking for depression hotlines online and these were the only two phone numbers that I got.I called them and the people that talked with me simply gave me some helpful advice on how to handle the funk that I am currently in and to simply talk it over with the nurse practitioner when I go to meet with her on Monday.I will be doing that the minute that I see her on Monday and as stated,I am hoping for any reasonable and helpful solutions that will help get me out of this funk that I am currently in.Again,I am hoping for something helpful.
After talking with the first person,I bathed for a while to clean up as my mom prepared dinner for the both of us.
After eating,I decided to do some more personal PC work and I also called the other hotline and talked with a lady about the funk that I am currently in.She listened toi every word that I said and I listened to her.It was a pleasant conversation and I did feel a little bit better as a result.
Tonight,I am going out to sing a little for my friends.I am hoping for a nice evening and a lot of positive responses.Though I rarely have a bad night,I still hope for things to go well.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I haven't felt any sexual feelings towards any men today.That is the only good thing to come out of this.Though I am in a depressive funk,I am having no cravings to indulge in anything sexual with a man.
As for tomorrow,I am hoping to get to the laundromat to do my underwear.I am hoping that everything goes well as planned.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a great day today.
The company picnic was nice.Yes,I did eat quite a bit of food and I was full,mostly from drinking a couple of bottles of bottled water.But again,I did eat quite a bit.I was going to go swimming in the pool but I changed my mind.After watching some fun stuff,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to check up on a friend of mine to see how he was but he wasn't home.I am hoping that he is okay and I am also hoping,weather permitting,to check up on him tomorrow hoping to catch him at home.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I got out of my clothes and I relaxed for a bit.I also watched another After School Special on that DVD set that I have because I was feeling bored and I wanted something to cheer me up.It was nice watching that and after that,I continued to relax for a bit.I also did my personal PC work,which I hadn't had a chance to get to all day due to the social club being temporarily closed and going to the company picnic.But I did hear from the social club coordinator that it will be open on Monday and things will return to normal very soon.
After eating a light dinner,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.
I am feeling a little bit better than I did yesterday.I am not feeling as depressed as I was yesterday.The depressive funk that I am in is slowly disappearing.I am hoping that the funk will be over with soon and I will be back to normal.I was feeling really good as a result of me talking to my father and learning to let go of the anger that I felt towards him as well as forgiving him for what he did to the family over the years,including the horrible paternal abuse that I had to endure from his hand.Now,I am in a depressive funk that although is slowly disappearing,I still feel that it doesn't want to leave.But again,I am slowly getting out of it and I am hoping to fully get out of it soon.The only drawback is that I still haven't heard from the nurse practitioner at the local hospital.I guess that what I have to tell her is going to have to wait until Monday afternoon when I have an appointment with her.As stated,I understand that she is a busy person with a lot of cases and clients to be seen but I still feel that she still can spare a few minutes to see what a client has to tell her.I wanted to tell her about the funk that I had been in and what I had been thinking about since our last session.I also wanted to tell her about some of the side effects that I have been dealing with as a result of the medication that I am currently taking and see if I can give another medication a try that doesn't have any of the side effects that this one has.Again,I am hoping that I can talk with her about these things and I am also hoping that she will be understanding.
The only really good thing is that all of that is not affecting my SSA struggles.I am also not having any temptation to watch any pornography.
I know that I have been rambling a lot as of late.But I need to get what I have to say off of my chest and I am also looking for some support through some of the negatives that are going on in my life at the moment.If there is anyone out ther reading what I am posting on here,please share any words of encouragement that will really help me out.I would really appreciate that.Thanks.
Tomorrow is the start of the weekend.I am hoping that the weekend goes well for me.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.The laundry pick-up also went smoothly with no messes to clean up.After sorting out the laundry,I started a load and simply waited for the load to get done in the cellar.
After the shift was over,I dropped the laundry off at the rehab center and went to have my lunch at the location where the social club is meeting until the regular place opens back up.After eating my lunch,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did a little bot of personal PC work and took my mom to a local supermarket to do her grocery shopping for the month.
When we got home,we sorted out the groceries and put them in their proper places.After helping her out,I finished my personal PC work and as a result of the hard day,my mom and I decided to order out for dinner rather than have her prepare something.We made only one more supermarket stop before I went to get some sandwiches at a local Wendy's for dinner.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I posted my day on here.Overall,a pretty good day.
I am only feeling a slight depression at the moment.But I am feeling hopeful that I will get over this funk that is currently upon me.This spell has been with me for over a week,which is the longest that I have been in something like this.I am hoping to be over this soon.I have been leaving messages for the nurse practitioner at the local hospital to call me so I could tell her about this but she hasn't even returned one phone call.If I don't hear from her tomorrow,I will have to wait until Monday to talk with her.I hate waiting a long time to tell someone what is going on with yourself.I feel that when you need to talk,you should always have a listening ear to hear you when you need to talk.Don't get me wrong,I understand that the nurse practitioner is a busy person who has to deal with different clients each and every day.But I feel that it only takes a few minutes to see what a person has to say to you and whatever advice or any sort of words that you can give can be vital to a person's survival.Again,I guess that I will have to wait until Monday to talk with her if I don't hear from her soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am having the temptation to look at pornography.But I am not going to give into the temptation.The minute that I am done here,I am going to close off the internet and run another errand for my mom.
Tomorrow is the day of the company picnic.I am hoping that the picnic will be a great one.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
The laundry pick-up went smoothly.There were no messes to clean up and that was great.I simply dropped off the laundry at the worksite and sorted it all out.After eating lunch,I proceeded to get on with my day.Before I did anything else,I ate breakfast and I also did my personal PC work.
I first went to the post office to mail a letter for my mom and I also went to the local UPS station to drop off something that my mom needed to return.I headed for home to pick up something that I needed to take with me to the doctor.
When I got to the doctor's office,I had to wait a while and when they finally called me,they did the usual things that they needed to do such as get my blood pressure and check my blood sugar.I also had to provide a urine sample for the doctor to check out to see if there was anything wrong.Fortunately,the doctor found nothing wrong and that really relieved me.I told the doctor about my frequent urination and he simply advised me to tone down on the amount of liquids that I consume,especially at night before going to sleep.I left the office feeling a little bit relieved and hopeful.Despite what the doctor said,I still have the feeling that it has something to do with the psychiatric medication that I am currently taking.When I got the handout,one of the side effects listed was a "change in the amount of urine."The minute that I meet with the nurse practitioner over at the local hospital,I am going to talk with her about all of this and I am hoping that we both can come to an understanding.I really hate it that I am enduring this at the moment and I am hoping that I won't have to endure it after Monday when I meet with the nurse practitioner.I am hoping that I can probably try out a new medication that doesn't have the side effect of excessive urination.After leaving the office,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I made a few phone calls to find where I could buy sunscreen for my face.I am going to a company picnic on Friday and I am planning to go swimming in the area pool.I just want to make sure that I am prepared with enough sunscreen so I will be protected from any sunlight that will shine on Friday.I found sunscreen for my face cheap at the local Wal-Mart.I went out to get it and I headed straight home again.
When I got home,I told my mom about what the doctor said and that everything was okay.I registered a couple of one dollar bills at the Where's George site and I also did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also decided to post my day on here.Overall,a pretty good day.
I am not feeling any depression at the moment.I am slowly getting out of the funk that I have been in since last Saturday.I am hoping to be out of this funk very soon.I am not feeling anything negative at the moment and that is good.I know that negative emotions will never go away and I will be feeling them when I least expect it.But for now,I am glad to not be feeling anything negative at the moment.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I can safely say that I am not feeling any of those feelings at the moment.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty mixed day today.
The work day went a little rough.The laundry pick-up went well but the roughness that I had was when I arrived at the worksite.There was a load left behind by the person who did the laundry the previous day and not only that,there were also a couple of blankets left in a dryer that were really wet.I had to use most of my day to finish off what the guy didn't finish and to get my work going.
Not only that,the social club is temporarily closed as a result of a sewage problem that stunk the whole place up.As a result of this,I couldn't start to do any personal PC work while on break from work and I also had to go to another location to eat lunch and I almost didn't get one as a result of the chaos.I had to spend the entire day in the basement concentrating on my job and to try and forget about the negativisms of the day,which wasn't easy.I did manage to ask periodically how the clean up was going and I did get some good news from the coordinator that the clean up was progressing and that they were hoping to get the social club opening up soon.I am hoping so because it was a pretty dull day sitting in that cellar all alone with nothing to read or not having anyone to talk to while waiting for the load to get done.But I managed to get through the day and when the day was over,I dropped off the clean laundry at the rehab center and I headed for home.
On the way home,I had to make one stop.It was at a local supermarket to get change for a ten dollar bill that belonged to my mom because she wanted it a certain way that I didn't get it when I withdrew it for her from our regular bank.It is now the way she wants it so she can use it to pay someone that she owes money to.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the bills on the Where's George site and I also finally got around to doing my personal PC work.Despite some issues with the internet browser that I was using,I got it done.It wasn't easy but I managed to do everything online that I set out to do.After closing the internet off,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while.I also posted my day on here.Overall,it was a pretty mixed day and I am hoping that tomorrow will be better.
I am not feeling any depression at the moment.I am feeling okay and I am hoping that the rest of the evening goes well enough.I still have one more thing to do before I can call it a day.I am hoping to do it after I am finished posting on here.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had no problems.I have had no cravings nor images creeping up into my mentality lately.This is a great thing.Still,I need to take this as a "One Day At A Time" thing where if I get through the day without any problems,there is still the day after and so on.I am hoping that tomorrow will be problem free.
Tomorrow is simply a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick-up goes well.I also have that follow-up appointment with the doctor as a result of my emergency room visit over the weekend.I am hoping that the follow-up goes well with good news.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was my day off from work.I really didn't have to much to do.After eating a quick breakfast,I did my personal PC work.I also did a little bit more research on prescription drugs and their side effects.After doing all of that,I decided to relax and take it easy.
I did hear from the doctor's office today.They wanted to inquire as to why I had called the office over the weekend.I told them that it was over the frequent urination that I was struggling with over the weekend and that I had to go to the emergency ward over at the local hospital as a result of it becoming pretty bothersome.I scheduled an appointment for this week and I am hoping that the appointment will go well.I am hoping that the doctor will give me some good news.
I had only one small errand to run.I had to go to a friend of my mom's house to pick up something that my mom had purchased from her and that was the only thing that I did today.
After coming home,I laid down for a bit because I felt tired.The only problem was that I couldn't really get to sleep.I was trying to take a nap.I felt tired but couldn't get any nap time in.I guess that it's a side effect of the medication that I am currently taking that was prescribed for me by the practitioner over at the local hospital.I was yawning for much of the day and just feeling pretty tired even though I didn't do too much.Plus,it was also a pretty dull afternoon because we did have some rain for a little bit of the day and some thunder and lightning.
After eating,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work.I checked my e-mail to see if there were any new messages and I posted my day on here.Overall,a pretty good day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had no problems.I had no cravings nor images creeping up into my mentality nor did I watch any pornography in any way,shape or form.I am hoping to get through tomorrow without any problems.
Though I am feeling okay,I am still feeling a little bit of depression.I have been feeling this funk of depression for a little over a week.I am still holding onto the hope that this will pass and that I will feel better.I am sick of this depression and again,I am hoping that this will pass.
Tomorrow is a work day and I am hoping that the day goes smoothly.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
For starters,I had a quick breakfast and I did my personal PC work.I also registered some bills at the Where's George site this morning.I also did some research on prescription drugs on a drug store website for the rest of the morning and also looked up other things regarding them.For most of the afternoon,I simply took it easy and relaxed.
I had only one small errand to run.My mom wanted me to go to a local Dollar General store to pick up a couple of things that she needed.After paying for the items,I headed back home to await for dinner to get done.On the way home,I did stop to get some gas in my tank.
Before running out to do the errands,I called my regular doctor's office to talk with the doctor about my emergency room visit yesterday.I told her the results of what they told me and I told her that I would be coming into the office to set up an appointment as a follow-up and I am hoping that the follow-up will also go well when I can get one.As stated,I am glad that there was nothing wrong and that the problem wasn't too serious.But I am still going to take the advice of the emergency room doctors and get that follow-up.The sooner that I can get it the better.
After eating,I watched some of the evening news and I did some last minute personal PC work.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went well.It was a pretty good night despite that it started out dead but it soon got some people.There was also a fight outside the place last night when a couple of guys came after a few of the patrons with baseball bats and even threw empty beer bottles.The NYS police were called but the guys who instigated the whole thing took off running before they even showed up.But the rest of the evening was cool,calm and serene.I am just hoping that this doesn't happen again for a long time to come.Fortunately,the fight didn't spoil the evening.
Though I am feeling okay,I am also feeling a little depressed.I really don't know why I am in this funk but as stated,I am hoping that the spell will pass soon.It will be a week starting tomorrow that I will be seeing the nurse practitioner and I will just have to hang in there until then.I am hoping to talk with her this Wednesday when she will be back from her vacation.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I have not been feeling the negative feelings of attraction as of late.I am not having any cravings nor images creeping up into my mentality.That is pretty good.I am hoping that I can get through the new week unscathed.
Tomorrow is my day off.I am hoping that the day will go well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the start of the new week ahead.FJ

Happy 4th of July everybody!!!!
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty hectic day today.
First off,I did lose some sleep last night as a result of me not being able to take my medication.Yesterday,I took 2 St.John's Wort capsules to help ease my depression but I found out through my pharmacist that the combination of my meds and the St.John's Wort would produce too much serotonin and as a result,I had to skip taking my regular medication.So,I simply took a normal sleep aid that you can buy at any health food store and I tried to get to sleep.I did manage to get some sleep but I kept waking up in the middle of the night and having to start all over again.I don't know what time that I finally dozed off but it was wonderful to get some sleep but I didn't wake up too refreshed.Not only that,I kept having the frequent urge to use the bathroom today.Each and every time that I tried to relax,I had to get up to urinate and this really became a pain.It became so bothersome that I went to the emergency ward at the local hospital and just lay there in a bed and wait for them to get to me through the separate intervals that it would take.They gave me both a urine and blood test and fortunately,they told me that I was okay and that there was nothing wrong.But they told me that if anything should change,come back and let them know.They simply advised me to not drink too much fluids and not to drink too much before going to bed.They also advised me to make an appointment with my regular clinic for a follow-up to this and I promised them that I would.I will have to call on Monday and see if I can get a appointment very soon for that follow-up.The sooner the better.
When I got home,I bathed and I ate a light dinner.I also decided to do some last minute personal PC work.
The depression that I have been feeling lately isn't as bad as it was yesterday.I am still feeling the negative vibes and I am still hoping that I will get out of it soon.I hate feeling depression.It just makes me feel miserable when I want to smile and enjoy life.But I wind up feeling the opposite.I am hoping that this will pass and when it does,I also hope to feel better about myself.
Tonight,I am going out to sing.I am hoping that the night goes over well.I will also have a friend with me to share the fun with.Though I rarely have a bad night,I still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.I do have the feeling that everything will work out fine.Still,I hope.
The only good thing is that the whole thing that happened today had no impact on my SSA struggles.
As for the rest of the weekend,I have made no plans but whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the rest of the weekend.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was a rare Friday off for me.It is the start of the holiday weekend and I am getting four days off,including the weekend.WHOOPEE!I have four days to forget about the hectic week that I had and I am going to kick back and enjoy it.
Though this was my day off,I still had a lot to do.Firstly,I ate a quick breakfast and I went to our regular bank to withdraw some money for my mom.The money is to take care of some bills that my mom would like to get paid.After getting the money home,I registered it all on Where's George and did my personal PC work.After doing all of that,I proceeded to get on with my day.
The next thing that I did was to go and pay one of my credit card bills.Though it wasn't due until Tuesday,I wanted to pay it off sooner than later.It is now paid and I now have only a few more that need to be paid before the end of the month.I also had to mail out a few more bills that my mom needed to mail out.I also managed to get some grocery shopping done at a local supermarket.These were just a few things that my mom needed for the home and I went out to get everything that she needed.I also managed to get a few other personal things out of the way before the end of the afternoon.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though I am feeling okay,I am also feeling a little depressed.Though I have been reporting having good and positive feelings,I have also been feeling depressive feelings as well.But I am feeling hopeful and I am hoping that the spell will pass soon enough.While in this funk,I have been making spelling errors and correcting them at the same time.Again,I am feeling hopeful that the spell will pass soon and I will be back to normal functioning again.I am still eagerly awaiting the return of the hospital practitioner so I can talk to her about the funk that I have been going through and what I can do about it.The only problem is that she won't be back until this coming Wednesday.I am hoping that I can hang in there until then.I can say that being in a funk like this is not very good and anything can happen.I have been thinking that maybe I do need to take some additional medicine to help me.But I will proceed with caution and hope that I will be alright without having to take some additional medication.I have been feeling alright just taking the lone medication that I am currently prescribed but now,I have been in a depressive funk where I am feeling that there is no way out.Don't get me wrong,I know that there is a way out but the feeling of "no way out" is with me at the moment.Still,I am feeling hopeful that I will get out of this soon and when I do,I hope to feel a lot better.
The only positive thing about this is that it is having no impact on my SSA struggles.I am not having to contend with any images or cravings creeping up into my mentality.I am also not having any temptation to watch any pornography in any way,shape or form.In the past,when I was depressed,porn was a coping mechanism but now,I have no craving to watch that garbage.If I do indeed get the temptation,I can simply close off the internet and get off my computer.But at the moment,I am not having the temptation to watch it.Overall,this has been a good thing.
As for the weekend,I will be taking it easy and going out to sing tomorrow night.I am hoping that the night goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the holiday weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty decent day today.
The work shift went smoothly as it should have.There were no messes to clean up when I did the pick-up and that was good.I picked up what there was and I headed for the worksite.
When I got to the worksite,I started a load and hung out at the social club for a while.I browsed the internet while there and I also did my personal PC work.While on the net,I did some research on prescription medications.I checked out what the side effects were and what the drugs were used for.I only did this because the practitioner over at the local hospital was going to prescribe me with something to take alongside the medication that I am currently taking and I was unsure as to let her do that or not.I have been thinking that maybe I should try something else along with what I am currently taking because I am having a hard time getting back to sleep when I have to get up to use the bathroom.Right now,the practitioner is on vacation and I won't be able to speak with her until next week.I hope that I do get to talk with her about this.There are some things that I need to talk with her about regarding the medication therapy that I am currently doing.It is not that the medication isn't working for me,it is.But I am beginning to feel that I might need a little bit more.I will be careful to not let myself be over medicated.After doing that research,I decided to concentrate a lot more on my work.
Before I ate lunch,I bagged all of the clean laundry and after eating,I dropped it off at the rehab center.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I relaxed for a bit while waiting for the time to go see a skin specialist that I had an appointment with today.He was to check me out to see how well the prescriptions that he gave me a little over a month ago worked on removing a skin rash that I had.He gave me a clean report and I headed back home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local gas station to get some gas in my tank.After getting that,I headed for my bank to cash my paycheck.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I had a little talk with a neighbor of mine who was the victim of a break-in on my street recently.She told me what was taken from her garage and how she felt about it.I hated that she was broken in to and that stuff was taken from her.This wasn't right and I am hoping that it doesn't happen in my area again.Crime can be unbearable.
When I got into the house,I registered the bills that I had at the Where's George site.Despite some issues with the internet browser,I managed to get them all on the site.It wasn't easy getting them onto the site with the issues but again,I got them on there.I also managed to hit a bill today as well.That bill came from Erie PA.I will be sending that bill on it's way very soon.
After eating,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work,including posting my day on here.It was a pretty decent day and I did get some stuff done today.
I am not feeling any apparent sadness at the moment.I have had some positive feelings as a result of my talking to my dad and I still have the feeling that everything is going to work out pretty well.I can hardly wait for his visit,which is coming up pretty soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had no problems.I had no cravings nor any images creeping up into my mentality.This is a wonderful thing.I am hoping to get through the holiday weekend unscathed.
I have the day off tomorrow.I am getting an early start to the holiday weekend.I am hoping that the weekend goes well for me.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty decent day today.
The laundry pick-up went fair.I had a mess to clean up over at the rehab center and I had to bag all of the dirty laundry that wasn't bagged.I also had to do it alone as there was nobody else to help me out.Oh Well!But I didn't let it get me down.I managed to get it all over to the work place to sort it all out and have my lunch afterwards.I headed straight home after eating.
When I got home,I headed back out again because I had to go to the laundromat to do my underwear.It was a pretty good load and I needed to get it done because I was running low.It only took a little over an hour but when i was done,I folded it all and I bagged it all in a clean laundry bag and headed back home.
When I got home,I was a little worried about my personals bag that was missing.I called the social club to see if I had left it there and they informed me that I did and I went to pick it up immediately.It is now back at home and I feel better that it wasn't stolen or otherwise.I also checked the inside and everything was in there.I also managed to donate some old books to a local Salvation Army thrift shop before the end of the day.
After eating,I registered several dollar bills at the Where's George site.This was money that I had withdrawn from my bank account that I am putting aside for other things,including to help my mom with the tax bills.Since I still live with my mom,I do have to help her out when she needs it.I don't mind helping her out with these things.It is my duty to help her out.
I am not feeling any depression at the moment.I am feeling okay but tired.It was a long day and I am glad that it's almost over.Overall,a pretty decent day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had no problems with cravings or images.I am not having any temptation to watch any pornography.I am hoping that I can get through tomorrow without any problems.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.I do have the day off on Friday and I can use that time to work on my room cleaning.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
The work day fairly well.It started out pretty frustrating with me picking up a huge mess at teh rehab center before I could haul it all away.I was also late for work as a result of this.When I got to the work site,I found that one of the dryers was defective with the knob busted off.As a result of this,I had to use only one washer.Fortunately,the rest of the day went well despite the frustrations.After I was done,I bagged the clean laundry and I dropped it off at the rehab center.
After I got home,I laid down for a short time because I felt tired.I just wanted to forget the day that had happened and just relax and worry about tomorrow.I laid down for about 20 minutes before getting back up to tuen on my computer and do some more personal PC work.
After eating,I did manage to get a little bit done before I started having computer issues.It was having to do with the internet connection and the browser kept rebooting itself constantly.I had to repeatedly restart the computer to try to resolve the matter.As a result of me having these issues,I am posting this at the public library.I am jjust hoping that the issues will be resolved when I get home.I would hate to keep having these issues.Again,I am hoping that the issues will be resolved when I get home.
I am not feeling any depression at the moment.I am feeling okay and I am hoping that the day will be much better tomorrow after the frustrating day that I had today.Despite the frustration,it turned out to be an okay day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had no problems.I had no cravings nor images creeping up into my mentality.I am also not having the temptation to watch pornography,which is great. I am hoping that I can get through tomorrow without any problems.
Tomorrow is simply a pick-up day.I am hoping that it all works out well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was my day off.I still had soemthing to do.I had an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor in the late afternoon and I had plenty of time to prepare.
Before all of that,I woke up this morning and had a quick breakfast.I also did my personal PC work and this time,it took me only 1/2 an hour to do.After that was done,I did my personal research on some prescription drugs that the nurse practitioner wanted me to try.I just wanted to check out the side effects and how they might work for me if I were to take the advice of the practitioner and give them a try.I still have one more to check out and I will be doing that when I am done posting on here.
Since I had a late appointment,I had an early dinner.It was a light stir fry chicken dinner that my mom prepared in a hurry so I could eat and get on with the rest of the day.
After eating,I got ready for my appointment and I headed over there.When I got to the office,I arrived there on time but had to wait a while.
The session went well.We simply continued with an assignment on anger and everything went well.I had a good talk with her and it was pleasant.I will not be meeting with her for several weeks as she will be on medical leave.I will just have to wait patiently for her return.
After leaving her office,I simply headed for home.On the way,I stopped to get some gas in my tank at a local gas station.My tank is now almost full but still,plenty of fuel.Overall,a pretty good day.
I am not feeling any negative feelings at the moment.I am feeling good that I am now combatting my anger and making up with my father.I am hoping that everything continues to work out for me.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am not having any problems.I am noyt having any cravings nor any images creeping up into my mentality.I am also not having any temptation to watch any pornography at the moment and that in itself is something.I am hoping to get through tomorrow without any issues.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for teh day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
This morning,when I got up out of bed,I ate a quick breakfast and I did my personal PC work.It only took me about 1/2 an hour to do.I guess that reducing my e-mail load by unsubscribing from some of the groups that I was a member of actually helped.I am not on the internet as much as I used to be and I really don't miss all of that time spent.
I stayed home for much of the day because the weather was rainy.Plus,there isn't an awful lot to do in my hometown anyway.I just stayed home and took it easy while watching a little bit of TV and watching a DVD.
When the rain stopped,I only went out to run one errand for myself.I had to buy a few things that I needed for myself.I went to the local Wal-Mart to buy a phone card for my cell phone and I also bought some fiber capsules.I also went to a local supermarket to pick up some herbal tea.After getting all of these things,I went home.
When I got home,I waited for dinner to get done.My mom was busy preparing something and I was looking forward to it.While waiting,I did some more personal PC work and I registered several one dollar bills at the Where's George site.I also added the minutes on my cell phone from the card that I bought.
After eating,I decided to do some more personal PC work and to post my day on here.It was a pretty good day and I am glad that everything went as well as it did.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went well.It was yet another awesome night and I got a lot of positive responses from the crowd for the songs that I sang.I did do a song by Michael Jackson as a tribute to him because it was tragic and sad that he died young and so suddenly.It was a great night and I am looking forward to next week.
At the moment,I am not feeling any depression.I am feeling pretty good.The day isn't over yet and I still have a few more personal things that I need to do.I am thinking of calling my father again and talking with him.I have been having some great talks with him and they have been going well.Again,I am thinking of calling my dad and talking with him for a while.
Reagrding my SSA struggles,I am having no problems.I am not having any cravings nor images clouding my mentality.I am also not having the temptation to watch any pornography.This is really great.I am hoping that the new week will bring some positive results.
Tomorrow is my day off.I am hoping that the day goes well.I do have a late appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor tomorrow and I am hoping that the session goes well.
That was my weekend and my hopes for the start of the new week ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
Firstly,when I woke up,I felt like giving back to the community.I donated a whole bunch of cassette tapes to the Salvation Army after I had ate breakfast.They were very appreciative of my generous contribution and thanked me.I headed back home after that.
I did my personal PC work after I had gotten home.It was only very little that needed to be done.I haven't had many e-mails since I stopped memberships in several online groups that I was a member of.I am glad for that.That way,I can cut my internet time in half and so far,it has been working.I have not been online too much as of late and I am glad that I could reduce the amount of time by simply stopping my memberships in some groups.Most of these groups delivered pornographic styled materials to my e-mail box and as I have stated before,I needed to break free from pornography and stay away from it.So far,I am making progress in that.I got rid of all the pornography that I had and I had to stop my memberships in all of these groups that delivered stuff like that to my e-mail box.I am glad that I am no longer ensnared by porn and that gives me a really good feeling.
I stayed home for most of the day and I went out only once since this morning.I just took a drive around my area and enjoy the nice weather that we were having.I went back home after the drive and took it easy.I really didn't have anyplace to go.
While waiting for dinner to get done,I took a bath and cleaned up for tonight.When I finished,I decided to relax some more because I was feeling tired.I slept for only 20 minutes until my mom called me for dinner.
After eating,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work,including posting here.I am feeling pretty good and I am anticipating the night ahead where I will be singing up a storm tonight.I am thinking of doing my all time favorite Michael Jackson song as a tribute to him because I am already missing him.It is a shame that he died so suddenly and still a young man.I am hoping that the evening goes well for me.I rarely have a bad night,but I always hope for things to go well because you never know what might happen to really ruin things.I do have the feeling that things are going to go well.Still,I hope.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had no problems.There were no images nor cravings creeping up into my mentality.This is a wonderful thing.I am hoping that I can get through the rest of the weekend unscathed.
As for the rest of the weekend,I have no plans but whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the rest of the weekend.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.I got everything that needed to get done accomplished and after I was done,I dropped everything off at the rehab center.
Today,I did hang out at the social club while waiting for the laundry loads to get done and this time,it was a little bit better.I did have another encounter with the same guy that I had yesterday but this time,I was prepared.He had the nerve to ask me to sing a song by Cyndi Lauper but I just brushed it off.I did have some nice talks with a few of the others there and that was something.
Though I was feeling better today,I did get a minor spell of the blues.It just hit me all of a sudden.I was saying things like "Oh Boy" to myself for no particular reason.But I did get over this.I am feeling pretty good at the moment.The weather was nice today despite a passing thundershower that was in the area for about 20 minutes.It was later sunny and a little humid.
On the way home,I did stop over at the bank to cash my paycheck and when I did get home,I decided to throw out some more garbage that had accumulated in my room throughout the years.IIt was hard work and I was sweating most of the time as I was working.I was also killing time while waiting for my computer to warm up and for dinner to get ready.I did get this accomplished and on Tuesday night,all that garbage is going to the curb to be taken away by the garbagemen.Most of what I was throwing out was more pornographic magazines that I had and forgotten about.I am just glad to have gotten this done and I am going to be doing more in the coming weeks as the summer is winding down.I am hoping that the garbage loads will not be as big as they have been since I've started this.I am just glad to have gotten this accomplished.There is still more to be done and I will be doing that in the next several weeks.
After eating,I registered all the bills that I had at the Where's George site and I also did some e-mail work.Overall,a pretty good day.
I am not feeling any depression at the moment.As stated,I did get a minor spell of the blues during the day but I got over that.This has been the only depression that I have been feeling,which is sudden depression and these spells hit when least expected.But again,I am not feeling anything bluesy at the moment and I am hoping that the rest of the evening goes well enough.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am having no problems.I am not having any images clouding my mind nor am I having any cravings.This is contributing to how I am feeling and again,I am hoping that these good feelings last for a while.
I am going to be going out to sing tomorrow night and I am hoping that the evening goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.This hasn't been a very good day for me.
Firstly,the work shift went pretty smooth.I didn't have too much to do and I managed to get everything done in the period of time that I had.After bagging everything,I dropped everything off at the rehab center before heading straight home.
I only headed straight home because there was a Thunderstorm Warning in effect for the area that I am living in and I wanted to be sure that I was home before it hit.
When I got home,I started to do some catching up on some room cleaning and I managed to get 4 garbage bags filled with a lot of paper residue and it was hard to get it done.After I was done with that,I relaxed just as the storm hit.It was a big storm at that and I was glad to be home.
When the storm ceased,I managed to get out to a local Dollar General store to buy some more garbage bags because I am now low on these and I wanted to have more when I continue to do the work that I need to get done.I also managed to get some books gathered together and I am going to donate these to a charitable organization that can use them.I am at the start of cleaning up this mess and I will be glad to get this done.
The reason why I am feeling mixed emotions is because I was shocked at some really tragic news.The deaths of Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson are the main reason why I am feeling down.Plus,I was once again haggled by a guy over at work.This guy asked me a nonsense question in the form of asking if he could play with my antenna.I did say NO to the guy but he kept ranting and raving up a storm and it made me nervous.This was bad enough and the deaths of Fawcett and Jackson also contributed to the way I am feeling at the moment.These people were both a part of my life.I used to watch the TV show Charlie's Angels and I'm also a fan of Michael Jackson's music.These events really didn't make the day any better and the incident over at work was just so insane.I am just hoping that the rest of the day will end positively.I could use a good night's sleep and I am hoping that it will help dispell some of the negative emotions that I am feeling right now.
After eating,I watched the evening news and I also decided to go out for a drive.I stopped to see how my brother in-law was doing.He was busy talking with a guy from the neighborhood that he was in and I couldn't really talk to him.But there are other days and I am hoping to get some more good talks with him.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am going to need a lot of encouragement.I am also going to need the support and advice from all of my fellow human beings at the moment.I don't want to act out nor do I want to watch any pornography.Again,I am going to need some encouragement and support.I am hoping to get some and I just want to get through this difficult time.After having some great days with no depression or temptations,I am now feeling depressed and I know that I will be tempted to do things that would make me compromise or act out.Please fellow human beings,I need some encouragement and support.Thanks in advance.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes better tomorrow than it did today.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
The laundry pick-up went smoothly.There were no messes to clean up.It wasn't very much and I managed to sort out the laundry before I had lunch.I headed straight home after eating.
Before I went to work,I ran an errand for my mom.I had to pick up a couple of things that my mom needed from a local drug store.After dropping the stuff off,I headed for work.
When I returned home,I relaxed and watched another one of the After School Specials that I had on the DVD set that I own.I also managed to clean the bath tub this afternoon,which was loaded with soap scum.It was a difficult job but I managed to get it done.The tub is now clean.
After watching the DVD,I headed back out to a local laundromat to clean my dirty underwear.I decided to give my mom a break from doing that.Not only that,we are also trying to save on water.I also want to show her that I can do this myself even if I do have to spend money.After cleaning the underwear,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped off at my brother in law's to talk with him for a while and to see when he was going to come over to check and fix a few fans that we had in the house.After working on them,they are now working and are in use.We need to keep the house cool during these HAZY,HOT & HUMID days that we are having right now.The house is now feeling cool and that is great.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I decided to do some last minute personal PC work,which includes posting my day here.It was a pretty good day.
At the moment,I am not feeling any depression.I haven't felt any of that for the past couple of weeks.I also have not had any bad dreams nor any recurring ones.I have been feeling good.I guess having those little talks with my father have been doing some good.I know that I have been posting this for quite some time on this blog but I just can't help believing that talking with my father and learning to let go of anger would be beneficial.I am going to talk with my father again this coming Sunday and I am hoping that the talk will go well.I am still looking forward to his visit next month.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am having no problems.There are no cravings nor images creeping up into my mentality.I am not feeling any temptations at the moment.I hope to get through tomorrow the same way.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work day went as smoothly as it could.The only disappointment was that there wasn't an awful lot of laundry for me to pick up.But I managed to get through the day and I did get a lot of work done.After I was finished,I dropped everything off at the rehab center and I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up some pepperoni for some pizza that we have.After paying for it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I installed a window fan up in my room and I relaxed for a bit.While relaxing,I watched another After School special on the DVD set that I own.After watching that,I decided to do some more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a bit before posting my day on here.It was a pretty good day and I did get an awful lot done.
Weatherwise,the weather is HOT and HUMID,which was the main reason why I put the window fan up in my room.I need it to keep my room cool in weather like this.For most of June,we had a mixed bag of weather where it was nice and sunny one minute and the next day was raining hard.But now,we are having some humid days with the possibility of rain before the end of the week.
Moodwise,I am feeling pretty good.I am not feeling any depression at the moment and I am also feeling hopeful.The hopefulness is the result of the conversations that I have been having with my father and how well that they are going.I never thought that I would feel an inner peace from talking with my father.I am not as depressed as I have been and that is really great.I am hoping that these good feelings will last for a long time.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I can still report that I am not feeling any feelings of the condition right now.I am not feeling any cravings nor any images creeping up into my mentality.I am also not having any temptation to watch pornography at the moment.I am glad to be free of pornography and not only that,I haven't masturbated in a long time.I don't know how long it has been since I masturbated last but I know that it has been quite a while.I am feeling really good as a result of this.I also have to keep in mind that I have to take this as a "One Day at a Time" thing.If I get through one day without any problems with SSA,Good.There is still the day after that and so on.I can never think of "Never Again" because that would be unrealistic.The realistic way is simply "One Day at a Time".I am hoping that I can get through tomorrow unscathed.
I am also keeping an eye on another blog here because the blogger,who also struggles with SSA,is going through a rough period at the moment.He messed up and I offered him some words of encouragement.I am hoping that he gets through this.
Tomorrow is simply a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick up goes smoothly with no messes to clean up.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was my day off.I only had one small thing to do today,which was for my mother.I had to drop her off at a local supermarket to get her shopping done.After I did that,I paid a visit to my mechanic to see how he was doing and after a few minutes of talking with him,I headed over to the post office to mail out a bill payment that I needed to get out.
After mailing out my bill payment,I headed over to the supermarket to see if my mom was done with her shopping,which she was.After bagging the groceries,we headed for home.
After unpacking the groceries,we relaxed and took it easy for a bit.It was a pretty hot and humid day and we felt that we needed a little rest after all the work that was done.
After eating,I decided to go out to an anger management group meeting.While I have gotten some stuff out of these in the past,I didn't get an awful lot out of tonights meeting.Because two of the men there who were venting their issues were talking about how they wished that they had weapons and that triggered something for me.Instead of losing my temper,I got up and I walked around the place where the meeting was being held because I didn't want to embarass myself with losing my temper and having a fit.So,I felt that a little walk was a better idea.Idid feel better but there was still the triggers and fortunately,I got through the meeting and I have a few weeks off due to them not having any due to the upcoming 4th of July weekend.
When I got home,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work before turning in for the night.Overall,despite the negative stuff,it was a pretty good day.
I am not feeling any depression at the moment.I have been feeling pretty good.I guess those little talks that I have been having with my father over the phone on Sunday's have been doing me a lot of good.I have not been feeling the blues as much.I used to get really down on certain days for no particular reason and just lull around in the blues for quite some time.But tonight,as I have been feeling over the past week,I have been feeling the opposite and I am glad for that.It has been just positive for me and I am hoping that these feelings will last.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I have had no problems.I have not had any cravings nor images cloud my mentality and that is great.I am also not having any temptation to watch any pornography in any way,shape or form.But again,I know that I will still get the temptation to watch pornography when I least expect it and I will deal with the temptation when the temptation comes around.But for now,I can rest easy because the temptation is nill at the moment.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there.
Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
This morning,when I woke up,I ate a quick breakfast and I did my personal PC work.It only lasted for about 45 minutes.I didn't have too much to do.After I was finished,I shut my computer down.
For most of the day,I was at my sister's house where my brother in-law cooked up a great fish fry.It was really neat.I was filled after eating my first helping.I had a great time eating with my family.I even had a small talk with my father while there.I also told him that I would call him tonight to talk with him again.We stayed at the house for quite a while and we headed for home as everything was winding down.
When we got home,my mom laid down and read while I watched a couple of After School Specials on the DVD set that I have.It was a wonderful day and I had a great time.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went well.The night started out slow but did improve as the night got underway.I managed to get my usual allotment in and I had a pretty good time.
At the moment,I am not feeling any depression.I did have a minor spell for much of the day but I got over it as the day was getting off.I have had no recurring bad dreams nor have I had any flashbacks to my Novemeber accident last year.I am feeling pretty good and I am also hoping that these feelings last for quite a while.I will simply have to deal with the depression when the spells come.But I am just going to enjoy these good feelings for now.I also had another talk with my father tonight and it was a pleasant conversation.I am looking forward to talking with him next week.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had no problems.I am having no cravings nor any images clouding my mentality.I am also not feeling any temptation to watch pornography online or otherwise.Still,I need to be on guard.I know that the temptation to watch pornography will come and I will have to deal with this when it happens.I guess that the good feelings that I am having are contributing to my temptations being nill.As stated,I am glad that I have a choice whether to act out or not.I have chosen not to act out when the desires come and that is good.Plus,I haven't masturbated in quite a while.It has been a long time since I last did that.I am hoping that whatever I am doing right is that it continues to work for me.
Tomorrow is my day off.I do have an anger management support group meeting tomorrow night and I am hoping that it goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ