Tonight,my road to recovery continues to move forward,though still rocky.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After bathing,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up to head over to the church for the morning Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the service were wonderful.I had some wonderful fellowship with everyone before and after the worship service.After it was all finished,I headed straight home and stayed there because there was really nothing more to do as a result of the rainy weather we were having.For me,going to church every Sunday morning makes the whole day eventful.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and after putting on some casual clothes,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I had a quick lunch and watched a DVD while relaxing afterwards.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.
My recovery continues forward although it is still rocky.Then again,when you have bipolar depression,like myself,the road to recovery will usually be rocky.I have to continually tolerate all the emotional ups and downs like I am on a roller coaster that just can't seem to make up it's mind as if it wants to go either up or even down.Aside from bipolar depression,I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I also have alongside it.I still hear things and sounds that nobody else hears.It is really a difficult thing to go through.I am always looking over my shoulder while I am walking anywhere and whenever I do,I usually hear things like footsteps or somebody calling my name,but when I turn around,there is nobody there.I have to continually put up with all of this difficulty.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery will start improving soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another morning erection.I was tempted to masturbate the erection away,but chose to fight it instead.I tossed and turned repeatedly and very aggressively until the erection died down.The fight to resist temptation is never an easy one at all.I only resist because in my case,masturbation will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is what I am trying to overcome and escape from.I don't want to act out in any way as acting out will never give me what I want and need,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with it.I want to feel like a whole man as that is what I am and that I was born to be.I want to feel like a whole man and be a man among men.Though I escaped this temptation,I still keep in mind that temptation can rear it's ugly head when least expected.Though I did receive some wonderful advice from a follower,I am still open to any other ideas or suggestions.Thanks for sharing them.
Tomorrow,I have a group that I need to attend.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing planned.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to press on,though it is still a rocky road.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I wok up in the early morning and bathed quickly.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly got dressed to proceed with the rest of the morning as I had an important meeting that I needed to attend,which was my monthly Men's Network meeting.
The meeting was a wonderful one indeed.After the meeting was over,I headed over to a Salvation Army thrift store in the area and I managed to find some great stuff.After I was done shopping there,I headed over to a library in the area and registered some dollar bills at the Where's George site and after I was done with much of my PC work,I headed back into my hometown and headed over to the local Salvation Army thrift store in my hometown to pick up a couple more things.After paying for those,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple more things.After paying for those items.I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put everything away and I finished my personal PC work.After that,I relaxed and watched a couple of movies in the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some reading from the Holy Bible and also,a study book that is connected with the church that I worship in.I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
In my recovery,I am still having to deal with the symptoms of bipolar depression and it is very difficult to deal with them.One minute I can be up while the next minute I can be down.It is a constant emotional roller coaster ride.Aside from the bipolar depression symptoms,I am also struggling with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have alongside the bipolar depression.It is never an easy road to be on.It is always going to be a very difficult one indeed.I will just have to continue with my therapy sessions and continue taking my medication as directed.I am just hoping that my recovery starts improving soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours to masturbate an erection away when I was awakened by one.It was also another throbbing one as well.I really had to fight temptation to masturbate this erection away.I really tossed and turned repeatedly until the erection died down.Though I escaped this one,I know that the temptation to act out in other ways,other than seeking a male partner out to have sexual activity with,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I just have to hang in there and keep fighting the urges when they come.I don't want to give in because masturbation will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is the identity that I am trying to overcome and disown.I don't want to be a Homosexual anymore and I don't want to act out in any way,shape or form.I am trying to put some advice to heart that a follower gave me,but I am still open to any other ideas or suggestions.Anything is always appreciated.Thanks.
Tomorrow morning,I am hoping to attend the morning's church service and it's accompanying Holy Bible study class before the service.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues on,though still a little rocky.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have to much to do today.I simply went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things that were needed for the home and after I paid for them,I simply headed back home.
When I got back home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
On my road to recovery,I am learning that it is never easy to deal with the symptoms of bipolar depression.I never know if I am going to be up one day or down the next.It is simply an emotional roller coaster ride where anyone who struggles with this doesn't know what the days affects are going to be.Aside from dealing with bipolar depression,I also have to deal with schizophrenic tendencies as well.With these tendencies,I hear things that other people can't hear,which includes sounds,voices or anything else connected with hearing things that nobody else hears.It is a rough road and a very difficult experience dealing with one mental illness and also,to deal with tendencies from another disorder and all.It is extremely difficult.The only things that I can continue to do is to continue my therapy sessions and continue to take my medication as directed.I just hope that my recovery will start improving soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by a morning erection.This also was another throbbing one and I really had to fight to resist this temptation.It wasn't easy,but I managed to get through this episode when the erection died down.Though I escaped this episode,I know that the temptation to act out in other ways,other than seeking a male partner out to act out with,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I just have to keep fighting these urges whenever they come up,though the fight is always a difficult one.I will just have to keep up the fight to resist this temptation every time that it comes around.Though I did get a suggestion from another follower and it is a good one and i am trying to put it into practice,I am still open to any other suggestions from others as to what worked for them.Thanks.
Tomorrow,I have a Men's Network meeting that I need to attend.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues,though still a little rocky.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with he remainder of the day as I had a few things on my agenda.
I first went to my weekly spirituality group.I was looking forward to this with a lot positive anticipation and enthusiasm as I usually do.I headed over there and went right into it.
The group was wonderful.After the meeting,I had lunch at a local kitchen and after eating lunch,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things that were needed for dinner.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
In my recovery,I am learning day in and day out that it is never easy.The struggle with bipolar depression is never an easy one.Anyone that has this mental disorder has to put up with up and down periods emotionally and it is always unpredictable.One day a person can be up and the next day,the person can be down.Like a lot of those who have this,I have to put up with this emotional roller coaster ride.What makes it even harder is that I have schizophrenic tendencies alongside bipolar depression.I also have to try and stay in the right frame of mind and try to keep a firm grasp on reality,though it is also never easy.I am still going to continue my therapy sessions and I am also going to take my medication as directed.I hope that my recovery starts improving in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection.It was also another throbbing one as well.I had to really fight this temptation as I didn't want to give into it like I did twice over the last two days.I had to really hold my own as it was a really overwhelming urge to simply grab my genitals and masturbate until climax.But again,I fought it until the erection died down.Though I escaped this episode,I have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out in other ways,other than seeking a male partner out to have sex with,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I just have to keep on fighting the urges and start finding out what leads me to masturbate and see if I can stop it before it grows.I hope that I can contain this habit for good.I did get some advice from a follower and I am going to give it a try.I am still open to other ideas or suggestions.Thanks.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues,but rocky.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed as I had a few things on my agenda today.
I first had to go to the garage to see why the fan in my car wasn't working the way that it should.My fan will only work if it is on the number 4 and won't work on numbers 1-3.I had to get this checked out and see what had to be done.I wanted the fan to work properly again.
It was only a minor thing and after it was finished,I paid for the work and I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
My recovery in the process of struggling with bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies is not a very easy one.I have to deal with an emotional roller coaster ride where one minute I am up and the next minute I am down.It is very difficult and when you also have schizophrenic tendencies alongside the bipolar depression,it makes it even more difficult.I will just have to keep holding on and hoping that my recovery improves in the near and distant future.I also have to continue my therapy sessions and also continue to take my medication as directed.I just hope that someday soon,my recovery will start to improve again and I will feel better about myself.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,I gave into temptation late last night and early this morning when I masturbated.Yes,I masturbated twice.I gave in late last night and wee early this morning.I really felt bad after these current falls and it made me feel miserable.I was doing pretty good for a while until late last night and early this morning.I don't know what led me to fall two times.In the near future,I have to keep working harder on resisting the temptation to masturbate in any way,shape or form as well as resist the temptation to act out in other ways other than seeking male partners out for the purpose of acting out sexually with them.It is just that masturbation will only reinforce the Homosexual identity and will keep me even further away from getting what I want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that affirmation.I also know that acting out in other ways other than seeking a male partner to act out with will also never give me what I want,either.Again,I am still open to any suggestions or ideas as to how I can do so.Thanks in advance for any encouragement.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I need to attend.After that,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery is still going,though it isn't an easy road.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day as I had only a couple of small things planned for today.
The first thing on my agenda was that I had to drop something off at one of my mom's friends houses.After that was finished,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a few things that were needed for the home.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched some TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
On my road to recovery from the mental illness that I struggle with and deal with on a daily basis,I am still learning that it is a very difficult road to be on.People with bipolar depression,like myself,don't know what their mood will be up or down.The moods keep changing or at times,they stay the way they are for a period of time.It is unpredictable,though I wish at times that I can pinpoint when it might and/or will happen.Aside from bipolar depression,I do have schizophrenic tendencies alongside it,which makes it even more difficult.I just hang in there and I hope for the best.The only other thing that I can do is still attend my therapy sessions and continue taking my medication as directed.I hope that one day or someday soon,my recovery will start to improve and I can feel better about myself.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection out of a deep sleep.It was a really hard one this time and I really had to fight aggressively to resist the temptation to masturbate it away.I had to really toss and turn until the erection died down.Though I escaped this one,I have to continue to keep fighting to resist the temptation to masturbate erections away when I get one.In the past,I used to masturbate any erection that I received as that was,I felt at the time,the only way to rid myself of an unwanted erection.Now that my priorities have changed,I am now seeking more healthy and constructive ways to fight unwanted erections when they occur and to resist any temptation to masturbate them away.I only resist the temptation because I know that masturbation will never get me what I truly need and want.Masturbation,in no way,will ever connect me with my lost maleness no more that having anything sexual with another man will connect me to my lost maleness.Masturbation will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which I am trying to overcome and cast away from me because it is NOT what I am all about as a man or a human being.I have to keep fighting to resist the temptation to act out in other ways other than seeking a male partner out to have anything sexual with.Again,I am still open to any suggestions as to how I can resist and how I can stay strong whenever temptation rears it's ugly head.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with a garage to have them check out my fan as to see why it isn't working at the lower speeds.After that,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues,though the road is rocky.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and bathed quickly.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee to drink.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed as I had a group that I needed to attend and I was looking forward to it.
I headed over to the place where the group was and I attended the meeting.It was an internet resources recovery group and I was looking to get a lot out of what they were using the internet to look for certain websites that help in the recovery of individuals struggles with many mental illnesses.
The meeting was wonderful.After leaving the place,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up several things that were needed for the home.After paying for the items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my road to recovery continues,I do have to admit that when a person,like myself,has bipolar depression,it isn't always easy.Nobody who suffers and struggles with this doesn't know when they will be up or when they will be down.On certain days,I can feel happy and full of life while on other days,I feel down and don't want to do much of anything nor even want anything to do with life.My other problem is that I also have schizophrenic tendencies alongside the bipolar depression and even that can get rough.You always hear things that nobody else hears and that can get you feeling like there is nothing right at all with anything around.The struggle is never easy at all.It is usually rough and rocky.The only thing that I can continue to do is to attend my therapy sessions when they come up and also,continue to take my medication as directed.I am still hoping that my recovery will start improving very soon.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,I was tempted twice in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by morning erections at two separate intervals in the morning.This is the first double whammy that I have had in a long time.On both these occasions,I had to really toss and turn until my genitals softened and I was able to go back to sleep.Whenever I get an erection in the wee early morning hours,I get tempted to masturbate them away as this was the old way that I used to get rid of them.With my priorities changed and since I am in the healing process,I have to resist the temptation to masturbate when this happens.Masturbation will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is what I am trying to overcome and escape from as the sexual lifestyle connected with it is sinful in the eyes of God through Jesus Christ.I don't want to masturbate and I don't want to have the Homosexual identity reinforced by masturbation or by acting out in other ways other than seeking a male partner out to act out with,which I also don't want to do because acting out in any way will never give me what I really need and want,which is the affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that gender identity affirmation.I will just have to keep fighting the temptation day in and day out.I am still open to any more suggestions or advice.Please share anything that you may feel is useful.Thanks.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Happy Easter or Resurrection Sunday.
Tonight,my road to recovery presses onward,though the road is still rough and rocky.I had a very good and eventful Easter holiday today.
Today,I woke up in the wee early morning hours and I bathed.After my bath,I got dressed up to go to church.It was Easter morning and there was a lot at the church that was going on and I wanted to have a share in the festivities.
The first thing today was an Easter breakfast and the breakfast was wonderful.There was some wonderful fellowship with everyone and we had some laughs and some wonderful feelings of love in the air.After the breakfast was over,I hung out at the church to wait for the worship service to begin.There was still some time to have a lot more fellowship as I had some wonderful talks with some of the members as we waited for the time that the worship service was to begin.Once the time came,we all started to enter the chapel for the service and as usual,I was looking forward to the worship service with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The Easter Sunday worship service was wonderful.I got quite a bit out of it.I had some more wonderful fellowship with the members again and after all of that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things that were needed for the home for the dinner we were going to have.After paying for those,I headed over to a gas station to get some gas into my gas tank.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes and I did my personal PC work before anything else.After that was over,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.I also registered a whole bunch of bills at the Where's George site.Overall,a very good and very eventful Easter holiday.
As someone in recovery,I know that the recovery from anything,including mental illness,is going to be very difficult.I know that all too well.I have been struggling with bipolar depression all of my life and I also struggle with the schizophrenic tendencies that I also have alongside the bipolar depression.It is a real tough and rough struggle when I have to put with my emotions going up one day and them going going down the next.The only thing that I continue to do is that I am still attending my therapy session when I have them and that I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am still feeling hopeful and optimistic that my recovery will start improving soon.I do want to feel better and I am determined to feel better.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection.I was tempted to masturbate it away,but instead of giving into the temptation,I fought and resisted the temptation by tossing and turning aggressively until the erection died down and my genitals were soft again.Though I escaped this episode,I know that I will be tempted again.It is not that I am waiting for it to happen,which I am not.I am just keeping in mind that it will happen again when least expected.I still have to keep in mind that masturbation will never get me what I really need and want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that affirmation of my gender identity.Masturbation will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is what I am trying to overcome and escape from.I don't want to act out by masturbating nor do I want to act out in other ways.I am still open to any suggestions or advice on how I can continue to resist the temptations when they come.
Tomorrow,I have a group that I need to attend.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery is still pressing on with hardly anything new.I had a pretty good day today.
This morning,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was finished,I got dressed.I had only a couple of things on my agenda today and I wanted to get them done.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for them,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few last minute things for the upcoming Easter holiday for my grand nieces and grand nephew.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Day after day,I am seeing and learning that the recovery from any form of mental disorder is not an easy one.It is always a very difficult road.In my case,I really don't know if I will be up or down emotionally as that is how it is with anyone who struggles with bipolar depression.In my case,having schizophrenic tendencies makes it even more difficult.The only things that I can continue to do is to continue attending my therapy sessions and also,to continue taking my medication as directed.In time,I can only hope that my recovery starts improving soon.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours to masturbate when I was awakened by a morning erection.It was also another throbbing one.I had to really aggressively toss and turn to resist the temptation to masturbate the erection away.In the past,I simply used to masturbate whenever I got an erection in the morning,but now that my priorities have changed,I can't do that anymore.In my case,masturbation will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is the identity that I am trying to overcome and disown from myself.I don't want to be a practicing Homosexual.I want to do what is right in God's eyes as God and his son Jesus Christ condemn the sexual activity between two members of the same gender.The Holy Bible even says that it is sinful to indulge in such sexual activity and contact with another member of one's own gender.I will just have to keep on fighting the desire to act out in other ways other than seeking a male partner to act out with.Again,I am still open to any suggestions or advice.Thanks.
Tomorrow,with it being the Easter holiday,I am planning on attending church and the Easter festivities that are going on before the worship service.I am just going to take it easy tomorrow as I really have nothing else planned.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues and I am still hoping that it will start improving soon.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I got up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had breakfast and my a couple cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed for the day as I did have some things planned.
I had only a couple of things on my agenda today.The first was that I had to do some grocery shopping for my mom at a local supermarket.I had a lot of stuff that I needed to get and I did succeed in finding everything that was needed.After paying for the items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away in their proper places and I relaxed for a while.
After eating,I got dressed up to attend the Good Friday evening service at the church and as usual,I was looking forward to the service as I have been worshipping at the church since September of last year.I got dressed up and headed for there.
The service was wonderful.After it was over,there was some great fellowship afterwards and and I headed straight home afterwards.
When I got home,I stayed there for the rest of the evening and I got ready to turn in for the night.Overall,a very good and eventful day.
Though I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am taking my medication as directed,I am still in the daily struggle with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.The day to day struggle with this mental condition is never easy as anyone with this has to put up with the roller coaster effect of this.On some days,I feel good and on other days,I don't feel so good.The endurance for anyone struggling with bipolar depression or any mental illness or disorder is always a very rocky road indeed.I will just have to hang in there and just deal with this on a day to day basis,which is all that I can do.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection.I was tempted to masturbate the erection away when I was awakened by it.I again repeatedly and aggressively tossed and turned until the erection died down.In the past,whenever I got an erection,that is what I would do.I would simply masturbate to get rid of it.Now,since I am still in the process of healing from Homosexuality,I try to resist the temptation to masturbate because,no matter if it is emotional or otherwise,masturbation will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is what I am trying to overcome and disown from me.I want to follow the natural law of God as he created man and woman for a reason.God intended us humans,be we male or female,to be Heterosexual.The Holy Bible condemns the sexual activity between two members of the same gender and also,only recognizes Heterosexuality and anything having to do with Heterosexuality.I have to continually keep in mind that masturbation will never get me what I truly need or want,which is gender identity affirmation and the feelings of authenticity that go with that affirmation.I just have to stay in the fight and continue to fight and resist the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form other than seeking a male partner to act out sexually with.Again,I am open to any suggestions or advice on how I can continue to fight.Thanks.
As for the start of the weekend tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues uninterrupted.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had a spirituality group that I needed to attend.I attend this group every Thursday as I always look forward to it each and every week.I went to the group with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group went great.After it was over,I headed over to a local community kitchen for lunch.After lunch,I headed for home.
On the way hone,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some money for myself.After that,I headed over to my insurance agent to pay my car insurance for the month.When that was paid,I headed over to a local store to pick up some candy for the upcoming holiday.After paying for the candy,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched some of the evening news for a while and I got dressed up as I headed over to the church for a special Thursday night Holy Week service.The sermon was to discuss the importance of the Lord's Supper and it's significance in the Christian church.
The service was wonderful.I got a lot out of this and I learned some new things.After some wonderful fellowship with everyone that was there,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to just take it easy and relax for the rest of the evening.Overall,a very good and eventful day.
Though my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts improving in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another erection.I was again tempted to masturbate it away,but again,I fought the temptation.It wasn't easy,but I escaped.I had to really work on resisting this current temptation as it was a really strong and overwhelming one.I really fought by twisting and turning until the erection died down.Though I escaped this one,I know that the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to continue fighting the urge to masturbate an erection away when it happens.I also have to continue keeping in mind that masturbation will never give me what I want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that affirmation.Masturbation will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is what I am trying to overcome and distance myself away from.If anyone out there has anything to advise or suggest,I am open to anything.Thanks.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues uninterrupted.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things that I needed to do.After registering some bills at the Where's George site,I headed over to the post office to mail out some important bills that needed to be mailed out.I also had some stuff that I needed to mail out as well.After doing all of that,I headed over to the local Sears to pay my credit card bill for the month.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up several things that I needed.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I watched some TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues uninterrupted,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am still hoping that my recovery will start improve in the near and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to act out by masturbating in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection that was also another throbbing one.I had to really fight this temptation.I again repeatedly tossed and turned until the erection died down and I fell back asleep.Though I escaped this episode,I know that the temptation to act out in other ways can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to continue keeping in mind that acting out in any way,shape or form will never give me what I want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that affirmation.Acting out,whether it is by masturbating or other ways,will only reinforce the Homosexual identity that I am trying to overcome and flee from and also,to be free from.I just have to keep fighting.Again,if anyone has any ideas or suggestions,feel free to share them.Thanks.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend.As far as the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I got dressed and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day as I had a lot planned.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money and after dropping the money off at home,I headed over to the laundromat to do my laundry.
When I got there,I immediately found a machine that nobody was using and I started my load immediately.After it was done in the washing machine,I tossed it all in a couple of dryers and after they were all dry,I folded and bagged everything.I headed for home afterwards.
On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to drop off a couple of prescriptions and to get my mom some chewable baby aspirin.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I sorted out my laundry and relaxed for a while after doing so.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve very soon.I have been on an emotional roller coaster ride for quite a while and I am hoping to see some progress in this.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to act out by masturbating in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at two separate intervals in the wee early morning hours.I had to really fight both of these temptations as they were really strong and overwhelming.I had to really toss and turn during the first occurrence as it was another throbbing erection and fell back asleep when it died down.The second time,I had to get up and use the bathroom so it died down as I was heading for the bathroom.Though I escaped these two episodes,I have to continue to stay on guard and be watchful as the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form,other than seeking a male partner to act out with,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to work on all my strength and work to try and stay stronger when the temptation rolls around and tries to consume me.I have to continue to keep in mind that masturbation will never get me what I really need and want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that come with that affirmation.I also have to keep in mind that acting out in any way,shape or form will also never get me what I am really in need of and want.Acting out,whether it is by masturbation or any other way,will only reinforce the Homosexual identity that I am trying to overcome and disown,because I don't want to be a Homosexual man.I want to be the man that God intended me to be,which is a healthy and happy Heterosexual.I also have to keep in mind that I have to continually seek God and his son Jesus Christ first and the kingdom of God before all else and everything will fall into place.Again,I am still open to any advice and/or suggestions to anyone out there who has been reading and following every word that I post here.Thanks.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues uninterrupted.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a mandatory meeting that I had to attend.It was a meeting with a group over at the local hospital.I had to attend the group to ensure that I would get my prescription for my psychiatric medication when I have to see the nurse practitioner over at the hospital later this month.
Since I had some time to kill before the meeting,I decided to stop at a local pizzeria to have a couple slices of pizza for lunch.After I was done eating,I headed over to the hospital and waited in the waiting room until we were called into the meeting room where the group was going to meet.
The meeting went great.It lasted for a little over an hour.After the meeting was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I made a couple of stops along the way.I first stopped at a couple of friends houses to see how they were both doing.After visiting with them both,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up some things that my mom wanted me to get.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I sorted out the groceries and put them in their proper places.After that was done,I relaxed and watched some TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to act out by masturbating twice in the wee early morning hours.I was awakened at a couple of separate intervals of the wee early morning hours by erections.They both were also throbbing ones.The first happened at 4:35am in the morning and the next one happened a little over an hour later.I really had to fight temptation here as the temptation to masturbate them away was very overwhelming.I had to really aggressively toss and turn repeatedly to resist the temptation to masturbate these away.In the past,masturbation was what I did to get rid of the erections,but now that my priorities have changed,I have to fight to resist.I escaped as both the erections died down and I was able to sleep for a while after both these intervals.Though I escaped,I still have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on my desires can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in a fight to continually resist the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form other than seeking a male partner to act out with.I have to keep up my strength and continue to fight the desires to act out by masturbating or in any other way other than finding another man to have sexual activity with.I just have to stay strong,hang in there and fight the temptations when they rear their ugly heads at me.Again,I am still open to anything that might have helped those who follow this blog.Thanks in advance.
Tomorrow,I am going to get around to doing my laundry.After that,I have nothing else planned.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up immediately to head over to the church for the Holy Bible study class and the morning worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the morning service were wonderful.I got a lot out of both of these and after some wonderful fellowship after the service,I headed straight.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work.I also had myself a quick lunch and after lunch,I was hoping to get my laundry done today,but the weather was getting worse as it was raining and then it thundered and there was sleet coming down.I postponed my trip to the laundromat until Tuesday.
I went only to the local Big Lots to pick up a couple of things there and after paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while and I watched a DVD while doing so.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.
Though my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,no temptation to act out today.For the first time in quite a while,there were no erections to wake me up in the wee early morning hours to tempt me to masturbate away.Though nothing happened today,I still need to stay on guard and be watchful as the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am still open to any more advice or suggestions on how I can continue to resist any type of temptation.Thanks in advance for any helpful advice.
Tomorrow,I have a group that I need to attend at the local hospital so I can still get my medication prescriptions filled.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day as I did have only a little bit planned.
I only went to a couple of places that I needed to go.I first went to the local Big Lots to pick up a couple of things there.After Big Lots,I went over to a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up a bottle of dish detergent.After paying for that,I headed straight home.I had really nothing else to do as the day was pretty cold and snowy. When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve in the near and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was once again tempted in the wee early morning hours when another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.It was yet another throbbing one.I had to toss and turn repeatedly and aggressively because I didn't want to masturbate the erection away as I used to do in the past because I know that masturbation is an unclean and dirty habit.I also know that masturbation will never get me what I want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that affirmation.Masturbation,in my case,will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is the identity that I am trying to overcome and rid myself of.Though I escaped this episode,I know that the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to continually stay on guard and be watchful.I also have to work on staying strong to resist the temptation to act out in other ways other than seeking a male partner to act out sexually with.I also have that temptation to do that,but I don't do that.God and his sacred word the Holy Bible condemns such sinful sexual activity as he created man and woman for a reason.God intended for us to be Heterosexual as he created man and woman for that reason.I will have to keep on fighting the desires.If anyone has some more suggestions or any other thing that I can use,please share.Thanks.
Tomorrow morning,I am going to be attending the morning's church service and the Holy Bible study class before it.I am also hoping to get around to doing my laundry in the afternoon.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that was done,I got dressed and I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I first went to the place where we have our group meetings to pick up the new schedule.After doing that,I headed over to the public library to print something from the internet.After that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a small thing that was needed for dinner.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while until it was time for me to go to my meeting with the pastor of the church that I have been attending worship services at.I was looking forward to this meeting with a lot of enthusiasm.
The meeting was wonderful.After the meeting,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery will start improving again very soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to act out by masturbating when I was awakened by a morning erection in the wee early morning hours.It was also another throbbing one.I had to really fight this temptation as it was a very strong and overwhelming one this time.I kept tossing and turning repeatedly because this erection was one of the stiffest that I had in a long time.As I have said before,my temptation to masturbate is really strong when I am awakened by a morning erection in the wee early morning hours.I kept tossing and turning until the erection died down and when my genitals were softened,I fell back asleep.I slept until I got up a few hours later.Though I escaped this temptation,the temptation to act out in any other way other than seeking a male partner to act out with can rear it's ugly head when least expected.It isn't easy fighting the temptation to masturbate when you have an erection.I have to continually keep in mind that masturbation will never get me what I want,nor will it give me anything that will help me in my goals to become the man that God intended me to be.In my case,masturbation only helps reinforce the Homosexual identity that I am trying to overcome and disown.Masturbation will never give me affirmation of my gender identity.It also won't give me the feelings of authenticity that go with that affirmation.Again,I am open to any suggestions or advice.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After bathing,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day as I had some stuff planned.
I first went to my spirituality group and as usual,that went great.I got a lot out of it and after that was over,I headed over to a local community kitchen for lunch.After lunch,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up a few things.After that,I went to a local card store to pick up a birthday card for a daughter of a friend of the family.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I was tempted to masturbate it away when I was awoke by that.It was a really strong temptation,but I resisted by simply tossing and turning until the erection died down and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I have to stay on guard and be watchful as the temptation to act out can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to be careful as it can come back with a vengeance.I need to continue to stay strong whenever the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form rears it's ugly head when least expected.I am still open to any advice or suggestions by those who read this blog regularly.Thanks.
Tomorrow,I have another appointment with the pastor of the church that I have been worshipping at since September of last year and I hope that it goes good.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day,though I didn't have too much to do.
After getting some gas at a local gas station,I headed over to a local bargain out closeout store to pick up something.After that,I headed over to a local supermarket to turn in a small amount of empty cans and bottles.After that was finished,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up one more thing.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that I will start improving in my recovery in the near and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted twice in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at two separate intervals of the early morning.The first happened at around 4:15am and it was a really hard throbbing one at that.I repeatedly tossed and turned as this temptation to masturbate the erection away was really a strong one.After several minutes,the erection died down and I went back to sleep.Then,at 6:15,two hours later,I was awakened by yet another erection.It was just like the earlier episode.I had to really toss and turn until the erection died down.I went back to sleep and slept for a little while longer.These were really strong.I had to really fight to resist these current temptations to masturbate these erections away.Each and every time that I get an erection,my temptation to masturbate is really overwhelming.I have to really fight to resist the temptation.Though I escaped these two episodes,I know that the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form can rear it's ugly head when least expected.It is really difficult to resist temptation when you have an erection that wakes you up out of a deep sleep in the wee early morning hours.I just have to stay in the fight and try to stay strong.I am still open to any suggestions or advice from followers.I would like to know what has worked for you and what hasn't worked for you.Please share.Thanks.
Tomorrow,I have my spirituality group that I must attend.After that,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues uninterrupted.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I had some stuff planned for the day and I wanted to get them accomplished.
Before I set out to do the most important thing,I had to drop something off and pick up something at the house of one of my mother's friends.After that was done,I headed back home to take it easy until it was time for me to go to my appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor.My appointment with her was in the late afternoon and so,I had plenty of time to kill before that appointment.
When it came time to go,I headed over there.
The session went wonderfully well.After the session was over,we set up a new appointment and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues uninterrupted,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve soon in the near and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate twice in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by two erections at separate times in the wee early morning hours.In the first occurrence,I had to toss and turn really aggressively until the erection died down.In the second occurrence,I was really hard that time and since I had to get up and use the bathroom,I walked to there until my genitals softened.This was a double whammy for me this morning.Though I escaped both of these,I still have to stay on guard and be watchful as the temptation to act out in other ways other than seeking a male sexual partner to act out with can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to continue to work on strengthening my wits and senses to fight off any temptation.Temptation is a cruel demon indeed.That demon can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I will just have to keep fighting that ugly demon known as temptation whenever it comes around.As always,I am always open to any new ideas on how I can stay strong and stay in the fight against temptation and SSA.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I had some stuff planned and I wanted to get them accomplished.
I first had a couple of important groups that I had to attend.I attend these groups every Monday and I needed to attend them today.
They both went well.After they were over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some money for my mom.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve very soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to act out by masturbating when I was again awakened by another erection.I had to really fight this temptation as it was a really hard one and also another throbbing one.I tossed and turned until the erection died down and afterwards,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this one,I know that the struggle to resist the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form other than seeking another man to act out with can rear it's ugly head when least expected.It can hit anytime.I will just have to keep fighting this temptation each and every time that it rolls around.I don't want to masturbate anymore as I know that masturbation will never get me what I really need and want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that affirmation.Masturbation will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is what I am trying to overcome and do away with.Again,if anyone has anything helpful to offer,please share.Thanks.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up and proceeded to go to the morning's church service.I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and very high enthusiasm.
Both the Holy Bible study class and the service afterwards were wonderful.I got quite a lot from both and the fellowship before and after the service was terrific.After it was all over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and changed into my casual clothes.I did my personal PC work and I decided to go out and run a small errand for myself.
I went to a local closeout bargain store in my area to buy something.After paying for that,I headed over to a local pizzeria to have a slice of pizza.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.It is always eventful when you make going to church a part of the day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that someday soon my recovery will start improving.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours.I was awakened again by another erection.It was also another throbbing one and it also felt really hard.I really had to toss and turn very aggressively so I could resist the temptation to masturbate the erection away.It wasn't easy,but I managed to escape when the erection died down and I fell back asleep.Though I escaped that episode,I have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to stay strong and keep up the strength to resist the best way that I know how.It isn't easy,but I know that it can be done.I have got to keep fighting when the temptation to act out by masturbating rears it's ugly head.I have to continually keep strong,even though I am weak and meek.I am still open to any suggestions or advice.Thanks.
Tomorrow,I have a couple of groups that I need to attend.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues uninterrupted.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I bathed.After bathing,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I only had a couple of things on my agenda today and I wanted to get them accomplished.
I had to go to a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things.After that,I went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things at that store.After paying for the items,I headed straight home.I also stayed there as it was raining for much of the day.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD in while doing so.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues uninterrupted,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that I will start improving in my recovery soon.It has been a rocky road and a very rocky roller coaster ride,but I am still feeling hopeful and optimistic that my recovery will start improving again very soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to act out twice in the wee early morning hours.I was tempted to masturbate when I was awakened by morning erections at two separate intervals in the wee early morning hours.The first happened at around 4 am and I simply tossed and turned repeatedly until the erection died down.The second happened at around 8:20 am this morning and this time,it was another throbbing erection.My only way of relieving this was to simply get up and head for the bathroom as I had to go there and afterwards,I bathed.Though I escaped both of these,I know that the temptation to act out in any other way other than seeking a male partner to act out with,including masturbation,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.Again,though I escaped these two instances,I know that I will be tempted again.Not that I am waiting for it to happen,I am simply saying that it can happen again when it is least expected to happen.I am still open to any suggestions as to how I can keep myself strong to resist the temptation to act out by masturbating or by any other means.Anything is welcomed.Thanks.
Tomorrow,I am planning to attend the morning's church service and also,the Holy Bible study class before the service.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda.I went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something for my mom.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put what I got for my mom away and after that,I prepared to meet with the pastor of the church as that was the most important thing on my agenda.
The meeting with the pastor went well.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve in the neat and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours to masturbate as I was again awakened by an erection that was also another throbbing one.Whenever this happens,the temptation to act out by masturbating really gets strong with me.It is to simply masturbate the erection away.But again,as usual,I tossed and turned,but I also had to get up to use the bathroom and that is what killed the erection as I walked to the bathroom.After using the bathroom,I went back to sleep.This morning,the temptation to masturbate the erection away was really strong.Whenever I get erect,my craving to masturbate it away does get overwhelming.I simply have to fight the desire until my genitals soften.Though I escaped this temptation,I know that I still have to be on guard and be watchful as the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form by doing anything other than seeking a male partner to act out with can get really strong and the desire to act out on this can also be very strong.I will just have to stay in the fight to resist any temptation to act out on these unnatural desires.I am still open to anything on how I can do that.Thanks.
As for the weekend,I haven't made any plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I had only a few things planed for today and I wanted to get them accomplished.
I had a spirituality group that I had to attend.I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group went great.I got a lot out of this.After the group was over,I headed for a community kitchen to have lunch and after eating my lunch,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some money for my mom and after that,I headed over to the drug store to pick up a couple of my mom's prescriptions.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts improving soon in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted in the wee early morning hours to masturbate when an erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.It was another throbbing one and the temptation to masturbate it away was overwhelming.I fought the temptation by tossing and turning until the erection died down.It took several minutes,but it did die down.I went back to sleep afterwards.Though I did escape this temptation,I know that the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form,other than finding a male partner to act out with,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I just have to keep fighting the temptation when it does rear it's ugly head at me.I have to continually keep in mind that masturbation will never give me what I want,which is to make contact with my lost maleness and it also will never give me what I truly need and want,which is the affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that affirmation of my gender identity.I know that I need to make the effort to seek out newer friendships and hopefully,they will develop into something successful,like a healthy male bonding relationship.I hope that one day,I can get that as I so desperately need to have more healthy relationships with other guys in order for me to grow as a man and to just be one of the guys.I am hoping that I will start doing that in the days and months ahead.
Tomorrow,I have a meeting with the pastor of the church that I have been attending worship at.As for the rest of the day and before the meeting,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I had some stuff that needed to get done and I wanted to make sure that they were accomplished.
I went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things that my mom needed.After that,I headed over to a friends house to see how he was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve in the near and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to act out by masturbating in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection.It was a very stiff one and also,it was a throbbing one.I tossed and turned to resist the temptation,but I had to get up to use the bathroom and as I was on the way to the bathroom,the erection died down and when I was finished,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped that episode,the temptation to act out on these SSA desires can rear it's ugly head when least expected.This current temptation was a strong one indeed and I had to really fight to resist the temptation this time around.I know that we humans will get tempted to act out in any way,shape or form.Not only that,the temptation to act out will come when least expected and when it comes,all the strength that we have has to be used to resist that temptation.I am just hoping that I will be much stronger when the temptation to act out by masturbating or in any way comes around.I am still open to any suggestions by anyone.Thanks,
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend.After that,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues,though a little rocky.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the later morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I only had a couple of things on my agenda.I had to pick up something from a friend of my mom's and after that was done,I went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After that,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched some TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues and it is a little rocky,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery will start improving in the near and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am still being tempted at the moment to act out by masturbating.Yes,the temptation is still as fresh as ever.I am still being tempted to do that and I am still fighting and wrestling that temptation.I understand that this is not an easy thing to do as it is easier to give into the temptation than it is to fight it.I have to continue keeping in mind that masturbation will never give me what I truly want,which is to connect me with my lost maleness and will never really give me what I really want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that affirmation.In my case,masturbation will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is what I am trying overcome as it is not what God intended me to be.It will be a bumpy ride,but I have to keep fighting and hang in there for the long haul.I will still need the encouragement and support of all of those who are with me in this fight.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery go on unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed as I had a few things on my agenda today.
I had to go to a couple of groups today and I was looking forward to them with a lot of positive anticipation and a lot of enthusiasm.
The groups went well.After the were over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I hope that my recovery starts to improve soon as it has been an emotional roller coaster ride for me as of late.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to act out this morning when I was awakened with an erection.I was tempted to masturbate the erection away.It was also a throbbing erection.I had to really use all the strength that I had to resist the temptation to masturbate this erection away.I simply tossed and turned until the erection died down and I fell back asleep.Though I escaped this current temptation,I still have to stay on guard and be watchful as the temptation to act out by masturbating can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I just have to continue using all the strength that I have to continue resisting the temptation to masturbate or to act out on my desires in other ways.I have gotten some advice from one of my regular blog followers and I will try to put it to good use.I am still open to more.Thanks.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit to get ready to go to the morning's church service and it's morning Holy Bible study class.
Both the class and the service were wonderful.I had some wonderful fellowship with the members before and after the service.It was yet another wonderful Sunday and I am really smiling at this.After it was all over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes.I proceeded to get my e-mail work done and also,to run at least one errand that needed to be run.Before I did that,I had a quick lunch of a sandwich before setting out to do what I needed to do.
I only went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things that were needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in to watch while relaxing.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more e-mail work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.
Though my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation late last night when I masturbated.I really felt miserable after that fall and it was really a huge load on me mentally and emotionally.I was also tempted in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection.I tossed and turned to resist the temptation to masturbate the erection away and when my penis softened,I fell back asleep.I really need to get some extra strength to resist even more temptations that can rear their ugly heads when least expected.I want to stop this terrible and unclean habit of masturbation and I really need some encouragement and support.Thanks in advance for anyone giving it.
Tomorrow,I have a couple of groups that I must attend.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day as I had only a few things to do.
I first went to McDonalds to enjoy a Shamrock shake as this was the last day.After that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a bottle of dish detergent.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery improves and that I start to feel better soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection.It was also another throbbing one.I really had to fight the temptation to masturbate it away.I really tossed and turned to fight this temptation and I finally fell back asleep when my penis softened.Though I escaped this one,I know that the temptation to masturbate,or to act out in other ways other than finding a male partner to act out with,will rear it's ugly head when least expected.The temptation to act out can really be strong.I will just have to fight and fight when it does rear it's ugly head again.I don't get erections too often,but when I do indeed get one,my temptation to masturbate it away can be strong.Again,I'll just have to keep fighting the temptation and again,I am open to any ideas or suggestions as to how I can continue to fight the temptation.
Tomorrow,I am hoping to attend the morning's church service and it's Holy Bible study class before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day.
I didn't have too much planned for today.I simply relaxed and read for a while and watched a little TV.I had only a couple of things on my agenda today.I had an appointment to meet with the pastor of the church and to do a little bit of grocery shopping.So,I decided to read some stuff while eagerly awaiting the time.
When it came time,I headed for the church to meet with the pastor.
The meeting went great.After the hour was over,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up several things that my mom wanted me to get.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and eagerly awaited for dinner to be ready.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation last night by masturbating.I masturbated last night and after the whole thing,I felt really miserable and felt that I had failed.This is the second consecutive fall this week.It only made me feel miserable because masturbation has a negative effect on my healing from unwanted SSA.It only makes matters worse instead of better.Plus,masturbation won't get me any closer to my lost maleness in any way,shape or form.I don't want to masturbate anymore.Masturbation,in my case,will only reinforce the Homosexual identity and keep me farther away from the true goals,such as being affirmed as a male and feeling like a man.Masturbation is unclean,inappropriate and unhealthy.I want to stop this dirty habit.I am still open to any ideas or suggestions.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day.
I first attended my spirituality group and I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.I headed there with a positive outlook.
The group meeting was wonderful.After the group was over,I headed over to a local community kitchen and had lunch.After lunch,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery improves and that I start feeling better soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection.I wanted to take my genitals in my hand and masturbate it away.But instead,I fought it by constantly tossing and turning until my penis softened.I fell back asleep once it was soft.Though I escaped this,I still need to stay on guard and be watchful.I know that temptation can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to keep fighting the temptation to act out by masturbating or any other way without seeking a male partner to act out with.I no longer want anything sexual with a man nor do I want to pursue anything of that sort at all.I want to steer clear away from anything like that.Still,I would like some words of encouragement and advice to resist the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form.
Tomorrow,I have a meeting with the pastor of the church.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues uninterrupted.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I had only a few things to do and I wanted to get them done.
I was supposed to meet with my sexual abuse support counselor today,but the office called me and cancelled because my counselor had a family emergency and wasn't in the office as a result of that.I do have an appointment with the counselor 2 weeks from now and that is okay.After hanging up,I had to alter my plans today to fill in this cancellation.
Because of the cancellation,I headed over to the Best Buy in the next county to pay my credit card bill and also,to get a few things that were needed for a new video recorder that I bought a few days ago.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues uninterrupted,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts improving soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation today.I masturbated this morning.Yes,I did.I really felt bad about giving into the temptation to masturbate.I felt bad because I know that masturbation will never give me what I want nor will it make me any closer to my lost maleness.I want to feel like a man and act and react like a man.I have to continually keep in mind that masturbation doesn't give me any fulfillment of any needs that I have that need to be fulfilled.I don't want to masturbate anymore.Why I keep doing it is a mystery to me.I want to stop masturbating.Again,if anyone out there has any ideas or suggestions on how I can accomplish this,I welcome them.Thanks.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend.After that,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the later morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to prepare for the day.
I had only a couple of things on my agenda today.I had an appointment to see my general doctor and I was hoping that it would go well.
The meeting with my doctor went well.After leaving the office,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that I will start feeling better in the near and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted early this morning to masturbate when I was awakened by an erection.I really had the urge to grab my genitals and start masturbating.But again,I fought the urge by tossing and turning and fell back asleep when the erection died down.Though I escaped that episode,the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I will just have to keep fighting the urge when it comes around.I do get tempted to act out when least expected.Again,any advice or suggestions are welcomed.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor.As for the rest of the day.I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed immediately.I had a lot planned for today and I wanted to make sure that they were accomplished.
I first went to my two groups that I needed to attend.I was looking forward to these groups.
The meetings went great.After the groups were over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some money and after that,I headed for a nearby supermarket to buy several groceries for the house.After paying for the groceries,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and I relaxed for a bit.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery will start to improve soon.It has been a rocky road for me in terms of my recovery,but I am remaining hopeful and optimistic that it will improve very soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am still also dealing with those day by day.I am still putting up with the desires and my fight to resist acting out on them in any way,shape or form.It isn't easy fighting the temptation to act out,but the fight to resist the temptation is worth it.I don't want my desires to own me nor do I want them to define who I am as a person,mostly as a man.I have to continually keep in mind that my body is biologically hardwired to be compatible with a female as I am a male.I also have to continually keep in mind that God made man and woman,Adam and Eve,and that there are no substitutes for that.I know that God only condemns the sexual activity of Homosexuality as he never intended sexuality to be that way at all.He intended sexuality to be between a man and a woman and not between two members of the same gender.He finds that type of activity immoral,unnatural and inappropriate.God only condemns the activity and not the condition.He helps heal the Homosexual if they really and seriously want to heal.Homosexuals can become the people that God intended them to be and with God,all things are possible.Again,I am still in the fight and I am always looking for any new ways to resist the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my general doctor and I am hoping that the meeting with her goes well.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit to head for church this morning to attend both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the morning worship service afterwards.I was looking forward to both of these with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
Both the class and the service were wonderful.I got a lot out of both of these things.After some wonderful fellowship after the service,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes.I had a quick lunch and after that,I did my personal PC work.
After I was done with my PC work,I headed out to the local Big Lots to check out what they had on sale.I didn't buy much and after leaving,I headed over to the nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up something.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.
Though my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve in the near and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation last night by masturbating.It is the second consecutive fall for me in the past two days.I felt really bad after the fall as I know that masturbation will never give me what I want,which is to connect with my lost maleness.I want to connect to that,but masturbation will only keep me as far away from it as not having any men to confide,trust,bond and connect with on a healthy and authentic manner.I want to do that.I also want to stop this senseless masturbation habit.Masturbation is dirty,unclean and won't give me the fulfillment or satisfaction that I want and also need.Again,I am open to any suggestions or advice.
Tomorrow,I have a couple of groups that I must attend.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ