Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,is still ongoing.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I immediately got dressed up in a suit and headed for church.As usual,I attended both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers in Christ,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed over to the drug store to pick up my prescription and a couple of medicines for colds.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit and did my personal PC work.It was a lot,but I got it done.After that,I called my sister and I arranged to pick up her house key so I can go into her house and do my laundry.
It took an hour and a half,but I got it done,After that,I returned my sister's house key to her and headed straight home.
When I got home,I put my laundry bag away and decided to fold the laundry up and sort it out tomorrow after I get home from my group.After doing that,I relaxed and popped A DVD into the DVD player to watch it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work,Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.Since returning to church over a year ago,I have really been enjoying my worship and also feeling the love,friendliness and acceptance by everyone that I worship with.Though today was a dismal rainy day,I still felt great as a result of me going to church today and really getting my spirituality fulfilled.The church I worship at,the worship is truly a joy indeed and I have been enjoying it each and every minute of going to church each and every Sunday.I have a feeling that these joyful feelings that I have been experiencing are going to continue for a long time to come and perhaps the rest of my life on this very Earth that I am living on.I am also still keeping up on daily Holy Bible readings and constantly praying to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ each and every day.I now know and truly believe that the Lord Jesus and his father led me there.Thanks to them for doing so.
While my road to recovery is still ongoing,it is still a rocky road indeed.I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory on a one day at a time basis.It is never an easy thing to deal with and it can get very difficult.I never how my moods or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggles seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my BPD/Schizophrenia struggle with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and after that,I feel a tad better.It is simply a matter of asking God in his son Christ's name to help sustain me in my struggle and keep me on an even level.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated.I really felt miserable for falling and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling.I also prayed to God in the name of Christ later on when guilt started to set in later on and I felt better after that.This really shows that I really have to ask God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to really help me to fight and resist the urges that come around when least expected.I have to learn to go to God whenever this happens.Throughout the day,I was tempted again and I continually asked God to help give me the strength to fight and resist these urges.I am also asking for prayers by those who follow my blog and read the posts for prayers.Thanks to everyone in advance for them and I am going to continue in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ myself.Thanks to both God and Christ for their help.
Tomorrow,I have a building and improving self esteem group and I am hoping to get a lot out of it.As for the rest of the day,I am going to stay home and simply sort out and fold all of my laundry.I will then relax and watch a DVD or two.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and headed out to do a couple of important things.
I first went to the bank to deposit some cash.After that,I headed over to the local hospital's emergency ward as a result of a problem that I had last night while eating dinner.
The problem was that I got a terrible sting of acid when I swallowed my food and I kept throwing up several times.After that,I went out to get something to eat and ate that with no problems.
I went to the emergency ward and I waited there for several hours.After the wait and some consultation,I got a prescription and left to head to a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick some stuff.After paying for it,I headed for home,but dropped off my prescription to be filled before arriving there.
When I got home,I had a light lunch and did my personal PC work.After it was done,I popped a DVD in the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,this time with no problems,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good and eventful day.
While my recovery continues onward,it is still a pretty rough and rocky road that I am on.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I Simply talk about my struggle with God in the name of Christ Jesus and after that,I feel a tad better as they both help is sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.It was a very overwhelming urge as well.I simply sat up and while I sat up,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Since I was most of the day in the local hospital's emergency ward,thoughts of SSA,nor lusting nor the craving to even manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near orgasm and stopping never even came to me.I was so busy thinking of my overall health and how to get over the hurdles to even think of my struggles today.Thanks God and Christ for that.I went through the rest of the day clean minded and then some.Thanks to both God and Christ Jesus for that.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual as well as doing my laundry in the early afternoon after church.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a couple of things planned.
I first went to the drug store to pick up a prescription and after paying the co-pay on it,I headed over to the bank to withdraw some much needed money and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I fixed myself a light lunch and while eating it,I popped a DVD in the DVD player and I watched it.I also relaxed and enjoyed every minute.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible in as well.
While my road to recovery continues onward,though still rocky,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.While it is bad enough that this emotional roller coaster ride is an unpredictable thing,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult as I also have to put up with hearing things,such as voices and sounds that nobody else hears.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle gets seemingly too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of talking about the struggle and asking for strength in dealing with it effectively.I also feel a tad better after talking about it with them.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.This was the strongest urge that I have had in a long time.This time,I had to really pray hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through this temptation as it was a very overwhelming one at that.I prayed and prayed until the erection softened and after that,I simply got up to use the bathroom as I had to do so and after I was finished,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I am still keeping in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it makes itself to be,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always staying on guard and being watchful as the temptation can come when least expected.I am always at war with these unnatural desires that I have and at times,the fight against them can be very difficult.When it does get very difficult,I simply turn to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through it.I simply talk about any temptation that comes around with God and ask him to get me through in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I feel better.I throw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I feel better as I also ask for strength to help me fight and resist any temptation that comes around.I am always praying throughout the day to ask God to help me get through the temptations when they come around.I am also still asking for those who follow my blog and read it to say prayers for me as well and also,please put some encouraging words in the comments as well.They are both appreciated and Thanks in advance for all of them.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,is still ongoing.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to my usual Spirituality group on Thursday and I got a lot out of it.After that was over,I headed over to a local kitchen and had lunch.After lunch,I stopped at the bank to make a deposit and after that,I got some gas and headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.
After the movie,I was invited out to dinner somewhere and I went to the place where it was.I stayed for a while and ate with the people as well as socialized with them.After that was over,I headed straight home and stayed there for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I put my home suit on and I watched a little TV while relaxing.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery in ongoing,it is still a rough and rocky road.I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I am still attending therapy and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply express how I feel and share my struggles with God in his son's Jesus Christ's name and I feel a tad better as they are now in control and leading the way.It is great that they are there whenever the struggle is seemingly getting too tough to handle and that makes me feel good.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.The only good thing was that it didn't last long.I simply turned to my left side and after that,the erection died down and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I am still keeping in mind that the temptation to act out,no matter what form it takes,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always at war with the unnatural desires that I have and though that is a difficult fight in itself,I am still going to God in the name of Jesus Christ whenever I am tempted to act out on the unnatural desires that I have.I simply throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.I pray throughout the day whenever the temptation comes around and I am feeling better as a result of God and Christ leading the way.I am also asking that those who follow and read my blog continue to pray for me and the prayers are always appreciated.Thanks in advance for the prayers and Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and since I had really nothing to do this morning,I popped a DVD in the DVD player and watched it.After it was over,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things to do.I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a phone card for my cell phone before the service runs out at the end of the month.After doing that,I went to visit with a friend to see how he was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.I also made a couple of important phone calls.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my road to recovery continues onward,it is still a pretty rough and rocky road.I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.It is bad enough having BPD,but I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggle with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggle that I have with this double whammy that I have with God in his son Jesus Christ's name and after that,I feel a tad better.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this current temptation.I sat up for a while and while I was sitting up,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did later give into the temptation to inappropriately touch myself,but stopped before it could get anywhere and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me.Throughout the day,I kept getting that same temptation and every time that I did,I prayed to God in the name of Jesus Christ,his son,to help get me through the temptation.After that,I felt better.I kept in prayer to God all day whenever that temptation arose and after every time,I felt better as the temptation was reduced to nil.I kept it up all day and I felt like a big weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.Though I do continue to pray,I am also asking for prayers by those who follow and read my blog regularly.I am also asking for encouragement.The more that I get,the more it keeps me going.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have a Spirituality group that I must attend and to have lunch at a local kitchen afterwards.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and was a little surprised when I saw that I had an internet connection as my mom's old phone account was closed and cancelled,so my own account could be activated.I got my phone number turned on this morning after I checked it after my shower and was surprised to see internet.Of course,I had to activate my account to get the internet going online.After the activation was done,I did my personal PC work and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day after getting dressed.
Today was a cold,wet and rainy day.I had only a few things that needed to get done.I dropped off a copy of the local free newspaper at a few friends of mine in the area,which is what I do every Tuesday.After doing that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a small pouch of coffee.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues onward,it is still a pretty rocky road.I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.It is a never ending roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with sounds and voices that nobody other then me hears.When the struggles gets almost too seemingly unbearable for me to handle,I am constantly relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle is getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God and his son Christ and after that,I feel a tad at ease.It is simply a matter of talking about everything with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,feeling a tad better.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated.I simply grabbed the erection that I had and I masturbated the erection away.After that happened,I felt really miserable and in my misery,asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ too forgive me for sinning.After praying,I felt better and went back to sleep.But throughout the day,I was being tempted again and again to act out in many ways.I was tempted to masturbate and also,to grab my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or at the point of orgasm and stopping and each and every time that it happened,I asked God to grant me strength to fight and resist the temptations.I simply threw the temptations on God and asked him in his son's Christ Jesus' name to help me fight and resist and after it was over,I felt better.Though I did sin today,I was forgiven and that shows that God hasn't given up nor will he ever give up on me.It is great to know that as I can have confidence that God hears and helps those who really need it.Thanks to God and Christ for everything.I also ask that everyone who follows my blog and read the posts to also continue praying for me and also,please leave and encouraging word or two for me as a comment.Thanks in advance for the prayers offered and for the encouraging words offered.Both are very much appreciated.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,is ongoing.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed as I had a pretty busy day planned.
I first went to my usual Monday afternoon building and improving self esteem group.I headed over there expecting to get a lot out of the group.
The group meeting went as well as hoped.After the group meeting was over,I headed over to the local Social Services building to drop off my Xeroxed copy of my proof of income letter from Social Security and after that,I headed over to my appointment with the female counselor over at the local agency.
That later meeting went great as we talked for about 20 minutes.After the meeting was over,I got some gas in my tank and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I called my nephew up and I drove my car over to his place so he could fix it by putting the brake pads on.After that was,which took another 20 minutes,I headed straight home and stayed there for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I put my sweatsuit on and relaxed while watching a movie that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good as well as busy day today.
While my road to recovery is ongoing,despite being rocky,I am still having to deal and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My emotions and moods are always on a constant roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult as I am always constantly hearing things that nobody else around me hears.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came over me in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection out of a deep sleep.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge,but the urge died after a couple of minutes and I was able to get back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was facing temptation throughout the day and I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these temptations came around.I really prayed hard to God in Christ's name constantly throughout the day and each and every time I did,I felt better as I was letting God and his son Jesus Christ lead the way.I also kept up my recommended Holy Bible readings and listened to Christian music as a way of getting those evil temptations out of me.While I am trying to do my part,I am also asking that everyone who follows this blog of mine and reads the posts to keep praying for me as well as I really need them.They are always appreciated.Thanks to all of you in advance for praying for me and also,a very hearty Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues to go forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the almost mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I hurriedly got dressed up in a suit and I headed over to the church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful as this was also another Holy Communion Sunday.After some wonderful fellowship with the rest of the congregation,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home sweatsuit and relaxed for a while.I was online for much of the time and had some difficulty getting my virus and firewall protection up to date,but after several tries,I finally succeeded.After I had the computer rebooted following the updating of the virus and firewall software,I did only a small part of my personal PC work and then,I called my nephew up and he took me to a local auto parts store so I can pick up some front brake pads and a couple of windshield wipers for my car's windshield.After paying for the parts,we headed back home and my nephew put the new windshield wipers on and said that he would put the brake pads on tomorrow afternoon once I was home from my appointments.I said okay and he left.
When I got back into the house,I finished my personal PC work and after it was finished,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as with me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my road to recovery continues to go forward,despite a rocky road,I am still having to deal and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods fluctuate between good and not so good day after day or at other times minute after minute.I never know how my mood will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about my mental health struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.It is great that I am not alone in my struggle and with God and his son Jesus Christ helping me,I feel a little more at ease.It is wonderful that they do help me out in this struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all of my strength to resist this overwhelming temptation as it was really strong.I sat up for a few minutes and when the erection softened,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it makes itself to be,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I did get tempted later on to grab my genitals for the purpose of manipulating them to get them erect or at the point of orgasm and stopping,but I threw the temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me in resisting this temptation and I kept praying until the temptation was nil and I felt better.Throughout the day,I threw every temptation on God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and I always felt better after doing so.It is wonderful that both God and Christ are there to help me during this really difficult emotional time.While I will continue praying myself,I am also requesting prayers from everyone who follows and reads my blog as they are always appreciated.Thanks to all of you for your prayers and Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my building and improving self esteem group and I also have to meet with the same lady that I talked to on Friday to discuss other things.My nephew is also hopping to get around to putting the new brake pads on my car a little later in the afternoon.I think that I will just stay home and take it easy for the rest of the day onward.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,moves forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
Before I did anything,my locally living sister and I got together to discuss some things with me in regards to a couple of bills.We talked for about five minutes and after I left her house,I proceeded to do what I had to do.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for them,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few more things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also managed to leave a message with a lawyer to get back to me to get everything rolling in regards to some legal work that needs to be done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues moving forward,I am still having to deal with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.My moods fluctuate at times by the day or by the minute.I never know how I will be mood or emotional wise.I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that makes it even more tougher.It's bad enough having BPD,but having schizophrenia mixed in makes it more difficult,because aside from the mood changes,I also have to put up with hearing things such as voices,sounds or other things that others can't hear aside from myself and at times,it drives me up the wall.I still attend my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am still also relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about these struggles with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they both help in sustaining me.It is difficult struggling with any type of mental illness,but with God and Christ leading the way,I feel more at ease a little bit.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and also for leading the way.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection and this time,it was a very overwhelming urge.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge.I tossed and turned and when that didn't work,I sat up and I continued sitting up until the erection softened.When it did soften,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I actually gave into temptation later on in the morning when I manipulated my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect/near erect or leading up to orgasm and stopping.When this happened,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning and after that,I felt better.Throughout the day,as I have in the days prior,I am continuing in prayer whenever that sort of temptation starts to come around.I don't want to do anything that would displease God nor offend him.I simply continue to throw the temptations on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I keep praying until the temptation is reduced to nil.After that,I went on with the rest of the day and when the temptation came back,I prayed again and after that,continued moving on with the day.I feel better now knowing that God and Christ are there to help and lead the way.It is great to know that whenever I talk about any type of temptation that I am having with God,I feel better knowing that God hears,listens and is there to help me whenever I ask him to do so.It shows that I am not alone in my fight or struggle and that is wonderful.I am also still requesting prayers from those who follow my blog and read the posts as I still need everyone's prayerful support.I will also continue praying myself.Thanks for the prayers and Thanks also to both God and Christ for everything that they provide.
Tomorrow,it is church as usual.As for the rest of the day,I just might stay home and take it easy as I have really nothing else planned.But if I have to leave the house for anything,I will leave it.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed,got some gas,picked a friend up and we headed to an event that we were invited to to see what prize we won.
My friend and I both got gift cards to use at Wal-Mart.After we received them,we headed for home,but before that,I had to stop somewhere to use the bathroom.After that,we headed straight home.
After dropping off my friend,I headed over to another event that I was invited to and got another Wal-Mart gift card.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my home suit and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I heated up some soup for lunch and after that,got dressed again to go to an appointment that I had with the same person at the same agency that I met with last week.
This meeting went as well as the first one.After the meeting,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day and I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
While my road to recovery continues to move forward,despite a rocky road,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD,and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD,on a daily basis.My moods fluctuate from being up and feeling good one day or one minute,to down and not so good the next day or minute.I never know how my emotions will be,either.I also have schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my BPD struggles even worse and more difficult.Aside from the BPD emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to contend with hearing sounds,voices and other things that other people can't hear other than me.It is never easy and at times,it can get nerve wracking and can cause even more anxiety.Still,I am continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle as I simply talk about my struggles with God and Christ and they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of taking it to God in prayer and ask to be kept calm and serene.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed,but God and Christ have power beyond what any human therapy can give and/or provide.It shows that they are always there and that I am not alone in my struggles.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.My craving or urge to masturbate really strengthens whenever I get an erection in the wee early morning hours.I simply sat up for a while and laid back down to return to sleep once the erection softened.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into the temptation to touch myself inappropriately,but I stopped myself before it could go any further.I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and after that,I felt better.All through the day,whenever that particular temptation came around,I continued in prayer to God constantly and kept asking him to help me resist the temptation to inappropriately touch myself and manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near the point of orgasm and stopping,but at times,the orgasm does lead to ejaculation and then I feel lousy after that.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help keep me strong enough to resist this temptation and to help keep me at ease.I did it all day and I felt better each and every time that I did.I am also still asking for prayers by those who read my blog regularly and follow it.Please say prayers for me as I am going through this really difficult emotional time that I am in as a result of my mom passing nearly a month ago.I am still learning to adjust to her not being here with me,while at the same time,I am still missing her and still feel sad and lonely as a result of the loss of her.I again ask for prayers to help me get through this difficult time as they are always appreciated.Thanks both to God and Christ for everything that they do and Thanks also in advance to everyone who prays for me.I really need some prayerful support right now.Thanks again in advance for prayers offered and Thanks again to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for the upcoming weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the upcoming weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still a little rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I showered.Since I had overslept,I hurried through my shower and after showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed immediately and proceeded to go to my Thursday morning Spirituality group.
The group meeting was wonderful.When it was over,I had lunch at the group location as they were having pizza.After eating lunch,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put on my home suit and I did my personal PC work.When that was finished,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also popped a DVD in and watched it.
I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.Though I haven't included this in previous entries,I am still getting in my daily recommended Holy Bible reading in and I have also been keeping up praying as I have been tempted to commit wrongful acts of a sexual nature.I have been praying endlessly and continually by throwing every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and talking about the temptation until the temptation is reduced to nil.I have been doing that repeatedly and have been feeling better.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.Day after day,or at times minute after minute,I never know how my moods or emotions will be like.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with hearing voices or other sounds that others can't hear.It really makes my struggles,including my SSA struggles,really difficult.Still,I continue to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle gets seemingly too unbearable for me to handle or deal with.I simply talk about my mental health issues with God in his son Christ's name and they help in sustaining me.While I am still attending my therapy sessions and continuing to take my medication as directed,I still rely on God and Christ more as they give power beyond what any human therapy can provide.Human therapy is good,but the power that both God and his son Jesus Christ is much better as their power helps sustain me and keeps me a little more at ease.It is simply a matter of talking about my mental health issues with God and being sustained.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they offer.
Regarding my SSA struggles,temptation to masturbate came really strong in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge this morning and the erection was really stiff and throbbing.I was also holding my breath as a result of this as I didn't want to give into this particular temptation.I started sitting up and I sat up for a few minutes and while I was sitting up in bed,the erection softened and when it was fully limp,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did later give into another temptation by grabbing my genitals and manipulating them for the purpose of getting them erect or near the point of orgasm and stopping and/or proceeding to masturbate.I managed to stop myself in the midst of that fall and asked God to forgive me for the fall and I felt better.For the rest of the day,I was being tempted like crazy repeatedly and I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ each and every time any form of temptation started to creep up.I simply kept throwing every temptation on God in the name of Christ Jesus repeatedly throughout the day and I felt great.The temptations were reduced to nil and I felt stronger with each and every prayer.While I have been doing that,I am also still asking for everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts that I make to continue praying for me as well.Your prayers do help in keeping me going and also,to keep fighting and resisting every temptation that creeps around when I least expect it to come.Thanks to both God and Christ for being there and Thanks also in advance to everyone who prays for me as they also help in keeping me going.
Tomorrow,I have to meet with the same person that I met at the local agency last week.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the local Social Services office to check up on a few things.After doing that,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery,despite it being rocky,continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I am always on a constant emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too impossible for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God and his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.The struggles with BPD and schizophrenia combination is never an easy one,but God helps keeps me sustained.It shows that I am not alone in my mental illness struggles.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.They truly are helpful whenever I feel down and out as well as ready to give up and surrender.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I simply had to turn to the right side and the erection died down.I went back to sleep after wards and though I escaped this particular episode,the temptation to manipulate my genitals to get them erect or near the point of orgasm and stopping started to come over me as I had gotten up out of bed.I was still feeling tired and I was really tempted to grab my genitals and start playing with them.When this happened,I simply took it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I talked about the temptation and asked him for strength to fight and resist this temptation and I continued doing that throughout the day as the temptation to play with myself kept coming back as well as the urge to fantasize and masturbate to fantasies involving other men and such.I simply kept throwing everything on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I felt better.I also did that all day yesterday and each time I did that,I felt better and relieved.Prayer does work if you give it a try and I am learning that more and more each day.It again shows that I am not alone in my struggles with SSA and that I am also not alone in my fight to resist any temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,which I willfully refuse to let define me nor dictate to me as to how I will act.Thanks to both God and Christ for being there for me and also,for getting me through each and every sort of sexual temptation.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group that I have to attend and lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things planned.I first went to the post office to mail out an important bill payment and after that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a gallon of milk.After that was paid for,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues onward,I am still on a rocky road that will be rocky for a while.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood nor my emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.One day or one minute,I can be up and feeling good,while the next day or minute,down and not so good.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.At times,the struggle does feel seemingly unbearable.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,they help in sustaining me.It does show that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all of their help and for simply being there.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I simply turned to my right side and the erection simply died down and after it softened,I went back to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I was again tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or at the point of orgasm and stopping,which I gave into,but stopped myself.I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for doing that unclean thing and after that,I felt better.Though yesterday I was tempted many times and I did throw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ through the day,I still gave into that unclean habit of touching myself inappropriately,but again,I stopped myself.Though I did ask God to forgive me and I do believe wholeheartedly that I am forgiven,I have to keep working on resisting this sort of temptation and every time that I am tempted,simply throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and ask for help and strength to resist.I need to do that every time that I am tempted and not just give into that and later ask to be forgiven.It takes more strength to throw every temptation on God in his son Christ's name than it is to give in and ask for forgiveness later after giving in.I am again asking for prayers by those who regularly follow my blog and read every post here.Please pray for me that I be strong to resist the temptation to give into any temptation and also have the strength,faith and courage to throw every temptation on God in Christ's name and ask for those things.Thanks in advance for the prayers as they are always appreciated and also,Thanks both to God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,moves forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda today.I first went to my mandatory medication management group at the local hospital,which was only an hour and the meeting went pretty good.After that,I headed over to a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of batteries.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and got ready to head over to my niece's house for dinner.
The dinner was wonderful and I was full after eating a few tacos.After that,I headed straight home and stayed there for the remainder of the day as I had nothing else to do.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery moves forward,despite it being a rocky road,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.On one day,I could be up and feeling good while the next day,down and not so good and at times,it happens in the same day.I never know how my mood will be nor my emotions.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier either.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle gets too seemingly unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggles with God and his son Christ Jesus and they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of talking to God about the struggle and asking them for help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the late morning by masturbating.Yes,there was lusting involved as well.After that fall,which did bring me down,I asked God in the name of Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and after that,I felt better.I was still being tempted throughout the day and I kept praying to God for strength to help me resist these temptations to act out by masturbating or by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or at the point of orgasm and stopping,which led to the masturbation.I did ask God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to forgive me and I do believe that I am forgiven and that my sins are forgotten by God.I still need to work on praying to God more in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these temptations try to overwhelm me.I need to go to them more and ask for strength to fight and resist these terrible urges.I also aks for prayer from those who do follow and read my blog.Prayers are always appreciated.Thanks in advance for them and also,Thanks to God for forgiving my sins and also,Thanks to his son Christ for being the mediator between God and man on Earth and also,for dying for my sins and in his name,for his father forgiving my sins.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,is still continuing on.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After some fellowship with the members and also getting some lunch at a charity chicken barbecue,which another member of the church bought for me,I headed straight home to eat it and after that,I relaxed and listened to a little bit of music before getting on to doing my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
For dinner,I was supposed to go over to my niece's house for tacos,but her eldest daughter twisted her ankle accidently and since this happened,we postponed the taco dinner until tomorrow.I then proceeded to heat up something in the oven and after it was done cooking,I ate and I relaxed for a while and watched a little TV.I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.
While my recovery continues on,it is still a pretty rocky road as I am still trying to recover from my mom's passing.It won't be easy,but I know that the pain will pass in time.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.It is never an easy thing to deal with.I never know how my moods or emotion will be from one minute to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my recovery even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of taking it to God in prayer and asking them for help in keeping me at ease and asking to help me deal with this effectively and after that,I feel a little bit better and a little more at ease.It shows that I am not alone in my BPD/Schizophrenia struggles.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,which didn't last too long as I started to get up and after it died down after a short time,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give in later on when I was touching myself and manipulating my genitals for the sake of getting them erect or near orgasm and stopping.I asked God to forgive me for that and after that,I felt better.I have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it takes,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I never know what form it might take and when it does come around,I am always fighting to resist the urge and the urge to give in can be very overwhelming and strong.I need to learn to take the temptations to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus a lot more and ask for more strength to fight and resist these urges as giving into any temptation is sinful and also,unfulfilling.I simply ask God to forgive me when I do give in and though I feel better after receiving God's gift of forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ,I have to analyze myself and make sure that I don't fall the same way that I fell at the time that I did.I need to really throw these temptation onto God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and ask them for help in helping me to resist these terrible temptations.I am also asking for prayers by those who follow and read my blog posts and everything.Please pray for me whoever reads this blog of mine.Thanks in advance for prayers offered and also,Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have a mandatory medication management group that I must attend.As for the rest of the day,I have made no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still a little rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in mid morning and showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a small thing planned for today.
Today,since the weather wasn't too decent,I decided to simply go to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed over to a local Salvation Army thrift store to look around,but couldn't find what I was looking for.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and I relaxed while listening to a little music.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues onward,despite it being a little rocky,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my emotions or my mood will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw it on God in the name of Christ Jesus,his son,and after that,I feel a tad better as a result.It shows that I don't have to go it alone in this struggle and that is great.It is wonderful that I can talk about this with God and his son and feel a little bit better knowing that they are there to help me out and keep me sustained.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another throbbing erection.I simply turned on my right side and the erection died down and I went back to sleep.Later on,in the later morning,I gave into temptation by starting to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or to go to the point of orgasm and stop and yes,there was some lusting involved,but I stopped myself and I asked God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that I felt better.Though I escaped the early morning episode and I was forgiven by God for that later giving into temptation,I still have to keep in mind that Satan is on the rampage when it comes to getting people to disobey God's perfect laws and simply indulge in all the sexual sin that the world,including that so called "Gay" lifestyle,has to offer.I am always fighting these urges to sin and though I did stop myself from one incident earlier,I have to try to ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me escape these dreaded and terrible urges.I have to keep in mind that God never intended for sexuality to be used and abused the way that they world is using and abusing it.I have to really ask God in the name of his son Christ Jesus for strength to fight and resist these urges.A wise man once said that "It takes more strength to ask for help in how to resist a sinful habit rather than go it alone and hope for the best".,or something like that and I have to keep that in mind.I am now going to constantly ask God and Christ to help me resist these terrible urges.I really need all the help and strength that only they can give.Thanks to both God and Christ for being there for me and again,I will be asking for help constantly to beat these dirty and unclean habits and kick them to the curb once and for all.I am also requesting prayers from those who regularly read my blog.Thanks in advance for everything.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual,including the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though rocky,continues to move on.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only one thing on my agenda for today.I had an appointment to meet with some people who want to prepare me for living on my own and hopefully,find a good lawyer that isn't too costly so I can transfer the house in my name and continue living in the house on my own.My sister who lives locally was also a part of the talk with them and we all talked about how we are going to work all of this out.
The meeting went pretty good and wasn't too long at all,either.After the meeting was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to move on,it is still a rocky road.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that with the territory.I never how my emotions,in particular my moods,will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have to deal with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that makes the struggle even more difficult.It also makes my SSA struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggles with God and his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of letting both God and Christ take the lead and helping me deal with all the psychological aspects of having any type of mental disorder.It is great that they are there to help me and that I am not alone here.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I simply turned to my right side and the erection died down and I was able to sleep the rest of the night.Though I did escape this episode,I am still staying on guard and being watchful as the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in a fight with these unnatural desires and at times,the fight might even try to wear me out.I will never give Satan what he wants.He wants me to surrender to these desires and act out on them,but I willfully refuse to do that.I am simply going to try and continue to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggles gets really overwhelming and the temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have is also really overwhelming.I simply throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I do sin by giving into ant type of temptation,I simply ask God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the sin is forgiven and forgotten and I move on.I am still requesting that prayers be said on my behalf so I can continue to fight and win with God's help.Prayers of all kinds are always appreciated.Thanks in advance for prayers offered and also to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning Spirituality group,which I was looking forward to.
The meeting was wonderful.After it was all over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after I was finished,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched some TV for a while and even listened to a little bit of music.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.It is never and easy thing to deal with.I never know how I will be emotions or mood wise from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am still also continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I feel a tad better as they help in sustaining me.The struggle is still a very difficult one,but with God and Christ taking the lead,it is a tad easier.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and stayed sitting up until the erection softened and I went back to sleep when it did.Later on,I was again tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or at the point of orgasm and then stopping and that was the toughest one to resist.I did escape both of these episodes,but the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.It comes in many forms and I have to stay on guard and be watchful whenever they start to come around.I never know what form that the temptation takes and I have to be watchful as I never know how it will be.I will continue to also rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the temptations seem to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw any temptations on God and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I ever do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to forgive me and after that,my sins are forgiven,forgotten and I can move on.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
Tomorrow,I have to meet with somebody in regards to getting legal help in regards to the house that I am living in.As for teh rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move on.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a couple of things planned.
I had to stop at a local aid office to drop off an aid application in hopes of getting additional aid that I really need and also to discuss other things that I had to talk about.After meeting with them,I headed straight home as I had nothing else to do.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and listened to some music and watch a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery moves on,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my emotions or my mood will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my struggle with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God and Christ and after that,they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of sharing how I feel or anything else with God and Christ and their help in making me feel more stable and sustained.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation early this morning when I masturbated.It was terrible.I really felt down for a while and also ashamed of myself as a result of this fall.This was the second fall for me in the last few days.I don't know what could be wrong with me as I am falling left and right.I asked God to forgive me for my sins in the name of Jesus Christ and I did feel better afterwards.I am just going to have to try and work harder at going to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ for even more help.I am also asking for prayers by those who continue to follow my blog and read the posts that I write here.Please pray for me everyone who follows this blog of mine as I really need then right now.I would really appreciate them.Thanks to all of you in advance for them.I will try and do my part as well.Thanks again.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I need to attend and I also plan to stop at a local kitchen for lunch.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,though still rocky,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a couple of things planned.
I had an appointment to meet with a caseworker at a local office.The appointment was prepared for me ahead of time a few days ago and I was looking forward to this.I headed over to the local office.Before that,I went to the post office to mail out an important bill payment.
The meeting went as well as expected.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something that I needed.After paying for it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues to go forward,I am still having to deal with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood or emotions will be.I can be up and feeling good one day or one minute,while the next day or minute,down and not so good.It is a very complex ride of emotions.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult as I am always putting up with hearing things or sounds that nobody else hears.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and Christ for all of their help.I simply talk about my BPD struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.The struggle with any type of mental disorder is never an easy one,especially when you are someone,such as myself,with the diagnosis that I have.It is never an easy thing to deal with,but talking about the struggle with God and his son Jesus Christ does make it a tad easier as they help in keeping me more at ease so I don't go up the wall(so to speak)or goo beyond any more that I can bear.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all their help as they give strength beyond what any human therapy can give.Thanks again to both God and Christ.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation as it was very overwhelming.I simply sat up for a while and didn't lay back down until the erection softened.After it did,I laid down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I am still getting tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have in many ways.There are lots of ways that anyone who struggles with SSA can act out on the unnatural desires that they have and it is not just going out to seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them.A person who struggles with SSA can get tempted to masturbate or to watch porn or both.They can also get tempted to fantasize with or lust after other members of their own gender.The ways are very numerous.I get tempted to do all of these things and it is never an easy thing to deal with when temptation knocks on the spiritual door to get anyone to act out on the unnatural desires that one has when struggling with SSA.I am still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for it's own good.I simply throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and the temptation is reduced to nil.It is simply a matter of talking about the struggle with God and asking for help in resisting the temptation.After that,I can move on as the temptation is reduced to nil.If I ever do give into any type of temptation,I simply ask God in the name of Jesus Christ too forgive me and after that,I feel better as my sin is forgotten by God as the slate is wiped clean.God forgives over and over as he and his son are both very loving indeed.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues to go as it goes.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first called the garage to get an estimate on car repair as I need to get it repaired in order for it to pass inspection.After getting that,I called my niece up to see how she was doing as she has been sick for a while.She said that she still wasn't feeling good and I offered to do her grocery shopping for her as a favor as I had nothing else to do as a result of it being a holiday and I didn't have a group to go to.She really appreciated the offer and I went and did the shopping.
Before heading for the store to do the shopping,I left a note for a friend who I have been trying to get a a hold of,but keep getting their voice mail,with me asking them to call me the minute that they read the note.After that,I did the shopping.
After the shopping was done,I headed back home to put all the groceries away and after I did that,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.Since I had no group meeting today,I felt that it was a good way to loosen up and enjoy myself.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go as it goes,I am still,on a daily basis,having to deal with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my emotions or how my mood will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.It is never an easy thing to deal with,which can get pretty tiresome at times.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I still continue my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as direction.I am still also relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggles with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they help in sustaining me.With them leading the way,I feel better and I feel more at ease.It shows that I am not alone in my struggles.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation by masturbating early this morning.It was mostly emotional,though there was also a little bit of lusting involved as well.After the fall,I asked God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I felt better as a result of me being forgiven and that the slate is wiped clean by God,who forgets all sins confessed as he forgives them.As a result of a death in my family,my emotions are really in a tizzy as a result of it.Plus,I am thinking more and more about sinful stuff as I am now in this state of utter emotional disarray.The only thing that I really regretted as that I didn't go to God in the name of his only begotten son Christ Jesus when I was being tempted.Don't get me wrong,I do sincerely believe that I am forgiven for my sins and I am not going to dwell on the failure.But I have to learn to turn to God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever I am being tempted to act out in many ways.I am asking for prayers from those who have been following my blog and reading the posts.I really needs prayers and support right now as I am desperately trying to get out of this emotional rut that I am currently in.Please pray for me as I am going through all of this.I really need all the prayerful support that I can get.Thanks to all of you in advance for prayers offered.I also ask that you pray that I go to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever I am being tempted.Thansk again in advance for prayers offered and all the support that I can get.
Tomorrow,I will be meeting with a case worker to help me fill out an aid application and also,to help me get the aid that I desperately need.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still a little rocky,continues to move forward.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit to head over to church for the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.I headed there with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.Now that I am a member of the church again,I had my first communion and it was wonderful.After some terrific fellowship with all the other members,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to pick up a couple of prescription refills and a couple cans of soup.After paying for them.I headed straight home.
When I got home,I had a light lunch of the soup and after eating lunch,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I did the dishes and straightened out my bed as well as made it.I laid down for a while and I listened to some music.I just wanted to relax and take it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and after that,I watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.For me,going to church every Sunday always makes the day eventful.
While my recovery continues to move forward,despite it being a rocky road,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood or any emotions that I have will be from one minute to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.It is a very tough thing to deal with.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still in therapy and I am still taking my medication as directed.Even when it might seem to be getting too difficult for me to handle,I still rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever that happens.I simply talk about my mental health struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I also ask for help in sustaining me from it all and after that,I feel a tad better.It is simply a matter of talking with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and letting them keep me at ease and under their good care.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and their help in sustaining me.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I sat up for a while and while doing that,the erection softened and I went back to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that I will be tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.The temptation,no matter what form it takes,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always at war with these unnatural desires that I have and the war at times can get ugly.There are also times that I feel like surrendering to these desires and go out and act out on them,but I willfully choose not to do that.Why?Because that is what Satan wants me to do.Satan wants me to abandon what God has set forth in his law and go out and live my life as the unnatural desires that I have want me to.When that happens,I turn to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to ask for strength to keep me on the path to restoration and also,to keep me in his word and to help me keep to his natural and perfect law for mankind through his sacred and blessed word,the Holy Bible.I simply throw any temptation on God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and after that,I feel better knowing that I am forgiven and my sin is forgotten by God.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,since it is a holiday and I have no group,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hops for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still a little rocky,continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and headed over to my Men's Network group meeting and I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The meeting was wonderful and after it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up a jar of pizza sauce and after paying for that,I headed over to a local supermarket the minute that I got back into town.After paying for the items that I purchased,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my home suit and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I had myself some lunch before setting up a stereo system that I have been meaning to set up for a long time.After that was done,I tested it out and it works beautifully for me to enjoy forever.I simply relaxed and listened to some music for a while and a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues to move forward,the road will still be rocky for a while as a result of my mom passing away two weeks ago.It is going to be quite a while for me to adjust to her absence from my life.I actually lived with her in the same house until the day that she died.I am now here all alone in the house and I am hoping that soon,all the legal business will be over and this house will be mine to live in until the day that I die.I am also still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I still go to therapy and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.When that happens,I simply turn to God in prayer and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of having both God and Christ handle everything as they provide power beyond what any human therapy can give.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do for me.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This urge was overwhelming and I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge.As usual,I started to sit up in bed and while I was sitting up,the erection softened and after it was fully dead,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I am still staying on guard and being watchful.The temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it makes itself to be,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always on guard and being watchful as that temptation can rear it's ugly head whenever possible.At times,I feel like throwing in the towel and surrendering to the desires that I have,but I willfully refuse to do that as that is what Satan wants me to do.Whenever I feel like doing that,I still turn to God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle is trying to get the better of me.I simply throw any temptations on God in the name of Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.It is simply a matter of throwing everything on God in the name of Jesus Christ,his son,and having that temptation reduced to nothing.If I do ever give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and after that,I feel better as God has forgiven and forgotten my sins.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for being there and for helping me get through any form of temptation.Thanks again.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual,including the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,though still rocky,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had some things planned.
I had to go to another local organization to help me handle some legal stuff concerning the house that I am still currently living in and see if they could help me locate a good lawyer for that.I made an appointment with them and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local kitchen to have lunch and after eating the lunch,I headed straight home
When I got home,I relaxed and listened to some music while doing so.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.It is never an easy thing to deal nor struggle with.I never how my emotions nor mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable or impossible to deal with.I simply talk about the issues and the matter of my mental illness struggles with both God and Christ and they help sustain me.It is simply a matter of being sincere in my heart and simply asking them to help get me through all the emotional roller coaster rides and all the noises and things that only I can hear and always looking over my shoulder to see what is there,only to find nothing.Still,I am going to continue relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this happens and continue to ask them to help sustain me in this.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning when I masturbated an erection away.After the episode,I really felt bad for doing that and I asked God to forgive me for doing that in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I felt better.The roots for the fall is simply still feeling the mixed emotions of everything that has been happening.From my mother getting sick,her passing away and all the emotions that have been reeling through me as a result of that and yes,there was a tad lusting involved as well.Though I do believe that I was forgiven and I can move on,this make me more determined to stay on guard and be watchful as the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it takes,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.It did this morning and it was an ugly fall at that.I also have to ask God to give me the strength to really resist these urges and also to ask him to help sustain me.I also have to learn not to let any emotions get the better of me so it doesn't lead to even more falls.I always feel bad whenever I fall,but though I do,I do still believe that I am forgiven when I ask to be forgiven.I am also asking for prayers and support while I am still going through a difficult time in my life as I am working to get over these emotional issues that have been plaguing me as of late.I will continue praying to God in the name of Jesus Christ in the meantime,but I stll ask for prayers by those who follow my blog and who read the posts that I write on this blog.Thanks in advance for prayers offered and Thanks also to God and Christ for all of their help.
Tomorrow,I have a men's meeting that I must attend.As for the rest of the weekend,it will be church as usual,but I still haven't made any other plans other than that.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,is still ongoing.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 3/4 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first had a spirituality group that I needed to attend.I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.I headed over there early as I had an appointment to talk with someone at the agency where the group was being held before the meeting was to start.
After meeting with that person at the agency,where he helped me partially fill out an aid form,I attended the group meeting.
The group meeting was wonderful.After the meeting was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after that,I headed over to the local hospital to pick up an extra prescription refill and I also did some shopping at a nearby Dollar Tree store.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped the stuff off and I headed out again.I went to pay a visit to a friend to see how he was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.I also finished my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery is still ongoing,despite a rocky road,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still continuing my therapy and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and after that,I feel a tad better as they help sustain me.It is simply a matter of putting the matter in God's hands and after that,letting him and his son Jesus Christ take the lead.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.It was yet another overwhelming temptation.I had to really use all the strength that I had to fight and resist this temptation.I simply sat up for a while and stayed sitting up for only a few minutes and when the erection died down,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.It comes in many different forms,but they are all terrible.I am always at war with these unnatural desires that I have and at times,I feel like surrendering to them,but I refuse to do that,as that is what Satan wants and I am not giving him that satisfaction.I simply continue to take the matter of my struggles to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and have them lead the way.I simply throw any temptations on God and ask him in his son Christ's name to get me through the temptation by giving me even more strength to resist and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.But if it should ever happen that I give into any type of temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning by giving into the temptation and after that,I feel better knowing that I am forgiven and the sin is forgotten by God.It truly shows that I am now alone in my struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for being there and for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I am heading for a local office to help out with some legal problems.As for the rest of the day,I have not made any plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ