Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I took out a drive out to find a particular country road as I am heading for a charity spaghetti dinner at a church out there on Saturday.After finding the road and the church where the dinner will be held,I headed back home and when I came back into the city,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and to show him what I recently obtained.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I even managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still,on a daily basis,having to deal with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods and emotions change by the day or times,by the minute or moment.I never know how my moods and emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my recovery from BPD even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle that I have seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I don't have to suffer alone and that is great.Both God and his son Christ Jesus help in sustaining me and keeping me on an even keel throughout this particular struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This time,the urge to grab my genitals and masturbate them was really overwhelming.I simply sat up for a while and I didn't lay back down until the erection softened.When it did,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I did give into a later temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them nearly erect and/or fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping.When I did that,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that particular temptation and I did feel better.Though it has been over a month since my mom passed away,I am still going through a lot of painful,difficult and very complex emotional patterns as I am still continuing to work to adjust to the loss of my mom and being on my own.My moods and emotions have really been hit or miss and it has been making my struggles with SSA pretty rough.I am also getting the temptation to go out and seek other men for the purpose of acting out sexually with them,but as I stated in previous posts,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than give into that particular temptation.Throughout the day,I am throwing every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and each and every time I do that,the temptation is reduced to nil and I feel better.If the temptations come back,I throw them on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ again and the same results come back as the temptations are reduced to nil.I am also still asking for prayers from those who have been following my blog and reading my blog posts.I am also asking for encouraging words of support to get me through this really difficult time.I will also continue in prayer myself.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend and I am also hoping to have lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still on the rocky side,continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did 3/4 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.I had a few things planned and I wanted to get them done.
I first went out to put a new job application in at the place where I went to vote.After that was done,I headed over to the post office to buy a money order and I went to pay the first installment of my car insurance today to get the policy started for this period.After paying the installment,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I finished my personal PC work and I had a light lunch before going out to shop and pick up a few things that I needed for the house.After that,I headed straight home and I stayed home for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I relaxed and got ready for the coming of the lawyer who I am hoping will represent me in the process of getting the house that I live within in my name.My sister sat in the meeting and also talked with the lawyer and I will know in a few days if he will take the case.After he left,my sister left as well and I decided to get my meal cooking.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well and that was great.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride along with it.I never know how my moods or emotions will be.They can be up and I am feeling good one day or one minute and at times,down and I am feeling not so good the next day or minute.It is a very complicated emotional pattern that I have to go through constantly.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the complicated emotional pattern,I also have to put up with hearing sounds and voices that nobody other than me hears.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about my BPD/Schizophrenia struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better as they help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone my struggle and that is great.It is wonderful to know that God and his son Christ Jesus are there to help me along and that I don't have to struggle alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened out a deep sleep by another throbbing erection.I sat up for a while until the erection softened and after that,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after getting out of bed by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,but I stopped and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for that.Throughout the day,I was tempted to act out in a lot of ways and I kept throwing the temptations on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ by talking endlessly about them and every time that I did,I felt better.The temptations were reduced to nil each and every time that I talked to God about them.I also felt like a giant weight had been lifted off of my shoulders each and every time I prayed to God and threw the temptations on him.It is great that God and his son Jesus Christ are there whenever I am being tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and that they are there to help me be rid of them.I am also still asking for prayers by those who follow my blog and read the posts.I am also asking for words of encouragement to help keep me going.Thanks in advance for the prayers and encouragement and Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide and for being there to get me through any temptations that come around.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,is ongoing.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to see the nurse practitioner over at the local hospital and after the session,which went pretty good,I headed over to a copy store to make a copy of my resume so I can fill out another job application tomorrow after voting.After that was done,I picked up something at a local Dollar General store and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put my home suit on and I relaxed for a while and I also watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my road to recovery,though still rocky,is ongoing,I am still struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I have a very complicated emotional make-up where my emotions and moods vary by the day,or at times,by the minute.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.It also makes my struggles with SSA even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggles seemingly gets too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about my BPD/Schizophrenia struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.It also shows that I don't have to suffer alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use all my strength to fight and resist the temptation to masturbate and I really tossed and turned and also sat up for a while until the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did later give into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to get them erect or near orgasm,but I stopped and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for that.All through the day,I continued in prayer to God to help keep me strong whenever the temptations kept coming back.I simply threw them on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resit these temptations as they came.I continued to pray continually and I never ceased until the temptations were reduced to nil.While that works for me,I am also still seeking prayers by everyone who follow and read my blog posts and words of encouragement in the comments section as they do help in keeping me going.Again,I ask that all of you please continue to pray for me as I am still going through a complex emotional time as a result of my mother dying over a month ago.I would really appreciate that.Thanks in advance to all of you for all your prayers and support.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,my sister and I will be meeting with a lawyer to discuss some legal matters concerning the house and other things.I am also thinking of going out to pay some more bills as well.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues unabated.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I immediately got dressed up in a suit and I headed over to church for the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow church brothers and sisters,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed over to a local gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I immediately changed into my home suit and hung my church suit in the closet.After that,I heated up a can of pasta for lunch and ate it.After lunch,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and relaxed.
Before heating dinner up,I went out to buy something to have alongside my dinner.When I got home,I heated up what I wanted and ate.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church always makes the day eventful as I do worship at a very wonderful church where the people are very loving,accepting and friendly.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my road to recovery continues unabated,it is still a pretty rocky road that I am on.Then again,when you are a person who struggles with BPD,each and every day is always a struggle.I never know how my moods and/or my emotions will be.I can be up and feeling good one day or one minute and down and not so good the next day or minute.I am on a constant emotional roller coaster ride as a result of struggling with this disorder.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggles seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.I am not saying that human based therapy isn't good.The power that God and his son Jesus Christ gives goes beyond what any human therapy can do as they both are more powerful than any humans on Earth.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated an erection away.I really felt miserable after that happened and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sin and I felt better knowing that I was forgiven.Throughout the day,I kept in prayer to God in the name of Jesus Christ because I was getting tempted throughout the day to act out by masturbating or by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near orgasm and stopping,though at times,orgasm does happen during this particular unclean habit.Though it has been over a month since the death of my mother,I am still working on getting over her death and trying to continue to work through all the mixed,mostly negative,emotions that I am going through.I have been giving in pretty much,though it isn't as often as I have been giving in.My failures are not as chronic as they used to be,though I still feel miserable as a result whenever I do fail and ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me.Since relying on God and Christ more,I am not falling as much now and I guess that it is a good thing.I am going to continue relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever I have any temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.With their help,I can get through anything.I am also still asking for prayers from everyone who follows and reads my blog and also,some encouraging words to help keep me going and continue to fight these unnatural desires that I have.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with the nurse practitioner over at the local hospital.I am also going to go to a copy store to make copies of my resume.Aside from these things,I have nothing else planned.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after having a light lunch,I got dressed and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things planned.I first went to a local hair place to get my hair cut.After that was done,I headed over to a friend's place to see how he was doing.After my time with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My unpredictable emotional and mood make-up,which is very complicated,can be hard to decipher or how it could be from day to day,or at times,from moment to moment within the same day.I never know how my emotions nor moods will be.It is bad enough that I struggle with BPD,but I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I also have to put up with hearing sounds and voices that nobody else hears alongside the emotional roller coaster ride of having BPD.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better as they help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to fight this overwhelming urge to masturbate the erection away.I tossed and turned repeatedly until the erection softened and I slowly fell back asleep again.Though I escaped this episode,I had to fight the temptation to act out by masturbating or by simply manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or to the point of orgasm and then stopping,but at times,it leads to ejaculation.Yes,at times,there is lusting involved in that latter thing.I continually prayed throughout the day as these temptations came around.I threw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptations were reduced to nil.I prayed much through the day and I felt better each and every time that I prayed.I willfully refuse to let the unnatural desires that I have define who I am as a person nor will I dictate to me how I will be or act.I am a man and a member of the male sex and aside from being a human being,that is all that I am and I am nothing more than that.My body,the way that it is made,is biologically hard-wired to be compatible with that of a female as God,when he created us humans as man and woman,never intended for sexuality to be used and abused the way that the world is using and abusing sexuality.I also keep working on not letting sexual stuff dominate my thinking and try to keep a pure and clean mind in regards to sexuality.It isn't easy to do,but it can be done.I just keep praying and praying to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus constantly and it always makes me feel better.I am also still asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads every post that I write here.I also ask that you post encouraging comments and share whatever advice of comments that y'all can provide.They help keep me going and keep me even more determined to heal and overcome SSA even more.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.It is great that I am never alone in my SSA struggle.Thanks again to God and Christ for everything.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing planned.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money.After that,I headed home to register all the money on Where's George and after that was done,I headed over to the post office to have a money order made so I could send the payment to the finance company with whom I have a credit card with.After that,I headed over to the local Sears to pay my credit card bill with them.After that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up some stuff that I needed.After that was done,I headed over to a nearby supermarket to pick up a gallon of milk and after paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I again managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my road to recovery continues moving forward,the road is still a very rocky one.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods change by the day or at times by the minute on the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and as a result of me having them,it makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with hearing things and sounds that others can't hear other than me.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggles seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw it on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining.I am not saying that human therapy and medication are no good,but the power that God gives in the name of his son Jesus Christ is greater than anything that any type of human therapy can provide.It helps sustain me and I feel a little bit better as a result of me talking about the BPD/Schizophrenia struggle with God and Christ as they give power beyond anything that humans can provide.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out a deep sleep.I simply turned to one side and after that,the erection died down and I went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I still get tempted by the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and it gets even more difficult by the day.You resist the temptation to act out one day,but it gets stronger the next day.The fight to resist to act out on the unnatural desires related and connected with SSA is a very difficult fight at that.It seems that the desires want to own me rather than me owning them.I can't let that happen.I have to continue keeping in mind God's perfect law regarding sexuality and what he intended sexuality to be as he created and gave it.I am always praying to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to fight and resist the temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.I continually refuse to let the unnatural desires that I have define me and refuse to let the dictate to me how I will act and be.I am a male as well as a man and as far as being human goes,that is all that I am.My body is biologically hard-wired for compatibility with a female as God created man and woman for a reason.God never intended for sexuality to be used and abused the way that the world around us uses and abuses it.I continually pray to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ throughout the day to keep me strong as I throw every temptation onto God in Jesus' name and I feel better as the temptation is reduced to nil.Still,I am asking for prayers from everyone who follows and reads my blog.Please pray for me and also,leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section of my blog.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and support.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do as well.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,is continuing to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did most of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of my day.
I first went to my Thursday morning Spirituality group and I got a lot out of that.After that was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after that,I headed over to an appointment that I had with a case worker over at a local office.
The meeting with the case worker went great and after that was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my home suit and finished my personal PC work.After that,I relaxed and took it easy for a while and while doing that,I watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day and I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my road to recovery continues to move forward,despite a rocky road,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods change at times from one day to the next or from one minute to the next.I never how my moods or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw it on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I feel a tad better.Both God and his son Jesus Christ help sustain me and after that,I can move on with the rest of the day.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I sat up for a few minutes and after the erection softened,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still get tempted throughout the day as I go along with it.But instead of giving in or simply thinking of these impure and unclean things,I now throw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through every temptation that comes around.I throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I ask for strength to fight and resist the temptation and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.It is great to rely on God more than on my own strength.I am also still asking for prayers by those who follow and read my blog regularly and I am also asking for encouraging words as well.Both are always appreciated.Thanks in advance to everyone for prayers offered and for the encouraging words.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Happy Halloween to everyone out in the world.
Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things planned.The most important thing was that I had to take my car to a garage where my sister does business with and have them do that much needed repair work that I needed so my car could pass inspection this year.It was to replace the passenger side ball joint.It took about an hour and it was finished.After paying for the repairs,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those,I went to a local supermarket to pick up one more thing.After paying for those items,I got some gas in my tank and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I had lunch.After lunch,I watched some Halloween themed specials on DVD.After that was done,I finished my personal PC work.I even managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also watched a few old reruns on TV.I also watched one more Halloween themed special DVD and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to move forward,the road is still a little rocky.I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods or even my emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me through and after that,I feel a little bit better as they help in sustaining me.It shows that I have nothing to worry about and I am not alone in my struggle.I feel better knowing that God and Christ are there.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I sat up for a while and I didn't lay back down until the erection softened and after that,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though Ii did escape this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in genital manipulation for the purpose of getting them erect or at the point of orgasm and stopping.But I kept throwing it all on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through the temptation and to give me strength to fight and resist each and every urge.I always felt better after praying hard about the temptation and asking God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help strengthen me to fight and resist the temptation to indulge in impure and unclean follies such as masturbation or simply manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect to masturbate or to the point of orgasm and stopping.After that,the temptations are reduced to nil.I am also still asking for prayers from everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts and also,asking for some encouraging comments and support.Thanks in advance for everything provided by my followers and readers.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group in the morning,followed by lunch at a local kitchen.I also have an appointment to meet with a case worker.As for the rest of the day,I am just going to stay home,relax and take it easy.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After the shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after doing some work around the house,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a small thing on my agenda for today.
The only thing that I had on my agenda today was that I had to take my car in to get inspected at a garage that my locally living sister referred me to.My youngest nephew and I headed over there and when we arrived there,it took almost ten minutes to let me know that all I needed was a passenger side ball joint to pass inspection.After the appointment to do the work was made,which will be tomorrow morning,I dropped my nephew off at home and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day and I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in.
While my recovery continues onward,despite a rocky road,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods or emotions can be up and good one day or one minute and then the next day or minute,down and not so good.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable to handle.I simply throw my struggles on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better as they both help is sustaining me.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggles and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation when I manipulated my genitals until I ejaculated in the wee early morning hours.I felt really terrible as a result of this failure and I really begged for God to show his mercy on me for this third consecutive fall.I really asked for God to forgive me for this fall in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I was actually in tears as I prayed so hard for God to forgive me falling this third consecutive time.I am really going through an awful lot of emotional issues right now and it isn't pretty.I really need to start buckling myself down and really fight to resist these sorts of temptations.Each and every time that I fail,I always feel miserable and since this was the third consecutive fall,it really felt like a crushing weight on me.Again,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for this fall and I begged for God's mercy for sinning again.I felt better,but I really need to start really fighting these urges now as I am going through this terrible emotional time right now.I am also still seeking prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog posts and I will continue to keep praying myself.Thanks in advance for your prayers as they are appreciated.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and also,an extra special Thanks to God for his forgiveness of my sins.
Tomorrow,I have that appointment to get my passenger side ball joint on and then have it pass inspection.I am just going to relax and take it easy for the rest of the day as I will have nothing else to do.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward,despite a rocky road.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda today.I first went to my building and improving self esteem group and that went as well as expected.After the group,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a gallon of skim milk and after paying for that,I headed over to the local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few other things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home to stay as there was a high wind warning going into effect in the mid afternoon and it would also be rainy throughout the rest of the day.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.After that,I did some recommended Holy Bible reading while waiting for the oven to heat up so I could prepare dinner.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and after watching some classic TV reruns on TV LAND,I watched another movie that I popped into the DVD player.Overall,a pretty fair day as a result of the remnants of Hurricane Sandy coming into my area with the high winds and all the rain.When something like this happens,there really isn't an awful lot to do at all,except to just stay home and make the best of the negative situation.That is what I did.I simply stayed home and watched a couple of movies and I enjoyed myself.
While my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods or even my emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I also continue to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting to unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better as they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of talking to God whenever the emotional roller coaster ride or the hallucinations seem to be getting unbearable.It is great that I have them to go to whenever the struggle gets really difficult.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation again early this morning when I masturbated an erection away.I really felt miserable when I fell short and I immediately asked God in the name in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling short and I really felt better knowing that I was forgiven.Throughout the day,I was being tempted to act out in many ways and I kept throwing every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and each and every time,I felt better as the temptation was reduced to nil.I did it throughout the day and I felt better.It is a relief that I don't have to suffer guilt anymore as a result of failing and that is great.Thanks again to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have to take my car to a local garage to get inspected and I am hoping that it works out well.I am just going to relax and take it easy for the rest of the day after that.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,is still ongoing.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I immediately got dressed up in a suit and headed for church.As usual,I attended both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers in Christ,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed over to the drug store to pick up my prescription and a couple of medicines for colds.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit and did my personal PC work.It was a lot,but I got it done.After that,I called my sister and I arranged to pick up her house key so I can go into her house and do my laundry.
It took an hour and a half,but I got it done,After that,I returned my sister's house key to her and headed straight home.
When I got home,I put my laundry bag away and decided to fold the laundry up and sort it out tomorrow after I get home from my group.After doing that,I relaxed and popped A DVD into the DVD player to watch it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work,Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.Since returning to church over a year ago,I have really been enjoying my worship and also feeling the love,friendliness and acceptance by everyone that I worship with.Though today was a dismal rainy day,I still felt great as a result of me going to church today and really getting my spirituality fulfilled.The church I worship at,the worship is truly a joy indeed and I have been enjoying it each and every minute of going to church each and every Sunday.I have a feeling that these joyful feelings that I have been experiencing are going to continue for a long time to come and perhaps the rest of my life on this very Earth that I am living on.I am also still keeping up on daily Holy Bible readings and constantly praying to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ each and every day.I now know and truly believe that the Lord Jesus and his father led me there.Thanks to them for doing so.
While my road to recovery is still ongoing,it is still a rocky road indeed.I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory on a one day at a time basis.It is never an easy thing to deal with and it can get very difficult.I never how my moods or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggles seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my BPD/Schizophrenia struggle with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and after that,I feel a tad better.It is simply a matter of asking God in his son Christ's name to help sustain me in my struggle and keep me on an even level.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated.I really felt miserable for falling and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling.I also prayed to God in the name of Christ later on when guilt started to set in later on and I felt better after that.This really shows that I really have to ask God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to really help me to fight and resist the urges that come around when least expected.I have to learn to go to God whenever this happens.Throughout the day,I was tempted again and I continually asked God to help give me the strength to fight and resist these urges.I am also asking for prayers by those who follow my blog and read the posts for prayers.Thanks to everyone in advance for them and I am going to continue in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ myself.Thanks to both God and Christ for their help.
Tomorrow,I have a building and improving self esteem group and I am hoping to get a lot out of it.As for the rest of the day,I am going to stay home and simply sort out and fold all of my laundry.I will then relax and watch a DVD or two.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and headed out to do a couple of important things.
I first went to the bank to deposit some cash.After that,I headed over to the local hospital's emergency ward as a result of a problem that I had last night while eating dinner.
The problem was that I got a terrible sting of acid when I swallowed my food and I kept throwing up several times.After that,I went out to get something to eat and ate that with no problems.
I went to the emergency ward and I waited there for several hours.After the wait and some consultation,I got a prescription and left to head to a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick some stuff.After paying for it,I headed for home,but dropped off my prescription to be filled before arriving there.
When I got home,I had a light lunch and did my personal PC work.After it was done,I popped a DVD in the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,this time with no problems,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good and eventful day.
While my recovery continues onward,it is still a pretty rough and rocky road that I am on.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I Simply talk about my struggle with God in the name of Christ Jesus and after that,I feel a tad better as they both help is sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.It was a very overwhelming urge as well.I simply sat up and while I sat up,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Since I was most of the day in the local hospital's emergency ward,thoughts of SSA,nor lusting nor the craving to even manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near orgasm and stopping never even came to me.I was so busy thinking of my overall health and how to get over the hurdles to even think of my struggles today.Thanks God and Christ for that.I went through the rest of the day clean minded and then some.Thanks to both God and Christ Jesus for that.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual as well as doing my laundry in the early afternoon after church.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a couple of things planned.
I first went to the drug store to pick up a prescription and after paying the co-pay on it,I headed over to the bank to withdraw some much needed money and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I fixed myself a light lunch and while eating it,I popped a DVD in the DVD player and I watched it.I also relaxed and enjoyed every minute.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible in as well.
While my road to recovery continues onward,though still rocky,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.While it is bad enough that this emotional roller coaster ride is an unpredictable thing,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult as I also have to put up with hearing things,such as voices and sounds that nobody else hears.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle gets seemingly too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of talking about the struggle and asking for strength in dealing with it effectively.I also feel a tad better after talking about it with them.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.This was the strongest urge that I have had in a long time.This time,I had to really pray hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through this temptation as it was a very overwhelming one at that.I prayed and prayed until the erection softened and after that,I simply got up to use the bathroom as I had to do so and after I was finished,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I am still keeping in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it makes itself to be,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always staying on guard and being watchful as the temptation can come when least expected.I am always at war with these unnatural desires that I have and at times,the fight against them can be very difficult.When it does get very difficult,I simply turn to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through it.I simply talk about any temptation that comes around with God and ask him to get me through in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I feel better.I throw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I feel better as I also ask for strength to help me fight and resist any temptation that comes around.I am always praying throughout the day to ask God to help me get through the temptations when they come around.I am also still asking for those who follow my blog and read it to say prayers for me as well and also,please put some encouraging words in the comments as well.They are both appreciated and Thanks in advance for all of them.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,is still ongoing.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to my usual Spirituality group on Thursday and I got a lot out of it.After that was over,I headed over to a local kitchen and had lunch.After lunch,I stopped at the bank to make a deposit and after that,I got some gas and headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.
After the movie,I was invited out to dinner somewhere and I went to the place where it was.I stayed for a while and ate with the people as well as socialized with them.After that was over,I headed straight home and stayed there for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I put my home suit on and I watched a little TV while relaxing.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery in ongoing,it is still a rough and rocky road.I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I am still attending therapy and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply express how I feel and share my struggles with God in his son's Jesus Christ's name and I feel a tad better as they are now in control and leading the way.It is great that they are there whenever the struggle is seemingly getting too tough to handle and that makes me feel good.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.The only good thing was that it didn't last long.I simply turned to my left side and after that,the erection died down and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I am still keeping in mind that the temptation to act out,no matter what form it takes,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always at war with the unnatural desires that I have and though that is a difficult fight in itself,I am still going to God in the name of Jesus Christ whenever I am tempted to act out on the unnatural desires that I have.I simply throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.I pray throughout the day whenever the temptation comes around and I am feeling better as a result of God and Christ leading the way.I am also asking that those who follow and read my blog continue to pray for me and the prayers are always appreciated.Thanks in advance for the prayers and Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and since I had really nothing to do this morning,I popped a DVD in the DVD player and watched it.After it was over,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things to do.I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a phone card for my cell phone before the service runs out at the end of the month.After doing that,I went to visit with a friend to see how he was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.I also made a couple of important phone calls.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my road to recovery continues onward,it is still a pretty rough and rocky road.I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.It is bad enough having BPD,but I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggle with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggle that I have with this double whammy that I have with God in his son Jesus Christ's name and after that,I feel a tad better.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this current temptation.I sat up for a while and while I was sitting up,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did later give into the temptation to inappropriately touch myself,but stopped before it could get anywhere and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me.Throughout the day,I kept getting that same temptation and every time that I did,I prayed to God in the name of Jesus Christ,his son,to help get me through the temptation.After that,I felt better.I kept in prayer to God all day whenever that temptation arose and after every time,I felt better as the temptation was reduced to nil.I kept it up all day and I felt like a big weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.Though I do continue to pray,I am also asking for prayers by those who follow and read my blog regularly.I am also asking for encouragement.The more that I get,the more it keeps me going.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have a Spirituality group that I must attend and to have lunch at a local kitchen afterwards.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and was a little surprised when I saw that I had an internet connection as my mom's old phone account was closed and cancelled,so my own account could be activated.I got my phone number turned on this morning after I checked it after my shower and was surprised to see internet.Of course,I had to activate my account to get the internet going online.After the activation was done,I did my personal PC work and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day after getting dressed.
Today was a cold,wet and rainy day.I had only a few things that needed to get done.I dropped off a copy of the local free newspaper at a few friends of mine in the area,which is what I do every Tuesday.After doing that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a small pouch of coffee.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues onward,it is still a pretty rocky road.I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.It is a never ending roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with sounds and voices that nobody other then me hears.When the struggles gets almost too seemingly unbearable for me to handle,I am constantly relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle is getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God and his son Christ and after that,I feel a tad at ease.It is simply a matter of talking about everything with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,feeling a tad better.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated.I simply grabbed the erection that I had and I masturbated the erection away.After that happened,I felt really miserable and in my misery,asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ too forgive me for sinning.After praying,I felt better and went back to sleep.But throughout the day,I was being tempted again and again to act out in many ways.I was tempted to masturbate and also,to grab my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or at the point of orgasm and stopping and each and every time that it happened,I asked God to grant me strength to fight and resist the temptations.I simply threw the temptations on God and asked him in his son's Christ Jesus' name to help me fight and resist and after it was over,I felt better.Though I did sin today,I was forgiven and that shows that God hasn't given up nor will he ever give up on me.It is great to know that as I can have confidence that God hears and helps those who really need it.Thanks to God and Christ for everything.I also ask that everyone who follows my blog and read the posts to also continue praying for me and also,please leave and encouraging word or two for me as a comment.Thanks in advance for the prayers offered and for the encouraging words offered.Both are very much appreciated.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,is ongoing.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed as I had a pretty busy day planned.
I first went to my usual Monday afternoon building and improving self esteem group.I headed over there expecting to get a lot out of the group.
The group meeting went as well as hoped.After the group meeting was over,I headed over to the local Social Services building to drop off my Xeroxed copy of my proof of income letter from Social Security and after that,I headed over to my appointment with the female counselor over at the local agency.
That later meeting went great as we talked for about 20 minutes.After the meeting was over,I got some gas in my tank and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I called my nephew up and I drove my car over to his place so he could fix it by putting the brake pads on.After that was,which took another 20 minutes,I headed straight home and stayed there for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I put my sweatsuit on and relaxed while watching a movie that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good as well as busy day today.
While my road to recovery is ongoing,despite being rocky,I am still having to deal and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My emotions and moods are always on a constant roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult as I am always constantly hearing things that nobody else around me hears.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came over me in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection out of a deep sleep.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge,but the urge died after a couple of minutes and I was able to get back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was facing temptation throughout the day and I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these temptations came around.I really prayed hard to God in Christ's name constantly throughout the day and each and every time I did,I felt better as I was letting God and his son Jesus Christ lead the way.I also kept up my recommended Holy Bible readings and listened to Christian music as a way of getting those evil temptations out of me.While I am trying to do my part,I am also asking that everyone who follows this blog of mine and reads the posts to keep praying for me as well as I really need them.They are always appreciated.Thanks to all of you in advance for praying for me and also,a very hearty Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues to go forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the almost mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I hurriedly got dressed up in a suit and I headed over to the church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful as this was also another Holy Communion Sunday.After some wonderful fellowship with the rest of the congregation,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home sweatsuit and relaxed for a while.I was online for much of the time and had some difficulty getting my virus and firewall protection up to date,but after several tries,I finally succeeded.After I had the computer rebooted following the updating of the virus and firewall software,I did only a small part of my personal PC work and then,I called my nephew up and he took me to a local auto parts store so I can pick up some front brake pads and a couple of windshield wipers for my car's windshield.After paying for the parts,we headed back home and my nephew put the new windshield wipers on and said that he would put the brake pads on tomorrow afternoon once I was home from my appointments.I said okay and he left.
When I got back into the house,I finished my personal PC work and after it was finished,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as with me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my road to recovery continues to go forward,despite a rocky road,I am still having to deal and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods fluctuate between good and not so good day after day or at other times minute after minute.I never know how my mood will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about my mental health struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.It is great that I am not alone in my struggle and with God and his son Jesus Christ helping me,I feel a little more at ease.It is wonderful that they do help me out in this struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all of my strength to resist this overwhelming temptation as it was really strong.I sat up for a few minutes and when the erection softened,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it makes itself to be,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I did get tempted later on to grab my genitals for the purpose of manipulating them to get them erect or at the point of orgasm and stopping,but I threw the temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me in resisting this temptation and I kept praying until the temptation was nil and I felt better.Throughout the day,I threw every temptation on God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and I always felt better after doing so.It is wonderful that both God and Christ are there to help me during this really difficult emotional time.While I will continue praying myself,I am also requesting prayers from everyone who follows and reads my blog as they are always appreciated.Thanks to all of you for your prayers and Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my building and improving self esteem group and I also have to meet with the same lady that I talked to on Friday to discuss other things.My nephew is also hopping to get around to putting the new brake pads on my car a little later in the afternoon.I think that I will just stay home and take it easy for the rest of the day onward.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,moves forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
Before I did anything,my locally living sister and I got together to discuss some things with me in regards to a couple of bills.We talked for about five minutes and after I left her house,I proceeded to do what I had to do.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for them,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few more things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also managed to leave a message with a lawyer to get back to me to get everything rolling in regards to some legal work that needs to be done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues moving forward,I am still having to deal with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.My moods fluctuate at times by the day or by the minute.I never know how I will be mood or emotional wise.I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that makes it even more tougher.It's bad enough having BPD,but having schizophrenia mixed in makes it more difficult,because aside from the mood changes,I also have to put up with hearing things such as voices,sounds or other things that others can't hear aside from myself and at times,it drives me up the wall.I still attend my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am still also relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about these struggles with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they both help in sustaining me.It is difficult struggling with any type of mental illness,but with God and Christ leading the way,I feel more at ease a little bit.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and also for leading the way.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection and this time,it was a very overwhelming urge.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge.I tossed and turned and when that didn't work,I sat up and I continued sitting up until the erection softened.When it did soften,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I actually gave into temptation later on in the morning when I manipulated my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect/near erect or leading up to orgasm and stopping.When this happened,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning and after that,I felt better.Throughout the day,as I have in the days prior,I am continuing in prayer whenever that sort of temptation starts to come around.I don't want to do anything that would displease God nor offend him.I simply continue to throw the temptations on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I keep praying until the temptation is reduced to nil.After that,I went on with the rest of the day and when the temptation came back,I prayed again and after that,continued moving on with the day.I feel better now knowing that God and Christ are there to help and lead the way.It is great to know that whenever I talk about any type of temptation that I am having with God,I feel better knowing that God hears,listens and is there to help me whenever I ask him to do so.It shows that I am not alone in my fight or struggle and that is wonderful.I am also still requesting prayers from those who follow my blog and read the posts as I still need everyone's prayerful support.I will also continue praying myself.Thanks for the prayers and Thanks also to both God and Christ for everything that they provide.
Tomorrow,it is church as usual.As for the rest of the day,I just might stay home and take it easy as I have really nothing else planned.But if I have to leave the house for anything,I will leave it.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed,got some gas,picked a friend up and we headed to an event that we were invited to to see what prize we won.
My friend and I both got gift cards to use at Wal-Mart.After we received them,we headed for home,but before that,I had to stop somewhere to use the bathroom.After that,we headed straight home.
After dropping off my friend,I headed over to another event that I was invited to and got another Wal-Mart gift card.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my home suit and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I heated up some soup for lunch and after that,got dressed again to go to an appointment that I had with the same person at the same agency that I met with last week.
This meeting went as well as the first one.After the meeting,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day and I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
While my road to recovery continues to move forward,despite a rocky road,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD,and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD,on a daily basis.My moods fluctuate from being up and feeling good one day or one minute,to down and not so good the next day or minute.I never know how my emotions will be,either.I also have schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my BPD struggles even worse and more difficult.Aside from the BPD emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to contend with hearing sounds,voices and other things that other people can't hear other than me.It is never easy and at times,it can get nerve wracking and can cause even more anxiety.Still,I am continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle as I simply talk about my struggles with God and Christ and they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of taking it to God in prayer and ask to be kept calm and serene.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed,but God and Christ have power beyond what any human therapy can give and/or provide.It shows that they are always there and that I am not alone in my struggles.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.My craving or urge to masturbate really strengthens whenever I get an erection in the wee early morning hours.I simply sat up for a while and laid back down to return to sleep once the erection softened.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into the temptation to touch myself inappropriately,but I stopped myself before it could go any further.I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and after that,I felt better.All through the day,whenever that particular temptation came around,I continued in prayer to God constantly and kept asking him to help me resist the temptation to inappropriately touch myself and manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near the point of orgasm and stopping,but at times,the orgasm does lead to ejaculation and then I feel lousy after that.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help keep me strong enough to resist this temptation and to help keep me at ease.I did it all day and I felt better each and every time that I did.I am also still asking for prayers by those who read my blog regularly and follow it.Please say prayers for me as I am going through this really difficult emotional time that I am in as a result of my mom passing nearly a month ago.I am still learning to adjust to her not being here with me,while at the same time,I am still missing her and still feel sad and lonely as a result of the loss of her.I again ask for prayers to help me get through this difficult time as they are always appreciated.Thanks both to God and Christ for everything that they do and Thanks also in advance to everyone who prays for me.I really need some prayerful support right now.Thanks again in advance for prayers offered and Thanks again to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for the upcoming weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the upcoming weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still a little rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I showered.Since I had overslept,I hurried through my shower and after showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed immediately and proceeded to go to my Thursday morning Spirituality group.
The group meeting was wonderful.When it was over,I had lunch at the group location as they were having pizza.After eating lunch,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put on my home suit and I did my personal PC work.When that was finished,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also popped a DVD in and watched it.
I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.Though I haven't included this in previous entries,I am still getting in my daily recommended Holy Bible reading in and I have also been keeping up praying as I have been tempted to commit wrongful acts of a sexual nature.I have been praying endlessly and continually by throwing every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and talking about the temptation until the temptation is reduced to nil.I have been doing that repeatedly and have been feeling better.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.Day after day,or at times minute after minute,I never know how my moods or emotions will be like.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with hearing voices or other sounds that others can't hear.It really makes my struggles,including my SSA struggles,really difficult.Still,I continue to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle gets seemingly too unbearable for me to handle or deal with.I simply talk about my mental health issues with God in his son Christ's name and they help in sustaining me.While I am still attending my therapy sessions and continuing to take my medication as directed,I still rely on God and Christ more as they give power beyond what any human therapy can provide.Human therapy is good,but the power that both God and his son Jesus Christ is much better as their power helps sustain me and keeps me a little more at ease.It is simply a matter of talking about my mental health issues with God and being sustained.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they offer.
Regarding my SSA struggles,temptation to masturbate came really strong in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge this morning and the erection was really stiff and throbbing.I was also holding my breath as a result of this as I didn't want to give into this particular temptation.I started sitting up and I sat up for a few minutes and while I was sitting up in bed,the erection softened and when it was fully limp,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did later give into another temptation by grabbing my genitals and manipulating them for the purpose of getting them erect or near the point of orgasm and stopping and/or proceeding to masturbate.I managed to stop myself in the midst of that fall and asked God to forgive me for the fall and I felt better.For the rest of the day,I was being tempted like crazy repeatedly and I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ each and every time any form of temptation started to creep up.I simply kept throwing every temptation on God in the name of Christ Jesus repeatedly throughout the day and I felt great.The temptations were reduced to nil and I felt stronger with each and every prayer.While I have been doing that,I am also still asking for everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts that I make to continue praying for me as well.Your prayers do help in keeping me going and also,to keep fighting and resisting every temptation that creeps around when I least expect it to come.Thanks to both God and Christ for being there and Thanks also in advance to everyone who prays for me as they also help in keeping me going.
Tomorrow,I have to meet with the same person that I met at the local agency last week.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the local Social Services office to check up on a few things.After doing that,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery,despite it being rocky,continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I am always on a constant emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too impossible for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God and his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.The struggles with BPD and schizophrenia combination is never an easy one,but God helps keeps me sustained.It shows that I am not alone in my mental illness struggles.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.They truly are helpful whenever I feel down and out as well as ready to give up and surrender.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I simply had to turn to the right side and the erection died down.I went back to sleep after wards and though I escaped this particular episode,the temptation to manipulate my genitals to get them erect or near the point of orgasm and stopping started to come over me as I had gotten up out of bed.I was still feeling tired and I was really tempted to grab my genitals and start playing with them.When this happened,I simply took it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I talked about the temptation and asked him for strength to fight and resist this temptation and I continued doing that throughout the day as the temptation to play with myself kept coming back as well as the urge to fantasize and masturbate to fantasies involving other men and such.I simply kept throwing everything on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I felt better.I also did that all day yesterday and each time I did that,I felt better and relieved.Prayer does work if you give it a try and I am learning that more and more each day.It again shows that I am not alone in my struggles with SSA and that I am also not alone in my fight to resist any temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,which I willfully refuse to let define me nor dictate to me as to how I will act.Thanks to both God and Christ for being there for me and also,for getting me through each and every sort of sexual temptation.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group that I have to attend and lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things planned.I first went to the post office to mail out an important bill payment and after that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a gallon of milk.After that was paid for,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues onward,I am still on a rocky road that will be rocky for a while.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood nor my emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.One day or one minute,I can be up and feeling good,while the next day or minute,down and not so good.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.At times,the struggle does feel seemingly unbearable.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,they help in sustaining me.It does show that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all of their help and for simply being there.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I simply turned to my right side and the erection simply died down and after it softened,I went back to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I was again tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or at the point of orgasm and stopping,which I gave into,but stopped myself.I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for doing that unclean thing and after that,I felt better.Though yesterday I was tempted many times and I did throw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ through the day,I still gave into that unclean habit of touching myself inappropriately,but again,I stopped myself.Though I did ask God to forgive me and I do believe wholeheartedly that I am forgiven,I have to keep working on resisting this sort of temptation and every time that I am tempted,simply throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and ask for help and strength to resist.I need to do that every time that I am tempted and not just give into that and later ask to be forgiven.It takes more strength to throw every temptation on God in his son Christ's name than it is to give in and ask for forgiveness later after giving in.I am again asking for prayers by those who regularly follow my blog and read every post here.Please pray for me that I be strong to resist the temptation to give into any temptation and also have the strength,faith and courage to throw every temptation on God in Christ's name and ask for those things.Thanks in advance for the prayers as they are always appreciated and also,Thanks both to God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,moves forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda today.I first went to my mandatory medication management group at the local hospital,which was only an hour and the meeting went pretty good.After that,I headed over to a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of batteries.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and got ready to head over to my niece's house for dinner.
The dinner was wonderful and I was full after eating a few tacos.After that,I headed straight home and stayed there for the remainder of the day as I had nothing else to do.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery moves forward,despite it being a rocky road,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.On one day,I could be up and feeling good while the next day,down and not so good and at times,it happens in the same day.I never know how my mood will be nor my emotions.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier either.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle gets too seemingly unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggles with God and his son Christ Jesus and they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of talking to God about the struggle and asking them for help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the late morning by masturbating.Yes,there was lusting involved as well.After that fall,which did bring me down,I asked God in the name of Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and after that,I felt better.I was still being tempted throughout the day and I kept praying to God for strength to help me resist these temptations to act out by masturbating or by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or at the point of orgasm and stopping,which led to the masturbation.I did ask God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to forgive me and I do believe that I am forgiven and that my sins are forgotten by God.I still need to work on praying to God more in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these temptations try to overwhelm me.I need to go to them more and ask for strength to fight and resist these terrible urges.I also aks for prayer from those who do follow and read my blog.Prayers are always appreciated.Thanks in advance for them and also,Thanks to God for forgiving my sins and also,Thanks to his son Christ for being the mediator between God and man on Earth and also,for dying for my sins and in his name,for his father forgiving my sins.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery,though still rocky,is still continuing on.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After some fellowship with the members and also getting some lunch at a charity chicken barbecue,which another member of the church bought for me,I headed straight home to eat it and after that,I relaxed and listened to a little bit of music before getting on to doing my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
For dinner,I was supposed to go over to my niece's house for tacos,but her eldest daughter twisted her ankle accidently and since this happened,we postponed the taco dinner until tomorrow.I then proceeded to heat up something in the oven and after it was done cooking,I ate and I relaxed for a while and watched a little TV.I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.
While my recovery continues on,it is still a pretty rocky road as I am still trying to recover from my mom's passing.It won't be easy,but I know that the pain will pass in time.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.It is never an easy thing to deal with.I never know how my moods or emotion will be from one minute to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my recovery even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of taking it to God in prayer and asking them for help in keeping me at ease and asking to help me deal with this effectively and after that,I feel a little bit better and a little more at ease.It shows that I am not alone in my BPD/Schizophrenia struggles.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,which didn't last too long as I started to get up and after it died down after a short time,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give in later on when I was touching myself and manipulating my genitals for the sake of getting them erect or near orgasm and stopping.I asked God to forgive me for that and after that,I felt better.I have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it takes,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I never know what form it might take and when it does come around,I am always fighting to resist the urge and the urge to give in can be very overwhelming and strong.I need to learn to take the temptations to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus a lot more and ask for more strength to fight and resist these urges as giving into any temptation is sinful and also,unfulfilling.I simply ask God to forgive me when I do give in and though I feel better after receiving God's gift of forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ,I have to analyze myself and make sure that I don't fall the same way that I fell at the time that I did.I need to really throw these temptation onto God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and ask them for help in helping me to resist these terrible temptations.I am also asking for prayers by those who follow and read my blog posts and everything.Please pray for me whoever reads this blog of mine.Thanks in advance for prayers offered and also,Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have a mandatory medication management group that I must attend.As for the rest of the day,I have made no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.