Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much to do today.I simply went to the local Super Wal-Mart to do a little bit more shopping.After I was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at my insurance agents office to pay my car insurance for the month.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is always a daily struggle for me.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next as the roller coaster ride can go up and down on the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my struggles with SSA any easier.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to talk about this particular struggle with God and his son Jesus Christ.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours twice when throbbing erections woke me up out of a deep sleep at two separate intervals in the wee early morning hours.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist these urges.I sat up during the first one and after the erection softened,I went back to sleep.Regarding the second occurrence,I had to get up and use the bathroom and as I walked to the bathroom,the erection softened and was fully soft when I entered the bathroom to use it.After I was finished,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this double whammy,I went through several bouts of temptation throughout the day.I had to really have God and Christ get involved here because I want to keep a clean mind and think pure,wholesome and holy thoughts about my fellow men and not the opposite.I really had to throw every temptation on both God and Christ and I kept asking for strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me.Throughout the day,I never know what will enter my mind as the idea of indulging in sinful sexual activity with another man can start flooding my mind and try to take over my entire being.But I know that I have to stay on guard and be watchful and pray very hard whenever these things happen.I am also continuing to ask for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section,as both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for all the help that they provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I got out of bed a little later than usual and I had to shower quickly.After my shower,I quickly ate my usual quick breakfast and had to settle on just one cup of coffee this morning.After breakfast,I immediately got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.Everyone told me how much they missed me and that they were glad to have me back.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my sweat suit.I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed for a while and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on the usual one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I still continue to attend my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I never have nothing to fear as long as God and Christ are leading the way.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I simply got up and I headed for the bathroom to use it and while walking there,the erection started to soften and when I went back to bed,the erection had fully softened.Though I escaped this episode,I have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I was tempted throughout the day and I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and kept asking for strength to fight and resist all the urges that came at me.I threw them all on God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and I always felt better as a result of that.I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who continues to follow my blog and read every post that I write on here and again,I also ask for words of encouragement by all of my followers.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for being there and also,for taking the lead.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day.or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggles seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I sat up for a while and when the erection fully softened,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted to act out throughout the day as temptation came at me left and right.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist all temptations that came at me.I really had to throw all of these temptations onto God and asked him in his son Christ Jesus' name to give me strength to fight and resist all of these temptations and I felt better after doing that.I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts as I still really need prayers.I am also asking that everyone who follows my blog to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments sections.Both of your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do to help me in this fight against this terrible SSA.
Tomorrow,I have church,including the morning's Holy Bible study class,as usual.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues going onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had much planned for today.
After getting some gas at a local gas station,I headed over to a local hair place to get my hair cut and after that was done,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to do some much needed grocery shopping.After that was done,I headed over to another local supermarket to pick up a few things that the local Super Wal-Mart didn't sell and also,something that I forgot to pick up there.After that was done,I headed over to the nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up one more thing.After that was all done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and awaited my ex brother in law to come over and help me fix the toilet,where the flusher knob broke from the mechanism.After he left,I heated up a can of soup for dinner and a couple slices of Texas garlic toast.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues going onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate twice in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened at two separate intervals by throbbing erections.I tossed and turned on both of these and they softened.Though I escaped this double whammy,I had to stay on guard all day as the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can come at me at all sides when least expected.I really have to stay on guard and be watchful.I did keep busy all day by getting out and doing what I had to do,I still got tempted throughout the day and I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me.I also kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever temptation reared it's ugly head.I am also continuing to ask for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in the fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Spirituality group and it was a wonderful meeting.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after eating,I headed over to the local K-Mart and picked up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a sweat suit and I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues unabated,I am still in my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods and/or emotions change by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment.I never know how they will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again fell when I masturbated in the wee early morning hours.I really felt devastated after this fall.This was the second consecutive fall this week.I really had to ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and I also begged for God to show me his mercy as this was my second consecutive fall this week.I did feel better,but I now know that I have to work on staying strong and continue to fight and resist all urges that come at me.Throughout the day,I was tempted again and again,but I stayed strong by asking God in prayer,in the name of his son Christ Jesus,to give me the strength too fight and resist all urges that came at me.It wasn't easy,but I did all of that today.I am going to have to make it a habit again to start regularly praying to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help keep me strong in the face of these terrible SSA temptations.I am also continuing to ask that everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts to continue in prayer for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and make me even more determined to overcome it.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better and my rocky road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had a bowl of hot oatmeal for breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
After having a talk with my case worker,who came to the house,I was hoping to head out to the local K-Mart to pick up a few things,but something of a personal nature came up and I stayed home instead.I simply relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.I can always go to the local K-Mart tomorrow on the way home from group.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
I am feeling much better at the moment.Much of my painful symptoms are starting to fade and my stomach feels much better.It was a very painful experience that I had when I was battling that terrible "stomach flu" and putting up with the pain and all the other stuff associated with this terrible illness.I am just hoping that I don't have to go through it all again.It was an awful and painful experience and I am glad that I am feeling much better.I should be back to where I should and want to be in the next few days.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to go forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Christ Jesus more whenever this struggles seems to be getting out of control for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning when I masturbated to sexual images of men.I really felt lousy after that and I asked God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I did feel like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.The root cause of this fall was all the emotional stress that I went through over the last few days.I had no home phone nor internet for three days and coupled with the complications caused by that terrible "stomach flu" that I went through caused me to fall and give into those terrible temptations.I really need to start all over again in working hard to resist all temptations that come at me.I am also continuing to ask for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and also,that you leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group and the usual lunch at the local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better,but still battling some minor pains.Thankfully,they are not that bad.
When I got up this morning,though it was a little late in the morning,I showered and had my breakfast and coffee and after that was done,I did my personal PC work.
I did manage to get out today.I had to stop at the bank to pay a bill there and after that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a few things there.After paying for those items,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend was doing and after spending some time with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,it was late and I had a light dinner.After that was done,I did some more personal PC work and I watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
Though I am feeling a little bit better,I am still not where I should be.I am still feeling some minor pains in my legs and lower back and I am still feeling some queasiness in my stomach.My stomach is trying to heal itself from the pains of the weekend and I am still feeling the effects of all the symptoms of what many people call "stomach flu",although it really isn't a "flu" in the true sense.I am still feeling some queasiness and as a result of my stomach trying to heal from this,though I don't want to gross anyone out,I have been blowing rectal gas like crazy.I am still hoping that I will be where I should be soon as I am really at the point where I am tired of feeling sick.I know that I am only human and that it can't be helped,but I just want to be over this terrible problem soon so I can be back to myself again and hopefully,where I should be physically.
Though I promised to keep all of you updated on both my BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA struggles starting again today,I am still really not up to that as I am still feeling the effects of this terrible ailment that I am going through right now.I will start updating all of you on these things when able.
Please continue praying for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I would really appreciate the prayers and the words of encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for both your prayers and encouragement.FJ

Tonight,I am back online.
I was offline for much of the weekend as a result of my ISP terminating my service as a result of me switching phone companies in hopes of saving money on my phone bill.It all turned out to be nothing more than a bunch of hassles and overstress that wasn't even worth all the time and energy.
I had a really rough weekend.I was hoping to go to my monthly Men's Network meeting on Saturday,but wound up getting terribly sick.I had really terrible stomach pains and I also had pains in my lower back and legs.I also had minor headaches and I also had the runs for much of the weekend,with being drowsy all at the same time.I decided to stay home and rest so I could get rid of what was ailing me.It continued onward into Sunday morning and I stayed home from church to continue resting.I was still feeling pains and also,the drowsiness remained.I did hear from one of my fellow worshipers last night and also heard from the pastor this morning.I told them everything that was wrong and they both wished me well.After that,my niece dropped off some food and I headed out to do some important stuff that needed to get done.
While out,I had a quick lunch at a local McDonald's and I stopped at the local Salvation Army thrift store to look around.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided too do some catching up on my personal PC work and also,I tried to catch up on some much needed Holy Bible reading as well.
Today,while still feeling some pain,I did manage to get some stuff done that needed to get done and I am feeling better.I am hoping to be 100% solid before the week is through.I also managed to eat something solid and I didn't vomit or anything.
I will start sharing where I am and how I am still dealing with BPD/Schizophrenia and my struggles with SSA tomorrow.
I just thought that would check in to share with y'all how I am and how the weekend was.I am still asking that all of you continue praying for me.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers.I also ask that y'all also leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of your for your kind and encouraging words.FJ

Attn:To all my blog followers,friends,supporters and everyone.
I will not be online for the next several days.I have been having a really difficult time trying to get my internet service going again.My internet service was cancelled as a result of me switching to Magic Jack Plus for phone service and the number transfer affected my internet with my internet service provider.I called to get it back and it will take several days to get back online.I asked for a combined package to get my DirecTV with internet,but part of the deal is to have a home phone so I can have internet service so my Magic Jack Plus phone service can work.This is a circumstance beyond my control and I am sorry for it all happening.It has been really frustrating and stressful for me and I don't know whether I am coming or going.I am just hoping that all of this ends soon.
Please continue in prayers for me as I am going through this really terrible frustrating and stressful situation.SSA will skyrocket for me and I will be getting tempted to do a lot of sinful things,such as masturbation and fantasy.Again,please continue in prayers for me.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers.
I am hoping to be online soon.Please be patient.I will start shatring more about my struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA when my situation is finally straightened out.Thanks in advance to all of you for your patience.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day as I had a few important things that I needed to do.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money and after that was done,I attended my usual Thursday morning Spirituality group and this was my first group that I have attended in the last two weeks after illness and being stuck in my driveway kept me home.I headed for the group with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group went well.I got a lot out of it.After the group was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for some lunch and after I was done with that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend was doing and after spending some time with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and I took it easy while watching a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with hearing voices,sounds and other things that nobody else,but myself,can hear.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more of God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to get way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of bringing up this particular struggle with God and his son Christ Jesus to get through it all and I do feel a tad better when I do.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated an erection away and yes,there was also lusting and fantasies involved with this fall as well.I really felt miserable after this fall and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling and begged for God to show me his mercy and telling him how sorry that I was for giving into the temptation and I did feel better afterwards.I truly believed that I was forgiven and that God does forgive every time that anyone who worships him fails in their attempts to resist all sorts of temptations.Throughout the day,I was tempted to act out in ways other than seeking another man out to indulge in sinful sexual activity with him.I kept up asking for God to give me strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me.I have to try and show the unnatural desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.I can't let the unnatural desires that I have own me as it is sinful and wrong for two members of the same gender to indulge in sexual activity together as it goes against God's perfect law and is unacceptable to God.I am still in desperate need for continuous healing and continuous affirmation of my gender identity by others.I am also asking that everyone who continues to follow my blog to continue in prayer for me as I am still trying to get over this complex emotional time that I am going through.I also ask that all of you to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and the unnatural desires connected with it and also,your prayers and comments also make me even more determined to overcome SSA.Thanks in advance to y'all for all of your prayers and words of encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my usual personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only one thing on my agenda for today.I went to visit with a friend and had a talk with him for a while.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Burger King for a sandwich as a quick lunch.After eating that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues unabated,I am still battling and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of talking with God and his son Christ Jesus about this particular struggle and feeling a little bit better knowing that I am not alone in this struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do to help get me through even the most difficult periods in this particular struggle.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,but fortunately,it didn't last very long.The erection softened within a few minutes of me waking up and when it was fully softened,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in sinful lusting and manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I really had to pray hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help keep me strong whenever these temptations tried to envelope me and/or tried to control me.I threw every one of them on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist each and every temptation that came at me from all sides.With this being the new year,the holiday season is practically over and I feel like that this is a renewed hope and resolution to try and stay strong whenever these terrible temptations came at me.I just keep asking God to continue strengthening me whenever these terrible temptations came around and I felt better after asking for that strength.I am also continuing to ask for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts.I also ask that you leave and encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as well.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going.Please pray for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group and lunch later at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Happy New Year to everyone out there in the world.
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed over to church for the first service of the new year on this New Year's Day.
The service was wonderful and very spiritually filling.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those things,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few more things.After paying for those items,I headed over to a nearby gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I gout out of my suit and into my home suit.I had a light lunch and after I was finished eating that,I did my personal PC work and after I was done,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating dinner,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible done as well.For me,going to church to start the new year off with a spiritual beginning made the day eventful.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still battling and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and God and his son Christ Jesus are there to get me through anything.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge.I sat up for a while and when the erection softened,I laid back down and fell back asleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in lustful behavior.I was tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ the whole day and I kept up asking for strength to help me fight and resist all the urges that came at me.I always felt better after praying and since the 2012 holiday season and year is now over,I can now work on continuing to move on with my life since my mother is no longer living.I am also again asking for prayers from everyone who continues to follow and read my blog.I am also asking for encouraging words to be said in the comments section.I get man visitors to my blog,but not everyone who visits leaves an encouraging word or two.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for me and also,please continue to pray for me as both your prayers and your encouragement help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue my fight against this terrible SSA and even more determined to overcome it.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things planned.I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After that was done,I headed over to a nearby supermarket to pick up a few more things.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed while popping in a DVD and I watched it.
I ate light tonight because I went to church for the evening's New Year's Eve service and the service was wonderful.They also have a special New Year's Day service tomorrow that I also will be attending.Overall,a pretty good and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride,alongside the schizophrenic tendencies that I have,which makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming and difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This shows that I am not alone in this struggle as God and Christ both understand what I am going through and they both assist me whenever I need it.Thanks to both God and his son Christ for being there and for all that they provide to help me out.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated an erection away.I really felt miserable after I had done this and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me when I did.It really brought me down as I really don't know what is constantly making me fall so much.I am thinking that it could be that it is the holiday season and as a result of my mother not being here with my family for the first time,I am really going through some very complex emotional patterns as a result.I am just hoping that I can get through the rest of the day and through tomorrow,the official end of the holiday season,without any more failings.I still kept up in prayer to God today and kept asking him for strength in the name of his son Christ Jesus to help me resist every temptation that came at me.I am also continuing to ask for prayers by everyone who follows my blog.Please keep praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time right now and I am also asking that everyone who follows and reads my blog to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Again,my blog gets a lot of visitors,but nobody ever leaves anything in the comments section.Please pray and also,leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I will be attending the morning's New Year's Day church service and I am thinking of relaxing for the rest of the day and watching a DVD or two.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the first day of the new year ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-mart to pick up a few things.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and I changed into my home suit.I also did my personal PC work and after that was finished,I decided to relax and pop a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church every Sunday makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still on my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It never gets any easier for me as I go from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another erection.I sat up for a while and didn't lay back down until the erection softened.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out by fantasies,including looking at online porn, and to indulge in masturbation at the same time.I threw every temptation that I had on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and asked him for strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me and I felt better afterwards.Though I have fallen several times as this year was starting to wind down,I am grateful that God forgives every fall and helps gives strength when asked in the name of his son Jesus Christ.Both of them are a wonderful help in this struggle against the terrible SSA.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and also,to please an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that I get many visitors,but hardly any words of encouragement are left in the comments section.I would really appreciate some encouraging words in the comments section.Don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.Your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this struggle,and even more determined to continue in my journey out of this terrible SSA,and also to heal from all the hurts that caused me to have SSA and struggle with it.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things planned.Today,the weather snowing and a minor wind was blowing.I had to really be careful driving as I went to Wal-Mart to bring something back that wasn't needed.After getting a refund,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still on my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I still never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply bring this struggle to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and put it in their hands and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this struggle or any struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated an erection away.I really felt miserable and ashamed of myself for giving into this temptation.I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into this temptation and asked that God showed his mercy on me as I prayed and I felt better after praying.Throughout the day,I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and kept asking for strength whenever the temptations came back around.I prayed hard and kept up asking for strength throughout the rest of the day and tried to keep my mind clear of everything immoral and degrading,though this isn't a very easy thing in itself either.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads the blog posts that I write.I am also asking for words of encouragement in the comments section by everyone as well.My blog gets many visitors,but rarely,encouraging comments are left.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me on my blog in the comments section.Don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Please keep up in prayers for me as well.It is because both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do,too.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual,including the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed immediately as I had a few things planned and I also did my personal PC work.After that was done,I headed out to do some necessary stuff.
I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I put my home suit on and relaxed.I also watched a DVD while relaxing.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have to deal with schizophrenic tendencies,alongside the BPD and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows me that I don't have to go through this struggle alone and that is very good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight this overwhelming urge.I sat up in bed and wouldn't lay back down until the erection softened,which it did after several minutes.I went back to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after getting out of bed and sitting up in a chair,which was manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I felt really bad after doing that and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for doing that unclean and impure thing,which is actually a habit of mine that I would like to give up.There are times when I do that particular thing and it leads to ejaculation.I really would like to stop manipulating my genitals as I know that this is an unclean and impure habit.If anyone out there has had this problem and has succeeded in stopping,please share what has helped you in stopping this habit and what has also worked for you.I am open to anything that can and will help.I would really appreciate some answers and advice.Please share what has worked for you and how it worked.I am also continuing to ask for prayers and for some helpful encouraging words in the comments section from those who follow and read my blog posts.It is just that I get many visitors,but they don't leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Please do so as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this struggle and even more determined to continue in my journey out of SSA and become the man that God intended me to be.Please pray for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good,but stressful,day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,my usual quick breakfast followed,alongside my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I was hoping to go to my Thursday spirituality group,but to unforeseen circumstances beyond my control,such as heavy snow and being snowed in my driveway,I couldn't go to the group and I even called them to let them know of my situation.After that,I did much of my personal PC work and got dressed to do what I had to do.
There was a big mountain of snow at the end of my driveway and I went out to shovel all of that and I knew that it would take me several hours to do.I bundled up in warm clothing and headed outside to do my shoveling.
I was just starting to shovel,but fortunately,my across the street's neighbor's brother in-law was driving his plow and he offered to plow the driveway for me at no cost to me.I let him and he cleared everything within a matter of minutes.After he was done,I thanked him and started to shovel the sidewalk right next to my house and after that was done,I warmed up my car and proceeded to get the snow and ice off that was covering it.It took a bit of doing,but I managed to get the vast majority of it off.I also had to shovel a big hill of snow in the back of my car so I would be able to back-up out of the driveway to go places.After I was finished cleaning off my car,I went in and started to drive off,but I had a really difficult time backing up.I had to really fight the elements as I was trying to get out.I got stuck a few times,but I persisted and persevered and finally,I got out and I headed over to the bank to deposit some money and I did a little shopping at the nearby Dollar Tree store.After doing that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After talking with him for a few minutes,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put what I bought away and went back out to do some more shoveling.I shoveled the sidewalk in front of the house and I also did the sidewalk in front of my next door neighbor's house and the sidewalk leading right up to her house and I even shoveled her steps.After that was done,I went back into the house.
When I got in the house,I fixed a light lunch and I finished my personal PC work.I also went over to my sister's house to pick up something that she had for me.After that,I headed back home and I stayed there for the rest of the day.
When I got back home,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good,but stressful,day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
In my neck of the woods,Winter is back.We had a snow storm overnight and it gave us a very thick,but wet,blanket of snow.We are supposed to get really cold tonight and some freezing drizzle,which I hope won't be that bad.
While my rocky road to recovery continues onward,I am still battling and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.It is a very complex struggle that I am going through and it never gets and easier.I also continue to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they both help in sustaining me and keeping me at an even keel.It shows that I don't have to go through this struggle alone and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation by masturbating in the wee early morning hours.I had a throbbing erection and I gave into the urge to masturbate and while I did that,sexual images of men clouded up my mind.I asked God to forgive me for sinning and I asked for that forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I did feel better as a result.I even Thanked God for sending me that person in the snow plow to help me out and eased my stressful work load in shoveling all of that snow.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all day as I went through the day as temptations kept coming at me left and right.I kept throwing every temptation on God in the name of his Christ Jesus and I felt better.I kept asking for strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me.I didn't want to sin against God anymore today.I have to admit that there are times that I want to throw in the towel and fulfill all those lustful and sinful sexual cravings for men,but I have willfully chosen not to do that.I choose to continue fighting these terrible unnatural desires that I have and keep throwing every temptation on God in the name of his son Christ Jesus.I stay in the fight and continually tell the enemy,Satan,the devil,that I am not throwing in the towel.I may fall short at times,but I am staying my ground and sticking to my guns(so to speak)by continuing on this journey out of this terrible SSA.I am also again asking for prayers by those who continually follow my blog and read the posts that I write on here and also,I again ask that you please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA.I also will keep praying myself.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,my usual quick breakfast followed with my usual 2 cups of coffee that I drank during my morning meal.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only one thing planned for today.I went over to my sister's house to do my laundry and it was a lot to get done.It took quite a while and when it was finally finished,I bagged everything and headed straight home.
When I got home,I put off folding everything up and decided to go to my room and fix my bed.After doing that,I relaxed and popped a DVD in to watch it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how I will be from day to day or from minute/moment to minute/moment.It's bed enough having BPD,but I also have schizophrenic tendencies alongside that and that makes my struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I don't have to endure this struggle alone and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.This was a really overwhelming urge.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation as it was really starting to envelope me.I tried tossing and turning,but the erection kept throbbing.I sat up and decided to get out of bed and walked.While I walked,the erection started to soften and when it was fully soft,I went back to bed.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted to act out with fantasies and masturbation throughout the day.I kept up in prayer to God and asked him in the name of his son Christ Jesus for strength to fight and resist every temptation and I felt better.I kept it up throughout the day as I didn't want to sin against God and try to stay within his good graces.It is a very difficult thing to resist when one struggles with the terrible condition known as SSA.It is easier to give into the unnatural desires connected with SSA than it is to resist them.I simply kept up in prayer all day to God and I felt better after that.I am also continuing to ask for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog posts.Please continue in prayer for me.I also ask that when you visit the blog,I would really like an encouraging word or two from you.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and they both give me strength.It is just that my blog gets visitors,but the visitors don't leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I would really love some encouraging words and some loving advice in the comments section.As I said,both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and make me even more determined to overcome it.Please say something that is encouraging to me and will help me.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,if the weather isn't too bad,as my region will be under a "Winter Storm Warning" starting at 4:00pm today and will end tomorrow at 1:00pm,I am hoping to attend my spirituality group and have lunch at a local kitchen.If the weather is really rough,I will simply go home and stay there and watch a DVD or two.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone out there.
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day holiday today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed real quickly and I headed over to church for the morning's Christmas service,which I was looking forward to with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The service was terrific.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed from my suit into my casual clothes.I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed while listening to some Christmas music and after that,I headed over to my sister's house for dinner.
The dinner was wonderful.After some nice talk with a few of my family members,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a holiday themed DVD into the DVD player.I did watch a few more holiday themed DVD's before the day was through and also,listened to some more Christmas music.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's subsequent emotional roller coaster ride.It is never an easy thing to deal with as my moods and/or emotions very on a day to day basis,or at times,from a minute/moment to minute/moment basis.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with both God and his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this particular temptation.I sat up for a while and didn't lay back down and back asleep until the erection softened.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted to act out by fantasies and masturbating during the time that I was alone after all the holiday things were over with.But during the time that I was at my sister's house,I wasn't tempted to do anything of that sort and that was good.I enjoyed myself and that was good.It is just that when I am alone,I do get the cravings to act out by fantasies,masturbating to them or for emotional reasons and to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I get tempted to do all of these things throughout the day and believe me,it is never an easy thing to fight or struggle with.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog and again,I ask that you all put encouraging words or two in the comments section.Why?Because both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA.It is just that my blog gets many visitors,but they usually don't leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Please continue in prayer for me and also,leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks to all of you in advance for all of your positive words of encouragement and prayers.Thanks also to to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,my personal PC work followed and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things planned.I first had to sign some important papers at the place where the groups are held and after that,I headed for a local restaurant to pick up a sandwich and after eating it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a couple of holiday themed DVD's.
I ate dinner early as a result of the planned Christmas Eve candlelight church service,which I attended.
The service was a wonderful delight.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my PJ's and relaxed while watching a couple more holiday themed DVD's.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I even managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still battling and struggling with the symptoms of BPD daily and still enduring that constant emotional roller coaster ride associated with it.It is never easy and it varies from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that does make my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I don't have to struggle alone and that is pretty good.I also feel a tad better knowing that they are there.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for being there for me.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for about a couple of minutes and waited for the erection to soften and when it did,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I am still on a daily battle with these terrible SSA desires and they are really a difficult thing to fight against.I get tempted to manipulate my genitals for teh purpose of getting them near/fully erect or at the point of orgasm and stopping,but at times,a climax does happen and it makes me sorry that I did that.When that happens,I do ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and I do feel better after that.But still,I am going to really need all the prayerful support from everyone who follows and reads my blog and also to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your positive words of encouragement and prayers help keep me going in this struggle and even more determined to continue fighting and also to continue to try and overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I will be attending the morning's Christmas church service and having dinner at my sister's house later on in the day.After that,I am just going to go home and take it easy and watch a few more holiday themed DVD's.
That was my day today and my plans for the holiday ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,my usual quick breakfast followed and my usual 2 cups of coffee alongside that.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed over to the church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.The children put on a Christmas pageant depicting the story of the arrival of Jesus Christ and it was a wonderful performance that they gave.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After paying for those,I headed to a nearby gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I had a light lunch.After lunch,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.It is a very confusing sort of thing that I am always going through.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular and it does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I sat up for a while and stayed sitting up until the erection softened and after it did,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day as the temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have were coming at me from both sides and I was fighting each and every one as it was coming at me.I kept up in prayer to God and kept asking him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to give me strength to fight and resist each of these terrible temptations.I always felt better after that.I am also still asking for prayers by those who continually follow my blog and read the posts.I am also asking for some words of encouragement to be placed in the comments section at the same time.Please pray for me and please give me some encouragement as them both help keep me going in this fight and struggle against SSA and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual building and improving self esteem group and later on,I will be attending the evening's Christmas Eve church service.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things planned for today.I first went to a local supermarket to pick up some things as I had a gift card to use there from the place where the groups that I go to meet.It was great to have some additional money to do some much needed shopping.After shopping at that particular supermarket,I went to another one to pick up a few more things and after paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player.Admittedly,it was a little tricky driving today as a result of a small snow fall that happened overnight.The weather was cold and the roads were a little slippery.But I managed to get everything that needed to get done accomplished.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done today as well.
I was hoping to spend the entire rest of the evening at home,but I got called to babysit at my niece's house while she and her live in boyfriend went out for a while to visit with some people that they knew.I really didn't like this,but what can I do.I couldn't as well as can't be selfish and say no.I agreed and spent some time over there and babysat at the same time.I am just hoping that tomorrow my day will be uninterrupted by anything as I want to relax and take it easy tomorrow for the whole day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply bring it to both God and his son Jesus Christ in prayer and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,but it didn't last very long.When I started to sit up,the erection started to soften and I laid back down and went to sleep when it was fully soft.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation in the morning when I was still tired and sitting in a chair by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or near the point of orgasm and stopping.I did ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that latter temptation and I did feel better.I am still asking for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog posts here and I am still asking that an encouraging word or two be posted in the comments section.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me as both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.It is just that many people visit my blog,but leave nothing in comments for me to be encouraged.Again,your encouraging words are desperately needed by me and also,your prayers as both of them help keep me going in this fight and more determined to overcome SSA.I will also keep praying.Thanks in advance to all of your for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual in the morning,including the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my quick shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and headed over to the gastro doctor's office to see the results of my esophagus check-up.
The doctor informed me that there were no problems.I didn't have any ulcers or anything else.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the group site to pick up a gift card that they were holding for me.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did 3/4 of my personal PC work and I headed out again as I had an appointment with my case worker.
The meeting with my case worker went well.After a quick lunch at a nearby Burger King,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I picked up a bill that I forgot earlier and I headed over to the post office to mail it out with a money order.After that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Salvation Army thrift store to look around.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a movie.After the movie was over,I finished my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
Today,I am feeling better than I did yesterday.Though I am still aching a little,it isn't as bad as it was yesterday.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that I also have nothing to fear.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation again in the wee early morning hours by masturbating.This complex emotional pattern is really starting to take it's toll on me.This is another fall and after it happened,I really felt miserable.I prayed to God to ask him for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I did feel better.As stated,the complex emotional pattern that I am going through right now is really putting me into a tailspin.This is the first holiday season without my mom being here and also,the stress of me being sick yesterday and all other sorts of things contributed even more negativisms to the current emotional state that I am in at this moment.I am hoping that I will get over this complex emotional pattern soon as I really don't want to act out by masturbating or even by lusting anymore as I am really starting to get sick and tired of this entire SSA struggle.But I am not throwing in the towel.That is what Satan and his minions want.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who continually follows and reads my blog posts and I am again appealing top all of you for some kind words of encouragement in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets quite a few visitors,but nobody posts anything of encouragement to me at all.I would really appreciate some kind words of encouragement and please keep up the prayers.I will also keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues on.I had a pretty miserable day today.
Today,I woke up in pain.My head was hurting and my right leg and my foot was also hurting.I called to let the people know that I wouldn't be coming into group as a result of feeling aches and pains and that I just wasn't feeling well.After calling them,I showered and after the shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after I was done,I closed off the internet and I laid down on the sofa for a while hoping that my headache and my other aches and pains would go away.I was really feeling miserable and in pain.
I only did one thing today.I went to a local store to pick something up.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I tried to pass the time away by watching a movie,but it didn't really do too much to cheer me up.
I had only a light meal today as I really wasn't in the mood to have anything heavy.After I was finished eating,I watched a little TV,but still,it did little to cheer me up.Overall,a pretty miserable day.I still managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in despite the misery.
As a result of me not feeling well enough today,I have chosen to hold off on talking about my BPD and SSA struggles until tomorrow,if I am feeling better.I do have only one thing on my agenda tomorrow and that is to go to the doctor's office to get the results of my esophagus check-up.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had yet another quiet day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
After having myself a quick lunch at home,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,yet another quiet day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD and that isn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came over me again in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.This one was a real throbber and I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I tossed and I turned and also sat up when it didn't work and as I sat up,the erection softened and after it was fully soft,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I had to keep up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ because the urges kept coming back.They were really attacking me on both sides and I really had to pour my soul out to God and his son Jesus Christ and I felt better each time.I kept it up all day and I the feelings were still the same.I am also again asking that everyone out there who follows and reads my blog posts to keep up in prayer to me and I am also again asking for positive and encouraging words in the comments section.Please pray for me and leave an encouraging word or two for me.Your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group and my usual lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had yet another quiet day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only one thing on my agenda today,I simply went to a local Dollar Tree store and I picked up something for lunch.After paying for the item,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I ate lunch and after that,I popped a DVD in the DVD player and watched it while relaxing.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,yet another quiet day as I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle against the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.It is never an easy thing to deal with on a daily basis.My moods and/or emotions change by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I have nothing to worry about nor dread when both God and Christ are there to get me through.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,a double whammy hit me late last night and in the wee early morning hours today when I gave into temptation last night by masturbating and when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection out of a deep sleep.I tossed and turned until the erection softened as I didn't want to give in again like I did late last night.When I did give in late last night,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive and also pleaded to God for his mercy as this was yet another fall of mine as a result of lustful images of men creeping into my mentality.I am really going through a very complex emotional pattern right now as a result of this being the holiday season and that it is the first without my mom being around.I am now seeing that Satan is using this complex emotional pattern to really try to make it difficult for me to continue in my fight against this terrible SSA and the unnatural desires that are related to the SSA condition.It is bad enough that I am going through this terrible SSA thing,but the complex emotions that are really starting to pile up mentally on me is just too much for me to handle right now.Since my mom died in September of this year,I am really starting to feel the loneliness of not having her around and also,I am still feeling her absence and it is really getting to me.I know that these things will heal in time and that it will take a while for me to really adjust to this.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who continues to follow and read my blog as I really desperately need them.I am also again asking that you please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as my blog does attract visitors,but nobody leaves a word or two of encouragement for me.Both prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and struggle and also,they both make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA condition.Please pray for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two.I would really appreciate both of these things.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty quiet day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I decided to get dressed and proceed with the rest of the day.
I first mailed out a whole bunch of Christmas cards today and since I was running late,I headed over to the group place,but when I arrived there,they told me that the group was canceled as a result of a function that was going on.As a result of this inconvenience,including not being told ahead of time about such things,such as a group cancellation,I headed for home a little disappointed.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to deposit a refund check that I just received.After that,I went to the gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and when I was finished,I relaxed while watching a movie that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty quiet day and I did manage to get in some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still struggling with the daily struggles of having BPD and still continuing to deal with the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more of God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I really don't know if I am coming or going here.I again gave into temptation today by masturbating and yes,there was lusting involved with this as well.I really felt miserable after this fall and I really asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for this particular fall and asked for God's mercy at the same time.I have been falling pretty much lately.This year,the holiday season is bringing me mixed emotions.This is actually the first holiday season without my mom and a lot of complex emotional patterns are really taking their toll on me.As stated,I really don't know if I am coming or going and it is really bringing me down.Though I did feel better and know that I was forgiven for this fall,I have to keep in mind that Satan is going to use these complex emotions as his weapon to get me to sin seriously.I have to continue to work on staying strong and keeping aware of Satan's motives.I am just going to have to start praying really hard and really and seriously ask God for the strength to get me through the complex emotions that I am experiencing as a result of my mom's absence during this holiday season.I am still missing her and I am still wishing that she were still here rather than deceased.I am going to have to really work hard and keep praying.I don't want to sin,but my sinful nature wants me to do the opposite.I am also continuing to ask all of you who follow and read my blog to continue praying for me and also to please leave an encouraging word or two as both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning,nearly oversleeping,and showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up real quickly and I headed over to church for the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home.I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit.I firs had a light lunch and after that,I did my personal PC work.
Today,I was invited to a birthday party for a long time friend of mine and after I got dressed when my personal PC work was done,I headed over to his place to pick him up and take him to where the party was being held.
The party was wonderful.After it was over,I dropped him off at home and I headed straight home myself.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church makes the day eventful and the birthday party was swell indeed.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still battling and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one minute to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was once again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for a while and I stayed sitting up until the erection softened and I went back to sleep once it did.Fortunately for me,I was around some company as a result of the birthday party and that was wonderful as since I was around others,I wasn't tempted to act out by other means aside from seeking out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them.I didn't get any temptations to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping or even to masturbate.While it didn't happen for much of the day,I am still asking that all of you who repeatedly follow and read my blog to continue praying for me and to also write an encouraging word or two in the comments section on my blog as both your prayers and comments help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and also,make me even more determined to overcome SSA.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual building and improving self esteem group.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ