Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PVC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had only a few things on my agenda for today.After doing all of my personal morning stuff at home,I went over to my grand nieces' and grand nephew's school to pick them up and take them home.I also babysat them for a little over an hour and after that,I headed over to the local Sears to make a payment on my credit card bill and after that was done,I headed over to the post office to mail out an important payment and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day or by the minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the early morning hours by masturbating,and yes,there was lusting involved with this.I really felt miserable after this and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that temptation and I did feel better after that.I was tempted throughout the day to act out by fantasies and lusting and to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I was tempted to indulge in genital manipulation alongside being tempted to fantasize and lust and I kept up in prayer to God all day in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist all of these temptations that kept coming at me.I kept it up and I always felt batter after praying and asking for strength to help me fight and resist all of these temptations.I always felt better after that and knew that God and his son Christ Jesus were there helping me.I am also again asking for prayers and for words of encouragement by everyone who follows my blog.Please continue in prayer for me and also,I would really appreciate an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to go on as usual.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and i got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to drop off a job application at the city school district building and I headed back home to do some snow shoveling on the sidewalk leading to the mailbox and to the back porch and after that was done,I relaxed for a while.
I also had a scheduled meeting with the pastor of my church.I wanted to discuss with him about starting to have relationships with the other men in the congregation as well as how I can talk to them about my struggles with SSA.I understand that it is a tricky thing to talk about with other men,especially if they really don't know anything about this particular struggle and what leads anyone to have struggles of this nature.
The short meeting went great and after it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw a little money and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to go on as usual,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It's bad enough that I have to put up with the emotional ups and downs of BPD,but what makes the struggle worse is that I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that means putting up with hallucinatory stuff that only I can hear and nobody else can.It's difficult enduring with the double whammy that I have as far as having a psychiatric disability goes.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone as far as this struggle goes and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up and didn't lay back down until the erection had softened.When it did,though it took a while for the erection to soften,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purposes of getting them near/fully erect and/or near the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,there was a little bit of lusting involved.I stopped myself and I immediately asked God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in even more fantasy styled stuff and I kept up in prayer all day as they came around.I kept up asking God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me and I did feel better.I will have to keep on remembering to keep going to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these terrible temptations come at me from all sides.I can't let these unnatural desires that I have own me.I have to show these unnatural desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.Please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this and also pray that I start having some healthy,authentic and real Christian friendships with other men because I really want to heal and overcome this terrible SSA.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your prayers and encouragement help keep me going in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and make me even more determined to overcome SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Big Lots for a bottle of windshield washer fluid and after paying for that,I headed over to a local Chinese restaurant for a little take home lunch.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit.I had my lunch and after I was finished,I did my personal PC work.After that,I relaxed for a while and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is very difficult having this type of thing as my emotions very from day to day or from minute/moment to minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my struggles with SSA any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and the power that both God and his son Christ gives goes beyond what any human therapy,including prescribed medication,can give.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I simply chose to sit up and attempt to get out of bed and while I was doing this,the erection softened and when it was fully soft,I simply went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting with men and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I prayed to God,and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges and I felt better after praying.I kept it up as the urges kept coming at me from all sides and I felt better after praying.I felt stronger and I also felt God and his son Christ Jesus were both there for me giving me this strength and I simply moved on by doing something else.Though I have been doing that,I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts to continue in prayer for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I ask this because both your prayers and your positive encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight,gives me even more strength and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.My blog also gets plenty of visitors,but the visitors usually don't leave an encouraging word or two for me.Don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.It can be a helpful verse or account from the Holy Bible or simply telling me to continue in my journey to overcome SSA in many ways.I would really love it if anyone who visits would do that.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continuous prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they give and provide.
Tomorrow,I will be turning in another job application and I have an appointment to meet with the pastor of my church to discuss some stuff.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and was hoping to go to the monthly Men's Network meeting,but the roads were really covered up with snow and I really had a hard time trying to control my car while driving,though I was going as carefully slow as I could,but couldn't keep it straight.As a result of this,I headed straight home and when I got there,I e-mailed the group leader explaining why I couldn't make it as a result of the weather and the roads and I am hoping that he understands.
I simply did my personal PC work and I relaxed for a while.
In the early afternoon,I headed over to my niece's house to babysit her kids for a few hours.The kids were well behaved and all and after my niece came home,I headed over to a local pizzeria to but a small personal pizza for dinner as it was a little too late for me to cook anything.After getting that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I at my personal pizza and relaxed for the rest of the evening.Overall, a pretty fair day,though I did accomplish reading some recommended Holy Bible chapters.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in this difficult struggle against the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It is bad enough that my moods and/or emotions vary by the day or by the minute/moment,but I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I talk to God about this in his son Christ Jesus' name and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I tossed and turned until the erection softened and when it did,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after getting up by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or near the point of orgasm and stopping and there was lusting involved as well.I stopped myself and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and after the prayer,I felt better as I believed that I was forgiven.I had to keep up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ as temptation kept coming at me left and right.The struggle with SSA is a very difficult one indeed and temptation can come at anyone who struggles with SSA when least expected.I get tempted constantly to act out on the unnatural desires that I have and I have to keep fighting them and resisting to act out on them constantly.I kept throwing every temptation on God and asked him for strength to fight and resist all these temptations in the name of his son Christ Jesus.I always felt better when I did so and I am now going to try and make it a habit to keep throwing every temptation on God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and keep asking him for the strength to help me fight and resist all of these temptations.I am also again asking that all of you who continually follow and read my blog posts to continue praying for me and also,don't be shy when visiting and please share an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that both prayers and encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.It is just that my blog gets plenty of visitors and/or possibly curious types,but I usually never get any encouraging words.Please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section when visiting and also,please keep up in prayer for me as I really need all the prayers that I can get from those who follow and read my blog.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual in the morning,including the Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work,got dressed and before proceeding with the rest of the day,I had a light lunch.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money that I needed.After doing that,I headed over to a local gas station to get some gas and after that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to check up on a friend to see how he was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the money away in a safe place and I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle against the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD and even my SSA struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I must confess that I again gave into temptation for the second consecutive time this week when I masturbated to sexual images of men early this morning.I really felt miserable after this fall and though I did feel that way,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and I also pleaded for his mercy because I really felt so unworthy of him after this particular consecutive fall.I did feel better after that,but I was still tempted again throughout the rest of the day.Whenever the temptations came around and they were really aggressive,I asked God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me strength to continue fighting and resisting these terrible temptations.I wish that at times,I never had to struggle with this terriblel thing because it is very difficult to struggle with,and it can try to wear out anyone who is trying to stay sexually sober and trying to please God amidst the struggle.The only thing that I refuse to do is give Satan and his minions what they want,which is to syurrender to these unnaturak desires that I have and indulge in all the sinful sexual activity that the so called "Gay" lifestyle offers.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity,but I always willfully choose to stay home or if I go out,I try to seek out positive associations that I know won't lead to any sort of sinful sexual encounters.As usual,I am again asking that those who continually follow and read my blog to continue praying for me.I am in desperate need of prayer as I am going through a lot of difficult stuff right now that are very emotionally complex.I also ask that you please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your prayers and encouraging comments help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and positive encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual monthly Men's Network meeting tomorrow and I am hoping that it goes great.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I headed over to my usual Spirituality group.
The group meeting was wonderful as I did get a lot out of it.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after I was done with that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him When I got home,I relaxed and did my personal PC work.After that,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Christ Jesus whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning by masturbating.I was also lusting as well alongside that.I immediately asked God to forgive in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I did feel better.I also continued in prayer to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus all through the day as temptation wouldn't leave me alone.I kept throwing every temptation on God and asking him for strength in Christ Jesus' name and I felt better.I am glad that God and Christ Jesus are both understanding and loving and that God freely forgives no matter how many times that I fall.I am again asking that everyone who continually follows and reads my blog to continue in prayer for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I ask because both your prayers and your encouraging comments both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome SSA.It is just that most people visit,but usually don't leave an encouraging comment or two in the comments.Please don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging comment or two in the comments section and also,please continue in prayer for me as well.Your prayers and your encouraging words are very much appreciated.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I got a couple of phone calls today from both my locally living sister and my father.They both wished me a Happy Birthday and I Thanked them.I also got quite a few birthday wishes from many of my friends on Facebook and that was wonderful.
I had a meeting with my case worker here at the house and after that was over,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed and after paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I got ready for my dinner engagement as my sister and her boyfriend invited me out to dinner as a birthday surprise for me.
The dinner was wonderful.I ate so much that I was really full.After the dinner was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player.
Since I ate out tonight,it gave me a break from cooking something.Overall,a very good and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they both help in sustaining me.I never have anything to worry about or fear when it comes this constant emotional roller coaster ride connected with having BPD or the hallucinatory effects connected with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have.I do feel a tad better when I know that God and Christ are both leading the way.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for a while and didn't go back to sleep until the erection softened.When it did,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,there was lusting and fantasizing of other men involved with this as well.I stopped myself and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into the temptation to commit that unclean and impure act that I did and I felt better.For the rest of the day,I was only tempted again only once and I threw that temptation on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist that temptation and I felt better after praying for that strength.For much of the day,since I wasn't home,but having dinner out of the house as a result of my birthday,I wasn't really tempted anymore to act out on the unnatural desires that I have as a result of SSA and the celebrations took my mind off of my struggles and that was great.I am again that everyone who follows my blog to continue praying for me and to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your positive encouragement help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards.As for the rest of the day,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did my personal PC work.I had a few things planned for today and I wanted to get them done.
I first went to my appointment with the nurse practitioner at the local hospital.After the session with her,I headed over to a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed to a local supermarket to pick up one more things that I needed.After paying for that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions are always on a constant up and down scale and at times,it can get pretty nerve racking.While having BPD is bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus whenever this particular struggle seems to get way too unbearable for me to handle.Whenever the symptoms try to get the better of me,I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this struggle and that is pretty good to know.God and his son Christ Jesus collectively can help get me through anything.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came again when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.Fortunately,it didn't last very long.I simply turned to my left in bed and the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into temptation later on in the morning by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men while still in bed and trying to make myself wake up.After that happened,I did ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and I felt better.I kept up in prayer to God all day because the temptations to act out by fantasizing and manipulating my genitals while fantasizing really came at me.I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help give me the strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations.I felt stronger after praying and I kept up in it whenever these temptations came at me and tried to envelope me.I had to show that I owned my desires and not the opposite way.I also had to try and show that my sexuality doesn't own me,but I own it.I kept up in prayer all day and asked God in Christ Jesus' name for strength to continue to fight and resist all of these temptations.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read it to continue praying for me as well.I also ask that you leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section for me as well.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight against SSA and make me even more determined to overcome it.Please continue praying for me and again,leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and proceeded to do my personal PC work,but there were some problems on Yahoo.When I was signed into my Yahoo e-mail account,the e-mails were having a hard time loading.I kept pushing retry,but that also didn't work.I signed out and tried the other web browsers that I have downloaded,but unfortunately,the problem persisted.I decided to sign out of Yahoo for a while and waited for about half an hour to return to doing my work,which worked.I finished my work and I proceeded with the rest of the day as I had a couple of things planned.
I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things that I needed for the rest of the week.After paying for those things,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day and I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is never an easy thing to deal and struggle with and at times,it can get pretty difficult and exhausting.My moods and/or emotions very by the day and sometimes,by the minute/moment within the same day.I am still attending my therapy sessions,which tomorrow will be when I meet with the nurse practitioner over at the local hospital.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more of the power of God and his son Christ Jesus collectively whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is great that I am not struggling alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for the power that they provide to help get me through all the negative stuff that my disability can bring and try to bring me down.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to indulge in masturbation when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use all the strength that I had to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I started to sit up in bed and proceeded to get out and that is when the erection started to soften.I got up and started to walk and the erection got even softer.After using the bathroom,I headed back to bed and to sleep and when I got back to bed,the erection had fully died down.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in sexual fantasies and lusting to sexual images of men.Whenever these images try to envelope me,I always have the urge to grab my genitals and manipulate them for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,but at times,ejaculation does occur in the midst of it.When these urges came around at me,I immediately turned to God in prayer and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist these temptations.I kept up in prayer to him and his son Christ Jesus until the urges died down and my mind was clear.At times,I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I willfully choose to stay home when that particular temptation comes around and I also ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight this particular urge and to get the immoral thoughts out of my mind.I am also again asking that all of you who continually follow and read my blog to keep up in prayer for me because I am still in desperate need of prayer as these temptations have been coming at me from all sides.Please keep up in prayer for me.I also ask that you leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your encouraging words and prayers help keep me going.Please don;t be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me alongside your prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for also being there for me and for all that they give and provide.
Tomorrow,as stated,I have an appointment with the nurse practitioner and I am hoping that it all goes well.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning,though a little later than I wanted to,and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in suit and headed over to the church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful as there were quite a few people worshiping today.After some wonderful fellowship with the people,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit.I had a light lunch and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I still attend my therapy sessions,which I have this coming Tuesday when I have to see the nurse practitioner at the local hospital.I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not suffering alone and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came to me again in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I tried tossing and turning,but to no avail.I sat up and didn't touch myself as I did have the overwhelming urge to do that as well.This time,I really had to throw this temptation on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist this urge.At times,and this wee early morning hour today was no exception,sexual images and lustful thoughts of other men cloud my mind and I really had to ask God and his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge and I kept up in prayer until the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lustful thoughts of other men and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or near the point of orgasm and stopping.Each and every time that urge came,I prayed to God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist all the urges.It is difficult struggling with SSA and it is never an easy thing,but the best thing is that God and his son Christ Jesus are always there to help out when they are asked.It is great that they are because without them,I would be falling and giving into the urges everyday and every night.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog and to also please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Why?Because both your prayers and your positive encouragement help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome SSA.Please leave an encouraging comment or two and also,please continue in prayers for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and i got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things planned.I first dropped something off at my niece's house and after that was done,I headed to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day and I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and its accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods do vary from day to day,or,from minute/moment to minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I still attend my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I always feel a tad better whenever I talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ,and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this fight and struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for helping me get through this particular struggle.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,but it didn't last very long.I started sitting up as I felt the need to use the bathroom and the erection started to soften.After finishing in the bathroom,the erection fully softened and I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after getting up later while sitting in a chair by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.Admittedly,there was some lusting involved.I stopped myself and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for doing this as it was wrong,unclean and impure for me to do.I must admit that the SSA struggle is no picnic.For me,temptations come when least expected and I am always fighting these temptations or when I do give into them,I do ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for doing so and I do feel better afterwards.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and asked for strength to help me fight and resist all urges that came around.I also admit that at times,I do get tempted to seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I willfully choose to stay home when that temptation comes around.I kept up in prayer to God all day and felt better afterwards.I am also again asking that everyone who follows and reads my blog posts to continue praying for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging comments both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA.It is just that my blog gets visitors,but nobody even leaves an encouraging comments or two.Please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Please don't be shy when visiting this blog.Please leave an encouraging comment or two in the comments section.It would really make my day if you do so.Thanks in advance to all of your for your prayers and encouraging words.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all that they do and provide.
With the exception of church tomorrow,I really have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
The first thing that I did was that I went to the post office to mail out an important bill payment.After that was done,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those items,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.I didn't go out again for the rest of the day as the weather was still "COLD!",with wind-chills in the -10 range.I have heard that it is supposed to warm up next week,but that can change before it is known.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still continuing my therapy and continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I have nothing to fear as they are leading the way.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I fell early this morning by masturbating.I really felt miserable after this fall and really felt like there was a weight crushing me down.After the fall,I immediately asked God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I did feel better as I really believed that I was forgiven.I still get tempted throughout the day everyday as temptations come at me left and right and today was no exception.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in sinful sexual behavior,but I did keep up in prayer as I was tempted.I kept asking god in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to help me fight and resist all of the temptations that came at me and I did feel better after praying for that.I am also still going to continue to ask for prayers by everyone out there who follows and reads my blog and what I post on here.I am also again asking for encouraging words by all of you in the comments sections as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans,with the exception of church on Sunday.But I do hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did 3/4 of my personal PC work.After that,I headed out to my Thursday morning spirituality group.
The group meeting was wonderful as I did get a lot out of it.After the meeting,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch.After eating lunch,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to visit with a friend of mine and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed for the drug store to pick up my psychiatric medication.After paying the co=pay on this,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped off my prescription and my copy of the Holy Bible and I headed back out again.I headed over to the local Salvation Army thrift store and bought a few things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I shoveled the walk leading to the mailbox for the mailman and I also shoveled the sidewalk in front of the house.I also shoveled the walk on the way to the porch as we did get a lot of snow overnight and the weather lately has been really "COLD!"I also shoveled the back porch and after it was done,I went into the house to warm up and relax for a while.I also watched a little TV while doing so.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It's bad enough that I am going through that,but on top of having BPD,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It never gets any easier for me.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with both God and his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.It is great that God and his son Christ Jesus are there for me whenever I am having any difficulties trying to stay sane and clam under the pressure of this double whammy of mental illness that I have.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,though fortunately,it didn't last long.As I started to sit up in bed,the erection softened and when it was fully soft,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in lustful and sinful behavior connected with this terrible SSA.I was tempted throughout the day to fantasize and imagine myself in something sexual with other men.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these terrible temptations came around and I asked for strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations and I always felt better every time I did.I kept it up all day and it was wonderful that God and Christ heard me and helped me whenever I needed it.Though I have been doing that,I am also asking that all my followers and readers of my blog to continue praying for me and also to leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA.Please continue praying for me and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide as they help everyone in ways beyond any human therapy can do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had only a few things planned for today.I first went to the local Big Lots to pick up a couple of things and after paying for those,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a few more things.After paying for those items,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to visit with a friend to see how he was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Christ Jesus whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I have nothing to fear nor anything to worry about in regards to this particular struggle with mental illness and how terrible it can be from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate hot me twice at two separate intervals in the wee early morning hours when two throbbing erections woke me up out of a deep sleep at both those intervals.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist these two urges.I tossed and I turned on both these occurrences and they died down.I went back to sleep at both these times when they did soften.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was tempted to indulge in lustful fantasies and to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or near the posit of orgasm and stopping.The sexual images really tried to envelope me,but I knew that I had to fight and resist these urges.I prayed hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these terrible urges that came about and I really prayed as hard as I could as I didn't want to give Satan, the devil what he wanted and I did feel better after praying for that.I kept it up all day whenever these terrible temptations came around.Though I escaped all of that by prayer,I am still asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to continue in prayer for me and to also leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA.Please continue in prayers for me and also,leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouraging words.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my Thursday Spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had only a couple of things planned for today.I first went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is really difficult to deal with day to day,or at times,minute/moment to minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that with God and his son Christ Jesus leading the way,I have nothing to worry about or fear.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,another throbbing morning erection woke me up out of a deep sleep and my temptations to masturbate it away were really strong.I sensed that I had t use the bathroom and I got up and headed for there.As I was heading for there,the erection started to soften and after I was finished,the erection was fully soft and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted to act out throughout the day.I was tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping and/or proceeding to masturbate.Yes,when I do that,sexual images of men and other sexual thoughts concerning men cloud my mind and I really had to pray real hard to get rid of those lustful and immoral thoughts.I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ repeatedly to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations and also,to help me clear my mind of the lustful and immoral thoughts.I always felt better after praying and I kept it up throughout the day as the thoughts and the temptations kept coming at me.I again ask for prayers by those who follow my blog and read my posts.Please continue praying for me as I am going through all of this stuff as I am working to get back on an even keel emotionally.I also ask for an encouraging word or two in the comments section of my blog as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going.I will also continue in prayer to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and again,please continue to pray for me and again,please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you followers for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work,but since it was cold and snowy today,I didn't go out too much today.I chose to stay home for much of the day and decided to simply relax and pop a DVD in the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have to put up with schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I still continue to attend my therapy sessions and I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply put this in God's hands and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through and they both help in sustaining me.It is wonderful that I don't have to suffer alone and that both God and Christ are there.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they provide as they give power beyond what any human therapy can offer.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am going to be very blunt and honest here in regards to where I am at with this.I gave into temptation this morning when I,while sitting in a chair shortly after getting up,manipulated my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,only to proceed to masturbation and after I did that,I felt really miserable afterwards.After washing my hands,I asked God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to forgive me for falling short and I also begged for God to give me his undeserved mercy for this fall as I have been falling quite a bit lately.I felt better after the prayer as I truly believed that God has forgiven me.I have to continue to try and keep up in prayer to God whenever any type of temptation starts to try and envelope me.I have to try and keep up and asking God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist all these terrible temptations.I can't just keep falling all the time whenever these temptations come around.I have to try and keep working and staying in touch with both God and his son Christ Jesus whenever these terrible temptations come around.I am again asking those who continually follow my blog and read the posts that I write here to please continue in keeping up prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in this journey to overcome this terrible SSA.I may have fallen today,but I am still going to continue in my journey and I refuse to surrender to these unnatural desires that I have.I willfully refuse to give Satan what he wants as he wants me to give up and surrender to these unnatural desires that I have,but again,I willfully refuse to give him what he wants.Again,please keep up in prayers for me and also encouraging words in the comments section.I will also keep up in prayer to God and his son Christ Jesus as well.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful and I did get a lot out of both of them.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my sweat suit.I had a light lunch and after I was done with that,I did my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful as for me,going to church every Sunday makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have alongside the BPD and it's a double whammy that really gets difficult to handle.I am still attending my therapy sessions and they are going great.I am also still taking my medication as directed and it is working pretty good for me.Despite the therapy and medication,I am still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of bringing this to both God and Christ Jesus,putting it in their hands and them leading the way once I have done so.It shows that I am not alone and that I have nothing to worry about or fear.Thanks to both God and his son Christ for the power that they provide as they provide power and strength far beyond what any human therapy can provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was plagued by a triple whammy in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by throbbing erections in the wee early morning hours at three separate intervals.The first two didn't last very long,but the third one was the worst of the three.I had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this difficult temptation as there were sexual images of men creeping up into my mind.I simply started to get up and headed towards the bathroom,but the erection still wasn't softening.This time,I really had to pray hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ as this was a very overwhelming urge.I prayed real hard and I kept asking God in the name of his son Christ Jesus for strength to help me fight and resist this overwhelming temptation and as I prayed,the erection started softening and after I used the bathroom,I went back to bed and went right back to sleep.Though I escaped this triple whammy,which was the first triple whammy that I had in a long time,I had to keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I was being tempted to act out throughout the whole day.I was being tempted to act out by fantasies and masturbation to these fantasies,or to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,or to simply masturbate the rest of the way once orgasm has come.I was tempted to do all of that throughout he day and I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all day and asked them to give me strength to fight and resist every urge/temptation that came at me from all sides.I always felt better after praying for that strength and it always worked.I kept taking it to God and God provided everything asked.I am again also asking for prayers by those who continually follow my blog and read my blog posts and also,some encouraging words by all of my followers in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of my followers for their prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,despite some setbacks.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I wok up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed over to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,despite some setbacks,I am still battling and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It's bad enough that I am struggling with BPD,but I also struggle with schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of bringing up with God and Christ what I am struggling with and them not only sustaining me,but also understanding at the same time.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came again to me in the wee early morning hours when yet another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use everything in my own power to fight and resist this temptation to masturbate the erection away.I simply sat up and began to get out of my bed to walk to the bathroom as I had to use it.After using the bathroom,I went back to sleep as the erection had fully softened.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out in many ways.I had to keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist all of the temptations that came at me.I kept up in prayer and kept asking for strength to fight and resist each and every temptation that came at me from all sides.I always felt better after doing all of that as I knew that both God and Christ heard me and helped me.I kept it up all day and really worked hard to resist all types of temptations,with the help of God and Christ,of course.I always have to keep in mind that I can't go through this struggle alone as alone,I am weak and without relying on God and Christ,I would give into all sorts of temptations.I still,at times,get tempted to go out and seek other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I willfully choose to stay home when that particular temptation comes around.Though I am keeping up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ,I am still asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts.I am always in need of prayer by everyone who understands what I am going through and also,please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section,as both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for all your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide in this fight against this terrible SSA.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual,including the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
It snowed overnight where I am living.Before leaving the house to do anything,I had to warm up my car and while that was happening,I had to brush the snow off of my car as it had accumulated pretty much overnight.The weather was also cold,but not chilly or freezing.After my car was fully warmed up and I was finished brushing off the snow,I headed out to do what I had to do.
I first went to a local supermarket to turn in some cans and bottles that had accumulated in my trunk and after that was done,I headed over to the bank to withdraw some much needed money.After that was done,I headed straight home as I had nothing else to do as a result of the weather.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It that isn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my BPD and SSA struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply have God and his son Jesus Christ take the lead and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone here in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.It also makes me feel a tad better as well.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours when I masturbated.I really felt terrible after this happened and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for failing.I did feel better knowing that I was forgiven,but I seriously have to keep working on myself.I have to start thinking of things that will take my mind off of anything sexual.As of late,sexual thoughts have been entering my mind and I have been trying to shake them,but so far,I am failing to do so.I will just have to keep trying to find new ways that I can substitute those immoral sexual thoughts that have been creeping up into my mind.I don't want to think of anything sexual with men anymore.I want to think pure,wholesome holy and clean thoughts of my fellow men.I want and have to start thinking of men as my fellow spiritual brothers and not there for anything else other than that.I again ask that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to continue in prayers for me as I am still trying to work through this complex emotional time and period.I also ask that all of you leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments.Please don't be shy.I get many visitors,but usually,the visitors don't leave me any encouraging words for me as to what I can do and how to stay feeling good about myself despite my repeated failings.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.I also again ask that you keep up in prayer for me as both your prayers and encouraging words do help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.I don't want to think of anything immoral in the sexual sense anymore.These immoral thoughts are also driving me up the wall.Please help me.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed,did my personal PC work and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I first went to my usual Spirituality group and the group went well.I got a lot out of it.After the group was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for some lunch.After lunch,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while as I was feeling a little tired.Later on,I watched a movie.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My emotions and/or moods vary from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with both BPD and SSA even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I never have nothing to worry about nor fear as they are leading the way in this particular struggle.I also feel a tad better knowing that they are.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.It didn't last too long as I had to get up and use the bathroom.The erection softened as I was heading for there and after I was done,the erection had died down and I went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation by manipulating my genitals and there was also lusting involved,but I stopped myself before it went too far and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for doing that unclean and impure thing.I felt better afterwards,but I was still in the daily battle over these unnatural desires that I have.As with the last several days as a result of some complex emotional patterns,my mind was being preoccupied with sexual thoughts of men and lusting.I really want to stop thinking about sex and I want to own the unnatural desires that I have and not have them own me.I also don't want to think of sexual things connected with the unnatural desires that I have any more.I am again asking that everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts to continue praying for me as I am going through all of this complexity.I also ask that none of you be shy and say an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed quickly and did my personal PC work.I had only a couple of things planned for today and I wanted to get them done.
I first went to the bank top cash a check and after that,I headed over to my sister's house to get my laundry done as I had a lot.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be day after day or minute/moment to minute/moment.It is a never ending battle and struggle.While having BPD is bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD and also,my SSA struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I never worry when my BPD/Schizophrenia struggles seemingly get way too overwhelming for me to handle as God and his son Christ Jesus are there leading the way for me and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Christ for everything that they do and provide for me to help get me through the worst of this struggle with BPD/Schizophrenia.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.Fortunately,it didn't last long.I had to use the bathroom,so I got up and walked to the bathroom and the erection started to soften and was fully soft when I reached the bathroom.I simply went back to sleep once I was finished in the bathroom.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation of manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.There was also a little lusting involved with that as well.Before it went too far,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and asked him to help me get my mind off sexual thoughts of men and thinking pure thoughts of men and to help me look at them as spiritual brothers and not as fantasy guys and/or for other selfish reasons.I was really sorry for that and I really don't know what has been coming over me.Lately,sex with men has been creeping up into my mentality repeatedly and I really want to stop thinking of sinful sexual things with other men.I want to think pure,wholesome and holy thoughts of other men and mot the opposite.It has been very overwhelming for me as of late.I again appeal to all of you out there who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am in real desperate need of it.I also ask that you don't be shy and please an encouraging word or two for me as both your prayers and encouraging words both help keep me going.It is just that my blog gets a lot of visitors,but usually,nobody ever leaves an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I do get an encouraging word or two once in a while,but I really need them constantly.Please say an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section and also,please continue in prayer for me as well.Your prayers and encouraging words are very much appreciated.Thanks to all of you in advance for your prayers and your words of encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all that they give and provide.
Tomorrow,I have a Spirituality group that I must attend and later,I will be having lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a few things planned.
I first went to see my therapist and the session went well.After that,I headed over to a friend's place to see how he was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those items,I was hoping to head over to the bank to cash a check,but the time that I arrived at K-Mart,it was too late as the bank was closed.I will just have to do that tomorrow before anything else.After doing that,I stopped at another friends place to see how he was doing.After talking with him for a few minutes,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues unabated,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next or from one minute/moment to the next.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is very good.It is also great that God and Christ are there to help out when asked.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am again going to be very blunt and honest with all of you who follow and read my blog posts.I have been tempted left and right as of late.I admit that early this morning,I gave into that terrible habit of masturbation and it was to sexual images of men.Lately,sex has been clouding my mind.It has been coming into my mind through many forms.It just won't leave me alone.I don't want to think of anything sexual in regards to men or even members of the opposite gender for that matter.I just want the sexual thoughts to disappear.I don't want to think about them anymore.There are times that this gets so terrible that I feel like throwing in the towel and start seeking other men to indulge in sinful sexual activity with them,but I willfully refuse to do that.I have chosen to stand my ground.I am willfully refusing to give Satan,the author of the sinful sexual activity between two members of the same gender and every immoral sexual activity,any satisfaction.I also refuse to let anyone who inadvertently represents Satan,which are those so called "Gay" activists,mental health professionals who constantly advise those who want to break free from that type of sexual immorality to embrace the identity and go out and live their lives as such and even all of those news media stories reporting constantly of those who choose to live that immoral and sinful sexual lifestyle that they label the so called "Gay" lifestyle getting married to each other,when in reality,God made man and woman and only approves of healthy and happy Heterosexuality as God doesn't acknowledge anything else other than that.I have chosen to stand my ground and tell that wicked and powerful angel who is called Satan that I am not giving him what he wants.I refuse to live that terrible sinful sexual lifestyle,including indulging in all the sinful sexual activity connected with it.This isn't an easy choice,I understand.But it is the choice that I am making and I am telling Satan to go to Hell where he belongs.When I did give into the temptation to that terrible unclean and impure masturbation habit,I humbly asked for God's forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I also begged for God's mercy because I have been falling so much lately that I always feel unworthy of his forgiveness,his love and his mercy.I felt better afterwards.Again,I am asking that everyone who follows and reads my blog posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am in real desperate need of it.I also ask that all of you who follows and read my blog to also please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.As I have said before and I will say it again,both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this difficult fight against this terrible SSA and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Please don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets a lot of visitors,but none of them ever leave an encouraging word or two for me to help keep me going in this difficult fight against this terrible SSA and the unnatural desires associated with it.Please pray for me and leave an encouraging word or two for me.I would really appreciate all of that.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for all that they provide and also,Thank You God for your forgiveness,your mercy and for making me a male.
Tomorrow,I am going to cash that check and get my much needed money and after that,I am going over to my sister's house to do my laundry.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much to do today.I simply went to the local Super Wal-Mart to do a little bit more shopping.After I was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at my insurance agents office to pay my car insurance for the month.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is always a daily struggle for me.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next as the roller coaster ride can go up and down on the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my struggles with SSA any easier.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to talk about this particular struggle with God and his son Jesus Christ.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours twice when throbbing erections woke me up out of a deep sleep at two separate intervals in the wee early morning hours.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist these urges.I sat up during the first one and after the erection softened,I went back to sleep.Regarding the second occurrence,I had to get up and use the bathroom and as I walked to the bathroom,the erection softened and was fully soft when I entered the bathroom to use it.After I was finished,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this double whammy,I went through several bouts of temptation throughout the day.I had to really have God and Christ get involved here because I want to keep a clean mind and think pure,wholesome and holy thoughts about my fellow men and not the opposite.I really had to throw every temptation on both God and Christ and I kept asking for strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me.Throughout the day,I never know what will enter my mind as the idea of indulging in sinful sexual activity with another man can start flooding my mind and try to take over my entire being.But I know that I have to stay on guard and be watchful and pray very hard whenever these things happen.I am also continuing to ask for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section,as both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for all the help that they provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I got out of bed a little later than usual and I had to shower quickly.After my shower,I quickly ate my usual quick breakfast and had to settle on just one cup of coffee this morning.After breakfast,I immediately got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.Everyone told me how much they missed me and that they were glad to have me back.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my sweat suit.I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed for a while and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on the usual one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I still continue to attend my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I never have nothing to fear as long as God and Christ are leading the way.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I simply got up and I headed for the bathroom to use it and while walking there,the erection started to soften and when I went back to bed,the erection had fully softened.Though I escaped this episode,I have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I was tempted throughout the day and I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and kept asking for strength to fight and resist all the urges that came at me.I threw them all on God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and I always felt better as a result of that.I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who continues to follow my blog and read every post that I write on here and again,I also ask for words of encouragement by all of my followers.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for being there and also,for taking the lead.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ