Today,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as i had only a couple things on my agenda for today.
I first stopped at a local gas station to get some gas and after that was done,I headed over to the public library to print something important out of my e-mail.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and simply watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minuet/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I have nothing to fear nor worry about and that is good and relying more on God and Christ makes me feel a tad better as they help beyond what any human therapy can do.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,though it didn't last very long.I sat up for a while and as I started sitting up,the erection started to soften and I laid back down and back to sleep when my genitals were soft enough for me to do so.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,and yes,there was lusting and fantasies involved.The root cause of this was because I had just gotten up out of bed and I was still feeling tired and drowsy as a result of a side effect from the psychiatric medication that I take as directed and when I am tired or drowsy,sexual images of men can creep up into my mind and I get the urge to play with my genitals as a way of fantasizing with those images and near/full erections happen and orgasm follows right behind that.I immediately stopped this and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling short and I did feel better after doing so.Apparently,Satan and his minions are trying real hard to get me to reconsider returning to that sinful sexual lifestyle know as the so called "Gay" lifestyle and I willfully refuse to give the devil what he wants.Satan is using everything in his own power to get me to go against God's perfect law,which is the Holy Bible,and sin for the heck of it.Again,I willfully refuse to do that.Throughout the day,I kept up in prayer to God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to fight and resist these temptations as each and every time you resist any temptation,they keep coming back stronger than the last time.The more resistance one puts up,the more stronger the temptations come back.It is always a difficult struggle to do what is right in the eyes of God,but it can be done with his help if it is asked by the individual who struggles with anything that is sinful and is trying their best to try and please God,though there will be failures along the way.While I am keeping up in prayer,I am also again asking that everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts to continue praying for me as I am going through all of this and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I really need prayers and encouraging words and I ask that you please pray and leave something encouraging for me in the comments section.I simply refuse to let the unnatural desires that I have that are connected to SSA define nor dictate to me how I will be as a person.I refuse to accept no other identity,other than the true identity that I am,which is male/man and that I am human,which is all that I accept about myself.I refuse to accept the identity of Homosexual/Gay as there is no such thing as a Homosexual/Gay person,just the Homosexual condition.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and Christ Jesus for being there for me in this fight and for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my case worker.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.\
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I immediately got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Big Lots to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple more things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight and stayed home for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit.After hanging up my dress clothes,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and listened to a little bit of music.I also managed to watch a couple of DVD's as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church on Sunday makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes alongside it.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.It is always an up and down thing for me and that can be tiresome as well as monotonous for me at times.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows me that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that I have nothing to worry about or fear.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I had to use all of my own strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I tossed and turned,but the erection still continues to throb.I sat up and I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,I headed for there and the erection started to soften.After finishing in the bathroom,my genitals were now fully soft and I went right back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in sexual fantasies and lusting after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals while doing that.When these temptations came around,I prayed real hard for God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist all of these temptations that came at me from all sides.I prayed hard and kept praying until the temptations were reduced to nil and I would move on with the rest of the day.It is really difficult struggling with this terrible SSA.I am always in a daily battle with these unnatural sexual desires that I have and it is always a difficult battle that is fought.I get tempted to act out all the time and whenever these temptations seemingly get way too overwhelming,I go to God in prayer and ask him in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me the strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges.I am also learning on my own that the urges get stronger the more that they are resisted.It shoes that Satan is working hard to get me to go against God's perfect law in regards to sexuality and that can be really difficult to resist.I am also learning that it is much easier to give into any type of temptation as opposed to resisting the temptations.But again,I kept up in prayer to God all day and I didn't cease.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than give into that type of temptation.Why?It is because that acting out on these unnatural desires that I have will never give me what I truly want and need,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go along with that affirmation.It will also make me feeling even more empty and yearning for more as the fulfillment is only temporary.But aside from that type of temptation,I am still getting tempted to act out by lusting,fantasies and by manipulating my genitals to get them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,though orgasm does happen when I do that.I had to continue in my fight and keep asking God in the name of his son Christ Jesus for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations.While I am still keeping up in prayer,I am still continuing to ask that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to continue praying for me as I am going through all of this and also,to please not be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog does get visitors,but I rarely get any comments and/or encouraging words in the comments section.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA.Please don't be shy when visiting and reading my blog and please leave an encouraging word or two for me and also,please continue in prayer for me as I am in so desperate need of prayer.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first decided to pick up a prescription of mine from the drug store and after paying the co-pay for it,I decided to stop in and see how a friend of mine was doing.I hadn't heard from this friend in over a month and was really concerned about him.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Salvation Army thrift store to buy a few things.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I am always on this constant ride that can get monotonous day after day and/or minute/moment to minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with hallucinatory symptoms of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is great.It also shows that God and Christ Jesus are there to help lead the way and try to make me feel more a little at ease.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I tossed and turned,but the erection stayed hard and throbbed even more.I sat up and proceeded to get out of my bed and that is when the erection started to soften.I didn't lay back down again until the erection had fully died down and when it did,though it took a little longer for it to soften than usual,I simply got back into bed and right back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,lustful thoughts and sexual images of men also crept up into my mind while I was doing this.I stopped and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for these sinful things that I did and I truly believed that I was forgiven as I felt better after praying.I am learning day after day that the SSA struggle is a very difficult one indeed.I am always craving sex with other men and at times,lustful thoughts and sexual images of men creep up into my mind.When these things happen,I continually keep in mind that these cravings reveal a need that is emotional and not sexual.It is basically same sex emotional needs that need to be fulfilled authentically with positive male to male contact and having positive,authentic and healthy relationships with other men in a healthy Christian way and not in a sexual way.Day after day,I still get baloney from those who are active in that sinful sexual lifestyle known as the so called "Gay" lifestyle,such as "Being 'Gay' is NOT a lifestyle choice", "being 'Gay' is who you are and what you are and nothing can be done about it", "you're 'Born this way' and that's that", with the worst being "God made you 'Gay" for a reason and that sexual activity between two members of the same gender isn't as sinful as it made up to be."But fellow followers and readers,I know that these are all lies made up by men under the influence of Satan,the Devil as Satan wants those who have unnatural sexual desires for members of their own gender to simply go out,live it up and celebrate the "fact" that you are "Gay" and have as much sex as you want to.I know that Satan is out there waiting to devour people and make them turn against the true God,his church and also,his own only begotten son Jesus Christ and to simply ignore what the Holy Bible says as it is simply a mere book of fantasy stories written by different men with very wild imaginations.I hear all of that all of the time and at times,I wish that I didn't hear it so much.I know that the sexual activity between two members of the same gender is wrong and sinful as the Holy Bible,which is God's inspired word and perfect law,says that it is.These things that are written in the Holy Bible were written down for a reason.It was to protect us from the sinful world that is under the influence of Satan and where people are indulging in all the sinful sexual activity,including,but not limited to,the sexual activity between two members of the same gender,that the world offers and all other sorts of sinful activity.I also have to continually keep in mind that indulging in sinful sexual activity with another man is never going to get me what I truly want and truly need,which is affirmation of my gender identity,feelings of authenticity of being accepted by other men despite my faults and struggle and also,to feel like one of the guys and also,to feel like a man,as that type of sexual activity will only reinforce the so called "Gay" identity,which is the identity that I refuse to identify myself with.These unnatural sexual desires that I have are simply indications of deeper emotional needs that I have that need to be fulfilled in a healthy and authentic way and not sexual.While I do have these unnatural desires that are connected with SSA,I know that I have the choice whether or not that I want to act out on them and I am simply willfully choosing not to act out on them.Of course,that choice isn't easy to make as it is easier to choose to indulge in all that sinful sexual activity that the so called "Gay" lifestyle offers,but I look at it this way,I am not pleasing men by making that choice.I am simply pleasing God and showing that I truly accept his perfect law,the truth of his sacred word,the Holy Bible,and his true and real purposes in regards to how we are to act as his servants and also,accept his perfect laws in regards to sexuality.Admittedly,that choice isn't easy to make,but that choice does bring many rewards by God and Christ in the long run.I also would like to say again that the only identity that I accept is that I am a male and a man and aside from being a human being,I refuse to accept anything else other than that.I have disowned the "Gay" identity as I refuse to let the unnatural desires that I have define nor dictate to me how I will be or act.I have kept up in prayer all day whenever any temptations come at me and I ask for strength from God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to fight and resist all temptations as they came at me.Though I continue to do that,I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts regularly and also,I once again ask that you leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and also,they both make me even more determined to continue in my journey in overcoming this terrible SSA.It is just that my blog gets many visitors,but the visitors usually don't leave any encouraging comments or two.Please don't be shy and make my day by leaving an encouraging word or two in the comments section and also,please continue praying for me as well.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouraging words.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that give and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of church in the morning,I have really nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC and got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went over to a local garage to make an appointment to have an oil change done on my car and after that,I was hoping to head over to a friend's house to see how he was doing as I hadn't heard from him in over a month,but the snowfall and the sleet that we were having forced me to stay close to home and I decided to pay him a visit tomorrow instead.I decided to go to a local Burger King to have lunch and after I was done eating that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something I really needed and after paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I decided to fold up all of my laundry that was done early in the week.After that was done,I put it away in it's proper place and I relaxed for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride and at times,this ride can get pretty tiresome and monotonous.Aside from that struggle,I also struggle with schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and ask them for help in dealing with these things rightly and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone here and that is very good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this particular temptation as it was very overwhelming.I tossed and turned,but the erection wouldn't soften.I sat up for a while and took really deep breaths to try and resist,but that also didn't work as the erection continued to throb even more aggressively.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and I got up to walk to the bathroom and while on the way there,the erection started to soften and after I was finished,my genitals were fully flaccid and I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day and as the temptations came at me,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ in prayer to give me the strength to fight and resist all the temptations that were coming at me.I prayed very hard to ask for that strength and I always felt better each time I prayed and I moved on with the rest of the day.Last night,after doing some recommended Holy Bible reading,I prayed to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ regarding the anger issues that I had and I really opened up about them and openly expressed myself about them to God and asked him for strength to help me let go of the anger that I was feeling and also,asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive those who had made me angry in my life and I felt like a one trillion ton weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.I sensed that the anger issues that I was having and the feelings alongside them were why I was falling so much into masturbation and also,by fantasies and lusting alongside the masturbatory falls.Today,I was tempted again and I again prayed to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus for strength to continue fighting and resisting all the temptations that came at me and I always felt better when I did so.Though I am continuing to pray daily,I am also again asking for prayers by each and everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts.I am also asking that you don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section when you visit.It is just that my blog gets a lot of visitors,but rarely leave any encouraging comments.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section and keep up in prayer for me as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and also for being there for me whenever I really need them.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as as I had several things planned.
I first went to my Thursday morning spirituality group and it was a wonderful discussion.After the group was over,the agency provided a free pizza lunch and after I ate that,I headed straight home.
When I gt home,I dropped my bible off at home,packed away some money that I needed to pay a bill that I needed to send out and I left the house again to go to my therapist's office.
The session with my therapist went great and after that was over,I headed over to the post office to mail out an important bill that needed to be paid and after that,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after visiting with him for a few minutes,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.I also made several phone calls that I had to make and after that,I continued taking it easy.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I finished my personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle with BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment.They vary from being up and feeling good and/or down and not so good.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same times and I hear things that others don't hear,such as footsteps,a voice calling my name and when I turn around,there is nobody there.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggles of BPD/Schizophrenia seemingly get way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever I feel that it is getting too much and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do to help me get through this particular struggle.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming temptation.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and I got up and went there and as I was heading for there,the erection softened and when I was finished using the bathroom.my genitals were fully softened and I went right back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting,fantasies and to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.Yes,sexual images of men started to creep up into my mind.I prayed real hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I asked for strength to help me fight and resist these temptations and after I was finished praying each time,I felt better and stronger as I truly believed and felt that God and his son Christ Jesus heard me and they helped me fight and resist each temptation that came at me.These temptations can come around when least expected and I have to be ready when they do come.I am also again asking for prayers from everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts and also,I am again asking that you leave a positive encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Please continue in prayer for me and also,don't be shy and please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your positive encouragement.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a couple of things planned.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money for myself and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered the bill that I withdrew at the Where's George site and after that,I relaxed for a while.Before my relaxation,I paid a bill over the phone and was glad to have gotten that out of the way.
Today,I went to a special dinner over at the church,which gave me a break from cooking.I have been looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm as this was a time for fellowship and spiritual reflection.
The dinner was wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with some of the people that were there,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and read some recommended passages from the Holy Bible.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is never an easy thing to deal with.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment.It can be monotonous putting up with this emotional roller coaster ride constantly and at times,I wish that I didn't have to go through it.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles and my SSA struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I throw it on God and ask him in the name of his son Christ Jesus to get me through any of the negatives that happen and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this struggle and that is great.I simply just put it in the hands of both God and his son Jesus Christ and they lead the way.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide as they provide power beyond what any human therapy can give.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation for the second consecutive time this week as I masturbated to sexual images of men in the wee early morning hours as I also had a throbbing erection alongside all of that.When that happens,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for that fall and at the same time,asked God to show me his mercy as this was my second consecutive fall.I felt better after praying as I truly believe that God through his son Christ Jesus has forgiven me.Yes,I do truly believe that I was forgiven and I kept at it with praying through the day as I had temptations coming at me from all sides.I really had to pray hard and believe me,it isn't an easy thing to do when battling all sorts of temptations.It is easier to give into the temptations than it is to pray and ask for strength to fight and resist them.The only thing that I can't figure out is why I am falling so much.As stated,this was the second consecutive fall and I really don't know what the problem might be.I haven't looked at and/or watched any porn lately nor have I looked lustfully at anyone male or even female.I guess that it is because I am still feeling intense anger for some people and that is probably why I am falling quite a bit.I really need to learn to let go of this anger and continue in my healing process from SSA.I am not going to really heal unless I let go and sever all my angry feelings towards people who have hurt me in the past.I also have to learn to let go of the past and move on into the future.While I am going through all of this,I am still needing of prayerful support from all of you who follow my blog and read my posts.I also ask that you leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging comment or two.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.The more that I can get,the better that I will be.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,though still a little rough.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda.
I had to pick up a few newspapers and drop them off at a few people's houses that I knew and after that was done,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for those things,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a sweatsuit and I relaxed for a while and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward and yes,the road is a little rough,I am still on my daily battle and struggle with BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never how I will be emotionally or mood wise from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment.While having BPD is bad enough,I also have to struggle with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that really makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too difficult and/or way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone and that it is also wonderful that they are there to help me whenever I need them for help.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning by masturbating and yes,sexual images of men crept up into my mind,which was the root cause of this fall.After the fall,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and I did feel better as I truly believed that I am forgiven for that fall.Throughout the day,I kept up in prayer to God as the temptations kept coming at me.They were attacking me at all sides and I had to really pray hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I didn't want to fall again.I kept it up and asked God for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I felt better as the temptations were reduced to nil.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to continue praying for me as I am going through this complex emotional time.Please also leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as well.It is just that my blog does get visitors,but rarely leave an encouraging comment or two for me.Please don't be shy.If you have something to say that can/could benefit me,please leave it in the comments section.Again,please don't be shy.Please also continue in prayer for me as both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA and also,I probably wouldn't fall as much if you did leave an encouraging word or two for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do for me.
Tomorrow,there will be a special dinner at my church and I am going to attend that,which is the only thing that I have planned.As for much of the day beforehand,I have nothing else planned,but I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,though it has been pretty rough here and there.I had a pretty good day today,
Today,I showered after waking up in the mid morning and after breakfast and coffee,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda.I first went to my sister's house to pick up my laundry and after bagging it,I headed for home to drop it off and headed to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up another thing that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,the road has been pretty rough.The constant daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride can be a chore.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,although it also varies by the minute/moment in the same day at times.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with hearing things,such as footsteps,voices calling my name,including various other noises and there is usually nobody around when I look to see who it might be.It can get pretty monotonous at times and also,I at times wish that I didn't have to go through or struggle with any of these things.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply continue talking about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better as they are there leading the way and letting me know,in their own way,I have nothing to worry about.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came again in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection and this time,the temptation was more overwhelming than yesterday.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.At the same time,I sensed that I had to use the bathroom.I got out of bed and I headed for there and as I walked to the bathroom,the erection started to soften and when I was finished in the bathroom,the erection had fully softened and I felt better.I simply went back to bed and back to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I was once again tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and I had to really fight to resist them all.Each and every time that I don't give into any temptation,the temptations get stronger and more overwhelming and I really have to continuously fight to resist them all.It gets even more difficult each time.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all through the day and I asked God for strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me.I prayed and prayed real hard and each time that I prayed,I felt better and stronger as the temptations were reduced to nil each time.It also showed me that God and Christ were there each time and they heard me.They gave me the strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations.While I am going to continue keeping up in prayer,I am also again asking that y'all who follow my blog and read my posts to also continue in prayer for me and also to leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.My blog does get visitors,but they usually don't leave a comment or two for me as a means of helping me keep going in this fight against this terrible SSA.Don't be shy.If you visit my blog,don't be afraid to leave an encouraging word or two for me.I will approve the comments if they are positive and encouraging to me when it comes to fighting SSA and resisting all of the terrible temptations associated with it.It can be an upbuilding comment with a scripture of two or simply something to encourage me to continue in this fight unabated.Also,please continue in prayer for me as well.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out out of my suit and into some casual clothes.I did my personal PC work and I also had a light lunch before finally getting around to doing what I had to do.
I packed all of my laundry in a bag so I could do all of my laundry at my sister's house.Before heading there,I stopped at a local bargain outlet store to pick up a few things.After that,I headed straight for my sister's house to get my laundry done,which took about an hour to do.After it was finished washing,I put all of the clean,but wet,clothes in the dryer and headed back home.Before that,I headed over to the drug store to pick up a couple of prescriptions.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a sweatsuit and relaxed for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church on Sunday morning's always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still having to deal and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.Today,my emotions are pretty positive at the moment,but that can change as the day progresses,though I hope that it doesn't.It can also change the next day,though,again,I hope that it doesn't.I simply can't anticipate how my moods and/or emotions will be.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I usually feel a tad better after praying about this particular struggle.It also shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for being there and for everything that they do in helping me get through this particular struggle.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.This was another overwhelming urge and I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation as it was a really strong one.I sat up for a while and kept up fighting the urge as this urge was really strong.It took a few minutes,but the erection did slowly soften.I went back to sleep after my genitals were fully soft.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted to act out by many means throughout the day and I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ as they came at me from all sides.The temptations vary by the day and/or by the minute.I get tempted to fantasize and lust after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,though ejaculation does happen at times when I do that.At times,I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I willfully choose to stay home when that particular temptation comes around,as acting out in that way will never give me what I want and need.That will only give me a temporary fix,but when it's over,the same old negative vibes come back and I am back where I was before.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I kept asking for strength to fight and resist all of those temptations that came at me and I felt much better after praying as I knew that God and Christ both heard me and were there to give me that strength.While I am still keeping up in prayer,I am also asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts to keep up in prayer for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section. It is because both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Again,please continue in prayer for me and also,leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,since it is a holiday,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things on my agenda today.I first went to a local supermarket to turn in some bottles and cans that were in my car's trunk.After doing that,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up a few things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did some work in my vinyl room and after that work was done,I relaxed and took it easy.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is never easy and it does get difficult day after day or minute/moment as my emotions vary at different times.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I always feel a tad better after talking about this particular struggle with them as it shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened out of a deep sleep by yet another throbbing erection and lustful thoughts were also creeping up into my mind.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this particular temptation.I sat up for a while,but the erection continued to throb.I had to pray to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist this temptation as it was a very difficult temptation that I was dealing with.I kept praying until the erection softened and the sexual images of men and their accompanying lustful thoughts.After they did disappear,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting after men and and also,to fantasize with sexual images of other men.I also was tempted to manipulate my genitals at the same time to all of those things.I kept up in prayer to God and asked him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I kept it up every time until the temptation disappeared and the sexual images faded away.I felt better after that and I kept moving on after each prayer.It shows that God and Christ are there leading the way and that makes me feel better that I can talk to them anytime about these things.I am also again asking for prayers by all of you who are following my blog and reading the posts.I also ask that you leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It can be an upbuilding scripture from the Holy Bible to saying something like "You can beat this.Keep up the fight."Of course, you can say something like that in your own way.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have church as usual and I am also planning to go to my sister's house to do my laundry as it is an awful lot that needs to be done.I am just going to take it easy for the rest of the day.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I really didn't do too much today.I simply went out only once today to pick up a few things at a local Dollar Tree store and after paying for those things,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be as I go from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment.At times,it can get so difficult that it can at times drive me crazy.It having BPD isn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle.I can simply talk to God and his son Christ Jesus about it and they help keep me looking clam and make me feel a tad better in the long run.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I sat up for a while and wouldn't lay down to go back to sleep again until the erection had softened and when it did,that is was what I did.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to fantasize and lust after other men while manipulating my genitals to all of it.I immediately stopped and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I did feel better afterwards.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all day as these terrible temptations came around and I kept asking God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me the strength to fight and resist all of these temptations.I kept it up and after I prayed each time,I felt better and much stronger.It showed that God and Christ both heard me and that really reassures me each time.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to continue praying for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging comments both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Please continue to pray for me and don't be shy by leaving and encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a lot planned for today.
I first went to my spirituality group today and that group meeting went wonderfully well.After it was over,I headed for a local kitchen to have lunch and after eating that,I headed over to the local Public Works department to drop off some old and broken down electronics equipment for them to have recycled.After that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw a little bit of money and after that,I headed for a gas station to get some gas and after that,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and watched a few movies on DVD for the rest of the day and I also had dinner while watching one of them.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I go through this day after day and at times,it can get pretty tiresome and boring.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to engage in the unclean habit of masturbation when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for a while and didn't lay back down until the erection softened.I laid down and went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted a little bit to indulge in fantasies and lusting that are connected with this terrible SSA,but I prayed to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations and I did feel better after praying.Since I was busy for much of the day getting some much needed stuff done,I wasn't really preoccupied with anything of that nature,but I must keep in mind that tomorrow is another day and the temptations can at times come back with a vengeance when least expected.I am again asking that all of you who follow and read my blog to keep on praying for me as I am going through all of this.I also ask that you please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section also.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first met with my case worker here at the house.The meeting was for 20 minutes and it went well.After the meeting,I headed out to a local store to pick up something that I needed for myself and after paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while and I had an early dinner as I had plans to attend church tonight as it is Ash Wednesday,the start of the season of Lent.I got dressed up in nice dress clothes and headed for the church.
The Ash Wednesday service was a wonderful service and we also had Holy Communion as well.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did some cleaning up here and there and I put some stuff into my car's rear seat to drop off at the local Public Works place.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading as well before turning in for the night.Overall,a very good and eventful day,as for me,attending church always makes the day eventful.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.At times,this particular struggle can get pretty tiresome and I also wish that I didn't have to go through it,although I know that I have to go through it day after day.The emotional roller coaster ride can really feel draining at times as I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.It struggling with BPD wasn't bad enough,I also suffer from the schizophrenic tendencies that I have.Aside from the BPD emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to struggle with hearing things that only I can hear and that nobody else hears,such as footsteps,voices calling my name and whenever I look,there is nothing nor nobody to be found.At times,this struggle can also make me feel drained and even make me feel confused.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle with God and Christ Jesus leading the way.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection and lustful thoughts alongside with that temptation.I got up and started to walk and the erection softened while I was doing that and when it was fully soft,I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out in other ways,such as fantasies,lusting and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,though at times,ejaculation does occur or I proceed to masturbate when orgasm happens.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these terrible SSA related temptations came at me.I prayed and I prayed real hard and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to fight and resist these urges and to also show that I am serious about healing from these terrible unnatural sexual desires that I have and from this terrible SSA,as I didn't want to sin nor displease God in any way,shape or form.I felt better after praying for that strength and I felt stronger.As the temptations came,I prayed and I prayed hard and I felt better after that.I am also asking again for prayers by all of you who follow my blog and read the posts.I also ask that y'all leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome SSA.It is just that my blog gets visitors,but they don't leave an encouraging comment or two for me.Please don't be shy.Please leave me an encouraging word or two and also,keep up in prayer for me.Thanks in advance to all of for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday spirituality group,lunch at a local kitchen afterwards and dropping off some stuff at the local Public Works office.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed over to a gas station to get a little bit of gas and after that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day and I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions can be up and good one day or one minute/moment or down the next day or minute/moment.It's bad enough that I have to go through this,but I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.With this,I also have to put up with hearing things that nobody else can hear,such as footsteps,voices calling my name and others sorts of things.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks in advance to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I tosses and turned for a while,but it wouldn't soften.I got up to walk and as I did,the erection softened and when it was fully soft,I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I was tempted to indulge in fantasies and lusting that are connected with SSA and also to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,though at times ejaculation does occur and also at times,I finish with masturbating.I kept up in prayer to God all through the day and I prayed to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and I felt better as the temptation was reduced to nil and I could go on with the rest of the day,but the urges did come back and at times,they came back with a vengeance and I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I didn't want to sin nor displease God in any way,shape or form.I kept it up as I didn't want to act out on these unnatural desires that I have as acting out on them will never give me what I want.I am asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to keep up in prayer for me and also to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Please do both of these things for me as I am so much in desperate need for these things.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have a meeting with my case worker and I am also planning to attend the evening's church service as Ash Wednesday is tomorrow.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
Since the weather has improved and it is a little warmer,I headed out to a local auto outlet to get the tire for my passenger side rear wheel replaced.This took only a few minutes and after paying for the work,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things that were needed and after paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed for a while and watched TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to do some recommended Holy Bible as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It is bad enough that I struggle with the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,but I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of Schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this struggle and that is great as I can openly talk about this particular struggle with God in his son Christ Jesus name and not be ashamed of doing so.Thanks in advance to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again awakened out of a deep sleep in the wee early morning hours by yet another throbbing erection and my urge to masturbate it away was really strong.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge to masturbate and also,as a result of my still being tired and sleepy,sexual images of men were starting to cloud my mind.I simply got up out of bed and started to walk towards the bathroom.As I walked to the bathroom,the erection softened and the sexual images of men clouding my mind also started to disappear.After using the bathroom,which was when the erection that I had softened,I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting with sexual images of men clouding my mind and yes,I had the urge to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping and/or to proceed to masturbating once orgasm has been reached.The lustful and sexual images of other men were what was causing that urge and I really had to pray to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ really hard to ask for strength to fight and resist these urges and also to have these sexual images of men cleared out of it as I didn't want to sin/fall short and displease God by doing so.With what I know now about Homosexuality/SSA,Satan,the Devil is using everything in his power to get me to against God's perfect law and indulge in all the sinful sexual activity that the so called "Gay" lifestyle offers,but I willfully refuse to let Satan have his way with me.I turn over all of these temptations to God and ask him in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me strength to fight and resit all of these urges and I prayed real hard as well.After praying all of those times,I really felt better and much stronger as I knew that God heard me and helped me.I am now going to work on making that a habit whenever these urges come around to try and get me to indulge in everything that the unnatural desires that I have that are connected to SSA come at me.I am also asking again that all of you who follow and read my blog posts to continue in prayer for me as I am going through all of this and again,to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit quickly as I awaited my ride to church with one of the men that I worship with.We also had a pleasant talk while going there and it was great.The minute that we arrived at church,we both attended the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.We are starting to prepare for the Lenten season and I hope that it's a wonderful season at that.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,my ride giver and I left and he dropped me off at home.We also had another pleasant conversation on the way as well.
After I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit and I relaxed.I called my ex brother in-law to come over and look at the stove to see what could be wrong with the oven and he couldn't fix it,but he tried.After he left,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and took it easy for the rest of the day.I simply listened to some of my music and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.For me,going to church every Sunday makes the day eventful and it never changes for me as it always stays the same.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward,I am still on my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be like at all.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I have nothing to worry about with God and his son Christ Jesus leading the way and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do to help me and also,for what they provide as they provide powers and means way beyond what any human therapy can provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate twice in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by throbbing erections at two separate intervals in the wee early morning hours.With the first one,I sat up in bed and started to get out of bed and that softened the erection as I was getting up.With the second one,it didn't last very long as I had to get up anyway and as I headed from my room into another room,the erection softened and I also had to use the bathroom as I continued to walk elsewhere in the house.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies with and lusting after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping alongside the fantasies and lusting,which is when I usually fall when they come around.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I asked for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations and I prayed really hard because I didn't want to sin nor displease God in any way,shape or form.After praying each time,I felt better as the temptations were reduced to nil.I knew that God and his son Christ Jesus were there to help me and they did give me the strength as I felt much stronger whenever I finished praying.It was wonderful to know that God and Christ Jesus are there to help out and lead the way for me.While I am keeping up in prayer myself,I am also asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my blog posts to continue praying for me as I am going through this complex emotional time.Though it has been nearly six months since my mother passed way,I am still feeling the effects of her death and her absence because I lived with my mother from the day we moved into the house,which I am still living in and grew up in,until the day that she passed away in the house.I am still feeling the absence of hers and I do miss having her around.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please share an encouraging word or two in the comments section,as both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome SSA and the unnatural sexual desires that are connected with it.It is just that my blog gets many visitors,but they usually don't leave any comments.If you visit,please don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It would really make my day to read something encouraging that somebody left for me as a comment.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do or provide.
Tomorrow,if the weather pattern hold up and we get what is planned to come,which is warmer weather and some rain to help melt the snowy mess that we have currently,I am hoping to go to a local auto place to get my tire replaced and also,to withdraw some money to help pay some bills that need to be paid.As for the rest of the day,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day,although I couldn't really do too much as a result of the big snow storm that we had yesterday.
Since I couldn't go anywhere as a result of my car being out of commission as a result of me having a compact spare on the rear passenger side,I simply went out to do some snow shoveling and it took me quite a while to get the shoveling done.After that was done,I went back into the house to watch a little TV and relax for a while.
I also had to make a phone call with someone that I worship with in church to give me a ride to church tomorrow.He said that he will pick me up tomorrow.I am glad that I now have a ride to go to church tomorrow.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty fair day.I did manage to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is never easy dealing and struggling with this type of psychiatric disability and the ups and downs of this ride can be very tiresome.While having emotional ups and downs are bad enough,I also have to deal with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is great that God and his son Christ Jesus help out and give power beyond what any human therapy can give.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I tossed to the opposite side that was laying down in bed and though it took a while,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted as usual to act out by fantasies,lusting and to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,though at times,a climax does happen when I do that.I kept up in prayer to God all day as these terrible temptations came at me from all sides and I asked God in the name of Christ Jesus for strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations and I always felt better after praying.I am simply trying to draw closer to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ because I really want to heal from these unwanted temptations and also,from these unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.I kept it up and I felt better every time.It shows me that God and his son Christ Jesus are there to help me whenever I need it and that they are there for me despite what many cynics and non-believers say.It also strengthens my faith and helps keep me going in this fight.While that is great,I am still asking that all of you who regularly follow my blog and read the posts to continue praying for me as I am going through all of this complex emotional stuff.I also ask that you please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging comments both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to continue on my healing journey from SSA.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,now that I have my ride to church,I am planning on attending church and also,the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,as a result of the car problem,I just might stay home and take it easy.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I was actually hoping to get myself a replacement tire for my car's passenger side rear wheel,but today,the weather was snowy and COLD!I simply kept my travels close to home and drove much more carefully as a result of the roads really being covered with snow and you never know if there is a patch of ice underneath the snow covered roads.I simply went to a few local stores to pick up things that I needed and after I was done at those stores,I went straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I went back outside to shovel the sidewalk for the mail carrier and also leading up to the back porch.I also shoveled the back porch and after I was done shoveling,I went back inside the house and stayed home for the rest of the day.
I simply relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty fair day as I couldn't do everything that I wanted to get done accomplished as a result of the snow storm.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.If having to struggle with BPD isn't bad enough,I also have to struggle with the schizophrenic tendencies that I also have,as that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more of God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever I need to talk about it and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone here in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again visited by temptation to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for a while and didn't go back to sleep until the erection softened.It took a while,but the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after getting up.I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or near the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,there was lusting involved.I stopped myself before it went too far and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for the fall and after praying,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I kept up in prayer all day as the temptation to act out by fantasies,lusting and masturbating to those types of things were really coming at me.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges as they kept coming at me from all sides.After that fall this morning,I didn't want to fall again.I kept up praying all through the day and I never ceased praying.I always felt better after praying as I truly believed that God and Christ were there to help me when I asked them for help.I am always tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with SSA and they can get ugly and very overwhelming.The urges can be very strong at times.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that type of temptation comes around,I simply and willfully choose to stay home as I know what my needs are in that regard and those needs,which are emotional in nature,are not sexual and acting out sexually is never going to give me what I truly want and,most importantly,need.I also have to continue keeping in mind that we men are biologically hard-wired to be compatible with a female and that we men's bodies are not to be used for the sinful purpose of indulging in any sinful sexual activity,including,but not limited to,the sinful sexual activity between two members of the same gender.God,when he created us humans,never intended for two members of the same gender to indulge in any type of sexual activity with each other and as the Holy Bible says in it's own words,that this type of thing is forbidden by God.I have to continually keep these things in mind.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to continue praying for me as I am going through all of these things.Please continue to keep up in prayer for me and also,don't be shy by just visiting my blog,but leave an encouraging comment or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging comments help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.I am not saying that my neediness of having my emotional needs met are terrible.I am saying that the unnatural desires that I have that are connected with SSA are terrible.It is just that my blog does get visitors,but nobody ever leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Please share an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section and also,please continue to keep up in prayer for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a really up and down day today.
Today,I woke in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did most of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
My day started out very good,but went downhill later on.I first went to my usual spirituality group and that went well.I was hoping to leave and head for a local kitchen to have lunch,but that is when the day went downhill.My tire on the rear passenger side went flat and I had to seek another way home.I called my sister and she advised me to call my eldest nephew,but he wouldn't answer after I tried calling him six times.I tried my brother in-law,who called me back on my cell phone and he said that he had to head for work within an hour of talking with me.My other nephew was already working and my sister was at a local beauty salon and wouldn't be done for a while.I went to a nearby 7-Eleven to buy something to eat for lunch while waiting at the group site for anyone to help me.Fortunately,my niece called me and picked me up to take me home.I was grateful that she did that.
On the way home,I stopped at a friend's place of business to drop off some money that I owed him and I also picked up the turntable that I want to use with my stereo system at the same time.My niece dropped me off at home after that and I awaited a phone call from my niece's boyfriend as he was the only one who could help me.The only thing that I needed was to put the spare wheel on the car and to simply drive it home,which happened and I am glad to have the car home.
As a result of all that happened today,I had to fix a light dinner to eat as I really didn't have enough time to cook anything.I simply heated up a can of soup that I bought on the way home and had that for dinner.Overall,a really up and down day.I still managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.It is a very complicated thing that I am dealing with as far as having a psychiatric disability goes.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult and complicated.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more of God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle,which is really difficult in itself as it is,and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation this morning by masturbating and there was lusting involved in it as well.I really don't know why I have fallen for the second time this week.The only good thing is that the falls weren't consecutive as my last fall was on Tuesday.When this happened,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling and begged him for mercy as I prayed to God and his son Christ Jesus for forgiveness.I did feel better as a result of that as I believed that I am truly forgiven for my sins.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and asked him for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations that were coming at me from all sides.I didn't want to fall short again today and I kept it up all day in prayer.I am still a work in progress as far as trying to stay strong to continue fighting and resisting and asking God for that strength to continue fighting and resisting all of these terrible temptations.I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog regularly and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Please leave something encouraging in the comments section as both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this struggle against SSA and make me even more determined to continue my journey in overcoming this terrible SSA.I will also keep up in prayers myself and again,I ask that all of you who follow and read my blog to continue in prayer for me and leave something encouraging for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some much needed money.After that,I headed over to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.At times,this emotional roller coaster ride can be pretty stressful and tiresome.The ups and downs of this ride can be very hard to deal with and at times,I feel rather tired of going through it.One day or minute/moment,I can be up and feeling good,bout the next day or minute/moment,I can be down and feeling not so good.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ when I feel that this struggle is getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is terrific.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me again when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,but it didn't last long.I turned the opposite way that I was laying down in bed and the erection softened after a while and I went right back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted to act out by fantasizing,lusting after other men and to also manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all day as these terrible temptations came at me.It is difficult struggling with SSA,but the temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with SSA makes the struggle even more difficult.I kept up praying and asking God for strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations and I always felt better after doing so.I always believe and have faith that God is there to help and he will do it in the name of his son Jesus Christ and that he does give strength to those who ask for it.I kept it up all day as I do get tempted to act out throughout the day every day.I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who follow my blog and reads the posts.I am asking that you all continue in prayer for me.I also ask that you leave a word of encouragement for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Please continue in prayer for me and please don't be shy when visiting,but leave an encouraging comment or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,lunch at a local kitchen and I am planning on visiting a friend to see how he is doing.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ