Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward,though today was a little more bumpy.I had a pretty good day today,despite some setbacks.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and was hoping to get around to doing my personal PC work,but that is when the setbacks started.I was without internet for much of the morning as a result of some money that I owed the phone company,who also provides my internet service.I was without it for much of the morning and was actually thinking of going to the public library to do my work,but my locally living sister came to the rescue and she let me use her card for a one time only payment.Though I had some hassles in applying the payment,I managed to get it done and ten minutes later after applying payment,my internet service was restored and I did my personal PC work as I planned and after that,I proceeded with the rest of the day.
Though today is supposedly the First Day of Spring,it don't look like it.It snowed overnight and the weather is COLD!It was only a light dusting,but it was still COLD! and FREEZING!As a result of this,I stayed home for much of the day to relax and watch a DVD or two.I still had plans for today and I didn't let the weather stop me from fulfilling them.The main plan was the last dinner at my church's fellowship hall and I was looking forward to that.I simply relaxed for a while and eagerly awaited the time to come to leave and go there.
The dinner was wonderful and I enjoyed the fellowship with my fellow worshipers.After the dinner was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did some personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day,despite some setbacks.
While my rocky road to recovery continues onward,despite the road being a little more bumpy,I am still in my daily battle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that make my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to God and talk about to him in the name of his son Christ Jesus when I am feeling a little more overwhelmed than usual and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that they are there to help me and that is wonderful,plus it also makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I sat up for a while and the erection started to soften and when it was fully softened,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after getting up out of bed by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,and yes,sexual images of men clouded my mind and lusting and fantasizing followed.Fortunately,I stopped myself and immediately asked God to forgive me for falling into sin by doing all of these things and I felt much better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and I moved on with the rest of the day.I was tempted to act out by lusting and fantasizing throughout the day and yes,the temptation to manipulate my genitals to those sexual and lustful images of men was also there.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these temptations came at me.I asked God in the name of his son Christ Jesus for strength to fight and resist these urges.I am learning by the day that the more I resist any temptations,the more stronger that they become.I have to always keep asking God in the name of Christ Jesus Christ to give me the strength day after day so I don't fall into sin.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I simply and willfully choose to stay home whenever that particular temptation comes around.I have to constantly keep in mind that acting out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have will never give me what I want and also,so desperately need,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that gender identity affirmation,as acting out will only reinforce the Homosexual/Gay identity,which is the identity that I am trying to disown and stay far away from.Though I have been keeping up in prayer,I am also asking that all of you who follow my blog that you please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through all of this and also,please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please don't be shy when visiting and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I ask these things because both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue my journey in overcoming SSA and to heal from the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA,so I can be the man that God wants me to be and intended for me to be.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have too much to do today.I delivered free newspapers to a few residents that I deliver to each week.When that was done,I paid a visit to a friend of mine to see how they were doing and after visiting with them for a few minutes,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day today.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.It can get pretty tiresome and monotonous at times.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle with God and ask him to get me through this in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate once again came at me in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and,though it was slow going,the erection started to soften.I stood up and proceeded to walk a little and the erection fully softened as I did this and after that,I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in sinful sexual activity by ways of lusting and fantasies,as well as to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping to these sexual images of men that were clouding my mind,which was motivating the temptation to lust and fantasize.I simply decided to take these temptations to God in prayer and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations as they were coming at me from all sides.Each and every time that I resist any temptation,and ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through it and to also give me strength to fight and resist them,the temptations keep coming back stronger each time.This tells me that Satan and his minions will never give up trying to get me to indulge in sinful sexual activity with other men or to lust after other men and fantasize about indulging in all of that.I also get tempted to watch porn online and I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that particular temptation comes around,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than give into that particular temptation.I know that acting out on these unnatural desires that I have will never give me what I want and need,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that gender identity affirmation.I also know that acting out in any way,shape or form will only reinforce the Homosexual/Gay identity,which is the identity that I am trying to escape from and disown as I don't want to be Homosexual.I simply want to be the man that God intended and wants me to be.I only accept that I am a male and a man.Aside from accepting that I am a human being,I accept nothing else other than that.I refuse to let a label,such as "Homosexual/Gay" define who I am nor will I let the unnatural desires that I have define me nor will I let them dictate to me how I will act nor react.I am simply a man/male and that is all that I am.Admittedly,it is never easy too accept one's true identity,but once it is done,that person is in Phase One in their healing from SSA and the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with it.While I have been keeping up in prayer to both God and his son Jesus Christ,I am also asking that everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts that I leave here to also please continue in prayer for me.I also ask that you please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors,but rarely leave anything in the comments section.Please don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I ask this because both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and struggle.They also make me even more determined to continue in my journey of overcoming this terrible SSA,but also to continue in my healing from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,the only thing on my agenda is the last Wednesday night dinner in my church's fellowship hall.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.I also proceeded with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have too much to do today.It was basically a quite day.The only thing that I did was that I went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a gallon of milk and after paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the milk in the fridge and I sat down for a while and I took it easy.I also popped a DVD into the DVD player while doing so.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with BPD,it's symptoms and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be as I go through the day as at times,my moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the minute/moment,but usually it's a day to day thing.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continue to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply put this in God's hands and ask him for help in his son Christ Jesus' name and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone here and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,though it didn't last very long.I sat up for a while and proceeded to get out of bed,which made the erection slowly start to soften.Though it was slow going,my genitals returned to their fully soft state and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation when sexual images of men clouded my mind.These sexual images of men came through my mind when I had gotten up and sat down as I was still in a tired and drowsy state.I actually started manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping to these images and that motivated me to lust and fantasize with these images,but I managed to stop myself before ejaculation could occur.I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I felt better after that as I truly believed that I was forgiven.Throughout the day,I was tempted many times to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and the urge to act out by lusting and fantasies can get very overwhelming.I kept up in prayer to God all through the day as these temptations started coming.I kept asking for God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges and after praying each time,I felt better and much stronger.Day after day,I am learning that the SSA struggle is a very difficult one indeed.The point is that I have to continue drawing closer to God and keep praying to him in his son Christ Jesus' name to get me through these terrible temptations and to keep giving me the strength to fight and resist these urges as they get stronger with each resistance.I am also again asking that those who follow my blog to continue praying for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I ask these things because both your prayers and your encouragement help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA and continue in healing journey from the unnatural sexual desires that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to my followers for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I decide to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward and onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit real quickly and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.I was also looking forward to that as I was going to do another reading from the Holy Bible in front of the congregation up on the podium.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After the service was over,I received even more positive accolades from my reading.One worshiper said that I brought it to life when I was reading and another said that I had read from my heart and put everything that I had into it.Others said that they also enjoyed my reading,including the pastor.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into casual clothes.After I had a light lunch,I called my brother in law to come over and fix the toilet,because the handle disconnected from the flushing mechanism and after he left when he fixed it,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I decided to take a drive around and see how a few people that I knew were doing.After doing that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.For me,going to church in the morning on Sunday makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward and onward,I am still,on a one day at time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary from days or minute/moment within the same day.Aside from BPD,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ about this particular struggle and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this struggle and that makes me feel a tad better knowing that God and Christ Jesus are leading the way.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I tossed and turned,but it only made the erection throb more violently.I sat up and for a while,it continued to throb,but I chose to get up and walk and while I did,the erection started to slowly soften and after using the bathroom,I went back to sleep as my genitals were now fully and completely softened.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted to act out by fantasies and lusting throughout the day.I also was tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting the near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,which the fantasies and lusting make me do when they come around.I kept up in prayer constantly throughout the day and kept asking for God in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations.Each and every time that I fight and resist each temptation,they keep coming back stronger than the last time.The thing is that while I do have these unnatural sexual desires that are connected with SSA,I willfully refuse to let them define who I am nor let them dictate to me how I will be or act.I keep praying and praying and I always feel stronger after doing so.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that those of you who follow my blog to continue praying for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It is because your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my healing journey from the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did 4/5 of my personal PC work.When that was done,I headed for the bank to withdraw some much needed money and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the money away and I finished my personal PC work.After that was done,since I had no place to go and nothing to do,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also popped a DVD in the DVD player and I watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is always difficult and it never seems to get any better.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable and/or overwhelming for me to handle.Whenever it seems to be getting that way as I just mentioned,I take this particular struggle to God and ask him to help get me through all of the ups and downs and hallucinatory effects of what I have psychiatric disability wise and both God and Christ Jesus help in sustaining me.With them helping me and leading the way,I have nothing to worry about and I do feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the nasty temptation to masturbate came at me again during the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I tossed and turned,but the erection continued to throb more.I had to sit up and attempt to get up and that is when the erection,though slowly,started to soften.I also walked a little and when I started doing that,I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,which I did and after I was finished,the erection had fully died down and I went back to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after getting up out of bed in the mid morning and I was still feeling tired and drowsy,so my mind drifted off and sexual images of men started to cloud my mind and I started to lust and then,started manipulating my genitals to these lustful images and was at the point or orgasm,but managed to stop myself and I really felt miserable after doing this.I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for that sin.I prayed really hard and I felt better knowing that I was truly forgiven and God had forgotten my sin.This still brings to mind one thing:Satan and his minions are using everything that they can on me to make me forsake my healing of these terrible unnatural sexual desires that I have and deliberately live in sexual sin.I am continuously willfully refusing to do that,but I also know that Satan and his minions will never give up.They are going to keep at this until I decided to give up and run right back to that sinful sexual lifestyle known as the so called "Gay" lifestyle.I am always at war with these unnatural desires that I have and at times,they can try to really drain out energy.But again,I am willfully refusing to act out on these unnatural desires that I have by simply going out to find men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them.Though I am making that choice,I am learning constantly that the choice does have it's difficulties.The thing is even when I am not going out and seeking other men for the purpose of indulging in sexual sin with them,Satan tries to use other means to get me to act out by using sexual images of men to cloud my mind to get me to lust after them and also,to fantasize with them,and to manipulate my genitals with these images.I am always in a fight with these things and it always gets even more difficult.I have to keep telling myself never to give Satan and his minions what they want,though it also means that they will stay keep up with their ways of tempting me to act out no matter how much I work to try and resist them.I also kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ throughout the day and I never ceased.Every time I did that,I always felt better and much stronger as I asked God in Christ Jesus' name to give me the strength to fight and resist these terrible satanically influenced temptations.Though I have been keeping up in prayer myself,I am still asking that everyone who follows and reads my blog to continue praying for me and also,to please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I ask these things because both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and also,they make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and the unnatural sexual desires that are connected with SSA.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you followers for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,with the exception of church in the morning,including the morning's Holy Bible study class,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed up to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had an orientation with an organization to set me up with a local job placement program so I can start finding work real soon.I am getting tired of just sitting down on my duff and doing little if nothing.I headed over there with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The orientation went great.After it was over,they informed that I should hear from them with 4-6 weeks or sooner.After that,I headed over to a local kitchen to have some lunch and after lunch,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and into some casual clothes and finished the rest of my personal PC work.When that was done,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle with the symptoms and continuous emotional roller coaster ride of BPD.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or by the minute/moment within the same day.I never know how my moods and/or emotional patterns will be like.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPS struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was hit with a triple whammy during three separate intervals in wee early morning hours.I was awakened by throbbing erections during those three separate intervals and they were very overwhelming.I tossed and I turned on each occasion,but the erections continued to throb.I had to sit up for a while on all three occasions and I lost some sleep as a result.Fortunately,they all softened while I was sitting up on each occasion and I went back to sleep after them all.Though I escaped this triple whammy,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies,lusting and to manipulate my genitals while doing so.I kept asking God in prayer in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resit all of these terrible temptations.I want to do the right thing,but my sinful nature wants me to do the opposite.I kept up in prayer all day and I didn't cease.After each prayer,I felt better and much stronger as I knew that God and Christ both heard me and they helped me.Though I am still doing,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to please continue praying for me and also,don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA and to continue in my healing journey form the unnatural sexual desires connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed,did my personal PC work and proceeded with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda today.I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,which went well and after that,I had lunch at a local kitchen.After lunch,I headed to a gas station to get some gas and after that was done,I headed for the public library to print something and after that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a few things and after paying for them,I left and stopped in on a friend to see how he was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while and I took it easy.
After eating dinner,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.It can be pretty tiresome and monotonous at times.If having BPD isn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for a while and I didn't lay back down until the erection softened.When it did,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was again later tempted to indulge in fantasies,lusting and to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of attaining near/full erection and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,but instead of giving into that entire temptation pattern,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist all of these things.I prayed hard and I pleaded with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me the strength to fight and resist.After praying,I felt like a giant weight had been lifted off of my shoulders and after that,I showered to clean up and get ready for the day.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all day as these terrible temptations kept coming at me.I continuously prayed to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations that were coming at me.I kept it up all day as I didn't want to sin nor displease God in any way,shape or form.I am serious about wanting to heal from SSA and I don't want to continuously fall short as I had done in the last three weeks,where I fell two consecutive times one week,once the second week,and two consecutive times within a twelve hour period the third week.I really want to work hard at fighting hard to resist all of these terrible things and also,to get my mind cleared of all sexual and lustful images of men.I want to think positive thoughts of members of my own gender and also,to look at them in a Christian light,which is as brothers in a spiritual and Christian way and not for any of the selfish intentions and unnatural desires that I have for them.I also want to start thinking of them as the same as I am inside and out,as I am a male and a man and that m body is meant for compatibility with a female,but I also don't want to start thinking lustful thoughts of women either as lust,as a whole,is condemned in the Holy Bible as lust breeds obsession,infatuation and in itself,represents selfishness of the highest degree.Though I have been keeping up in prayer myself,I am also continuing to ask that everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts to continue praying for me as I am going through all of this.Please continue praying for me and also,please do leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging comments both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in the healing process from SSA and the unnatural desires connected with SSA.It is just that my blog gets many visitors,but comments are rare.Please don't be afraid to speak some encouraging words in the comments as I so desperately need some encouragement as well as prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,the only thing that I have planned is to meet with some job placement people to become a client and help me find work and also,lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward and onward,despite some setbacks.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I wok up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
Today,we had some snowfall that started overnight and lasted all morning.It was pretty light,but the weather was chilly.I simply stayed home and took it easy for a while.The area where I live will be getting some more light snowfall and there will be some chilly temps,so I decided to just stay home and take it easy for the day.
I simply used the day to catch up on some much needed work that I have been putting off.After that was done,I decided to wait until the time so I could go to a church dinner that was being held tonight.When the time came,I headed over there.
The church dinner was wonderful.The food and the fellowship were both wonderful.I got so much out of it.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got into my pajamas and relaxed for a while until I was ready for bed.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward and onward,despite some setbacks,I am still on my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.The emotional roller coaster ride of BPD can wear me out at times.It does as I never know how I will be mood-wise and/or emotional-wise.They vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle with my psychiatric disorder and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to indulge in masturbation,lusting and fantasies in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This was yet another overwhelming urge to indulge in these sinful and immoral practices.I tossed and turned,but that only made the erection throb even more violently.All of a sudden,I felt that I had to use the bathroom,so I got out of bed and walked towards the bathroom.As I headed for there,the erection started to soften,but it was pretty slow going.After I was finished in the bathroom,my genitals returned to their typical softened state,I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into yet another episode when after finally getting out of bed,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose getting near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.There was also lusting after other men and fantasies involved as well where I wound up talking to myself imagining that I was indulging in immoral and sinful sexual activity with other men.Before it went too far,I stopped myself and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning this morning and I really prayed hard.After I was finished,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven by God for my sins.Throughout the day,I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever the temptation to indulge in anything sinful connected with SSA and the unnatural desires that I have that are also connected with SSA.I kept up in prayer and I really prayed hard as I didn't want to sin nor displease God in any way,shape or form.I am learning day after day that the struggle with SSA is a very difficult one at that.It is easier to surrender to the unnatural desires than it is to fight and resist them.Satan and his minions are really working hard to get me to disobey God's perfect law in regards to sexuality,but I am always choosing too fight and make a stand,but Satan and his minions continue to make it tougher and even more difficult by the day.I do keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ constantly and I constantly ask for strength to fight and resist these temptations to indulge in fantasies,lusting and to manipulate my genitals alongside them.Again,it gets even more difficult by the day and at times,Satan and his minions will try to wear me out.But again, I have God and his son Christ Jesus intervene and I do feel better knowing that they are leading the way.Though I have been doing this,I am also continuing to ask that all of you who continue to follow my blog and read the posts to continue praying for me as I am going through all of these emotional issues.I also ask that you please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments that are encouraging are rare as they usually don't leave any.I only ask for these things because your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my healing journey from SSA and make me even determined to continue in overcoming SSA at the same time.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual spirituality group and also,lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
After having a light lunch,I headed out to drop off some newspapers at a few people's houses.After that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.Aside from that,I also have to endure the schizophrenic tendencies that I have,which makes my BPD struggle even worse.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that is great.I do feel a tad better knowing that they are helping me to keep level and get me through everything in the day in regards to this particular struggle with BPD/Schizophrenia.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This was also the hardest that I had ever been in a long time.I really had to use all of my own strength to fight and resist this particular temptation.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,so I got up out of bed and I headed there and as I did,the erection started to soften and after I was finished in the bathroom,the erection had fully died down and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I gave into a later temptation after finally getting up out of bed and while sitting in a chair,I started to manipulate my genitals to the point of getting near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,sexual and lustful images of men were clouding my mind as I was doing this.I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I did feel better knowing that I was forgiven and I moved on with the rest of the day.I kept up in prayer all day as the temptations to act out by fantasies and lusting came at me the entire day.I kept praying to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me by giving me the strength to fight and resist these temptations as they kept coming.The more I put up a resistance,the stronger that the temptations get as they keep coming.It seems that Satan and his minions are not going to give up until I decide to abandon the healing process from SSA,reject the truth about SSA that I already know that Satan and his minions hate that I know and simply go an indulge in all the sinful sexual activity known to man and that the Holy Bible condemns.I am willfully going to continue fighting and I am also going to keep going to God in prayer and asking him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to continue giving me strength to continue fighting and resisting these terrible temptations.I am also again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to also continue praying for me as I am going through all of this and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my healing journey to overcome this terrible SSA and the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected to SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and also provide.
Tomorrow,I have a dinner at my church's fellowship hall in the evening.As for most of the day,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.When that was finished,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have too much to do today.I simply decided to head to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my emotions and/or moods will be.They fluctuate by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.It can be pretty tiresome and pretty monotonous at times and it does make me wish that I didn't have to go through this particular struggle.It having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.With the schizophrenic tendencies,I also have to put up with hallucinations,such as hearing footsteps,hearing voices calling out my name and when I turn around,there is nothing nor anyone there.At times,I just want to shout out and say something like "Why are you doing this to me whoever you are?!" and/or "Why won't you just show yourself rather than hide from me?!"I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to seek God and his son Jesus Christ and also,to continue relying on them whenever the struggles seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ,I let the both of them take the lead and they both in keep me sustained.I am never alone in this particular struggle and with them leading the way and making sure that the hallucinations and the mood/emotional fluctuations don't get any worse,it makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I tossed and turned,but it only made the erection throb more.At the same time,since I was still in a drowsy state and still in bed,sexual images of men were creeping up into my mind.I simply decided to start sitting up and I sensed that I had to use the bathroom.I walked to the bathroom and the erection started to soften as I was walking there.After I was finished,my genitals were now fully soft and I went back to sleep and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after getting up while I was sitting in a chair and I started to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,and yes,sexual images of men did cloud my mind.The root cause of this,though I am not saying it justifies this,was that I was still tired and drowsy and hadn't fully awakened,though I had just gotten out of bed.I stopped myself and I immediately prayed to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for the fall and after I was finished,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting and also,to manipulate my genitals at the same time to all of that.I kept up in prayer to God all day and continually asked him in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me strength to fight and resist all of these temptations and I felt better and much stronger after praying.Those nasty temptations keep coming at me and I know that it is Satan and his minions that are responsible for them.Though I have been doing that all day,I am again continuing to ask that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts here to continue praying for me.I really need prayers and I am so desperately in need of other men supporting me in this fight and struggle against SSA.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please don't be shy by leaving an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome SSA.I would really appreciate prayers and encouraging words by all of you.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up immediately in a suit and I proceeded to head for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.I got a lot out of them.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes.I had a light lunch and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday morning every week always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be like from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.It having BPD isn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It makes me feel a little bit better knowing that they are there leading the way and showing that I am never alone in this particular struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I had to use the bathroom,so I got up and headed for the bathroom and as I headed there,the erection softened and when I was finished,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted a little bit to act out on these unnatural desires that I have by lusting,fantasizing and to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping alongside the lusting and fantasizing.Yes,it was to images of men clouding up my mind,but I didn't give into these temptations.I prayed hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I threw the temptations on God and asked him for strength to fight and resist these temptations in the name of his son Christ Jesus and I felt better after praying.I went through the day without much on my mind,but I also have to keep in mind that though I did escape today,tomorrow is another day.I can never thing of never giving into temptation again.I simply think in terms of one day at a time when it comes to fighting temptations of all sorts that Satan and his minions will try to throw at me.I have to keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and keep asking for strength to fight and resist all temptations that come at me.I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog posts and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome SSA and to continue in my healing journey out of it.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made much plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I got dressed,had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.Af ay.
I first went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick something that I forgot yesterday.After that,I headed over to a nearby Family Video store to check out the sale that they were having,though I didn't buy anything there.After that,I headed for a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple more things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be like from day to day or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment.I can be up and feeling good one day/minute/moment and/or down and not so good the next day/minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.It's bad enough having to deal and struggle with the BPD emotional roller coaster ride,but also to deal with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia is another thing all by itself,where I hear things and/or noises and/or voices that only I and nobody else can hear.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be betting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this struggle and that makes me feel only a tad better as I still have to put up with the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD and the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,though it didn't last long.I sat up in bed and proceeded to get out of it when the erection started to soften immediately.I stayed up for a while and when my genitals were fully soft,I got back into bed and went back to sleep.Though I escaped the episode,I did give into a later temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,and the root cause of this was that I was still tired,drowsy and sleepy while sitting in a chair and this time,it was mostly an emotional thing,though there were a few sexual images of men in my mind and they were a contributor,though it was still mostly emotional.I immediately stopped myself and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for doing that unclean and impure practice of touching myself inappropriately.After praying,I moved on with the rest of the day,though I was still tempted to indulge in fantasies and lusting throughout the day as I went along with the day.Whenever these terrible temptations came around,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations as they came at me and I always felt better after praying for that strength.I didn't want to fall again as I did two consecutive times within a 12 hour period between late Thursday night and early Friday morning.I know that I am not perfect and I will fall here and there at times,but I want to show both my Heavenly Father and his son Christ Jesus that I really mean it that I want to resist these temptations and that I also mean it that I want them as well as need them to help me in my healing and recovery from this terrible SSA condition.The SSA condition is a terrible thing as it tries to ruin all people's lives as there are unnatural sexual desires that are connected with SSA and again,they try to ruin the lives of people all over the world and Satan uses this terrible emotional condition to get all people to sin against God and his perfect law,which is in the Holy Bible,especially where sexuality is concerned.God,when he created the first human couple,Adam and Eve,never intended for sexuality to be used as well as abused by the rest of the unbelieving world and also,Satan tries to also get believers who do know the truth to continue sinning against God despite the fact that true Christian believers know the truth about SSA and that it can be healed with the right Christian association.I still get tempted often to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in same sex sexual activity with them,but as stated,I willfully choose to stay home rather than give into this particular temptation as acting out on these unnatural desires that I have will never ever give me the fulfillment that I truly want,but mostly need,which is the affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that gender identity affirmation,which I all that I truly want and also,truly need.I am still asking that all of you who follow my blog to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this terrible emotional time and also,to please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouraging words.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and well as provide.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual,including the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I first went to a local hair place to get my hair cut and after that was done,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things and after paying for those things,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply relaxed for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I also have to put up with hearing things,such as invisible footsteps and invisible voices calling out my name and then turning around to find that there is nobody there.It is a very difficult thing to deal with.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am not going to mince words here.I am going to be honest and very straight-forward.I gave into temptation twice.I gave into temptation late last night and again early this morning by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,but on both occasions,I actually masturbated until ejaculation once the point of orgasm was there after doing that unclean and impure thing to those lustful and sexual images of men.I really felt miserable as a result of these falls and it felt like there was a crushing weight on top of me as a result of these current failings.On both occasions,I prayed hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and I also begged for his mercy as I really felt crushed by these falls.I am an imperfect human being who is prone to sin and I felt that I sinned grievously against God and his son Jesus Christ.I felt,and always still feel so unworthy of him and his undeserved loving kindness and forgiveness.On both occasions,there was lusting involved as visions of nude men were clouding my mind and other lustful sexual images were taking over my mentality and motivated the falls.Again,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and I begged for God's mercy as I really felt terrible for falling two consecutive times within a 12 hour period.After I prayed,I felt much better as I truly believed and accepted that God has forgiven me for both time that I fell.For the rest of the day,I was tempted to continue in the sinful practice of lusting and fantasizing of other men and to manipulate my genitals to those images while they crept up into my mind.I had to ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help give me the strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations.They really try to bring me down and everything and that really makes me feel so unworthy.Again,I kept asking God in his son Christ Jesus' name to give me the strength to fight and resist all of those terrible temptations and moved on with the day after I finished praying.Aside from the temptations to indulge in lusting and the fantasizing,I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that temptation comes around,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than feed that particular temptation.I still need to continue learning to continue going to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever those other terrible temptations come around.I am so sick of finding men sexually attractive and I am really sick of these terrible temptations trying to get the better of me.I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts to continue in prayer for me as I am really in desperate need for prayers and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog does get visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare,though I do get them on occasion.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I haven't really made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I headed out to go to my usual spirituality group that is on Thursday's.
The group meeting went well.After it was over,I headed for a local kitchen to have lunch and after having eating that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local hardware store to pick up some electronics spray and after paying for that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things and after paying for them,I headed to stop in on a friend to see how he was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.I also did some cleaning up around the house.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.While having BPD and my emotions on this constant roller coaster ride can be tiresome and monotonous,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It's bad enough that the emotional roller coaster ride that I am going through can be tiresome and draining emotional roller coaster ride where my emotions very by the day,or sometimes,by the minute/moment,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.This is a double whammy that I have as far as my psychiatric disability goes and as stated,it can be draining and tiresome as hearing things that only I can hear and nobody else hears alongside the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD can be draining and make me feel exhausted in a psychological sense.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is a simply a matter of sharing this psychological struggle with God and asking him in the name of his son Christ Jesus to get through it all the rigamarole of having this particular type of psychiatric disability.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do to help out in this particular struggle as they give power beyond what any human therapy can give.Thanks to the both of them for being there for me.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again fighting the temptation to masturbate when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming temptation.I am also learning day after day that the more I resist any temptation,the stronger it gets with every resistance.I simply sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and as I did this,the erection,though it was slow going,started to soften.After I walked to the bathroom and back to bed,the erection had fully died down and I went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation while still in bed by manipulating my genitals to lustful images of men and yes,the temptation to fantasize was really strong.I stopped doing this and after getting out of bed,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into this unclean and impure activity and also for the lusting that was involved in this.I was still tired and sleepy and that is what made the images come into mind.I am not saying that it excuses or justifies it,but that it was the root cause of this.Throughout the rest of the day,I was tempted to manipulate my genitals to lustful and sexual images of men that were creeping up into my mind.I had to really pray hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to ask for strength to fight and resist these temptations as they were coming on strong and fierce.The more I put up a resistance,the more stronger each and every temptation becomes.I kept up in prayer to God the entire day and I always felt better and even much stronger whenever I did.I still get tempted to go out and seek other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that particular temptation comes around,I willfully choose to stay home rather than go out and feed that particular type of temptation.I am learning that the fight to resist all sorts of temptations connected with struggling with SSA is a very difficult fight indeed and at times,it can make one pretty exhausted.While I am keeping up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ,I am also asking that those of you who follow my blog and read my posts to also continue in praying for me as I am going through this difficult time where I am being tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have constantly.I also ask that you don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets quite a few visitors,but they rarely leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I keep asking for this because both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue on this healing journey out of this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouraging words.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I headed out to do the things that I started to plan.
I first went to a local supermarket to put some money on the phone bill.After that,I headed over to the post office to buy a money order to pay my car insurance for the month.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and eagerly awaited the time for me to go to a dinner at my church's fellowship hall.When the time came,I headed over there.
The dinner was wonderful and I had some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers.We also had another part of a video presentation about the Jewish Passover.After the whole thing was over with,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and read some recommended Holy Bible passages suggested by the daily devotions that I get in my e-mail every day.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle against the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I am always feeling the ups and downs of this particular thing that I have and at times,it can get tiresome and monotonous.It also,at times,makes me feel drained.Aside from that,the schizophrenic tendencies that I have make the BPD struggle for me even worse.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time,such as hearing noises like footsteps while I am walking or hearing a loud voice calling out my name and there is nobody to be found anywhere around when I look to see if anybody is there.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that is great.It also makes me feel a tad better as both God and Christ Jesus are leading the way and are in control.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.This was a really overwhelming temptation at that and I really had to use all of my own strength to fight and resist this temptation.I started to sit up and as I did,the erection started to soften and I proceeded to get out of bed to head for the bathroom and it kept getting softer.When I was finished in the bathroom,the erection had fully died down and I went right back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation while still in bed by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,and yes,there were sexual images of men clouding my mind when I gave into this temptation.I was trying to fully wake up as I was still feeling tired from the effects of my medication and oversleeping after the time that I wanted to get up,but slept through the alarm.When I finally did get up,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning and I did feel much better afterwards.I kept up in prayer all day as the temptation to act out kept coming at me.I get tempted to act out mostly by lusting after men via the images that cloud my mind at times and also,to fantasize with those images,which includes the subsequent genital manipulation to get them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,though ejaculation happens at times while I am doing this unclean and impure habit.I was tempted to do that throughout the day and I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and asked God in his son Christ Jesus' name to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations and after the prayer,I felt better and much stronger as the temptation was reduced to nil.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that particular temptation comes around,I willfully choose to stay home rather than feed it,as acting out on these unnatural desires that I have will never give me any true positive benefits,but will only make me yearn for more and more.It also will not fulfill the same sex emotional needs that I need to have fulfilled in an affirming and authentic way,which is by positive relationships with other men and also,relating,identifying and connecting with them in a healthy and authentic Christian way,which is all that I truly want and so desperately need.While I have been keeping up in prayer,I am also again that you keep up in prayer for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I ask these things because both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA and to continue in my journey to heal from the unnatural sexual desires connected with SSA.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual spirituality group and lunch later at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I proceeded to carry on with the rest of the day.
The first thing that I did was that I stopped at the mental health clinic at the local hospital to pick up the paperwork that I dropped off yesterday to be signed by the nurse practitioner and my therapist and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I stopped at the drug store to pick up a prescription and after paying the co-pay on it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.I also made a few important phone calls that needed to be made.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is never an easy thing to deal with as I am always on an up and down thing in regards to my emotions and/or moods.I never know how my mood will be from day to day or minute/moment to minute/moment.I can be up and feeling good one day or minute/moment and/or down and feeling not so good the next day or minute/moment.Aside from having BPD,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD even more difficult.I also have to put with hearing things that others around me can't hear,such as hearing footsteps,voices calling out my name and facing up to the reality that there is nobody there physically and feeling down at times as a result of all of those hallucinatory effects and symptoms of schizophrenia and when combined with the up and down emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,it can get pretty tiresome and make me emotionally drained.I am still attending my sessions with my therapist and I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.While I do get tempted to masturbate throughout the day every day,it is when I get these wee early morning hour throbbing erections that really make the temptation to masturbate really overwhelming at times,including this wee early morning,sexual images of men can cloud my mind and make it very difficult to resist.I tried to toss and turn,but it only made the erection throb more.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,so I got up and headed over to the bathroom and while walking there,though it was slow in doing so,the erection started to soften and after the few minutes that I spent in the bathroom,my genitals were fully soft and when I was finished,I headed back to bed and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a couple of later temptations while trying to fully wake up.The first was when I was still in bed and I started to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,sexual images of men were clouding my mind,with the other one happening when I did get up and was sitting down in a chair,and yes at both instances,sexual images of men clouded my mind,which motivated the giving in to this particular temptation.I managed to stop myself and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into these two temptations and I really prayed hard and asked for God's mercy in my giving into these things.I truly believed that I was forgiven for these sins and I went on with the rest of the day.Throughout the day,I was still getting tempted to indulge in sinful activity surrounding SSA.I was tempted to indulge in fantasies and to masturbate to these fantasies.I was tempted to lust repeatedly throughout the day and I had to keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I repeatedly asked for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations and I always felt better after praying as the temptations were reduced to nil.I kept at it throughout the day as I do get tempted to indulge in anything sinful and I really had to ask God for strength in fighting and resisting.While I am still doing that,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts to continue in prayer for me as I am going through all of this.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please don't be shy by leaving an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but rarely leave comments in the comments section.Please don't be afraid to leave anything encouraging to me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,there will be another dinner at my church,which is the only thing that I have planned.I really have nothing else planned for the rest of the day.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to the mental health clinic over at the local hospital to get some papers signed.After that,I headed over to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed over to the bank to withdraw some money to pay a bill tomorrow and after that,I headed over to a nearby gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.I also made a phone call to an organization that I am hoping to hook up with in the near future.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.There are times that I wish that I didn't have to go through this,but I know that this is a wish that will never come true,so I continue in my daily battle and struggle with it.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult,because I also have to put up with hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia alongside the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me whenever this particular struggle can get tiresome and monotonous.It also shows that I am not nor ever will be alone in this particular struggle.Thanks in advance to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this particular temptation.I sat up for a while and though it was pretty slow,the erection started to soften and I proceeded to get out of bed to use the bathroom and when I was finished,the erection had now fully died down and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after getting up by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men that were clouding my mind.I must admit that the manipulation of my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,though ejaculation does happen on occasion as a result of me doing this and yes,it is always to sexual images of men when I am doing this.I immediately asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for this sin and I immediately felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and I moved on.I was still tempted to do these things throughout the day and when the temptations came around again,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations that came at me.I always felt better after doing that as the temptations were reduced to nil.I also still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I willfully choose to stay home whenever that temptation hits as I don't want to act out on these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with SSA.It is because that I know that acting out sexually will never give me what I truly want and need,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that gender identity affirmation that I truly need and want.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who continue to follow my blog and read the posts that I post here.I am also asking that you please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy by leaving an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight against SSA and make me even more determined to continue in my journey of overcoming this terrible aforementioned SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.I also had the opportunity today to do a reading from the Holy Bible in front of the congregation and I received many positive accolades from my reading as many of my fellow worshipers said that I did a wonderful job reading.After some wonderful fellowship with the members,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed out of my suit and into my casual clothes and headed out to the local Super Wal-Mart to do some grocery shopping.I also managed to have a light lunch at Burger King before that.After I was done at Wal-Mart,I headed over to a local hardware store to pick up a small tube of Krazy Glue.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a pack of cookies and after paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the cookies away and I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church every Sunday makes the day eventful.I always look forward to church each and every Sunday.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride,which can get pretty tiresome and monotonous at times.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I can be up and feeling good one day/one minute/moment and down the next day/minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful and it shows that God and his son Jesus Christ are there helping me get through all of this rigamarole of having BPD/Schizophrenia combination.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.It was a really overwhelming temptation as well.I had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I sat up and started to get out of bed and the erection started to soften.I didn't lay back down until my genitals were fully soft and when they were,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have by masturbation,fantasies and/or lusting after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I fought these urges by throwing each temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I asked for strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations and I felt much better and stronger as a result of me doing that.I am again asking that all of you continue to pray for me as I am going through this difficult emotional struggle and also,I also ask that none of you who visit be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA.My blog does get visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave an encouraging comment or two.Please don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Please also continue to keep up in prayer for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed quickly and I headed over to my monthly Men's Network meeting,which was the first that I had attended since December.
The meeting went well and I did get quite a bit out of it.After the meeting was over,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed over to a nearby post office to mail out an important payment.After that was done,I did a little bit of shopping at a nearby Salvation Army thrift store and a nearby Dollar Tree store.After doing all of that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Sears store to make yet another important payment.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and had a light lunch and after lunch.I did my personal PC work.I relaxed and enjoyed a little TV after that was done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.At times,this constant emotional roller coaster ride can seem unbearable as it can be pretty monotonous.At times,I am up and feeling good,while at other times,down and not so good.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone here when it comes to this particular struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning by masturbating to sexual images of men.I started to manipulate my genitals while these images clouded my mind and when I was about to ejaculate,I masturbated the rest of the way until I ejaculated.After washing my hands,I immediately asked God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I felt really terrible for sinning against God in this way and I felt better after praying for the forgiveness as I truly believe that I am forgiven for my sins.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and I prayed hard for strength to fight and resist all of the temptations that came at me.I kept it up as I didn't want to sin again like I did early this morning.I kept up asking God for that strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I didn't cease praying.I always felt better after praying and the feeling that I got was an excellent feeling.I am also again asking that everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts to keep up praying for me.I also ask that all of you leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as well.It is just that my blog gets quite a few visitors,but the visitors rarely leave any encouraging words for me in the comments section.I would appreciate a kind word or two in the comments section that is also very encouraging.It is that both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,don't be shy by leaving an encouraging word or two for me as well.Thanks in advance to all of my followers for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual,including the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ