Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.I also did a Holy Bible reading in front of the congregation today.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After the service was over,we commenced to the church's fellowship hall for a charity luncheon that was held to raise funds for someone in the congregation that was sick and needed money for treatments.
The charity luncheon was wonderful as well and after eating and some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to pick up a prescription.After paying my co-pay for it,I left and as I was leaving,I ran into an old schoolmate of mine and we talked for a few minutes.After she went into the store,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes.I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday morning always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult or unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This just shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel only a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I sat up for a while and proceeded to attempt to get out of bed and that is what made the erection soften.When my genitals were fully soft,I went right back to sleep.For at least today,I really wasn't tempted very much to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and I really wasn't tempted to manipulate my genitals to those images of men.I guess what contributed to that was that I kept busy with the fellowship with my fellow worshipers in fellowship at church and also,at the charity luncheon.The thoughts of sex with other men never entered my mind today and for today,I felt relieved that I didn't have to go through any of it.Though I did escape today,I have to keep in mind that tomorrow is another day and so is the day after that and so on.I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging comment or two.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and to also continue healing from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good,but quiet,day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't too much on my agenda for today.I only went to a couple of places where I had to do a couple of necessary things.
I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed over to a local bargain outlet store,but couldn't find what I was looking for.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good,but quiet,day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day,or sometimes,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in the particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me again in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection out of a deep sleep.I tossed and turned repeatedly,but that only made the erection throb even more.I sat up and proceeded to get up out of bed and that is what made the erection start to soften.I went back to sleep when my genitals were fully soft.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to fantasize and lust after other men and I also gave into the subsequent manipulation of my genitals while doing that,but I did stop myself before it went too far and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and after that,I did feel better as I knew that I was forgiven and my sin was forgotten by God.Throughout the day,I was tempted every time as the temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I was tempted to look at porn and also,to fantasize and lust after other men.Whenever these temptations come around,I also get tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I had to really pray hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all day as these terrible temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I had to keep up in prayer to God in his son Christ Jesus' name all day and I kept asking for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations.It is just that thoughts of impure and immoral sexual images of men keep creeping up into my mind and I really don't know how I can get them off of my mind.I don't want to think of anything sexual in regards to men,but lately,they have been coming into my mind and I just want them to go away and leave me alone.I was also tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I chose to stay home rather than feed that particular temptation as I know that any sort of sexual activity with other men won't give me the fulfillment that I truly want,but mostly need.Sexual activity with other men and also,lusting and fantasizing with other men will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is the identity that I am trying to distance myself from and disown.I hate that I have these feelings that are both unwanted and unnatural.I don't want to feel these feelings anymore,but I am still feeling them over and over day in and day out.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts here to please continue praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section of my blog.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for me as I could use some encouragement.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and also,make me even more determined to continue to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed as I had a few things planned,with one big thing happening this morning that was very important.
I met with a counselor at a local job placement organization where we discussed program basics and filled out some paper work and he said that the minute that he gets some paper work that I had to fill out at home that I had to send in by today,he can start looking into some jobs for me.I am now officially a client as of now and after the meeting,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after eating,I headed for a gas station to get some gas and after that was done,I headed over to a local K-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some money and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered the withdrawn bills at the Where's George site and after that was done,I headed back out to pay a couple of bills.
I paid the first bill at a local supermarket and after that was paid,I headed over to the post office to mail out the other bill.After that was done and as I was leaving the post office,I popped that paper work that I had to complete at home in the mail and I am hoping that it gets there by Monday.After that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed over to the drug store to pick up a couple of prescriptions.After paying the co-pay on those,I stopped at a local 7-Eleven to buy a bottle of mineral water.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or sometimes,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I can be up and feeling good one day/minute/moment and down and not so good the next day/minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the BPD emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia,such as hearing things and/or other noises that nobody else can hear other than me.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ,talk about it and I leave nothing out and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,though it didn't last very long.I simply sat up in bed and proceeded to get out of bed and as I did this,the erection started to soften and I headed for the bathroom as I had to go.Once I was finished in the bathroom,my genitals were fully softened and I went back to sleep.For the rest of the day,I didn't have any sexual thoughts of men nor any cravings to lust or fantasize.I had a pretty busy day and all the activity that I had to do today took my mind off of anything sexual.For today,nothing sexual with men came into my mind and that was good.Again,this was the result of keeping busy and just going along with the day.Though I did escape today,I have to keep in mind that tomorrow is another day and there will always be the days after that I have to also keep in mind.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up prayers for me and also,to please don't be and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and make me even more determined to overcome and heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I went over to a local kitchen and I was given a bag lunch,which I accepted and headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put a few things away and sat down to enjoy my lunch.I also heated up a bowl of soup to have alongside the bag lunch that I was given.After that,I called my neighbor and I helped her with something that she wanted to get done,which took an hour and half to finish.After that was done,I went back into the house to relax and finish the rest of my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be be from one day to the next,or sometimes,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from enduring the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in keeping me sustained.I am never alone when it comes to my mental illness struggles and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that the do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning when I manipulated my genitals to fantasies and lusting of other men and I wound ejaculating while doing that.This really made me feel terrible and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I did feel better as I truly believed that I was truly forgiven by God and that my sin was also forgotten by God.Throughout the day,I was still tempted to act out by fantasies and lusting after other men and I kept up in prayer the whole day as the temptations kept coming at me from all sides.Lately,images of men have been creeping into my mind and along with them,my mind has been preoccupied with images of myself performing particular sexual acts on them,mostly oral sex.I just want my mind to be cleared of these images and also,I want to think positive,healthy,wholesome and Christian thoughts of my fellow man and not impure and unwholesome sexual thoughts.I want to think of my fellow men as brothers only and not as possible sexual partners.These types of things are borne out of selfishness,greed and lust and I just don't want to think about them.Why these images and thoughts keep creeping up into my mind is something that I don't know as of yet.I want to reject these thoughts,but even when I do that,they come back.I am again appealing to all of you who follow my blog and read my posts regularly to keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time in my life and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors,but comments of any kind are rarely left in the comments section.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section as I could use some encouraging words right about now.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and struggle against this terrible SSA and make me even more determined to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have to meet with a counselor at a job placement organization in my hometown.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to the bank to deposit a check that was sent to me and after that,I decided to take a drive to find a particular place that I needed to look for as I was heading there on Friday.It is with a job placement office and I needed to find out where the place was so I would know where to go and how to get there.After finding the office,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult as I also have to endure the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult or unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and this does make me feel only a tad better.Thanks to both both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I tossed to my left and the erection softened pretty quickly.I went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men and today,for the first time in quite a while,I was tempted to go out and seek other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them.I ignored that temptation by simply driving home after finding the office that I have an appointment with on Friday.Day after day,the SSA struggle gets even more difficult and the unnatural desires to indulge in sinful sexual activity with other men also get stronger,because the temptation to do that gets stronger by the day.I was also trying to work on staying strong after falling yesterday morning.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts that I make to please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave comments.Please leave me an encouraging comment as I would really appreciate that.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and gives me more motivation to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and lunch at the local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had one really big thing on my agenda today.I had an appointment with a urology associates office in regard to the frequent bathroom going throughout the day and also,the pain in my groin area.After the appointment,which went well,we arranged another session where I have my groin area checked out via x-ray.After leaving the office,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This shows me that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation by masturbation early this morning,but this time,it was more on an emotional level than with lusting and fantasies,though that was a small contributor.I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive my sins and I did feel better as a result as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist the temptations that came at me from all sides.I felt better and much stronger after doing that and it did make me feel better.I am again asking for prayers by all of you who continue to follow my blog and read the posts.I am also again ask that you please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and also,motivates me to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward and onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much to do today.The only two things that I did was to first go to the public library to print something that I needed to print from my e-mail and after that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put what I bought away and for about half and hour,worked on paper work that I had to complete for my urology appointment tomorrow and for the job placement organization that I will be meeting with soon.After that,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward and onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I have to cope and deal with this emotional roller coaster ride day in and day out and at times,it can get pretty monotonous and tiresome.There are times that I wish that I didn't have to deal with this or even endure it,although I know that I have to,though I still wish that I didn't.Aside from the emotional ups and downs of BPD,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It's bad enough that I am enduring the BPD emotional roller coaster ride,but I also have to endure the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with both God and his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This one throbbed more than the previous ones that I have had.I sat up in bed and proceeded to get out of bed and that is what made the erection start to soften.I also headed for the bathroom as I had to use the bathroom anyway and when I was finished,the erection had fully softened and I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation upon arising by manipulating my genitals to lustful images of men and I also subsequently started to fantasize with the images and that prompted the genital manipulation.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning.Throughout the day,I was tempted to indulge in lusting and fantasizing with sexual images of men and to subsequently manipulate my genitalia with those images in my mind.I kept up in prayer to God all throughout the day whenever these sexual images of men flooded my mind and I asked God in his son Christ Jesus' name to give me strength to fight and resist these temptations as they came at me from all sides and I felt better and much stronger after that.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts here to continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with a urology associates office and I am hoping that this goes well.I have nothing else planned for the rest of the day.But I hope that whatever I choose to gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were as wonderful as usual.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow Christians,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to pick up a couple of prescriptions.After paying the co-pay on these,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes,I also did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church every Sunday morning always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.It can get pretty tiresome and also,pretty monotonous.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply put this struggle in the hands of both God and his son Jesus Christ,take it to them in prayer and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a mater of letting God and his son Christ Jesus take the lead and getting me through the difficulties of this double whammy of a psychiatric disability that I have.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for a while and proceeded to get out of bed and that is when the erection started to soften.I also walked to the bathroom and when I was finished in the bathroom,the erection had fully softened and I simply went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasizing with other men and also,to manipulate my genitals while lusting and fantasizing to those sexual images of men.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and kept asking God in his son Christ Jesus' name to give me strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations and I felt much stronger afterwards and I truly believed and knew that God and Christ both heard me.I felt better afterwards and that was great.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I am also asking that none of you be shy and please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.I continually ask these things because your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
In the midst of doing all of this,I received a couple of phone calls.One from my dad and another from someone I worship with in church.
I really didn't have too much to do.I checked out my trunk and sorted out all the empty cans and bottles that I had that were loose and after putting them back in the garbage bag,I headed for a local supermarket to turn them in and it was a few extra dollars for me.After that was done,I headed for a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something that I needed for dinner.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate from time to time on a daily basis,or at other times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular with God,put in his hands,in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of letting God and Christ take the lead and have them keep me calm and serene on a proper spiritual level and also,to help me endure through the whole thing.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I tossed and turned repeatedly to try and soften my genitals,but that only made them throb more.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and that made my genitals start to soften.After using the bathroom,which is why I got up and out of bed,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I gave into a later temptation by lusting and fantasizing with other men and I also manipulated my genitals to these sexual images of men that clouded my mind.These images were really intense and I also imagined myself doing all sorts of things with them.I stopped myself and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me my sins and I really prayed hard to God for forgiveness for these sins and after I was finished,I felt better truly believing that I was forgiven and I moved on with the rest of the day.I was also tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies,lusting and also,to look at pornography online.I kept up in prayer to God all day in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep giving me strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations as they kept coming at me.I kept up and never ceased praying.I did feel better and much stronger after praying.I also still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than feed that particular temptation.While I have been doing this,I am also again asking for everyone who continually follows my blog and reads my posts to continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I am also asking that all of you who visit to please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.I ask these things because your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed out right away to take care of some personal business that I had to take care of.After that,I headed to a local kitchen for some lunch.After that,I headed for home.
On my way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home as I saw the sky and decided to head straight home as the sky looked as if a terrible rainstorm was coming.
When I got home,I relaxed and did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone on this struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I sat up for a while and as I started doing so,the erection started to soften and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men and to also manipulate my genitals while doing so.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ throughout the day and I asked for strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations as they kept coming at me and after I finished praying,I felt stronger and totally believed that God and Christ both heard me.SSA is never an easy thing to struggle with and it gets even more difficult day after day.I am again asking for prayers by all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts.I am also asking that you please share an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are area.Please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and also,they both make me even more determined to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my Thursday morning spirituality group and that meeting went well as usual and after that was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after I was finished,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed over to the local K-Mart to see if they had something that I needed in stock,but they still didn't.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.It can be tiresome and draining at times.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I attempted to get out of bed and that slowly softened the erection and I sat up for a while and when my genitals were fully soft,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted to indulge in lusting and fantasies with sexual images of men clouding my mind and I had to really fight the impulse to indulge in genital manipulation to these sexual images of men.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist these urges.I even turned to God and asked him in prayer in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist these urges and also,to help me keep my mind clear of all these sexual images.It is a really tricky and difficult life that we who struggle with SSA lead and it can get pretty overwhelming.It can get so overwhelming that at times,it may try to emotionally drain and can also tire us out.But again,I kept praying to God for strength each and every time that these urges came at me and I felt better and also much stronger as the temptations were all reduced to nil.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts to continue praying for me as I am going through this emotionally intense time.I am also again asking that all of you to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors,but comments are rare.Please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.
I had a few things on my agenda.Firstly,my niece and I went through some old papers that had accumulated in the house in big piles to find another important paper,which wasn't found.After that,we bagged everything worthless and useless in garbage bags and she left.After that,I had a light lunch and proceeded to get on with the the main thing on my agenda today.
I had to go to my general doctor to get the results of my PSA and I waited almost two and half hours so the doctor can give me the results and according to him,everything checks out good,but I am still having groin pains and frequent bathroom going throughout the day.I left the office and headed for a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things needed.After that,I headed straight home.
Regarding what my general doctor said,I am going to get a second opinion from a urology associates office that I was a patient of years ago and see if everything is really okay.I need to see what is really causing these problems.I also need to see if there is a way to stop this.I am at the point where the pain has gone from mild to mildly excruciating.Again,I am getting a second opinion.
When I got home,I heated up a can of chili that I bought and that was dinner for tonight.After that,I relaxed and took it easy while watched a DVD.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This makes me feel a tad better knowing that God and Christ are there leading the way and making sure the symptoms of my psychiatric disability don't go from bed to worse or even more extreme.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I sat up in bed and proceeded to get out of bed and as I did this,the erection started to soften and when I walked to the doorway to my room,my genitals were fully softened and I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to manipulate my genitalia to lustful images of men clouding my mind and that led to fantasies and the genital manipulation.I immediately asked God to forgive me for sinning against him in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.For much of the day,I wasn't tempted very much as I kept busy with the work that my niece and I did and also,for being in the doctor's office for much of the day.It was simply doing these things that kept my mind off of anything sexual with men and kept my mind clear.While I went through the rest of the day not feeling any sorts of temptations,tomorrow is another day.I have to keep in mind that the temptations will come when least expected.I am again asking that everyone who continually follows my blog and reads my posts to please keep up in prayer for me.I am also asking that you also leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and also,lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after getting dressed,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
I first went out to run an errand that needed to be run.After I was finished,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I put into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with BPD,it's symptoms and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better with them leading the way.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation late last night by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men that crept up into my mind and I masturbated the rest of the way when the point of orgasm came on.After that happened,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling short and I did feel better because I truly believed that I was forgiven for my sins,but later on,in the wee early morning hours,I was tempted to do that again when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.When that latter temptation happened,I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed to go to the bathroom and the erection started to soften and after I was finished in the bathroom,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to sleep.While I did escape the wee early morning hour episode despite the fall that happened last night,I still got tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies with other men and to also manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all through the day as these terrible temptations came around.The lustful sexual images of men just keep coming into my mind and the temptations follow them.I kept up in prayer all day and I did feel stronger each time I did.I am still getting tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that particular temptation happens,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than give into that particular temptation.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who continue to follow my blog and read my posts.I am also asking for all of my followers to please make an encouraging word or two in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors,but comments are rare.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and those encouraging words motivate me to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and to also continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,the only thing that I have planned is a doctor's appointment in the late afternoon to get the results of my PSA test.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went out to pay a couple of bills that needed to be paid.After that,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up something that I needed for myself.After that,I went to the bank to withdraw some much needed money.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the withdrawn money and after putting it in a safe place at home,I relaxed and watched a movie.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions very by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.It does get complicated and I at times wished that I didn't have to go through any of this.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and I got out of bed and headed for the bathroom.As I headed for the bathroom,the erection started softening and after I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have in other ways,such as lusting,fantasies and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping with these lustful images that also motivates fantasizing with the images.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges as they came at me from all sides.I am always fighting these unnatural sexual desires that I have and at times,the temptations to act out in them gets stronger with each resistance.The SSA struggle is a difficult one indeed and it gets tougher each and every day.It never lets up and it can feel like that you are being emotionally drained by each day as you continually struggle to stay strong with all of these terrible temptations coming at you from all sides.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that temptation comes at me,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than feed that particular temptation.I still get tempted to lust and fantasize as well as play with myself temptations to lust and fantasize come around and those are the temptations that I am constantly fighting against.I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog to please continue praying for me as I am going through all of this and also,please don't be shy by expressing any encouraging words in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please share an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section alongside keeping up in prayer for me.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans,But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed over to church for the morning's study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with the rest of the members,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes.After a light lunch,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and popped a movie in and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday morning makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful in itself as both God and his son Christ Jesus are leading the way.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate in the wee early morning hours came at me when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and I got up out of bed to goo to there and while I did that,the erection started to soften and after I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting after and fantasizing with other men.I was also tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping to these sexual images of men.I had to keep up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I asked God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me the strength to fight and resist all of these temptations that were coming at me from all sides.I prayed hard for that strength and when I was finished,I felt stronger and much better as the temptations were reduced to nil.While I have been doing that,I am again asking for prayers by all of you who continually follow my blog and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and also,they both make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did my personal PC work.While doing this,I received a phone call from my father,who just wanted to check up on me.After that was done,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had a few things to do today.I went to the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of things and after paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I am feeling a tad better now.The weather has somewhat improved and I did manage to get out to do some things that I needed to do.Still,my down feelings were still the same,but this time,I managed to get out and just do what I had to do after being couped up in the house the last few days.It was great to finally get out after those last days of being stuck in the house due to the weather.Still,my emotional roller coaster ride stalled at down and I think that it will take a few days for me to get back into positive spirits again.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,so I got out of bed and I headed there and as I was heading for there,the erection started to soften and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and I had to keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these terrible temptations came at me.I prayed to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations as they kept coming at me and I did feel better and much stronger after praying.Lately,these terrible unnatural sexual desires that I have have been really overwhelming me.At times,these desires can be so overwhelming that at times,I feel like giving up and surrendering to these unnatural sexual desires that I have,but I keep deciding to stand my ground as I am determined to continue in my journey to overcome SSA.Yesterday,in the early evening,I had to really pray hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ as these desires were really starting to overwhelm me.The sexual images of men were really clouding my mind and all the opinions of those so called "Pro-Gay" people were also trying to filter my mind alongside the unwholesome images of men.I prayed real hard to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus' name and I left nothing out.I bared all to God and told him that these unnatural sexual desires that I have and also,the sexual images of men and the opinions of those so called "Pro-Gay" people trying to merge with the images.I prayed so hard that I was at the point of tears and even had a little bit of anger.The anger wasn't toward God at all,but towards these feelings and these disgusting sexual and lustful images that weer trying to take over my mentality and try to get me to surrender to the unnatural desires that I have,accept that I am "Gay" and that "being 'Gay' is not a lifestyle choice",which,in reality,it is and that it's "who I am and what I am and there's nothing that can be done about it as it is something that a person who is 'Gay' is born with",which is also the most common lie that is told about it.It isn't easy making the right and also,most righteous decision.I am not saying that I am righteous,as God and his son Christ Jesus are the ones who determine who is truly righteous and who isn't.I prayed that I am simply starving for contact with other men and that I really need to have positive and healthy relationships with other men in order to heal from this terrible SSA condition.Again,I prayed so hard that I was in tears as I was praying and also felt anger at having these terrible desires that were really overwhelming me at that point.I also said to God that I hated it that I found men sexually attractive and that I hated having these unnatural sexual desires for men as this wasn't what God intended sexuality to be when he created the first human couple,man and woman,in the Garden of Eden,which shows what he truly approves of in regards to sexuality and that there are no substitutes.This is God's law regarding sexuality,as he created man and woman,and there is nothing else acceptable to God other than that.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts here.Please continue in prayer for me,and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments of any kind.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in the fight against SSA,strengthens my determination to continue in overcoming SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for all of your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for being there and also,for all that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward.I had a pretty fair day today as a result of the terrible weather we have been having in my area.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I simply relaxed and waited for my substitute case worker to come over.
After the session with my substitute case worker,I simply chose to stay home as it was yet another very rainy day and the winds were blowing.I also was feeling a little down as a result of the weather and I simply chose to relax and take it easy at home.I watched a couple of DVD's and that was it.There wasn't much for me to do as a result of the terrible weather that we were having.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.Today,I was feeling down as a result of the weather that we have been having.It has been rainy and really windy for the past few days and it will be through tomorrow.My down feelings were the result of the weather and also,having really nothing to do as a result of the weather.I am hoping that the weather starts improving real soon.I am also still dealing the hallucinatory effects of the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that is making my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up for a while and I proceeded to get up and while I was doing that,the erection started softening and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to lust after men,fantasize alongside the lusting and also,to manipulate my genitalia alongside all of these things.I kept up in prayer to God all day in the name of his son Jesus Christ and also asked him for strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations and I felt much stronger as I knew that God heard me and that was good.I am again asking for prayers from all of you who continually follow my blog and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I continually ask these things because my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue overcoming SSA and to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed withe the rest of my day as I had a few things planned.
I first headed over to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group.I always look forward to these Thursday groups with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm as they fast approach.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after I was done eating,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few more things.After paying for them,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished the rest of my personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.With God and his son Christ Jesus leading the way,it shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to indulge in masturbation when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I tossed to my left side and the erection softened within a couple of minutes.When my genitals were fully soft,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting after images of men,and to indulge in fantasies of other men,and to also manipulate my genitals with these lustful and sexual images clouding my mind.I kept up in prayer all day to God and asked him in his son Christ Jesus' name for strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations as they kept coming at me.I kept up in praying and each time I finished,I felt much stronger and also felt better.It also proves to me that God and Christ are both there ready to help me whenever I need them and that is wonderful.I am also again asking for prayers by all of you who continue to follow my blog and read the posts and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets quite a few visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments of an encouraging nature.I ask these things repeatedly because both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue to overcome SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of your for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.
Today,the weather was rainy and wet.I didn't have too much to do and I chose to simply stay home and take it easy for the rest of the day.I also felt that I needed a much needed break from everything and from all the stress of life.It has been pretty stressful for me as of late,with all of my medical problems and also,the verbal attacks that I have been receiving as a result of defending my Christian faith and trying to show people who claim to be Christian and also at the same time,claim to be supporters of the LGBT agenda,when in reality,nobody can be Christian and support the LGBT agenda at the same time.I have learned that not everybody will accept that hard truth,but in the long run,I am hoping that they will one day see the error of their ways and see that that can't represent Christianity and represent the agenda of the LGBT movement.I learned the hard way that we can only represent one side of the issue or the other.Nobody can represent both as that would be trying to serve two masters and Matthew 6:24 says,in it's own way,that nobody who is a Christian can do that.You can only represent either God's side or the world's side.When someone claims to represent both the side of God and the world's side and claim to be Christian,that is also trying mix light with darkness and also,partaking at the Lord's table and the demon's table at the same time and again,the Holy Bible in it's own way says that Christians can't do that as the scriptures of 1st Corinthians 10:21 and 2nd Corinthians 6:14 demonstrate.Again,only one side of the issue can be represented or the other,not both.I have chosen to represent only God's side and sever all ties that I have with anyone or anything connected with LGBT agenda as that is the only thing that I as a Christian can do and it is also the right thing to do.I hope that what I said here inspires many and leads many others to think about where they really stand and represent as Christians.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It never gets any easier at all each and every day.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It also shows that I am never alone in this struggle and with God and Christ Jesus leading the way and helping to sustain me,I do feel a little bit better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours at two separate intervals when I was awakened by throbbing erections at both those intervals.I tossed and turned at both these intervals and on both,the erections softened and I went back to sleep after both of these.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting after men and to fantasize with those lustful sexual images.I was also tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,though ejaculation has occurred on occasion and also at times,I do get tempted to masturbate the rest of the way.When these things happened,I kept up in prayer to God and I kept asking him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep giving me strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations.After the setbacks of last week and at the beginning of this week,I am trying to stay as clear away from any sexual desires that are connected with SSA and also,to try and stay strong in resisting all sorts of temptations to get me to indulge in lusting and fantasies with other men,but I also know that I can't do it alone as I need the help of both God and his son Jesus Christ in my fight to resist all sorts of sexual temptations.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I simply as well as willfully choose to stay home rather than feed that particular temptation.I am also again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog to keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this emotionally complex time and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please share an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section,which can be either something spiritually upbuilding/uplifting or simply some encouragement from anyone who is also in the process of healing from this terrible SSA.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and that also makes me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome SSA and also to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouraging words.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen after the meeting is over.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did my personal PC work and I managed to get it done despite an issue with the internet connection that lasted ten minutes,which made me re-start my computer to get the internet going well again.
I had only a few things on my agenda for today.I first had a very important appointment with a counselor from an association that I had an orientation with as the month of March was winding down.This time,it was to get me hooked up with a local job placement program in my hometown.
The meeting with the counselor went better than expected.The counselor told me that I should be hearing from the local job placement office real soon.After the meeting was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a movie.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle against the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that they are there to help me and that I don't have to suffer alone.It does make me feel a tad better knowing that.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I,for the second consecutive time this week,gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals to lustful and sexual images of me that were clouding my mind.It led to ejaculation and I felt nothing but misery after falling.After washing my hands,I immediately asked God to forgive me for falling in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I begged for God's mercy as this was my second consecutive fall this week.After I was finished,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that the slate was wiped clean.I really need to work on taking these weaknesses and put them in Gods hands.I can't keep falling every time that I turn around.Don't get me wrong,I know that God in his son Christ Jesus' name forgives unlimitedly,but I still need to work on this as I don't want to keep falling constantly.I need to ask God for strength whenever these temptations come around.I really need to go to God and take these temptations to him in prayer and also,I have to learn to be really tough with myself.I want to do what God wants me to do and I want to do the right thing in his eyes and what his sacred word,the Holy Bible,says to do.It is just that my sinful nature wants me to do the exact opposite,which I don't want to do at all,as that would displease God.I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continually keep praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I am also asking that all of you please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work and when that was finished,I proceeded to get on with the resat of my day.
I had only a few things on my agenda for today.I first went to the post office to buy a money order to pay for my car insurance and after I paid that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I watched a movie.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with BPD,it's symptoms and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions are always on a constant up and down ride.At times,it can get pretty tiresome.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have alongside BPD and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to let God and his son Jesus Christ lead the way and let them help in sustaining me whenever I take this particular struggle to them in prayer.It isn't easy struggling with BPD or even schizophrenia,but with God and Christ helping out,it makes it a tad bearable,though I still have to do my part by continuing my therapy and continuing to take my medication.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am going to be very blunt,straightforward and honest here,though it pains me to write about this.I again gave into temptation this morning while I was online.I gave into the temptation to watch online porn and also,to lust after and fantasize with the men that I was seeing in the porn.It led me to manipulate my genitals and when I reached the point of orgasm,I masturbated to ejaculation.I really felt miserable after this particular fall and after cleaning my hands,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for the fall and when praying to them,I left nothing out.I admitted to everything that I did and asked God in his son Christ Jesus' name to forgive me and also,I begged for God's mercy to be upon me as I did fall four times last week as a result of some negative things that happened,such as my medical concerns and having comments where I shared the truth with other on an online blog and they were removed for being "fanatical fundamentalist rhetoric" and my subsequent sadness and anger over their removal.I guess that I am really not over this.It really hurt me when I saw them removed and that they were taken the wrong way and were also taken entirely out of context.I was trying to be sincere and loving in a Christ like way,but everyone on the blog,who claimed to be Christian,while at the same time claiming to support the LGBT agenda,made them out to be the opposite of my intentions.How can anyone claim to be Christian and be supportive of the LGBT agenda at the same time?It doesn't make sense.I am trying to make people see,in the utmost sincere and Christian way,that you can't be a Christian and support an agenda that God,nor his sacred word,the Holy Bible,doesn't approve of.You can only represent one side of the issue or the other.Nobody who claims to be a Christian can't represent both sides.That is trying mix light with darkness or even so,having a share at the Lord's table and the demon's table at the same time.This can't be done.If you are a Christian,you should only choose to represent God's side and not the worldly side.Nobody can be Christian and support any agenda that God abhors.It's impossible.A true Christian,though it is up to God and his son Christ Jesus to determine who is truly a Christian and who isn't as they are the only real judges in this area,supports and represents only the godly agenda and not any worldly agenda.I know that this does sound harsh,but it is the truth and we have to learn to live by the truth and not by falsehoods nor any agenda that doesn't fit what God intended when he created us and also,made sure his sacred word,the Holy Bible,was well preserved for future generations.I am once again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts regularly.I am also asking again that all of you don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments or encouraging words.Please do leave me an encouraging word or two.Why?Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome SSA and the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have to meet with a counselor from an association to help me get hooked up for a job placement program.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up into a suit and I headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.I also did a reading from the Holy Bible in front of the congregation at the podium and the responses were positive,which made me feel appreciated and loved.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes.I had a light lunch and after eating that,I did my personal PC work and after that was finished,I relaxed and watched a movie.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily dealing and struggles with BPD,it's symptoms and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be as I go from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I sat up for a while and I proceeded to get up out of bed and that made the erection soften and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I had to put up with even more temptation throughout the day as the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have by means,such as fantasies,lusting and also,to manipulate my genitals to get them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I was tempted to do all of that throughout the day.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ as these temptations were coming on strong.I didn't want to fall again as I have fallen four times already this week as result of an emotional tailspin that I have been in as a result of some negative things happening.I am trying to get back into the whole process of healing from SSA and to keep away from anything or anyone that might try to get me to compromise what I have learned to be the cold hard God honest truth.It is never an easy thing to deal with and it is very difficult to resist temptations to act out in any way,shape or form.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts on here.I am also again asking that all of you to please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to overcome SSA and to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ