Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Big Lots to see if they had anything that I was looking for,which they didn't.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes.I did 4/5 of my personal PC work.After that,I headed back out to see the new Oz movie;Oz:The Great and Powerful,which I really enjoyed immensely as,IMHO,the film was better than I thought it was going to be.After the movie was over,I headed over to a local bargain outlet store to look around,but couldn't find anything that I was looking for.After that,I headed to a Super Wal-Mart in another area of the county that I lived.I went there to see of they had any footwear in my size,but I did buy a new pair that did fit.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got into the house quickly as I saw storm clouds in the air and I managed to make it home just in time as it did storm some.I relaxed and finished my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday morning always makes the day eventful and also,seeing a wonderful movie today to boot.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,which didn't last very long.I had to get up and use the bathroom anyway when this happens,so I headed for the bathroom,did what I had to do and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to sleep after getting back in bed.For the rest of the day,I wasn't really tempted to indulge in any fantasies,lusting and genital manipulation to them as I kept busy through the rest of the day.I kept my mind occupied with things,such as going to the movies and doing a little bit of window and bought a pair of new walking shoes.I kept busy and the unwanted and the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA didn't hamper me today.While today was great,there is still tomorrow and the temptations can come back the next day.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who continue to follow my blog and read that posts.I am also asking for all of you to please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of seeing my therapist,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
Today,it was another rainy type of day.This time,I had to get out and do some necessary shopping that needed to get done.I was couped up in the house yesterday as a result of a rainstorm that we had.Today,it was only a minor rainfall,but I had to get out.
Today,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something that I needed and after that,I headed over to a local bargain outlet store to see if they had anything that I was looking for,which they didn't.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the ups and downs of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was awakened by yet another erection in the wee early morning hours and again,I was tempted to masturbate the erection away,though it didn't last very long.I had to get up and use the bathroom anyway,so I got out of bed and headed for the bathroom.After I was finished,the erection was fully softened and I went right back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men while I was still in bed trying to get back up,though still feeling tired.Fortunately for myself,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him by giving into this particular temptation.Throughout the rest of the day,I was constantly tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have in many ways,shapes and forms.I get tempted to lust,fantasize and also,to manipulate my genitals to these things,especially when sexual images of men start clouding my mind whenever I am feeling tired or feeling lonely.I also still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I simply and willfully choose to stay home whenever that particular temptation comes around rather than go out and feed it as acting out,no matter what form it takes,will never give me what I truly need and/or want.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all through the day as these terrible temptations kept coming at me.I prayed and asked for strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations that kept coming at from all sides and after I was finished,I felt much stronger and truly knew and believed that God and Christ were there to strengthen me and get me through the worst.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up in praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I am really in desperate need of prayer as I am being attacked from all sides by these terrible temptations.I also again ask that all of you who follow my blog to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as I really need some encouraging words right now.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but rarely leave a comment of any kind.Please don't be shy when visiting and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I only ask these things because your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also motivate me to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.I don't want to feel this way anymore.I seek support and encouragement in my healing and when visitors don't post anything encouraging,I feel that I am all alone here and I don't want to feel that way.Please pray for me and also,please leave me an encouraging and supportive comment when you do visit my blog.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I am also planning to go see a movie at the local bargain movie theater in my hometown.As for the rest of the day,I just might sit down and take it easy.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work.
Today,I stayed home for much of the day as we had a rainy day.It was rainy all day and I just felt that it would be best to stay home and simply catch up on some much needed work that needed to be done around the house.I was just feeling bored and there really wasn't much to do,so I simply caught up on some much needed work that needed to be done.After the work was done,I relaxed and took it easy and I simply watched a DVD that I put into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It never gets easier day after day,or at times,minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.My moods and/or emotions vary and at times,it does get pretty tiresome,frustrating and draining.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seems to be getting way too difficult or overwhelming for me to handle.I simply bring this struggle to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ,put everything in their hands when it starts to get really tough and I have them take the lead and they both help in sustaining me.They show me,in their own way,that they are there leading the way and making sure that I stay level and clam.They also help quiet any noises and/or hallucinatory effects that are the symptoms of having schizophrenia and also,the ups and downs of BPD.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,though it didn't last long.I turned to my left side when it happened and though it was slow,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I did escape this particular episode,I did give into a later temptation while still in bed when I manipulated my genitals to sexual images of men that were clouding my mind,but I did manage to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in even more fantasies and lusting after other men and ti manipulate my genitals to these images.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ throughout the day as these terrible temptations kept coming at me from all sides.It is a difficult fight that I have struggling with the terrible SSA,but I can't let the unnatural desires that I have dictate nor define who I am nor who I will be.I have to constantly let these desires that I have know that I own them and not let them own me.I am going to keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ each and every time I get tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have come in any way,shape of form.I am also again asking that all of you please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this really trying and difficult emotional time.Please continue in prayer for me as I am going through all of this.I also ask that all you leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Please don't be shy when visiting and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and that motivates me to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I headed out to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group.Before all of that,I had to met with a counselor to finish up my resume by updating it with my current phone number and to also sign some papers that I have to sign each and every month.
The group meeting went as well as expected.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed over to the local public works department to drop off an old microwave oven for proper recycling and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed.I also finished my personal PC work.After that,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I relaxed.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or sometimes,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about my BPD/Schizophrenia struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I don't have anything to worry about nor fear when it comes to my mental health struggles and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to indulge in masturbation during the wee early morning hours when another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.The urge to masturbate the erection away was really overwhelming and I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I got up out of bed and I walked to the bathroom as I had to go really bad.While walking there,the erection started to soften and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and also,back to sleep.Though I did escape this particular episode,I did give into two later temptations at two separate intervals,one in the morning after getting up for the day and later in the early afternoon.On both intervals,sexual images of men had clouded my mind and the temptations to lust after them and fantasize with them also came at me and I actually gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitalia to these images on both occasions,but I did manage to stop myself before going too far in both of these falls and on both occasions,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning and I prayed real hard as I did feel miserable after giving into these two terrible temptations.I prayed real hard and I felt better after both of these as I truly believed that God had heard me,forgave me and wiped the slate clean of my sins.This is a very difficult struggle as it gets even more difficult by the day.This week has been very emotionally trying for me as I had to go through a mildly painful procedure at the urology associates office within another area of the county where I live and the anxiety and fear of finding out if there is something wrong or not.Plus,sharing my medical problems with someone that I know who always keeps making obnoxious and immature sexual themed jokes rather than give me some support and encouragement that I am truly seeking whenever I share any problems that I have.The temptations have really been coming at me from all sides as of late and I really don't know whether I am coming or going or what I will do if they get worse.These temptations even include the all too common temptation of going out to seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but as I have stated time and time again,I simply and willfully choose to stay home whenever that particular temptation rears it ugly head rather than going out and feeding it,which will never give me what I want no way no how.I am again asking that all of you keep praying for me as I am going through this very difficult emotionally trying time and also,I would really appreciate some encouraging words in the comments section please.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments of any kind.Please don't be shy and leave some encouraging words for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue diligently in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,despite some setbacks.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my insurance agent's office to pay my car insurance for the month and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries that I bought away and I headed over to a friend's place to see how they were doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to fold all of my laundry up and put it away and it took me 20 minutes to do.After that,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,despite some setbacks,I am still in my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or on other days,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It does make me feel a little better knowing that God and Christ are leading the way and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and I walked to the bathroom as I had to use it.The erection had fully softened once I was finished in the bathroom.I went right back to sleep afterwards.Though I did escape this particular episode,I did give into a later temptation by manipulating my genitals to lustful and sexual images of men clouding my mind,but managed to stop myself before it went too far and immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I repeatedly begged for his mercy while praying.After that,I felt much better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that the slate was wiped clean.Throughout the rest of the day,I was tempted to indulge in Homosexual themed fantasies and lusting and to manipulate my genitals along to those fantasies and lusting.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all day as they kept coming at me and I did feel much better and much stronger after doing so.The struggle with SSA is never an easy one at all.Temptations can come when least expected and when they do come,it is very difficult to resist them.Aside from indulging in lustful fantasies with sexual images of men,I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I simply,willfully and usually choose to stay home when that particular temptation comes around.If I am out when that particular temptation comes around,I try to change my frame of mind by going somewhere until the temptation dies down or I will head for home and try to think of wholesome and healthy thoughts to get my mind off of anything sexual with men.I am really going through a really difficult time in my life,as I had to have tests done on me to see what could be wrong with me,as to why I was going through the difficulties of the frequent bathroom going and the pain in my groin area.I am still feeling the fallout of all of these things and it will take me quite a while to get over.I am going to need all the prayers and encouragement that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts daily.Please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this really difficult emotional time trying to get over the stresses and anxieties of the procedure that I had to go through yesterday.Please keep praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both do help keep me going in this struggle against this terrible SSA and also,to motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.I know that I keep repeating this,but it is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind,especially encouraging ones,are rare.When visiting or just being curious,please leave me an encouraging word or two.I would really appreciate that.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did 4/5 of my personal PC work.I had a few things planned for today and I wanted to get them done.
I had only one really big thing on my agenda for today.I had an appointment with a urology associates office to get my groin area checked out to see what could be causing my problems in my frequent bathroom going throughout the day and also,the pains that I've been getting in my groin area.
The whole thing took almost a minute,and according to the doctor,everything checks out good,but he did say that my prostate gland is acting up and he advised me to continue taking the prescribed medication and I also got two antibiotic pills to take with dinner for two nights,including tonight.After the whole procedure was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished my personal PC work.I also went out to pick up something for dinner as I wasn't in the mood to cook anything and I was still feeling a little at edge after the procedure that I had today was done.
After eating my take-out dinner,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done today as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have to deal with schizophrenic tendencies at the same time and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel only a little bit better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me in the wee early morning hours when another erection woke me up out of deep sleep.I turned to the left side of my bed and the erections softened and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to sleep.Thought I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation a little later on when it was daylight when lustful and sexual images crept up into my mind while I was still in bed and not fully awake at that point and I manipulated my genitals to these images,but I managed to stop myself before going too far.When I finally got up out of bed,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into these particular temptations and I really prayed hard to God for that forgiveness and after that,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that God has wiped the slate clean and forgotten my sins.Throughout the rest of the day,I really didn't have any more problems as the procedure that I had to endure later on in the day was on my mind for the rest of the day.I am still feeling a little at edge after the whole thing,but I am just glad that it is all over with.My mind wasn't on anything except the procedure and also,that sort of kept my mind clear of all things immoral.I am still going to feel a little irritation for the next few days while I urinate,but it will hopefully be gone within that few days.I am again asking that all of you continue in prayer for me.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going.They make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of folding up my laundry,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and before I showered,I made a couple of phone calls to messages that were left on my voice-mail.After that,I went into the shower to clean myself.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much to do today.I went to a local gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed into another area of the county that I lived in to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I leave nothing out.They both help in sustaining me whenever I do that.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,when I was still in bed,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals with lustful and sexual thoughts of men creeping up into my mind.Fortunately for me,I managed to stop myself from going further and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him with this latest fall.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I didn't want to fall again.I prayed all throughout the day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I asked God for the strength to fight and resist all of the temptations that were coming at me from all sides and I felt much stronger as I truly and totally believed and had faith that God and Christ both heard me.I am also again asking for prayers by all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts to keep up in prayer for me as I am still going through an emotionally rough time.I also ask that all of you to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rare.Don't be shy and leave something encouraging for me.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in hoping to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment to get my groin area checked out to see what could be causing my frequent bathroom going throughout the day and the pain that I also get in that area.As for the rest of the day,I haven't made any other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful as usual.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of things and after paying for them,I headed for a nearby Payless Shoe Source to check out what they had for sale and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit,changed into my casual clothes and fixed myself a quick lunch.After lunch,I did my personal PC work and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had a whole bunch of empty bottles that I needed to turn into the store.I headed over to a local supermarket to turn them in and it took me quite a while to get them all returned and get the money after collecting the receipts.After that was done,I headed for the nearby Target to check out their inventory of sneakers,for which I didn't find much.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the money that I received from the bottle returns at the Where's George site.After that was done,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church every Sunday always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.It can be pretty monotonous and tiresome at times.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel only a little bit better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get up out of bed and the erection started to soften as I was doing that.I walked for a bit and as I walked,the erection continues to soften and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted minimally throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies and to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect to the lusting and fantasies.I had to continually ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to fight and resist all of these urges and I did feel better after doing that.I felt much stronger and I also felt that God and Christ both heard me.I simply took it to God and Christ throughout the day and I tried not to fall even once.Though I have been doing that,I am again asking for prayers by all of you who follow my blog and read the posts on here to please keep praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and also motivate me to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have,which are connected to this terrible SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I quickly ate my usual quick breakfast and had a couple cups of cold coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and headed over to my monthly Men's Network meeting.
The meeting was wonderful.We watched another spiritual DVD and after the meeting was over,I headed over to a nearby post office to mail out an important bill payment.After that,I headed over to the local Sears when I got back into my hometown.After that was done,I headed over to the bank to withdraw some more money to pay a bill later on.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and I also registered the bills that I withdrew at the Where's George site.After that was done,I proceeded to do more of what I had to do.
I first paid the bill that I needed to pay locally at a local supermarket and after that,I went to a car dealership to see what prize that I won as a part of a promotional giveaway that they were doing.The prize was only a gift card for a local store and after that,I headed over to the local Big Lots to look around and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something that I forgot yesterday.After that,I went to another local supermarket to pick up one more thing that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries that I bought away and I relaxed and watched a couple of DVD's.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a day to day basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster,which never gets any easier.The struggle at times seems to get worse instead of better.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to God,talk about by putting it in his hands and ask him to help me get me through this in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone here when it comes to this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better,though my emotions can be topsy-turvy.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection and like yesterday,it didn't last very long.I sat up and I proceeded to get out of bed and while doing that,my genitals started getting soft.When I got up and started to walk a little,my genitals continued getting soft and when the erection had fully died down,I got back into bed and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did get tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies of other men.When these cravings and urges happened,I threw them all on God and asked him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after I was finished praying,I felt much stronger and knew that both God and Christ heard me and gave me what I asked for.I just kept throwing every temptation on God and Christ and I got a feeling of being stronger each time.I am also again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am still going through this very difficult emotional time.I am also again asking that all of you follow my blog and read the posts to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,with the exception of going to church,I have really nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
After meeting with my caseworker in the early afternoon,I headed out to do some much needed important stuff that I needed to do.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money and after that,I headed over to a hair place to get my hair done.After that was done,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to get some much needed grocery shopping done.After that,I headed over to yet another local supermarket to pick up a few more things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I registered all the bills that I withdrew at the Where's George website.I then relaxed and watched some TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I sat up for a while and I proceeded to get out of bed and the erection started to soften and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did get some minor temptations throughout the day,but was out and about much today.I stayed out for a while just getting things that needed to get done accomplished and hardly any sexual and/or impure thoughts of men didn't enter my mind.I kept busy throughout the day and though it still wasn't easy dealing and struggling with these temptations,though minor,I still had hardly any troubles.But just because I escaped today,I still have the next day because anything can happen tomorrow and the day after that and so on.I am again asking that all of you keep me in your prayers and to also please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires and feelings that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of my usual monthly Men's Network group and church on Sunday,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual spirituality group,but today,the usual group leader was on vacation,so the substitute leader and the group went for a short walk for much of the time and after we were finished,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after that,I dropped someone I knew off somewhere and then I headed for my mechanic's garage to check up on a coolant leak problem that I had.
The repair on the leak took only 20 minutes to fix.It was simply a shoddy return hose that had a hole in it.After the repairs were done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a short time with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished the rest of my personal PC work.After that was done,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I relaxed a little more.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It's bad enough that I have to struggle and endure with the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,but I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable and/or difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever I feel that this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that they are there to help keep me calm,serene and also,to make me feel just a tad more at ease.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning while still in bed by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and it lead up to ejaculation.I really felt miserable after falling short early this morning and after washing my hands when I got up out of bed,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for the fall.I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that my sins were not only forgiven,but forgotten.Throughout the day,I was still being tempted to act out by fantasies and lusting after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals while doing so.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all through the day and I kept asking for strength to fight and resist all of the temptations to act out in these ways came at me from all sides.I kept up in prayer as I didn't want to fall again like i did twice this week.I had to keep up in prayer all day to ask for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations that were coming at me.I always felt better and much stronger as I did that and I also felt that a big weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I am also asking that you express some encouraging words in the comments section on my blog.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rare.Please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I only ask these thing because both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I made a few important phone calls and after that was done,I did my personal PC work.I also got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda for today.
I first stopped over at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After that was done,I headed over to check up on a friend to see how they were doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It never gets easier.On certain days.I am up and feeling pretty good,while on other days,I am down and feeling not so good.Sometimes,it happens minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.The emotional roller coaster ride associated with BPD can be pretty monotonous and tiresome and at times,I wish that I didn't have to go through nor endure any of it.The worst part of my struggle is that at the same time,I also have schizophrenic tendencies.The hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia that I also struggle with makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I have to also put up with hearing things,such as voices calling out to me or negatively shouting at me and other sounds,such as hearing footsteps while I am walking and constantly turning around seeing nobody there.I never know how it will be day after day.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better and a little more at ease.Though I still struggle,God and Christ are both there taking the lead and that is a little reassuring.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up for a while and I proceeded to get out of bed and the erection slowly started softening.It was fully soft within a few minutes and when that happened,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I gave into a later temptation when I manipulated my genitals while looking at various sexual images online.I immediately stopped myself and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for looking at the images and also,for manipulating my genitals to these images.I felt better after that as I truly believed that God did indeed forgive me for sinning against him.I was again tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies and also,to manipulate my genitals alongside that.I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist all of these urges and after praying,I felt stronger as I truly believed that God gave me the strength.I also had faith that he heard me and that is what made me feel stronger.Though I am doing that,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with the terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards.As for the rest of the day,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Today,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed over to the agency where my weekly spirituality group is held to discuss some matters with him,including updating my employment resume.We met for about 20 minutes and after we were finished,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local kitchen for lunch and after I was finished,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and I talked with him for about half an hour.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and take it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel only a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I sat up and got out of bed to head for the bathroom,as I sensed that I had to go there.As I headed for there,the erection started to soften and after I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I headed back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting and to manipulate my genitals while doing so,but I took it to God in prayer and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations and I did feel much stronger as God and Christ both heard me and gave me the strength to fight and resist these temptations.The struggle with SSA gets tougher by the day and at times,the struggle can be very overwhelming.It is great that God and Christ are there to help give strength when asked to fight this terrible emotional condition.I still get tempted,at times,to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that particular temptation comes around,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather then feed that particular temptation,as I know that acting out on these desires in any way,shape or form will never give me what I truly want and also,what I truly need,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that goes with that gender identity affirmation.I have to continually keep in mind that acting out on these unnatural desires that I have will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is the identity that I am daily still trying to escape from and to continue to be free from.I am again asking that all of you continue praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I wok up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed over to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or sometimes,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is good to know that I am not alone in this particular struggle and it does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning by masturbating to sexual images of men that clouded my mind.Yes,there was lusting and fantasy involved as well.I really felt miserable and sad after falling this morning and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven for my sins.I am learning that day after day,the struggle with SSA never gets any easier.It gets tougher and tougher by the day.At times,I get so overwhelmed by these sexual images of men that it makes me feel that I am under way too much emotional stress.I don't know what keeps bringing up these things to my mind constantly,but I am sick and tired of them creeping into my mind so much.I really need to work on staying strong and really work on resisting all sorts of temptations that keep coming at me from all sides.I understand that being tempted in itself isn't sinful,but giving into any sort of temptation is sinful.I understand that our Heavenly Father only expects is to do the best that we can and I want to do that.I also want to do the right thing in God's eyes,but my sinful nature wants me to do the opposite.I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this terrible and stressful emotional time.I also ask that you please leave a positive word of encouragement or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Please pray for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have to see someone at the agency where the spirituality group is held to make some changes to my employment resume and to e-mail it as a file to a job developer.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.I also did a Holy Bible reading in front of the congregation today.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After the service was over,we commenced to the church's fellowship hall for a charity luncheon that was held to raise funds for someone in the congregation that was sick and needed money for treatments.
The charity luncheon was wonderful as well and after eating and some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to pick up a prescription.After paying my co-pay for it,I left and as I was leaving,I ran into an old schoolmate of mine and we talked for a few minutes.After she went into the store,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes.I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday morning always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult or unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This just shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel only a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I sat up for a while and proceeded to attempt to get out of bed and that is what made the erection soften.When my genitals were fully soft,I went right back to sleep.For at least today,I really wasn't tempted very much to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and I really wasn't tempted to manipulate my genitals to those images of men.I guess what contributed to that was that I kept busy with the fellowship with my fellow worshipers in fellowship at church and also,at the charity luncheon.The thoughts of sex with other men never entered my mind today and for today,I felt relieved that I didn't have to go through any of it.Though I did escape today,I have to keep in mind that tomorrow is another day and so is the day after that and so on.I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging comment or two.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and to also continue healing from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good,but quiet,day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't too much on my agenda for today.I only went to a couple of places where I had to do a couple of necessary things.
I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed over to a local bargain outlet store,but couldn't find what I was looking for.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good,but quiet,day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day,or sometimes,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in the particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me again in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection out of a deep sleep.I tossed and turned repeatedly,but that only made the erection throb even more.I sat up and proceeded to get up out of bed and that is what made the erection start to soften.I went back to sleep when my genitals were fully soft.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to fantasize and lust after other men and I also gave into the subsequent manipulation of my genitals while doing that,but I did stop myself before it went too far and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and after that,I did feel better as I knew that I was forgiven and my sin was forgotten by God.Throughout the day,I was tempted every time as the temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I was tempted to look at porn and also,to fantasize and lust after other men.Whenever these temptations come around,I also get tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I had to really pray hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all day as these terrible temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I had to keep up in prayer to God in his son Christ Jesus' name all day and I kept asking for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations.It is just that thoughts of impure and immoral sexual images of men keep creeping up into my mind and I really don't know how I can get them off of my mind.I don't want to think of anything sexual in regards to men,but lately,they have been coming into my mind and I just want them to go away and leave me alone.I was also tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I chose to stay home rather than feed that particular temptation as I know that any sort of sexual activity with other men won't give me the fulfillment that I truly want,but mostly need.Sexual activity with other men and also,lusting and fantasizing with other men will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is the identity that I am trying to distance myself from and disown.I hate that I have these feelings that are both unwanted and unnatural.I don't want to feel these feelings anymore,but I am still feeling them over and over day in and day out.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts here to please continue praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section of my blog.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for me as I could use some encouragement.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and also,make me even more determined to continue to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed as I had a few things planned,with one big thing happening this morning that was very important.
I met with a counselor at a local job placement organization where we discussed program basics and filled out some paper work and he said that the minute that he gets some paper work that I had to fill out at home that I had to send in by today,he can start looking into some jobs for me.I am now officially a client as of now and after the meeting,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after eating,I headed for a gas station to get some gas and after that was done,I headed over to a local K-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some money and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered the withdrawn bills at the Where's George site and after that was done,I headed back out to pay a couple of bills.
I paid the first bill at a local supermarket and after that was paid,I headed over to the post office to mail out the other bill.After that was done and as I was leaving the post office,I popped that paper work that I had to complete at home in the mail and I am hoping that it gets there by Monday.After that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed over to the drug store to pick up a couple of prescriptions.After paying the co-pay on those,I stopped at a local 7-Eleven to buy a bottle of mineral water.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or sometimes,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I can be up and feeling good one day/minute/moment and down and not so good the next day/minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the BPD emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia,such as hearing things and/or other noises that nobody else can hear other than me.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ,talk about it and I leave nothing out and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,though it didn't last very long.I simply sat up in bed and proceeded to get out of bed and as I did this,the erection started to soften and I headed for the bathroom as I had to go.Once I was finished in the bathroom,my genitals were fully softened and I went back to sleep.For the rest of the day,I didn't have any sexual thoughts of men nor any cravings to lust or fantasize.I had a pretty busy day and all the activity that I had to do today took my mind off of anything sexual.For today,nothing sexual with men came into my mind and that was good.Again,this was the result of keeping busy and just going along with the day.Though I did escape today,I have to keep in mind that tomorrow is another day and there will always be the days after that I have to also keep in mind.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up prayers for me and also,to please don't be and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and make me even more determined to overcome and heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I went over to a local kitchen and I was given a bag lunch,which I accepted and headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put a few things away and sat down to enjoy my lunch.I also heated up a bowl of soup to have alongside the bag lunch that I was given.After that,I called my neighbor and I helped her with something that she wanted to get done,which took an hour and half to finish.After that was done,I went back into the house to relax and finish the rest of my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be be from one day to the next,or sometimes,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from enduring the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in keeping me sustained.I am never alone when it comes to my mental illness struggles and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that the do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning when I manipulated my genitals to fantasies and lusting of other men and I wound ejaculating while doing that.This really made me feel terrible and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I did feel better as I truly believed that I was truly forgiven by God and that my sin was also forgotten by God.Throughout the day,I was still tempted to act out by fantasies and lusting after other men and I kept up in prayer the whole day as the temptations kept coming at me from all sides.Lately,images of men have been creeping into my mind and along with them,my mind has been preoccupied with images of myself performing particular sexual acts on them,mostly oral sex.I just want my mind to be cleared of these images and also,I want to think positive,healthy,wholesome and Christian thoughts of my fellow man and not impure and unwholesome sexual thoughts.I want to think of my fellow men as brothers only and not as possible sexual partners.These types of things are borne out of selfishness,greed and lust and I just don't want to think about them.Why these images and thoughts keep creeping up into my mind is something that I don't know as of yet.I want to reject these thoughts,but even when I do that,they come back.I am again appealing to all of you who follow my blog and read my posts regularly to keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time in my life and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors,but comments of any kind are rarely left in the comments section.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section as I could use some encouraging words right about now.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and struggle against this terrible SSA and make me even more determined to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have to meet with a counselor at a job placement organization in my hometown.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to the bank to deposit a check that was sent to me and after that,I decided to take a drive to find a particular place that I needed to look for as I was heading there on Friday.It is with a job placement office and I needed to find out where the place was so I would know where to go and how to get there.After finding the office,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult as I also have to endure the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult or unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and this does make me feel only a tad better.Thanks to both both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I tossed to my left and the erection softened pretty quickly.I went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men and today,for the first time in quite a while,I was tempted to go out and seek other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them.I ignored that temptation by simply driving home after finding the office that I have an appointment with on Friday.Day after day,the SSA struggle gets even more difficult and the unnatural desires to indulge in sinful sexual activity with other men also get stronger,because the temptation to do that gets stronger by the day.I was also trying to work on staying strong after falling yesterday morning.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts that I make to please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave comments.Please leave me an encouraging comment as I would really appreciate that.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and gives me more motivation to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and lunch at the local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had one really big thing on my agenda today.I had an appointment with a urology associates office in regard to the frequent bathroom going throughout the day and also,the pain in my groin area.After the appointment,which went well,we arranged another session where I have my groin area checked out via x-ray.After leaving the office,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This shows me that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation by masturbation early this morning,but this time,it was more on an emotional level than with lusting and fantasies,though that was a small contributor.I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive my sins and I did feel better as a result as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist the temptations that came at me from all sides.I felt better and much stronger after doing that and it did make me feel better.I am again asking for prayers by all of you who continue to follow my blog and read the posts.I am also again ask that you please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and also,motivates me to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward and onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much to do today.The only two things that I did was to first go to the public library to print something that I needed to print from my e-mail and after that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put what I bought away and for about half and hour,worked on paper work that I had to complete for my urology appointment tomorrow and for the job placement organization that I will be meeting with soon.After that,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward and onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I have to cope and deal with this emotional roller coaster ride day in and day out and at times,it can get pretty monotonous and tiresome.There are times that I wish that I didn't have to deal with this or even endure it,although I know that I have to,though I still wish that I didn't.Aside from the emotional ups and downs of BPD,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It's bad enough that I am enduring the BPD emotional roller coaster ride,but I also have to endure the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with both God and his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This one throbbed more than the previous ones that I have had.I sat up in bed and proceeded to get out of bed and that is what made the erection start to soften.I also headed for the bathroom as I had to use the bathroom anyway and when I was finished,the erection had fully softened and I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation upon arising by manipulating my genitals to lustful images of men and I also subsequently started to fantasize with the images and that prompted the genital manipulation.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning.Throughout the day,I was tempted to indulge in lusting and fantasizing with sexual images of men and to subsequently manipulate my genitalia with those images in my mind.I kept up in prayer to God all throughout the day whenever these sexual images of men flooded my mind and I asked God in his son Christ Jesus' name to give me strength to fight and resist these temptations as they came at me from all sides and I felt better and much stronger after that.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts here to continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with a urology associates office and I am hoping that this goes well.I have nothing else planned for the rest of the day.But I hope that whatever I choose to gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were as wonderful as usual.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow Christians,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to pick up a couple of prescriptions.After paying the co-pay on these,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes,I also did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church every Sunday morning always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.It can get pretty tiresome and also,pretty monotonous.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply put this struggle in the hands of both God and his son Jesus Christ,take it to them in prayer and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a mater of letting God and his son Christ Jesus take the lead and getting me through the difficulties of this double whammy of a psychiatric disability that I have.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for a while and proceeded to get out of bed and that is when the erection started to soften.I also walked to the bathroom and when I was finished in the bathroom,the erection had fully softened and I simply went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasizing with other men and also,to manipulate my genitals while lusting and fantasizing to those sexual images of men.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and kept asking God in his son Christ Jesus' name to give me strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations and I felt much stronger afterwards and I truly believed and knew that God and Christ both heard me.I felt better afterwards and that was great.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I am also asking that none of you be shy and please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.I continually ask these things because your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ