Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good,if uneventful,day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and since we were having a rainstorm today,which was a continuation of last night's torrential and terrible thunderstorm,I chose to stay home and take it easy for much of the day and also,catch up on some much needed work around the house and also,on some reading.I also popped a movie into the DVD player and I watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good,if uneventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.my moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and I ask him to help me endure and get through all of the negatives.I ask him in the mane of his son Jesus Christ for these things and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up for a while and chose to walk for a bit and as I did this,the erection started to soften and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation when I decided to get out of bed in the later early morning hours when I manipulated my genitals for the purpose of getting near/full erection and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,sexual images of men were clouding my mind at the same time.Fortunately for me,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him.I asked him to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I admitted everything to my Heavenly Father and I left nothing out.After I was finished praying,I felt better as I truly knew and believed that I was truly forgiven for my sins and that my heaven;y Father wiped the slate clean.I was still tempted pretty much throughout the day as I went through the rest of the day.Only this time,though it is still a work in progress,I had to let the unnatural sexual desires that I have that they don't own me.I have to stay strong and let them know that I own them and not the other way around.I kept up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father and I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to help me fight and resist all of these terrible temptations that were coming at me from all sides.I kept up in prayer and I continually asked my Heavenly Father for strength to help me fight and resist these temptations and after I was finished each time,I felt stronger and I truly believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.While I am doing this and will still continue to work on this as the days roll on,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I really need your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.They both help keep me going.They also strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,they motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to a local supermarket's customer service desk to pay on the electric bill.After that,I turned some bottles and cans in that had accumulated in the back seat of my car and after that,I headed over to a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up something that I really needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.As usual today,as it has been for the last few days,it was hazy hot and humid.I did everything in my power to try and stay cool,but I still sweated a lot and still felt hot.Right now,we are in the midst of a torrential and terrible thunderstorm.It is raining,thundering and windy.I was fortunate to have been in the house instead of being outside.Then again,after I did all that I had to do,I had really nothing else to do,but just stay in the house and take it easy.We are supposed to have rain tomorrow as well and I am just going to stay home and catch up on some much needed work that needs to be done around the house.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seemingly gets way too difficult for me to handle.Whenever this particular struggle tries to get the better of me,I simply pray about it and throw it on him as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through and to help me endure and they both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a calm and level plain.I am never alone in this struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation late last night when I manipulated my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect,but it lead to orgasm and subsequent climax.It was also to sexual images of men that clouded my mind and I gave into the fantasizing and lusting of them.I really felt miserable after that and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning.I also begged for his mercy as well as I was truly repentant.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning and again,I begged for his mercy.Though I did this,before I went to sleep last night,I talked with my Heavenly Father for over twenty minutes and I really poured my soul and myself out to him.I admitted everything that I had done and I left nothing out.I told my Heavenly Father everything that I had to tell him and after that over twenty minutes of prayer,I felt much better as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and actually understood me.I actually felt something while praying last night and it gave me a wonderful feeling of reassurance.I also slept better last night as well.While I have done that and still continue to do so,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts to please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I really need all of your prayers and your encouraging to help keep me going in this struggle.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and also,they make me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual on Sunday,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
I first went to my usual spirituality group and that went as well as expected.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after eating that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some money so I can pay my electric bill tomorrow.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered the money that I withdrew at Where's George and after that,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also managed to finish my personal PC work.I also had to put up with the hazy,hot and humid temps again for the third straight day.I am hoping that relief comes soon as I feel that we truly need it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through and keep me calm and they both help in sustaining me and keeping me on a very calm and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both mu Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation late last night when I manipulated my genitals to sexual images of men that were clouding my mind and I wound up ejaculating as well.I was really miserable when that happened and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ for sinning against him by giving into the immoral impulses that I had last night.I did sleep soundly for the rest of the night and nothing happened while I was sleeping,except waking up to another erection when the wee early morning hours were still upon the time.I also was still tempted through the day to continue indulging and I kept up in prayer as these temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I kept up in prayer and I kept asking my Heavenly Father for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations and I did feel stronger after doing that.I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me and also,I would appreciate some encouraging words of support in the comments section.I need both prayers and encouragement to help keep me going and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of paying the electric bill,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and spent the rest of the day trying to get through this intense heat and humidity that I and the rest of the hometown are enduring.It is hazy,hot and humid here in my neck of the woods.The temps are in the lower 90's,but with the humidity,it feels like that it was almost 100 degrees.I got dressed to get out and run an errand that I had to run,despite the fact that it was hazy,hot and humid.
I had only one thing on my agenda today.I had to go to a local store to pick up a few things and after paying for them,I headed over to a local McDonald's to get myself a vanilla cone and after having that in the coolness of the restaurant,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend was and how he was handling the heat and humidity and after a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my clothes and sat all day around the house in my underpants while fans were running continuously.I haven't endured this much haziness,heat and humidity in years.I simply sat around almost naked trying to stay cool,though I was sweating some during the day and as a result of that,I kept drinking water like if it was going out of style.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming and/or difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through the negatives of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with and they both help in sustaining me and on a calm and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and walked back and forth around the room until the erection died down and when it did,I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted a little bit during the day,but for most of the day,I simply concentrated on surviving this intense heat and humidity that I have been enduring and also,been sweating pretty much while concentrating on surviving.While the temptations haven't been coming up on me as much,I am still asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am still going through a rough time.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural desires that I have that are connected to this terrible SSA.Thanks again in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards.Aside from those things,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and as the morning went on,I got dressed up to prepare for my job interview today.I was really thrilled that I finally got a call to be interviewed for a job.The job placement counselor picked me up and we headed for the office where the interview was to be conducted.
The interview went great and the job placement counselor said that I gave very excellent answers.After it was over,he dropped me off at home and I got out of my fancy clothes and into my normal casual clothes as I had quite a few things to do today.
After dropping off some newspapers at a few houses,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a gallon of milk and after paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the milk in the fridge and I also helped my next door neighbor out with something and when I was finished,I went back into my house to relax.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling daily with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negatives of this particular struggle and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and didn't lay back down until my genitals softened and when they were,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I must say that for the first time in quite a while,I wasn't tempted as much as I have been in the last few days.I guess the enthusiasm of my job interview going good was what took my mind off of my SSA struggles and again,not much temptation today.Still,I am asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
Today,I got a call for a job interview that will be done tomorrow.I am looking forward to this and I am hoping that it will lead to something.I also let the job placement people know about this as well and I am hoping that they can help me out in anything during the interview.
I had a few things on my agenda today.I first went to see the nurse practitioner at the local hospital and I headed for there.
The session with her went great and after getting my prescription,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed over to the bank to withdraw a few dollars.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy while catching up on some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure and get through all the negative rigamarole of this double whammy of a psychiatric disorder that I struggle with and they both help in sustaining me.They also help keep me on a very calm and level plain.I feel a little bit better knowing that they are there leading the way.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get up and that is what made the erection start to soften and when it was fully soft,I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex fantasies and lusting.I was also tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping as sexual images of men were clouding my mind.I kept up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these terrible temptations came at me from all sides.I asked my Heavenly Father to give me strength to help me fight and resist all of these terrible temptations.I asked for this strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after I was finished praying,I felt stronger and more at ease as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and also,he gave me what I asked for.Though I have been keeping up in prayer to my Heavenly Father in regards to this particular struggle,I am again asking that all of you who continue to follow my blog and read the posts to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a difficult emotional period in my life and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular struggle and strength my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of my followers for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have an interview for a job and I am hoping that everything goes well.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local bargain closeout store to pick up a couple of things.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and did my personal PC work.When that was finished,I decided to take a drive around the city to see how everything was doing and when I couldn't find anything going on,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church on Sunday morning always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk to my Heavenly Father in prayer whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through all the negative emotions and emotionally stressful period that this type of psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not only sustaining me,but they also help keep me on a very calm and level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I got up out of bed and I headed for the bathroom as I had to use it.My genitals were fully softened after I was finished in the bathroom and I went back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men as sexual images of men tried to take over my mind.I prayed real hard to my Heavenly Father and I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations because they were very overwhelming.I asked my Heavenly Father for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible urges and I prayed real hard and after I was finished,I felt much better and also,much stronger as I knew and believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts to please continue to pray for me as I am going through this very difficult emotionally trying time.Please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as I also need some words of encouragement as well alongside your prayers.Your prayers and your words of encouragement both help keep me going in this particular struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of my followers for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of seeing the nurse practitioner,I have not made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and before doing my personal PC work,I decided to check out a block sale that was in the area where I lived.
I didn't find anything that I was hoping to look for,so I decided to head straight home and when I got home,I did my personal PC work and I decided to proceed with the rest of the day.
After putting a small amount of gas in my gas tank,I decided to head over to a Salvation Army thrift store in another area of the peninsula where I lived.I found a few things and bought them and after paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and decided to clean my bathtub as it really needed some cleaning.After that was finished,I relaxed and caught up on some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate constantly and I never know what to expect on how I will feel at any day,or at other times,at any minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father,the only one and true God,and his son,the Lord and savior,Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to get me through all the negatives that this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with gives me at times.They both help in not only sustaining me,but also help keep me on a calm and level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom as usual and I got up out of bed to use it and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex fantasies and lusting of other men and also,I was tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting then near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping to these negative sexual images of men.I prayed to my Heavenly Father and asked him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ and also,to help make me stronger than the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA struggle that I am still struggling with day after day.I needed to be strong so I wouldn't fall into sin like I did twice this week.I prayed real hard to my Heavenly Father as I didn't want to fall into sin and also,I didn't want to displease him by looking at things that I am not supposed to look at,which was what I was also tempted to do.I prayed real hard and really asked my Heavenly Father for strength to fight and resist these urges and after I finished praying each time,I felt much stronger and also,felt better as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for.Though I have been keeping up in prayer myself,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts that I write to please continue to pray for me as I am going through this rough emotionally trying time.My moods and/or emotions have been fluctuating between negative and frustrating things that have been happening in my life,such as my car failing the week before and also,the anxiety that I have been experiencing as a result of my niece's complicated medical problems and also,my stress and frustration over trying to find a job as I feel that I am not getting anywhere in my search for employment and I really need to find work as I am really desperate to find work.Please keep me in your prayers as I am going through this frustrating and stressful time that I am having,which is making my moods and/or emotions fluctuate constantly.I also ask that you don't be shy and leave me some encouraging words as I also need some words of encouragement alongside your prayers.Nobody who visits my blog leaves any comments,as I truly need some words of encouragement.Please leave me a word or two of encouragement alongside your prayers.Your prayers and your positive words of encouragement both help keep me going in this particular struggle and that makes me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the wounds that caused me to have these terrible unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of my followers for your continued prayerful support and your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I really don't have anything planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went over to my niece's house to pick up some of my laundry and after that,I dropped it off and I headed over to a local supermarket to turn in some cans and bottles that had accumulated in the back seat of my car and after that,I headed straight home to register all of the bills at the Where's George website and after that,I headed back out again to a local bargain outlet store to pick up a giant jar of pasta sauce and after paying for that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a gallon of milk and a few other things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed while doing some more personal PC work.I then relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming and/or difficult for me to handle.When it seems to try to envelope me and make me feel worse,I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the rigamarole of this particular struggle and they both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a calm and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and I headed for the bathroom,as I had to use it,and that helped soften the erection and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex fantasies and lusting after sexual images of men that were clouding my mind.I had to really pray hard to my Heavenly Father and I asked him for strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations that were coming at from all sides.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help keep me strong and to help me fight and resist all of these terrible temptations and I did feel better and much stronger after I was finished praying each time.I didn't want to fall into anything sinful again like i did this week and I wanted to show my Heavenly Father that I am serious about wanting to heal and overcome this terrible SSA.I am again asking that all of you please keep up in praying for me as I am going through this difficult and emotionally trying time as I really and desperately need prayers from all of my fellow supporters and strugglers.Please keep me in your prayers as I am going through this difficult time.I also ask that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to please offer some encouraging words in the comments section.They can be in the form of upbuilding with scriptures of something to help keep me going and to motivate me to keep up the fight.Your prayers and encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also increase my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to motivate me to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the upcoming weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I haven't got anything planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda for today.
I first went to my spirituality group and that went as well as expected.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished my personal PC work.When that was done,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be like from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I ask my Heavenly Father to help get me through the difficulties of this particular struggle,this psychiatric double whammy that I have,in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I fell twice within a fifteen hour period.Last night,I gave into temptation by masturbating and yes,there was lusting and fantasizing of other men involved and I manipulated my genitals while those images were flashing through my mind and later on in the early afternoon,I fell again by the same thing again.I masturbated on both occasions after the genital manipulation.On both of these occurrences,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning on both occasions and on the second fall,I asked for my Heavenly Father's mercy as I gave into the same thing again because I really felt terrible and worthless after that.I begged for my Heavenly Father's mercy to the point where tears fell from my eyes and I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him on both of these occurrences.I did feel better as I truly and totally knew and believed that I was truly forgiven for my sins and that my Heavenly Father wiped the slate clean and it gave me a pretty good feeling.These falls were terrible and I really felt bad after that,but I am forgiven and I am going to try and work on myself.Please fellow blog followers,I am again appealing to all of you to please keep praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional and trying time.I need all the prayers that I can get.I also could use some words of encouragement as I am going through this terribly emotional and trying time.Please leave me a word of encouragement or two in the comments section.Please do so as I am in desperate need of some verbal encouragement right now.I need to know that many of my fellow strugglers are behind me a whole 100% and I really could use the encouragement right now.Your prayers and your encouragement do indeed keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to motivate me to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.I need both prayerful and emotional support from positive encouragement from everyone who also struggle with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for being there and also,for all that they do as well as provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of returning some bottles that have accumulated in my back seat,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

July 10th

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work,had a quick,but light,lunch and got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things to do today.I cleaned out the back seat of my car and bagged quite a few loose bottles and cans that were in the back seat.It took me about fifteen minutes to do that and after that,I went back into the house to do some cleaning up here and there and after that was done,I relaxed and did a little bot of reading.
In the mid afternoon,I went over to my nieces house to babysit her kids for a few hours.I also had a light dinner over there as well.When my niece got home,I I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I watched a little TV and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply throw any burdens that this particular struggle can bring on my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ and ask them both to help get me through the rigamarole of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with and suffer from and they both help in sustaining me as well as keep me on a calm and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I started to sit up and get out of bed and since I had to use the bathroom,I headed over there and that is what made the erection soften and after I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and also,I was tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I prayed to my Heavenly Father constantly as these temptations were coming at me from all sides and I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges that were coming at me and after I was finished praying,I felt better and much stronger as I truly believed and knew that they gave me what I was seeking from them.It is just that I don't want to fall again like I did several days ago.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts that I write here almost every day to please continue in prayer for me as I am still going through a very emotionally difficult and trying time.Please keep up in prayer for me as I truly and desperately need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also ask that you leave an encouraging word or two for in the comments section also.I need some words of encouragement as I am also in desperate need of some emotional verbal encouragement.My blogs gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave anything as far as comments are concerned.I need some positive verbal encouragement as I really need to see that there are people like me who are also struggling and also want to support me in my struggle.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to motivate me to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ fr everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards.Aside from these things,I don't have anything else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

July 9th

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work as I awaited my niece to call me and when she did,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
After dropping off my niece's car at her place,we went to a local repair garage to pick up my car as the starter had to replaced.After that,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up something for lunch and after that,I dropped off some free newspapers at a few people's houses and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I finished my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and caught up on some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.Whenever this particular struggle seems to try to get me down and make me emotionally exhausted,I simply take it to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ and I ask them both to help get me through and endure all of these negatives and they both help in not only keeping me sustained,but also on a very calm and level plain.It shows that I don't have to struggle alone and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to walk a little and that made the erection soften and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I prayed real hard to my Heavenly Father as these temptations were really overwhelming.I prayed for strength and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations and after I was finished praying each time,I felt much better and also,much stronger.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts regularly to please continue in prayer for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.I need both your prayers and your positive encouragement.Your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement both help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

July 8th

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today,despite some setbacks.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,my niece called me saying that she was going to work and I accompanied her because I had to use her car again to do what I had to do.After she was dropped off at her work,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to pay a much delayed bill that I had to pay and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,my niece gave me a ring the minute that I was in the house and I had to go back out again to do a favor for my next door neighbor whose car battery was dead.I went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a gallon of milk for her and on the home,I stopped at the local Salvation Army thrift store and bought a few things and after paying for them,I headed over to my insurance agent's office to pay my car insurance for the month and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped the milk off at my neighbor's house and went in to do my personal PC work and listen to some music while I was doing that,but my niece called me and told me that she was feeling sick and needed to see her doctor immediately.I immediately got into her car and drove to where she was working and she took over the driving after that and her doctor told her to check in at the nearby hospital,which she did at it's emergency ward and after she entered the hospital,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dined on some Japanese raw fish delicacy that she was hoping to have for her lunch,but got sick to her stomach and that was both my lunch and dinner for the day as it was pretty filling.After that,I watched some classic TV reruns on TVLand and simply relaxed.I also managed to finish my personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day despite some setbacks.I also managed to get that recommended reading of the Holy Bible for the day done as well.I also heard from my niece and she informed me that one of her girlfriends was going to pick her up and take her home.I couldn't go out and drive because I had taken my medication and when it kicks in,I can't leave the house nor drive under the influence as it is against the law to drive under the influence of anything that can impair anyone's ability to operate any type of machinery.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure and get me through the difficulties and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I tossed and I turned,but that only made it throb.I started to get out of bed and I walked a little bit and that made the erection soften and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men as sexual images of men were clouding my mind.I was also tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I was extremely vulnerable as the negative things that we happening to me today with my niece getting sick and getting worried about her as a result of her being sick.I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed for strength to help me fight and resist these temptations and I also said a few words on behalf of my niece as well.I felt much better and much stronger after praying as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ heard me and gave me what I asked for.While I have been doing that,I am again asking for all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am going through this really difficult emotional time as I need all the prayers that I can get.I also need some encouraging words by my followers.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.Please pray for me and please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and they also make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

July 7th

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the morning's worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.I also did a reading from the Holy Bible today in front of the congregation.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into a pair of lounge pants.I had no place to go for a while and I relaxed and did my personal PC work.I also relaxed and listened to some music.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I went to pick up my niece from where she was working.After she dropped me off at home,I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride that at times gets very complicated.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure and get through this.They both help in not only sustaining me,but also to help keep me on a normal level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up in bed and sensing that I had to use the bathroom,I got out of bed and headed for the bathroom.As I did that,the erection started to slowly soften and when I was finished in the bathroom,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men and also,I was tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I kept up in prayer to my heavenly Father throughout the day.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations that kept coming at me from all sides.I prayed really hard for this and when I was finished praying each time,I felt much stronger each time as I knew and truly believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I really need prayers real bad as I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also could use some words of encouragement in the comments section as I really need some encouragement right now.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rare.I need both your prayers and your encouragement.They both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

July 6th

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much to do today as a result of me not having my car on the road.My niece worked for much of the day and I didn't get the car until the mid afternoon.When I did,I had to go out and do a little bit of shopping that I had to do.I had to get some personal stuff that I needed and after I was finished,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed for a while and also did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It never gets any easier to deal with.I am always on an up and down ride in regards to my emotions and my emotional make-up.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me get through the all the negatives of this particular double whammy of a psychiatric disability that I suffer from.They both help in sustaining me and also,to keep me on a normal level plain and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I started to sit up and proceeded to get off the bed and that is what made the erection soften.After a few minutes,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I did give into a later temptation by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.There was also some lusting and fantasizing with images of men involved.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I really was sorry for what I had done.I pleaded to my Heavenly Father and asked him to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ for my sins as I really was sorry for sinning and I did feel better as I truly knew and believed that I was truly forgiven for my sins.I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father all day and asked him to keep me strong in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I didn't want ti sin again and I asked my Heavenly Father for strength to help me fight and resist these urges that were coming at me from all sides and I did feel stronger after I finished in prayer to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Christ Jesus.Though I am now really keeping up in that,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts that I post here to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional period as a result of what happened on Wednesday when my car's starter mechanism went out.Please keep me in your prayers and also,I am again asking that all of you don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets quite a few visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as I truly and desperately need some encouraging words.Your prayers and encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

July 5th

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed quickly to proceed with the rest of the day.
After dropping my niece off at work using her car,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some money and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the bills that I had withdrawn and headed back out again to pay a couple of bills.One of them had to be mailed while the other I paid in person.After that,I headed straight home to pay my phone bill over the phone and after that was done,I headed out to pick up my niece from work.
After she dropped me off,I headed back into the house and I stayed there for the rest of the day as I had really no place to go since I still haven't gotten my car back on the road as of yet.I know that it will be a while,so I'll just have hang in there.Later on,my niece dropped off some sunburn relief spray.I also did more personal PC work.
After eating.I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.Today,I was marginally better as things are now starting to gradually improve.I will feel better once my car is back on the road and I am driving again to do the things that I have to do.Though I am feeling marginally better,I am still also dealing with the schizophrenic tendencies that I also have alongside the symptoms of BPD.It is never an easy thing to deal with.I have a double whammy of a psychiatric disability and it gets even more difficult to deal with by the day.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me get through the rigamarole of my psychiatric disability and they both help in sustaining me and keeping me level.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I started to sit up in bed and I got up to head for the bathroom and that is what made the erection soften and when I walked back to bed,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies with other men and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/full erection and/or to point of orgasm and stopping.I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father all day and asked him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I asked him for strength to help me fight and resist all of these temptations as I didn't want to fall again like I did this week a couple nights ago.I did feel better and much stronger after doing so.Though I have been doing this,I am again asking that all of you continue to please pray for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,to please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I am in desperate need for prayer and also,for some words of encouragement.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.I need both prayers and encouragement.They both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and to also continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual on Sunday,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Happy 4th To All Americans

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a little bit improved day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did much of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
For much of the day,I went out and did my grocery shopping and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and I started to get ready to go to have dinner with somebody who invited me over and when the time had come for me to go,I headed over that and I made it there despite some heavy traffic that I encountered getting there as a result of this being the 4th of July holiday.
We had some pizza and chicken wings for dinner and after we were finished,we had some small talk and when he told me that he was going to rest for a while,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put on some music,took my medication and finished my personal PC work.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.Overall,a little bit improved day over yesterday,though not much different.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.This time around,my moods have been fluctuating quite a bit.This is the result of what has been wrong with my car and I am really feeling pretty much at edge and also,I am really feeling the negatives of what I am going through psychiatric disability wise.The schizophrenic tendencies have also been striking me pretty hard as well.I have been hearing so much around me that it is to the point where it is beyond insane.In almost another week,I have to see the nurse practitioner at the local hospital and I will be explaining this to her when the day comes.I now have to work on keeping my therapy sessions in check as to try not to miss them like I accidentally missed my therapist appointment recently.I am also going to rely heavily on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ to make sure that I stay sustained,stabilized and on a more level styled plain.If they can get me through this negative time,I will be extremely and positively thankful to both of them.I am going to need all the help that I can get from my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation during the wee early morning hours by masturbating to lustful and fantasy styled images of men.I actually manipulated my genitals to the images and I wound up ejaculating.After cleaning myself from that,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I was truly sorry and repentant for my actions.I did feel better after that,but for much of the night,I had a difficult time trying to get to sleep as a result of what went on with my car and the starter problems and I was really worried about what could happen if it stays in the same place for too long a time.I did manged to doze off without realizing it and though I did have an erection later on as the wee early morning hours were winding down,but this didn't last very long.I now have to work on staying close to my Heavenly Father and his son Christ Jesus in prayer so I won't fall again.I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and read the posts.Please continue to pray for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and struggle and they both make me more determined to continue in my journey to overcome and heal from this terrible SSA as I really need many people to support me in this struggle as I can't go it alone.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section and also,please continue to pray for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

July 3rd

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty so-so day today.
Today,I woke up in mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to a spirituality group at the place where the groups are at as tomorrow,the group place will be closed in observance of the holiday on the 4th tomorrow.
The group meeting was wonderful and after it was over,I was going to do a little bit of grocery shopping,but ran into some problems.
My car wouldn't start and I tried repeatedly to get it going,but nothing.I called my niece and she sent her former step-father to help,but he couldn't get it going either.We concluded that it could something wrong with the starter mechanism,such as the starter itself,or the starter cellnoid,or it could be a blown fuse of a starter relayer wire.He dropped me off at home as I had to abandon my car at the parking lot there and I also had to let the bank,which was in the same building where the group place.know about this so they wouldn't have my car towed away.
My niece is loaning me her car until my car is back on the road and I went and did the grocery sopping that I had to do and it was great to get it all done.I went to the local Super Wal-Mart to get some stuff and at another local supermarket for more.After all of that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and finished my personal PC work.
After eating a light dinner,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty so-so day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to tale my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I ask them to help me endure and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to walk out of my room and the erection started to soften.After a while,my genitals were soft and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted pretty much throughout the day as the stressful things that were happening to me made my SSA skyrocket.I kept close to my Heavenly Father in prayer and kept asking him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep me strong and to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations.After praying,I did feel better and also much stronger.I am again asking that all of you keep up in prayer for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Both you prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and motivate me to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I got invited out to dinner at a friend's house.That is all that I have planned for tomorrow.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

July 2nd

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have too much to do today.I went out to drop off some free newspapers to people that I know within my hometown.I also turned in a small amount of bottles and cans that I had in the back seat of my car.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the money that I had gotten for the bottles and cans that I turned in at the Where's George site and after that,I headed for a local Dollar Tree store to buy something I really needed at the last minute and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did a little bit of reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My emotions are always on an up and down scale and I never know how they will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk to my Heavenly Father about this particular struggle and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure these issues that at times,can try to get me down and make me emotionally exhausted at times and they both help in sustaining me and also,help keep me on a normal level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up for a while and since I sensed that I had to go to the bathroom,I headed for there and the erection started to soften as I headed for there.After I finished in the bathroom,at which time,my genitals were fully soft,I headed right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies of other men and they were really strong.I had to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist all of these temptations that were coming at me from all sides.I prayed really hard to my Heavenly Father and I asked him for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations.I didn't want to sin against my Heavenly Father as I didn't want to displease him.After I was finished praying each time,I felt much better and also,felt much stronger as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this rough and difficult emotional time.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayers and your encouraging words.My blog gets quite a few visitors,but comments are rarely left for me in the comments section.Again,I need prayers and encouraging words from all of you really desperately.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and also provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of me attending a Wednesday afternoon spirituality group as a result of there being no group Thursday as a result of it being the 4th of July holiday,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

July 1st

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in mid morning and I showered.After showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned for today,though most of it was at home.
I had some more cleaning up that I had to do around the house and that is what I did for most of the day.I simply cleaned up here and there around the house and after that was done,I relaxed and did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I have a very complicated emotional system where my mood can be up and good one day or minute/moment and down and not so good the next day or minute/moment.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles,alongside my SSA struggles,even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply have my Heavenly Father take over and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the worst of this psychiatric double whammy that I have and they both help in not only sustaining me,but also help keep me on a relatively calm and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for being there and for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the we early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up for a while and I didn't lay back down until the erection had fully softened.It was slow going,but the erection did soften and when my genitals were fully soft,I laid back down and went right back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies of other men.The burning lust that I had within me was starting to burn again as it did the last few days.I really had to pray hare to my Heavenly Father and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations and also,to help me control this burning lust that I had within me.I prayed really hard and again,asked for strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations and also asked my Heavenly Father that he removed the burning lust that was within me if that were possible and I felt much better and much stronger as I finished praying as I truly believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me the strength that I asked for to help me fight and resist all of these temptations.While I have been doing that,I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up prayer for me as I am going through this difficult and trying emotional time.I also ask that all of you please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as well.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rare.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as I really could use some encouraging words right now.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going and also,they make me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA that I struggle with and also,they motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for being there and also,for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up quickly to head for church for an outdoor service and brunch afterwards.
The outdoor service was wonderful.The brunch afterwards was also wonderful as I had some wonderful fellowship with many of my fellow worshipers.After it was all over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and into a pair of lounge pants.I did my personal PC work and after I was finished with that,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.I also did a little bit of reading as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church each Sunday always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing with the symptoms and the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD on a daily basis.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I talk often about my BPD/Schizophrenia struggles with my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negatives and rigamarole of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I have and they both help in keeping me sustained and a little more at ease.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed as I had to use the bathroom and that made the erection start to soften.My genitals were fully soft once I was finished in the bathroom and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out with lustful images of men and to fantasize with these lustful images.I also had the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I also had lust burning inside of me.It was really terrible and I was stuck in the middle as to what to do.I also had the temptation to look up pornography online.I got away from the computer and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations and also,for strength to fight and resist the burning lust that was within me.I asked my Heavenly Father to help keep me strong and to help me fight and resist all of these things.I kept up in prayer until the temptations and the lust had dissipated.I felt better after doing that and I also felt more at ease and better yet,I felt much stronger after praying to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I truly believed that they heard me and I received what I needed from my Heavenly Father and he gave me all that I asked for and needed in the name of his son Christ Jesus.While I have been keeping up in prayer,I am also asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,I ask that none of you who follow my blog be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Don't be shy and afraid to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.Please leave me something encouraging in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue the fight against this terrible SSA that I struggle with and also,to motivate and inspire me to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA that I struggle with and also,to also motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and also provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ