Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I woke up this morning with a scratchy sore throat.I took a few throat drops that I had throughout the day,but nothing was working.I had only a few things on my agenda for today,so I decided to get these done.
I first went to a local supermarket to turn in some bottles and cans that had accumulated in the back seat of my car and that I had put into garbage bags.After collecting the money for these,I headed over to a local McDonald's to get a nice cold vanilla ice cream cone to help cool down my scratchy throat.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the bills that I had at the Where's George site.After that,I decided to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I went back out to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things for my sore throat.I picked up a bag of throat drops and a bottle of throat spray.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I took my psychiatric medication and sprayed my throat with the throat spray.I also put pajamas on as I stayed home for the rest of the day.A little later on,I sucked on a throat drop.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.Tonight,I am still dealing with the depression that I had from Saturday,though it is not as bad as it was then.Still,I am dealing with it and I am hoping that it lifts soon.I am also still dealing with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that is making both my BPD struggles and the depression even more difficult.I will be relying more heavily on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ throughout the week as I am still going through a very tough period in my life right now.I am still in a very difficult emotional period and I need all the help that I can get from my Heavenly Father,his son Jesus Christ and from all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts.Please continue to pray for me as I am still going through some very difficult emotional issues right now.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayers and positive verbal encouragement from all of you.Don't be shy.If you visit or have come to my blog in curiosity,please leave me some positive words of encouragement.They both help keep me going.They really help in a lot of ways.Thanks to all of you for your positive words of encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,since I kept busy throughout the day,I had really no problems in that area today.But still,keep up your prayers for me and your positive verbal encouragement.I need both of these things in more ways than one.I will also keep up in prayer to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ as well.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,though I am still feeling down.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up real quickly and I headed over to the church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.For a change of pace,the pastor had us open up a copy of the Holy Bible and have us read a verse or two from the Gospel of Luke chapter 16.It is what the pastor based his sermon on and it was great.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and I relaxed while doing my personal PC work.After that was done,I headed over to a friend's house for dinner as I really needed the company.
The dinner was wonderful.After we talked for a while,I left and headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my clothes and into pajamas as I was staying home for the rest of the evening.I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still feeling down as a result of the one year anniversary of my mother's death yesterday.The depression that I felt transferred over to today.I am still feeling pretty down about my mom being gone.Though it has been a year since her death,I am still feeling the affects.I know that I will never stop missing her,but her death is still as fresh a year later as it was when it initially happened.I guess that it will always be that way,though I wish that it didn't have to be.I am simply hoping that the depression will pass soon and I can get back to my life.I am still going to continue living and try to enjoy my life while I still have it,which is something that my mother would want me to do.She would want me to simply continue living my life and move on,which I am doing,though I still feel my mother's absence.I have taken my medication at the time that I am supposed to take it and within a few hours,it will be kicking in and I will be feeling tired enough to go to bed and go to sleep.I am also hoping that I will sleep better tonight as I had a tough time sleeping last night as a result of it being one year that my mom died.I am also going to continue my therapy.This week,I am going to have to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ to help get me through this week.I am also having to rely on them to get me out of the depression that I am feeling right now.I know that I will get out of this soon.I still hate it that I am in it,though I do know that I can help feeling the way that I feel right now.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I will start talking about them when I am feeling better.Since I kept busy today,I had no problems with being tempted,but I know that there is the new week ahead.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me as I still need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as I still need your words of encouragement.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayers and encouraging verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of turning in cans and bottles at a local supermarket and picking up a prescription refill of my psychiatric medication,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits and that I feel better within the coming new week.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I watched a little TV and did my personal PC work.I also did a little bot of cleaning up around the house.
Today,I was at home much of the time as a result of it being a wet and rainy day.I also wasn't feeling too well as today marks it one year that my mom passed away.I was feeling a little depressed today as a result of this being the one year anniversary of her death.I am still adjusting to the loss and her absence.I also still find it hard to believe that she is no longer here.I miss her and I know that I always will.I am still feeling lonely as a result of her not being here.It was great to have her around as I had someone to talk to,but now,I am feeling alone and depressed as today,it is the one year anniversary of her death.
I tried to cope and move on with the day the nest way that I know how.I simply cleaned up here and there around the house.After that was done,I popped a video tape in the VHS part of my VCR/DVD combo and relaxed.
After my evening meal,I watched some more TV and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,for strength to help me endure through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with on a day to day basis.As a result of my prayers,I feel much calmer and more sustained.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation this morning by masturbating and there was lusting and fantasizing with other men involved with this as well.I really felt miserable and terrible after giving into this temptation and sinning.I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ for sinning.After my prayer,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that my Heavenly Father wiped the slate clean.I really hate that I am struggling with this terrible SSA and most of the time,I wished that I didn't struggle with it.I wished that I felt like a man.I mean,I wish that I can feel the way that a man is supposed to feel.Instead,as a result of my SSA struggles,I feel the opposite way.I am in really desperate need of prayers today.I am still going through a very rough and difficult emotional time and since this is the one year anniversary of my mother's death,it is actually getting worse as a result of that.I am feeling depressed and I am still feeling the absence of her and that is making my SSA struggles really difficult for me.Please pray for me and also,I would really appreciate some very encouraging and heartfelt words in the comments section.I need both very desperately.Please pray for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Both your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement do help out a lot and they both also mean a lot to me.Please pray for me and don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have church as usual.I am also invited out to dinner tomorrow at a friend's house and I am looking forward to that.I will also be relaxing and taking it easy when I get home afterwards.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ

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Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned for today.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,which went as well as planned.After that group was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch.After having lunch,I headed out to do a few errands.After that errands were done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mind was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did some more personal PC work and I got dressed up in dress clothes as I had a job interview that I had to go to.
I think that the interview went well and after it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my casual clothes and headed out to run a few more errands.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and heated up my evening meal and did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I have.They both hope in sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate during the wee early morning hours came at me when I was awakened by yet another erection.I headed for the bathroom as I had to use it real bad.As I headed for there,my genitals started to soft and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft.I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted,though minimally,throughout the day as sexual images of men did cloud my mind.I stayed out for much of the day running my errands and concentrating on my job interview and that took my mind off of sexual stuff with men.I kept busy and that helped in more ways than one.Though I escaped today unscathed,I am still asking for prayers by all of my followers as I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also need some encouraging word in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments of any kind.Please leave me some positive verbal encouragement.They,your prayers and verbal encouragement,both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They help strengthen both my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Please pray for me and share some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section as I really need both of these things.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a job interview in the early afternoon,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda for today.
I was out for much of the day running errands and seeing that much personal stuff was getting done.I went to a couple of stores to pick up a few things that were needed and after that was done,I paid a friend a visit and talked with them for a while.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I dripped off a few newspapers at a few people's houses and at one of them,I had a talk with the guy who lived there,another friend,as he was taking out his trash,which I helped him with.After talking with him,I finished the job of dropping off the newspapers and headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed and did a little more personal PC work.
After eating,I popped a movie in the DVD player and I watched it for a while.After that,I simply relaxed for the rest of the evening and took it easy.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,for strength to help me endure through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in keeping me sustained and on a much calmer level plain.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and I got out of bed and headed for there.That made the erection start to soften.When I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.Only this time,since I was out in the community,it really wasn't that bad.I stayed out and about and I kept busy.This kept my mind off of anything sexual with other men and kept me occupied.It took my mind off of sexual stuff with other men and that was good.Though I escaped unscathed,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog to please continue in prayer for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Please continue praying for me.I also ask that none of you be shy and please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.You may not realize this,but your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They both help strengthen both my motivation to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and a scheduled job interview,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work real quickly and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.Before I set out to do what I had to do,I got a phone call for a job interview at a local department store for Friday afternoon.After that,I headed out to do what I had to do.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up a box of cereal.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a gallon of milk.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the milk in the fridge and the box of cereal in the cupboard.After that,I went back online to make a list of places that I applied to for a job to share with my new job placement counselor so I could call her and leave a message on her voice-mail.After that,I just took it easy for a while and watched a movie or two.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.Lately,as a result of my job search and getting the same cold reception,which is getting interviews with nobody hiring me to give me a chance,I have been on a down spiral as my self confidence and self esteem are getting lower.Though I am still putting the applications in for work online and on paper,my confidence is still getting low and I am hoping that my latest interview will lead to me being hired.I really want to work and I also like to work.My schizophrenic tendencies are also contributing to this making my BPD struggles even more difficult and also,making my SSA issues going from bad to worse.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask my Heavenly Father,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help me endure through the negative affects of this particular struggle that I have,which is a difficult psychiatric double whammy.I pray for the strength to get me through.They both help in sustaining me and also,keeping me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am getting tempted to indulge in same sex fantasies and lusting after other men.I was also tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when yet another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I had to really get up out of bed and walked around nervously as this current erection was a throbbing one indeed.I headed for the bathroom as I had to use it and that made this throbbing erection soften.When I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex sexual fantasies and lusting after other men.I stayed out in the community for much of the day shopping and just staying busy with what I had to do.It kept my mind off of all things sexual.I didn't have much at all today as I went through the day.While I went through the well enough,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through a very difficult emotional time right now.Please continue praying for me.Please also leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your positive words of encouragement.They do both help in many positive ways.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also both help strengthen my motivation to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and my motivation to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I connected with this terrible SSA.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as I really need some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the last morning and I showered quickly.I was hoping to wake up earlier in the day,but wound up oversleeping as a result of me having a difficult time trying to get to sleep last night.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did only a small portion of my personal PC work and after that,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
For much of the day,I had a terrible screeching headache.I had to take two headache powders to get rid of the pounding.As a result of that,I took in too much caffeine and I wound up urinating through the early afternoon.
Today,I had an appointment with the nurse practitioner and I headed for her office at the local hospital.
The session with her went well.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a lounge suit and I finished my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched an episode of a classic TV show on one of my DVD sets.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles,alongside my SSA struggles,even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help me endure through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in sustaining me and they help keep me on a much calmer level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I sat up and I sensed that I had to use the bathroom.I headed for the bathroom and that made my genitals soften.When I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in sexual fantasies and lusting after other men.The urges were really overwhelming.I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer.I asked him for strength to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges.I asked him for the strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed and prayed real hard.I felt much stronger after praying as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave what I had asked for.I am again asking all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me.I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also need some positive verbal encouragement as well.Please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.They both help out in a lot of ways.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help strengthen both my determination to continue overcoming SSA and my motivation to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with the members,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes.I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I headed out to do a few personal stuff that I needed to do.
I spent out much of the day just getting things that I needed to get done accomplished.After it was all done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got into a lounge suit and watched a couple of movies that I popped into the DVD player.I also had dinner while watching one of them.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help me endure through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I have.I ask for strength and for help to get through it all.I feel more sustained and much calmer and level.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection,though it didn't last long.I had to use the bathroom,so I got out of bed and headed for the bathroom.My genitals were fully soft when I was finished and after that,I went back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted minimally throughout the day to indulge in sexual fantasies and lusting after other men.I stayed out for much of the day and kept my mind on what I was doing out in the community.It took my mind off of everything sexual and it was good.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up in prayer for me while I am going through this very difficult emotional time.I desperately need all the prayerful support that I can get from all of you.I also ask that you please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support.Prayers and encouraging verbal support do work in many ways and they give positive benefits.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They both help strengthen both my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and continued positive emotional encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my appointment with the nurse practitioner at the local hospital,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and watched a little TV.I had trouble getting to sleep last night and I went back to sleep for a couple more hours.After getting up,I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things to do today.I stopped in on a friend to see how he was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few hygienic stuff that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff away and I watched a movie that I placed into the DVD player.I also at dinner while watching the movie.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help me endure through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation late last night when I masturbated.I had a difficult time getting to sleep last night as the anxiety that I have been feeling as a result of not being able to land a job as of yet.My job search has been making me anxious and my self confidence is getting very low.I have been getting the same old cold reception.I have had four interviews,but nobody has hired me as of yet.All of this made me lose sleep and I wound up giving into temptation bu masturbating.I also gave into this again during the mid morning again and on both occasions,I felt pretty miserable.On both occasions,I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him.I asked him for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I was really miserable for sinning against him.I really felt bad and I poured my sol out to him and after praying,I did feel better as I knew and truly believed that I was truly forgiven.I went on with the rest of the day feeling better knowing that I was forgiven for my sins.I really need to work really hard in fighting and resisting these overwhelming urges.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex fantasies and lusting after other men.I decided ti stay busy through the day as I ran all of my errands and kept busy with them.Fellow blog followers and readers of my posts here,I am asking for all of you to please continue praying for me.Please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.My SSA struggles,combined with my lack of success in trying to find a job,have really been taking a toll on me and have been giving me a very rough emotional time and also,stress has also been building up within me.Please continue praying for me as I really desperately need your prayers.I also need your positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.Please leave me some words of encouragement in the comments section.I need both prayers and words of encouragement.I am in desperate need of both.They both help keep me going in this fight and struggle.They also continue to help strengthen both my determination to overcome this SSA and my determination to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

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Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed quickly and headed over to my Thursday morning spirituality group.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for some lunch and after eating,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas.After that,I did a little bit more of bottle and can hunting.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did my personal PC work.Since it rained for much of the day,I stayed home and watched a DVD or two in the DVD player.
After eating,I watched a movie of two that I popped into the DVD player.I also did some more personal PC work afterwards.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him for strength,in the name of his son Jesus Christ, to help me endure through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in sustaining me.They also help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when yet another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,so I got up and headed for the bathroom.This made the erection start to soften.My genitals were fully soft once I was finished.I went right back to bed and to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men.Throughout the day,sexual images of men clouded my mind and that created the temptations to lust and fantasize.I simply turned to my Heavenly Father in prayer.I asked him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges that were very overwhelming.I prayed real hard and left nothing out.I threw everything on him and asked for that strength to help me fight and resist these urges.After I was finished praying,I felt better and much stronger.I knew and truly believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I had asked for.Though I have been doing this.I am asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that all of you please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your positive words of encouragement.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They both strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA,and my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I was out of the house for much of the day.I had so many errands to run.I first headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things that I needed.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up several other needed things.After that,I headed over to another Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple more things.After that,I dropped off several free newspapers at a few people houses.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed for a bit.It was a very hazy,hot and humid day and I had the fans going while relaxing to cool off.
After eating,I watched a few classic TV episodes from one of my DVD sets and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD,including it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride,on a one day at a time basis.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to give me the strength to endure through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I have.They both help me in keeping me sustained,but also on a much calmer and level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up for a while and I didn't lay back down until the erection had softened.When my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in sinful lusting and fantasizing of other men as sexual images of men clouded my mind.Fortunately for me,it wasn't too bad as I was out running my errands for the day and that took my mind off of my SSA struggles.I didn't think about these struggles for the whole day as I kept busy with my important personal stuff.It was wonderful.Though I escaped unscathed,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me.I really need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayerful support and positive verbal encouragement.Prayers and positive verbal support help out in many ways.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also strengthen both my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had only a couple of things on my agenda for today.I had to go to a local garage and get my oil changed.After that was done,I headed to the local city school district office to vote in the primary today.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I decided to do more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and I throw it on him as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to help me endure through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I have.I also ask him for the strength to help get me through it all.They both help in sustaining me.They also help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom.I headed for the bathroom and that made my genitals start to soften,though it was slow going.When I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies of other men.Throughout the day,sexual images of men kept clouding my mind repeatedly.I really had to pray really hard to my Heavenly Father for the strength to fight and resist these urges as they kept coming at me from all sides.I asked him for that strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges.I asked for strength to help me fight and resist as these urges kept coming at me.After I was finished,I felt better and also,much stronger.I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and that he gave me what I asked for.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep in praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Please continue to pray for me as I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also ask that you please leave me some words of encouragement in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.Please pray for me and also,please leave some encouraging words in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They strengthen my determination to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA.They also strengthen my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and since today was a chilly day,I decided to simply stay home and take it easy for much of the day.I also managed to get some much put off cleaning up around the house done.
I relaxed for much of the day.I decided to simply put in a few more job applications online and I am still hoping for the best.After that,I decided to watch a couple of DVD's.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPS struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.I ask for strength to help me through.They both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I had to really use all of my strength to help me fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I got up out of bed and proceeded to head for the bathroom and that made the erection start to soften,though it was slow going.After I was finished in the bathroom,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men throughout the day.I had to contend with sexual images of men clouding my mind and trying to envelope me.Yes,they were coming on strong and the urge to act out on them was very overwhelming.I had to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer and pray for strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges.I asked him for that strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed very hard for that as I didn't want to sin against my Heavenly Father by giving into these terrible temptations.After I finished,I felt much stronger and I knew and believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.While I did that throughout the day today,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I need your prayers.I also need your encouraging words in the comments section.Please continue praying for me.Please leave me some positive encouraging words in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.They both help keep me going in this fight and struggle.They help strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also help strengthen my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of getting an oil change done,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up quickly and I headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship after the service,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes.I did my personal PC work and decided to go out and get some much needed grocery shopping done.
I went to three different stores to do my shopping.I went to two local supermarkets and the local Super Wal-Mart.After I was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I fixed my evening meal.While eating and after I was done,I watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.I ask my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to help me endure through all of the negative affects and they both help in sustaining me.They also help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last long.I sat up and proceeded to head for the bathroom and that made my genitals start to soften.When I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted through the day,though minimally,to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.But today,it wasn't much of a problem as I kept myself busy with what I had to do.I simply did my grocery shopping and that took my mind off of anything sexual.It didn't cloud my mind and that was great.Though I escaped today unscathed,I am still going to ask that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I need your prayers.I also need your positive words of encouragement in the comments section.They both help in many positive ways.Please pray for me and leave me some words of encouragement in the comments section.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They help strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also help strengthen my motivation to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

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Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda for today.
The most important thing on my agenda was that I had to see my therapist today.I went over to my therapist's office as I had a some things that I needed to talk about.
The sessions went well.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up something that I would have for dinner.After that,I headed over to the post office to mail out something important.After that,I headed over to the local Sears to pay a bill.After that,I stopped at a nearby supermarket to pick up a few things.After that I headed over the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few more things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the stuff that I bought away and paid another bill over the phone.After that,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I just put into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and throw it on him as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.It is a very difficult struggle in itself and the ups and downs of this are never pleasant at all.After praying,I feel much better as I feel sustained and on a much calmer and level plain.It does make me feel a little bit better that I am not alone here in this particular struggle.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get up and walk and that made the erection soften.Though it was slow going,my genitals fully softened and I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to fantasize about and lust after other men.Throughout the day,sexual images of men tried to cloud my mind.I had to really keep up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father when these images kept coming at me mentally.I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist all of these images and also,I asked for strength to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges as they kept coming at me from all sides.I prayed real hard as I didn't want to fall into sin by giving in to these overwhelming urges.I did feel much better and much stronger after I was finished praying and I truly believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that y'all who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am going through a very difficult emotional time.Yes,I am still going through a very difficult emotional time and it is getting more difficult by the day.Please keep up in prayer for me.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.They both work wonders in many ways.Your prayers and words of encouragement both help keep me going in this particular struggle and also,they also help strengthen both my determination to overcome this terrible SSA,and my my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Both your prayers and your words of encouragement both help out in many ways than any of you can think.The words of encouragement that you give anyone who struggles with SSA can be vital to that particular person's survival and even the prayers that you say on their behalf can also do the same for them as well.Thanks in advance to all of you for both your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of a men's meeting that I will be attending,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did most of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,which went well.After the group was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have some lunch and after eating,I decided to head for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a few places to see if there were any empty bottles and cans,which there were.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.II am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in sustaining me and keeping me on a much calmer and level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and didn't lay back down until my genitals softened,which they did,but it was pretty slow going.When my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and subsequently too sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I was tempted,though minimally,throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.I simply kept busy with things that I had to do and that kept my mind off of sexual things.I went through the day just doing what I had to do.Though I did escape today unscathed,I am again asking that all of you to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that all of you please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.They both help in many big ways.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also strengthen both my determination to overcome SSA and my motivation to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of an appointment with my therapist,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did most of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had only one important thing on my agenda for today.I had to see my general doctor for a follow-up on a few things and to get some much needed prescriptions.After the sessions,I headed for a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things to eat.After paying for those things,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Salvation Army thrift store to look around and after that,I headed over to a nearby car wash to pick up some bottles.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to heat up a can of soup and heat up some breaded mushroom snacks that I bought at the Dollar Tree store.After eating that for dinner,I headed over to a neighbor's house to pick up something that they had for me and I headed back home once that was completed.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father.I throw it on him as a burden and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative effects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not only sustaining me,but they also help keep me on a calmer and level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I sat up and I had to use the bathroom.I headed over there and that made the erection start to soften.When I was finished in the bathroom,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men,but I stayed out for much of the day and that kept my mind off of anything sexual.I simply kept my mind focused on the day as I went through it.I was mostly at the doctor's office and though it was stressful waiting to be called,it took my mind off of anything sexual.Though I escaped today unscathed,I am again asking that all of you please continue praying for me.I am still going through a very difficult emotional time and I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I am also in need of some positive verbal encouragement.Please leave some encouraging words in the comments section.I need those as much as I need prayers.They both do help me in extraordinary ways.They both help keep me going.They also help strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also help strengthen my motivation to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a couple of things planned.
The main thing this afternoon that I had on my agenda was that I had to see my urologist in regards to the problem that I had in my groin area before I started to take Proscar for the problem.He simply asked some questions and he said another appointment for six months.After I left the doctor's office,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things for dinner tonight.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put a few things away and I started to heat up a can of soup for dinner.I also had a half a submarine sandwich as a side dish and that was my meal for the night.After I had my meal,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.I also finished my personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.I pray real hard and they both help in sustaining me and keeping me on a much calmer level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another erection,though it didn't last long.I simply sat up and I sensed that I had to use the bathroom.I headed for the bathroom and the erection started to soften.When I was finished in the bathroom,my genitals were fully soft.I went back to bed and subsequently to sleep after that.Though I did escape this episode,I was tempted a few times throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.I kept busy by simply being out in the community and that took my mind off of sinful sexual thoughts of other men.I simply kept my mind on the activities of the day and that kept me occupied.Though I did escape unscathed today,there is always tomorrow and the day after that and so on.I am again asking that y'all who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I need your prayers.I also need some words of positive encouragement as I am going through this.They do help me in many ways.They both help keep me going.They also both help strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also help strengthen my motivation to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my appointment with my general doctor,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work.Since today was a holiday and it rained the entire day,I stayed home and watched a few movies in my DVD player while relaxing.It is just that I have an eventful week planned with appointments with a urologist tomorrow,my general doctor tomorrow afternoon and my therapist on Friday.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPS struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They help in both sustaining me and keeping me on a calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get up and walk,which made the erection soften,though it was slow going this time.I walked for a while and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men,but this time,it wasn't too bad.I kept busy by watching movies all through the day and try not to have the negative sexual images of men cloud my mind.It actually did help keep the negative images at bay.I was also much happier as a result.Still,I am continuing to ask that y'all who follow my blog and read the posts to please keep up in prayer for me.I also need your words of encouragement as well.I am still going through a very rough emotional period and I need your prayers and encouraging words day after day.Please continue in both of these things.They both help keep me going.They also help to strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also help to keep my motivation strong in continuing my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my urologist appointment,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed real quickly and I headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.I did another Holy Bible reading in front of the congregation and we also had Holy Communion.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes.I headed over to a friend's place and we both went out to a flea market in the next county.I didn't buy anything as I didn't have an awful lot of money,but my friend bought a few things.After that,we headed for home.
On the way home,we stopped somewhere to grab a bite to eat.After that,we headed straight home.
I dropped him off at his place and hung out a few extra minutes with him.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did my personal PC work.Though I did have a light snack on the way home,I had a small bowl of soup as I still felt hungry.I relaxed for the rest of the evening.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also still managed to get some more recommended Holy Bible reading as well.Even if I didn't get out to have some fun today,going to church today would have still made the day eventful for me.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions,for which I have one this Friday.I also continue to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I have.I also ask for strength to deal and endure through it all.They both help in sustaining me and also,help keep me on a calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get up and walk and that made my genitals soften.I didn't lay back down until my genitals were fully soft.I also went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Throughout the day,since I was out in the community and having fun,I didn't think about my struggles all day.I just went through the day without anything negative happening.Nothing crossed nor clouded my mind.I had fun and that was great.Still,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up in prayer for me and also,don't hesitate to leave me some encouraging words in the comments section.They both help keep me going,They also strengthen both my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and my motivation to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the holiday tomorrow,I am just going to relax and take it easy.It is going to rain tomorrow and I will simply stay home and watch a few movies.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ