Tonight,I am still feeling under the weather,but I am improving and I hope to continue improving in the days ahead.
Today,I went out to run a few errands that needed to be run.I first went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things that I needed.After that,I went to the small cafe within the supermarket and decided to have a slice of pepperoni pizza.After eating that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few more things.After that,I decided to have a sandwich at the nearby Burger King.I was surprised that the food that I ate stayed down,so I guess that I am feeling a little bit better.I headed straight home afterwards.
When I got home,I put the stuff away and I headed over to my niece's house to pick up my laundry.After that,I headed straight back home and stayed home for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I put my laundry bag in my room and I did my personal PC work.It took a while to get done,but I got it done.After that,I relaxed and prepared for my evening retirement.
As I stated previously here,I do have an appointment with my general doctor in regards to my bout with the terrible stomach virus that I had last week that was hell for me during the time that I had it.Right now,though I am feeling marginally better,I am still feeling queasiness in my stomach.I am simply going to take some more Pepto-Bismal before I turn in for the evening and hope for the best.
I will start reporting regularly on my struggles when I am at 100%.In the meantime fellow blog followers,please keep up in prayer for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance for that.FJ

Tonight,I am still not fully 100% as of yet.I am still feeling pains in my stomach,but I am still feeling hopeful and I am hoping that I will fully recover soon.
I was hoping to get out today and do some things,but I stayed home today to take it easy.I watched a few classic TV show episodes on DVD and again,took it easy.
I did make an appointment with my general doctor for Monday afternoon.I am still not only still feeling queasy in my stomach,but I am still going to the bathroom and spewing diarrhea rather than solid waste.The office of my general doctor simply advised me to continue drinking liquids throughout the day and to continue trying to eat something.The only thing that I have been eating is chicken noodle soup.I am afraid that if I start to eat anything solid,I will throw it back up.I don't want to take any chances.I am hoping that my general doctor can give me something that will help stop the flow of the liquid waste matter that has been coming out of me.I am hoping that this can be stopped with something.I have been taking various medications for this,mostly Pepto-Bismal.I am just hoping that I can get rid of this flow and start getting back to having solid waste again.I am already getting sick of having to go to the bathroom constantly because it is getting pretty monotonous.The stomach virus should have been out of my system by now,but I guess that it isn't.Again,I am hoping that the general doctor this coming Monday will have an idea on how I can stop the flow.Again,I am already tired of going to the bathroom constantly.I am simply going to take a little more Pepto-Bismal and hope for the best.
I will start reporting everything regularly when I feel 100% better to do it.Right now,I am simply going to report on this until I am better.Please keep me in your prayers fellow blog followers and don't forget to leave me some encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance for doing so.FJ

Tonight,I am still not feeling 100% as of yet.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I rested for much of the morning and I am still feeling queasiness in my stomach from my bout with the terrible stomach virus that I had last week.It isn't as bad as it was last week,but I am still feeling a stomach-ache from it all.I rested for much of the day and I did manage to take my shower and have my usual quick breakfast alongside my usual 2 cups of coffee.For the rest of the day after that,I lazed around the house trying to get rid of the queasy feeling that my stomach was feeling.I was miserable for much of the day as I tried everything to get rid of it,only to fail miserably.
I only left the house once today.It was to run an errand for my next door neighbor.She wanted me to pick up a couple of things for her and I went out and did just that.I also bought myself some upset stomach over the counter medicine and a six pack of sugar free ginger ale for myself.After paying for everything,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped off the stuff that I bought for my neighbor and to give her her change.She even gave me a few dollars for myself for helping her.After that,I headed into the house.
When I got into the house,I put the six pack of ginger ale away in a cupboard and took a dosage of the over the counter stomach remedy.After doing that,I laid down for a while so I could get some rest for my aching stomach.After that was over,I had a light meal of chicken noodle soup and relaxed for much of the rest of the evening.I did manage to do my personal PC work today,though I was late in getting it done.It was a pretty fair day for me today.
I will start reporting regularly once I am back at 100%.Please keep me in your prayers and don't forget to leave me some encouraging word or two in the comments section.FJ

Tonight,I am still making some progress in my recovery from my recent illness.I am feeling better,but I still have some ways to go.
Today,I got up out of bed and took a shower to clean myself.After that,my usual quick breakfast followed alongside my usual two cups of coffee.After my quick morning meal,I did my personal PC work.I also got dressed as I had a few things planned for today.
Today,I had to see my therapist.I headed for my therapist's office,though it was rough going.The roads were slick and slippery and I had to take my time getting there as I knew that I had to be careful.I made it there in one piece and the meeting went well.It was also tough going getting home,but I also made it home in one piece.I had to make a couple of important stops along the way and that was all the traveling that I did for today.
After I got home,I took it easy for a while and I had my evening meal.I then prepared for my evening retirement.It was a pretty good day and I did get quite a few things accomplished today.
I am leaving it here.I will start the regular process when I feel up to it.Please be patient and continue praying for me.Thanks to all of you for your prayers.FJ

Tonight,I am still in recovery from the terrible stomach virus that kept me in bed through the whole weekend and back and forth to the bathroom constantly.
Today,most of the pain continued to slowly go away.I still felt the stabbing pains in my stomach throughout the day,but this time,they weren't as bad as they were when the stomach virus that I had was in full fruition.Today,I actually managed to get some things done that I needed to get accomplished.Plus,I think that the fresh air that I had breathed in also benefited me,even though it was bitterly cold outside today.
Today,I went out to do some much needed snow shoveling.It took me a long time to get it done,but I got it done,I had to get out and do some much needed errands that I had to run.Before doing that,I showered and had my morning quick breakfast and two cups of coffee.
I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up several things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed while doing my personal PC work,which I put off for much of the day.After that was done,I relaxed and had a light evening meal.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,it was a pretty good day.
I will start reporting regularly on my struggles when I feel 100% or near it.All I ask is for your patience in this.Thanks.
That is my report for the day.FJ

Tonight,I am signing in for the first time since Thursday.I haven't signing in to post here as a result of a terrible illness.
On Thursday night,after signing off of here,I was hot with terrible pains within my stomach and digestive regions.They were really painful.I also got drowsy and after signing off,I went to bed.I was hoping and praying that I would feel better after the night,but I wasn't.
It actually got worse.The pain got more intense and I was also going to the bathroom constantly.Aside from the stomach pains,I had diarrhea and I was always changing my underpants every time I went as there were times my underpants got dirty because the run of liquid waste was faster than I.I was bed ridden for much of the weekend and the only time that I got up was when I had to use the bathroom.I was feeling intense pain and it was almost unbearable for me to handle.My family came though for me as they bought me chicken noddle soup and to eat and ginger ale to drink.My niece also got me Pepto-Bismal to help with my stomach.During the entire weekend,I didn't shower nor watch any TV or listen to any music.I just laid down in bed for the vast majority of the time trying to get healed from this terrible whatever it was that was making me terribly sick.I did manage to get some dishes done,which was three days old and that was the only thing that I did do.
Fortunately today,I started feeling better.I actually managed to have a bowl of honey nut cheerios and a couple cups of coffee.I was having diarrhea as much today,though I did still make some trips to the bathroom.I even showered for the first time since Thursday and was glad that I was now fully clean.After the shower,I had a lot of personal PC work to catch up on and I did it.I also managed to go out and do some much needed snow shoveling and after that was done,I relaxed again and took it easy.I also planned for my evening retirement.
I will start reporting regularly hopefully by tomorrow.
I just thought that I would share what was going on the last few days.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I was hoping to go to my usual Thursday morning Holy Bible study group,but due to the Winter weather conditions in my hometown,I stayed home.I also had a pounding headache and I took something for it and I laid down for a while and didn't get back up until the pain was gone.I laid down for a little over an hour and I got back up.I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda for today.I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up some toothpaste and light bulbs,but they were out of the light bulbs,so I bought the toothpaste and headed over to a local Dollar General store to get the light bulbs.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the toothpaste and the light bulbs away away.I also did some more personal PC work.After that,the pain in my head came back and I took something again for it and laid down for a little over an hour.
After eating,I was hoping to go to my Thursday evening Holy Bible study group,but got an e-mail stating that it was canceled.I simply stayed home and took it easy for the evening.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I was tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have by fantasies,lusting and to manipulate my genitals to these unwholesome images of men that were clouding my mind.I immediately went to my Heavenly Father and asked him for the strength to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out.I prayed for that strength and after I was finished,I felt better and much stronger.Since I had a headache,I laid down and rested for a while.Fellow blog followers,please keep up in prayer for me and also,please don't forget to leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support to help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,since my hometown will be under a Winter Weather Advisory,I am simply going to stay home and take it easy.I will only go out if I have to.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things on my agenda for today.I first went to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed for myself.After that,I headed over to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I out what I had bought away and I relaxed while doing some more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and watch it.After that,I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult struggle for me.This morning,after I got out of bed and sat up for a while,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals and yes,there were sexual images of men clouding my mind while that happened.Fortunately for me,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out.I bared everything out as I prayed and when I was finished,I felt better and I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.Later on,the temptations did come back,but this time,I turned the temptation over to my Heavenly Father and asked him for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and I asked him to keep me strong and to help me fight and resist.I didn't want to fall again like I did earlier this morning when I first got out of bed.After praying,I felt better and stronger as I truly believed that I received what I asked my Heavenly Father for.Satan and his minions are really harping me now.They knew that I have given my SSA struggle over to my Heavenly Father and asked him to help me become the man that he intended me to be and the man that he wants me to be.The minions of Satan and Satan himself are not going to let up as they are going to continue harping me with every immoral image of men and any immoral images of anything connected with the lustful practices of the so called "Gay" Lifestyle.I now know that I must stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions will now try anything to get me to sin against my Heavenly Father and his perfect law.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me and also,please make sure that you leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both of these things desperately.Regarding comments,they can simply be upbuilding scriptures or phrases.They can also be words of advice to me on how I can continue in this fight and struggle against this terrible SSA condition.Don't be shy.Leave me anything positive,upbuilding and encouraging.Please continue in prayer for me also.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for all that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of both my Thursday morning and evening Holy Bible study groups,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
Today,it was a really COLD day here in my hometown.I only had a couple of things on my agenda for today.I first went to the post office to mail out an important bill that needed to be paid.After that,I stopped at the local Salvation Army thrift store to look around and managed to score a few nice things.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed back into my sweatsuit and I relaxed for a bit.I also did a little bit of reading while doing so.
After eating,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.After that,I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against the BPD/Schizophrenia and the terrible SSA.Today,I was tempted minimally to act out by fantasies and lusting and also,for the first time in quite a while,I was tempted to look up pornography online while I was initially on the computer.When that latter temptation came around,I decided to simply close off the internet and get away from the computer for a while.I went out and I did what I had to do today out in the community and it was good that the important things that I had to do took my mind off of the sexual stuff and that was great.I simply stayed busy and it kept my mind clean of anything immoral.Though I did escape today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers,please keep me in your prayers and also,please don't hesitate to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support day in and day out.I need to stay alive,well and best of all,alert and positive verbal encouragement and prayers do help a lot,especially when it comes to the difficult and terrible SSA struggle,which does nothing to enhance lives,but only to lead people to live a destructive and dangerous lifestyle that can lead to AIDS later on and that is something that I don't want to live at all.I am glad that I am free from enslavement to the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected to SSA and the path of destruction and danger that many who are still enslaved to that sinful sexual lifestyle that only destroys lives rather than enhances them.Please continue praying and leaving some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for all that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with a Wind Chill Advisory that will be in effect until almost noon tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had a couple cups of coffee.I was still feeling a little bit drowsy trying to be fully awake.I did lay back down for about a half hour and when I got up again,I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast.After I was done eating breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed and was hoping to get out to Best Buy in another area within the county that I live,but the cold snowy day made me change plans.I simply went out to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a small thing that I needed.After paying for that,I headed to a nearby gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed over to a local pizzeria to pick up a few slices of pizza to tie me over until dinner.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed back into my sweatsuit and enjoyed my slices of pizza.After eating them,I did some more personal PC work and when that was done,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating dinner,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.After that,I did some more personal PC work.I then made plans for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I was tempted during the early morning hours upon getting out of bed to indulge in fantasies and lusting with various sexual images of men and to manipulate my genitals to these various sexual images.I immediately threw the temptation on my Heavenly Father and asked for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist these urges,which were very overwhelming.I prayed real hard and left nothing out.I poured out my soul and asked for that strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations.After praying,I felt much stronger and the temptation was reduced to nil.I went on throughout the day with no worries.I stayed out in the community for much of the day and that took my mind off of those terrible and unclean images.It was wonderful to be out and about for only a short time in the community,though it was bitterly cold and there was snow falling and blowing everywhere around.Fellow blog followers,though I am trying to get my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ more involved in my struggles by continuing to pray for strength,I am again asking that y'all continue praying for me as I am still going through a rough time.I also ask that y'all to please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and continuous positive verbal support day in and day out.It helps keep me going and also,it helps strengthen my self confidence and self esteem.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.I also did another reading in front of the congregation and it was also Holy Communion Day.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up some stuff that I needed.After paying for everything,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I got out of my suit.I changed into my sweatsuit and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I had a mild headache and I took something for it.I laid down for a while and I woke up almost two hours later.I got out of bed and prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I was tempted to act out on the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA by fantasies and lusting and to manipulate my genitals to these.I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer when these temptations came about.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges.They were very difficult and I prayed real hard to my Heavenly Father for this strength and I left nothing out.I told all to him and I asked for that strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations.After praying,I felt much stronger as the temptation was reduced to nil and I simply dozed off in bed so that my headache could go away.I went on for the rest of the day with no problems as I kept my mind on the tasks at hand throughout the house.Though I did escape unscathed today,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.I am again asking that y'all who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some words of positive verbal encouragement.I need both of these things day in and day out.It also assures me that I am not alone in the SSA struggle and the positive verbal encouragement also helps keep my self confidence and self esteem strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and after having a light lunch,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.Since it was a pretty bitterly cold day,I put my long thermal underwear on before putting my clothes on.
I had a few things on my agenda for today.I first went to the local Radio Shack to pick up a few fuses for my stereo receiver.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a gallon of milk.After that,I headed to a local supermarket that was across the street to pick up a small jar of pizza sauce.After that,I stopped at the drug store to pick up my my prescription medication.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries that I bought away and I inserted a brand new fuse in the back of my stereo receiver and now,my stereo is working beautifully.After that,I changed into my sweatsuit and did some more personal PC work.After that,I relaxed and took it easy while reading.
After eating,I watched a little TV and I did some more personal PC work.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the worst of my struggles.Today,as soon as I got up out of bed,I fell by giving into the temptation to manipulate my genitals and yes,sexual images of men and even transgendered people were crossing my mind.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out because my Heavenly Father always wants to know everything that is there and he knows when I am hiding and/or leaving something out.I prayed real hard for my heavenly Father's forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after I was finished praying,I felt relieved and much better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.After that,I went on with my day with no worries.I stayed out for some of the day and I kept my mind on things.It helped me take my mind off of the negative things associated with SSA and kept my mind on constructive and needful things.Though I did escape the rest of the with no worries,I know that there is tomorrow and the days ahead.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me and please don't be afraid to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section as I both need prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had only a couple of things for today.I first went to the bank to withdrew some money.After doing that,I headed over to a nearby gas station to get some gas.After that,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the bills that I withdrew at the Where's George site.After that was done,I did more personal PC work and when that was done,I relaxed for a bit.
After eating early tonight,I left the house again to go to a Celebrate Recovery group in another area of the county where I live.I headed there with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group meeting was wonderful.I met some wonderful men there and I shared a lot.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my night clothes and prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,with the SSA struggle being my most difficult.Today,I was tempted only minimally to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect to this temptation to fantasize and lust.When the temptation hit,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength.I prayed real hard and left nothing out.I asked for the strength to fight and resist these temptations.I ask for this strength because I can't fight and resist without it.It is what the scripture at James 4:7b says about resisting the devil and he will flee from you.The thing is that Satan himself will run away from me for the time being,but he will come back and make the temptations even stronger.The more resistance is put up,the more stronger the temptation comes back because Satan and his minions make sure of that.I escaped today unscathed thanks to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.Though I did escape today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.Fellow blog followers,I am again asking that y'all continue in prayer for me and also,please don't be afraid of leaving me an encouraging word or two in the comments.I still need both prayerful and positive verbal support real badly.Please leave me some positive verbal encouragement and please also continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the upcoming weekend,with the exception of going to church on Sunday,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,which went as well as usual.After that was over,I headed for a local kitchen for lunch.After eating lunch,I decided to take a drive to locate a church where a Celebrate Recovery group is being held this and every Friday.I succeeded in finding it and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to turn in some empty cans and bottles.After collecting the money for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my sweatsuit and did some more personal PC work while relaxing for a bit.After that,I relaxed and did a little bit of reading.
After eating,I got dressed and headed over to my Thursday evening Holy Bible study group,which also went wonderfully well.After that was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into some night clothes and prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,with the SSA struggle the most difficult of the two.I have to put up with the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA and at times,it can be both energy draining and emotionally exhausting.Today,soon after I got out of bed,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images that were clouding my mind.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went to far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for falling short in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling and I prayed real hard for my Heavenly Father to forgive me.I felt better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.Later on in the day,I was plagued by the temptation to do it again,but this time,I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and threw the terrible temptation on him.I asked him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist the overwhelming temptation that was trying to take over me.I threw it all on my Heavenly Father.In this way,I was showing that terrible temptation that I owned it and not it owning me.I prayed real hard for the strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.After I was finished praying,I felt much stronger and I also felt nothing in terms of temptations.I felt stronger and also,much better.Fellow blog followers,though I have been doing this and I am still working on it,I am again asking that y'all who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both of these things to help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.Please continue offering your prayerful and positive verbal support by leaving me a comment or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of attending a Celebrate Recovery group in the evening,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I got dressed real quickly.After getting dressed,I headed over to the local hospital to get that much needed blood work done.After it was all over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I showered quickly and I had my usual breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After I had my breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed again as I had to leave the house again for a few important things.
I stopped at the house of a friend of the family and picked up something that they were saving for me.After that,I headed over to a local close out store to buy a box of cereal.After that,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a bottle of salad dressing.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed back into my sweatsuit and I did some more personal PC work while relaxing.After that,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.I also relaxed and did a little bit more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Though I am still slowly getting into the swing of this,I am working on making frequent prayer throughout the day a part of my life.Today,I was minimally tempted to fantasize,lust and manipulate my genitals to unwholesome images of men,but I turned these terrible and overwhelming temptations to my Heavenly Father and asked him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to fight and resist these temptations.I prayed real hard and left nothing out.After I was finished,I felt stronger and moved on with the rest of the day and I was plagued by temptations like I have been plagued with in the weeks and days before.It is great that I am now relying on my own Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ more than ever before and the feeling that I am getting is wonderful.While I am doing this and still working on it,I am again asking that all of my fellow blog followers to please continue praying for me.I also would appreciate a kind and encouraging word or two in the comments section as I need both prayerful and positive verbal support day in and day out.It also helps keep me going and builds both my self confidence and self esteem.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of both my morning and evening Holy Bible study groups,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and though originally I was going to go to the local hospital for that much needed blood work to be done,I chose to put it off until tomorrow as I wasn't up to doing it.I simply jumped into the shower and cleaned myself up.After that,I ate my usual quick breakfast and had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that was done,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I only a couple of things on my agenda for today.I first went to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby Burger King for a sandwich.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and decided to do some more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and watch it.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I was tempted again to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and to manipulate my genitals to these unclean and unwholesome images.Again,I turned the temptations over to my Heavenly Father and I prayed for strength to help me fight and resist these urges,which were pretty overwhelming.I asked for this strength in the name of my Heavenly Father's son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard as these temptations were overwhelming and I also didn't want to grieve my Heavenly Father in any way by giving into these terrible temptations.I felt much better and much stronger after praying and I went on with my day.For the rest of the time being today,since I was out in the community,my mind was totally free of anything unclean,impure and unwholesome.I didn't want these unnatural desires that I have to won me.I wanted to show them that I owned them.Though I did escape unscathed today,I have to keep in mind that there is always tomorrow and the days after that.I have to my healing from this terrible SSA one day at a time.I also have to keep in mind that each and every time temptations are resisted,they can come back stronger than before and those terrible temptations can be very overwhelming at times.Fellow blog followers,while I am still working on the frequent prayers throughout the day for myself,I am again asking that y'all continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that y'all leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section as I do need some positive verbal support as much as I need prayerful support.Please do both of these things for me as both would be appreciated.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to the local hospital and getting that much needed blood work done,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I was hoping to go to the local hospital for blood work,but had a pounding headache.I simply showered and had my usual quick breakfast,alongside my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and when I was done,I took something for my headache and I laid down for a while and when the pain was all gone,I got up and got dressed as I had a few things on my agenda for today.
I first went to the public library to print something important from my e-mail and after that,I did a little shopping at a Goodwill thrift store nearby.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After that,I headed for a nearby gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I also did a little bit more personal PC work.
After eating a light evening meal,I decided to relax and watch a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.After that,I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,while I was laying down,I was tempted to fantasize and lust after other men and to also manipulate my genitals to these unclean and unwholesome sexual images of other men.I prayed to my Heavenly Father for strength,which I asked for in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard as I didn't want to give into any temptations.I am now in the starting process of showing these unnatural desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.I have now fully chosen to let my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ lead the way for me.I am now letting them take complete control and lead me in the right way to healing and wanting to become the whole man that I want to feel like and be.I want to get my true identity to come to the surface.I want to attain my true identity,which is male,as I am a male and aside from being my true identity,it is also my true sexual identity.Labels such as Heterosexual/Straight,Homosexual/Gay,including Bisexual,are just labels.Male is what I am and male is what I want to be as it is my true identity both gender and sexual.I felt much stronger after praying to my Heavenly Father for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also felt much better as I am now making it my resolve to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ more whenever temptation rears it's ugly head at me.Fellow blog followers,I am still going to ask y'all to continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Though I am praying and still working on making frequent prayer a part of my life,I still need prayers from all of you and some positive verbal support also.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of getting that much needed blood work done at the local hospital,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and put on my sweatsuit.Since I was feeling tired,I decided to lay down.I read for a bit before deciding to take a nap.I slept for about and hour and half before getting up and doing my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.I also relaxed while doing so.I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I was feeling tempted to act out with fantasies and lusting after other men that were clouding my mind.This time,I decided to turn the temptation over to my Heavenly Father.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges.I was also tempted to grab my genitals and manipulate them to these impure and unwholesome images.I also asked for strength to fight and resist that particular urge as well.After praying,I felt much better and also,much stronger.I felt and truly believed that my Heavenly Father gave me the strength that I asked for as I felt it.I also didn't have any problems with temptation for the rest of the day.I simply went on with my day and I had no temptations to deal with.I actually felt better knowing that my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ were leading the way for me.Though I did escape today unscathed,there is tomorrow and the days after that.I am still working on staying close to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ and relying more on them than on my own wits and power.Last night,before going to sleep,I prayed to my Heavenly Father really hard.I unloaded more and more on him.I also asked him to remove any anger,unforgiveness and every sort of negative emotions that I felt against everybody that I knew.I poured my soul out to him and I left nothing out.I bared all and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me let go and rid myself of all the negative emotions and other negativeness that I had for many of the people that I knew and also,I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ for forgiveness for even holding on to all of those things.When I was finished,I felt better and slept better than ever before.Fellow blog followers,while I am still working on drawing closer to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ in my daily life and in my striving to heal from this unwanted SSA,I am again asking that y'all continue praying for me and please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day.They both help keep me going.They also help increase my self confidence and self esteem.They also make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome and heal from this terrible SSA,which I do want to do.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a morning's trip to the local hospital to get some much needed blood work done,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and when I finished with that,I laid down for a while and read.I later got dressed and proceeded with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things on my agenda for today.I first went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for them,I headed over to the local Target,but couldn't find what I was looking for.After that,I went to a nearby local supermarket and they had what I was looking for.After paying for it,I headed over to a gas station to get some gas and when that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed for a while doing a little bit more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched a little TV and I also did a little bit more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult struggle.Aside from the up and down roller coaster ride of BPD and the hallucinatory effects of Schizophrenia,I have to put up with and endure unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with the terrible SSA condition.The SSA condition does nothing to enhance the lives of others.It only serves to bring people down with the destructive and sinful sexual lifestyle that it is notorious for.I have been seeking healing from this terrible condition for a little over a decade.I have to put up with these unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.I also have to endure temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,which are acting out with another man or simply lusting and fantasizing as sexual images of men do cloud my mind from time to time,which in turn gives birth to the temptation to manipulate my genitals to these images,which is where the fantasizing and lusting is borne from.The SSA struggle is a very difficult struggle and at times,it can be both physically,but mostly,emotionally draining.At times,I have to use all of my emotional energy to fight and resist these terrible and overwhelming urges.They are very difficult to resist and the more resistance that I put up,the more stronger they become.Fellow blog followers and fellow SSA strugglers,I am again asking that y'all continue offering prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal encouragement.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support.I need both of these things day in and day out.Please continue doing both of these things for me as I would really appreciate that.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,including the morning's Holy Bible study class,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I relaxed much of the day reading.
In the mid afternoon,I got dressed and I decided to take a drive out to a city within the county that I lived.It was pretty good to get out and just be out in the community.I stopped at a nearby Salvation Army thrift store to see what they had and after looking around,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed back into my sweatsuit and relaxed.I also did a little bit more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to watch a DVD and after it was over,I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,with the SSA struggle being the worst of the two.I am still having to put up with the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.It can get pretty monotonous and tiresome most of the time.Not only that,the SSA struggle can drain out both energy and emotions,including emotional energy, and wear anyone out with exhaustion.As I have said before and I will say it again,I wish that I didn't have to struggle with this terrible SSA condition.I wish that I was a whole man as I don't feel like a whole man as a result of this terrible SSA struggle.I want to be a whole man.I want to feel like a whole man.I also want to be the man that my Heavenly Father intended me to be.I wish that I can find some men that I can be friends with,where the benefits are close friendships,bonding,acceptance,affirmation and where I can share anything with them without fear of being judged and rejected as a result of my struggles.I understand that relationships of that sort are difficult to find and I have been praying to my Heavenly Father in hopes that I will start having these sorts of relationships and also,I keep asking that my Heavenly Father points me in the right direction where it leads to relationships of this sort.I need these healthy relationships in order to grow,mature and also,to put me on the path to becoming that whole man that I want to be and want to feel like,including the man that my Heavenly Father intended me to be.I have also been very overwhelmed by temptations and I need prayers for strength.Fellow blog followers,please pray for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement.I need both prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Please leave me the positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of going to church this Sunday,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly got dressed and I headed for my Thursday morning Holy Bible study group.
The group meeting went as well as expected.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after I ate there,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my sweatsuit and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and did a little reading while laying down.
After eating,I got dressed and I headed over to my Thursday evening Holy Bible study group,which was also wonderful.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into night clothes and prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.I never know how these struggles will be any time during the day or the week.Aside from putting up with the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD and the hallucinatory effects of Schizophrenia,I also have to put up with the difficulties of SSA,which is a lot more difficult than the psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with and also,for me,the SSA struggle is more difficult because of the psychiatric double whammy that I have.I hear voices telling me things to do that are unclean and impure and at times,it is very difficult to fight and resist these urges.The temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can be very overwhelming.I get tempted to manipulate my genitals constantly.I am always asking for strength from my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resists these overwhelming urges.It can be very difficult to resist them.Each and every time temptations of this sort are resisted,the more stronger they come back.I wish that I didn't have to struggle with this terrible thing at times.The SSA condition does little to enhance the lives of others.It only leads to destruction as the sinful sexual lifestyle is connected to is a destructive one where the only thing that one active in that lifestyle can get is that terrible killer disease AIDS,which is something that I would never want at all.I want to heal from this terrible SSA and I also want to be a whole man where I feel like a man inside and outside.Fellow blog followers,please continues praying for me as I am going through this terrible time and also,please don't forget to leave some positive verbal encouragement.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

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Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and had my usual 2 cups of coffee.My day didn't start out too good.My internet modem went out and after talking with my internet service provider for a little over half an hour,I managed to get my internet service back up and running with a new modem that I received early last year and it is now working good.After that hassle,I went out to do some important things that I needed to get done.
I first stopped at my bank to pay a bill that needed to be paid.After that,I went to a local supermarket to buy a few things.After paying for those things,I headed for the nearby Dollar Tree store to buy a few more things.After paying for those things,I headed for the post office to buy a money order to pay for my car insurance for the month.After I dropped the money order off at my insurance agent's office,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I immediately jumped into the shower to clean myself up.After the shower,I ate my much delayed quick breakfast and after that,paid my electric bill online and then did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and took it easy while reading some news articles online.
After eating a light meal,I watched a couple of DVD's in the DVD player and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against the symptoms of BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.With the exception of going out in the early afternoon,I stayed home much of the day as the weather was COLD and we were under a Wind Chill Warning that would last until 4:00am tomorrow morning.I also worked to stay warm,which isn't easy with that sort of Wintry weather pattern.Since I was home for much of the day,temptations were really starting to come at me.They were pretty overwhelming,but this time,I decided to turn them over to my Heavenly Father and asked him to help get me through these temptations.I asked him this in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I did feel better and I went on with the rest of the day.It wasn't easy with me being stuck at home as a result of the bitterly COLD temperatures we were having,but I managed to hang on and stay in there.Fellow blog followers,please keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some encouraging words in the comments section.I still need both of these things.Please keep on with them.It would make me feel better knowing that I am getting much needed prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work quickly and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda for today.I first went to the post office to mail out an important bill payment.After that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed for a little bit at home as in the mid afternoon,I had an appointment with my general doctor to get a few new prescriptions for my daily daytime medications.When the time came to head over there,I headed for there and I was also careful driving as it was a very COLD day and there was a little bit of slickness on the roads.
The meeting with my general doctor went as well as hoped and after getting my new prescriptions,I headed for home.
On the way home,I dropped off my prescriptions at the drug store and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I went into the house and prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I was hoping to go to the Epiphany service at my church,but the weather was much too intense for me to go.Though I did make it home in one piece with no crashes or any slips while driving,the weather was getting worse with the visibility not being very good.I decided to simply stay home and work on keeping warm.Later on,I simply planned my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,since I did stay busy,it wasn't much of a problem.I went out to do a very important thing,which was my visit with my general doctor and that was very important.Though I was tempted,it was minimal as I stayed busy with simply doing what I had and wanted to do.Though I escaped today,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Tomorrow,since my hometown will be under a Wind Chill Warning,I am going to simply stay home and try to keep warm.With bitterly cold temperatures,staying warm,even inside a house with heat,is never easy.I am just going to have to work on trying to stay warm and not let myself get too cold.The only things that I will do is simply shovel the walk for the mail people and clean my car off of any snow and ice.I will also warm up my car for a few minutes to prevent stalling when it is really needed.The thing is when I stay home due to the Winter weather conditions,temptations can come around and can be very overwhelming.Fellow blog followers,please keep praying for me as I going through the next two days and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day to help keep me going in my struggles against the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As stated,I will be staying home tomorrow as a result of the Wind Chill Warning that will be in effect for 24 hours starting tonight at 6:00pm.I will try to stay warm and simply do the responsible things that I need to do tomorrow.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I quickly showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up real quickly and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a pair of long thermal underwear as I need it for when the bitter chills come as we are going to be under a Wind Chill Warning starting tomorrow at 6:00pm.I want to make sure that I have these so that way,my body can stay warm and I don't catch any cold.After paying for the long thermal underwear,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up several more things.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I also put my long thermal underwear away.I also got out of my church suit and into my sweatsuit.I did my personal PC work after that and I also relaxed for a while when I was finished.
After eating,I watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still in my daily struggle against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.The SSA struggle is the most difficult of the two.I am still having ti put up with temptations to act out on the unnatural desires that I have and at times,the temptations can be very overwhelming.They can be so very overwhelming that I don't know whether I am coming or going at times.I do see that Satan and his minions can try to make a person like myself who is an SSA struggler to act out on these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with SSA.The thing is this;When you resist temptation,it comes back stronger.The more that any temptation is resisted,the stronger it gets the more resistance is put up.I know that for a fact as it is very difficult for any SSA struggler.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support.Yes,I need them both day in and day out.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a doctor's appointment in the mid afternoon and an evening Epiphany church service,which I am hoping to attend,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as there were a few things that I needed to do.
I went today to run a couple of errands.I first went to the bank to withdraw a little bit of money.After that,I went to a nearby Salvation Army thrift store to look around and after that,I went over to a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I went to another local supermarket to pick up a few more things.After paying for those things,I headed for the drug store to pick up a few prescriptions and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I watched a DVD.I relaxed while doing so.
After eating,I watched another DVD and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I still struggle with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I almost gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men,but before I could do this,I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I prayed for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed for the strength to help me fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I prayed real hard.After I was finished,I felt stronger and I also felt better as I knew that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.I went on with the rest of the day just staying busy and keeping my mind occupied with the important things that I had to do.It was wonderful that I managed to get out into the community and do what I had to do.It was great.I stayed out for much of the day as it was a nice sunny day.It was a little windy and cold,but the sun was shining and it wasn't as cold as it was the last few days.I enjoyed being out and it was wonderful.I even ran into an old schoolmate of mine that I haven't seen in a while and we talked for a few minutes.While I escaped unscathed today,there is tomorrow and the days after that.I still have to continue to stay on guard and be watchful as temptation can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to stay on guard and try not to make any sort of temptation consume me.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I would appreciate both of these things as I truly need both prayerful and positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had two cups of coffee.Despite that,I was still tired and drowsy and I went back to bed and wound up falling asleep again,but when I got back up,I showered quickly and I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work quickly and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I went out to do some shopping today.Before that,I shoveled the walk for the mail people and also did some shoveling in my driveway so I could get out and do my shopping.
I first stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up some stuff and after paying for those things,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to buy some more things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I had to do some more shoveling as I couldn't get into my driveway with my car.I shoveled for about ten minutes and after that,I proceeded to get the car into the driveway and managed to get it in despite a couple of setbacks.I also made sure to make tracks in the driveway so that way I could get out and get in.After that,I went onto the house to put the groceries away and after that,I decided to do some more personal PC work.
After eating,I popped a DVD in the DVD to watch it.After that,I watched another one.When that was over,I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,since I managed to get out and do things,I didn't have much of a problem.I was tempted,but the temptation was minimal.I simply went through the day and didn't have any negative effects of my struggle to deal with.Though I did escape today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.I still have to stay on guard and be watchful and alert.I have to keep in mind that temptation can come around when least expected.I have to keep in mind that when they come,I have to choose to rely more on My Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ to keep me strong and help me to fight and resist these overwhelming urges.Fellow blog followers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement.I still need both of these things.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had my usual 2 cups of coffee.I sat up in a chair for a while,but was still feeling sleepy and decided to lay down in bed for much of the morning to ease off the drowsiness.When I got back up again a few hours later,I showered and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I did my personal PC work and when I was done with that,I slipped on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt to head outside to do some snow shoveling on the walk so the way will be clear for the mail people to come.
I didn't go to my usual Thursday morning Holy Bible study group as a result of the weather today.The area where I am living is under a Winter Storm Warning until 6:00pm tomorrow morning and starting at 4:00pm today,we will be under a Wind Chill Advisory until 12:00pm tomorrow afternoon.I stayed home and only went out to shovel the walk for the mail people and to also turn my car over to warm it up so it won't stall on me when I really need it to go somewhere in this really COLD weather.After I was done with both of these things,I went back into the house and simply relaxed while watching a couple of DVD's.I stayed inside and only went back out again to bring the recycling bins back to the back porch once the recycling trucks came to take the recyclables away.After that,I stayed in for the rest of the day.
After eating,I decided to do some more personal PC work and get ready to retire for the evening.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,struggling with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.While struggling with the psychiatric double whammy that I have is difficult in itself,the SSA struggle is the most difficult for me as I have to struggle with temptations to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men.At times,the psychiatric double whammy that I have makes the struggle even more difficult.I have to put up with hearing things,such as voices telling me to do things wrong or I hear them calling out my name and when I turn to see who it might be,there is nobody there.I also hear sounds like footsteps while I am walking and as usual,when I turn around,there is nobody nor nothing there.It really gets to me so much that I don't know whether I am coming or going at times.The thing with SSA is that I hate the temptations that come around wanting me to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and also,to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that latter temptation comes around,I simply choose to stay home rather than feed that particular temptation.I have to keep in mind that acting out on these unnatural desires that I have will never give me the fulfillment that I need to grow and function like a man.They will never fulfill my needs authentically nor will the make me feel like a man is supposed to feel.Acting out on the unnatural desires that I have will only reaffirm the false identity of Homosexual/Gay,which is the identity that I am trying to distance myself from as I hate that false identity with a passion.I don't want to feel sexual feelings for men anymore and I am tired of feeling them.I want these unnatural sexual feelings to go away.Fellow blog followers,I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both of these things desperately.The encouragement can be anything,such as scriptural upbuilding or just a comment to boost both my self confidence and self esteem.I am always in need of a confidence boost as my self confidence is pretty low and my self esteem is just as low.I would appreciate both prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Happy New Year to everyone everywhere.
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed out for church for the New Year's Day service.
The service was wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store too pick up something that I needed.After paying for it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into a sweatsuit.I ate a light lunch and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I watched a few DVD's and relaxed while doing so.
After eating,I watched another DVD and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,while I was tempted to do things,it wasn't too much of a problem as I stayed busy watching a few DVD's and relaxing.I also prepared myself a delicious pasta meal and I enjoyed it.The temptations today were not as overwhelming as they have been in the last several days,which made me feel a little bit better.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is tomorrow and the days after that.I understand that I shouldn't worry nor dwell about tomorrow,but I am really not worried about it.I just want to stay on guard and watch out for any temptations that might come my way.Tomorrow,we are going to be under a Winter Weather Advisory for the next couple of days and I know that temptations can come anytime as I won't be doing much of anything as I will be staying home during much of that time as I don't want to leave the house for anything unnecessary.I am simply going to stay home for much of the period and simply go out to shovel the walk for the mail people and make sure that my car is warmed up so it won't stall on me when I really need it.Fellow blog followers,please keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement.I am going to need both of these things as I will be held up in my house for much of the next two days due to the Winter Weather Advisory that is currently in effect right now.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Since there is a Winter Weather Advisory in effect for the next couple of days,I am simply going to stay home and take it easy and go out only to shovel the walk for the mail people and turn my car over and let it warm up for a few minutes so it won't stall on me when needed.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had myself a couple cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly.After showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and when I was done eating,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I got dressed and I went outside to clean off my car and shovel the walk.After that was done,I headed out to do a few errands that needed to be done.
I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After that,I stopped in a nearby local supermarket to pick up something that the Dollar Tree didn't have.After that,I went to a gas station to get some gas.After that,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After a few minutes with him,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at my niece's house to pick up my laundry and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away quickly and I headed back out to do a little more shoveling of the walk for the mail people.I was hurrying as a friend of the family invited me out to lunch and I worked at speed to get the shoveling done.After putting the snow shovel away,the family friend arrived and we headed for a local restaurant for lunch.
It was a wonderful lunch.After we were done,she dropped me off at home and when I got in,I decided to do some more personal PC work.I also relaxed and watched a few classic TV show episodes on DVD.
After eating a light dinner,I was hoping to go to a New Year's Eve get together,but the householder wound up getting sick and the get together was cancelled.Since this change of events happened,I decided to attend the New Year's Eve service at church,which was what I was initially going to do until the New Year's Eve get together invitation came to me.
It was a wonderful service and after some fellowship,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed out of my dress clothes and into my night clothes.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the worst of my struggles.Today,I gave into temptation yet again by manipulating my genitals and I wound up ejaculating while I was doing this.Yes,sexual images of men did cloud my mind as I did this,and I did immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for falling in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and I moved on with the rest of the day.Fellow blog followers,I need some advice on how I can stop this unclean,dirty and impure practice of genital manipulation.This has become a serious habit with me and I do want to stop this habit and overcome it.Please fellow blog followers,if anyone out there has any helpful advice,please share it in the comments section.I would really appreciate that.I also would appreciate that y'all continue prayerful and positive verbal support for me.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both of things day in and day out and also,desperately.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some words of positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of attending the New Year's Day church service,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC quickly and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.I had a few things planned and I was looking forward to the day.
I went over to a friend's house and I picked him up.We headed for the AMVETS thrift store within another area of the next county and we both had a blast.I bought some great things,including an extra heavy Blanket for those cold winter nights.I bought a few tapes and some more records.After paying for those items,we headed to a nearby gas station to get some gas for the return trip and after that,we had lunch at a nearby restaurant and we had a personal pizza each and some fries,along with a drink.After we were finished eating,we headed out to return home to our home city.
Before dropping my friend off at home,I showed him where I worship each Sunday and he said that the church building was beautiful.After that,I dropped him off at home and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and sorted the records out.After that,I registered some bills that I got in change at the Where's George site and headed back out again to buy some needed things at a local Dollar Tree.I also got some gas with the rest of the change.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to watch a few classic TV episodes on DVD and relax.I also prepared for my evening meal.Overall,a very good and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.My struggles with SSA are much more difficult because of my struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia.At times,I hear voices telling me to do things and also,I hear them call out my name or say things for no random reason.At times,I hear footsteps,but when I turn around,I see nobody there.It really stuns me at times.I also have to put up with the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD as my moods fluctuate at times daily or at other times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.I still attend my therapy sessions and I continue to take my medication as directed.Today,I wasn't tempted very much by SSA as I was out in the community for much of the day.I was out and enjoying myself and didn't have much problems.It was wonderful that I didn't have to worry about anything.It took my mind off of the SSA and anything connected with it.Though I escaped unscathed today,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers and readers,I am again asking that y'all continue praying for me and also,please leave me some encouraging words in the comments section.I still need both prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ fr everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,in the evening,I am going to be attending a New Year's Eve get together at the house of a couple who attend the Thursday night Holy Bible study group that I attend,which is all that I have planned for tomorrow.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After some fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my sweatsuit.I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I decided to lay down for a while as I had a terribly pounding headache.I felt better after that and I decided to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and watch it.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I did get tempted minimally to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men,but today,it wasn't too much.I simply went about my morning rituals at home and got dressed up for church.I went to church and I enjoyed it.I always enjoy going to church each and every Sunday and the holy days when they come around.The next holy days to come will be when the Lenten weeks and Easter holidays come around,which will be only a few months away once the new year starts.It is hard to believe that 2013 and the holiday season of this year is almost over.I am simply going to continue seeking healing from SSA and also,I am also going to continue in my resolve to overcome SSA.The SSA struggle is a very difficult one indeed and my struggles with the psychiatric double whammy that I have makes the SSA struggle,for me,even more difficult to handle.I wish that at times that I didn't struggle with SSA and the struggle is not only a very difficult one,but also a terrible thing to struggle with.The thing with SSA is that it only works to destroy lives rather than enhances them.The sexual desires that are connected with the SSA struggle are unnatural and not the way that our sovereign Lord and creator,our Heavenly Father,intended for us to be as it makes sexuality look dirty,debasing and disgusting.Our Heavenly Father created and gave us sexuality as a gift,but the rest of the world is abusing the gift to the point where it is being used and abused by the rest of the world for all the wrong reasons and excuses.The way that it is being used by the rest of the world isn't they way that our Heavenly Father intended for it to be used.It is terrible the way that it is being used by our modern world.It really makes me sad and angry because if it wasn't for the sexual abuse that I endured at the hands of older and trusted men,which was one of the contributors of why I struggle,I wouldn't be struggling with SSA.Of course,the physical and emotional abuse at the hands of my "non-denominated" father,alongside his legalistic ways,was the root cause of my struggles with SSA as I never received his love and affirmation,only his emasculation and his abusive ways.I am just hoping that one day,I will be fully healed from SSA.Fellow blog followers,please continue to pray for me and also,please leave me some verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support day in and day out.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,a friend and I have plans to go to an AMVETS thrift store in another area in the next county and we are hoping for some wonderful things to find,which is what I have planned for tomorrow.I am going to relax for the rest of the day when I got home.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ