Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a day with mixed emotions and quite a few complicated things.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed in a hurry as my locally living sister was going to take me to my appointment with the nurse practitioner at the local hospital.
The session with her went well and I got my new prescription for my current medication.I called my locally living sister to pick me up,which she did and she headed to drop me off at home.
On the way,she stopped at the drug store so I could drop off my prescription and pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for the items,she dropped me off at home and I went into the house.I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I headed back out again to do what I had to do and pick up a few slices of pizza for a late lunch.I headed straight home and when I got home,I relaxed and ate my late lunch and did some more personal PC work when I was done eating it.I also relaxed and listened to a little bit of music.
In between these things,the mechanic came over to see what he could do in regards to my car's shifter problem.He directed me to a covered hole near the shifter on the right and he simply instructed me to put the tip of a screwdriver into that hole very deeply and push the button to shift into either drive or reverse.After he showed me that,I tried it,but still had some difficulty trying to get it to work,but after a few tries,I finally got it and I parked the car into the driveway.Later on,I did all the aforementioned things that I had to do.
After eating a light evening meal,I was hoping to head over to the usual Thursday night study group,but learned earlier in the evening that they were canceling the study group tonight due to the weather.I simply relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.I still also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well and it was great.I then prepared for my evening retirement.
Today,as I said,was a day of mixed emotions and complications,with the problems involving my car being the main contributor and root cause of the mixed emotions that I was feeling and the complications that I had endured today.I have been feeling really stressed as a result of these things.My mind was rambling and I was also talking to myself so much and regarding my difficulties in regards to my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation by lusting and fantasizing with sexual images of men clouding my mind and I also manipulated my genitals to the point where I reached orgasm and I finished it off by masturbation to ejaculation.I really felt miserable when I did this and after washing my hands,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also begged for his mercy as I prayed because I really felt terrible for sinning against my Heavenly Father.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out.I poured out everything to him and I begged for his mercy and for his forgiveness.When I was finished,I felt a lot better and I knew that I was forgiven.I am still working on trying to say to these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I own them and not the other way around.I have to show them that I am not a slave to them anymore.I also have to show them that these unnatural sexual desires that I have that I won't let them dictate nor define who I am as a person.Fellow blog followers,please continue to keep me in your prayers as I am going through this rough emotional time and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support from all of you as I am really going through a very difficult emotional time.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.I am just hoping that tomorrow isn't the day like I had today.I am afraid that I really won't know whether I am coming or going if it is.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair,but stressful,day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had a couple cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda today.I first had lunch at a local kitchen and after that,I went to a nearby Dollar Tree store and picked up a couple of things.After that,I headed over to the Wednesday afternoon study group,which went well.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After that,I headed straight home.
After I dropped something off at a neighbor's house,my shift lever quit working on me.I couldn't shift the lever into drive as the button on the lever wasn't working as it wouldn't go in so I could shift into drive.I had to leave the car parked on the street and I took everything out of the car that I bought and carried it to the house.I put everything away the minute that I went in and waited for someone to come and check and see what was wrong,which was my nephew and he told me that the plastic in the shift lever was broken.After he left,I went back into the house.While waiting,I had my evening meal and just decided to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair,but stressful,day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I wound up giving into temptation by fantasies and lusting and also,manipulating my genitals to the images and masturbating also.I immediately went to my Heavenly Father for forgiveness and I asked him to forgive me for my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also begged for my Heavenly Father's mercy as I prayed and after I was finished,I felt better.I really need to start relying on my Heavenly Father now and ask him to get me through this negative thing that I am going through with my car being out of commission for now.I am just hoping that they problem can be fixed without having to get anything new for the shifter.Fellow blog followers,please continue in prayer for me and please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word of two for me in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support right now more than ever as I am now going through a very difficult emotional time right now.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continues positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of seeing the nurse practitioner at the local hospital,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda for today.My niece called me and asked me to pick her kids up at school,which I did.After dropping them off at home,I made a couple of phone calls to the bank to check my account balance and also,to make an appointment with a eye doctor for Monday afternoon.After that,I got some gas and I went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those,I went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple more things.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I went and did a little bit more personal PC work.
After eating a light evening meal,I watched a classic TV episode on a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.After that,I did a little bit more personal PC work.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still struggling daily with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,in regards to my SSA struggles,there were no problems.I had no temptations to lust and fantasize with sexual images of men.I simply stayed busy by doing what I had to do.I did get tempted to look up online pornography,but chose to simply close off the internet and get off the computer.I stayed busy by being out in the community and doing what needed to be done.It took my mind off of anything sexual and that was good.While I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.It is not that I am worried about tomorrow,which I am not,but I have to stay on guard and be watchful as the temptations to act out on the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA can come around when least expected.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continues positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of attending the Wednesday afternoon Holy Bible study group at the usual meeting place.I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had a coups of coffee.After that,I showered and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I got dressed and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and watched a classic TV episode on DVD.As the afternoon wound down,I got a call from the garage that my car was done.It was only a minor problem and that relieved me.After picking my car up,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to see if the vision center there could fix my glasses,but they couldn't and advised me to call the eye doctor that had these made to see what he could do.After leaving there,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I was about to sit down and watch another classic TV episode when my next door neighbor called me and said she needed to go to a local supermarket to pick up a few things she needed.I took her there and she got everything that she needed and after that was done,I dropped her off and I headed back into the house to relax and I watched another classic TV episode on DVD.
After eating,I decided to do a little bit more personal PC work and started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.The SSA struggle is my most difficult one.I have to continuously put up with sexual images of men clouding my mind and repeated temptations to act out on these images.It is a very difficult thing to deal with and it is never an easy thing to struggle with.I am always at odds with the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Day after day,it gets even more difficult to deal and struggle with.I am now making a new resolve to start praying regularly to my Heavenly Father to give me strength to fight and resist these terrible urges.I am going to ask for this strength each and every day whenever these terrible temptations rare their ugly heads at me.These urges get stronger with each resistance.I need to ask for this strength to help me fight and resist these terrible urges in the name of my Heavenly Father's son Jesus Christ.That way,I will have the strength to help me fight and resist these urges every day and I can go on with the rest of the day.Fellow blog followers,while I am doing that,I am still asking that y'all continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support to help keep me going.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't be afraid to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I got dressed up in a suit real quickly and I waited for a ride to church as my car is in the shop waiting to get looked at to see what is wrong with it.When my ride showed up,I got into the van and we headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,my ride took me home and the person wanted me to let them know what is up with my car once I hear something.I told them that I would and after he dropped me off,I got into the house to get out of my suit and into my sweatsuit.I did my personal PC work and I decided to catch up on some much needed cleaning work in my old upstairs room.After that was done,I relaxed and took it easy.
After eating,I decided to watch a DVD that I popped into the DVD player and I relaxed.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitalia to sexual images of men clouding my mind and I lusted and fantasized with these images,but I managed to stop myself before it went too far.When I did stop myself,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my sins.I asked him for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out as I prayed.I opened up everything to my Heavenly Father and I left nothing out.After I was finished,I felt much better and I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.After what happened today,I really need to get tough on myself and be on guard.I also must be watchful as Satan and his minions are out there trying to get anyone who worships the sovereign Lord and creator,our Heavenly Father,to sin grievously against him.Satan and his minions are responsible for getting people to sin and also,they are responsible for getting those with SSA to sin by acting out on the unnatural desires that they have that are connected with SSA.He also tries to get people who struggle,such as myself,to surrender to those unnatural sexual desires that we have that are connected with SSA and Satan and his minions will stop at nothing until they get what they want.As stated,I need to get tough on myself and work on staying on guard and being watchful for Satan's tricks.I need to really start praying for strength whenever these temptations come around when least expected.I do need to get tough and say to myself "I won't act out.I must pray to strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations.I must go to my Heavenly Father and ask him for that strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ."The thing is that there are man ways that anyone who struggles with SSA can act out aside from searching out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,such as watching pornography,fantasies,lusting and masturbating to the images of men that at times can cloud minds,which is the lusting and fantasizing part.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me as I am going through this difficult time and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.They both help keep me going and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome and heal from this terrible SSA.They really both help in a lot of ways.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of finding out what is wrong with my car,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

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Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and had two cups of coffee.After that,I had my usual quick breakfast and when I was finished,I got dressed and dropped my car off at a local garage to get looked at.Late last night,I experienced a foul smelling odor coming out of my exhaust and decided to have the garage look at it today.After dropping it off,I walked from the garage and stopped at a local drug store to pick up a few things.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and after a few minutes rest,I showered and when I was done with that,I did my personal PC work and I relaxed for the rest of the day watching a movie that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I decided to relax and pop another movie in the DVD player and watch it.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and I wound up masturbating to ejaculating to these images.I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my sins and I begged for his mercy as I prayed.I asked him for these things in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I did feel miserable after giving into these terrible temptations.I hate this struggle as it does nothing to enhance life at all.It simply brings shame and regret due to the sinful and selfish nature that it creates and cares only about itself rather than the individual who struggles with this terrible SSA condition.I really need to buckle down and get really tough on myself as I hate the sinful sexual activity connected with this terrible SSA.I need to really go to my Heavenly Father and pray really hard to him whenever temptation rears it's ugly head at me.I need to really pray hard and ask for strength to help me fight and resist these urges to sin by acting out with fantasies and lusting.I need to really pour this on my Heavenly Father and really ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to give me strength to help me fight and resist.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me as I am going through a very rough time emotionally as a result of me being without my car and not knowing how he is going to do things until his car is back on the road again.I also please ask that you don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section as I really need both prayerful and positive verbal support right now.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

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Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and had a couple cups of coffee.After that,I relaxed for a bit and had my usual quick breakfast.After I was done eating that,I decided to do some personal PC work and after that was done,I showered quickly and when I was finished with my shower,I got dressed and proceeded to get on with the rest of my day.
I didn't have too much to do today.I went to the bank to withdraw a little bit of money and after that,I decided to visit with a friend of mine who I hadn't spoken to in quite a while.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did a little bit more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to relax and enjoy a little bit of music.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I was tempted to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men as sexual images of men were clouding my mind.I was also tempted to manipulate my genitals to these images and the temptation was really strong and unrelenting.I immediately threw the temptation on my Heavenly Father and I asked him for strength to help me fight and resist these urges as they were very overwhelming.I prayed and prayed for that strength and I asked my Heavenly Father for it in the name of his Jesus Christ.After I was finished praying,I felt better and also,much stronger.I thanked my Heavenly Father for giving me the strength and went on with the rest of the day.Though I escaped today,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.I have to stay on guard and be watchful as these urges can come when least expected.When they do,I will simply ask my Heavenly Father again for the strength to help me fight and resist these urges and I will ask for that strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.Since renewing my resolve with my Heavenly Father,I have been feeling better and also,I know that he has been hearing me as I truly felt him today as I prayed for that strength to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges that came at me today.I am also going to ask that y'all who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some words of positive encouragement.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day from my fellow blog followers,especially if they also struggle with SSA like I do and want to help others who also struggle,such as myself.I would really appreciate prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continues positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my Holy Bible study groups in the morning and evening,I haven't made any other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda for today.I first had to pick up my niece's kids from school to take them home.After dropping them off at home,I headed for my own home to register a few bills at the Where's George site.After doing that,I helped my neighbor out by taking her out so she could do her shopping.After that was done,I dropped her off at home and I headed out to do some stuff that I needed to do.
I first went to a gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed over to a nearby Salvation Army thrift store to look around and not buy anything.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to buy a few things and after paying for them,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to visit with a friend to see how he was.After a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries that I bought away and I did a little bit more personal PC work.
After eating a light meal,I watched a classic TV episode on DVD and I did a little bit more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.I am still taking my medication for the former and I deal with it when I have to deal with it.Regarding the latter struggle of SSA,I had to renew my resolve with my Heavenly Father because I had fallen back into the trap of habitual sin.I fell back into it because during the time that I was sick with the terrible stomach virus,I neglected my prayer relationship with my Heavenly Father because I didn't pray very much if not at all during my illness.As a result of that,Satan and his minions started moving in and started taking control of me.I fell again to sexual images of men clouding my mind and I also manipulated my genitals to these impure and unclean images.I also wound up masturbating to the images and each and every time that I fell,I was miserable and felt so unworthy.I even gave into the temptations today as well.I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him and I left nothing out.I revealed everything to my Heavenly Father and asked for his mercy and forgiveness for my sinning against him.I did feel better,but later on,I prayed again by renewing my resolve with my Heavenly Father.My renewing my resolve to my Heavenly Father simply means putting my struggles with SSA into his hands again and let him work with me and transforming me.I threw the entire struggle again on my Heavenly Father and asked him to help me overcome my SSA and to help me heal from SSA.I prayed for about ten minutes and after I finished,I felt renewed and I can continue throwing everything on my Heavenly Father and ask him to help me get through it all and also,to help me overcome and heal.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support by my fellow blog followers each and every day.I struggle with SSA and prayers and positive verbal support really help here with this particular struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a lot better and I managed to get out and do some necessary stuff today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I proceeded to get on and catch up with some stuff that I needed to get done.
I mailed out an important thing today and I also made yet another important payment as well.I couldn't do these things last week as a result of the terrible Winter storm that we had and after those were done,I did a little bit of shopping and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I started to prepare my evening meal.I was really hungry from all the running that I did today and it was wonderful that I got everything that needed to get done accomplished.I am now all caught up on everything and I can now relax and take it easy.
After eating,I decided to do some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good and busy day for me.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
I am hoping to start sharing my struggles again very soon.Please continue praying for me and please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance for doing so as I really appreciate both of these things.FJ

Tonight,I am actually starting to feel a lot better and I think that I am almost at 100% relief.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I proceeded to head for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.I also did a reading from the Holy Bible in front of the congregation today.After the service was over,we had a lunchtime brunch in the fellowship hall and the food was delicious.I had a couple of helpings and after some wonderful talks with many of my fellow worshipers,I helped with the clean-up and I headed for home once that was done.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I got out of my suit and changed into my sweatsuit.I did my personal PC work and I relaxed for much of the afternoon while listening to some music.
Since I ate a lot at the church lunchtime brunch,I decided to have a light evening meal of a bowl of chicken ramen noodle soup.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
I will start my usual reporting of my struggles on Monday evening,hopefully.Please continue to pray for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance for doing so.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling much better and hopefully soon,I will be at 100% relief.I did manage to get a lot done today thanks to my family helping me out.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had a couple cups of coffee.After that,I jumped into the shower to clean myself up.While I was in the shower,my niece's live in boyfriend came over and plowed out my driveway.I also helped out by backing my car out of the driveway so he could go all the way and really open up things for me.I simply went around the block a couple of times while he did this.After he was done,I thanked him and as he was leaving,I drove my car back into the driveway and went back into the house.I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work and after that was done,I had a light lunch and after that,I went out to do some much needed shopping at the local Super Wal-Mart.After I was done with that,I headed straight home.
When I gt home,I put the groceries away and I did a little bot more personal PC work while preparing my evening meal.This was my first real evening meal since my process in getting relieved from this terrible stomach virus that kept me bed-ridden and afraid to eat anything solid for fear I was going to vomit it all up.
After eating,I did a little bot more personal PC work and when I was finished with that,I relaxed and enjoyed some TV.
While I have been feeling better and I am slowly recovering,it will still take some time before I am at 100% relief.I did have my first full meal in a long time and I enjoyed it.I haven't thrown up as of yet and if I can get through tonight without throwing up,great and also,I have shown some significant improvement.
Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some encouraging words in the comments section.Thanks.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better,though still not fully 100% better.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I relaxed for much of the day.I had a couple cups of coffee upon getting up out of bed.I held off showering for a while and simply took it easy for much of the morning.In the mid afternoon,I decided to go to a local drug store to pick up a few food items that I needed for myself.Until my driveway is dug out so I can start driving my car again soon,I had to walk there in the cold winds and the drifting snow.I made it to and from there and the walk actually did me some good.I got some air and exercise and my stomach wasn't as queasy as it has been.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and had myself a bowl of cereal and after that,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I finally showered.When I was done showering,I put my sweatsuit back on and I relaxed for a bit while enjoying some soothing music.
I had myself a bowl of chicken ramen noodles soup for dinner.After I was done eating that,I took my medication and started to prepare for my evening retirement.It was a pretty fair day and I did manage to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well,which I have still been doing,though I haven't reported it on here in a while.I am still hoping to be back at 100% relief very soon.
Please continue praying for me and please leave me some positive encouraging words in the comments section as well.Thanks in advance.FJ

Tonight,though I have slowly improved,I am still not at 100% relief as of yet.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I had a couple cups of coffee.For much of the day,I didn't shower and just relaxed.I did have my usual quick breakfast a few hours before I finally showered.After my shower,I had myself a cup of unsalted chicken bouillon and relaxed again.
I did try to shovel the snow outside,but it was much too heavy for me to shovel.I did manage to put my car back into place by the back porch because last night,I put rock salt underneath the front wheels and this freed them from the place where they were stuck.
Since I couldn't go anywhere today as a result of the snow storm,I simply stayed home and rested.Though I have improved a little over the past couple of days,I am still feeling queasiness in my stomach as a result of the terrible stomach virus that I had for a while.I will try to continue following doctor's orders by drinking plenty of liquids and maybe hopefully,I can start eating solid food again.For now,I just have to settle for liquids and hope for the best.
I did manage to get my personal PC work done.
Please continue praying for me and please continue to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.Thanks.FJ

Tonight,I am reporting only a little bit of relief,but still not 100% as of yet.
This morning,when I got out of bed,I received a phone call from my general doctor's office that since I was in the office on Monday,I didn't have to go in today.After that,I had a couple cups of coffee to start the morning and showered to clean myself up.After the shower,I had my usual quick breakfast.After eating my morning meal,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to do some snow shoveling and to try to get out to do some much needed stuff,but I couldn't get out of my driveway and right now,my car is stuck in the middle and it won't budge anywhere.Disappointed,I went back into the house and I am hoping that by tomorrow,once the snow stops falling,I can try to see if there is a way for me to get out so I can do what I have to do.I might have to put some snow and ice melting salt on my front wheels and try to see if that will loosen them up so I can further into the driveway and try to shovel a little more.I am hoping to get out a little so I can get what I have to get done accomplished.Right now,I see that I am stuck in the house until I can get someone to help me or vice versa.It stinks that my car is stuck midway into the driveway and it is hell trying to get it out of where it is stuck.Again,I am hoping for this snow fall to end so I can get out and do what I have to do.
Today,I was surprised that I didn't vomit after eating or drinking something today.Maybe I am getting better.Maybe I am starting to progress to finally being relieved from this terrible stomach virus.I am hoping that I will be at 100% soon.Tonight,I had myself a cup of sodium free chicken bouillon and it was great.I didn't throw up and I am hoping that I won't throw up.If I don't,then maybe I can start eating regularly again.I am not going to rush into anything,but I am hoping that I will start feeling 100% better soon.
I will start reporting on my struggles regularly again once I am feeling 100% better.Until then,please continue praying for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word of two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for both your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.FJ

Tonight,I am still not feeling any better,but tomorrow,I have another appointment as a follow-up to blood tests and other tests from yesterday as a result of my bout with this terrible stomach virus.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and had a couple cups of coffee.For much of the morning,I sat down and took it easy and actually neglected to take a shower today.I wasn't feeling so very good today and the only thing really important that I did for today was that I went to the local hospital to drop off another specimen for testing to see what could be wrong and why I can't seem to shake loose this stomach virus.Again,I have another appointment with my general doctor as a follow-up tomorrow.I am hoping that all goes well and that I can start getting relief soon.I am really tired of being sick with this stomach virus and it is really taking a toll on me emotionally.
Today,when I got home from the hospital,I took my Prilosec pill with a glass of fresh water and I laid down for a while.Over an hour later,I got up out of bed to vomit.The vomit was actually painful and it's a wonder that I didn't choke on it.I laid back down after that and later on,I had to vomit again and it was water that I drank and nothing else.After taking my psychiatric medication,I laid down again,but knew that I needed to go out again and get some much needed supplies.I needed to get ice melting stuff and I went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick it up.All they had was rock salt and I bought a couple of bags alongside a couple of other things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I opened up a bag of rock salt and I spread it out all over the ice on the back porch and the walkway leading to the front porch.I also spread some on the sidewalk in front of the house.After that was done,I went back into the house and put my night clothes back on to prepare for my evening retirement.
I will start reporting regularly again on my struggles once I am at 100%.Until then,please keep me in your prayers and please leave me some words of encouragement in the comments section.Thanks very much.FJ

Tonight,I am still not at fully 100% with this terrible stomach ailment.
Today,I woke up in the morning and had a couple cups of coffee.After a while of sitting up,I decided to shower quickly and after that was done,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed as I had an appointment with my general doctor today due to my bout with the stomach virus.
The doctor simply advised me to drink plenty of water and to try to eat some food.After that,I headed over to the local hospital to have blood work done and after that,I headed for home.
When I got home,I got into my sweatsuit and I laid down for a while.
I ate another light dinner of chicken noodle soup.After that,I did some more personal PC work.It was a pretty fair day,but it was also a little bit eventful.
I will start reporting regularly when I am back at 100%.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks.FJ

Tonight,I have regressed a little since yesterday.I was starting to feel better until I vomit a couple of times this afternoon.
Today,I got out of bed and I showered quickly.I ate my usual quick breakfast after that and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I quickly got dressed up into a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to buy a couple of microwavable chow mein lunches and after paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my sweatsuit.I had one of my chow mein lunches and after I was finished with it,I threw it up into the bathroom toilet.After that,I took a little bit of Pepto-Bismal and laid down for a while.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work and later on,I tried eating the other chow mein,but again,after I ate that,I vomited it all back up and I really don't know why.Yesterday,I had a slice of pizza and a Whopper Jr.sandwich at a local Burger King and I didn't throw these up.Later on this evening,I went to a local Wendy's and had a cheeseburger and fries and I also didn't throw these up either.Very strange.Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my general doctor and I am hoping that he can get me back on the right track.
When I got back from Wendy's,I put my sweatsuit on and I prepared for my evening retirement.I took a little bit more Pepto-Bismal before going to sleep and I am hoping that it does some good.
I am still not at 100%.When I am,I will start reporting regularly on my issues and all.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks.FJ

Tonight,I am still feeling under the weather,but I am improving and I hope to continue improving in the days ahead.
Today,I went out to run a few errands that needed to be run.I first went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things that I needed.After that,I went to the small cafe within the supermarket and decided to have a slice of pepperoni pizza.After eating that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few more things.After that,I decided to have a sandwich at the nearby Burger King.I was surprised that the food that I ate stayed down,so I guess that I am feeling a little bit better.I headed straight home afterwards.
When I got home,I put the stuff away and I headed over to my niece's house to pick up my laundry.After that,I headed straight back home and stayed home for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I put my laundry bag in my room and I did my personal PC work.It took a while to get done,but I got it done.After that,I relaxed and prepared for my evening retirement.
As I stated previously here,I do have an appointment with my general doctor in regards to my bout with the terrible stomach virus that I had last week that was hell for me during the time that I had it.Right now,though I am feeling marginally better,I am still feeling queasiness in my stomach.I am simply going to take some more Pepto-Bismal before I turn in for the evening and hope for the best.
I will start reporting regularly on my struggles when I am at 100%.In the meantime fellow blog followers,please keep up in prayer for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance for that.FJ

Tonight,I am still not fully 100% as of yet.I am still feeling pains in my stomach,but I am still feeling hopeful and I am hoping that I will fully recover soon.
I was hoping to get out today and do some things,but I stayed home today to take it easy.I watched a few classic TV show episodes on DVD and again,took it easy.
I did make an appointment with my general doctor for Monday afternoon.I am still not only still feeling queasy in my stomach,but I am still going to the bathroom and spewing diarrhea rather than solid waste.The office of my general doctor simply advised me to continue drinking liquids throughout the day and to continue trying to eat something.The only thing that I have been eating is chicken noodle soup.I am afraid that if I start to eat anything solid,I will throw it back up.I don't want to take any chances.I am hoping that my general doctor can give me something that will help stop the flow of the liquid waste matter that has been coming out of me.I am hoping that this can be stopped with something.I have been taking various medications for this,mostly Pepto-Bismal.I am just hoping that I can get rid of this flow and start getting back to having solid waste again.I am already getting sick of having to go to the bathroom constantly because it is getting pretty monotonous.The stomach virus should have been out of my system by now,but I guess that it isn't.Again,I am hoping that the general doctor this coming Monday will have an idea on how I can stop the flow.Again,I am already tired of going to the bathroom constantly.I am simply going to take a little more Pepto-Bismal and hope for the best.
I will start reporting everything regularly when I feel 100% better to do it.Right now,I am simply going to report on this until I am better.Please keep me in your prayers fellow blog followers and don't forget to leave me some encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance for doing so.FJ

Tonight,I am still not feeling 100% as of yet.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I rested for much of the morning and I am still feeling queasiness in my stomach from my bout with the terrible stomach virus that I had last week.It isn't as bad as it was last week,but I am still feeling a stomach-ache from it all.I rested for much of the day and I did manage to take my shower and have my usual quick breakfast alongside my usual 2 cups of coffee.For the rest of the day after that,I lazed around the house trying to get rid of the queasy feeling that my stomach was feeling.I was miserable for much of the day as I tried everything to get rid of it,only to fail miserably.
I only left the house once today.It was to run an errand for my next door neighbor.She wanted me to pick up a couple of things for her and I went out and did just that.I also bought myself some upset stomach over the counter medicine and a six pack of sugar free ginger ale for myself.After paying for everything,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped off the stuff that I bought for my neighbor and to give her her change.She even gave me a few dollars for myself for helping her.After that,I headed into the house.
When I got into the house,I put the six pack of ginger ale away in a cupboard and took a dosage of the over the counter stomach remedy.After doing that,I laid down for a while so I could get some rest for my aching stomach.After that was over,I had a light meal of chicken noodle soup and relaxed for much of the rest of the evening.I did manage to do my personal PC work today,though I was late in getting it done.It was a pretty fair day for me today.
I will start reporting regularly once I am back at 100%.Please keep me in your prayers and don't forget to leave me some encouraging word or two in the comments section.FJ

Tonight,I am still making some progress in my recovery from my recent illness.I am feeling better,but I still have some ways to go.
Today,I got up out of bed and took a shower to clean myself.After that,my usual quick breakfast followed alongside my usual two cups of coffee.After my quick morning meal,I did my personal PC work.I also got dressed as I had a few things planned for today.
Today,I had to see my therapist.I headed for my therapist's office,though it was rough going.The roads were slick and slippery and I had to take my time getting there as I knew that I had to be careful.I made it there in one piece and the meeting went well.It was also tough going getting home,but I also made it home in one piece.I had to make a couple of important stops along the way and that was all the traveling that I did for today.
After I got home,I took it easy for a while and I had my evening meal.I then prepared for my evening retirement.It was a pretty good day and I did get quite a few things accomplished today.
I am leaving it here.I will start the regular process when I feel up to it.Please be patient and continue praying for me.Thanks to all of you for your prayers.FJ

Tonight,I am still in recovery from the terrible stomach virus that kept me in bed through the whole weekend and back and forth to the bathroom constantly.
Today,most of the pain continued to slowly go away.I still felt the stabbing pains in my stomach throughout the day,but this time,they weren't as bad as they were when the stomach virus that I had was in full fruition.Today,I actually managed to get some things done that I needed to get accomplished.Plus,I think that the fresh air that I had breathed in also benefited me,even though it was bitterly cold outside today.
Today,I went out to do some much needed snow shoveling.It took me a long time to get it done,but I got it done,I had to get out and do some much needed errands that I had to run.Before doing that,I showered and had my morning quick breakfast and two cups of coffee.
I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up several things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed while doing my personal PC work,which I put off for much of the day.After that was done,I relaxed and had a light evening meal.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,it was a pretty good day.
I will start reporting regularly on my struggles when I feel 100% or near it.All I ask is for your patience in this.Thanks.
That is my report for the day.FJ

Tonight,I am signing in for the first time since Thursday.I haven't signing in to post here as a result of a terrible illness.
On Thursday night,after signing off of here,I was hot with terrible pains within my stomach and digestive regions.They were really painful.I also got drowsy and after signing off,I went to bed.I was hoping and praying that I would feel better after the night,but I wasn't.
It actually got worse.The pain got more intense and I was also going to the bathroom constantly.Aside from the stomach pains,I had diarrhea and I was always changing my underpants every time I went as there were times my underpants got dirty because the run of liquid waste was faster than I.I was bed ridden for much of the weekend and the only time that I got up was when I had to use the bathroom.I was feeling intense pain and it was almost unbearable for me to handle.My family came though for me as they bought me chicken noddle soup and to eat and ginger ale to drink.My niece also got me Pepto-Bismal to help with my stomach.During the entire weekend,I didn't shower nor watch any TV or listen to any music.I just laid down in bed for the vast majority of the time trying to get healed from this terrible whatever it was that was making me terribly sick.I did manage to get some dishes done,which was three days old and that was the only thing that I did do.
Fortunately today,I started feeling better.I actually managed to have a bowl of honey nut cheerios and a couple cups of coffee.I was having diarrhea as much today,though I did still make some trips to the bathroom.I even showered for the first time since Thursday and was glad that I was now fully clean.After the shower,I had a lot of personal PC work to catch up on and I did it.I also managed to go out and do some much needed snow shoveling and after that was done,I relaxed again and took it easy.I also planned for my evening retirement.
I will start reporting regularly hopefully by tomorrow.
I just thought that I would share what was going on the last few days.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I was hoping to go to my usual Thursday morning Holy Bible study group,but due to the Winter weather conditions in my hometown,I stayed home.I also had a pounding headache and I took something for it and I laid down for a while and didn't get back up until the pain was gone.I laid down for a little over an hour and I got back up.I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda for today.I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up some toothpaste and light bulbs,but they were out of the light bulbs,so I bought the toothpaste and headed over to a local Dollar General store to get the light bulbs.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the toothpaste and the light bulbs away away.I also did some more personal PC work.After that,the pain in my head came back and I took something again for it and laid down for a little over an hour.
After eating,I was hoping to go to my Thursday evening Holy Bible study group,but got an e-mail stating that it was canceled.I simply stayed home and took it easy for the evening.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I was tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have by fantasies,lusting and to manipulate my genitals to these unwholesome images of men that were clouding my mind.I immediately went to my Heavenly Father and asked him for the strength to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out.I prayed for that strength and after I was finished,I felt better and much stronger.Since I had a headache,I laid down and rested for a while.Fellow blog followers,please keep up in prayer for me and also,please don't forget to leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support to help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,since my hometown will be under a Winter Weather Advisory,I am simply going to stay home and take it easy.I will only go out if I have to.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things on my agenda for today.I first went to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed for myself.After that,I headed over to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I out what I had bought away and I relaxed while doing some more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and watch it.After that,I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult struggle for me.This morning,after I got out of bed and sat up for a while,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals and yes,there were sexual images of men clouding my mind while that happened.Fortunately for me,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out.I bared everything out as I prayed and when I was finished,I felt better and I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.Later on,the temptations did come back,but this time,I turned the temptation over to my Heavenly Father and asked him for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and I asked him to keep me strong and to help me fight and resist.I didn't want to fall again like I did earlier this morning when I first got out of bed.After praying,I felt better and stronger as I truly believed that I received what I asked my Heavenly Father for.Satan and his minions are really harping me now.They knew that I have given my SSA struggle over to my Heavenly Father and asked him to help me become the man that he intended me to be and the man that he wants me to be.The minions of Satan and Satan himself are not going to let up as they are going to continue harping me with every immoral image of men and any immoral images of anything connected with the lustful practices of the so called "Gay" Lifestyle.I now know that I must stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions will now try anything to get me to sin against my Heavenly Father and his perfect law.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me and also,please make sure that you leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both of these things desperately.Regarding comments,they can simply be upbuilding scriptures or phrases.They can also be words of advice to me on how I can continue in this fight and struggle against this terrible SSA condition.Don't be shy.Leave me anything positive,upbuilding and encouraging.Please continue in prayer for me also.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for all that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of both my Thursday morning and evening Holy Bible study groups,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
Today,it was a really COLD day here in my hometown.I only had a couple of things on my agenda for today.I first went to the post office to mail out an important bill that needed to be paid.After that,I stopped at the local Salvation Army thrift store to look around and managed to score a few nice things.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed back into my sweatsuit and I relaxed for a bit.I also did a little bit of reading while doing so.
After eating,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.After that,I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against the BPD/Schizophrenia and the terrible SSA.Today,I was tempted minimally to act out by fantasies and lusting and also,for the first time in quite a while,I was tempted to look up pornography online while I was initially on the computer.When that latter temptation came around,I decided to simply close off the internet and get away from the computer for a while.I went out and I did what I had to do today out in the community and it was good that the important things that I had to do took my mind off of the sexual stuff and that was great.I simply stayed busy and it kept my mind clean of anything immoral.Though I did escape today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers,please keep me in your prayers and also,please don't hesitate to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support day in and day out.I need to stay alive,well and best of all,alert and positive verbal encouragement and prayers do help a lot,especially when it comes to the difficult and terrible SSA struggle,which does nothing to enhance lives,but only to lead people to live a destructive and dangerous lifestyle that can lead to AIDS later on and that is something that I don't want to live at all.I am glad that I am free from enslavement to the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected to SSA and the path of destruction and danger that many who are still enslaved to that sinful sexual lifestyle that only destroys lives rather than enhances them.Please continue praying and leaving some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for all that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with a Wind Chill Advisory that will be in effect until almost noon tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had a couple cups of coffee.I was still feeling a little bit drowsy trying to be fully awake.I did lay back down for about a half hour and when I got up again,I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast.After I was done eating breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed and was hoping to get out to Best Buy in another area within the county that I live,but the cold snowy day made me change plans.I simply went out to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a small thing that I needed.After paying for that,I headed to a nearby gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed over to a local pizzeria to pick up a few slices of pizza to tie me over until dinner.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed back into my sweatsuit and enjoyed my slices of pizza.After eating them,I did some more personal PC work and when that was done,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating dinner,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.After that,I did some more personal PC work.I then made plans for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I was tempted during the early morning hours upon getting out of bed to indulge in fantasies and lusting with various sexual images of men and to manipulate my genitals to these various sexual images.I immediately threw the temptation on my Heavenly Father and asked for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist these urges,which were very overwhelming.I prayed real hard and left nothing out.I poured out my soul and asked for that strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations.After praying,I felt much stronger and the temptation was reduced to nil.I went on throughout the day with no worries.I stayed out in the community for much of the day and that took my mind off of those terrible and unclean images.It was wonderful to be out and about for only a short time in the community,though it was bitterly cold and there was snow falling and blowing everywhere around.Fellow blog followers,though I am trying to get my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ more involved in my struggles by continuing to pray for strength,I am again asking that y'all continue praying for me as I am still going through a rough time.I also ask that y'all to please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and continuous positive verbal support day in and day out.It helps keep me going and also,it helps strengthen my self confidence and self esteem.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.I also did another reading in front of the congregation and it was also Holy Communion Day.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up some stuff that I needed.After paying for everything,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I got out of my suit.I changed into my sweatsuit and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I had a mild headache and I took something for it.I laid down for a while and I woke up almost two hours later.I got out of bed and prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I was tempted to act out on the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA by fantasies and lusting and to manipulate my genitals to these.I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer when these temptations came about.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges.They were very difficult and I prayed real hard to my Heavenly Father for this strength and I left nothing out.I told all to him and I asked for that strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations.After praying,I felt much stronger as the temptation was reduced to nil and I simply dozed off in bed so that my headache could go away.I went on for the rest of the day with no problems as I kept my mind on the tasks at hand throughout the house.Though I did escape unscathed today,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.I am again asking that y'all who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some words of positive verbal encouragement.I need both of these things day in and day out.It also assures me that I am not alone in the SSA struggle and the positive verbal encouragement also helps keep my self confidence and self esteem strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and after having a light lunch,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.Since it was a pretty bitterly cold day,I put my long thermal underwear on before putting my clothes on.
I had a few things on my agenda for today.I first went to the local Radio Shack to pick up a few fuses for my stereo receiver.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a gallon of milk.After that,I headed to a local supermarket that was across the street to pick up a small jar of pizza sauce.After that,I stopped at the drug store to pick up my my prescription medication.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries that I bought away and I inserted a brand new fuse in the back of my stereo receiver and now,my stereo is working beautifully.After that,I changed into my sweatsuit and did some more personal PC work.After that,I relaxed and took it easy while reading.
After eating,I watched a little TV and I did some more personal PC work.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the worst of my struggles.Today,as soon as I got up out of bed,I fell by giving into the temptation to manipulate my genitals and yes,sexual images of men and even transgendered people were crossing my mind.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out because my Heavenly Father always wants to know everything that is there and he knows when I am hiding and/or leaving something out.I prayed real hard for my heavenly Father's forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after I was finished praying,I felt relieved and much better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.After that,I went on with my day with no worries.I stayed out for some of the day and I kept my mind on things.It helped me take my mind off of the negative things associated with SSA and kept my mind on constructive and needful things.Though I did escape the rest of the with no worries,I know that there is tomorrow and the days ahead.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me and please don't be afraid to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section as I both need prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had only a couple of things for today.I first went to the bank to withdrew some money.After doing that,I headed over to a nearby gas station to get some gas.After that,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the bills that I withdrew at the Where's George site.After that was done,I did more personal PC work and when that was done,I relaxed for a bit.
After eating early tonight,I left the house again to go to a Celebrate Recovery group in another area of the county where I live.I headed there with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group meeting was wonderful.I met some wonderful men there and I shared a lot.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my night clothes and prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,with the SSA struggle being my most difficult.Today,I was tempted only minimally to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect to this temptation to fantasize and lust.When the temptation hit,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength.I prayed real hard and left nothing out.I asked for the strength to fight and resist these temptations.I ask for this strength because I can't fight and resist without it.It is what the scripture at James 4:7b says about resisting the devil and he will flee from you.The thing is that Satan himself will run away from me for the time being,but he will come back and make the temptations even stronger.The more resistance is put up,the more stronger the temptation comes back because Satan and his minions make sure of that.I escaped today unscathed thanks to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.Though I did escape today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.Fellow blog followers,I am again asking that y'all continue in prayer for me and also,please don't be afraid of leaving me an encouraging word or two in the comments.I still need both prayerful and positive verbal support real badly.Please leave me some positive verbal encouragement and please also continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the upcoming weekend,with the exception of going to church on Sunday,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,which went as well as usual.After that was over,I headed for a local kitchen for lunch.After eating lunch,I decided to take a drive to locate a church where a Celebrate Recovery group is being held this and every Friday.I succeeded in finding it and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to turn in some empty cans and bottles.After collecting the money for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my sweatsuit and did some more personal PC work while relaxing for a bit.After that,I relaxed and did a little bit of reading.
After eating,I got dressed and headed over to my Thursday evening Holy Bible study group,which also went wonderfully well.After that was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into some night clothes and prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,with the SSA struggle the most difficult of the two.I have to put up with the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA and at times,it can be both energy draining and emotionally exhausting.Today,soon after I got out of bed,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images that were clouding my mind.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went to far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for falling short in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling and I prayed real hard for my Heavenly Father to forgive me.I felt better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.Later on in the day,I was plagued by the temptation to do it again,but this time,I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and threw the terrible temptation on him.I asked him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist the overwhelming temptation that was trying to take over me.I threw it all on my Heavenly Father.In this way,I was showing that terrible temptation that I owned it and not it owning me.I prayed real hard for the strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.After I was finished praying,I felt much stronger and I also felt nothing in terms of temptations.I felt stronger and also,much better.Fellow blog followers,though I have been doing this and I am still working on it,I am again asking that y'all who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both of these things to help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.Please continue offering your prayerful and positive verbal support by leaving me a comment or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of attending a Celebrate Recovery group in the evening,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I got dressed real quickly.After getting dressed,I headed over to the local hospital to get that much needed blood work done.After it was all over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I showered quickly and I had my usual breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After I had my breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed again as I had to leave the house again for a few important things.
I stopped at the house of a friend of the family and picked up something that they were saving for me.After that,I headed over to a local close out store to buy a box of cereal.After that,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a bottle of salad dressing.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed back into my sweatsuit and I did some more personal PC work while relaxing.After that,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.I also relaxed and did a little bit more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Though I am still slowly getting into the swing of this,I am working on making frequent prayer throughout the day a part of my life.Today,I was minimally tempted to fantasize,lust and manipulate my genitals to unwholesome images of men,but I turned these terrible and overwhelming temptations to my Heavenly Father and asked him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to fight and resist these temptations.I prayed real hard and left nothing out.After I was finished,I felt stronger and moved on with the rest of the day and I was plagued by temptations like I have been plagued with in the weeks and days before.It is great that I am now relying on my own Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ more than ever before and the feeling that I am getting is wonderful.While I am doing this and still working on it,I am again asking that all of my fellow blog followers to please continue praying for me.I also would appreciate a kind and encouraging word or two in the comments section as I need both prayerful and positive verbal support day in and day out.It also helps keep me going and builds both my self confidence and self esteem.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of both my morning and evening Holy Bible study groups,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and though originally I was going to go to the local hospital for that much needed blood work to be done,I chose to put it off until tomorrow as I wasn't up to doing it.I simply jumped into the shower and cleaned myself up.After that,I ate my usual quick breakfast and had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that was done,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I only a couple of things on my agenda for today.I first went to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby Burger King for a sandwich.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and decided to do some more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and watch it.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I was tempted again to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and to manipulate my genitals to these unclean and unwholesome images.Again,I turned the temptations over to my Heavenly Father and I prayed for strength to help me fight and resist these urges,which were pretty overwhelming.I asked for this strength in the name of my Heavenly Father's son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard as these temptations were overwhelming and I also didn't want to grieve my Heavenly Father in any way by giving into these terrible temptations.I felt much better and much stronger after praying and I went on with my day.For the rest of the time being today,since I was out in the community,my mind was totally free of anything unclean,impure and unwholesome.I didn't want these unnatural desires that I have to won me.I wanted to show them that I owned them.Though I did escape unscathed today,I have to keep in mind that there is always tomorrow and the days after that.I have to my healing from this terrible SSA one day at a time.I also have to keep in mind that each and every time temptations are resisted,they can come back stronger than before and those terrible temptations can be very overwhelming at times.Fellow blog followers,while I am still working on the frequent prayers throughout the day for myself,I am again asking that y'all continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that y'all leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section as I do need some positive verbal support as much as I need prayerful support.Please do both of these things for me as both would be appreciated.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to the local hospital and getting that much needed blood work done,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I was hoping to go to the local hospital for blood work,but had a pounding headache.I simply showered and had my usual quick breakfast,alongside my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and when I was done,I took something for my headache and I laid down for a while and when the pain was all gone,I got up and got dressed as I had a few things on my agenda for today.
I first went to the public library to print something important from my e-mail and after that,I did a little shopping at a Goodwill thrift store nearby.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After that,I headed for a nearby gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I also did a little bit more personal PC work.
After eating a light evening meal,I decided to relax and watch a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.After that,I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,while I was laying down,I was tempted to fantasize and lust after other men and to also manipulate my genitals to these unclean and unwholesome sexual images of other men.I prayed to my Heavenly Father for strength,which I asked for in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard as I didn't want to give into any temptations.I am now in the starting process of showing these unnatural desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.I have now fully chosen to let my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ lead the way for me.I am now letting them take complete control and lead me in the right way to healing and wanting to become the whole man that I want to feel like and be.I want to get my true identity to come to the surface.I want to attain my true identity,which is male,as I am a male and aside from being my true identity,it is also my true sexual identity.Labels such as Heterosexual/Straight,Homosexual/Gay,including Bisexual,are just labels.Male is what I am and male is what I want to be as it is my true identity both gender and sexual.I felt much stronger after praying to my Heavenly Father for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also felt much better as I am now making it my resolve to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ more whenever temptation rears it's ugly head at me.Fellow blog followers,I am still going to ask y'all to continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Though I am praying and still working on making frequent prayer a part of my life,I still need prayers from all of you and some positive verbal support also.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of getting that much needed blood work done at the local hospital,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and put on my sweatsuit.Since I was feeling tired,I decided to lay down.I read for a bit before deciding to take a nap.I slept for about and hour and half before getting up and doing my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.I also relaxed while doing so.I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I was feeling tempted to act out with fantasies and lusting after other men that were clouding my mind.This time,I decided to turn the temptation over to my Heavenly Father.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges.I was also tempted to grab my genitals and manipulate them to these impure and unwholesome images.I also asked for strength to fight and resist that particular urge as well.After praying,I felt much better and also,much stronger.I felt and truly believed that my Heavenly Father gave me the strength that I asked for as I felt it.I also didn't have any problems with temptation for the rest of the day.I simply went on with my day and I had no temptations to deal with.I actually felt better knowing that my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ were leading the way for me.Though I did escape today unscathed,there is tomorrow and the days after that.I am still working on staying close to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ and relying more on them than on my own wits and power.Last night,before going to sleep,I prayed to my Heavenly Father really hard.I unloaded more and more on him.I also asked him to remove any anger,unforgiveness and every sort of negative emotions that I felt against everybody that I knew.I poured my soul out to him and I left nothing out.I bared all and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me let go and rid myself of all the negative emotions and other negativeness that I had for many of the people that I knew and also,I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ for forgiveness for even holding on to all of those things.When I was finished,I felt better and slept better than ever before.Fellow blog followers,while I am still working on drawing closer to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ in my daily life and in my striving to heal from this unwanted SSA,I am again asking that y'all continue praying for me and please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day.They both help keep me going.They also help increase my self confidence and self esteem.They also make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome and heal from this terrible SSA,which I do want to do.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a morning's trip to the local hospital to get some much needed blood work done,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ