Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast and when I was finished with that,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.When I was done with that,I headed out to do some running that needed to be done.
I first went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed and after that,I picked up a few slices of pizza as a late lunch.When I was finished with that,I picked up a DVD that was being held for me by a local business.After picking that up,I bought some things at a local Dollar Tree store and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player and I did some more personal PC work.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed top get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two.Today,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitalia upon arising and sitting down and yes,sexual images of men did cloud my mind.I stopped myself before it went to far and I immediately went to my Heavenly Father and asked him to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ for falling short and I also accepted full and total responsibility for my sins and falling short.I poured my soul out to him and I left nothing out.After I was finished praying,I felt better because I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.I need to really buckle down and get tough with myself because I can't keep doing these things.I need to go to my Heavenly Father and ask for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these terrible temptations come around.I need to really buckle down and go to my Heavenly Father and regularly ask for strength.I can't fall back into the trap of falling short and repenting each time.I need to go in prayer to my Heavenly Father whenever these terrible temptations come around.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me and also,I really need some positive verbal support right now.Please pray for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support day in and day out.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with a Winter Storm Warning in effect for my area beginning at 2:00am late Tuesday/early Wednesday morning,I have really nothing planned.If the storm gets too intense,I think that I might stay home to be on the safe side and watch a movie or two while trying to stay warm.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I heard from the garage and my car simply needed a tune-up and it was done quickly.After that,I showered quickly and I got dressed.I quickly did my personal PC work and when that was done,I walked over to the garage to pick up my car and after that,I decided to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had lots of grocery shopping to do as I was running out of food.I first went to a local supermarket to pick up a few packs of boneless meat steaks.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up some cereal,milk,pickles and orange juice,alongside some personal stuff that I needed.After paying for that,I headed over to another local supermarket to pick up a pack of boneless chicken breasts.After paying for them,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few more things that I needed.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the stuff away and I relaxed for a while.
After eating a light meal,I decided to do some more personal PC work and after that,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.I then proceeded to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the worst of the two.Today,upon arising,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals and yes,sexual images of men did cloud my mind.I also wound up ejaculating and I masturbated the rest of the way.I really felt miserable and ashamed of myself as a result.After washing my hands,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I accepted full and total responsibility for my falling short.I left nothing out and I admitted everything.I left nothing out as I poured my soul out to my Heavenly Father and after I was done,I felt better as I knew and believed that I was truly forgiven for my sins and I moved on with the rest of the day.I have to watch myself when I get up out of bed in the mornings.I have to stay on guard and be watchful as the morning time when I wake is the weakest time for me as my mind isn't fully awake,although I am up out of bed and my eyes are awake.I need to start jumping in the shower after having my usual 2 cups of coffee.I am still working on being tough with myself and do the needful things that I need to do in the morning so I don't give Satan and his minions what they want.Fellow blog followers,I really need your prayers right now.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.Please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Your encouraging words help out a great deal and they also motivate me to keep going,alongside the prayers.Please pray for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I got dressed up in a suit real quickly and I waited for my rode to church to come and when it did,we headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I was dropped off at home and when I got into the house,I got out of my suit and since I was still tired as a result of difficulty getting to sleep last night,I laid down for a little over 2 hours and when I got out of bed,I got dressed in my casual clothes and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I went to the drug store to pick up a few things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I started to put the stuff that I bought away and I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to pop in a DVD into my DVD player and watch it.After that was over,I did more personal PC work and started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,with the latter being the most difficult of the two.Today,I was again tempted to indulge in sinful lusting and fantasizing with other men and yes,I was also tempted to manipulate my genitals to these images of men.I threw it all on my Heavenly Father and asked for strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard for that strength because I was being tempted really strongly.I threw it all on my Heavenly Father and after I was finished,I felt stronger and know that I received what I asked for.For the rest of the day,I had no temptations and that was great.Though I escaped the rest of the day unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Satan and his minions can strike when least expected.I have to stay on guard and be watchful for that.Fellow blog followers,I am again asking that you continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately each and every day.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of awaiting the verdict on what's wrong with my car's engine,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and I got dressed.I had my usual quick breakfast and after eating that,I went and did my personal PC work.I hung at home for much of the day waiting on my ex brother in law to come and fix the toilet switch.During the early afternoon,I did get a call from a man that I worship with in church and he said that he would pick me up and drop me off tomorrow and I thanked him before we hung up.
Tonight,I decided to eat out at a local pizzeria,but decided when my order was ready to take it home and eat it there.On the way home,I stopped at my ex brother in law's house and after 1/2 an hour and after I ate,we headed over to my house and he fixed the toilet and after that,he left and I did some more personal PC work.I did manage to watch a favorite movie during the middle part of the afternoon.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two.Today,I was tempted to do a lot of things connected with SSA.I was tempted to fantasize and lust after other men when sexual images were clouding my mind and also,I was tempted to manipulate my genitals to these images.I was also tempted to look up online porn,but I managed to close off the internet and ask my Heavenly Father to give me the strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations and I asked for that strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and I asked for that strength and I also told Satan and his minions to get out because I refuse to give them what they wanted me to give them,which was to sin so they would get the satisfaction that they wanted.After I was finished praying,I felt better and also felt much stronger.For the rest of the day,I went through it unscathed,but there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers,I am again asking that y'all continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church,including the morning's Holy Bible study class,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had two cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done with that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
After my session with my caseworker,I headed out to drop my car off at the garage to get it looked at.After that,I headed for home walking.
On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to pick up some things that I needed and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed by doing some more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to pop a movie in the DVD player and I watched it while relaxing.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two.This morning,upon awakening,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitalia and yes,sexual images of men did cloud my mind while I was doing this.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into these temptations.I prayed real hard as I was really sorry for giving into these terrible temptations.After I was finished praying,I felt better as I knew that I was truly forgiven for my sins.I simply went on for the rest of the day just trying to keep my mind off of these immoral things because I didn't want to give into these terrible temptations again.I just kept busy doing what I had to do and that was what kept my mind off of these immoral things.Though I managed to make it through the day unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day.I am still going through a very difficult emotional time and as a result of that,I am vulnerable to temptations to act out as a result of the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA struggle.Please continue praying for me and please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the upcoming weekend,I am hoping to get a ride to church this Sunday as a result of my car being in the shop,I really don't have nothing much planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the upcoming weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day,but I really couldn't get everything that I needed to get done accomplished as a result of car troubles.
My car's engine lately hasn't been up to par lately.After getting the oil change done on Monday,I thought that everything was going well,but it is this engine problem that I have that makes the engine do something when I try to accelerate to a higher speed.I tried to get to the public library to get some important stuff done,but had to turn around and head for home as my "Check Engine" light was blinking on and off.
I did get a few things done today.I paid my car insurance and I paid my DirecTV bill.As for the rest of the day,I couldn't really do anything nor go anywhere as a result of the car problems.I just relaxed and spent some time online and communicated with some of my online friends.
Tonight,after I was done eating a light meal,I got a ride to my evening Holy Bible study group,which was wonderful and I also got a ride home.It was great to be around these people that I study with every Thursday evening.When I got home,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult of the two.Though it is,I managed to escape unscathed as I wasn't tempted to act out by fantasies and lusting and I wasn't tempted to manipulate my genitals at the same time.Though I was a little stressed as a result of what had happened today with the car and the problems,I simply wasn't tempted to do anything in regards to my SSA feelings or anything related to them,which was pretty good.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.This means that I have to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike when least expected and I don't want Satan and his minions in my life at all because Satan and his minions are spiritual troublemakers and again,I don't need nor want them in my life at all.I have to continue to pray to my Heavenly Father and ask him for strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also need to make that a habit because I don't want to have Satan and his minions try to tempt me into thinking the old and negative thoughts that I used to think in regards to SSA and my goals to heal and overcome this terrible emotional condition.Fellow blog followers and readers,I am again asking that y'all please continue praying for me and please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayerful and emotional support each and every day as I don't want to feel alone.I know that I have my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ helping me,but I also need the help and encouragement of my fellow man on Earth as well.Please continue to pray for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of dropping my car off at the garage so they can look at it on Monday,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had two cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done cleaning up,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned and it was also a big evening for me.
I went out to do some important stuff that needed to be done.I went to pick up my new pair of glasses from the eye doctor and after that,I stopped at a nearby convenience store to pick up something for lunch and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I heated up my lunch in the microwave and I ate it.After that,I headed back out again to go to a local supermarket to pick up a small thing that I needed.After paying for that,I dropped a few free newspapers at a few people's houses that I knew.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did some personal PC work.
After eating,I got dressed up in dress clothes and decided to head over to church for the Ash Wednesday evening service,which was wonderful,which made this evening a big night for me as this was my first Ash Wednesday service that I attended since returning to church.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and into my night clothes and started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day and a big night for me.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two.While that may be,I must report today that I didn't have any problems with being tempted to act out by fantasies and lusting alongside manipulating my genitals to the fantasies and lusting.Today,I went through unscathed.I guess that it's because that today was Ash Wednesday and I was planning to go to church for the service,which took my mind off of these immoral and impure things.I also kept myself busy by doing what I had to do and that helped take my mind off of these things.I went through the day unscathed and that was great.Though I escaped today unscathed,I must keep in mind that there is always tomorrow and the days after that.I never know when Satan and his minions will strike at me to tempt me to act out by fantasizing and lusting with sexual images of men clouding my mind.Fellow blog followers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had myself my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and after my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I did my personal PC work quickly as I had an appointment to keep to get my oil changed.After that was done,I quickly got dressed to get to the garage to have the oil change done.
After the oil change was done,I headed for the bank to withdraw some money and to pay a bill.After that,I headed straight to register all the bills at the Where's George site.After that was done,I headed back out to the post office to mail out an important bill payment and when that was done,I headed over to the local Sears to pay another bill.After that,I headed over to a local restaurant to have a quick lunch and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things for dinner tonight and tomorrow.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed for a while and did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.I also did some more personal PC work and started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,with the latter of the two being the most difficult.This morning upon arising,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and yes,it was also imagining myself into the activity with them,but fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far.I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked him to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out.I poured everything on my Heavenly Father and I left nothing out and when I was finished,I felt much better as I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.I went through much of the day unscathed until early this evening as the temptations were starting to come onto me again.I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I prayed to him in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed fro strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations.I prayed real hard and also told Satan and his minions to hit the road as I refused to use my private parts for selfish purposes and also refused to lust and fantasize with other men.I told Satan to hit the road and take his baggage with him as I wanted no part of him in my life,my house or in my mind.The thing is this;If I want to heal and want my Heavenly Father to help me overcome SSA,I have to be serious about this and giving into temptation to fantasize and lust after other men isn't any way to prove that.I prayed real hard and when I was finished,I felt stronger and I knew that my Heavenly Father gave me exactly what I asked for.I went on for the rest of the evening unscathed,including when I had to go to bed.Fellow blog followers,I am again asking that y'all continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support by all of you as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast.After eating that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.
I stayed home for much of the day.I had no place to go nor anything to do.I stayed home and watched some TV and I also popped a DVD into the DVD player to watch it.After that,I decided to do some shopping at a local supermarket and the nearby Dollar Tree store for something to eat for dinner as I forgot to take something out of the freezer last night before going to bed.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff away and I did some more personal PC work.
After having my light dinner,I decided to pop another DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.I then decided to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the worst of the two that I struggle with.Today,upon arising out of bed and sitting down,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals as sexual images of men clouded my mind,but I was fortunate enough to stop myself and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out as I prayed.The thing here is this in regards to me personally is that in the morning upon getting out of bed,my mind is not fully awake at that time and anything can happen at that time.I now have to be on guard against this and when it happens again,I will have to pray for strength from my Heavenly Father and ask him to give me that strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I have to really get tough on myself and really pray hard to my Heavenly Father and ask him to keep me strong during the time upon arising out of bed so I don't fall into sin at that time like I did today.Fellow blog followers,please continue in prayer for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that y'all please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section as I need both prayerful and positive verbal support right here and now and also,each and every day as I do get tempted by Satan and his minions to sin each and every day.Please pray for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of getting the oil changed in my car's engine,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things.After that,I stopped at another local store to pick up a small soup.After that,I stopped at a local 7-Eleven to buy a sandwich.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and I put some of the stuff away.After that,I prepared the soup and had the sandwich with it for a light lunch.After I was done with that,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and read a little.Later on,I did put a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.
After eating,I decided to do some more personal PC work.I also planned for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the worst of the two.Though SSA is the worst struggle for me,today was a day that I didn't have much of a problem.I had no problems with temptations to act out by fantasies,lusting and to manipulate my genitalia while fantasizing and lusting.I have to say that fantasies and lusting are my two main problems in this struggle.I never know when Satan and his minions are going to try to cloud my mind with sexual images of men to get me to lust after and fantasize with.The thing with this struggle is that I am always at war with the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA and the war is always very difficult to fight,especially if you want to do what is right in the sight of the sovereign Lord and creator of all things,but my sinful nature always wants me to do the opposite,which is to sin against my Heavenly Father rather than do what is right because it is easier to give into temptations and sin against the sovereign Lord and creator of all things than it is to fight and resist the urges to sin.Not only that,the more resistance that I put up,even with my Heavenly Father's and his son Christ Jesus' help,the more stronger the temptations come back as Satan and his minions make the temptations stronger than the last time.This means that I have to continue to stay on guard and be watchful of the machinations of Satan and his minions as they are out there and they are waiting to strike any time on anyone who worships the true God in the name of his son,the Lord and savior,Jesus Christ.When temptations happen,I need to stay on guard and be watchful and throw each temptation on my Heavenly Father and ask him for strength to help me fight and resist these temptations in the name of his son Jesus Christ.Aside from that aforementioned temptation,I also get tempted to look up online porn,but I close off the internet and I get off the computer when that happens.I also get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that particular temptation happens,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than feed that particular temptation.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that y'all please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section as I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day.They both help keep me going and also show that I am not alone in my struggle against the unnatural sexual desires of SSA.I would really appreciate both of these things as I really need all the prayers and positive verbal support that I can get.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had 2 cups of coffee as I took two of my most important medications this morning.After that,I showered quickly.After my shower,my usual quick breakfast followed.After breakfast,I got dressed real quickly and headed over to my monthly Men's Network group.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed for a nearby bank to withdraw a little bit of money.After that,I headed for a Salvation Army thrift within the area where the group meeting was and bought a few nice things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and did my personal PC work.After that,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.Later on in the day,I decided to run an errand for my next door neighbor and when that was done,I went back into my house and started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to watch a little bit more TV and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.The latter struggle is my worst one,though today,I again managed to grab the bull by the horns.I was tempted twice to act out by fantasizing and lusting after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals to these images for the purpose of getting my genitals near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.Again,I managed to get ahold of the bull by the horns and I threw both temptations on my Heavenly Father and on both occasions,asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to help me fight and resist both of the urges and they were both very powerful urges at that.The one thing that I know about this is that with ever resistance,the temptations keep coming back stronger and I need to stay on guard and be watchful of them.It isn't an easy thing to do,but I know that with my Heavenly Father's and his son Jesus Christ's help,I can continue to stay strong and receive power beyond what is normal to help me in my fight against Satan and his minions when they start tampering with my imperfect flesh and tempt me to do selfish,degrading,inappropriate and immoral things with it.I have to show Satan and his minions that I worship the true God and through his son Jesus Christ,I am stronger than they are as my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ are much more powerful and stronger than Satan and his minions combined.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section as I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day.Please continue praying for me and please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done with that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and quickly did my personal PC work and when I was finished with that,I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day.
I didn't have too much to do.I simply went out to do a few important things and when I was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I went and checked my home phone voice-mail and my niece said that it was okay for me to come pick up my laundry.I left to do just that and I also did a few more things that I needed to do.After that,I headed straight home and stayed home for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I put my laundry bag in my room and started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.I also did some more personal PC work and when that was finished,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Though SSA is my most difficult of the two struggles that I have,I actually grabbed the bull by the horns today because I was tempted to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men and to manipulate my genitals to these images of men clouding my mind.When this happened,I threw the temptations on my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations that were clouding my mind.I also asked my Heavenly Father in prayer to help me remove these immoral images from my mind.I also told Satan and his minions to take a hike while in prayer.I prayed real hard and I kept it up until the images of men were gone and the temptation to act out on these was also gone.It wasn't an easy thing to do,but I managed to find the strength to throw everything on my Heavenly Father in prayer and I left nothing out.I get tempted day in and day out to act out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA struggle.By comparison,it is a lot easier to give into the temptations to act out than it is to go to the sovereign Lord and creator in prayer and ask for strength to fight and resist the terrible temptations.Today,in the mid afternoon,I managed to do that and I felt better after doing so.Though I managed to escape today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.I have to continually keep in mind that the bodies of men were never meant to be used for the selfish purposes that every active "Homosexual/Gay" man uses them for as the bodies of both humans,male and female,are temples for our Heavenly Father's son,the Lord and savior Jesus Christ to dwell in and they are not to be used for selfish,unclean,impure,degrading and immoral sexual activities.Fellow blog followers,please continue in prayer for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that y'all please leave me some words of positive verbal encouragement in the comments section as I need both prayerful and positive verbal support right now and every day.Prayers and positive verbal support both help in many ways and can boost self confidence and self esteem in people such as myself as I do need both self confidence and self esteem boosters each and every day.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a Men's Network meeting in the morning,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I got dressed and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
Today,I had my last meeting with the Thursday morning study group and I have graduated.After getting my diploma,I headed for a local kitchen to have a light lunch and when that was finished,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.After that,I babysat my niece's kids for a short time and after dropping off my youngest grand niece at her dance class,I headed back home.
On the way home,I stopped to get some gas as tonight,it is going to be bitterly COLD as tonight,we are under a Wind Chill Advisory until 10:00am tomorrow morning.I am already prepared as I have plenty of blankets on my bed to help keep me warm.After getting the gas,I headed straight home and I was there to stay for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I started to prepare my evening meal and while that was being done,I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to watch another DVD that I popped into the DVD player.After that was over,I put some music on and I did some more personal PC work.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,with the latter being my most difficult one.At times,in regards to this particular struggle,I really don't know whether I am coming or going as at times,I get tempted to act out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have.Yes,I do.At times,the temptations can be pretty overwhelming and very difficult to resist.Today,since I stayed out in the community and kept busy,today wasn't one of those days.I was tempted minimally to act out,but since I stayed out in the community,it wasn't a very big problem.The thing with being out in the community was that it took my mind off of these immoral and sinful things,which was great.I had no problems and that made me feel pretty good.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers and readers,I am again asking that you please continue in praying for me as I am still going through a very rough emotional time and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had two cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done with that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and I quickly did my personal PC work.After that was over,I headed out to do some personal stuff that I needed to get done.
I delivered a few free newspapers to some of my friends and I also stopped to get something that I needed.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I started to prepare my evening meal and I also did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to watch a classic TV episode from a DVD set that I had.After that,I did some more personal PC work.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the worst of the two.Today,upon getting out of bed and sitting down,I again gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind,but this time,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my sins and I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling short.After that,I felt much better and I moved on with the rest of the day.I didn't have much trouble for the rest of the day as I stayed out in the community and did what I had to do.I had no problems with SSA and simply stayed busy.While I did manage to escape the rest of the day,I am still asking all of you fellow blog followers and readers to please keep praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal encouragement.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day.It is because I don't have much support within my hometown as support groups themed to helping men like me who struggle with SSA.There are none.I feel all alone as a result of that.I know that I have my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ,but I need the support of my fellow men as II really want to overcome and heal from this terrible SSA.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section as I truly and really need both of these things right now.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday morning study group,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered and when I was done,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.When that was done,I proceeded to get on with the the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda for today.I first went to the bank to withdraw a little bit of money and after that,I went to get some gas in my gas tank.After that,I headed over to the public library to print som eimporatnt files and when I was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I watched a little TV.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily strugles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the worst of the two.Today,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals with sexual images of men clouding my mind and I also wound up ejaculating while I was doing this.I really felt miserable after that and after washing my hands,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ for sinning against him.I did feel better as I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.I really have to buckle down and get tough with myself in this area.Satan and his minions really did it to me this time.I have to really start to ask my heavenly Father for strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I need to really get serious and make it a habit of doing this.I don't want Satan and his minions to get satisfaction out of me by repeatedly tempting me to sin and also,to make me think that it is okay to be Homosexual/Gay,when in reality,it isn't okay as my Heavenly Father,through his sacred word the Holy Bible,doesn't approve of this sort of thing.He condemns the sexual activity between two members of the same gender in both the Old and the New Testaments.He doesn't approve nor accept this sort of thing as he created man and woman,Adam and Eve,and approves only of healthy Heterosexuality where a man and woman get married and share in chaste sexual relations with only each other between them and nothing else.Our Heavenly Father didn't create sexuality to be used and abused the way that the world around us is using and abusing it,as the world around us uses sexuality for all the wrong reasons.I was once in that trap and I am glad that I am out of it.I don't want to fall back into the trap of using sexuality for selfish purposes by using members of my own gender for selfish and sinful purposes as men weren't created for that at all.The same also applies for women as well.Fellow blog followers and readers,I am again asking that y'all please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support daily.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments in the comments section.Positive verbal encouragement really does help alongside the prayers.They both help keep me going in this fight and struggles and further proves that I am not alone in this particular fight and struggle.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work and just took my time doing it.When I was done,I got ready to go to my appointment with the eye doctor.
When I reached my eye doctor's office,I checked in with the receptionist and I went to sit down.I waited for a while and when teh doctor called me in,he gave me an eye exam and when it was all over,the office ordered me some new glasses to replace the broken ones.After it was all over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to return something and after that,I bought a gallon of milk there.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the milk in the fridge and I relaxed for a while.As a result of my eye exam and all the drops and other things that they used,I stayed home for the rest of the day to rest my eyes.I also did some more personal PC work and later on,prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I watched a couple of classic TV show episodes on one of my DVD sets and I did some more personal PC work.After that,I prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the worst of the two.Today,as a result of my keeping busy with going to the eye doctor and going to the local Super Wal-Mart,I had no problems with temptations.I wasn't tempted to act out by fantasies,lusting and manipulating my genitals to any sexual images of men that at times cloud my mind.It was a relief to simply be out in the community and to simply keep my mind focused on the important things that had to be done.I simply stayed busy and everything simply went by as if it didn't exist at all.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.I still have to be on guard and be watchful as anything can come into my mind and make trouble for me.This is one of the weapons that Satan and his minions use to get those who seek escape from sin to sin and displease our Heavenly Father by sinning deliberately knowing that what is being done is wrong and sinful.To put it a better way;I am using the strength that I ask from my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me be stronger and to tell Satan and his minions to take a hike.Of course,Satan and his minions will return when least expected and will try again.Again,I simply have my Heavenly Father give me the strength to be strong and to tell Satan and his minions to take a hike.Fellow blog followers who read my posts regularly,please continue in prayer for me and please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day from y'all.Please continue praying and positing some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit real quickly and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local 7-Eleven to buy some soup for lunch.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes.I had my lunch and after eating,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I headed out to do a few things that I had to do.
I simply went to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Though the SSA struggle is the worst of the two,I didn't have any problems with the struggle today.I wasn't tempted to indulge in anything as far as fantasies and lusting went.I did have a minimal temptation to watch pornography online,but I simply closed off the internet and got off the computer when that particular temptation came around.I simply and willfully chose not to watch any pornography online.I simply decided to change my frame of mind by going out and doing what I had to do and that kept my mind off of anything sexual with men and that included the sexual images of men that at times cloud my mind and fuel the temptation to lust and fantasize with those images on my mind.Today,I actually did the important things that needed to be done and I had a good time doing them.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers,I again ask that you please continue in prayer for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day.I need to stay on the path to healing and overcoming this terrible SSA.I need to keep my mind on my goals to overcome SSA and to heal from the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a visit with my eye doctor in the afternoon,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and after showering,I had my usual quick breakfast.When I was done eating,I got dressed and did my personal PC work,which took me a while to get done.After I was finished with that,I headed out to go out for some air and stopped at a local Salvation Army thrift store to look around and I bought a used ice scraped that can be heated up by plugging it into the car's cigarette lighter socket while the car is running to scrape ice off of the windshield.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to watch a little bit of TV and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I wasn't tempted to act out on the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.I kept busy by doing my personal PC work and going out for a while.It was great that I managed to get out and be in the community for a while and not have these unnatural sexual desires tempt me to sin.Still,I am again asking for your continued prayerful support and your positive verbal support.I am always in need of prayers and positive verbal support.They both help keep me going in this particular struggle and make me even more determined to continue in the process of overcoming and healing from this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I quickly showered.After my shower,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and took it easy while listening to music.I also read a little bit as well.
In the mid afternoon,I had to go out and buy a few things at a local Dollar Tree store.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I did some more personal PC work.I relaxed and took it easy for a while after that.
After eating,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.I also later prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,struggling with the symptoms of BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I was actually tempted to fantasize and lust after other men and to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men.I went to my Heavenly Father and I prayed for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to fight and resist these terrible temptations.I prayed real hard for this strength and I even asked that my Heavenly Father to keep both my mind and my heart pure.I didn't want to sin against my Heavenly Father and I really prayed real hard for this strength.After I was finished praying,I felt better and also,much stronger.I also felt that my Heavenly Father gave me exactly what I asked for and it felt really good.I also managed to keep busy by being out in the community and also,keeping my mind on the tasks at hand and that was great.Fellow blog followers,I still need y'all to pray for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I am also asking that y'all leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section because I also need that to help keep me going in this particular struggle of SSA.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continues positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of going to church on Sunday as usual,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a day with mixed emotions and quite a few complicated things.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed in a hurry as my locally living sister was going to take me to my appointment with the nurse practitioner at the local hospital.
The session with her went well and I got my new prescription for my current medication.I called my locally living sister to pick me up,which she did and she headed to drop me off at home.
On the way,she stopped at the drug store so I could drop off my prescription and pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for the items,she dropped me off at home and I went into the house.I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I headed back out again to do what I had to do and pick up a few slices of pizza for a late lunch.I headed straight home and when I got home,I relaxed and ate my late lunch and did some more personal PC work when I was done eating it.I also relaxed and listened to a little bit of music.
In between these things,the mechanic came over to see what he could do in regards to my car's shifter problem.He directed me to a covered hole near the shifter on the right and he simply instructed me to put the tip of a screwdriver into that hole very deeply and push the button to shift into either drive or reverse.After he showed me that,I tried it,but still had some difficulty trying to get it to work,but after a few tries,I finally got it and I parked the car into the driveway.Later on,I did all the aforementioned things that I had to do.
After eating a light evening meal,I was hoping to head over to the usual Thursday night study group,but learned earlier in the evening that they were canceling the study group tonight due to the weather.I simply relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.I still also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well and it was great.I then prepared for my evening retirement.
Today,as I said,was a day of mixed emotions and complications,with the problems involving my car being the main contributor and root cause of the mixed emotions that I was feeling and the complications that I had endured today.I have been feeling really stressed as a result of these things.My mind was rambling and I was also talking to myself so much and regarding my difficulties in regards to my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation by lusting and fantasizing with sexual images of men clouding my mind and I also manipulated my genitals to the point where I reached orgasm and I finished it off by masturbation to ejaculation.I really felt miserable when I did this and after washing my hands,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also begged for his mercy as I prayed because I really felt terrible for sinning against my Heavenly Father.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out.I poured out everything to him and I begged for his mercy and for his forgiveness.When I was finished,I felt a lot better and I knew that I was forgiven.I am still working on trying to say to these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I own them and not the other way around.I have to show them that I am not a slave to them anymore.I also have to show them that these unnatural sexual desires that I have that I won't let them dictate nor define who I am as a person.Fellow blog followers,please continue to keep me in your prayers as I am going through this rough emotional time and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support from all of you as I am really going through a very difficult emotional time.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.I am just hoping that tomorrow isn't the day like I had today.I am afraid that I really won't know whether I am coming or going if it is.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair,but stressful,day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had a couple cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda today.I first had lunch at a local kitchen and after that,I went to a nearby Dollar Tree store and picked up a couple of things.After that,I headed over to the Wednesday afternoon study group,which went well.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After that,I headed straight home.
After I dropped something off at a neighbor's house,my shift lever quit working on me.I couldn't shift the lever into drive as the button on the lever wasn't working as it wouldn't go in so I could shift into drive.I had to leave the car parked on the street and I took everything out of the car that I bought and carried it to the house.I put everything away the minute that I went in and waited for someone to come and check and see what was wrong,which was my nephew and he told me that the plastic in the shift lever was broken.After he left,I went back into the house.While waiting,I had my evening meal and just decided to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair,but stressful,day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I wound up giving into temptation by fantasies and lusting and also,manipulating my genitals to the images and masturbating also.I immediately went to my Heavenly Father for forgiveness and I asked him to forgive me for my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also begged for my Heavenly Father's mercy as I prayed and after I was finished,I felt better.I really need to start relying on my Heavenly Father now and ask him to get me through this negative thing that I am going through with my car being out of commission for now.I am just hoping that they problem can be fixed without having to get anything new for the shifter.Fellow blog followers,please continue in prayer for me and please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word of two for me in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support right now more than ever as I am now going through a very difficult emotional time right now.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continues positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of seeing the nurse practitioner at the local hospital,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda for today.My niece called me and asked me to pick her kids up at school,which I did.After dropping them off at home,I made a couple of phone calls to the bank to check my account balance and also,to make an appointment with a eye doctor for Monday afternoon.After that,I got some gas and I went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those,I went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple more things.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I went and did a little bit more personal PC work.
After eating a light evening meal,I watched a classic TV episode on a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.After that,I did a little bit more personal PC work.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still struggling daily with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,in regards to my SSA struggles,there were no problems.I had no temptations to lust and fantasize with sexual images of men.I simply stayed busy by doing what I had to do.I did get tempted to look up online pornography,but chose to simply close off the internet and get off the computer.I stayed busy by being out in the community and doing what needed to be done.It took my mind off of anything sexual and that was good.While I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.It is not that I am worried about tomorrow,which I am not,but I have to stay on guard and be watchful as the temptations to act out on the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA can come around when least expected.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continues positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of attending the Wednesday afternoon Holy Bible study group at the usual meeting place.I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had a coups of coffee.After that,I showered and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I got dressed and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and watched a classic TV episode on DVD.As the afternoon wound down,I got a call from the garage that my car was done.It was only a minor problem and that relieved me.After picking my car up,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to see if the vision center there could fix my glasses,but they couldn't and advised me to call the eye doctor that had these made to see what he could do.After leaving there,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I was about to sit down and watch another classic TV episode when my next door neighbor called me and said she needed to go to a local supermarket to pick up a few things she needed.I took her there and she got everything that she needed and after that was done,I dropped her off and I headed back into the house to relax and I watched another classic TV episode on DVD.
After eating,I decided to do a little bit more personal PC work and started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.The SSA struggle is my most difficult one.I have to continuously put up with sexual images of men clouding my mind and repeated temptations to act out on these images.It is a very difficult thing to deal with and it is never an easy thing to struggle with.I am always at odds with the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Day after day,it gets even more difficult to deal and struggle with.I am now making a new resolve to start praying regularly to my Heavenly Father to give me strength to fight and resist these terrible urges.I am going to ask for this strength each and every day whenever these terrible temptations rare their ugly heads at me.These urges get stronger with each resistance.I need to ask for this strength to help me fight and resist these terrible urges in the name of my Heavenly Father's son Jesus Christ.That way,I will have the strength to help me fight and resist these urges every day and I can go on with the rest of the day.Fellow blog followers,while I am doing that,I am still asking that y'all continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support to help keep me going.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't be afraid to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I got dressed up in a suit real quickly and I waited for a ride to church as my car is in the shop waiting to get looked at to see what is wrong with it.When my ride showed up,I got into the van and we headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,my ride took me home and the person wanted me to let them know what is up with my car once I hear something.I told them that I would and after he dropped me off,I got into the house to get out of my suit and into my sweatsuit.I did my personal PC work and I decided to catch up on some much needed cleaning work in my old upstairs room.After that was done,I relaxed and took it easy.
After eating,I decided to watch a DVD that I popped into the DVD player and I relaxed.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitalia to sexual images of men clouding my mind and I lusted and fantasized with these images,but I managed to stop myself before it went too far.When I did stop myself,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my sins.I asked him for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out as I prayed.I opened up everything to my Heavenly Father and I left nothing out.After I was finished,I felt much better and I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.After what happened today,I really need to get tough on myself and be on guard.I also must be watchful as Satan and his minions are out there trying to get anyone who worships the sovereign Lord and creator,our Heavenly Father,to sin grievously against him.Satan and his minions are responsible for getting people to sin and also,they are responsible for getting those with SSA to sin by acting out on the unnatural desires that they have that are connected with SSA.He also tries to get people who struggle,such as myself,to surrender to those unnatural sexual desires that we have that are connected with SSA and Satan and his minions will stop at nothing until they get what they want.As stated,I need to get tough on myself and work on staying on guard and being watchful for Satan's tricks.I need to really start praying for strength whenever these temptations come around when least expected.I do need to get tough and say to myself "I won't act out.I must pray to strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations.I must go to my Heavenly Father and ask him for that strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ."The thing is that there are man ways that anyone who struggles with SSA can act out aside from searching out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,such as watching pornography,fantasies,lusting and masturbating to the images of men that at times can cloud minds,which is the lusting and fantasizing part.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me as I am going through this difficult time and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.They both help keep me going and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome and heal from this terrible SSA.They really both help in a lot of ways.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of finding out what is wrong with my car,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

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Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and had two cups of coffee.After that,I had my usual quick breakfast and when I was finished,I got dressed and dropped my car off at a local garage to get looked at.Late last night,I experienced a foul smelling odor coming out of my exhaust and decided to have the garage look at it today.After dropping it off,I walked from the garage and stopped at a local drug store to pick up a few things.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and after a few minutes rest,I showered and when I was done with that,I did my personal PC work and I relaxed for the rest of the day watching a movie that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I decided to relax and pop another movie in the DVD player and watch it.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and I wound up masturbating to ejaculating to these images.I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my sins and I begged for his mercy as I prayed.I asked him for these things in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I did feel miserable after giving into these terrible temptations.I hate this struggle as it does nothing to enhance life at all.It simply brings shame and regret due to the sinful and selfish nature that it creates and cares only about itself rather than the individual who struggles with this terrible SSA condition.I really need to buckle down and get really tough on myself as I hate the sinful sexual activity connected with this terrible SSA.I need to really go to my Heavenly Father and pray really hard to him whenever temptation rears it's ugly head at me.I need to really pray hard and ask for strength to help me fight and resist these urges to sin by acting out with fantasies and lusting.I need to really pour this on my Heavenly Father and really ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to give me strength to help me fight and resist.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me as I am going through a very rough time emotionally as a result of me being without my car and not knowing how he is going to do things until his car is back on the road again.I also please ask that you don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section as I really need both prayerful and positive verbal support right now.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

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Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and had a couple cups of coffee.After that,I relaxed for a bit and had my usual quick breakfast.After I was done eating that,I decided to do some personal PC work and after that was done,I showered quickly and when I was finished with my shower,I got dressed and proceeded to get on with the rest of my day.
I didn't have too much to do today.I went to the bank to withdraw a little bit of money and after that,I decided to visit with a friend of mine who I hadn't spoken to in quite a while.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did a little bit more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to relax and enjoy a little bit of music.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I was tempted to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men as sexual images of men were clouding my mind.I was also tempted to manipulate my genitals to these images and the temptation was really strong and unrelenting.I immediately threw the temptation on my Heavenly Father and I asked him for strength to help me fight and resist these urges as they were very overwhelming.I prayed and prayed for that strength and I asked my Heavenly Father for it in the name of his Jesus Christ.After I was finished praying,I felt better and also,much stronger.I thanked my Heavenly Father for giving me the strength and went on with the rest of the day.Though I escaped today,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.I have to stay on guard and be watchful as these urges can come when least expected.When they do,I will simply ask my Heavenly Father again for the strength to help me fight and resist these urges and I will ask for that strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.Since renewing my resolve with my Heavenly Father,I have been feeling better and also,I know that he has been hearing me as I truly felt him today as I prayed for that strength to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges that came at me today.I am also going to ask that y'all who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some words of positive encouragement.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day from my fellow blog followers,especially if they also struggle with SSA like I do and want to help others who also struggle,such as myself.I would really appreciate prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continues positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my Holy Bible study groups in the morning and evening,I haven't made any other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda for today.I first had to pick up my niece's kids from school to take them home.After dropping them off at home,I headed for my own home to register a few bills at the Where's George site.After doing that,I helped my neighbor out by taking her out so she could do her shopping.After that was done,I dropped her off at home and I headed out to do some stuff that I needed to do.
I first went to a gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed over to a nearby Salvation Army thrift store to look around and not buy anything.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to buy a few things and after paying for them,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to visit with a friend to see how he was.After a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries that I bought away and I did a little bit more personal PC work.
After eating a light meal,I watched a classic TV episode on DVD and I did a little bit more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.I am still taking my medication for the former and I deal with it when I have to deal with it.Regarding the latter struggle of SSA,I had to renew my resolve with my Heavenly Father because I had fallen back into the trap of habitual sin.I fell back into it because during the time that I was sick with the terrible stomach virus,I neglected my prayer relationship with my Heavenly Father because I didn't pray very much if not at all during my illness.As a result of that,Satan and his minions started moving in and started taking control of me.I fell again to sexual images of men clouding my mind and I also manipulated my genitals to these impure and unclean images.I also wound up masturbating to the images and each and every time that I fell,I was miserable and felt so unworthy.I even gave into the temptations today as well.I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him and I left nothing out.I revealed everything to my Heavenly Father and asked for his mercy and forgiveness for my sinning against him.I did feel better,but later on,I prayed again by renewing my resolve with my Heavenly Father.My renewing my resolve to my Heavenly Father simply means putting my struggles with SSA into his hands again and let him work with me and transforming me.I threw the entire struggle again on my Heavenly Father and asked him to help me overcome my SSA and to help me heal from SSA.I prayed for about ten minutes and after I finished,I felt renewed and I can continue throwing everything on my Heavenly Father and ask him to help me get through it all and also,to help me overcome and heal.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support by my fellow blog followers each and every day.I struggle with SSA and prayers and positive verbal support really help here with this particular struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a lot better and I managed to get out and do some necessary stuff today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I proceeded to get on and catch up with some stuff that I needed to get done.
I mailed out an important thing today and I also made yet another important payment as well.I couldn't do these things last week as a result of the terrible Winter storm that we had and after those were done,I did a little bit of shopping and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I started to prepare my evening meal.I was really hungry from all the running that I did today and it was wonderful that I got everything that needed to get done accomplished.I am now all caught up on everything and I can now relax and take it easy.
After eating,I decided to do some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good and busy day for me.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
I am hoping to start sharing my struggles again very soon.Please continue praying for me and please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance for doing so as I really appreciate both of these things.FJ

Tonight,I am actually starting to feel a lot better and I think that I am almost at 100% relief.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I proceeded to head for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.I also did a reading from the Holy Bible in front of the congregation today.After the service was over,we had a lunchtime brunch in the fellowship hall and the food was delicious.I had a couple of helpings and after some wonderful talks with many of my fellow worshipers,I helped with the clean-up and I headed for home once that was done.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I got out of my suit and changed into my sweatsuit.I did my personal PC work and I relaxed for much of the afternoon while listening to some music.
Since I ate a lot at the church lunchtime brunch,I decided to have a light evening meal of a bowl of chicken ramen noodle soup.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
I will start my usual reporting of my struggles on Monday evening,hopefully.Please continue to pray for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance for doing so.FJ