Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I got dressed and quickly did my personal PC work and when I was finished with that,I relaxed and watched a little TV for a while.
I didn't have too much on my agenda for today.I did get out for a bit.I first went over to my sister's house to pick up a bag of empty bottles and after that,I stopped at the local Salvation Army thrift store and I managed to score a CD of Christian music.After paying for it,I headed over to a local supermarket to turn in the bottles and after getting the money from them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I started to prepare my evening meal and I did some more personal PC work,including registering all the money that I got from turning the bottles in at the local supermarket.
After eating,I decided to watch an education video online on YouTube and after that was finished,I relaxed and did some more personal PC work.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I really had no problems with SSA.Today,I had no sexual images of men cloud my mind and that was a relief for me.I went through the day and nothing negative happened.I really don't know why this didn't happen today,but I am grateful that I didn't have any troubles.Though I did escape today unscathed,there is still tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.It is not that I am worried about tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.It is just that I have to keep in mind that Satan and his minions can strike when least expected.They are out there and they can tempt anyone to go against the sovereign Lord and creator and his perfect law in regards to sexuality.I have to continue to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions are out there waiting to get anyone who worships the the sovereign Lord and creator of all things.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave some positive verbal support.I need both types of support each and every day.They both help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and my motivation strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I wok up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I quickly showered to clean up and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.When I was finished with breakfast,I quickly got dressed up in dress clothes and I headed over to the job placement agency to put my signature on a few more applications that they filled out on my behalf.After that was done,I headed straight home to change into casual clothes and I headed for a local kitchen to have lunch and when I was finished with that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed for a bit and took it easy.
After eating,I decided to attend my usual Friday night Celebrate Recovery group,which went as wonderful as expected.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my bed clothes and proceeded to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I once again gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and that led to fantasies and lusting after them and I wound up ejaculating.I felt really miserable and after washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father and asked him to forgive me for falling into sin in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin and left nothing out as I prayed.When I was finished,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I went on with the rest of the day.I know that I have said this before,but I really need to get really tough on myself.I have to stop this constant habit of continuing to fall into the same old sin and asking for forgiveness.I feel that I am abusing the divine gift of forgiveness every time I continuously give into the same old sin.I need to work on changing my mental pattern whenever this particular thing comes around.I need to learn how to say to myself "STOP!" and "NO!" whenever these particular urges come around.I am struggling everyday with this terrible SSA condition and it seems to get worse instead of better for me.I don't want to go back to that terribly sinful and destructive sexual lifestyle known as the so called "Gay" lifestyle as it isn't what my Heavenly Father intended.He also never intended for sexuality to be used and abused the way that the world is using and abusing it at this moment.I need to keep those things continually in mind.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers as I am really going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that you leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need some positive verbal support right now alongside the prayerful support.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be afraid to leave me some positive verbal support.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately and everyday.They both help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.The verbal support,in itself,reaffirms me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual on Sunday,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the upcoming weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I headed out to run some necessary errands.
I first stopped at a local kitchen to have lunch.After that,I got some gas at a local gas station and after that,I stopped at a local close out store to pick up a couple of things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed for a bit.
After eating,I decided to attend my usual Thursday night study group,which was wonderful.I headed straight home when it was over and when I got home,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I did give into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and there was fantasizing and lusting involved in this also.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself and ask my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin and again,asked for forgiveness.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out as I prayed.When I was finished,I felt much better as I truly believed that I was forgiven for my sins.The thing is that I still have to work on getting tough with myself because I don't want the unnatural sexual desires that I have to own me.I want to own them and not the other way around.At times,I really hate that I struggle with SSA because each and every day,the struggle gets even more difficult.I am always putting up with these unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.The thing with SSA is that it does nothing to enhance the lives of people.The only thing that SSA does is work to destroy lives rather than enhance them.The sinful sexual lifestyle connected with Homosexuality/SSA is a destructive lifestyle where the only thing that the vast majority of people who have it and act out is a life of never ending sexual promiscuity,which can lead to the killer disease AIDS.AIDS is something that I don't want at all as it kills people.There is also no cure right now.I left that lifestyle a little over a decade ago and I want no part of it anymore.Because the sexual activity associated with that destructive lifestyle is sinful,unclean,impure,obscene and downright wrong.The Holy Bible,in it's own words,says so in regards to this.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to pray for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both of these types of support real badly.It is just that I don't have many support groups in my hometown that help men who struggle with SSA such as myself.I need both of these types of support to reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to the job placement agency to sign some job applications and attending my usual Celebrate Recovery group,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I quickly showered and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I headed out to run a couple of errands.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up some orange juice and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a gallon of milk and other things.After paying for these things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought in their proper places and I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player and when that was over,I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I had really no problems with temptation today.No sexual images of men clouded my mind today as I went through the day without anything negative coming across.I only did a few things today while out in the community and this did help in keeping my mind focused on what I had to get done.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.It is not that I'm worried about tomorrow,it is just that I have to stay alert and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any minute.I have to stand on guard and be watchful as they can strike when least expected.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be afraid to leave me an encouraging word or two for in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support daily and desperately.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.Please leave me an encouraging word in the comments section.Please continue praying for me as well.Both of these types of support help keep me going.They also reaffirm that I am not alone.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda for today.The main thing was that I went to see a movie at a locally owned movie theater and I really enjoyed it.After the movie was over,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things for dinner.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I quickly registered a whole bunch of dollar bills at the Where's George site and when I was finished doing that,I headed for the drug store to pick up two prescriptions and after paying the co-pay on them,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up one more thing and after paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I fixed me a light dinner and after eating that,I decided to do some more personal PC work and later on in the evening,I decided to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today upon arising,for the second consecutive time,I gave into the temptation to fantasize and lust after other men when sexual images of men clouded my mind and I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitalia to these images,where I wound up ejaculating.This really made me feel terrible.I really felt that I failed my Heavenly Father after this second consecutive fall.After washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer.I asked him for forgiveness and to show me mercy in the name of his son Jesus Christ because I really felt terrible after this second consecutive fall into sin.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out and when I was finished,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I went on with the rest of the day without problems.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that you don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support real bad and desperately.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I would really appreciate some positive verbal encouragement to help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and I would also appreciate your continued prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly before getting dressed and having my usual quick breakfast.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work and I proceeded with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of errands to run today.I first went to a local supermarket to turn in some empty cans that my niece gave me yesterday and I went straight home to register the bills.I left the house again to get a little bit of gas with the money that I had gotten from turning in the cans.I headed back to the same local supermarket to see if they had what I was looking for.When they didn't,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up what I was looking for since I saw that they had it there.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while as I was waiting for my evening meal to get done.
After eating,I decided to do some more personal PC work and after that,I relaxed while preparing for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,upon arising,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals while fantasizing and lusting after other men when sexual images of men clouded my mind and this time,the experience ended in ejaculation.I really felt very miserable after this current fall into sin and after washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer to ask to be forgiven for my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ.In my prayer,I accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin and I asked that I be forgiven for my sins.I prayed real hard and when I was finished praying,I felt better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.The SSA struggle is a very difficult struggle indeed.I am learning this day after day.I get tempted to act out day in and day out.Most of the time,I get tempted to fantasize and lust after other men and yes,there are times that I get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that temptation comes around,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than give into that particular temptation because I still have to continually keep in mind that acting out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have will never give me what I truly need and want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that gender identity affirmation.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both your prayerful and positive verbal support.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to see a movie in the early afternoon,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and got dressed up in a suit.I headed out the door for church for the Easter breakfast and the worship service afterwards.
The whole Easter Sunday morning in church was wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers after the worship service ended,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed from my suit into my casual clothes and I headed to my niece's house for dinner.
The dinner at my niece's house was great.After that,I headed over to the birthday party that I was invited to,but when I got there,the person who was throwing it had to head out to her daughter's place.She gave me a piece of cake to go and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the cake piece in the refrigerator and I did my personal PC work and it was a lot to do.After that was done,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and watch it.After that,I did a little bit of reading and started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Although it is the most difficult of the two for me,I had no problems today with it.I had no temptations to act out by fantasies or lusting and no sexual images of men clouded my mind.I simply kept busy with what I had to do today and it was great.I kept busy by pursuing my spirituality on this,the most important Sunday of the year by going to church and having a share in everything connected with it.I also had some fun at my niece's house and though I didn't stay very long,I had a good time simply visiting with someone that I hadn't seen in a long time.I must say that staying busy took my mind off of anything sexual with other men.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers and readers,I still need y'all to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support.They both help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.They also reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and when I was finished,I headed out to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for them,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at an estate sale in my hometown to see what they had for sale and since I found nothing that interested me,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put everything that I bought away and I relaxed while watching the rest of a movie that I started watching last night before going to church for the Good Friday service.After that was over,I did some more personal PC work and did some dishes that needed to be done.
After eating,I decided to type up some e-mails that I have been delaying for some time.After that was done,I prepared for my evening retirement as I had to get to bed early so I could get up early for the Easter Sunday church activities.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I fell twice to this terrible thing in the forms of temptations to act out by fantasies and lusting after other men when sexual images of men clouded my mind while I was still in bed and upon arising.I also manipulated my genitals to these images and stopped when orgasm was approaching.I really felt miserable after I fell and on both occurrences,I went to my Heavenly Father and asked for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.During prayer for the second occurrence,I asked that my Heavenly Father help me find my gender insecurities.I don't know what they could be and I asked him to reveal them to me.At the moment,I still don't know what they could be,but I am am going to ask those that I know who are Christians to see what they say.I have a habit of doing this to myself and I really don't know why.I am hoping to maybe get some help to see what could be causing me to do this to myself.I am hoping that the e-mails that I sent to fellow Christians can help me.I need to know what could be causing me to habitually manipulate my private parts to these images of men clouding my mind.I also need to know how I can get rid of these unwholesome and degrading images when they come to mind.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to pray for me.I really need your prayers right now.I also need some positive verbal encouragement right now in the comments section.I need both of these types of support to keep me going.I also need then both to keep my determination and motivation strong.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left by anyone.Please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section as well.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continues positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,it will be a busy Sunday for me.I am going to go to church for the Easter Sunday activities and after that,I will be going to my niece's house for breakfast.After that,I will also be going over to a birthday party for someone that I haven't seen in quite a while.After these things are over,I haven't gotten anything else on my agenda for tomorrow,so I think that this will all be it.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the Easter Sunday holiday ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished cleaning up,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and quickly did my personal PC work.After that,I headed out to run a few errands.
I first went to the bank to withdraw a little bit of money.After that,I picked up a lunch at the local Taco Bell.After that,I went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things for dinner.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watch some of a movie while I had my lunch.After watching the movie for a while,I had dinner and when I was finished with that,I got dressed up in dress clothes and headed for church to attend the Good Friday service.
The service was wonderful.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my night clothes and watched the rest of the first part of a two part movie.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I wasn't tempted to act out by fantasies and lusting and that was great.I simply kept busy doing what I had to do and that took my mind off of anything sexual.I simply ran the errands and simply took the time to get them done.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day as well as desperately.I am all alone in my SSA struggles in my hometown as there are no support groups themed to help men who struggle with SSA such as myself and I wish that there were.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.They both help keep me going.They also keep both my determination and motivation strong.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need encouraging words as much as I need prayers.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the upcoming Easter holiday weekend,I have plans to go to church on Sunday,to go have dinner at my niece's house also on Sunday and to attend a birthday party for someone that I haven't seen in years also on Sunday.It will be an eventful Sunday for me.On Saturday,I will simply stay home and take it easy,but I will go out only if I have to.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the upcoming Easter holiday weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.I showered after having my coffee and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I when that was done,I headed out to run a small errand.I went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a small necessity that I needed and after getting some gas,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I quickly did some more personal PC work and after having a light dinner,I dressed up in dress clothes and I headed over to church for the Maundy Thursday church service.
The church service was wonderful.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and into my night clothes.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult for me.Today,upon arising,I gave into temptation yet again.This time,it was more for emotional reasons rather than sexual.I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting then near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.Though the reasons this time were emotional,it still didn't make it right for me to do.It is still an unclean habit to do and I have to continually keep that in mind because I can't indulge in uncleanness and impurity while being a Christian.Don't get me wrong,I know that I am imperfect and I will fall short from time to time,but I can't let my sexuality own me.I have to work on owning my sexuality rather than let my sexuality own me.When a person lets something own them,that person is a slave to that something that owns them.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my fall into sin as each and every one of us is responsible for their own actions and must own up to that.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out and when I was finished praying,I felt better as I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.I did manage to get through the rest of the day unscathed,but there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave comments of any kind.I need positive verbal support as much as I need prayerful support.Please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need positive verbal support to help keep me going.I also need it to reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle and most importantly,to help keep my motivation and determination strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of the Good Friday evening church service,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done cleaning up,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work and when I was done with that,I headed out to turn in a job application in the next county and when I dropped it off,I headed for a Salvation Army thrift store in the area and when I was finished there,I headed for a Goodwill store within the area and when I was finished there,I decided to stop by a Best Buy store in the area and pay a bill.After that,I headed for home and it was a long drive.
On the way home,when I got back into my hometown,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to do a little bit more personal PC work and I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today upon arising,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind causing to fantasize and lust after men.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my falling into sin.I asked for this in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling short of his law.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out.I admitted to my Heavenly Father everything that I did when I fell short and when I was finished,I felt better knowing that I was truly forgiven.Though I escaped unscathed for the rest of the day as a result of me doing what I had to do and also the fun things that I did after that,I have to keep in mind that there is always tomorrow and the days after that.I have to stand my guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike when least expected.I need to really work on asking my Heavenly Father for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these terrible temptations come around.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue praying for me as I am going through a very difficult emotional time.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support because I don't have much support around here as a result of a lack of programs that help men like me.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section and again,please continue to keep me in your prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of the Maundy Thursday evening service at my church,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I went into the shower and I cleaned myself up.After I was done,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work.After that was done,I had lunch and I popped a movie into the DVD player and watched it.Since today was chilly,windy and a little snowy,I chose to stay home and take it easy.There really wasn't much going on today as a result of the weather,so I felt that it would be best if I stayed home and took it easy.It was great that I got to relax for a while and watch a movie.After the movie was over,I did some more personal PC work.
During much of this,I received a couple of phone calls,one from my new vocational rehabilitation counselor and one from another counselor from the job placement agency.I am hoping to hear from at least one place where I dropped applications off at.I went on with the rest of the rest of the day.
After eating,I decided to do some praying that I had been putting off.I had to talk again with my Heavenly Father and tell him some things.I had a lot to get off of my chest and I needed to do it right then and at that time.I relaxed and did some more personal PC work after that.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult of the two.Today,I can report that I wasn't tempted to do anything sinful in a sexual sense.I had no problems with sexual images of men clouding my mind nor did I have any temptations to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping to these images.I had no temptations to fantasize and lust after other men.This was great that I had no problems nor temptations to do anything of that sort.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.It is not that I am worried about it or anything,It is just that I had to stand my ground and be ready for when these terrible temptations come around.I had to be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any minute when least expected.I have to remember that Satan and his minions are out there waiting to turn me against the truth of the Holy Bible and my Heavenly Father's original provisions for sexuality.Again,I have to stand up and be watchful of these things.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support to help keep me going.I also need both of these types of supports to keep my determination and motivation strong.They also reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of hoping to place another job application somewhere tomorrow,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving unabated.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and quickly did my personal PC work.After that,I was hoping to get out to turn in another job application that I filled out and maybe hit a thrift store in the area that I was going to drop it off,a huge rain and wind storm kept me close to home.I first stopped at a local gas station to get some gas.after getting gas,I simply went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed.After that,I headed to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple more things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff away and I did more personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and popped a movie into the DVD player and I watched it.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to watch an episode of a classic TV show that I had on DVD and I later did some more personal PC work.I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving unabated,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men that were clouding my mind and yes,there was fantasy and lusting involved and I would also masturbate the rest of the way when I approached orgasm.I really felt miserable and downcast as this happened.After washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father and asked him for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed hard and left nothing out.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my fall into sin today while praying to my Heavenly Father for forgiveness.I prayed and I prayed and when I was finished,I felt better and knew and believed that I was truly forgiven.I went on with the rest of the day.Fellow blog followers and readers,I am again asking that y'all continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support from all of you.I have fallen three times too many over the past few days and I have felt miserable and downcast as a result of my falls.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both your prayerful and positive verbal support.They both help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.They also reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.I also need both of these supports because I am still going through a very difficult emotional time at the moment.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans as my area is going to get more windy and rainy weather.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I hit the shower to clean up and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.I also did another reading from the Holy Bible in front of the congregation.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and changed into casual clothes.After that,I had a light lunch and headed back out to turn in some empty cans and bottles at a local supermarket.After that,I headed to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up some necessary things and after that,I headed over to another local supermarket to pick up a can of naturally decaffeinated iced tea mix.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.I also watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player while relaxing.
After eating,I decided to fill out another job application and I did some more personal PC work.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two.Today,I had no problems with temptations.I wasn't tempted to act out by fantasies nor lusting after other men and to manipulate my genitals to any sexual images of men.I guess that staying busy with what I had to do today kept my mind off of anything sexual with other men.It was wonderful not to deal with temptation today.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers and readers,though I did escape today unscathed,I am still asking that y'all continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left in the comment section.I really need some positive verbal support alongside the prayerful support.These types of support do help keep me going and they also keep both my determination and motivation strong.It also reaffirms me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of turning in that job application,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had two cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done cleaning myself up,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I headed back out to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I did a little bit more personal PC work and watched a little bit of TV.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult of the two that I struggle with.Today,upon arising,I was tempted to act out by fantasies and lusting after other men and to manipulate my genitals to the sexual images of men that were clouding my mind.I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked for strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard for that strength and I pleaded with my Heavenly Father to help me.I prayed until the temptations were reduced to nothing and when I was finished praying,I felt much stronger as I knew and truly believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.For the rest of the day,I had no problems with temptations.I simply went out and did what I had to do throughout the day and it kept my mind off of the negative stuff.I simply did my shopping and ran into people as well as talked to them.I went through the rest of the day with no problems.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I need the support of my fellow men,including and especially those who are Christian and who also struggle.I need both types of support real desperately as if I don't get any verbal support,I feel alone.The positive verbal support given reaffirms me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep me going.They also keep both my motivation and determination strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished showering,I had my usual quick breakfast.After my breakfast,I got dressed and I headed out to a local kitchen for lunch and when I was finished,I went and did some shopping at various stores in the area.After I was finished shopping,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I started to prepare a light evening meal.
After eating,I headed back out again to attend my Friday night recovery group,which was as wonderful as I hoped that it would.After that was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my night clothes and I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult of the two.Today,I was tempted to act out by fantasies,lusting and to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind.This time,I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and prayed for strength to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard for that strength as I didn't want to fall into sin again like I had the last several days of this week.After I was finished praying,I felt much stronger and also,knew and believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.I had no problems for the rest of the day.I was out in the community and kept my mind on what I had to do while out and about.I simply ran the errands that needed to be run and I kept up with everything.I just stayed out and did what I had to do because it had to be done.It was wonderful that I had no problems with temptations for the rest of the day.Though I did escape today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.I have to still work on being tough with myself and make praying for strength from my Heavenly Father a daily thing and also,to ask him to help keep my mind and heart pure and clean from all immoral thoughts in the sexual vein.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also would appreciate a few encouraging words in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers but comments of any kind are rarely left.Please leave me some positive verbal support alongside your prayers.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support to help keep me going in this particular struggle and also,positive verbal verbal support reaffirms that I not alone in this particular struggle as I feel alone when nobody posts any positive verbal support in the comments section.Please continue keeping me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual on Sunday,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I wound up waking up at noon and when I did,I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After a while of being up,I showered quickly and when I was done with that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and I quickly did my personal PC work.After that was done,I left the house to take my youngest grand-niece to her dance lesson.After that,I headed over to a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up some things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I started preparing my evening meal.I also did some more personal PC work while waiting for my meal to get ready.
After eating my evening meal,I did some more personal PC work and I also listened to a little bit of music.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against the symptoms of BPD/Schizophrenia and the most difficult one of the two,SSA.Today,I again gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and this time,I wound up ejaculating as a result of that.I really felt miserable when this happened as I had failed my Heavenly Father yet again for the fourth consecutive time.After washing my hands,I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I begged for his forgiveness and mercy in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I accepted full and total responsibility for my fall into sin and I prayed for his forgiveness and mercy as I was sorry for what I had done.I prayed and I prayed and I left nothing out and when I was finished,I felt better and Truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.I am now going to make it my resolution to go to my Heavenly Father and pray for strength to help me fight and resist these urges.I need to show my Heavenly Father that I am serious about wanting to heal from and overcome SSA.I really want to heal from and overcome this terrible emotional condition.I don't want the unnatural sexual desires that I have to own me.I want to own them and not have them own me.Again,I need to get really tough with myself and also,make it my resolve to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer to ask him for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible urges and temptations when they come around.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Your prayerful and positive verbal support helps keep me going and reaffirms me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I Choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done with that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.After that,I went out to visit a new pizzeria that just opened up and decided to give their pizza a try,which was very good.After eating,I headed over to my sister's house to pick up something and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to buy a few more food items.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and did some more personal PC work.After that,I relaxed for a short time listening to a little bit of music before heading back out to a Lenten dinner in my church's fellowship hall.
The Lenten dinner was wonderful.There was some wonderful fellowship and I had a blast.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while and did a little bit more personal PC work.I then decided to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two struggles that I have.Today,upon arising,I gave into temptation again by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind.I really felt miserable as this was the third consecutive fall that I have had over the last three days.Fortunately,I immediately stopped myself and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and left nothing out.I pleaded for my Heavenly Father's forgiveness as I was sorry for what I had done.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling short.When I was finished praying,I felt much better as I knew that I was forgiven for my sins.The thing is this;I need to really get tough on myself when I arise in the mornings.Though I am awake with my eyes,my mind really isn't fully awake at that time.As a result of that,Satan and his minions can take advantage of this to take over my mind by having sexual images of men cloud my mind at their disposal.They also know that I know the truth about SSA and that I am still working on doing something about it.They are trying everything in their power to manipulate my way of thinking and try to get me to change my mind about wanting to heal from and overcome SSA.I need to tell them to hit the road constantly because I don't want these unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA to own me.I want to own them and tell them that I won't let them define who I will be nor dictate to me how I will act.I have to constantly keep in mind that the sexual activity between two members of the same gender is wrong in the eyes of my Heavenly Father.It is also sinful,unacceptable and above all,obscene,degrading and destructive.I have to continually keep that in mind.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to pray for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day.I also need them desperately as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave comments of any kind.Both of these types of support help keep me going and also,the reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,I would really appreciate some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done showering,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I got dressed up in dress clothes and I headed for the job placement agency to sign some job applications that my job placement counselor/coach and the head of the agency filled out for me.They also made copies of my resume for the applications and they even made a few extra copies for me.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something light for lunch.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into casual clothes and I did my personal PC work.After that,I had lunch and I left the house again to go to an appointment that I had with my urologist.
The session with the urologist went well as I got a clean bill of health.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a small country store to pick up a few things.After paying for these things,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up some canned vegetables.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the canned vegetables away and I started to prepare my evening meal.While it was in the oven,I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.I also listened to some music and read for a while.I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult of the two.This morning upon arising,I again gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for falling short in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling short.I prayed and I left nothing out.When I was finished,I felt much better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.For the rest of the day,I had no problems with temptations nor any problems with sexual images clouding my mind.I simply went on with my day by going to both my appointments and simply keeping my mind on the things that I needed to do.Though I escaped the rest of the day with no problems,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day and also,desperately because when I don't get any positive verbal support in the comments section,I feel that I am alone.Please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section alongside your prayers.I need both of these types of support to help keep me going and to keep both my determination and motivation strong.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a Lenten dinner in my church's fellowship hall,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning with the phone ringing.I answered it and it was the head of the job placement agency informing me that I have to come in tomorrow to fill out some more job applications and have them turned in.After we talked for a few minutes,I hung up the phone and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I also had my usual quick breakfast and since it was mid morning,I simply decided tow ash my hair over the sink and I got dressed to head over to a local kitchen for lunch.After that,I headed over to the post office to get a money order so I could pay my car insurance.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I paid a couple more bills over the phone and I showered quickly to clean up.After my shower,I did my personal PC work and when that was done,I headed back out to get a couple of things for me to eat for dinner at the local Super Wal-Mart.
After eating my light dinner,I did some more personal PC work and I relaxed while watching a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I gave into temptation twice by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind.The first occurrence was in the morning upon arising and the second occurrence was in the early afternoon.I really felt miserable after both of these occurrences,especially after the second one.On both of these,I went to my Father in prayer and asked him to forgive me for my falling short in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling short and really prayed for my Heavenly Father to forgive me as I was really sorry for my sins.When I was finished praying,I felt better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.I am still a work in progress as I really need to start getting really tough on myself.I have to show these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with SSA that I own them and not the other way around.I want to show my Heavenly Father that I am truly serious about wanting to heal from and overcome this terrible SSA.I do want to heal from this terrible emotional condition.I also want to overcome this terrible condition as well.It is just that I can't keep doing these things and going to my Heavenly Father to ask for forgiveness constantly.I don't want my Heavenly Father to think that I am abusing these divine gifts that he has for us in regards to his forgiveness.I need to really start getting tough on myself and show these unnatural desires that I won them and not the other way around.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my meeting with the head of the job placement agency and my later appointment with my urologist,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

This particular post on here will be a catch-up on the last two days.I forgot to post my day yesterday.My rocky road to recovery still continues moving forward.
Yesterday,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.I showered quickly afterwards and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I headed over to my monthly Men's Network meeting,which went well,although not too many men attended this time around.After the meeting was over,I headed over to a nearby Salvation army thrift store and bought a few things.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Sears to pay a bill.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I quickly did my personal PC work and after that was finished,I headed back out to another area of the county where I live and I went shopping at the Salvation Army thrift store that was there.After having lunch at a nearby Denny's,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something for dinner and other things that I needed.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and I did some more personal PC work.I had my light dinner and I relaxed for the rest of the evening.It was a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
Today,I had a wonderful and eventful day.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had my usual 2 cups of coffee to wake up.After that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I got dressed up in a suit and I went to church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things for lunch and a few other needed things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I ate my lunch and put the other stuff that I bought away.After that,I did my personal PC work.After that,I went out to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After that,I went to another Super Wal-Mart that is in another area of the county that I live.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player and later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
Over the past couple of days,my rocky road to recovery still continues to move forward,I had been on a roller coaster ride in regards to my struggles with SSA.My BPD/Schizophrenia have stayed stable thanks to my medication,but my SSA struggles have not been stable.I have been enduring overwhelming temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with SSA and I have given in a couple of times,and on both occasions,I have asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ while at the same time,I accepted full and total responsibility for my falling short on both of these occasions.These were the usual fantasizing and lusting after other men and manipulating my genitalia to these images of men clouding my mind.Temptation can strike anytime anywhere and even this morning,I was tempted twice and I asked my Heavenly Father for strength to help me fight and resists these overwhelming urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed and prayed for strength to help me fight and resist and after I was finished,I felt better and much stronger as I truly believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for and needed.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support right now and desperately as I am really going through a very difficult emotional time right now.I need both your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.They both reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They both help keep me going and keep both my motivation and determination strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of turning in another job application,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my last two days and my hopes and plans for the start of the new week ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly.After my shower,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work and when that was done,I headed out to go to the bank to withdraw some much needed money.After that,I headed straight home to register the bills on the Where's George site.I went back out after that to head over to the post office to mail out an important payment that I had to mail out.After that,I headed over to the bank again to withdraw a little bit more money so I could stop by a local church to pick up a fish fry dinner for myself.After that,I headed straight home to eat it.
On the way home,I almost wound up in a car accident when a driver who tried to make a left turn onto the avenue when I was going straight,but I managed to act fast by swerving to avoid us crashing into each other.I continued onward towards home,though I was a little shaken by this.
When I got home,I ate my fish fry dinner and enjoyed an episode of a classic TV series that I popped into the DVD player.I was hoping to go to my usual Friday night recovery group,but the intense rainy weather kept me home.I simply relaxed and did some more personal PC work and still managed to get my recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.I then started to plan my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day and was a little bit better than yesterday,though it could've been much better if it weren't for the almost accident that thankfully didn't happen.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two.Today,upon arising,I gave into temptation again by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind.The root cause of this was all the stress that I had yesterday and I was still feeling stressed as a result of all of these things that happened yesterday.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my sins.I accepted full and total responsibility for my falling short and I asked that I be forgiven for my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and when I was finished,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I went through the rest of the day with hardly any negative things happening until that near accident in the early evening.It did stress me out a little bit,but I think that I will fell better after a good night's sleep.Fellow blog followers and readers,I am again asking that you continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I am still going through a very difficult emotional time and I need all the prayerful and positive verbal support that I can get.Please continue praying for me and also,I would appreciate some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of a Men's Network meeting tomorrow morning and church as usual on Sunday,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,but has hit some bumps.I had a pretty stressful day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I got dressed and proceeded to move forward with the rest of my day,but that was when the bumps came about.
While I was on my way to have lunch somewhere,My driver's side rear wheel went flat.A cab driver pulled up aside me and informed me of it.I had to pull into a parking lot of a plant and called my niece,who advised me to call her mother,which I did.She came and picked me up and dropped me off at home and I was at home for much of the day as a result of me not having my car.I did my personal PC work and I awaited anyone that could help.
I called my nephew,but he advised me to call his father,which I did and his father got me going.He put air in my wheel's tire and advised me to take it to the local Dunn Tire,which I did and I was fortunate to get it in at that moment.They simply fixed the rim by placing a new sealant on it and they put the tire back on and inflated it.After paying the costs of the repair,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things for dinner and I headed straight home to eat it quickly as I had my Thursday evening Holy Bible study group to attend and that actually made me feel a lot better after all the stresses of today.When it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I went inside and I did some more personal PC work.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,it was a pretty stressful day.I did manage to get my recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,with the road being bumpy today,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two.This morning upon arising,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals and sexual images of men clouded my mind at that point.I managed to stop myself and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed hard and left nothing out.When I was finished praying,I felt better and believed that I was forgiven.Though I had a pretty stressful day today,I had no problems with temptation and that was pretty good.I went through the rest of the day unscathed.Though I did,I have to keep in mind that there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers,lease continue keeping me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support daily as I never know what the next day and the day after next will have.Please continue keeping me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly.After my shower,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I headed out to a local kitchen for lunch,but got a bag lunch for today.After receiving that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped a local Dollar tree store to pick up a bottle of tomato juice.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I ate my given bag lunch and had a glass of tomato juice with it.After that,I did my personal PC work quickly and I relaxed for the rest of the early afternoon reading a book.
Later on,I headed over to my church for a Lenten dinner in the church fellowship hall,which was great and wonderful.After helping out with the clean-up,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my night clothes and started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a very good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two.Today,I was being overwhelmingly tempted to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and to manipulate my genitals to the sexual images of men that were clouding my mind.I threw everything on my Heavenly Father and I asked for strength to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges that were coming at me from all sides.I asked for this strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed and I prayed real hard.I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father and I didn't cease until the temptations that I was experiencing had dissipated into nothing.When I was finished praying,I felt much better and much stronger.This wasn't the only time I had to pray for something.Later on,I had to pray again because negative thoughts were racing through my mind and I was saying things to myself that were the opposite of what my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ preached and taught through the Holy Bible.Since I am a combination BPD/Schizophrenia as far as my psychiatric disability goes,anything can happen in my mind and at times,what can go through my mind can be either negative or even totally bad and/or evil.I was grabbing my head as these things were happening as I wanted them to stop as I felt that I was being tortured by unseen forces,such as Satan and his minions,and hearing voices and other sounds in my head.I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer before it got worse.I prayed real hard and asked that my Heavenly Father clear my head of anything that was going through it in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and even demanded that Satan and his minions hit the road as I wasn't going to give them the satisfaction that they wanted.They,Satan and his minions,are now using everything in their power,even taking advantage of the fact that I am a combination BPD/Schizophrenic to start trouble and try to cause commotion with my mentality by trying to put things in my head that I don't want in there.I prayed and I prayed and when I was finished,my mind was clearer and I felt a lot better.I went through the rest of the day without any problems,but I have to keep in mind that there is always tomorrow and the days after that.I need to stay on guard as a result of that because Satan and his minions can attack at any times with overwhelming temptations and use my psychiatric disability to put negative and evil thoughts into my head to make me shout out hateful remarks to myself or to try to keep me caught in the grip of other negative emotions,such as anger,sadness and other sorts.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue praying for me as I am going through this very difficult time.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments sections as I really need some affirming words right now.I am going through a very difficult time right now and I need both prayerful and positive verbal support like never before.They both help keep me going and also,keep both my determination and motivation strong.Please continue keeping me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was done,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I got dressed up in dress clothes and I headed for the job placement agency for my meeting with my job placement counselor/coach and the head of the agency.
The meeting went wonderfully well.They simply informed that they will be transferring me to a new counselor/coach and advised me to continue putting in the job applications.After the meeting,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some much needed money and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my casual clothes and did my personal PC work.I also had a light lunch after that at home.I also e-mailed my resume to a couple of employers that I learned about via e-mail.
A little later on,I went out to get some gas and after that,I stopped by to see how a friend of mine was doing.After a few minutes with him,I headed for the public library to print a job application from an employer's website.After that,I headed back home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something that I needed.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player and after that,I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recomended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult of the two.Today,I was being overwhelmingly tempted to act out by fantasizing and lusting after other men as sexual images of men were starting to cloud my mind.I was also tempted to manipulate my genitals to these images that were clouding my mind.This happened upon arising out of bed and sitting down.I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges as I didn't want to sin against my Heavenly Father in any way.I prayed real hard and I asked for that strength.I prayed and I prayed because I didn't want to sin nor give into these terrible temptations that were coming at me from all sides.When I was finished praying,I felt better and stronger as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.I went through the rest of the day without any problems with temptation to act out in any way.My mind was clear and I simply went on with what I had to do.It was great that I had nothing to worry about in regards to temptations and anything sexual.Though I escaped the rest of the day unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also would appreciate it if you would leave me an encouraging comment or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support every day as it reaffirms that I am not alone.I also need both of these types of support because I get overwhelmed by temptations to act out when least expected and I do need prayerful support from my fellow blog followers and readers.They also help keep me going in this particular struggle and also,they keep both my determination and motivation strong.I want to overcome this terrible SSA and I need all the support that I can get from everyone who follow my blog and read my posts.I also want to heal and I still need all the support that I can get.The SSA struggle is a very difficult struggle indeed and nobody who struggles should struggle and endure alone.It is jusy that when I don't get any positive verbal support in the comments section by visitors and/or curiosity seekers,I feel alone as a result of that.I would really appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section and also,please continue to keep me in your prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to an evening Lenten dinner at my church's fellowship hall,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I quickly showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch.After that was done,I dropped a friend off at home and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I laid down to read and I relaxed while doing so.
After eating,I decided to do a little bit more personal PC work and later on,a little bit more reading.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two.Today upon arising and sitting down,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind,which gave way to lusting and fantasizing.Fortunately,I stopped myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my falling short in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and left nothing out.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my fall while asking for the forgiveness.When I was finished,I felt better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven for my sins.For much of the day,I had no problems with temptation until the mid afternoon when I laid down to read.I was reading a book by a Christian author on how anyone can find and have strength in their own weakness and the temptations were coming at me strong.I put down the book and got up off the bed.I went to a chair and sat down.I prayed to my Heavenly Father and asked him for strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed and i prayed.I threw everything on my Heavenly Father that I was being tempted to do.I was tempted to repeat the same pattern that I gave into this morning upon arising,but again,I prayed for strength instead of giving in.I prayed hard and threw everything on my Heavenly Father and asked him for strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I am learning day after day that Satan and his minions never rest.They will try to get anyone who worships the sovereign Lord and creator of all things to sin against him and to also think that they have no hope because of their sinful conditions.But I know one thing,as every other Christian knows,that Satan and his minions are liars.There is hope for everyone who call upon our Heavenly Father,the sovereign Lord and creator of all things,to ask him to help them with their struggles and to help them overcome their struggles.He helps us with the help of his son Jesus Christ,the Lord and savior who was sent to Earth to not only bring people back to his father,but to die for our sins so we would never be enslaved to sin ever again as his precious stainless blood washes away all sins.I know that my Heavenly Father heard me as I felt much stronger after I was finished praying.I know that whenever I ask my Heavenly Father for something,I know that I get it because I feel it whenever I pray,with today being a very good example of that.Fellow blog followers,please continue to keep me in your prayers.I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also ask that you please leave me some encouraging words in the comments section.I also need all the positive verbal support that I ca get.I am still going through a very difficult emotional time in my life and I need all the support,both prayerful and positive verbal,that I can get.They both help keep me going.They also reaffirm that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of meeting with my job placement counselor/coach and the head of the job placement agency,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I quickly showered and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.I also did another reading from the Holy Bible in front of the congregation that was again well received.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes.I also did my personal PC work.After that was over,I decided to pop a movie into the VCR part of my VCR/Region Free Format Free DVD player/recorder and I watched the movie while relaxing.I also did a little bit more personal PC work.
I also went out for a bit to get myself a gallon of milk from the local Super Wal-Mart.I also got myself a small bottle of orange juice.After that,I went to another local business to pick up a job application.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the milk and the juice in the fridge and I sat down to complete the job applications.After that,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and relaxed.After that,I did a little bit more personal PC work.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult of the two.It's bad enough struggling with mental illness,but it is another to struggle with SSA.Why?It's because I have to deal and put up with unnatural sexual desires that I have.Today,I was tempted to act out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.I was tempted to lust and fantasize after other men and to also manipulate my genitals to these images to get them erect and/or near to the point of orgasm and stopping.I threw the temptation on my Heavenly Father and asked him for strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and asked for that strength.I didn't cease praying until the temptations had died off.I am still learning that the more I resist temptations to act out in this particular way in regards to SSA,the more stronger they come back each time.Satan and his minions never give up.Today was no exception.After I was finished praying,I felt much better and much stronger as I truly believed that my Heavenly Father gave me the strength that I asked for.I escaped the rest of the day unscathed.Fellow blog followers and readers,while I did go through the rest of the day unscathed,I am again asking for your continued prayerful support.I still need your prayers as these terrible temptations might/will come back stronger and I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also ask that y'all leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left for me in the comments section.Your encouraging comments do help and I would really like it if y'all leave me some positive verbal support,alongside your prayers.They both do help in a lot of ways as they have power beyond imagination.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of turning in the applications that I picked up today,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ