Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I got dressed and went out to the bank to withdraw some money so I could get my driver's side rear wheel tire replaced and it was a good thing that I had it replaced as it was starting to bubble on the rear of it.After having the tire put on by a local garage,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I checked my voice-mail and my job placement counselor/coach left a message and I returned the call.I will be meeting her at the local Sears to see about getting interview clothes and prepare for my job interview tomorrow.After talking with her,I undressed and showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed again and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I proceeded to head over to the local hospital for my appointments with both my therapist and the nurse practitioner.
Both the sessions went well.After they were over and I got a new prescription for my medication,I headed for home.
On the way home,I dropped my prescription off at the drug store and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I checked my voice-mail and saw that another place where I dropped an application off called to set up an interview and I called them back and left a message.I also left a message for my job placement counselor/coach regarding this and after that,I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I relaxed for a bit and I did some more personal PC work.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the worst of the two for me.Today,I had no problems with temptations.I wasn't tempted in any way to fantasize nor lust after any men and no sexual images of men clouded my mind at all today.I was relieved that this didn't happen at all today.I guess keeping my mind on getting my tire replaced and the appointments and preparing for tomorrow kept my mind off of these things.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.It isn't that I am worried about tomorrow,which I am not.I still need to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can attack at any minute trying to tempt me to fantasize and lust after other men.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support every day.They both help keep me going.They also reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.Please continue to pray for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of shopping for interview clothes,preparation for my job interview and the interview itself tomorrow,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke in the early morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly got dressed up in a suit and headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to get a couple of things that I needed.After paying for these things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and since I was still feeling tired,I decided to lay down for a while and rest.
After getting up,I headed for the local Super Wal-Mart to buy something for dinner,but I saw that this wasn't what I wanted after looking at the ingredients,I headed for the local supermarket and they had what I was looking for.After paying for it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put what I bought away and I finally got around to doing my personal PC work.After that was done,I prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to do a little bit more personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,while I was laying down,I gave into the temptation to fantasize and lust after other men when sexual images of men clouded my mind.I also manipulated my genitals to these images.I managed to stop myself and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for falling short in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling short and I also pleaded for my Heavenly Father's mercy on me.I prayed hard and I left nothing out.When I was finished praying,I felt better as I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.I really need to start getting tough on myself.I need to really work on making it a habit in going to my Heavenly Father and asking for strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I am serious about wanting to overcome and heal from this terrible SSA.I really need to show this to my Heavenly Father by going to him constantly and asking him for help whenever these terrible and overwhelming urges come around.I want to avoid falling into the trap of habitually sinning and going to my Heavenly Father and asking to be forgiven.I really need to work on myself and really be tough.I want to heal and I want to overcome,but I won't if I habitually keep falling and going to ask for forgiveness.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue in prayer for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support really badly and desperately.They both help keep me going.They also help reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my appointments with my therapist and the nurse practitioner in the early afternoon,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I got dressed and I headed out to the bank to withdraw a little bit of money and I headed straight home.When I got home,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I put my clothes back on and I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I headed out again to pick up some more cold and cough medicine.I first turned in some cans and bottles at a local supermarket and when I was finished,I first headed to the local Super Wal-Mart,but couldn't find anything that I could use.After that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store and I picked up four bottles of mucus relief DM pills.After paying for those,I headed to a nearby supermarket and pick up a bottle of cough syrup.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the cold remedy's that I bought away and I started to prepare my evening meal.While it was cooking,I quickly did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.I also did some more personal PC work afterwards.I then decided to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
I am still battling a terrible cold and I still have a cough that won't leave.However,I have chosen to share my struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA today.Today,with the stress of the job search and trying to get rid of this darned cold,I wound up giving into the temptation to fantasize and lust after other men when sexual images of men clouded my mind by manipulating my genitals to these images and when I reached orgasm,I masturbated the rest of the way.I really felt miserable after this and when I was finished washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father and asked for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed to him and revealed everything that I did to him and I left nothing out.I prayed real hard pleading for his forgiveness and I also accepted full and total responsibility for my fall.When I finished praying,I felt much better and I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section as I really need some positive verbal support right now.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.Please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section and also,please continue your prayerful support.Your support in both of these areas helps keep me going.They also reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual in the morning,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished with that,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.I did my personal PC work after that and I also watched a little bit of TV.After that,I did a little bit more personal PC work.It was raining for much of the day today and I just stayed home to relax and take it easy.
After eating,I decided to head out to attend my usual Friday night Celebrate Recovery group,but ran into a major setback when my driver's side rear wheel went flat again and my former brother in-law came out to pump it again.He advised to head for home and I did.On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to pick up some nighttime cough medicine that also helps me with my nasal passages.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my night clothes and I did a little bit more personal PC work.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
I will update everyone here on my struggles when I am up to it.Right now,I am still working on getting rid of these terrible cold symptoms as they keep recurring no matter what I take for them,especially the coughing.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual this coming Sunday morning,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the upcoming weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.I also did my personal PC work and when I was finished with that,I watched a little TV.I also laid down and relaxed as I am still battling cold symptoms from the weekend.I am feeling a little bit better now,but I am still fighting the symptoms as I am still coughing,though not as much as before and I still have a dry scratchy throat.I am hoping to feel a lot better when the weekend hits.I don't want to have any cold symptoms when my interview comes up on Tuesday afternoon.
Earlier this evening,I went to a local supermarket to pick up a gallon of milk and some frozen Chinese for dinner.I also managed to get a couple of egg rolls as well.When I got home,I heated up the frozen dinner that I bought and I ate it alongside the egg rolls.After I ate everything,I headed over to my Thursday night Holy Bible study group.
The group meeting went as wonderfully as expected,After some wonderful social time,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a pair of sweatpants and I prepared my coffee for the next morning.I did some more personal PC work.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
Since I am still trying to get over a cold,I will share my struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA when I am feeling better.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing really planned as it is going to be raining very heavily tomorrow until the evening.If the weather improves by tomorrow evening,I will head to my usual Friday night Celebrate Recovery group.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had two cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished with that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed over to the emergency ward at the local hospital as a result of my cold symptoms not going away despite the treatments that I was giving it.
After they checked me out,they gave me a prescription and I headed over to a nearby drug store to get it filled and after it was filled,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I took a couple of pills to start with and I will take another before going to bed.I also prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I did my personal PC work and I relaxed for the rest of the evening.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
Since I am still feeling under the weather as a result of the cold symptoms that I am trying to get rid of,I will share my struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA when I am feeling a lot better.
As for tomorrow,with a "Severe Thunderstorm Warning" in effect for my region until tomorrow evening,I really don't know what I will do.I may simply have to stay home and catch up on some much needed work that I have been putting off.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I got dressed in dress clothes and I headed for the job placement agency to fill out the job applications that I picked up and when we were finished,I dropped them off at the respective places that I picked them up at.After that,I did some shopping at a couple of local Dollar Tree stores and I also shopped at the local Super Wal-Mart.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I quickly did my personal PC work.I also laid down for a while as I am still battling cold symptoms,such as sniffles,sneezing,coughing and throat irritation.I have been taking natural herbal medications by drinking hot tea,tablets that are supposed to relieve mucus in the lungs,taking Airborne cold remedy and also sucking on throat and cough lozenges and throat spray.I am feeling a little bit better,but if the symptoms don't subside by tomorrow morning,I am going to have to go to the emergency ward to see what can be done.I can't have a cold of any sort while I am looking for work.I also can't have this when my interview comes up next week.I will continue to take the medication and hope for the best and if it doesn't get better by tomorrow,I'll go to the emergency ward at the local hospital.The stress of the job search and the ever changing weather patterns is really taking a toll on me.I have been feeling really stressed and the atmosphere can't seem to make up it's mind whether it wants to be nice and sunny or rainy and cool.I am hoping that the really nice weather starts to stay soon.I can't take any more of this constantly changing weather patterns.After laying down for a while,I went back out to get something light for dinner as I wasn't really too hungry.
After eating,I decided to do some more personal PC work and I relaxed for the rest of the evening.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
I will start talking about my struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA the minute that I get over this terrible cold.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned due to the rainy weather tomorrow.I am just going to stay home and take it easy and continue to take care of my cold.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today I woke up in the late morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I decided to have my usual quick breakfast early and after that,I signed onto all my e-mail boxes to check and reduce some of the stuff that I had.After that,which took nearly half an hour,I showered quickly to clean up.After my shower,I got dressed and returned the phone call that my job placement counselor/coach made earlier while I was still in bed,but I was still tired and sleepy to answer.After that,I quickly did my personal work and I headed out to do a few things that needed to be done.
I went to a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things and after paying for them,I headed straight home as I saw it was starting to rain.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.After that,I did some more personal PC work.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult of the two.Today,though it is,I didn't have any problems with temptations.I went through the whole day and I had no temptations to do anything wrong in a sexual way with men.I had no temptations to fantasize and lust after other men.I also had nothing of that sort to tempt me to manipulate my genitals either.Though I was home much of the day,I didn't have no temptations at all today.I simply did what I had to do at home and that kept my mind off of anything sexual in a fantasy and lustful way.These are my two main problems in my struggle and I am still working on them.I know one day that I will successfully overcome these things.I also know that I will successfully overcome the temptation to manipulate my genitals one of these days.When?I don't know.But I will one of these days.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.I still have to continue to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike ant time when least expected.I don't want to give them what they want,which is to sin by acting out on the unnatural desires that I have in the ways that they try to tempt me to,such as by fantasies and lusting,as well as to manipulate my genitals to any sexual images of men they use to cloud my mind,which causes the temptation to fantasize and lust after other men.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left in the comments section.They both help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.They also reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of your for you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and had 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed real quickly and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up some cough drops and some herbal cold remedy.After paying for these things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away,got out of my suit and into a pair of sweatpants and I quickly did my personal PC work.I also got a phone call from my niece and she told me that we would be having dinner at a local Japanese restaurant and after hanging up,I concluded my personal PC work and got dressed to head for the restaurant and for dinner.
The dinner was wonderful.It was prepared right in front of us on a grill.After I was finished eating,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got back into my sweatpants and I watched a classic episode from a TV show that I have on DVD.After that,I did some more personal PC work.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Though it is,I had no problems with temptations today.I stayed busy with doing what I had to do.I went to church and later on,went to have dinner with my family at a local Japanese restaurant.It was great that I had no problems with temptations today.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.Satan and his minions can strike at any time when least expected.I still have to stay on guard and be watchful.When they strike,I have to remember to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I have to show them that I am really serious about wanting to heal from and wanting to overcome SSA.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day.They both help keep me going.They also reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular fight and struggle.They also help keep me strong in both my determination and motivation.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of filling out a few more job applications at home,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work.After that,I decided to proceed with the rest of my day.
I had only a few things planned for today.I went out to pick up a few more job applications.After that,I headed for a local supermarket to pick up a couple loaves of whole wheat bread and chicken breasts.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away in their proper places and I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to do some more personal PC work and make a few phone calls.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.I also got a phone call from one of the places that I applied to and I have an interview appointment for Tuesday the 20th of this month at 3:00pm.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding in my mind upon arising.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and left nothing out as I bared all in my prayer and when I was finished,I felt much better and I also knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.I am still working on getting tough with myself in this regard.I am still working on trying to regularly go to my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask for the strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations when they come around.I am serious about wanting to heal.I am also serious about wanting to overcome.I need to really work on going to my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask him to help me regularly.I have to stop giving into these terrible temptations.I don't want to disappoint my Heavenly Father by giving into these terrible things.I don't want to give Satan and his minions the satisfaction that they want,which is to sin against my Heavenly Father and disobey his perfect law in regards to sexuality.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left by anyone.I need both your prayerful and positive verbal support.They both help keep me going.They also keep both my determination to overcome and motivation to heal strong.They also reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular fight and struggle.Please continue keeping me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered and when I was done with that,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work.After that was done,I called ahead for a haircut at the newly opened place where I get my hair done.After my hair was done,I went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas.After that,I stopped at a local store to pick up a small bag of ranch flavored tortilla chips.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed while doing some more personal PC work.
After eating,I was hoping to head out to my usual Friday night Celebrate Recovery group,but a severe thunderstorm warning kept me home and I didn't want to take any chances,so I chose to stay home to be on the safe side.which went as wonderfully as expected as the sharing was enormous and overwhelming.I simply did some work at home and later on,I prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,upon arising,I was again tempted overwhelmingly to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals to the sexual images of men that were clouding my mind.My mind wasn't fully awake at that point and again,the temptations to indulge were overwhelming.I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked for strength to help me fight and resist these urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard for that strength as the temptations today were very overwhelming.I prayed and I prayed until the desires were nil.It took a while,but when I finished praying,I felt better and much stronger as I knew and believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.I went through the rest of the day just doing what I had to do and I had no more problems with temptations.I stayed busy just doing what I had to and it kept my mind off of everything sexual with other men and that was good.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is still tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.Satan and his minions can strike at any time and I need to stay on guard and be watchful as when they strike,I need to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer to ask for strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.Fellow blog followers and readers,I am again asking that you continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support.The positive verbal support reassures and reaffirms me that I am not alone in this particular fight and struggle.They also help keep me going.They also help keep my determination to overcome and motivation to heal strong.As I have said before and I will say it again,my blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left in the comments section and I really do need some positive verbal support really desperately in the same way that I need the prayerful support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished with that,I had no time to eat,so I got dressed in dress clothes and I headed for the job placement agency with job applications in hand.
My job placement counselor/coach and I filled them out within 45 minutes.After we were done,I headed out to drop them off at the places where I picked them up,with the exception of two,which I held onto until the late afternoon.After that,I headed straight home and when I got there,I had my usual quick breakfast a little late.I did my personal PC work afterwards and I had a few PB & J sandwiches for lunch.After that,I headed back out to do some shopping at the local Super Wal-Mart and when that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I got dressed up again in the dress clothes and I dropped off the last two applications.On the way to do that,I picked up another application.I headed for home after that.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into casual clothes and I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and when I was done with that,I relaxed while preparing for my evening retirement as tonight,my usual Thursday evening Holy Bible study group was cancelled,but will resume next week.Overall,a very good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult of the two.Today,upon arising,I was tempted to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and also,I was tempted to fantasize and lust after them.The temptation was overwhelming and strong.I actually turned the temptations over to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I asked him for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations.I prayed real hard and I kept praying until the temptations were reduced to nil.When I was finished,I felt stronger and I knew and believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.I also thanked him for giving me that strength.For the rest of the day,I kept busy putting the job applications in and hoping that I will eventually be hired soon.I have been getting my name out there and hoping and praying for something to happen,but so far,nothing new has happened since mid last year.I am hoping that something happens soon.The task of handing in the job applications today took my mind off of sexual stuff and that was good.Nothing came into my mind as I was out and about today handing in the job applications.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Satan and his minions can strike at any time with temptations.I need to continue to be on guard and watchful.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also need some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both your prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day.Please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section and continue to keep me in your prayers.Your prayers and positive verbal support help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination to overcome and motivation to heal strong.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments in the comments section.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my evening Celebrate Recovery group,I haven't any plans made.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and when I was finished with that,I had a light lunch.After eating that,I headed out to do some stuff that I had to do.
I picked up a couple more job applications and after that,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart,but chose not to get anything there today.After leaving there,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I had myself a light dinner and when I was finished eating,I did some more personal PC work.I then prepared for my early retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I managed to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask for strength to help me fight and resist the temptations to sin in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I was tempted with the usual temptations to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men that were clouding my mind and I also had the temptation to fantasize and lust after them.I prayed real hard for that strength as I really wanted to fight and resist these terrible,but overwhelming,urges.When I was finished,I felt better and stronger and I went through the rest of the day unscathed.I simply went about my day and stayed busy so I could keep my mind on other things and throughout the day,I didn't have any problems with any temptations.I stayed busy and I kept at what I had to do and it kept my mind off of anything sexual.It is wonderful that I have a loving Heavenly Father and loving savior,his only begotten son Jesus Christ,to be there for me to give me strength to fight and resist all sorts of terrible temptations.While I did escape today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.I still need to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any time.I need to make it a habit of going to my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask for the strength to help me fight and resist these temptations when they come around.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support from all of you.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.I need positive verbal support in the comments section alongside your prayerful support.They both help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination to overcome and motivation to heal strong.They also both reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular fight and struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of meeting with my job placement counselor/coach to help me fill out those applications that I picked up over the last 2 days,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.I had a rough time waking up as I woke up with terrible leg cramp pain.I also had a tough time walking around the house as I felt pain every time that I walked.
I did my personal PC work quickly and when that was done,I decided to take a drive out to a Salvation Army thrift store in the next county.
On the way there,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas.After that,I stopped by a friend's pizzeria to see if he was in,which he wasn't and after having a slice of pizza and a bottle of water,I headed back out and stopped at a nearby Super Wal-Mart and picked up a can of soup and a small hero sandwich for dinner.I also picked up a couple of leg cramp homeopathic medication.After paying for these things,I headed to the thrift store and when I got there,I looked through the CD's to see if there were any Christian music CD's and there were quite a few that I bought.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I prepared my evening meal and while I was doing that,I also washed my breakfast dishes.When my soup was done,I put some mustard on my sandwich and I ate.After I was finished,I did more personal PC work.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult of the two for me.Today,I gave into temptation twice during the morning after arising.On both occurrences,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind causing me to fantasize and lust after the images of men that were clouding my mind.I felt miserable on both of these occurrences and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ for my giving into these terrible temptations and I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin.On the second prayer of forgiveness,I had to really pour out my soul and asked my Heavenly Father to not only forgive me but to also help me.I pleaded for him to help me because I don't want to keep giving into the same old things and ask to be forgiven constantly.I have to show my Heavenly Father that I am serious about wanting to heal and wanting to overcome SSA.I really am and I need to really start to get tough with myself.I have to avoid falling into the trap of habitually sinning and going to my Heavenly Father for forgiveness.I have to make it a habit of going to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asking for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptation.I have to make a habit of that.I can't be enslaved to the unnatural desires that I have nor be enslaved to my gender identity and worship my Heavenly Father.It has to be one thing or the other.Fellow blog followers and readers,I really need your prayers right now.Please continue to pray for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both your prayerful and positive verbal support right now as I am going through a very difficult emotional time right now.I need your support desperately.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and please leave me positive verbal support in the comments section.Please support me.I need your support right now.Your support helps keep me going.It also reassures and reaffirms me that I am not alone in this particular fight and struggle.It also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and after my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and had a light lunch afterwards.After that,I headed out to do some important things that I needed to get done.
I first went to the post office to have a money order made so I could pay my car insurance,which I did.I also managed to pick up a few more job applications while doing this and after that,I also did a little bit of shopping at the local Super Wal-Mart.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and relax.After it was over,I did some more personal PC work.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult for me.This morning,upon arising,I gave into temptation again by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind,and that gave way to fantasizing and lusting after other men and when the moment of orgasm came,I masturbated the rest of the way.I really felt miserable after this as I felt that I had failed my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ by my fall.After I washed my hands,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive and to have mercy on me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out.I confessed everything to him and when I was finished,I felt a lot better as knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.I went on with the rest of the day with no problems.Still,I do feel miserable whenever I fall short.I feel that I let my Heavenly Father down by falling into sin,though I know that I am as imperfect as any other human being living in the world,and I know that I will fall short form time to time.Also still,I don't want to fall back into the trap of habitually sinning against my Heavenly Father and going to him to confess and asking to be forgiven by him.I need to figure out what I need to do to avoid falling into that particular trap.I also need to figure out why I am doing that right now.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would appreciate it if you would also leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any sort are rarely left.Please leave me an encouraging comment in the comments section as I really need some positive verbal support right now.Your prayers and your positive verbal support both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also both reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular fight and struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two or more in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had 3 cups of coffee as I was still feeling really sleepy when I got up out of bed.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes.I had a light lunch and when I was finished with it,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I went out for a little drive somewhere,but the place I went to was closed.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I did some more personal PC work and I then prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I did a little bit more personal PC work and after that was done,I decided to watch a classic TV episode on one of my DVD sets.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,with the latter being the most difficult for me.Early this morning,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals when sexual images of men clouded my mind and I started fantasizing and lusting after them.I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I left nothing out.I accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin as I asked for the forgiveness that my Heavenly Father provides for those who worship him that are repentant.After I was finished praying,I felt better and I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.I went through the rest of the day without having any problems with immoral sexual images of men and I also had no temptation to manipulate my genitals.I still need to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike when least expected.I still have to work on regularly asking my Heavenly Father for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations.I need to really go to my Heavenly Father and ask for this strength regularly.I don't want to fall back into the routine of habitually sinning and asking to be forgiven by my Heavenly Father, as I feel that I would be abusing his divine gift of forgiveness.I don't want to do that.I have to show my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ that I truly mean it when I keep saying that I want to overcome SSA and also heal from the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayers and positive verbal support.They both help out in a lot of ways.Prayers and positive verbal encouragement have powers beyond everything.They both help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.They also reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ.

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had two cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished with that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed real quickly and I headed out to my monthly Men's Network meeting,only to find out when I got to the church where the meeting is held that the meeting was postponed until next week.I left and did a little bit of shopping at a nearby Salvation Army thrift store and a nearby Goodwill thrift store.After that,I went to the post office to mail out an important payment.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped the stuff that I bought at home and after that,I headed for the bank to pay a bill there and I also went to the local Sears to pay another bill.After that,I did some shopping at the local Super Wal-Mart and headed to another local supermarket to buy some stuff there and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff away and I did my personal PC work.I relaxed and took it easy for the rest of the day as it was raining for much of the day.
After eating,I did a little bit more personal PC work and I also relaxed and watched a DVD.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,a passing immoral thought came into my mind and I dwelled on it.It made my private parts twitch a little in my pants.Fortunately,I stopped it before it got worse and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed hard and I accepted full and total responsibility for my falling short.I left nothing out as I prayed and when I was finished praying,I felt better and truly believed that I was forgiven.I went on with the rest of the day without any problems,but I know that I have to really stay on guard as passing immoral thoughts can come when least expected.I also need to be really watchful at the same time.Satan and his minions can strike at any minute and I need to be on guard at all times.I don't want to sin and disappoint my Heavenly Father.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both of these types of support each and every day.I hope that more and more people who visit my blog will leave positive verbal support in the comments section.Please leave me some positive verbal support and please continue to keep me in your prayers.They both help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.They also reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular fight and struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual in the morning,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I washed my hair and face quickly as well as shaved quickly.I got dressed up in dress clothes and headed over to the job placement agency to sign a few more job applications and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and I showered quickly.After my shower,I got dressed in casual clothes and had my usual quick breakfast.I also quickly did my personal PC work and headed out one more time to pay a visit to the priest in hopes of getting into a Courage group.
The meeting with the priest went well.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby small restaurant to have a light lunch.After that,I stopped at an AMVETS store in the area and I bought a few things.After that,I stopped at a 7-11 to buy a bottle of water to drink while driving home.After that,when I made it back into my hometown,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a couple more things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I took the mail in and I also brought the stuff that I bought into the house.After that,I decided to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I dressed up in dress clothes and I dropped off one more application at a local Wendy's.I headed straight home to change into casual clothes and headed for my weekly Celebrate Recovery group,which went wonderfully.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into night clothes and did some personal PC work.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,it was a very good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult of the two.Today,I was again tempted to fantasize and lust after other men and to also manipulate my genitals to the lusting after other men.I again went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard for that strength and I didn't cease praying until the terrible temptations died.When I was finished,I felt better and much stronger and had no problems for the rest of the day with temptations.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.I need to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any time to tempt me to sin against my Heavenly Father.I don't want to sin against my Heavenly Father.I also have to continue working on telling the unnatural desires that I have that I own them and that they don't own me.I also need to show my gender identity that I own my identity and that it also doesn't own me.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue praying for me and also,please don't be afraid to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need some positive verbal support alongside the prayerful support every day.They both help in a lot of ways.They both help keep me going.They both reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular fight and struggle.They also help keep my determination to overcome and my motivation to heal strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and again,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to a Men's Network group in the morning,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the start of the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work and when I was finished with that,I headed out to run a few errands that needed to be run.I got some gas in my gas tank and dropped off some newspapers.I also bought something from a local Dollar Tree store.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I headed over to my niece's house to babysit her kids and later on,I dropped my youngest grand-niece off at her dance lesson before heading straight home.
When I got home,I ate a light dinner and I headed over to my Thursday evening Holy Bible study group,which was as wonderful as I expected it.After it was over,I headed straight home and when I got home,I prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I was tempted to act out by fantasies and lusting after other men and to also manipulate my genitals to the images of men that were clouding my mind.But,I managed to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask him for strength to help me fight and resist the overwhelming urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed and I prayed for the strength because I didn't want to sin against my Heavenly Father by giving into these terrible temptations.I didn't cease praying until the overwhelming urges had dissipated.I felt better and much stronger after praying and I went on with the rest of the day unscathed.I simply kept busy by doing what I had to do and that kept my mind off of the immoral things.There was nothing that went through my head the whole day and I wasn't tempted to give into anything.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.I have to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any time with temptations.I need to be watchful as they can strike at any time.I don't want to give them what they want,which is to make me sin by acting out on these unnatural desires that I have and that would be sinful.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue in prayer for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal support.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day.Your prayers and your positive verbal support does help.They reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular fight and struggle.They also help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't hesitate to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to the agency to sign some more job applications and a session that I have with the priest,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work.After that,I went out to go to a local 7-Eleven to pick up a bag of nacho cheese Doritos to have with my lunch.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I heated up my lunch in the microwave and I ate it.After that,I did a little bit more personal PC work.I then eagerly awaited a phone call from an out of state SSA counselor as I had a lot to talk about with him.
The phone session with the SSA counselor went wonderfully.After it was over,I headed back out to get a gallon of milk at the local Super Wal-Mart.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the milk away and I relaxed while reading.
After eating,I did a little bit more personal PC work and prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,it was a pretty fair day as I was home for much of the day due to rainy weather for the second day in a row,though I managed to get a couple of needed things.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer when I was getting tempted to fantasize and lust after other men and to also manipulate my genitals to these images.I prayed for strength to fight and resist these urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and asked for that strength because I didn't want to sin again nor did I want to enslaved to this particular sin.I kept asking for that strength and didn't cease praying until the urges had died down.When I was finished praying,I felt better and much stronger.I also knew and truly believed that I received what I asked for from my Heavenly Father.I felt stronger and it was great.I went on with the rest of the day without any problems.Though I did escape today,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Not that I am worried about tomorrow,I simply need to continued staying on guard and being watchful as these temptations,which Satan and his minions cause,can come when least expected.Fellow blog followers,I still need you to continue keeping me in your prayers and also,I still need your positive verbal support in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left in the comments section.I really need both your prayerful and positive verbal support.They both help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination to overcome and motivation to heal strong.The positive verbal support also reassures and reaffirms me that I am not along in this particular fight and struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday evening study group,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work and had a light lunch afterwards.I was home for much of the day as a result of rainy weather that was happening for much of the day today.Later on,I went out to run a small errand to go to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something that I needed.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put what I bought away and I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to relax for a while and I did some more personal PC work.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I did manage to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I gave into temptation looking at a couple of porn videos online.Yes,I admit it.I gave into watching pornography.For much of the day,my conscience was really getting on me for watching these videos and later on,after my small errand was finished,I went into my room and I prayed real hard to my Heavenly Father.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him by giving into the temptation to watch porn online and I left nothing out.I prayed and I prayed.I asked for my Heavenly Father's mercy while praying and I also asked that he help me to break free from both the sexual sins,but also,the sin of getting caught up in anger as I was angry with myself for watching the pornography in the first place.I prayed and I prayed.I also ordered Satan and his minions to hit the road and get out of here and to take their baggage with them.I shouted that out to them while praying and it felt good to do that.I also asked that my Heavenly Father also help me in overcoming and healing from SSA as I really want to overcome and heal from this terrible emotional condition.I also asked that he help me to not only break free,but to also stay free from fantasizing and lusting after other men and to also help me to break free and to stay free from manipulating my genitals to these unwholesome images.While praying,my eyes were starting to tear as a result.When I was finished praying,I felt better and felt that a huge gigantic weight had been lifted off of me.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to pray for me and please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need some positive verbal support alongside the prayerful support.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both prayers and positive verbal support.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help keep both my determination to overcome and motivation to heal stronger.They also reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of talking with someone on the phone in hoping to get some help and support for my SSA struggles,I haven't got much planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and when I was done with that,I headed out to with draw a little bit of money from my account at the bank and I did a little shopping at a local and nearby Dollar Tree store.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did some more personal PC work.I also relaxed for a while and enjoyed a little bit of music.
After eating,I decided to do a little bit more personal PC work and later on,I decided to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I didn't have any problems with temptation.I had no problems with anything sexual in regards to men clouding my mind and that made me feel pretty good.I went through the day without any problems and that was okay.Though I did escape today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.I have to continue to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any time.They can tempt me to act out by fantasies and lusting after other men and also,they can tempt me to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men that they make to cloud my mind.Again,I need to stay on guard and be watchful of the machinations of Satan and his minions.They can try to make me do anything that is contradictory to the word of my Heavenly Father,which is the Holy Bible and is also his perfect law.I have to continue to work on being tough with myself and to show the unnatural desires that I have and my own gender identity that I own them and not the other way around.I don't want to be enslaved to the unnatural desires that I have as I refuse to let these unnatural desires that I have define who I am nor dictate to me how I will act.I also refuse to let my gender identity own me as masturbation,which is one of my problems alongside genital manipulation,is simply when one is enslaved to their own gender identity/sexuality.I have to work on being tough with myself and also,show these unnatural desires and my gender identity/sexuality that I own them and not them owning me.Fellow blog followers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need positive verbal support each and every day alongside the continued prayers.I need to be reaffirmed that I am not alone in this particular struggle because I feel alone when visitors and/or curiosity seekers don't leave me any encouraging comments in the comments section.I need positive verbal support as much as I need prayerful support.They both help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination to overcome and motivation to heal strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done with that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit real quickly and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.We had a substitute pastor giving the sermon today and I had a wonderful conversation with him once the service was over,though I also had some wonderful fellowship with my other fellow worshipers as well.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I had a quick lunch.After that,I did my personal PC work and when that was done,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I decided to do a little bit more personal PC work and after that,I watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.Later on,I decided to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I gave into temptation yet again by masturbating upon awakening.I washed my hands afterwards and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed and I prayed and I left nothing out.When I was finished,I felt better as I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven and I also asked my Heavenly Father to help me in forgiving myself for falling short.For the rest of the day,I had no problems.I still need to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any time with their ways of tempting anyone to sin against the sovereign Lord and creator of all things,our Heavenly Father.I still need to work on getting tough with myself by asking for strength to fight and resist these terrible urges from my Heavenly Father.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive encouraging words in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately and right now.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left in the comments section when they do visit.Please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section alongside your prayers.They both help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two while also continuing to keep me in your prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I got dressed and quickly did my personal PC work and when I was finished with that,I relaxed and watched a little TV for a while.
I didn't have too much on my agenda for today.I did get out for a bit.I first went over to my sister's house to pick up a bag of empty bottles and after that,I stopped at the local Salvation Army thrift store and I managed to score a CD of Christian music.After paying for it,I headed over to a local supermarket to turn in the bottles and after getting the money from them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I started to prepare my evening meal and I did some more personal PC work,including registering all the money that I got from turning the bottles in at the local supermarket.
After eating,I decided to watch an education video online on YouTube and after that was finished,I relaxed and did some more personal PC work.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I really had no problems with SSA.Today,I had no sexual images of men cloud my mind and that was a relief for me.I went through the day and nothing negative happened.I really don't know why this didn't happen today,but I am grateful that I didn't have any troubles.Though I did escape today unscathed,there is still tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.It is not that I am worried about tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.It is just that I have to keep in mind that Satan and his minions can strike when least expected.They are out there and they can tempt anyone to go against the sovereign Lord and creator and his perfect law in regards to sexuality.I have to continue to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions are out there waiting to get anyone who worships the the sovereign Lord and creator of all things.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave some positive verbal support.I need both types of support each and every day.They both help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and my motivation strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I wok up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I quickly showered to clean up and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.When I was finished with breakfast,I quickly got dressed up in dress clothes and I headed over to the job placement agency to put my signature on a few more applications that they filled out on my behalf.After that was done,I headed straight home to change into casual clothes and I headed for a local kitchen to have lunch and when I was finished with that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed for a bit and took it easy.
After eating,I decided to attend my usual Friday night Celebrate Recovery group,which went as wonderful as expected.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my bed clothes and proceeded to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I once again gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and that led to fantasies and lusting after them and I wound up ejaculating.I felt really miserable and after washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father and asked him to forgive me for falling into sin in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin and left nothing out as I prayed.When I was finished,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I went on with the rest of the day.I know that I have said this before,but I really need to get really tough on myself.I have to stop this constant habit of continuing to fall into the same old sin and asking for forgiveness.I feel that I am abusing the divine gift of forgiveness every time I continuously give into the same old sin.I need to work on changing my mental pattern whenever this particular thing comes around.I need to learn how to say to myself "STOP!" and "NO!" whenever these particular urges come around.I am struggling everyday with this terrible SSA condition and it seems to get worse instead of better for me.I don't want to go back to that terribly sinful and destructive sexual lifestyle known as the so called "Gay" lifestyle as it isn't what my Heavenly Father intended.He also never intended for sexuality to be used and abused the way that the world is using and abusing it at this moment.I need to keep those things continually in mind.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers as I am really going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that you leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need some positive verbal support right now alongside the prayerful support.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be afraid to leave me some positive verbal support.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately and everyday.They both help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.The verbal support,in itself,reaffirms me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual on Sunday,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the upcoming weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I headed out to run some necessary errands.
I first stopped at a local kitchen to have lunch.After that,I got some gas at a local gas station and after that,I stopped at a local close out store to pick up a couple of things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed for a bit.
After eating,I decided to attend my usual Thursday night study group,which was wonderful.I headed straight home when it was over and when I got home,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I did give into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and there was fantasizing and lusting involved in this also.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself and ask my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin and again,asked for forgiveness.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out as I prayed.When I was finished,I felt much better as I truly believed that I was forgiven for my sins.The thing is that I still have to work on getting tough with myself because I don't want the unnatural sexual desires that I have to own me.I want to own them and not the other way around.At times,I really hate that I struggle with SSA because each and every day,the struggle gets even more difficult.I am always putting up with these unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.The thing with SSA is that it does nothing to enhance the lives of people.The only thing that SSA does is work to destroy lives rather than enhance them.The sinful sexual lifestyle connected with Homosexuality/SSA is a destructive lifestyle where the only thing that the vast majority of people who have it and act out is a life of never ending sexual promiscuity,which can lead to the killer disease AIDS.AIDS is something that I don't want at all as it kills people.There is also no cure right now.I left that lifestyle a little over a decade ago and I want no part of it anymore.Because the sexual activity associated with that destructive lifestyle is sinful,unclean,impure,obscene and downright wrong.The Holy Bible,in it's own words,says so in regards to this.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to pray for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both of these types of support real badly.It is just that I don't have many support groups in my hometown that help men who struggle with SSA such as myself.I need both of these types of support to reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to the job placement agency to sign some job applications and attending my usual Celebrate Recovery group,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I quickly showered and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I headed out to run a couple of errands.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up some orange juice and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a gallon of milk and other things.After paying for these things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought in their proper places and I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player and when that was over,I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I had really no problems with temptation today.No sexual images of men clouded my mind today as I went through the day without anything negative coming across.I only did a few things today while out in the community and this did help in keeping my mind focused on what I had to get done.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.It is not that I'm worried about tomorrow,it is just that I have to stay alert and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any minute.I have to stand on guard and be watchful as they can strike when least expected.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be afraid to leave me an encouraging word or two for in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support daily and desperately.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.Please leave me an encouraging word in the comments section.Please continue praying for me as well.Both of these types of support help keep me going.They also reaffirm that I am not alone.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda for today.The main thing was that I went to see a movie at a locally owned movie theater and I really enjoyed it.After the movie was over,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things for dinner.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I quickly registered a whole bunch of dollar bills at the Where's George site and when I was finished doing that,I headed for the drug store to pick up two prescriptions and after paying the co-pay on them,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up one more thing and after paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I fixed me a light dinner and after eating that,I decided to do some more personal PC work and later on in the evening,I decided to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today upon arising,for the second consecutive time,I gave into the temptation to fantasize and lust after other men when sexual images of men clouded my mind and I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitalia to these images,where I wound up ejaculating.This really made me feel terrible.I really felt that I failed my Heavenly Father after this second consecutive fall.After washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer.I asked him for forgiveness and to show me mercy in the name of his son Jesus Christ because I really felt terrible after this second consecutive fall into sin.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out and when I was finished,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I went on with the rest of the day without problems.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that you don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support real bad and desperately.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I would really appreciate some positive verbal encouragement to help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and I would also appreciate your continued prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly before getting dressed and having my usual quick breakfast.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work and I proceeded with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of errands to run today.I first went to a local supermarket to turn in some empty cans that my niece gave me yesterday and I went straight home to register the bills.I left the house again to get a little bit of gas with the money that I had gotten from turning in the cans.I headed back to the same local supermarket to see if they had what I was looking for.When they didn't,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up what I was looking for since I saw that they had it there.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while as I was waiting for my evening meal to get done.
After eating,I decided to do some more personal PC work and after that,I relaxed while preparing for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,upon arising,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals while fantasizing and lusting after other men when sexual images of men clouded my mind and this time,the experience ended in ejaculation.I really felt very miserable after this current fall into sin and after washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer to ask to be forgiven for my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ.In my prayer,I accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin and I asked that I be forgiven for my sins.I prayed real hard and when I was finished praying,I felt better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.The SSA struggle is a very difficult struggle indeed.I am learning this day after day.I get tempted to act out day in and day out.Most of the time,I get tempted to fantasize and lust after other men and yes,there are times that I get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that temptation comes around,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than give into that particular temptation because I still have to continually keep in mind that acting out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have will never give me what I truly need and want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that gender identity affirmation.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both your prayerful and positive verbal support.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to see a movie in the early afternoon,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and got dressed up in a suit.I headed out the door for church for the Easter breakfast and the worship service afterwards.
The whole Easter Sunday morning in church was wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers after the worship service ended,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed from my suit into my casual clothes and I headed to my niece's house for dinner.
The dinner at my niece's house was great.After that,I headed over to the birthday party that I was invited to,but when I got there,the person who was throwing it had to head out to her daughter's place.She gave me a piece of cake to go and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the cake piece in the refrigerator and I did my personal PC work and it was a lot to do.After that was done,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and watch it.After that,I did a little bit of reading and started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Although it is the most difficult of the two for me,I had no problems today with it.I had no temptations to act out by fantasies or lusting and no sexual images of men clouded my mind.I simply kept busy with what I had to do today and it was great.I kept busy by pursuing my spirituality on this,the most important Sunday of the year by going to church and having a share in everything connected with it.I also had some fun at my niece's house and though I didn't stay very long,I had a good time simply visiting with someone that I hadn't seen in a long time.I must say that staying busy took my mind off of anything sexual with other men.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers and readers,I still need y'all to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support.They both help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.They also reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ