Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed out to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.After that was over,I started to reheat some leftovers.
After eating,I popped another DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.After that was done,I did some more personal PC work.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it does,I am still in my usual daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult struggle that I have.Today,I wasn't tempted to act out in any way,shape of form.I guess that by staying busy with what I had to do kept my mind off of the sexual stuff that is connected with the SSA struggle.though I escaped today unscathed,there is still tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.Satan and his minions can strike at any time.I still need to stay on guard and be watchful.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.Your support in both of these areas is still very important to me.I need to reaffirmed and reassured that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Your support also helps keep me going.Please continue to pray for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I washed my hair over the sink and after that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly headed for the post office to mail out an important money order and I headed for home after that.
On the way home,I stopped at a local 7-11 to pick up a gallon of milk.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the milk away and I quickly did my personal PC work.After that,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.After that was over,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I popped another DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.This is the week before Halloween and I am watching the entire Halloween film series non-stop for the week.I will be watching these until the 2009 sequel to the 2007 re-imagining of the original 1978 film that started it all.I have a blast watching these films each and every year around this time.When the Halloween week comes,I will be watching a couple more Halloween related films alongside some TV specials that are also related.I also did some more personal PC work when the movie ended.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
In regards to my struggles,I am feeling rather tired tonight and can barely type anything as I am always correcting myself in terms of spelling mistakes.I will start informing all of you in regards to them tomorrow.In the meantime,please continue to keep me in your prayers and please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you and Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished showering,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.There was also a charity pasta lunch after that service and I had a nice plate of pasta and some wonderful fellowship with some or my fellow worshipers.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into a sweatsuit.I quickly did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed in casual clothes as I had some important stuff that I needed to do.
I first went to the Best Buy in the next county to pay a bill.After that,I made a few stops at a few stores.I had to pick up some things that I needed and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff away for tomorrow.I was hoping to have a nice dinner,but it was too late to start cooking.I went back out again to pick up some take-out food from a few local restaurants.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I sat down too eat my dinner and I also watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.I also did some more personal PC work.After that,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it does,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I wasn't tempted to act out in any way,shape or form.I stayed busy much of the day by doing my computer work and being out and about in the community.It kept my mind off of the sexual stuff connected with the SSA struggle.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is still tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.I have to continue to stay on guard and be watchful.Satan and his minions can strike at any time when least expected.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.Please continue keeping me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good and busy day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After my breakfast,I got dressed for work and I proceeded to head for work.
The work day went as well as expected.After it was all over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while before showering quickly again.After that,I headed out to check out a sale that was in my area,but couldn't find anything that interested me.After that,I headed for a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of Hot Pockets to have with my dinner.After that,I went to check out a local mattress store to check out their mattress stock.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I quickly did my personal PC work and after that,I prepared a light evening meal.
After my light evening meal of a bowl of soup and the two Hot Pockets that I bought,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and watch it.After that was over,I did some more personal PC work.Later on,I prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a very good and busy day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult struggle that I have.Early this evening,I was tempted to indulge in fantasizing and lusting after other men,including imagining myself in sinful sexual activity with them.But this time,I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked him for the strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and didn't cease praying until the temptations died down.I prayed and I prayed and when I was finished,I felt better and much stronger.I am now going to make it my resolve to pray whenever temptations come around.I am also going to make it my resolve to start to try and pray frequently to him.I may need to ask for strength daily and often.I don't want to fall back into the trap of falling into sin and repenting.I also still have to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike again when least expected.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.Please continue to pray for me and again,I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual in the morning,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda for today.I first went to pick up my paycheck from work and after that,I headed out to the post office to mail out a money order.After that,I headed for a local supermarket to pick up a gallon of milk.After that,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something that I needed.After that,I got some gas at a local gas station.I also cashed my paycheck as well.After all of these things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put everything that I bought away and I enjoyed a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.After it was over,I did some more personal PC work.After that was done,I headed back out to get myself another sandwich from Subway.I headed straight home to eat it.When I was finished eating it,I relaxed as I wasn't feeling too well to go anywhere.My head was hurting me and I was also feeling some pains in my legs.I just laid down and read and prepared for my evening retirement as I had to get up early tomorrow morning and head for work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it continues to do so,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,with the latter being the most difficult struggle of the two.Tonight,I was at home much of the time as evening came.In the mid evening,I went into my room and I sat down on the edge of my bed.I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I first confessed sins to him that I committed today when I gave into temptation.After that,I unloaded all of the unresolved anger,resentment and trauma issues that were in my life and that contributed to why I was struggling with SSA and everything connected with it.It may also be the reason why I have been giving into these terrible temptations that have been overwhelming me as of late.Yes,temptations have been overwhelming me lately and they have been piling on me one after the other.I unloaded everything and asked him for strength to help me let go of all of these negative things and also to help me develop a very forgiving heart as well.My anger and resentment has been towards my father,my locally living sister,my other sister who lives out of town,the man that she was involved with who hurt her and myself physically,the bullies in school that called me names and constantly harassed me,the teachers and administrators that did nothing to stop the bullying by the bullies and inadvertently letting these bullies walk over them as if they,the bullies,were truly running the school and they were simply getting paid by the school district to simply sit down and do nothing to stop the bullying and the harassment.It was also towards those who sexual abused me for their pleasure,including the incidents that happened to me at 10 years of age and 16 years of age and all the other members of my own gender who used and abused me for their own pleasure.Last but not least,to the boys who chased me into the path of two cars that hit me when I was 17 years old.I also had anger and resentment towards the religious cult that I followed for two brief years,especially those who made up phony stories about me although I was innocent of the things that they said about me.I threw everything on my Heavenly Father and while doing so,tears did start to come out of my eyes,though it didn't lead to full blown crying.I prayed for I don't know how long as I wasn't concentrating on the time as I was.But when I was finished,I felt a lot better as again,I felt that a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.I also asked that my Heavenly Father help point me in the right direction to help me in letting go of these things so I can not only transcend,but also start finally discovering real healing and also,overcoming this terrible SSA.Last week,I did have a talk with my pastor about these things and he said that he would like for us to schedule a talk that we can have to discuss these things.We haven't set up anything yet,but I will be meeting with him Sunday morning to do so.I hope that this is a true start to transcending and finally,healing from and overcoming this terrible SSA.Also,I prayed that my Heavenly Father forgive me for not letting him in those times that I stumbled and fell and for not letting him in when I should have.I confessed that leaving him out and not letting him in was wrong and again,asked that he forgave me for that sin.I am now hoping that this is the true as well as a new and fresh start.I want to start transcending now and start the real process of healing from and overcoming this terrible SSA.Fellow blog followers and readers,I still need your prayerful support and your positive verbal support.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I would appreciate these things very much.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I will be working and earning a little bit of money.After that,I don't know what else I might do.But I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Possible Triggers here,

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.While having my second cup,I got a phone call from my job placement counselor/coach and she said that I had to come to the agency to fill out some paperwork so they can transfer my case to another agency.After washing my hair,face and shaving over the kitchen sink,I got dressed up in dress clothes and I headed for the job placement agency to fill out the paperwork.After filling it all out,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local former shopping mall parking lot as there was a contest by a local car dealership there.I won a gift card that can be redeemed at the local Super Wal-Mart.After that,I bought a bottle of dish detergent at a local supermarket.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,a DirecTV person was there to meet me to help me get my DirecTV service up and running again.It took a little over an hour,but it's finally up and running again.When the repair person was doing his work,I showered quickly and finally had my usual quick breakfast later than usual.After all the stuff was done,I quickly did my personal PC work.After that was done,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.After that,I headed out to run a few errands that needed to be run.After I was done running them,I stopped at a local church that was having a free dinner.After I was finished eating,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed from my casual clothes into a sweatsuit and I enjoyed a little TV.After that,I did some more personal PC work.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it does,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult struggle of the two.There is also something that I haven't really talked about much in my struggles,I have been focusing so much on temptations related to the SSA struggle that I haven't talked about one other thing in my struggles.The link between my struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and my SSA struggles and what role the former has on the latter.You see,as I have been reporting,I do have BPD,which is an acronym for Bipolar Disorder/Depression.My emotions can be on a roller coaster ride and that can make it tough for me to stay on top.One day/minute,I can be up and feeling pretty good,but,at times,the next day/minute,I can be down and feeling not so good.I never know how my moods will be from one day/minute to the next day/minute.If that wasn't bad enough,I also have to put up up with the hallucinatory effects of Schizophrenia.I sometimes hear things that others can't hear.At times,when I walk,I hear footsteps walking and when I stop to see who or what it is,I see nobody and/or nothing.I also hear voices calling my name and when I turn to see who it might be,the same results as in nobody and/or nothing there.My struggles with this mental illness double whammy also makes my SSA struggles more difficult because,at times,I hear voices in my head telling me to grab my private parts and start to manipulate them and yes,sexual images of men do cloud my mind when I do this and it's like I hear these images talking to me asking for sexual favors and even showing their own private parts to me in hopes that I would provide them relief or anything that they want.Plus,past sexual experiences that I have previously can be rehashed and that starts the whole chain all over again.My struggles with the mental illness double whammy were caused by all the traumatic experiences that I had in my life that I shared in my Saturday October 11th post.I also must add that when my mother rescued me from my father's abuse,a bitter custody battle ensued between the two of them.During that bitter custody battle,my father was the cause of another traumatic experience.My mother put me in a particular local school that was affiliated with the church and one day,my father tried to take me out of the school by force after I refused to go with him.I screamed for him to let me go and that I didn't want to go with him,but he ignored my loud pleas.If it weren't for two janitorial workers who were in the right place at the right time,I would've been on my way back to the state of Oklahoma against my will.The police were called and before the custody battle was over and my mother got full custody,he took off and was too cowardly to appear in court.Not only that,at the court house,I was in a literal tug of war between my mother and my father because my father refused to let go of me and all of these things messed me up mentally and emotionally.This,alongside the sexual abuse that I endured when I a 16 year old kid talked me into performing oral sex on him when I was 10 years old and also,the rape episode that I endured when I was 16 years old when a man in my neighborhood tried to ram his genitals up my rectum without using a condom and it hurt horribly.There were also other instances when I was also used and abused by other members of my own gender for their own pleasure.These experiences and all the other traumas in my life,including the spiritual abuse caused by my father and the religious cult that I followed for two brief years,is why I am still caught in the emotional trap of this terrible SSA struggle.As I said before,I have been in therapy all of my life from child therapy to various psychiatrists,psychologists and my current therapy with the nurse practitioner and the social worker who serves as my therapist now at the local hospital,but none of the therapies that I have been with never ever pointed me in the direction of letting go,transcending and going on to discover the true and vital healing that I truly and desperately need.I want to heal from and finally overcome this terrible SSA,but I first need to learn how I can let go,start transcending and really discover the real healing that I so desperately need as I really don't want to repeat this same old cycle of falling and repenting.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also ask that you leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.I also would like some advice on how I can finally let go and transcend from these experiences to discover true healing and finally and really heal from and overcome this terrible SSA.Please continue to pray for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to y'all for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a Celebrate Recovery group in the evening,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in early to mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished showering,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and later on,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things on my agenda for today.I first helped out a friend who needed my help.After that,I turned in a few bottles that I had in the back seat of my car.After that,I went to a local Subway to buy a sandwich.After that,I headed straight home as I didn't like the look of the sky when I was heading for home.
When I got home,I ate my sandwich and while doing so,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.After that,I did some more personal PC work and later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult struggle that I have.At times,I wish that I didn't have to struggle with SSA.The struggle to try and stay sexually sober in the SSA struggle can be very difficult.It isn't easy to stay sexually sober in the struggle.It is always a constant fight to maintain sobriety.I know because I am always in a constant battle to maintain sobriety.I am always being tempted to act out in many ways.There are many ways that someone with SSA can act out besides seeking out partners of the same gender to indulge in sinful sexual activity with.The other ways of acting out are fantasies,lusting and masturbation,which also includes genital manipulation when the genitals are flaccid,that usually goes along with the fantasizing and the lusting.Of course,there is another way that many do and that is looking up porn online and watching it.The thing with all of this is that it does little if nothing to reaffirm a man's true gender identity.The only thing it reaffirms is the so called "Homosexual/Gay" identity,which is a false identity in and of itself.It does get rough for me at times.I am always bombarded by temptations to act out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have.As I stated before,I talked with someone about this sort of thing and they said that I may have some unresolved anger,resentment and trauma issues from my childhood.I am thinking that this could be why I keep getting bombarded as at times,when I get a new therapist,I am always recycling my old stories of all the abuse that I endured throughout my life,which is physical,emotional and sexual.The thing is that while I survived these things,I have never been pointed in the right direction to transcend and move on.I want to discover and actually feel real healing from SSA.I also want to overcome this terrible SSA.I hate that I have these unnatural sexual desires.I also hate it that I struggle with this terrible emotional condition.As I said,I wish that I didn't have to struggle with SSA.Fellow blog followers and readers,I am again asking that you all continue to keep me in your prayers.Please pray that I find the right sort of counseling so I can let go of these issues,start transcending and moving on so I can finally feel the healing that I truly and desperately need.I need that counseling so bad and desperately.I also ask that y'all leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need your verbal encouragement as much I need your prayers.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to y'all for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I quickly washed my hair and shaved.After that,I got dressed up in dress clothes and I headed out to the job placement agency to meet with my job placement counselor/coach to go over a job application that I filled out over the weekend and after that,I signed it and left the agency to drop it off at a local restaurant.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed in casual clothes and I headed out to help a friend.After that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Salvation Army thrift store and I bought a few nice things.After that,I headed over to the drug store to pick up my prescription refill.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into sweatpants and did a little bit more personal PC work.I also started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and watch it.I also relaxed while doing so.I also did some more personal PC work.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it does,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult struggle of the two.Right now,the only thing that I need to work on is how I can transcend the traumatic and abusive situations that I am currently struggling with now.The thing is that if I want to discover and get the real healing that I really need,I need to start learning how to get the issues resolved and start transcending from these experiences.I need to find the right help and therapy so I can start doing that.It is just that I don't want to keep on falling into sin by manipulating my genitals to any sexual images of men that cloud my mind,which leads to fantasizing and lusting after these images.I talked this over with someone that is one of those reparative or conversion therapists and they say that the reason could be that I have some unresolved anger and trauma issues from my childhood and that is the reason why I keep doing this sort of thing repeatedly.If that is the reason,I simply need to see how I can get these issues finally resolved so I can let go,transcend and start moving on to become the man that my Heavenly Father wants and intends me to be.I really want that and I don't want to feel sexual feelings for men anymore.I hate that I have these disgusting and unnatural feelings and I do want to heal from them and also,I want to really overcome this terrible SSA and start being the man I am meant to be.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue your prayers for me as I still really need them.I also still need your positive verbal support as much as your prayerful support.Thanks in advance for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of helping a friend out with something,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I had to return a couple of important phone calls,which were by my job placement counselor/coach and my mechanic.I had to reschedule my appoint with the former for tomorrow morning and with the latter,I have to call him back on Thursday.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and while doing that,I got another phone call from my urologist's office to reschedule my appointment tomorrow to next Wednesday.After that,I finished my personal PC work.When that was finished,I had a light lunch and I watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.Since it was raining today,I stayed home and took it easy.I was also still exhausted from my working yesterday into the late evening.I also in pain here and there.During the relaxation time,I did some more personal PC work and later on,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I popped a DVD into my DVD player and I watched it.After that,I did some more personal PC work.I also enjoyed some music while doing so.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it is,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.In my Saturday night post,I revealed all of the negative experiences that I went through in my life.All the trauma,physical,emotional and sexual abuse and all the issues and hurtful feelings related to these things that I went through.While being a survivor of it all is one thing,I was never able to transcend all of these things.I have been in therapy all of my life.I have been from child psychologists to psychiatrists to social workers and nurse practitioner and none of them ever tried to point me in the direction of letting go,transcending and moving on.I am also taking psychiatric medication alongside the therapy.I really want to heal from and overcome this terrible SSA,but all of the issues that I have gone through haven't been resolved yet,but I want to get them resolved so I can go on and become the man that my Heavenly Father wants and intended me to be.I want to heal from these unnatural sexual desires and go on to become the man I'm meant to be as my Heavenly Father wants and intends me to be.I just need to find the right therapy to do that.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also ask that you leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Please pray that I find the right help and therapy that I need to get these negative issues resolved so I can let go and heal from and overcome this terrible SSA.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.Your support,both prayerful and positive verbal,is still very important to me.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of meeting with my job placement counselor/coach to go over an employment application and helping a friend out in the afternoon,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful,eventful and busy day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and after showering,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got into a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow members,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at another local church that was having a pasta dinner there.After I ate with the people,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into a sweatsuit and I did my personal PC work.While doing that,I got a phone call from my workplace saying that a position opened up for the afternoon and I was asked if I could come in and work.I said sure and after we hung up,I finished my personal PC work.After that was done,I filled out a job application and after that,I did a little bit more personal PC work.After that,I got dressed in work clothes and I headed for work.
When I got to work,I immediately got started and it was great to finally be working.The work time went by pretty fast and when I was finished,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped and got a bite to eat as I was hungry.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I ate my light dinner and waited a while before turning in for the night.I got out of my work clothes and into bed clothes.After relaxing a while,I decided to retire for the evening.Overall,a wonderful,eventful and busy day.I still managed to get a little bit of recommended Holy Bible reading done.
Tonight,since I am exhausted and tired from working,I will not talk about where my struggles are and vice versa as I am tired.Please continue to pray for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.Thanks to y'all for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support and to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of meeting with my job placement counselor/coach for some application assistance,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda for today.I first went to the local Salvation Army thrift store and I bought a few nice things.After that,I headed to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few necessary things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I started to do a little bit more personal PC work.I also started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and I also enjoyed some music.I relaxed for much of the time and I also talked to a few people on the phone.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult struggle.I have been talking so much lately about my falls into sin and everything in regards to my struggles with SSA,but I need to talk about something else.I have been holding something back and tonight,I am going to let it all go.
Last night,when I was at my Celebrate Recovery group,a question was asked asking us what sin or sins are keeping you awake at night or nagging you during the day.Last night,I knew I had to come clean.There have been some things that I have been holding back.I feel that this is why I am still trapped with the unnatural sexual desires that I have.The question asked was "Is there any anger or resentment that you have that is keeping up at night or nagging you through the day?"After all the other men shared,I shared everything.I admitted that I still have some unresolved anger,resentment and trauma issues in my life.I also revealed where the anger and resentment was mostly aimed at.Most of my anger and resentment is still geared towards my father.I revealed that my father physically and emotionally abused me.I also added that aside from that abuse,all that I ever got from my father was his legalism and deprivation.He deprived me of my rights to express myself and only allowed me to only Yes and No answers.I was never allowed anything else and even if I tried to express myself,my father automatically assumed that an evil spirit or a demon was talking through me and he would lay his hands on me and shout out "In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ,get out of my son!" and I would fight to get free from it,but he would apply more strength and he wouldn't let up until I was totally exhausted from fighting to get free.Not only that,my father never gave me any fatherly love nor did he ever share his manliness with me when I was a kid.He was also mostly absent for the vast majority of my life.Not only that,I also have had several traumatic experiences in my life that were mostly instigated by my father,but there were others.One of those was from the domestic violence that I witnessed where my locally living sister was the victim of.I was not only a witness to these violent occurrences,but I too was a victim of that man because there were times that he assaulted me as well when I was still a child.I went from one violent situation with my father to another violent situation with the man that my sister was involved with.The worst traumatic experience of my life was the night when I was chased by a bunch of punks into the path of two cars where the first one struck me and the next one just ran over me and dragged me.I almost lost my life that night and the doctors who worked on me didn't give me a good chance of survival.Fortunately,I survived that night and came through,but the long recovery was very painful and agonizing.Fortunately,I healed up great,but I still feel the pain whenever bad weather is about to come around,which is a vivid reminder of that night.The thing with all of this is that I am always recycling these stories whenever I get a different therapist or when I get involved with a new recovery group.Nobody has ever pointed me in the direction of resolving and transcending these experiences so I can discover what real healing I can get from this terrible SSA and all the other emotional issues that I want to get resolved.I also had some terrible emotional issues from a religious cult that I followed for two years of my life.Again,I was pointed in the direction of getting these issues resolved and transcending beyond it all so I can really heal from all of these experiences.The problem is that I really don't know how to go about it.I don't know how to simply let go and move on.I want to heal from and overcome this terrible SSA and go on to become the man that my Heavenly Father wants me and intends me to be.I am always shouting angry things to myself like if I am lashing out at the people who have made me angry pretending that they are there in the room with me.It is not just my father,but also my locally living sister and other people like so called friends who used me and abused me for their own selfish pleasures,those who sexually abused me,which contributed to my SSA struggles and also confused me,and those who bullied and assaulted me years ago and also,called me horrible names that I wouldn't even call my my mother(may she rest in peace)or my father even if they were those things that I was called.Fellow blog followers and readers,if any of you have any ideas or what books and articles that I can read that can help me let go and finally get the resolutions and transcending that I desperately need to finally start getting the real healing that I need to not only heal from and overcome SSA,but also all the other issues that I need to get resolved.I still need your prayers and yes as usual,I still need your positive verbal support in the comments section.I really need all the support and advice that I can get.I still need prayerful support as much as I need your positive verbal support.Please continue to pray for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered hurriedly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first had a meeting with my caseworker that was at my house.After the meeting was over,I headed out to do some much needed shopping.
I first went to the local Salvation Army thrift store and bought a few nice things.After that,I headed over to a local Big Lots to pick up a few food items.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something that I desperately needed.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did some more personal PC work.
After I ate a light meal,I headed over to the Friday night Celebrate Recovery group,which was a wonderful meeting.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,since I was tired,I changed out of my casual clothes into bed clothes and prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
Since I am extremely tired as a result of my medication kicking in,I am simply going to leave it at this point.I will start to share anything in regards to my struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA tomorrow.All that I ask is that you continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance for your support and Thanks also to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual on Sunday morning,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had a cup of coffee.I also had to shower quickly because I was meeting my job placement counselor/coach at the agency and I had to hurry.After my quick shower,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed up in dress clothes quickly and I headed over to the agency so my job placement counselor/coach could analyze the application and tell me whether it is ready or not.When she said that it was ready,I dated the application and after attaching my resume and her business card,I turned the application in.After that,I headed straight home after I picked up another job application on the way.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and into a sweatsuit.I had a light lunch and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.After it was over,I did a little bit more PC work and started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and I also enjoyed a little music while doing so.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it does,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult struggle of the two.Today,I was overwhelmed by temptations after two straight days of none.I was tempted to fantasize and lust after other men,which also led to being tempted to touch myself inappropriately by manipulating my genitals.Fortunately for me,the temptations did die down and I had to take the initiative to try and replace the sexual thoughts that the evil spirits were feeding my brain and tempting me.I decided to simply lay down and read a little bit and the temptations died down.I am hoping that I don't get overwhelmed by temptations for a long time.I have more than enough stress in my life and having to deal and endure temptations to act out on the unnatural sexual desires that I have makes my life even more stressful.I don't have very much here in my hometown in regards to getting help with SSA and wanting to heal from and overcome it.Right now,they are still trying to find a new priest to take over the local Courage ministry and I have to check back near the end of the month to see if they found a new priest to take over.I am hoping that they do because I need to get back into this.I need to find men who understand what I am going through in my area so I can get some support,including acceptance of myself as I am by these other men and also,the affirmations that I desperately need.Right now,my only source of that type of support is Celebrate Recovery and the retired pastor who has been serving as my Christian counselor for the past several months.I do have my usual mental health therapy,but I refuse to talk about my struggles with SSA with them.Why?Because those in the mental health profession in the USA usually encourage those with SSA desires to embrace the so called "Homosexual/Gay" identity and live their lives in sinfulness by indulging in sinful sexual activity with members of their own gender,even though there are many,including myself,don't want to do that at all.So,I keep it from them and share my SSA struggles only with the right people.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,I would really appreciate that you all would leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to y'all for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my evening Celebrate Recovery group,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished showering,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and when that was finished,I got dressed and I proceeded with what I had to do today.
I only had a couple of things on my agenda for today.I first went to a local supermarket to continue getting more food for the month and after that,I paid a bill that needed to be paid.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to fill out a job application and I left a message with my job placement counselor/coach to give me a call so I can make an appointment to meet with her so she can check it out and I can turn it in.After that,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I relaxed while watching it.I also did some more personal PC work.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it is,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,though it is,I wasn't tempted in any way,shape or form today.I guess that by staying busy and keeping my mind on important things,it took my mind off of the sexual aspects of the SSA struggle.There are still some obstacles that I need to overcome and conquer,but I have to take it one day at a time.Though I did escape today unscathed,there is still tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.I still need to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any time with temptations of all sorts.I still have to show these terrible unnatural sexual desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.I am still working on this.I am also still a work in progress and I have to take this process one day at a time.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be afraid to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.It helps keep me going.It also helps reaffirm and reassure me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.I feel alone when people visit,but leave nothing in the comments section.I still need the support from all of you.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and when that was finished,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and watch it.After that was over,I got dressed and proceeded to get on with my day.
I had only a couple of things on my agenda for today.I first went to the post office to mail out an important payment and when that was finished,I headed for a couple of local stores to pick up a couple of things for a light evening meal.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to listen to a little music and I did some more personal PC work.I also had a phone conversation with someone that I hadn't spoken to in a long time.After that was done,I did a little bit more personal PC work.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult struggle that I have.Today,I can say that I wasn't tempted to act out in any way,shape or form.I wasn't tempted to act out by fantasies and lusting as no sexual images of men clouded my mind.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is still tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.I have to continue to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any time with temptations galore.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't hesitate to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.Your support really matters and is very important to me.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and when I was finished,I laid down to read for a while and after that,I headed out.
I only had two things on my agenda for today.I first went to a local restaurant to pick up a job application and after that,I went to a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things for my evening meal tonight.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did some more personal PC work.After that was done,I prepared a light evening meal.
After eating,I relaxed and enjoyed some music.I also had a conversation with a friend over the phone.After that,I did a little bit more reading.Later on,I started to get ready for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and my most difficult struggle of the two,SSA.The SSA struggle can be a very difficult struggle.It can get even more tougher as the days go on and on.What makes the struggle get even more difficult is when you hear in the news about same-sex marriages,same-sex couplings and unions and also,children who want to change their gender identity,such as boys wanting to be girls and girls wanting to be boys.I sometimes wonder why can't they leave what our sovereign Lord and creator,our Heavenly Father,made and created just the way it is.I feel that the creator plays a role in who is born male or female and that these children should learn to be satisfied with what their gender identity is and embrace their gender identity.Why can't they do that?The thing is if they were meant to be male,they should accept their male identity and embrace it and not try to change it.The same thing is also applied to one born a female.Not only that,it is also the way our culture is trying to redefine marriage and family arrangements.They're trying to redefine it so two members of the same gender can marry and also,have a family where there are two fathers and two mothers.The thing is that no child,either male or female,should be without both a father and a mother as that is not what the family and marital arrangements were intended for nor made for by our creator,our Heavenly Father who created humans and also,the marital and family arrangements in the beginning when he did create it all.It does make the SSA struggle difficult as when I see and hear these things in the news,it disillusions me.I am struggling and trying to do what is right in the eyes of my Heavenly Father,but things like this make doing the right thing very difficult.I am also trying to learn to accept and embrace my gender identity and I am also trying to go through the process to heal from the wounds that are the root cause of my SSA struggles and also,I am trying to overcome SSA successfully like many others I have heard about have done successfully.Today,I was overwhelmed by temptations to fantasize and lust after other men,but fought not to give into these terrible temptations.With what I said above,I see that our culture is getting warped by the day and it's getting worse and worse with no sign of it ever getting better.I want to do the right thing,but my sinful fleshly nature wants me to do the opposite of the right thing.I can't let these unnatural sexual desires own me.I want to own them and not the other way around.Fellow blog followers and readers,I am still in need of your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,I would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need your prayers and encouraging comments.Please continue praying for me.Please also leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to y'all for your prayers and continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished showering,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.There were a lot of people this morning in church.It was actually more than usual.After some wonderful fellowship and a charity lunch at a fire hall across the street from the church,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into a sweatsuit.I did my personal PC work and while doing so,I had some music on.After it was done,I laid down and read for a while.
I was invited out to dinner at a friend's place.I got dressed in casual clothes and I headed over to their place.
The dinner was wonderful.We talked for a few hours and when it was late in the evening,I left and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got ready to go to sleep.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
For tonight,since I am tired and a little exhausted,I will report on my struggles again starting tomorrow.I only ask that all of you please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also ask that you leave some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you and Thanks to my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished showering,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed out to the monthly Men's Network meeting.
The meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a Salvation Army thrift store in the area where the meeting was and I bought a few things.After that,I headed to the public library in the area to print a couple of online articles to read.After that,I headed for the local Super Wal-Mart when I got back into my area and picked up a couple more things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a sweatsuit and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I laid down to read for a while.After this,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I watched a little TV and after that,I did some more personal PC work.I also laid down again and read a little bit more.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a very good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still struggling daily with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult struggle of the two.Yes,it is.At times,the SSA struggles gets so difficult that I don't know whether I am coming or going.Today,I was overwhelmed again with temptation and they can get very strong at times.Today,I was tempted left and right to act out by fantasies and lusting.I was also tempted to manipulate my private parts at the same time.I wish that I didn't have to struggle with this.I hate that I have these unnatural sexual desires.I also hate it that I find members of my own gender sexually attractive.I know for those out in the world who have these same attractions,it is a cause for living it up and celebrating,but for me,I am a believer in the sovereign Lord and creator,my Heavenly Father and his son,the Lord and savior Jesus Christ,as my Heavenly Father condemns the sexual practices that are connected with this condition.His sacred word,the Holy Bible,condemns these sexual practices and calls them sinful.I believe and know that the sexual activity associated with Homosexuality is sinful,unnatural and above all,wrong.I am in a constant war with these unnatural sexual desires that I have and the war can be very difficult to fight every day.I am always working on not letting these unnatural sexual desires own me because I want to own them.I am still hoping that one day,I can really feel healing from these desires and also,I want to accomplish the goal of fully overcoming this terrible SSA.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need your support,both prayerful and positive verbal,daily and often.It both reaffirms and reassures me that I am not alone.Please keep your support coming.I so desperately need it as I am going through a very rough and difficult emotional time in my life at the moment.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I got dressed and I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I first went to have lunch at a local kitchen.After that,I headed for the bank to withdraw some money and pay a bill.I then went to a local hair place to have my hair cut.After that,I went grocery shopping at the local Super Wal-Mart.After paying for those things,I headed to a local Dollar tree store to pick up some snacking food.I also went to a local supermarket to pick up a few more things.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I had a light evening meal and when I was finished with that,I decided to listen to some music and do some more personal PC work.There was a torrential downpour of rain and there was thunder and lightning alongside High winds.I chose to keep the TV off to be on the safe side.After a while,I laid down and read for a while.Later on,I did a little bit more personal PC work and I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still struggling daily with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,with the latter being the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and that led to fantasizing and lusting after these images and I ejaculated while doing so.I really felt miserable and ashamed of myself after I did that and after washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father and asked for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and left nothing out.I admitted everything to my Heavenly Father and asked him to forgive me for my sins while also accepting full and total responsibility for my fall.When I was finished,I felt better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.I still need to work on getting tough with myself.I am sick and tired of falling constantly.I can't keep falling into sin.I need to work on resistance and getting tough.I need to show these unnatural sexual desires that I have that I own them and that they don't own me.I can't let Satan and his minions bring out the worst in me as a result of these unnatural sexual desires that I have.I need to kick Satan and his minions to the curb every time I get the temptation to act out by fantasizing and lusting after other men.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.Please leave me some verbal encouragement in the comments section.I really need it as I feel alone when nobody leaves anything encouraging in the comments section.Please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also ask that you please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the upcoming weekend,with the exception of a Men's Network group tomorrow and church as usual on Sunday,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the upcoming weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed up in dress clothes real quickly and I headed for the agency so my job placement counselor/coach and I could fill out a job application.After we filled it out,I left the agency to drop it off and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into casual clothes and I headed back out to have lunch at a local kitchen.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I headed back out to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending several minutes with him,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Wendy's to buy a side salad for dinner.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I started to prepare my evening meal and while that was heating up,I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched a little TV and after that,I did some more personal PC work.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it does,I am still struggling daily with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,with the latter being my most difficult of the two.Today,I actually gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals and yes,sexual images of men clouded my mind and I also gave into the temptation to fantasize and lust after these images.I managed to stop myself and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed and while I did,I left nothing out.I admitted everything.When I was finished praying,I felt better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.I still need to work on getting tough with myself.I need to find out why I keep giving into these terrible temptations.I can't let Satan and his minions get what they want.I want to heal from and overcome this terrible SSA.Again,I need to find out why I keep giving in.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also ask that you please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I am still in need of both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.I feel alone when nobody leaves me any positive verbal support in the comments section.Please leave me some encouraging words in the comments section.I need it very much.I also ask that you continue to keep me in your prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed out to a local kitchen for lunch and after that,I headed for a gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few needed things.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put what I had bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and enjoyed some music and a little TV.I also prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I watched a little more TV and did some more personal PC work.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it does so,I am still struggling daily against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult struggle that I have.Today,though it is,I wasn't tempted today to act out.I wasn't tempted to fantasize nor lust nor to manipulate my genitals.It was a relief that no temptations came around today.Though I did escape today unscathed,there is still tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.I still need to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any time.They can try to tempt me to act out in any way,shape or form.I need to show them that I own these unnatural sexual desires that I have and that they don't own me.Though I did escape today unscathed,I am still asking that you please keep me in your prayers as I still need them.I also ask that you leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need your verbal encouragement as much as I need your prayers.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to y'all for your continued prayers and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of an appointment that I have with my job coach to help get an application for work filled out,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished showering,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and headed out.I headed for a local kitchen to have lunch and after I was finished,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local bakery to have a loaf of bread,that I picked up at the local kitchen,sliced.After that,I headed for the local Salvation Army thrift store to look around and drop some stuff off.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I laid down and read for a while.When I was finished with that,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I watched a little TV and I also did some more personal PC work.Later on,I started preparing for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still struggling daily with BPD/Schizophrenia and my most difficult struggle of the two,SSA.Today,I again gave into the temptation to fantasize and lust after other men.Yes,I also gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my fall into sin.I prayed hard and left nothing out as I prayed.I admitted everything and when I was finished,I felt better and I truly believed that I was forgiven.I know that I have said this quite a few times,but I feel that I need to,as I really need to start getting really tough with myself,because I keep getting tempted to fantasize and lust after other men and I keep giving into that terrible temptation.I don't know why.I want to find out why,but I don't know how to find out why.Maybe if I find out why,I can stop giving into it and maybe get a resolution to this terrible problem and start seriously healing from this terrible SSA and start overcoming it and start really progressing.I need prayers real badly right now.I also need some serious positive verbal support right now.Please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I badly need both types of support right now as I really need to get to the bottom of this problem that I have.I want to stop giving into the terrible temptation to fantasize and lust after other men.Please continue praying for me.I also ask that you please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued and much needed prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I got a phone call from my job placement counselor/coach and she told me that I had an interview for a job today and after hanging up,I showered quickly and after showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and after that,while getting dressed in dress clothes,I got another phone call from her and she told me to meet her at the agency and after that,follow her to where the interview was,which I did.
The interview went by quickly and my job placement counselor/coach let me know that she would get back to me by the end of the day and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into casual clothes and after that,I headed out to have lunch at a local kitchen.After that,I headed to a gas station to get gas and after that,I went to the public library to register the bills that I got in change after getting gas.After that,I stopped at a used book store and I bought four record albums.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work while awaiting my job placement counselor/coach to call me,but I didn't hear from her.I called the agency and left a message on her voice-mail and after that,I cleaned the kitchen sink and when that was done,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I watched a little TV and I also did some more personal PC work.I also enjoyed a little music and later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two struggles for me.Today,I gave into temptation by masturbating to sexual images of men clouding my mind.Yes,I fantasized and lusted after other men and I was really ashamed of myself and felt sorrowful.After cleaning my hands,I immediately went my Heavenly Father in prayer and I prayed for forgiveness and mercy in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed hard and I left nothing out.I unloaded everything and accepted full and total responsibility for my fall into sin.When I was finished,I felt better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.I still need to work on getting tough on myself.I want to heal from and overcome this terrible SSA,but I am not doing a very good job at it.I want to do a good job,but my sinful nature prevents me.I need to get back on track and work on my goals to overcome and heal from SSA.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both types of your support,prayerful and positive verbal,daily and often.Your support is very important to me.I get a lot of visitors,but the visitors rarely post anything.Positive verbal support both reaffirms and reassures me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Your support also helps keep me going.Please continue to pray for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to y'all for your prayers and verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished showering,I had my usual quick breakfast.After my breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things.After paying for these,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into casual clothes.I had to go back out again to go to the drug store to pick up my refilled prescription.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did my personal PC work.After that,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I relaxed.Later on,I prepared a light evening meal.
After eating,I watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player and relaxed while watching it.I also did some more personal PC work.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still struggling day after day with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I can report that I wasn't tempted today.It was great that I had a rest from temptations today.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is still tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.Satan and his minions can strike when least expected with temptation after temptation.I have to continue to stay on guard and be watchful as temptations can hit at any time because,as stated,Satan and his minions can strike when least expected.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,I would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I get a lot of visitors,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both your prayerful and positive verbal support.I feel alone when nobody leaves me a comment in the comments section.I need positive verbal support as much as I need prayerful support.Please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Please continue to pray for me also.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.While having my coffee,I watched a little TV and after that,I showered.When I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast and after that,I did my personal PC work.When I was finished with my PC work,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.After that,I headed out to do a little bit of shopping and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I started to prepare my evening meal and I also did a little bit more personal PC work.
After eating,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.After that,I did a little bit more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still going through my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult struggle.That gets too apparent day in and day out every day.Today,likewise with today,I was overwhelmed by temptations.I was tempted to act out with fantasies and lusting after other men and to also manipulate my genitals.It was tough fighting and resisting these terrible unnatural urges that were overwhelming me.These urges really get stronger every time resistance is put up.I went to my Heavenly Father and asked him to give me the strength to help me fight and resist these terrible urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed and didn't cease until the urges were completely gone.When I was finished praying,I felt better and much stronger.Now,I need ti work on asking for strength daily from my Heavenly Father whenever these urges come around.I need and have to show my Heavenly Father that I am very and totally serious about wanting to heal from and overcome this terrible SSA.I hate finding members of my own gender sexually attractive and I also hate that I struggle with this terrible condition.I want to heal from and overcome this terrible SSA.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.When I don't get any positive verbal support in the comments section,I feel alone and lonely in this particular struggle.I need your positive verbal support to help keep me going and hanging in there.Your positive verbal support helps reaffirm and reassure me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.I also need your prayerful support as well.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing else planned.But I Hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and after that,I got dressed and I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I only had two things on my agenda for today.I first went to the bank to withdraw some much needed money.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered a couple of the bills on Where's George.After that,I did some more personal PC work and after that,I headed out to get some dinner at a local take-out place.I headed for home after that.
When I got home,I ate my take-out dinner and after that,I headed for my weekly Celebrate Recovery group,which was wonderful.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into sleep clothes and I did a little bit more personal PC work.After that,I prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still struggling with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I was overwhelmed by temptation.It started as I was about to get out of bed this morning.Satan and his minions really try to get anyone who wants to do the right thing to do what is wrong.I had to really fight today to stay strong and resist these overwhelming urges.The SSA struggle gets more difficult every day.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and I also would really appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.Please continue to pray for me.I also need some positive verbal support in the comments section.Your support,both prayerful and positive verbal,helps keep me going.It also helps reaffirm and reassure me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to pray for me and also,I again ask that you leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to y'all for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed up in dress clothes and I headed out to the job placement agency to sign a job application that my job placement counselor/coach filled out on my behalf and also said that she would turn it in for me on my behalf.After that,I headed straight home to change into casual clothes and I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after I was finished,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and relaxed for much of the day.I also watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
I decided to eat out tonight.A local church in the area near my house was having a free dinner night and I headed over there.The food was great and the people I met there were wonderful.After I was finished,I stopped at a local 7-11 to pick up some cookies.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.I also did some more PC work.I later prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still going through my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of my struggles.Today,though it is painful and shameful for me to admit this,I did give into temptation by looking up online porn and also,I manipulated my genitals to what I was watching.I stopped myself and I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked him to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out.I admitted everything to my Heavenly Father and when I was finished,I felt much better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.That slip was one slip too many.I need to start buckling down and stop these things.I am really serious about wanting to heal and overcome SSA.I can't keep giving into these things.I still need to work on getting tough with myself and showing this terrible SSA that I own it and not the other way around.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to pray for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that you leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need your positive verbal support as much as I need your prayerful support.Your support helps keep me going.It also reaffirms and reassures me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Celebrate Recovery group meeting tomorrow evening,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished showering,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.After that,I did a little bit more personal PC work and I also cleaned up a little bit around the house.Later on,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I watched a little bit of TV and after that,I did some more personal PC work.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
I stayed home for much of the day as I had nothing to do nor anyplace to go.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward and I am feeling better from last week.However,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of them.Today,though it is,I can say that I wasn't tempted to fantasize nor lust after other men nor was I tempted to manipulate my genitals and for the first time in a quite a while,no sexual images of men clouded my mind.I was glad that for the first time in a while,I wasn't overwhelmed by temptations.However,though I did escape today,there is still tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.I still need to stay on guard and be watchful.Satan and his minions can strike at any time.I need to show these unnatural sexual desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.I have to make the resolve to fully rely on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for this particular struggle as I know that I can never go this struggle alone.I also need the support of those who continually visit my blog and read my posts.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.Your support,both prayerful and positive verbal,really matters to me and also,it's very important to me.Your support not only helps keep me going,but also both reaffirms and reassures me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to pray for me.I also ask that you leave some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do an provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of an appointment with my job placement counselor/coach to sign a job application that I will be turning in tomorrow,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery is still moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I went out to check up on my schedule at work and I am still not getting any hours in since the start of this month.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped somewhere to pick up an empty cardboard box that I needed to put some stuff in.After picking it up,I purchased something at a local close-out store and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put what I had bought away and I did some more personal PC work.Later on,I prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I watched some TV and I did some more personal PC work.As it was approaching later evening,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery is still moving onward,especially after last week when I was in a state of depression over the approaching 2nd anniversary of my mom's passing away,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Emotionally and mood wise,I am feeling much better as I have gotten through last week and the day that the anniversary came.In regards to my SSA struggles,I need prayers please.I have been overwhelmed by temptation much of the day.I need prayers by every one of you.Please pray for me.When I am overwhelmed by temptation,I,at times,never know whether I am coming or going.I feel stuck in the middle between Homosexuality and Heterosexuality most of the time.It always happens when I am being overwhelmed by temptation.I also ask that y'all leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need your positive verbal support as much I need your prayerful support.Your positive verbal support both reaffirms and reassures me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Your support in both of these areas also helps keep me going.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to y'all for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ