Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.The work shift went by well and I did not have too much to do except what I had to do.The morning wroker does a very good job and I actually like how he works.I simply did what I had to do and bagged all clean and dropped it all off at the drug/alcohol rehab center and started home.
On the way home,I went to pay the car insurance.My niece paid me for the insurance this afternoon before I left for work and that was great.Again,on the way home,I paid for it and I am now all set for the month.
After that,I went and cashed my paycheck at the bank and went home.
My mom was already making dinner when I got home.It was homemade soup.The weather has been pretty cold as of late and a bowl of homemade soup really was the thing for it.It was wonderful.The soup really filled me up.After dinner,I did some more computer work and afterwards,I did a scan on my computer for viruses and spyware and my computer was clean.There were no viruses or spyware to be found and that was great.
Whiel teh scan was going on,my mom and I watched the classic animated specil Olive The Other Reindeer,which is about a dog who goes to the North Pole to help pull Santa's sleigh after Blitzen gets hurt.It was great.I own this on video and it was wonderful to watch without commercial interruptions.There was a repeat of one of my mom's favorite shows and we thought that we would watch this instead.Again,it was wonderful.
Tomorrow night is my night to entertain the crowd.I am looking forward to that.I am hoping that the night goes well.For the next two weeks,I am going to be singing Christmas songs.Because the holiday is near and I would like to get everybody into the spirit of things.I am hoping that evening goes well.
I will also be helping my mom with the grocery shopping tomorrow afternoon.I am hoping that we can get everything we need.
Regarding the rest of the weekend,I don't know what I will do.But whatever it is,I am hoping that it will have a positive affect on me.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.The work day went by pretty smoothly but I am now feeling angry.
After work,I went home to relax a bit before taking my mom holiday shopping.I was a little tired and I needed some relaxation time to collect my thoughts and to recharge.
The shopping trip went as well as planned.My mother got almost everything that she needed to forget but she forgot a few other people.After shopping,we had two homemade sandwiches from Subway when we got home after purchasing them at a Wal-Mart location.
It was after we bought the sandwiches that my mom forgot the few other people that she was supposed to buy for.This is one of the reasons why I am feeling anger.The major reason is because my mom asked if she could borrow some money to make up for this.I am just wondering to myself WHY?!
It never fails.Each and every time I get ahead financially,I always have to loan my mom money.I am beginning to wonder.Is that woman psychic?Does she always know every time that I am ahead financially is the time to pester me for money?This is the main reason why I am feeling angry.I have my own money problems and this is what I don't need.I am already having enough stress trying to get my niece to pay her half of the insurance money ahead of the due date and now this.This is really starting to drive me up the wall.I understand that I sometimes have to do a little bit more for my mom but this is getting ridiculous.I felt that my mom should have thought twice before buying sandwiches from Subway because each time she makes a mistake,I end up bailing her out.This is becoming monotonous.I know that I will get paid back next month but I was hoping to use that money for gas for my car.Oh well.I guess that I will be bailing my mom out each and every time I turn around.This is why I am thinking of trying to be on my own.I am getting tired of taking care of this lady.I need to take care of myself and I sometimes can not bail my mom each and every time.If I am ahead money wise,I want to stay ahead.I should not have to bail out certain family members each and every time.At least,it is the way that I feel about it.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes smoothly.I am also hoping that the weekend goes better for me as well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day and weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too exciting of a day today.I simply did the scheduled laundry pick-up that I was supposed to do and I also had lunch at work after doing so.After that,I simply got some gas in my tank and I also managed to mail out a few more holiday cards.It was pretty well.It was just getting on with life as always and trying to keep a positive attitude about it.
When I got home,I simply changed back into my PJ's to lay down.I had a difficult time trying to get to sleep last night after going to bed.Though I did take my medication and tried to go to sleep,I had a tough time.While trying to do so,I managed to have those damned flashbacks of me having sexual relations with men and I wound up masturbating to them.After I got back up to wash my hands and use the bathroom,I asked the creator to forgive me before I finally got to sleep.When I got home,I simply went back to bed to take a nap to catch up on some lost sleep and afterwards,I felt better.
When I woke up,I simply checked the daily mail that I had received and I also finished my personal computer work after having a light dinner.Before doing that,I washed my hair because I did not want my hair to look messy if I went out.I do believe in being neat and looking neat.
For much of the day,I was also feeling at edge.My mom has been harping me to help her with her holiday shopping and I keep telling her that it was on my agenda and I was going to do that and also that I had not forgotten it.I did promise to do it tomorrow.My mom has been harping me so much as of late.She has never let up.It has been like this the past several days.I am hoping that after tomorrow,I won't have to hear it anymore.
Earlier tonight,I went back to the Roman Catholic shrine to pray.I had to say prayers because of the sexual addictions that I have been trying to overcome and I also had to pray for a friend who had suffered a heart attack last week.My relapse last night coupled with my falling short by watching Gay pornography online over a few days span was the motivation for me to go out there and pray.After doing so,I felt better and I also left with a cleaner feeling about myself.When I drove home,I felt really good driving home and I also felt better about myself.I am hoping that the next few days are better for me.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well for me.After work,I will be helping my mom with her holiday shopping.I still need to complete my holiday shopping.It is almost done.I only have a couple more things to get.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am actually feeling great.I had a pretty good day today.Though the work day went by pretty tough and I also had to take some guff from my mother when I got home from work today,I managed to have a pretty good day today.The day weather wise was pretty rough.It was mostly a lot of rain and sleet but it was just a part of the season.It was also very cold today but not freezing.I still managed to get some things done today.I managed to do my job and get that done over all else and also drop the clean laundry off.Again,though the day was rough and I also had some really bad downs,I still hung in there and it was really neat.
I really did not have much time to relax after work.I was anticipating this evening and going to the new support group at another church.After I ate dinner,I managed to get some computer work done and leave to get to the meeting tonight on time.The church that I go to for meetings now is closer to home for me.It is just a 10-15 minute drive away for me.It's more convenient for me and I am glad.
I went there tonight and it was wonderful.I met some new men there and they are an awesome bunch of guys.I had a wonderful time talking with all of them and sharing the issues that I am dealing with,which is SSA and anger problems.It was really neat.I had a great time and the meeting was wonderful.I am looking forward to next week's meeting.I am looking forward to going to quite a few of the meetings in the next several weeks.I am also hoping that they are as wonderful as this one.But it was a wonderful meeting tonight and I am confident and sure that each and every meeting will be that way.Still,I will continue to hope.
Tomorrow is a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick-up goes smoothly.As for the rest of the day,I have not made any plans but whatever I do,I hope that it affects me in a positive way,.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.I ran an errand for my mom and I also managed to get some more mailing done.I had to mail a money order out to a friend of mine in California to get a few more DVD's of Big Blue Marble episodes.I am hoping that the money order gets there soon.I had delivery confirmation put on it so I can track it in the next few days.Again,I am hoping that the money order gets there soon.
Aside from that,I just had to do a little something for my mom and that was all.It was nothing much.It was just a personal thing that I had to do.But I got it done and that gives me a feeling of accomplishment.
Last night,I went out to have a few drinks with the guys at the place where I entertain and it was great.I had some laughs and great chit chats with the guys and gals who were there.I even played a few songs on the jukebox that was there.It was great to just be there and have some laughs and talk with the patrons.I will be going to do that again next Sunday.I will still be singing up a storm every Saturday night there but it is always great to just sit and chill with the people for just a few minutes.Again,I will be doing that again next Sunday night.
Tonight,my anger management/conflict resolution group meeting went great.It was wonderful to be in the group and share some stuff with them.I am looking forward to next week's meeting.
I also heard from a former support group at the church member that another church is starting another group.The first meeting will be tomorrow night.I will have to get directions to that church so I can go there tomorrow night.I am hoping that it will be as wonderful as the one that I used to go to.I know that I will be meeting some new people and getting to know them.I am looking forward to that tomorrow night.
The Buffalo Sabres lost tonight to the Boston Bruins by a score of 4-1 at home.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.I ran a few errands for my mom and I also mailed out the vast majority of my Christmas cards that had to be sent.These were staying in the USA and I wanted to get these out so they would get to the people on time before the holiday sets in.I still have a few more to be mailied out tomorrow,but those will be going out to other country's ;ike Canada and England.I also have one more local one to be sent out.I also have to send out a money order to a friend of mine in California to get a few more Big Blue Marble DVD's.I only have a few more things to buy for the holiday's.My shopping is almost done.I have only a few more things to buy.I am hoping that I can obtain them.With this being the holiday season,you never know if a store is going to have what you are looking for or if they are going to be out of stock.But I hope that I can get them.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went great.I did a tribute to John Lennon because it was the anniversary of his murder that happened 27 years ago.I still miss John Lennon to this very day.I am still feeling sadness and anger.Sadness because John Lennon is no longer with us.Anger at the man who murdered him.It was horrible what happened to John Lennon back in 1980.Again,my tribute to John Lennon went great and I also had a blast doing it.
The best thing about last night is that the Buffalo Sabres kicked ass.They clobbered the San Jose Sharks by a score of 7-1.It was great seeing them win after those two pathetic consecutive losses.But it is great that they won and it also made the night more wonderful.
Regarding the rest of the night,I might go out and have a friendly drink with the guys over at the place where I entertain.If not,I will just stay home and take it easy.
That was my day today and my night last night and my possible plans for the rest of the evening.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good,hopeful and optimistic.I had a pretty good day today.I simply ran a few errands for my mom and I also got some stamps so I can mail out my Christmas cards on Monday.But I am thinking of mailing them out on Sunday evening so they can go out on Monday morning first thing.The rest of the stuff that I had to get was just minor things such as coffee and a can of diced tomatoes for tonight's pasta dinner.
Tonight is my night to entertain the crowd.I am looking forward to this with a lot of enthusiasm and optimism,including a little hope to sweeten it.I will be doing my yearly tribute to John Lennon.Tonight is the 27th anniversary of his passing.I am looking forward to this as I look forward to singing every Saturday night.I am hoping that the night goes over well for me.Though I rarely,if ever,have an off night singing,I still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.But I feel that everything is going to go well for me as it has always went.But I still hope for things to go well.I feel that there is nothing wrong with a little bit of hope.
I am now at home relaxing.I am feeling hopeful.I will be getting ready to go out later to really do what I really love to do.I really enjoy what I do.It is always a pleasure to entertain for some really appreciative people.It is always wonderful.But still,I always hope for the night to go good no matter what.
Tomorrow is Sunday.I have no plans but whatever I do,I hope that it affects me in a positive way.
That was my day today and my hopes for tonight and for the rest of the weekend.FJ

Tonight,I am actually feeling pretty good.The work shift went by smoothly and I also had a very good lunch.There was no problem at work today.There were no loads left behind in the washers to finish and I simply did my work and dropped off what was clean at the drug/alcohol rehab center.After that,I only made a couple of stops along the way before going home.
After I got home,I did some personal computer work that needed to get done.It was nothing much.It was just some e-mail work that I had to do.After I had done that,I had a light dinner.
While I was eating my dinner,I did a virus scan on my computer and I also wrote out some Christmas cards that I have to send out on Monday.I also listened to a few of my Christmas 8-Tracks(Yes,8-Tracks) that I have in my personal collection.Most of the 8-Tracks that I played worked great and sounded great.I simply hooked up an old Bradford 8-Track player that I had to my Crosley nostalgic styled mini stereo with built in turntable,cassette player,radio and CD recorder.It was wonderful to listen to those after all those years.Plus,they were Christmas themed.It was awesome.I also had an awesome time writing out all those Christmas cards.These are actually going out out of or within the state of New York and out of the country.I still have more to write out but I am resting my hands at the moment from all that writing.Tomorow or Sunday afternoon,I will resume writing more for the local people that I know who I sent to regularly.
The best news all day is that there were no viruses or spyware on my computer and that made me feel better.
I am now relaxing at home.I am also getting ready for tomorrow night.I am going to entertaining the crowd as always by singing.I will be doing my yearly tribute to John Lennon.I will be singing songs that he did during his solo career and when he was in The Beatles.I am hoping that the evening goes well.
I also have to go to the post office and pick up some stamps so I can send out my Christmas cards.I will be sending out 56 in all.I still have more to send out when I get around to writing them.Most of these are going to my friends who are members of a couple of online forums that I am a member of.It is going to be wonderful to send them out on Monday.
I also watched two favorite holiday specials.They were Frosty The Snowman and Frosty Returns.I watched them on DVD so I could watch them without commercials.Overall,a pretty good day.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better.I had a pretty good day today.The work shift went by smoothly.I also had a very good,if light,lunch.It was awesome.After my shift was done,I simply dropped off the clean laundry at the drug/alcohol rehab center and went home to relax a bit before going to my appointment with my substitute sexual absue support counselor.
I did a fraction of my personal computer work when I got home today while I was relaxing.It was not too much to do.I simply read a portion of my e-mails.After my relazation,I got dressed and went to my appointment.
While on the way there,I stopped at a post office to mail out an important letter.It was a purchase order that I was making so I could get a few CD's for a few members of my family for the holiday.I am hoping that these will be well received.I mailed them out by 3 day Priority Mail so it can get there in 3 days or less.I also had delivery confirmation put on it so I can check in a few days to see if it got there.
My session with my substitute sexual abuse support counselor went well.It wasn't a very long session as there was nothing mych to talk about.My next appointment will be with my regular counselor will be in January of the new year.It will be wonderful to have my regular counselor back after her long maternal leave.On the way home,I stopped at a couple of stores to pick a couple of things for my mom.I also went to do some personal shopping at a Wal-Mart in my hometown also while on the way home and at a Big Lots not too far away from there.
After a light dinner,I finished my personal computer work.I also did some last minute personal shopping before the evening was through.I had to get a few more personal items that I had forgotten to get earlier.Plus,the weather has been really COLD as of late but we are now supposed to get relief from the cold temps within the next few days.It will not be much.It will just be in the 30's and that's it.But it will be nice to have a break from all the cold temps where it will not be so cold.Overall,a pretty good day.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better.I had a not too exciting of a day today.I simply spent all day running errands for myself and my mom.After I completed the laundry pick-up and had lunch over at work,I ran the errands.I had to mail out a few important letters for my mom today so they would get to their destinations.They were simply bills.After that,I went home to take a nap because I did not get an awful lot of sleep last night.But even that was a chore.I had yet another flashback from my past when I used to have sexual relations with other men.I wound up masturbating to these.Though I felt miserable afterwards,I did feel better after asking for forgiveness from the creator.I still need to learn how I can overcome SSA and the stuff that accompanies it.I am going to take the advice of a friend and order that DVD of Overcoming Masturbation from that site called Evergreen International and see if it will help me out.It will have to wait until next month due to this being the Christmas season.But I am going to hold my head high and try to keep fighting.I need to know what it is I am doing wrong.
Tonight was also a first for me in a long time.I stayed home tonight and watched Santa Claus Is Coming To Town on DVD.The special was on the ABC network tonight but I watched the DVD so I would get no commercial interruptions.It was wonderful to watch that with no commercials.
The strange thing about tonight is that I no longer have those meetings to go to.The support group meetings at the church were closed off due to the problem of not having any co-leaders to take over.Not only that,attendance had dropped because members were getting more involved in their personal lives and taking on new responsibilities.But I am hanging in there.I feel that another group will be started soon.I am going to be talking to that lady again before the week is out.She did tell me that the group might start in January but I still would like to talk with her again about it.
Before the night was through for me,I did manage to get to a local drug store to drop off a prescription and pick up some Rolaids.I also got some Christmas cards that I need to send out next week to some friends of mine out of town and across the globe.I am hoping that they get them in time for the holiday.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes by smoothly.I also have to mail out something tomorrow and I also have an appointment with my substitute sexual abuse support counselor.I am hoping that the session goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.I am feeling depressed,angry and lonely.Most of the depression has something to do with the weather we've been having.The weather has been COLD and snowy.Plus,today at work,I had to buy my own lunch as a result of there being no lunch to be served.We were supposed to have fried chicken but the coordinator is out sick and he did not fill the purchase order for the lunch ahead of time.I had to buy my own lunch today.I had a homemade burrito from a take out place.It was good and filling.No total loss but it was a pretty big shock.The rest of the day went by not too smoothly.I had to finish a job that was not finished by the previous day's person.That really made ne feel at edge,which is contributing to the anger that I am feeling at the moment.At least,I got my job done and that gave me a feeling of accomplishment.
Plus,I am feeling angry because these SSA feelings are not leaving me alone.Plus,an online forum that I am a part of is having divisions where one guy wants to throw in the towel and act out on his desires rather than resist and fight them.The men in the group are having mixed reactions,with a few of them being sympathetic to the case of Gay civil unions.I did e-mail the group moderator and I am going to be e-mailing the group owner after I am done here.I am hoping that this can be resolved soon without having to kick anyone out.Plus,I also had the intention of acting out with a Gay man that I knew but I did not let it happen.Or maybe,God did not let it happen.Instead,I gave him a ride to a local drug store so he could get his medication.Regarding my fight to resist these Gay desires,I did get rid of some Gay porn videos that I had in my closet to free up some room for the suits that I had in it.They were simply being bunched up together all at once and I needed to free up the space.At least,the Gay porn videos are no longer there for me to watch anymore.In fact,a TV that I used to watch them on with an accompanying VCR hooked up to it,broke down years ago and since it is an old tubed TV,I can never fix it since there are no tubes available anywhere anymore.No big loss there.I am glad to be rid of them.
My feelings of being lonely are there because tomorrow night,I will be staying home.As stated last week,there are no more support group meetings at the church that used to have them.Also as stated,the members are now busy with their own lives and the leaders could not find any co-leaders to take the helm when the leaders were doing other things with their lives.But I am hoping that there will be another group coming up soon that is supposed to help men and women with SSA.I am hoping that the group will start soon,which is supposed to be January.I will just have to hang in there until something happens.I will just have to pray hard until something happens.But I feel that something will happen soon for me before I know it,
Tomorrow is simply a pick up day.I am hoping that the pick up goes smoothly.I am also hoping to have lunch at work once that is done.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too exciting of a day today.I stayed home most of the day due to the COLD winter weather.We are still in Autumn at the moment but it is beginning to feel like Winter.I stayed home much of the day as a result of the weather.I tried to take it easy but couldn't.I guess that I was still feeling at edge over something.I did not know what it was.I really do not know what made me feel a little angry but whatever it was,it made me masturbate again.Plus,I was still getting images of naked men begging me for a blowjob and wanting me to relieve them.I don't know what triggered this.But I am hoping that I feel better tomorrow.I am hoping that a good night sleep will make me feel better.I did have a hard time getting to sleep last night as well.Again,I really don't know what triggered this round of negative emotions.My theory is that I am frustrated because I haven't had any sexual relations with another man in a long time.If that is the case why I am feeling this way,I am not going to let this frustrating rut that I am in make me decide what I am going to do.I will not weaken nor will I give into unnatural desires with another man.No way.I am going to try to remain strong.I will not let my desires control me.I am going to try to control them.Men craving other men is as unnatural as women craving women and humans craving animals for sex(please pardon that extreme example)and I am not going to let my desires dictate to me how I am going to be nor will I let them decide who I am going to be,I am a Straight(i.e.Heterosexual) man with a Homosexual problem.I am not Gay.Nor will I be Gay.I refuse to be Gay.Plus,since I don't have to be Gay,I am not going to be Gay.Plus,there is no such thing as a Gay man.Each and every man is a Straight(i.e.Heterosexual)man and is biologically hardwired for sexual compatibility with a woman.Plus,the way it is according to the laws of nature and Heaven is that it is man and woman.It is not man and man nor woman and woman.Nobody is born anything regarding sexual orientation.It is a learned and aquired through the environments that each and every one of us grew up around.As I have many times stated,I am not going to go back to the Gay lifestyle nor will I go back to being enslaved to the image of a naked man with an erect penis nor a man standing tall with his erect penis sticking out of his pants.Plus,I do not want to go back to all those one blow stands where I am always sucking another guy's penis(i.e.dick,cock,prick)and being used for their own pleasure and I am not getting any pleasure out of it in return.No way I'm going back to that.No way at all.
Tonight,my anger management/conflict resolution group went well.It was another wonderful meeting.We also discussed what we would be going to do for the month of December.We are planning some very special things for this month.I am looking forward to the next meeting next Monday night.
Tomorrow is simply a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too eventful day today.I went to run an errand for my mom today.While I was doing that,I also ran a couple for myself.I bought a new billfold at Big Lot's today and I also bought a jar of turkey gravy for dinner tonight at Rite-Aid.I also picked up a few slices of pizza that I will be eating for lunch tomorrow.The thing that I had to do for my mom was that I had to pick up a container of Frozen Orange Juice for her.All in all,not too eventful of a day but it was pretty good.
My night of entertaining the crowd went well.As I planned,I did my yearly tribute to George Harrison.There was not too many people due to the weather,which while just COLD initially,turned really snowy.The snow was really coming down last night as the night for me was winding down.When I drove home,I had to use extreme caution to avoid slipping and crashing into someone else because the roads were really covered with a blanket of snow.Plus,I had to be careful for hidden icy patches.But I did make it home safe and sound.The roads were rough and snowy but I did make it home.It was a chore but I made it and that made me feel better.
Right now,weatherwise,it is now raining.It is not freezing rain but it is still rain.Tomorrow,we are supposed to get high winds and there is a High Wind Warning in effect until 1:00p.m.tomorrow afternoon.
Regarding the rest of the night,I might go out for a bit and have a drink with the guys at the place where I entertain.If I do,I hope that it will be great.
Tomorrow is my day off.I am hoping that the day goes well.I do have my anger management/conflict resolution group tomorrow night.I am hoping that the meeting goes well for me,too.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I am also feeling hopeful and optimistic.I had a not too eventful of a day today.I only ran a few errands for myself and my mom today.I also had a talk with a friend of mine over the phone.I was glad that he finally got his phone reconnected.He told me that one of his brother's and his girlfriend were moving back into the city.He was overjoyed.He also said that he was going to help his brother move his stuff in the new place that he is hoping to move into.I wished them the best of success and I hope that everything worked out for the better.
The errands that I ran for my mom was that I went to the bank to withdraw some money for her.We needed to buy coffee and something to eat for tonight.After I bought the coffee at Dunkin Donuts,I went to Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things for myself.They were soap and a Christmas special DVD set.After that,I went to Quiznos to pick up a couple of 6 inch sandwiches for dinner.They were nice,toasty and delicious.After dinner,I finished my personal computer work and registered a few more bills at Where's George.Not too bad of a day if I say so myself.
I am now at home relaxing.I am anticipating the night ahead.I will be doing my yearly tribute to George Harrison tonight while I am singing.I am hoping that the night goes well.Though I rarely,if ever,have an off night,I still hope for things to go well.You never know what could happen.But I have a good feeling that everything is going to work out fine.Still,there's nothing wrong with a little bit of hope.
Tomorrow is Sunday.I have not made any plans but whatever I do,I hope that it will have a positive affect on me.
That was my day today and my hopes for tonight and tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better.I had a pretty good work day today.The shift went by smoothly and I also had a nice lunch.After my shift was done,I simply bagged the laundry and dropped it off at the drug/alcohol rehab center.I went home afterwards.
For most of the afternoon,I had a difficult time trying to get online.My computer was having issues and I had to keep restarting the machine in order to get it to work properly.I also had a tough time trying to get the firewall to open up so I could turn it on and feel more secure when I am online.After several tries,I managed to get the firwall on and I also got online.I registered several bills on Where's George and also managed to catch up on some much needed e-mail work.I also had a light supper tonight.
Right now,I am at home relaxing.The weather is COLD!!!The wind is blowing and for a while this afternoon,it was blowing snow all over.There was no acumulation of the snow.It was just flurries and that was all.The windstorm was so strong that it blew some tree branches off the trees at a nearby park.The road near the park was blocked while the city cleaned up the mess.They wanted to make the streets safer and make sure that no car accidents happened and to prevent people from getting hurt.Before the evening is through,I am going to do a virus scan on my computer.I am hoping that there are no viruses on my computer.
I can't believe that the weekend is finally here.I am hoping that the weekend goes well.I will be singing tomorrow night and I will be doing a tribute to George Harrison tomorrow night while I am singing tomorrow night.I am hoping that night goes well for me.Regarding Sunday,I have not made up my mind what I am going to do but whatever I do,I hope that it affects me in a positive way.
Tomorrow morning,I have to go to the bank to make a much needed and mandatory deposit to remove some overdrawn funds from my checking account.That way,it wil be in the black with only a few cents.
That was my day and my hopes for the upcoming weekend.FJ

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Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.I had a pretty good work day today.The laundry pick-up went well enough and I also had no problem dropping it off at the work site and sorting it out.I even had a pretty good lunch today as well.The day got off to a good start and I also had a very god afternoon.It was nothing special.I simply stayed home and took it easy.I did not watch much on TV because I really did not feel like it.I simply finished my personal PC work and took care of a personal money matter regarding business that I was doing with a person online.Before I did come home,I had to pick up a few things at a supermarket near me so my mom could have things to prepare dinner tonight.It was really neat.My mom made homemade turkey soup.
While that went well,I am also feeling sadness.Because tonight was my last support group meeting at the church.After tonight,they are no more.During our last meeting,we shared a lot of things and talked about how the meetings had helped them combat the issues that each and every one had that brought them there.I am going to miss going to those meetings.I am also going to miss all the guys that I met there and had fellowship with.It was awesome.But after tonight,the meetings are no more.Apparently,most of the members are now getting really busy with their lives and that is starting to take up a lot of their time.But again,it was wonderful while they lasted.It was also wonderful to have those guys to talk to each and every week whenever we would meet.
Regarding what I am going to do with this happening at the moment.I am going to hang in there and wait anxiously for another group to start.It will be a group helping people who struggle with SSA,including those who struggle with the sexual addictions that come with it.I will wait patiently and when they start,I'll start going to those.I will call up the leader to see if we could meet before that starts.I hope that we can.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my night tonight,including what I am hoping to strive for in the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty decent day today.Despite a minor mishap that happened when I arrived at the work site,which was the person from the previous day leaving loads of laundry in the washers,I had a pretty smooth work day today.I did report this to the supervisors and they said that they would look into this and hopefully come to a solution.I simply did my job and after it was finished,I dropped the clean laundry at the drug/alcohol rehab center and ran a couple of errands for myself before going home.
I finally received a DVD that I was waiting on for the past several days.It was another episode of the classic education show Big Blue Marble.It was wonderful to watch.It is awesome to be seeing this show again.I know that I have other episodes of the series but each and new episode that I purchase is always exciting and neat to watch.I am going to be ordering more again next month.I watched it this afternoon when I got home.Again,watching that was awesome.Since it was on DVD,it was more colorful and it was great.Again,I am going to be ordering more next month.
I only ran a small errand tonight.I had to get a gallon of milk,a recordable VHS video tape and get some gas in my gas tank.I ran this errand before 8:00 p.m. so I could watch A Charlie Brown Christmas.Even though it was on TV,I watched it on video without commercial interruptions.After that,I watched It's Christmas Time Again,Charlie Brown on video and that was great.
I am now relaxing.I am anticipating the new day.I don't have much to do tomorrow.I only have to do a simple laundry pick up and drop it off at the work site.After that,I can do whatever I like until the evening.Tomorrow night is my last meeting with the support group at the church.It is going to be strange not going to these meetings every Wednesday night.But I am looking into getting involved with another one.If not,I'll just have to hang in there until another one comes around.Again,it will be sad that this will be no more.I am going to be missing those guys.It was wonderful to go there and be heard and also to hear others.As stated,it is going to be sad to see that this will be no more.
As stated,tomorrow is simply a pick-up day.I hope that it goes well.After that,it will be the last support group at the church meeting.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had an okay day today.Nothing special really happened today.I simply went about my day and did what I had to get done.
Last night,after I got home from having a drink with the gang at the place where I entertain to go to bed,I couldn't get to sleep.For a while,I had to keep getting out of bed to go to the bathroom.It was not constant urination but defecation.I had to take a dump at least 6 times during the night.I wanted to get some sleep but couldn't for most of the night.Each and every time I got comfortable in my bed and almost asleep,I had to get up and use the bathroom.It was horrible.Not only that,my anal region was starting to hurt due to all this defecating.Each and every time my anal region hurts,it is a vivid reminder of the rape that I endured when I was 16,which was where a man who lived in my neighborhood tried to shove his genitals up my rectum without the use of a condom.I still remember it each time I get that pain.It can be anything from a simple itch to a stabbing pain.The pain was unbearable for the length of time that I had to keep taking a dump.Plus,it was causing me great emotional stress and strain that I wound up masturbating,which made feel even more lousy.But after asking the creator for forgiveness,I felt better but I did not get to sleep until 3:45 a.m. in the morning.As a result of that,I only got five hours of sleep,which was why I felt lousy and a little bit at edge when I got out of bed this morning.I had to drink 3-4 cups of coffee to stay awake.I had to be awake because I had an appointment today at the hospital with the medication manager over at the local hospital.I had to drive there and I did not want to fall asleep behind the wheel while driving there.
My session with the medication manager went great.We talked about a lot of things and how some of the people around the social club react to me when I share my knowledge and how my life has been going.I am the victim at times of some of the social club member's rants and taunts regarding my knowledge and how far I have come within the agency,especially working within the agency.Again,the session went great and I also had to renew an appointment that I accidentally forgot.It was an appointment with the hospital's in-house psychiatrist.I have a new appointment and I am going to mark it down on the calender so I don't forget it this time.
After the session,I went straight home and got back into bed to take a nap.It was a 2 hour one that I took to catch up on some lost sleep from last night.After the nap,I felt better and I also had a light dinner.
My anger management/conflict resolution group went great.I met a few new people and we shared a lot.I did share my experiences from the last few days and it was great to have them listen to me and to listen to what they had to say.I am looking forward to the next group meeting,which is next Monday night.
Overall,I had a wonderful holiday weekend.I feel refreshed and rejuvenated.Not only that,the Buffalo Sabres won again tonight.They defeated the Washington Capitols in Washington by a score of 3-1.The next game is a home game Wednesday night when the St.Louis Blues come to town.I hope that the Sabres can win another one.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my night last night,including my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a not too exciting of a day today.I simply ran and did something personal for myself.First,I had a couple slices of pizza for lunch and I also went to Wal-Mart to get me a new nose and ear hair trimmer.The other ones that I had were not up to par anymore so I bought this one.I even tried it out when I got home.I used it get rid of some nose hair that was noticeably sticking out.It was a bit unsavory and unattractive but I managed to get rid of it.I now feel a bit better about myself.I also got rid of a little bit of ear hair.Afterwards,I cleaned off the blade and let it dry.I also put the saftey applicator on it when it was fully dry.
When I got home,I finished off my personal computer work and had a nice dinner.My mom and I had our own Thanksgiving dinner without the hassle and hussle of being over at my sister's house.Don't get me wrong,we had a nice time at my sister's but I did like having a little quite time here at home.It was very good.I was pretty filled up after eating.But again,it was great.
My night of entertaining the crowds went over great.The crowd really appreciated the songs that I did.Each and everybody complimented me on the songs that I chose and again,it was wonderful.I am looking forward to next Saturday night for sure.Next week,it will be my yearly tribute to George Harrison because this week will be the anniversary of his death of cancer in 2001.I am looking forward to that.
Tonight,I even talked with a couple of friends.One from my city and another from out of town.They were varied in how they were.The one from my city was doing good and the one from out of town was fight cold symptoms.But it was great to hear from them.I enjoyed the tiem spent talking with them.
The Thanksgiving holiday weekend will be over soon.For me,it was a wonderful weekend and I had some fun.I did some shopping for myself and I also had a nice holiday overall.It was great.But for me,the weekend isn't over yet.I still have my day off tomorrow.I have a couple of appointments tomorrow.The first at the local hospital and the next with my anger management/conflict resolution support group.I am hoping that both go well.
Regarding the rest of the night,I might go out and have a nice drink at the place where I entertain and have some great talks with the guys.
The best thing about the weekend is that the Buffalo Sabres won last night.They shutout the Montreal Canadians in Montreal by a score of 3-0.
As stated,tomorrow is my day off.I am hoping that my appointments work out well enough.I also hope that the day goes by smoothly.
That was ny day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ