Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had some stuff that I needed to do.I first had to meet with my sister's lawyer to discuss some legal issues regarding the house we live in and other things.The meeting with the lawyer lasted a little over 20 minutes and after the meeting was done,I headed out to run some errands that needed to be run.
I first went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few more things that were needed and after I paid for those,I also had to pick up a couple of things for myself.After paying for those,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to check on a friend that I hadn't spoken to in quite a while to see how they were doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and I relaxed while making some time to do some recommended Holy Bible reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.It is always a struggle and it's never and easy one.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Whenever it seems to be getting too unbearable,I turn to both God and his son Jesus Christ and they help sustain me.It is never an easy struggle,but I do feel a tad better whenever it is God's hands.It is simply a matter of taking it both God and Christ and talking about it and feeling better once I do that.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.Again,I had to really use all of my strength to resist this temptation.I really wanted to grab my genitals and simply make myself ejaculate.But instead,I simply chose to sit up and sat up for a while until the erection died down and after it did die down,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that these temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,which can take any type of form,can rear their ugly heads when least expected.I am always in a fight against these unnatural desires.It seems that these desires won't let up until I decide to surrender to them and give up the fight and simply live my life in sin rather than do what I know is the right thing to do.But I can't let that happen.I have to make it so that I own the unnatural desires and not them owning me.I will not give Satan what he wants.He wants me to indulge in all the sinful sexual activity that the so called "Homosexual/Gay" lifestyle offers and that is not what I want to do,but these unnatural desires that I have,which are connected to and borne out of Satan,want me to do so.I am still getting tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near erect for the purpose of masturbation or to simply bring myself to orgasm and stop.I am still turning to God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable to handle or when it is border-lining on seemingly impossible.I simply throw the temptation on God and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to strengthen me and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I do give into any temptation,I simply ask God to forgive me in his son Jesus Christ's name to forgive and after that,my sin is forgotten by God.I am also still asking for prayers by everyone who visits this blog of mine.I see that people visit my blog and read,but they don't leave anything.I am always asking for some encouraging and/or supporting words to help keep me going.Please share a word or two and also,keep me in your prayers.Thanks.Thanks also to both both God and his son Jesus Christ for all their help and strength.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual and the Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a few things planned.
I really didn't have too much to do today.I simply went out to run a few errands that needed to be run.I was out for only a few hours today.I went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few more things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.It is a never ending unpredictable cycle.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable.I simply take it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I feel a little bit better.It is simply a matter of talking about the struggle with God and asking him in the name of his son Christ Jesus to aid and abet in the recovery.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.It was a really overwhelming urge that I had to give into this temptation.I had to really use all the strength that I had to resist this temptation.I had to get up and sit up for a while and I did that,the erection softened and I used the bathroom,which I had to do,before going back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,which can take any form,can rear their ugly heads when least expected.I never know when they are about to strike.I am always in a fight to resist the temptations to act out on these desires that I have.I am also still in the fight to resist the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near erect for the purpose of masturbating or to make myself have an orgasm and yes,there is usually some lusting after other men involved with this,though other times,it can be an emotional thing.Whenever I give into that particular temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me.I am still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable to handle or endure and I ask them for help in giving me strength to resist.After that,the temptation is reduced to nil.But I'm also in need of prayers by others to help me in my resistance regarding the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect for masturbation or to bring myself to orgasm and stop.This temptation has been a real drag for me as I don't want to do that unclean thing anymore.If anyone can offer some helpful as well as spiritual advice in how I can resist the temptation to "play with myself", please share as I am open to anything to help me stop this unclean activity.I will keep praying to both God and his son Christ Jesus in the long run and again,prayers and advice are always appreciated.Thanks in advance for anything offered and also,Thanks again to both God and his Jesus Christ for being there to show that I am not alone in my struggle.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work,including registering a whole bunch of bills at the Where's George website,and after that was done,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
My niece was over for much of the day and when she went out for an hour to go to a local supermarket,I watched over my mom while she wasn't there and when my niece returned,I headed out to do what I had planned for the day.
I first went to city hall to pay on the water bill and after that was done,I headed over to the post office to mail out a couple more of important bills.After that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local store to pick up some stuff that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did some more personal PC work while watching my mom.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.It is a never ending ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more than anything.I simply take it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help sustain me.It is simply a matter of bringing the struggle to God and him and his son help keep me calm,cool and help with getting it together.It is still difficult,but God and Christ both help to make it only a tad easier.Thanks to both God and Christ for all of their help.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge.It was also a very overwhelming urge at that.I simply sat up and while doing so,the erection softened and since I had to use the bathroom,I walked there and the erection fully softened as I was heading for there and after using the bathroom,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I am still in a constant fight to resist the urge to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and the fight is always a very difficult one at that.I am always at war and it does seem that at times,the unnatural desires that I have refuse to surrender.But I am not going to give Satan nor his minions anything that they want because they want me to weaken and surrender to Homosexuality,but I refuse to do so.When that happens,I simply take it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help get me through any temptation.I simply throw the temptation on God and ask him in his son Christ's name to help me and the temptation is reduced to nil.If I do give into any form of temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and after that,the slate is wiped clean and it is forever forgotten by God.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that makes me feel better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all of their help and getting me through every sort of temptation under the sun.
Tomorrow,I have a Spirituality group that I must attend and after that,lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing else planned.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things planned for today.I first did a little bit more cleaning up around the house and after that was done,I had my mom prepare the bills to be mailed out today and also,to withdraw some money from the bank.After that was all done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something that was needed for the house.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while and also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know,from day to day,or,from one minute to the next,how my mood will be.It is a very difficult thing to deal and/or endure with.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle with BPD even more difficult.Aside from that emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with hearing things that others can't hear,such as footsteps or the calling of my name.When it becomes seemingly too difficult,I simply take it to both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever that happens.I simply talk about it with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.It is simply a way of taking it to them and asking them for help.It is great that I am not alone in my struggle.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.It was a really overwhelming urge.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming temptation.I simply sat up and as I did,the erection died down and when my genitals were softened,I simply laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I am still keeping in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might take,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I never know when those temptation will come.They simply strike when least expected.I am always at war with these unnatural desires that I have as I refuse to let them define who I am as a human being.I have only accepted my identity as male and I accept nothing else.The temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can be a very overwhelming one at that.While that can be,I am still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ when that happens.Whenever the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have come around,as it does come when I least it to come,I simply throw it on God and talk about the temptation in the name of his son Jesus Christ and the temptation is reduced to nil.I am trying to tell the desires that I have that I own them and they don't own me.If I ever do give into any temptation to act out,I simply ask God to forgive in the name of his son Christ Jesus and after that,the slate is wiped clean and God forgets it.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all of their help and for showing me that I am not alone in my struggles.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of my day.
I first went to my building and improving self esteem group.I was looking forward to this group with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.I headed over there.
The meeting was wonderful.After meeting with someone privately at the group's offices,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local 7-Eleven to buy a hot dog for lunch and after I ate it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having this.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more than on human therapy.They have powers that exceed anything by humans.Whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable or seemingly too impossible to endure,I simply take it to both God and Christ and they help sustain me.It is just a matter of throwing it on God and have his son Jesus Christ work alongside him to help in the sustaining.Admittedly,battling BPD,alongside the schizophrenic tendencies that I have,is not easy,but with God and Christ,it does make it a tad easier.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This really was an overwhelming temptation and the erection was really a throbbing one at that.This was a very difficult temptation to resist and this time,I had to take it to God in prayer to help give me the strength to resist this overwhelming urge.I also had to get up and use the bathroom and after I was finished,the erection died down and I simply went back to sleep after I was finished.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might take,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always at war with the unnatural desires that I have and the war is usually a seemingly and very unbearable one at that.It seems to get tougher no matter how much I resist any temptation that tries to envelope me.I also,at times,get tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near erect for the purpose of masturbation and most of the time,lusting does play a role in that.When this happens,I simply turn to both God and his son Jesus Christ.I simply throw the temptation on God and ask in his son Christ Jesus' name to help me in my resistance and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.It is simply a matter of throwing it on God and ask him to help me to gain victory over my inherent weaknesses due to the fall from perfection and again,the temptation is reduced to nil.If it ever happens that I do give into the temptation,I simply ask God to forgive in the name of his son Jesus Christ's names and after that,the slate is wiped clean and is forgotten by God as God does forgive whenever anyone,like myself,gives into any temptations.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and for being there whenever the SSA struggles seems to be getting too unbearable or impossible.Thanks again to them both.
Tomorrow,I have plans to go to the post office to mail out some bills and also,to withdraw some much needed money for the bank.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go onward.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and headed for the church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some fellowship with everyone,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes.I had a light lunch and after that,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I did a little bit more cleaning up around the house.I even managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.For me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.
While my recovery continues to go onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I still attend my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about it with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help sustain me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and Christ for all of their help.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.It was another overwhelming temptation at that.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I sat up and chose to do so for a while and when the erection died down,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it takes,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I never know when the temptation will hit or what form it will take.I am always at war with these unnatural sexual desires and at times,the battle seems to be a very impossible one to fight.When that happens,I simply turn to God and his son Jesus Christ and they help in getting me through it all.I simply talk about the temptation with God and his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.It shows that I don't have to go it alone and that I can turn to them whenever I need to do so to reduce any type of temptation.If I do ever give into temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and after that,the slate is wiped clean and is forgotten by God.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all of their help and everything else that they provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual building and improving self esteem group.As for the rest of the day,I have made no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I headed over to a Men's Network meeting,which I was looking forward to with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The meeting was wonderful.After the meeting was over,I headed over to a nearby Salvation Army thrift store to look around and bought a few things.After that,I headed over to the public library to do my personal PC work and also,to print something from my e-mail.After that was all done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more diffcult in regards to hearing sounds that nobody else hears.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming and/or way too unbearable to handle.I simply take it to both God and his son Jesus Christ in prayer and they help sustain me.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for all that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.It was a really overwhelming temptation at that.I had to really use all of my own strength to fight and resist this temptation.I simply sat up and waited for the erection to die down and when it did,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I am still keeping in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it takes,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in a fight to resist all sorts of temptations to act out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have,which I have been battling for years and the battle gets even more difficult day after day,week after week,month after month and year after year.I am always at war with them and the war can get way too difficult to handle.When that happens,I simply continue to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the temptations seems to be getting way too overwhelming and/or way too unbearable to handle.I simply take the temptation to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after talking about it to them,the temptation is reduced to nil.If ever I do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for that and after that,the slate is wiped clean and is forgotten by God as he forgives the sin of giving into temptation.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual,including the Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the service.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning,despite some complications,and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed to do some important things that needed to be done because I had to keep an eye on my mom for the rest of the day as my sister and niece had some stuff to do.
For most of the afternoon,I did my personal PC work and I also had myself a light lunch of a bowl of soup.After lunch,I decided to simply take it easy while watching my mom and helping her when she needed it.
My mom really needed all the help that she could get from me for much of the day and I was glad to oblige.I did manage to get some recommended Holy Bible reading is as well, while doing what I could for my mom.It is requiring an awful lot and believe me,it is a wonder that I haven't cracked under the pressure.
After eating a light dinner,I watched the evening news for a while and I also managed to get some more personal PC work in.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood will be from day to day,or,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult as I have to put up with hearing sounds and noises that nobody else hears,except me.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more than on any human devices,such as medication or therapy.God and his son Jesus Christ collectively have power greater than any human power.I simply take it to them and they help in sustaining me.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle with BPD and the schizophrenic tendencies and that it great.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This temptation was a really overwhelming one.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I simply sat up and I stayed sitting up until the erection had died down.I simply went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might take,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always at war with these unnatural sexual desires and at times,the war can seem unbearable.There are times that I do feel like giving up,but that is what Satan,the Devil wants me to do,and I am not going to let him have his way with me.I am going to continue fighting these unnatural desires that I have and show the devil that he can't win with me.I am also still calling out to God whenever the struggle seems to be getting too overwhelming or seemingly too unbearable to handle.If and/or when a temptation seems to be getting to strong,overwhelming or seemingly unbearable,I throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I ever do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and after that,the slate is wiped clean and is forgotten by God once he forgives.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that makes me feel pretty good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they offer and for getting me through the temptations that go with the territory of the struggles with SSA.
Tomorrow,I have a Men's Network meeting that I must attend.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,despite some interruptions,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of my day.
I first went to my spirituality group,which I was looking forward to with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby post office to drop off a package that I had to return.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed over to the drug store to pick up my mom's prescriptions.After paying the co-pay for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I helped out my mom a little more and in between,managed to get in some recommended Holy Bible readings in.My mom came home late yesterday and she has been resting comfortably since then.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.It is never an easy thing to cope with.I never know ho wmy mood will be from one day to the next or from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggles seems to be getting too unbearable to handle or endure.I simply take it both God and Christ and they help sustain me.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming temptation.I simply sat up for a while and after the erection died down,I laid down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might take,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always at war with the sinful sexual desires that I wish that I didn't have to fight,but each and every day,I am always in the fight for my life against these unnatural sexual desires.The fight,at times,seems to get way too unbearable for me to handle.Still,I am always re;ying on both God and his son Jesus Christ to help me in those times.Whenever the temptation seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle,I simply throw the temptation on both God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.After that,I move on.If I ever do give into the temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and after that,the slate is wiped clean and is forgotten by God.Again,it shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that I don't have to go it alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all of their help.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as i had a few things planned.
I first went to get my hair cut.After that,I headed over to the garage to get my alignment done on my car,which really needed to get done.After that was done,I headed over to the hospital to spend some time with my mother.After doing so,I headed over to a friend's house to see how he was doing.After spending some time with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my road to recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next or from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable.I simply talk about it to them and after that,I feel a tad better.It also shows that I am not alone in my BPD struggles.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This was yet another overwhelming temptation and I really had to use all my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I simply sat up and while sitting up,the erection died down and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in the fight to resist any form of temptation.At times,it feels to unbearable to continue in the fight to do what is right.When that happens,I simply turn to both God and his son Jesus Christ for help whenever that happens.I simply throw the temptation on them and they help sustain me.I also feel much better after doing that.It again shows that I am not alone in my fight and that makes me feel pretty good.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards.I am also planning to pay my mom a visit at the hospital as well.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for teh day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda.I first went to the post office to mail out a couple of important bills and after that was done,I headed over to the bank to withdraw some money for my alignment tomorrow.After that,I headed over to the hospital to see how my mom was doing and spent some time with her.My mom was hoping to be out by today,but the hospital is keeping her there for a couple more days.After that,I headed over to a friend's house to see how they were doing and I also spent some time with them.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the BPD struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable.I simply take it to both God and Christ in prayer and they help sustain me.It is great that I am not alone in my struggle.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I simply sat up for a while and the erection softened.I went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I get tempted almost every day to act out on them.Though I have been ignoring them,they do keep coming back.Still,I am relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the SSA struggle seems to be getting too unbearable to handle.I simply throw the temptation on both God and Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.It is great to rely on God and have him help me in doing the right thing.Thanks again to both God and Christ for everything.
Tomorrow,I have to get my wheels aligned.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing else planned.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Happy Labor Day to all of you out there.
Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went over to my sister's house to do my laundry.I had quite a bit that I needed to do and my sister said that it was okay for me to use her washing machine and dryer to do my dirty clothes.I got all of my dirty clothes together and headed over to my sister's house.
When I got there,I started to do my laundry.I had to do it in two separate loads as I had a lot to do.It took a little over two hours,but I managed to get it done.After folding everything,I dropped my laundry off at home and I headed for the hospital to pay my mom a visit.
After spending some time with my mom,I headed over to a friend's house to see how he was doing and to keep him up to date on my mom's status.After spending some time with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I helped out with some more cleaning up around the house and after it was finished,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.It is never easy dealing and struggling with a disorder like mine.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too overwhelming or too unbearable to handle.When this happens,I simply take it to both God and Christ and they help sustain me.After that,I feel a little bit better.Thanks to both God and Christ for being there.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation earlier this morning when I masturbated.After it was all over,I felt really terrible about the fall and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling.I gave into temptation,but I felt better after asking God in the name of Jesus Christ to forgive me.I am now forgiven and the slate is wiped clean.This shows me that the temptation to act out on the unnatural desires that I have can come like a thief in the night.I have to stay on guard and be watchful as they can come when least expected.I am always in a fight with these unnatural desires and I hate it when I fall.The fall only shows me that I have to keep relying on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever these temptations come.I have to accept the fact that I can never go it alone.God and Christ have to be involved in this all the way.I have to keep letting them in whenever temptation rears it's ugly head.I also have to work on going to them constantly whenever the urge does come.I am also asking that those who follow my blog regularly pray for me constantly as well.Please pray for me as I am going through this difficult time.I would really appreciate that.Thanks in advance to everyone for all their prayers and support.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I got dressed up in a suit to go to church and I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm to both the worship service and the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the service.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with the members,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up some things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I was surprised to see that my locally living sister was already at the house doing some cleaning up.When I got out of my suit and into a pair of sweatpants,I started to help out a little by bring some more stuff to the cellar and also,doing some much needed vacuuming in the living room before putting some stuff back in it's place.I also managed to get a few more things done.After doing those things,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed and I headed out to go visit my mom at the hospital.
On the way there,I stopped at the local Target to pick up a few important personal things.After paying for them,I headed for a local restaurant to pick up a sandwich for a quick lunch.After eating that,I headed over to the hospital.
When I got to the hospital,I spent some time with my mom keeping her company for a while and after I did,I headed over to a friend's house who lived within the same area of the hospital and spent some time with him.
After spending some time with my friend,I headed over to my sister's boyfriend's house to have a little bit of eating with them.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in at the same time.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.For me,going to church on Sunday morning makes the day eventful.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next or from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too overwhelming or unbearable to handle.I simply take it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and talk about it and after that,I feel a tad better.I continue to seek God and ask him to help sustain me.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my own strength to fight and resist this temptation.I simply turned to the opposite side and the erection simply died down and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I am still in the fight for my life when it comes to SSA and how to fight it.It is a very difficult fight where I am at war with the unnatural desires that I have and the fight is always a difficult one.It is simply a battle to do the right thing in God's eyes and to continue that fight.I am still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting too overwhelming and seemingly unbearable to handle.Whenever tempted to act out,I simply take it to God in prayer and I throw everything on him in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I feel better and the temptation is reduced to nil.If I ever were to give into any temptation,I simply ask God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,which is the Labor Day holiday,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a few things planned.
It was a rocky day for me yesterday.In the early afternoon,I was getting up off of a chair to help my mom to the bathroom,when she started to suddenly have pain in her back.She also couldn't breathe without feeling pain.I immediately called my niece who when she arrived,called her mom and her mom advised her to call an ambulance,which she did.The ambulance arrived quickly and took her to the local hospital.I continued on with my day while still awaiting from my niece or my sister about my mom's status.I spent the rest of the evening in the house alone,but tried to pass the time watching TV,but when I tried to sleep last night,I had a difficult time trying too get to sleep as a result of the stress of the day and everything connected with it.
Today,I simply did a few important things,like pay a bill at the local Sears store and also,checking out the local thrift stores for anything.After that,I headed over to the local hospital to pay my mom a visit after hearing what her room number is.
After spending some time with my mom,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple boxes of trash bags.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched some TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this to God in the name of son Jesus Christ's name and I do feel a tad better.Therapy does help and medication also does help,but God and Christ do things beyond human therapy and man made medication can do.It is simply a matter of talking to God and helping me to endure through the most difficult days and make them a little bearable.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all my strength to fight and resist this temptation as it was a very overwhelming one.I simply sat up for a while and when I did,the erection died down and I simply went back to sleep.There was also an episode where I grabbed my genitals and started to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of erecting or near erecting them so I could masturbate,but stopped myself and asked God for forgiveness for doing that.Though I did escape these two particular episodes,I still have to keep in mind the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in a constant battle with these unnatural desires that I have and the battle can be a very difficult fight and struggle.There are times that I have to simply tough it out and just fight these temptations as giving into them are sinful.Though the struggle seems overwhelming,I still continue to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems way too unbearable to handle.I simply throw the temptation on them and after talking about it with them,I feel better as the temptation is reduced to nil.It is never easy wanting to do the right thing,but to gain and get God's approval for trying to do the right thing,though I do fall short at times,is always worth it.If I do indeed fall,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive and after that,the slate is wiped clean and it is forgotten by God.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything.
Tomorrow,it is simply church as usual,including the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.I am also planning to visit my mom in the hospital for a few minutes as well.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing else planned,but I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,in between helping my mom to and from the bathroom,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had some stuff planned.
I stayed at home for much of the afternoon as my niece,who only spent a few minutes here at home with my mom and I,went to do some stuff for us.I stayed home and hung out and continued helping my mom out with various things around the house until my niece came back later on in the day.
When she did,I headed over to my appointment with the pastor to have our last one on one study session to reinstate me as a member of the church.I went over there with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The session went great.After some small talk,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed over to the bank to withdraw some money.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a short spell.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or from one minute to the next.It is a very difficult thing to deal with.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggle with BPD even more difficult.I will still continue with my therapy sessions and I will continue to take my medication as directed.I am still going to continue to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to get too difficult or seemingly too impossible to handle.I simply take it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help sustain me.This shows that I am not alone in my recovery and that is wonderful.It also makes the struggle a tad easier when I rely on God and Christ more.Thanks to both of them for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my own strength to fight and resist this current temptation.I simply sat up for a while and as I was sitting up,the erection died down and I simply went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might be,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in a constant fight with these unnatural desires that I have to resist the temptation to act out on them.I am also still having a problem with manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near erect for masturbatory purposes and I still would love to stop doing that.I am so used to doing that since I was younger and now,it has become an unclean,stubborn and disgusting habit that I can't seem to stop.I am always yearning for people to help me with this.I want to know what has worked for you whenever this craving comes around.Please share and I will try to use it to the best of my abilities.I will also continue to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever these temptations come around.I will simply throw the temptation on God in the name of son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for doing so and after that,the slate is wiped clean and it is forgotten by God.While doing that,I also yearn for prayers by those who follow this blog and for any helpful advice given.Thanks in advance for any prayers and advice offered and also,Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning to help my mom to get to and from the bathroom.After that was done,I went back to sleep.Later on,my niece came over to take my mom to see a doctor about radiation therapy.I woke up some time later on and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to my usual Spirituality group today and I was looking forward to that with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after I was done eating,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I still attend my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to get too overwhelming or seemingly too unbearable to deal and endure with.I simply talk about it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I feel a little bit better.It shows that I am not alone in my struggles and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate twice in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by throbbing erections at two separate intervals at the time.These temptations to masturbate were really overwhelming.On both of these occasions,I sat up and as I did,the erection softened and I didn't lay back down until the erections were both dead.I went back to sleep after both of these occurrences.Though I escaped these two episodes,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,mo matter what form it might be,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in a constant fight to resist the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.If it isn't with morning erections,it is lusting after men,which tempts me to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near erect for masturbatory purposes,which is one temptation that I am having a difficult time with as this is one that I am usually giving in to.I need help in resisting that sort of temptation as well.I am seeking advice and also,requesting that prayers be made so I can beat this particular temptation.I have asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that particular temptation,but I keep doing it constantly.I want to stop doing that.I will keep praying to God for help,but I also need prayers by others as well,especially by those who keep track of my blog here or from somebody who just happens to run across this blog while surfing the net.Again,I will keep praying to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to resist these temptations,but I also ask for prayers by others as well.Thanks in advance for anything offered.
Tomorrow,I have my meeting with the pastor of the church as our personal studies are now winding down.As for much and the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning,because I was awakened by mom out of a deep sleep,and I had to help her to the bathroom.After she was done,I led her back to her room and I went back to sleep.I woke back up in the mid morning and after doing a few things for my mom,I bathed,After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed because I had a few errands to run and while my niece stayed to watch mom,I went out to do them.
I first went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed and after paying for those,I headed over to a local McDonalds to have a McDouble sandwich.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I heated up a can of soup as I was still hungry and after eating that,I did my personal PC work.When I was finished with that,I relaxed and I took it easy.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with having BPD.I never how my mood will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I simply can't predict how my mood will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.Even when it does seem to be getting too overwhelming for me to deal with,that is when I take it to both God and his son Jesus Christ.I simply talk about this with both God and Christ and after that,I feel a little bit better as it is in their hands.The struggle with any kind of mental illness is never an easy one,but with the help of both God and Christ,I am never alone in this.Thanks to both of them for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I simply started to get up and when I did,the erection started to soften and after sitting up for a few minutes,the erection was now gone and I laid back down to go back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind the the temptation to act out on thee unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might take,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in the fight to resist any type of temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.When it does seem to be getting too overwhelming and/or seemingly impossible,I simply throw the temptation on both God and his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me and getting me through any temptations.It is great that I can rely on them for help and that I am not in this struggle alone.I simply throw the temptation on God in the name of his Jesus Christ and I feel better as the temptation is nil.If in the event that I do give into the temptation,I simply ask God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I feel better as the slate is wiped clean and the sin is forgiven and forgotten by God.Thanks to both God and Christ for being there and for helping is sustaining me whenever any temptations seems to get way too overwhelming or unbearable to handle.Thanks again to both God and Christ for everything.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group and my usual lunch at the local kitchen.I have no other things,But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning to help my mom get to the bathroom and back to bed and I went back to sleep.I woke up later on in the morning and after helping my mom again,I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a few things planned.Before I did everything that I had to do,I waited until my niece got home with my mom.That way,if they needed any help from me,I was there.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money.After that,I went to a local supermarket to turn in some pennies that I had for much needed cash.After that was done,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up some much needed sleep aid.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a few minutes and I helped out with some more cleaning up around the house.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my road to recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next or from one minute to the next.I don't know if I will be up and feeling good or down and not so good.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.I will still continue my therapy sessions.I will also continue to take my medication as directed.I am still going to continue to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this struggle seems to get way too difficult or seemingly too impossible to handle.I simply talk about this to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever I can't seem to get through and after that,I feel a little bit better.It shows that I am never alone.Thanks to both God and Christ for all of their help.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.Fortunately,my mom needed help to get to the bathroom when that happened,so the erection died while I was getting her to the bathroom and after I got her back to the room so she could go back to sleep,I also went back to sleep.But later on,I started to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near erect for the purpose of masturbation.I stopped and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sin.Though I escaped these episodes,I still have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might take,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in a fight to resist any temptation that comes to me.I always have to keep in mind that acting out on these unnatural desires that I have will only please Satan and not please God.I also have to keep in mind that acting out on these unnatural desires that I have will never give me what I want,which is affirmation of my gender identity,which is male,and the feelings of authenticity that come with that affirmation.Acting out on these unnatural desires that I have will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is the identity that I am working to disown and distance myself from.I only accept my true identity,which is male and I refuse to accept anything else other than that.I am also continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more than anyone else.Whenever the temptations seem to get too overwhelming or seemingly too impossible to resist,I simply throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I ever do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling and after that,I can move on with the rest of the day as the slate is wiped clean and the sin is forgiven and forgotten by both God and Christ.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for being here and showing that I never have to struggle alone.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning,but had to help my mom to the bathroom and back to her room.After that,I went back to sleep and didn't get back up until later on.When I did get up again,I bathed,had my breakfast and did at least some or my personal PC work.After that,when my niece came over,I headed over to my Monday afternoon group and was looking forward to that.
The group went great.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up quite a few more things.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished my personal PC work.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.I also helped out around the house with more cleaning up.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood will be day after day or minute after minute.I never know if I will be up and feeling good or down and not so good.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.It also makes my struggles even tougher.I still attend my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ a lot more than anything else.Whenever the struggle seems to be getting too overwhelming,I simply turn to both of them and they help sustain me.I never have nothing to fear once they are in control.It is still difficult,but I know that I am not enduring alone.Thanks to both of them for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another throbbing erection.I had to get up when my mom called me to help her to the bathroom.After I got her back in bed,I laid back down and went to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,which can take any form,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to always stay on guard and be watchful as it can come when I don't suspect anything.It is always a difficult thing to endure and I really hate to endure this sort of temptation as the sexual activity connected with SSA is sinful and unacceptable to God.I am still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever these temptations seem to be way too powerful for me to handle.I simply take it to both God and Christ and after that,I feel better as the temptation is reduced to nil after that.I also have to remember to go to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever I am tempted to look at porn in any way,shape or form or to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them.I will have to keep on praying and throwing every temptation on both God and Christ whenever the struggle seems to get way too overwhelming for me to handle.If I do ever give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into temptation and after that,the slate is wiped clean and forgotten by both God and Christ.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up and when my sister,who lives locally,stopped in,I headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and worship service were wonderful.I had some wonderful fellowship before and after the service.After it was all over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and while a friend of the family worked on cleaning the living room and I put my mom back to bed after she took her afternoon medication,I did my personal PC work and after the living room was cleaned,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.I also managed to get in some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.For me,going to church every Sunday always makes the day eventful.
While my road to recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from day to day,or from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also makes my SSA struggles even tougher.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more than anything.Whenever the struggle seems way too overwhelming,I simply take it to God and Christ and I feel a tad better.It is simply a matter of letting both God and Christ take the wheel and lead the way.After talking to them and letting take the lead,I do feel a tad better.Thanks to both of them for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the early afternoon when I masturbated.Yes,I did.I really felt miserable and I did ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling.I did feel better,but I still have to continually work on fighting and resiting any temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.I know the origin and motivation for the falling.I have been under a lot of stress as of late.My mom getting hurt and being diagnosed with cancer,though fortunately it was caught early and my mom has a 99% chance of recovery,all the negative baloney that I have been getting from my sister's while cleaning the house and also,the forceful and aggressive way that my locally living sister has been with me throughout this whole thing,including shooting me down(so to speak)whenever I try to take the lead in something and also all other things that have been really driving me up the wall and driving me crazy.This is why that my recovery has been rocky and rough as of late as I have a lot on my plate and all the stress and strain of what they family,though meaning well,has been lately.I have to learn to stay strong and cool during all of this as it has also been arousing my anger as of late as well and that also plays a factor in my recovery from SSA.I will really have to continue to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever these situations go awry and seem to be getting out of control.I really have to continue relying on them to help me stay cool,calm and slow to anger as God is slow to anger(psalm 103:8)and also,to stay focused on my goals to heal and resist any temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.I will have to really start praying hard and really ask them for help in my fights to resist any form of temptation.I am also asking for prayers by those who have been reading and following my blog regularly as they are appreciated.Thanks in advance for them.I really need prayers right now.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Monday afternoon building and improving self esteem group.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ