Tonight,my road to recovery,though it will be rocky for a while,is still ongoing.I had a pretty good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for the church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.I had some wonderful fellowship and support from everyone in regards to my mom's passing.They all wished me well and the best of success as I now try to learn how to live on my own and handle things the same way.After all of it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes and I headed out to the local bargain movie theater to see The Dark Knight Rises.I have been waiting for this movie to come to the local bargain movie theater and I went to see it.
I enjoyed the film as much as I did the other Dark Knight films.I have been a fan of Batman all of my life and I really liked this film.After it was all over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and had some more socializing with my family.The outpouring of support from them and my friends,both online and church,has been very overwhelming.I also managed to get some personal PC work at the same time.
After eating,I watched the evening news and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good and eventful day.I also managed to get some Holy Bible reading in as well.For me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.
While my recovery is still ongoing,I still have to deal with the symptoms of BPD and the struggles that go with the territory of having it,including the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.I am also dealing with schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.I still attend my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still in the grieving process of losing my mom on Friday and that is also making it more difficult.Then again,I still rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply take it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.The recovery is still difficult,but relying on them to sustain me makes it a tad easier.I have nothing to fear and I am not in this alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.It was a very overwhelming urge as well.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I simply sat up for a few minutes and as I was sitting up,the erection started to soften and after a few minutes,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might make itself,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always staying on guard and being watchful as they can take any form.I am always in a fight against these unnatural desires and it is a very difficult fight in itself.Still,whenever it gets too difficult,I am still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the temptation seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and the temptation is reduced to nil.If I ever do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive and after that,God forgives and forgets the sin.I am not alone in this fight and that makes me feel good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything.
Tomorrow,I have my building and improving self esteem group and later on,the memorial service for my mom.That is all that I have planned.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to move forward and as a result of all the stuff that has happened,the road is becoming rocky.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and waited for some people to come before I showered.My sister,who has moved in with me,went out to pick our father up at the airport and I waited for the some medical people to come to pick up the things that we had gotten for mom when she became ill.I waited for them,but before they came,my sister brought our father in and we talked for a few minutes before I jumped into the shower to clean up.After the shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and I have been drinking more than coffee than usual.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I spent most of the day in the house with my father as my sister went to her old house to be alone.Off and on,I talked with him and the conversations were going well enough.I kept the television off for much of that time as we talked.
During this time,I had to go out and get some much needed stuff.I went to the local K-Mart to pick up those things and after paying for them,I headed straight home to spend more time with my dad.
When I got home,I again sent some more time with my dad and it was wonderful.
After eating,my father and I spent some more time together and it was wonderful.Though the day with my father was good,I still considered the day fair as it was the day after my mom passed away and I am still feeling her absence.
Right now,my struggles with BPD are getting pretty rough right now as I am trying to comprehend the loss and just trying to carry on without her.I lived with my mother almost all of my life and we had gotten close,even though there were some times where we didn't agree with some things,but we still remained close.Now,with her gone,I am now trying and learning how to live without her being here.I do have my family,such as my sisters,my niece and now,with my father in town for several days,I can rest a little easier,but it will still be a rough road ahead.The schizophrenic tendencies that I have will also start to get worse,but I still have to hang in there and stay sane enough to live.I will still continue to take my medication and continue with my therapy.I will also still continue to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle and also,seemingly too impossible to endure.I will simply continue to talk the matter over with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ repeatedly and I will simply hope to feel better after that.It will be rough,but with God and his son Jesus Christ leading the way,I know that I will be okay.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,but it didn't last long.It actually started to die down while I was sitting up and after a few minutes,I went back to sleep.I escaped that episode,but I later gave into temptation by looking at pornographic images and manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near orgasm then stopping.I did sin and after closing off the internet for a while,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and after that,I felt better.I did manage to finish my personal PC work after that and I wasn't tempted for the rest of the day.I am at my most vulnerable right now as a result of my mother's death yesterday and I have to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions will be there to try and get me to go against God and his perfect law for us humans who worship him to follow.I can't let that happen.I have to keep calling out to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ for help and guidance and to get me through the storm of temptations that will now be coming as a result of my vulnerability during this tragic time.I will kepp going to both God and Christ and they will help me get through all of this,Thanks to both of them for everything that they do.Without them,I would be up the creek without a paddle and a boat.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual in the morning and I am hoping to go and see a movie in the early afternoon.As for the rest of the day,I will just sit and have many talks with my dad and enjoy him being here until he goes back home to where he lives.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am mourning the loss of my mom.She died in her sleep late last night.My sister and I discovered this early this morning and we are all in mourning as a result of what has happened.I request that those who are reading and who regularly follow my blog to please keep me and my family in their prayers as we go through this whole grieving and mourning process.
For much of the morning,I simply stayed home to prepare for what was to be prepared as a result of what happened to my mom.We were preparing the funeral arrangements,such as the viewing and visitation and everything else.This was a very shocking thing to happen and I am still in a state of shock due to what has happened.I will be missing my mom and will always miss her.She was a wonderful lady and everything and again,I will always miss her and mourn her.
After those who will be preparing the funeral took my mom's body away,I set out to do what I had planned to do.Firsthand,I did shower,had breakfast and my usual coffee and after doing my personal PC work,I got dressed to proceed with the plans that I had scheduled.
I first went to the place where the groups that I attended were held to share the tragic news about my mom's passing and after signing some papers,I headed out to do some much needed shopping.
I first stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few things and after that was done,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick one other thing that was needed.I did share the news of my mom's passing with other friends and they shared their condolences with me.After paying for what I picked up at Wal-Mart,I headed straight home and stayed there for the rest of the evening.
When I got home,I simply put all the stuff away and I helped in preparations for the upcoming memorial services for my mom.I also managed to finish some things that I meant to do.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and did some more personal PC work.I also managed to get some more recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
For tonight,I will not share anything in my recovery from the symptoms of BPD and the schizophrenic tendencies that I have alongside that nor will I talk about my struggles with SSA as a result of my mom's passing.I will discuss these things tomorrow because I am too busy and hung up on mourning my mom's tragic death.
I did manage to visit with my pastor to discuss me becoming a reinstated member of the church today and I will be a member starting the Sunday after this Sunday.
That was my day today.Thanks in advance for any prayers offered.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning Spirituality group,which I was looking forward to with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group was wonderful.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after that was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed over to a friends place to see how they were doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while and started to catch up on some music that I have been meaning to listen to and later,I watched a little TV.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.It is a never ending roller coaster ride of my emotions,where I can be up and feeling good one day or one minute,or,down and not so good the next day or minute.This means that it happens on a day to day thing or on the same day type of thing.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to endure hearing noises that only I can hear and not others,such as a voice calling my name or footsteps following me and turning and finding nothing.It is a never ending cycle.It simply never lets up.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on Both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle starts to seemingly get too unbearable for it's own good.When that happens,I simply take it to both God and Christ by praying about it and they help sustain me.It is simply a matter of taking it up with God and his son Christ Jesus to ask for help and they do it.They simply help keep me level and I move on.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate twice.Once during the wee early morning hours and the second time as I was rising up to get out of bed.Fortunately for me,these occurrences didn't last very long.I really didn't have to do anything as with the first occurrence,I simply turned another way and the erection died down and with the second occurrence,I simply got out of bed and headed for the bathroom to take my morning shower to clean up.Though I escaped this double whammy,I have to continually keep in mind that any temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form that they come as,can rear their ugly heads when least expected.I know that it is not a sin to be tempted,but it is a sin to give into any temptation to engage and/or indulge in sinful sexual activity between two members of the same gender or to lust after other men by masturbating to their images when they start to cloud the mind.The SSA struggles is never an easy struggle as I keep learning that day to day.Satan and his minions will try anything to get me to go against the law that God set forth in his sacred word,the Holy Bible.But I have to remain strong and stay the course.After that dream that I had while sleeping,it keep me even more determined,motivated and committed to keep the process up and never surrender.I also have to continually keep in mind to include God and his son Jesus Christ in all of this.I have to continually talk about my struggle with them whenever I need to have any more additional strength given to me to help in my fight to resist all sorts of temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.Whenever temptation starts to rear it's ugly head in any way,shape or form,I throw it on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after I am finished talking about it,the temptation is reduced to nil and I can move on with the rest of the day.If I ever do give into temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive and after that,God wipes the slate clean and forgets about my sin as it is forgiven.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
I had no dreams like I had the previous night.But if I do,I will share again.
Tomorrow,I am having a brief meeting with the pastor to discuss my reinstatement as a member of the church.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I showered for the first time as my locally living sister,who has now permanently moved in,installed a shower in the bathroom and it was great.After that,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,the pastor of my church came to the house to visit with my mom and the family and stayed a few minutes talking with all of us and left.After he left,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a few things planned.
I first went to the public library to print some more stuff that I wanted to have printed.After that,I went to the local K-Mart to pick up a couple or things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I managed to relax and take it easy for a while.I also managed to help my mom out a little today as the day went along.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my road to recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.At times,I really don't know if I am coming or going.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.It's bad enough having BPD,but when you also have schizophrenia alongside that,it makes for a very bumpy ride through the emotional road and the road to recovery.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.Whenever that happens,I simply rely on God and Christ by taking to them in prayer and they help sustain me.It is simply a matter of throwing it all on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and their help in keeping me level and sustained.It is never easy dealing and struggling with any mental illness or when one has a combination of two of them,but with God's help,with his son Jesus Christ helping alongside him,I have nothing to worry about as they are always there willing to help when they are asked to help out.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son,the one and only savior and very loving one at that,Jesus Christ,for everything that they do.
Regarding MY SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened out a deep sleep by yet another throbbing erection.It was a very overwhelming temptation and I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I simply sat up and when I did,the erection was still strong and since I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,I got up and walked there and as I did,the erection started to soften and after I used the bathroom,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might take,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.It always comes when I am not aware that it is coming.It is always unpredictable.I never know when it will strike.It can strike when I am trying to think of something wholesome or when I am trying to live the kind of holy life that my Heavenly Father wants me to live through his word,the Holy Bible.I also try to ask myself "What would someone who is a Christian do in a spot like this?" and I would try to find the answers via the scriptures in the Holy Bible or from books and daily devotions that have me look up very sound and important scriptures that help me deal with this sort of thing.It shows me that God is always there and that I am not alone in my fight.I am still turning to both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.It is basically a matter to go in prayer to them and throwing any temptations that I get on them and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I do ever give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my falling and after that,I feel better as God wipes the slate clean and forgets that I did sin.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all of their help and guidance as they continue to restore me to the man that not only I want to be,but the man that they intend me to be.
I also want to share this with all of you who are reading.Last night,as I slept,I had a dream and this was pretty weird.I dreamed that I was in a room full of people and was talking to them.All of a sudden,a very beautiful and attractive woman came up to me and started to kiss me passionately.Soon,I started to kiss her more on my own and we both found ourselves on the floor in the room where we still continued to kiss passionately.We also alternated between kisses by doing open mouth,regular kissing and french kissing where we put our lips together and tongue wrestle.In that dream,it gave me a wonderful feeling and I even said to her that if there was nobody in the room,I felt like ripping off her clothes and kissing her everywhere on her body from her head to her feet and she said that she would love that if I could do that to her.Of course,the whole thing ended when the alarm on my clock radio rang.But this dream did give me one reassurance.It shows that any man who struggles with Homosexuality can become a Heterosexual man as we are all Heterosexual in the eyes of God as that is what he intended all of us to be as he did create man and woman for that reason.It also motivates me even more to continue pursuing this route and to persevere in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I currently have.It also makes me even more determined to continue in this healing journey as well.I am now going to continue staying this course and continue on my journey to heal from Homosexuality/SSA and not let nothing in this world,including that wicked,evil and powerful angel Satan,the devil.Don't worry readers,I have no plans of going out to grab any woman and do this for real as in reality,it would be wrong for me to do as it is,in a way,associated with lusting.But again,it makes me more determined and more motivated to continue on this journey out of Homosexuality/SSA and attain the true identity that I was intended to have in the first place.I am now more motivated and determine like never before.It shows me that any man can become what he truly wants to be if he keeps on trying.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group meeting and lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing else planned.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Before I report on how my day went today,I want to catch up on yesterday as posting my day yesterday slipped my mind as I had so much on my mind yesterday.
Yesterday,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After bating,I had breakfast and coffee and did part of my personal PC work before getting dressed and going to my Monday afternoon group,which went great.After that,I headed straight home as I had really nothing else to do.
I simply stayed home and relaxed while watching some TV and did some recommended Holy Bible reading before turning in for the night and anticipating the events of the next day.
Now that I am all caught up,now to today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and after giving mom her medication for the morning,I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the mechanic's garage to get my car checked out to see if it needs any work to pass inspection next month,which it does as I need some minor brake work.After that was done,I headed over to the public library to print something.After that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I watched a little bit more TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory.As I have stated before,I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.It is always a non-stop thing with me in regards to my emotional make-up.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggle even more difficult.I never know what sounds that I might hear that others can't hear.When it starts to become seemingly too unbearable,I always turn to God and his son Jesus Christ whenever that happens.I simply talk about these mental health struggles with both God and Christ and not only do I feel a tad better,but they help is sustaining me.It is simply a matter of talking it out and throwing everything on them both and feeling a little bit better.Again,it shows that I am not alone in this struggle.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning when I masturbated.I really felt bad for that as it was a very crushing weight on me.After it was all over,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sin and after that,I felt better as God has now forgotten my sin and has wiped the slate clean.I do have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form that it comes around in,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I now have to really stay on guard and be watchful as the temptation can come when I really don't expect them to come.I don't really want to act out on these unnatural desires that I have because God didn't intend for sexuality to be used the way that they world is using as well as abusing it.God never intended for two members of the same gender to indulge in sinful sexual activity with each other.He created man and woman and that alone shows that he only approved of healthy and happy Heterosexuality and not Homosexuality.God through his sacred and inspired word,the Holy Bible,condemns such practices.It is as sinful as anything else that is sinful.I am going to really push myself to start relying more on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever temptation rears it's ugly head.If I don't,I will continue to stumble and fall.I am also asking and appealing for those who read my blog regularly to pray for me that God continues to set me free from the chains of this destructive sinful pattern that is connected with the sinful and destructive sexual lifestyle known as the so called "Gay" lifestyle.Please pray for me and also,pray that I become determined to rely more on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggles seems to be getting too impossible or unbearable.I would really appreciate that.Thanks to all of you for prayers offered and also,Thanks to both God and Christ for all they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit to head over to the church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with the other members,I headed straight home.
I had to hurry home to sign some legal papers with a lawyer and after that was done,I got out out of my suit and into some casual clothes and headed back out again.There was a charity chicken barbecue at the fire hall across from church and I headed over there for a chicken lunch and also,to help benefit the church.
I had a wonderful lunch with the people and after talking with some of them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I did my personal PC work.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.For me,going to church makes the day eventful.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.It is just a non-stop ride that never seems to want to end.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that my BPF struggles even more difficult.At times,I never know if I am coming or going.But when the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable,I simply talk about it with God and his son Jesus Christ and after a while,I feel only a little bit better.The struggle with having BPD and schizophrenia at the same time is never an easy one.It is a very difficult thing to deal with.But with the help of God and his son Christ Jesus,it makes it only a tad easier.It is simply a matter of talking about the struggle with God in the name of his some Jesus Christ and they both help to sustain me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggles with these mental disorders.Thanks to both God and Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation as it was yet another overwhelming one.I simply sat up and sat for a while until the erection died down and also,I had to use the bathroom.After finishing,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I have to continually keep in mind that these temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form they take or can be,can rear their ugly heads when least expected.I am always in a war to fight and resist all of these temptations.I also still get tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near erect for masturbation or to reach orgasm and quit.I am always at war with these unnatural desires that I have.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable.I simply take it to God and I throw the temptation on him and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.It sows that I am not alone in my fight and if I ever were to give into any temptation,I simply ask God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,God forgets the sin and I can move on.It is great that our Heavenly Father is a very loving God and that his son is also a very loving savior and all.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have a building and improving self esteem group meeting that I need to attend.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had some stuff that I needed to do.I first had to meet with my sister's lawyer to discuss some legal issues regarding the house we live in and other things.The meeting with the lawyer lasted a little over 20 minutes and after the meeting was done,I headed out to run some errands that needed to be run.
I first went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few more things that were needed and after I paid for those,I also had to pick up a couple of things for myself.After paying for those,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to check on a friend that I hadn't spoken to in quite a while to see how they were doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and I relaxed while making some time to do some recommended Holy Bible reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.It is always a struggle and it's never and easy one.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Whenever it seems to be getting too unbearable,I turn to both God and his son Jesus Christ and they help sustain me.It is never an easy struggle,but I do feel a tad better whenever it is God's hands.It is simply a matter of taking it both God and Christ and talking about it and feeling better once I do that.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.Again,I had to really use all of my strength to resist this temptation.I really wanted to grab my genitals and simply make myself ejaculate.But instead,I simply chose to sit up and sat up for a while until the erection died down and after it did die down,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that these temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,which can take any type of form,can rear their ugly heads when least expected.I am always in a fight against these unnatural desires.It seems that these desires won't let up until I decide to surrender to them and give up the fight and simply live my life in sin rather than do what I know is the right thing to do.But I can't let that happen.I have to make it so that I own the unnatural desires and not them owning me.I will not give Satan what he wants.He wants me to indulge in all the sinful sexual activity that the so called "Homosexual/Gay" lifestyle offers and that is not what I want to do,but these unnatural desires that I have,which are connected to and borne out of Satan,want me to do so.I am still getting tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near erect for the purpose of masturbation or to simply bring myself to orgasm and stop.I am still turning to God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable to handle or when it is border-lining on seemingly impossible.I simply throw the temptation on God and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to strengthen me and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I do give into any temptation,I simply ask God to forgive me in his son Jesus Christ's name to forgive and after that,my sin is forgotten by God.I am also still asking for prayers by everyone who visits this blog of mine.I see that people visit my blog and read,but they don't leave anything.I am always asking for some encouraging and/or supporting words to help keep me going.Please share a word or two and also,keep me in your prayers.Thanks.Thanks also to both both God and his son Jesus Christ for all their help and strength.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual and the Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a few things planned.
I really didn't have too much to do today.I simply went out to run a few errands that needed to be run.I was out for only a few hours today.I went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few more things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.It is a never ending unpredictable cycle.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable.I simply take it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I feel a little bit better.It is simply a matter of talking about the struggle with God and asking him in the name of his son Christ Jesus to aid and abet in the recovery.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.It was a really overwhelming urge that I had to give into this temptation.I had to really use all the strength that I had to resist this temptation.I had to get up and sit up for a while and I did that,the erection softened and I used the bathroom,which I had to do,before going back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,which can take any form,can rear their ugly heads when least expected.I never know when they are about to strike.I am always in a fight to resist the temptations to act out on these desires that I have.I am also still in the fight to resist the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near erect for the purpose of masturbating or to make myself have an orgasm and yes,there is usually some lusting after other men involved with this,though other times,it can be an emotional thing.Whenever I give into that particular temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me.I am still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable to handle or endure and I ask them for help in giving me strength to resist.After that,the temptation is reduced to nil.But I'm also in need of prayers by others to help me in my resistance regarding the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect for masturbation or to bring myself to orgasm and stop.This temptation has been a real drag for me as I don't want to do that unclean thing anymore.If anyone can offer some helpful as well as spiritual advice in how I can resist the temptation to "play with myself", please share as I am open to anything to help me stop this unclean activity.I will keep praying to both God and his son Christ Jesus in the long run and again,prayers and advice are always appreciated.Thanks in advance for anything offered and also,Thanks again to both God and his Jesus Christ for being there to show that I am not alone in my struggle.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work,including registering a whole bunch of bills at the Where's George website,and after that was done,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
My niece was over for much of the day and when she went out for an hour to go to a local supermarket,I watched over my mom while she wasn't there and when my niece returned,I headed out to do what I had planned for the day.
I first went to city hall to pay on the water bill and after that was done,I headed over to the post office to mail out a couple more of important bills.After that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local store to pick up some stuff that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did some more personal PC work while watching my mom.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.It is a never ending ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more than anything.I simply take it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help sustain me.It is simply a matter of bringing the struggle to God and him and his son help keep me calm,cool and help with getting it together.It is still difficult,but God and Christ both help to make it only a tad easier.Thanks to both God and Christ for all of their help.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge.It was also a very overwhelming urge at that.I simply sat up and while doing so,the erection softened and since I had to use the bathroom,I walked there and the erection fully softened as I was heading for there and after using the bathroom,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I am still in a constant fight to resist the urge to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and the fight is always a very difficult one at that.I am always at war and it does seem that at times,the unnatural desires that I have refuse to surrender.But I am not going to give Satan nor his minions anything that they want because they want me to weaken and surrender to Homosexuality,but I refuse to do so.When that happens,I simply take it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help get me through any temptation.I simply throw the temptation on God and ask him in his son Christ's name to help me and the temptation is reduced to nil.If I do give into any form of temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and after that,the slate is wiped clean and it is forever forgotten by God.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that makes me feel better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all of their help and getting me through every sort of temptation under the sun.
Tomorrow,I have a Spirituality group that I must attend and after that,lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing else planned.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things planned for today.I first did a little bit more cleaning up around the house and after that was done,I had my mom prepare the bills to be mailed out today and also,to withdraw some money from the bank.After that was all done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something that was needed for the house.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while and also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know,from day to day,or,from one minute to the next,how my mood will be.It is a very difficult thing to deal and/or endure with.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle with BPD even more difficult.Aside from that emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with hearing things that others can't hear,such as footsteps or the calling of my name.When it becomes seemingly too difficult,I simply take it to both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever that happens.I simply talk about it with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.It is simply a way of taking it to them and asking them for help.It is great that I am not alone in my struggle.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.It was a really overwhelming urge.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming temptation.I simply sat up and as I did,the erection died down and when my genitals were softened,I simply laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I am still keeping in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might take,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I never know when those temptation will come.They simply strike when least expected.I am always at war with these unnatural desires that I have as I refuse to let them define who I am as a human being.I have only accepted my identity as male and I accept nothing else.The temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can be a very overwhelming one at that.While that can be,I am still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ when that happens.Whenever the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have come around,as it does come when I least it to come,I simply throw it on God and talk about the temptation in the name of his son Jesus Christ and the temptation is reduced to nil.I am trying to tell the desires that I have that I own them and they don't own me.If I ever do give into any temptation to act out,I simply ask God to forgive in the name of his son Christ Jesus and after that,the slate is wiped clean and God forgets it.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all of their help and for showing me that I am not alone in my struggles.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of my day.
I first went to my building and improving self esteem group.I was looking forward to this group with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.I headed over there.
The meeting was wonderful.After meeting with someone privately at the group's offices,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local 7-Eleven to buy a hot dog for lunch and after I ate it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having this.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more than on human therapy.They have powers that exceed anything by humans.Whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable or seemingly too impossible to endure,I simply take it to both God and Christ and they help sustain me.It is just a matter of throwing it on God and have his son Jesus Christ work alongside him to help in the sustaining.Admittedly,battling BPD,alongside the schizophrenic tendencies that I have,is not easy,but with God and Christ,it does make it a tad easier.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This really was an overwhelming temptation and the erection was really a throbbing one at that.This was a very difficult temptation to resist and this time,I had to take it to God in prayer to help give me the strength to resist this overwhelming urge.I also had to get up and use the bathroom and after I was finished,the erection died down and I simply went back to sleep after I was finished.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might take,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always at war with the unnatural desires that I have and the war is usually a seemingly and very unbearable one at that.It seems to get tougher no matter how much I resist any temptation that tries to envelope me.I also,at times,get tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near erect for the purpose of masturbation and most of the time,lusting does play a role in that.When this happens,I simply turn to both God and his son Jesus Christ.I simply throw the temptation on God and ask in his son Christ Jesus' name to help me in my resistance and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.It is simply a matter of throwing it on God and ask him to help me to gain victory over my inherent weaknesses due to the fall from perfection and again,the temptation is reduced to nil.If it ever happens that I do give into the temptation,I simply ask God to forgive in the name of his son Jesus Christ's names and after that,the slate is wiped clean and is forgotten by God as God does forgive whenever anyone,like myself,gives into any temptations.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and for being there whenever the SSA struggles seems to be getting too unbearable or impossible.Thanks again to them both.
Tomorrow,I have plans to go to the post office to mail out some bills and also,to withdraw some much needed money for the bank.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go onward.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and headed for the church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some fellowship with everyone,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes.I had a light lunch and after that,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I did a little bit more cleaning up around the house.I even managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.For me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.
While my recovery continues to go onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I still attend my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about it with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help sustain me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and Christ for all of their help.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.It was another overwhelming temptation at that.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I sat up and chose to do so for a while and when the erection died down,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it takes,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I never know when the temptation will hit or what form it will take.I am always at war with these unnatural sexual desires and at times,the battle seems to be a very impossible one to fight.When that happens,I simply turn to God and his son Jesus Christ and they help in getting me through it all.I simply talk about the temptation with God and his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.It shows that I don't have to go it alone and that I can turn to them whenever I need to do so to reduce any type of temptation.If I do ever give into temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and after that,the slate is wiped clean and is forgotten by God.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all of their help and everything else that they provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual building and improving self esteem group.As for the rest of the day,I have made no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I headed over to a Men's Network meeting,which I was looking forward to with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The meeting was wonderful.After the meeting was over,I headed over to a nearby Salvation Army thrift store to look around and bought a few things.After that,I headed over to the public library to do my personal PC work and also,to print something from my e-mail.After that was all done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more diffcult in regards to hearing sounds that nobody else hears.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming and/or way too unbearable to handle.I simply take it to both God and his son Jesus Christ in prayer and they help sustain me.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for all that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.It was a really overwhelming temptation at that.I had to really use all of my own strength to fight and resist this temptation.I simply sat up and waited for the erection to die down and when it did,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I am still keeping in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it takes,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in a fight to resist all sorts of temptations to act out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have,which I have been battling for years and the battle gets even more difficult day after day,week after week,month after month and year after year.I am always at war with them and the war can get way too difficult to handle.When that happens,I simply continue to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the temptations seems to be getting way too overwhelming and/or way too unbearable to handle.I simply take the temptation to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after talking about it to them,the temptation is reduced to nil.If ever I do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for that and after that,the slate is wiped clean and is forgotten by God as he forgives the sin of giving into temptation.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual,including the Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the service.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning,despite some complications,and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed to do some important things that needed to be done because I had to keep an eye on my mom for the rest of the day as my sister and niece had some stuff to do.
For most of the afternoon,I did my personal PC work and I also had myself a light lunch of a bowl of soup.After lunch,I decided to simply take it easy while watching my mom and helping her when she needed it.
My mom really needed all the help that she could get from me for much of the day and I was glad to oblige.I did manage to get some recommended Holy Bible reading is as well, while doing what I could for my mom.It is requiring an awful lot and believe me,it is a wonder that I haven't cracked under the pressure.
After eating a light dinner,I watched the evening news for a while and I also managed to get some more personal PC work in.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood will be from day to day,or,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult as I have to put up with hearing sounds and noises that nobody else hears,except me.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more than on any human devices,such as medication or therapy.God and his son Jesus Christ collectively have power greater than any human power.I simply take it to them and they help in sustaining me.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle with BPD and the schizophrenic tendencies and that it great.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This temptation was a really overwhelming one.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I simply sat up and I stayed sitting up until the erection had died down.I simply went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might take,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always at war with these unnatural sexual desires and at times,the war can seem unbearable.There are times that I do feel like giving up,but that is what Satan,the Devil wants me to do,and I am not going to let him have his way with me.I am going to continue fighting these unnatural desires that I have and show the devil that he can't win with me.I am also still calling out to God whenever the struggle seems to be getting too overwhelming or seemingly too unbearable to handle.If and/or when a temptation seems to be getting to strong,overwhelming or seemingly unbearable,I throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I ever do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and after that,the slate is wiped clean and is forgotten by God once he forgives.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that makes me feel pretty good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they offer and for getting me through the temptations that go with the territory of the struggles with SSA.
Tomorrow,I have a Men's Network meeting that I must attend.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,despite some interruptions,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of my day.
I first went to my spirituality group,which I was looking forward to with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby post office to drop off a package that I had to return.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed over to the drug store to pick up my mom's prescriptions.After paying the co-pay for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I helped out my mom a little more and in between,managed to get in some recommended Holy Bible readings in.My mom came home late yesterday and she has been resting comfortably since then.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.It is never an easy thing to cope with.I never know ho wmy mood will be from one day to the next or from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggles seems to be getting too unbearable to handle or endure.I simply take it both God and Christ and they help sustain me.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming temptation.I simply sat up for a while and after the erection died down,I laid down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might take,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always at war with the sinful sexual desires that I wish that I didn't have to fight,but each and every day,I am always in the fight for my life against these unnatural sexual desires.The fight,at times,seems to get way too unbearable for me to handle.Still,I am always re;ying on both God and his son Jesus Christ to help me in those times.Whenever the temptation seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle,I simply throw the temptation on both God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.After that,I move on.If I ever do give into the temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and after that,the slate is wiped clean and is forgotten by God.Again,it shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that I don't have to go it alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all of their help.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as i had a few things planned.
I first went to get my hair cut.After that,I headed over to the garage to get my alignment done on my car,which really needed to get done.After that was done,I headed over to the hospital to spend some time with my mother.After doing so,I headed over to a friend's house to see how he was doing.After spending some time with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my road to recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next or from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable.I simply talk about it to them and after that,I feel a tad better.It also shows that I am not alone in my BPD struggles.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This was yet another overwhelming temptation and I really had to use all my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I simply sat up and while sitting up,the erection died down and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in the fight to resist any form of temptation.At times,it feels to unbearable to continue in the fight to do what is right.When that happens,I simply turn to both God and his son Jesus Christ for help whenever that happens.I simply throw the temptation on them and they help sustain me.I also feel much better after doing that.It again shows that I am not alone in my fight and that makes me feel pretty good.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards.I am also planning to pay my mom a visit at the hospital as well.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for teh day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda.I first went to the post office to mail out a couple of important bills and after that was done,I headed over to the bank to withdraw some money for my alignment tomorrow.After that,I headed over to the hospital to see how my mom was doing and spent some time with her.My mom was hoping to be out by today,but the hospital is keeping her there for a couple more days.After that,I headed over to a friend's house to see how they were doing and I also spent some time with them.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the BPD struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable.I simply take it to both God and Christ in prayer and they help sustain me.It is great that I am not alone in my struggle.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I simply sat up for a while and the erection softened.I went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I get tempted almost every day to act out on them.Though I have been ignoring them,they do keep coming back.Still,I am relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the SSA struggle seems to be getting too unbearable to handle.I simply throw the temptation on both God and Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.It is great to rely on God and have him help me in doing the right thing.Thanks again to both God and Christ for everything.
Tomorrow,I have to get my wheels aligned.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing else planned.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Happy Labor Day to all of you out there.
Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went over to my sister's house to do my laundry.I had quite a bit that I needed to do and my sister said that it was okay for me to use her washing machine and dryer to do my dirty clothes.I got all of my dirty clothes together and headed over to my sister's house.
When I got there,I started to do my laundry.I had to do it in two separate loads as I had a lot to do.It took a little over two hours,but I managed to get it done.After folding everything,I dropped my laundry off at home and I headed for the hospital to pay my mom a visit.
After spending some time with my mom,I headed over to a friend's house to see how he was doing and to keep him up to date on my mom's status.After spending some time with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I helped out with some more cleaning up around the house and after it was finished,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.It is never easy dealing and struggling with a disorder like mine.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too overwhelming or too unbearable to handle.When this happens,I simply take it to both God and Christ and they help sustain me.After that,I feel a little bit better.Thanks to both God and Christ for being there.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation earlier this morning when I masturbated.After it was all over,I felt really terrible about the fall and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling.I gave into temptation,but I felt better after asking God in the name of Jesus Christ to forgive me.I am now forgiven and the slate is wiped clean.This shows me that the temptation to act out on the unnatural desires that I have can come like a thief in the night.I have to stay on guard and be watchful as they can come when least expected.I am always in a fight with these unnatural desires and I hate it when I fall.The fall only shows me that I have to keep relying on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever these temptations come.I have to accept the fact that I can never go it alone.God and Christ have to be involved in this all the way.I have to keep letting them in whenever temptation rears it's ugly head.I also have to work on going to them constantly whenever the urge does come.I am also asking that those who follow my blog regularly pray for me constantly as well.Please pray for me as I am going through this difficult time.I would really appreciate that.Thanks in advance to everyone for all their prayers and support.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I got dressed up in a suit to go to church and I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm to both the worship service and the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the service.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with the members,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up some things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I was surprised to see that my locally living sister was already at the house doing some cleaning up.When I got out of my suit and into a pair of sweatpants,I started to help out a little by bring some more stuff to the cellar and also,doing some much needed vacuuming in the living room before putting some stuff back in it's place.I also managed to get a few more things done.After doing those things,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed and I headed out to go visit my mom at the hospital.
On the way there,I stopped at the local Target to pick up a few important personal things.After paying for them,I headed for a local restaurant to pick up a sandwich for a quick lunch.After eating that,I headed over to the hospital.
When I got to the hospital,I spent some time with my mom keeping her company for a while and after I did,I headed over to a friend's house who lived within the same area of the hospital and spent some time with him.
After spending some time with my friend,I headed over to my sister's boyfriend's house to have a little bit of eating with them.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in at the same time.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.For me,going to church on Sunday morning makes the day eventful.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next or from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too overwhelming or unbearable to handle.I simply take it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and talk about it and after that,I feel a tad better.I continue to seek God and ask him to help sustain me.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my own strength to fight and resist this temptation.I simply turned to the opposite side and the erection simply died down and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I am still in the fight for my life when it comes to SSA and how to fight it.It is a very difficult fight where I am at war with the unnatural desires that I have and the fight is always a difficult one.It is simply a battle to do the right thing in God's eyes and to continue that fight.I am still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting too overwhelming and seemingly unbearable to handle.Whenever tempted to act out,I simply take it to God in prayer and I throw everything on him in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I feel better and the temptation is reduced to nil.If I ever were to give into any temptation,I simply ask God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,which is the Labor Day holiday,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ