Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
Today,since it was raining,I was hoping to get around to doing some much needed house cleaning,but my niece called and asked me to babysit for her kids while she went to work and until her live in boyfriend came home.I went over there and everything there went well.After her live in boyfriend came home,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend was doing and after a few minutes,I headed over to the drug store to pick up a prescription.After paying the co-pay on it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to fix my evening meal and after that,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one minute to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this struggle to my Heavenly Father and throw it on him as a burden.I ask him for strength to help me endure through the negative affects in the name of his son Jesus Christ.They both help in keeping me sustained and also,on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning by masturbating.Yes,I did.It was to sexual images of men clouding my mind.I really felt miserable after this and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and left nothing out.I confessed everything to him.After that,I felt better and I truly believed and knew that I was truly forgiven and that my Heavenly Father wiped the slate clean.I have been falling pretty much over the last several days.I really don't know why.Fellow blog followers,I would really appreciate some prayers right now.I desperately need them.I also desperately need some words of encouragement at this moment.I need them both.I am still going through a very difficult emotional period and these latest falls that I have been experiencing are terrible.I don't want to keep falling and falling every time that I turn around.Please continue praying for me.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.They both do help out in a lot of ways.Yes,they do.You never know how powerful prayers and words of encouragement can be.Please pray for me and don't be afraid to leave me some words of encouragement.They can be in the form of being upbuilded by scripture or just something that I know can help from the heart.Thanks to all of you in advance for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work quickly and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,which was a wonderful meeting.We all shared insight from what we were learning from the Holy Bible and it was a very lively discussion.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped off some things and after that,I headed out again to turn in a whole bunch of cans and bottles that had accumulated in my car and after that was done,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to do some grocery shopping and after that was done,I did some more grocery shopping at other stores and when I was finally finished,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I had a light evening meal of a bowl of soup and a sandwich as I got home very late in the day as I was out doing all of that grocery shopping.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure through the negatives of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with on a daily basis.They both help in not only sustaining me,but also help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and I headed for there.The erection started to soften as I headed for there and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted,though minimally,throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies with other men.I stayed out much of the day and that took my mind off of anything sexual.I simply kept myself busy with my spirituality group,turning in all the bottles and cans that I had and doing the grocery shopping.I stayed busy and nothing sexual entered my mind while doing so.Though I escaped unscathed today,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that all of you please leave me an encouraging word or two.I need both prayers and words of encouragement.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also strengthen both my determination to overcome SSA and my motivation to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I didn't have too much to do today.I simply ran an errand that needed to be run.I went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things that I needed.After that,I picked up several more bottles and cans all over the place and I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player.I simply decided to get ready to turn in for the evening.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I have.They both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me calmer and much more level.It shows that I am never alone in this particular fight and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I started to sit up in bed and proceeded to get out of bed,which made the erection soften.I walked for a bit and my genitals softened within a few minutes.I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men,but staying out in the community kept my mind off of these things.I stayed out for a while and I kept my mind at what I was doing.This took my mind off of anything sexual with men and I managed to squeeze by without any problems.Though I escaped today unscathed,I am again asking that all of my fellow blog followers who regularly read my posts here to please continue praying for me.I also ask that when you visit,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.They both help keep me going.They also strengthen both my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.I need both prayers and positive verbal encouragement as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time at the moment.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much planned for today.I am still fighting cold symptoms,though they're not as bad as they were when my cold first started almost two weeks ago.I am still taking Echinacea teas and taking Echinacea and Golden Seal capsules.I am hopping that by the end of the week,my cold will be completely knocked out.
I still kept busy with life despite the cold.I had to run errands for myself.I had to buy some things that I needed really desperately.I went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up these things and after paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I spent the whole afternoon putting empty cans and bottles from the back seat of my car into black garbage bags after putting the stuff that I bought away.After that was done,I did some more personal PC work while preparing my evening meal.
After eating my evening meal,I went out to run a few more errands again.I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of other things.After that,I headed straight home and that is where I stayed for the rest of the evening as I had to get ready for bed and get up tomorrow morning.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.As I have said before and I will say again,I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with on a daily basis.They both help in keeping me sustained and also keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I turned the opposite way of the bed,but that only made the erection throb.I proceeded to get out of bed to walk a little and when I started doing that,the erection started to soften.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.But today,since I was out in the community,I really didn't have much to worry about.I simply went through the day without the thoughts and I made it through.Though I did escape today,I am asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep on praying for me as I am going through a very difficult emotional time.I need your prayers really desperately.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.They both help in a lot of ways.They help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also strengthen both my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much to do today.I simply cleaned up around the house and relaxed for a bit.The only real thing that I did was that I had to babysit for my niece's kids.After a few hours with them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did some more personal PC work and also relaxed.
After eating,I watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player and did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help me in keeping me sustained and also,much calmer and level.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was awakened by another erection and I was tempted to grab it and masturbate it away.I sat up in bed and I headed for the bathroom as I had to use it.As I was on my way there,the erection started to soften.My genitals were fully soft when I was finished and I went right back to bed and to sleep when finished.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in sinful lusting and fantasies of other men.Throughout the day,sexual images of men clouded my mind and I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges.I asked my Heavenly Father to give me the strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist these urges.I did feel better and much stronger after I was finished praying.Though I did this throughout the day,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that all of you please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words very desperately.They both help keep me going.They also strengthen both my determination to overcome SSA and my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up real quickly and I headed over to the church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.I even had the opportunity to do another reading from the Holy Bible in front of the congregation today.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit.I did my personal PC work and I relaxed for the rest of the afternoon.
After eating,I watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player and I relaxed while watching it.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that does make my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure through the negative effects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in sustaining me and keeping me much calmer.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation yet again by masturbation.Yes,there was lusting and fantasizing with other men involved in this latest fall as it was yesterday.I really felt terrible when this happened as I felt that I really seriously sinned against my Heavenly Father as a result of this latest fall.I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me and I begged for his mercy in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I left nothing out as I prayed to him and I really poured myself out to him.After praying,I felt much better and I knew and truly believed that my Heavenly Father forgave me for my sins and washed the slate clean after doing so.I simply moved on with the rest of the day as it went along.I was home the rest of the day after coming home as I really didn't have much to do.I simply stayed home and took it easy and just watched a movie.Because of my latest fall,I need to keep my mind focused on positive,healthy and holy thoughts.I need to get my mind off of anything sexual pertaining to men and focus on positive and holy thoughts about men.I need to keep in mind that men were made simply to be friends with each other in the forms of friendship,bonding and healthy authentic connections,and not for selfish purposes,such as all forms of sexual activity associated with the so called "Homosexual/Gay" culture and lifestyle.I have to keep saying to myself that I am a man and a male and that male is both my gender identity and my sexual identity.The thing with "Homosexual/Gay" is that it is a simply a label and at the same time,a false identity.Why is this particular identity false?It is because our Heavenly Father at the beginning of things created man and later created woman as a companion and compliment to him.Our Heavenly Father approves only of happy and healthy Heterosexuality as he created man and woman for that reason.Heterosexuality is the true human sexual identity and not Homosexuality,which also includes Bisexuality,which like "Homosexuality/Gay" is as much a false identity as "Homosexual/Gay" is.I have to continually keep in mind that our creator,who is our Heavenly Father and sovereign Lord,only approves of man and woman having sexual activity and relations with each other in the bonds of holy marriage,which is a very sacred thing to our Heavenly Father as he only approves of men and woman marrying each other and having relations with only each other.Our Heavenly Father never intended sexuality to be used and abused in the way that the rest of the world is using and abusing sexuality at this particular moment.To my fellow blog followers,I really need prayers real bad.Please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also desperately need some positive words of encouragement from all of you.I need both prayers and positive verbal encouragement from all of you.I am in desperate need of both of these things.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They both help strengthen my determination to keep going in this struggle and to continue in overcoming it and my motivation to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Please fellow followers,I desperately need both your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks to advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I watched a little TV.I woke up with congestion and a headache as a result of that congestion.I also felt dizzy.I am still battling cold symptoms.I watched a little TV and I also had my usual quick breakfast.I also had my usual two cups of coffee.After I was done watching TV,I brewed some Echinacea tea and I drank it.I also brewed another cup and I took two Echinacea and Golden Seal capsules alongside a pain reliever powder and I went back to bed to lay down for a while.I needed to get rid of the headache and the dizziness that went with it.
After laying down for a little over an hour and a half,I showered quickly and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I decided to get dressed and go out for some fresh air and run a few errands.
I first went to the Dollar Tree store to pick up a bottle of aspirin and a can of chicken noodle soup.After that,I headed back home.
When I got home,I heated up the can of soup and I ate it for lunch.I also registered the three dollar bills that I got in change and after that,I headed back out again.
I first went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a bottle of Echinacea and Golden Seal capsules.After that,I decided to do a little bit of shopping at the local Salvation Army thrift store.When that was done,I headed straight home,
When I got home,I relaxed and brewed another cup of Echinacea tea and took a few Echinacea and Golden Seal capsules.After that,I brewed another cup of tea and did more personal PC work.
After having a light evening meal,I watched a little bit more TV and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle as a burden on my Heavenly Father.I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in sustaining me and keep me much calmer.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation again today by masturbating and yes,there was lusting and fantasizing with other men involved as well.When I sinned again,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I left nothing out as I prayed.I told my Heavenly Father everything and I left nothing out.I did feel better after I was finished praying and I also truly knew and believed that I was forgiven and that my Heavenly Father wiped the slate clean.I simply went through the rest of the day and nothing else happened as I was out in the community for much of the day.I am asking all of my fellow blog followers to please keep praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I am also asking that all of you fellow blog followers not to be shy and please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.Please pray for me and also,please leave me something encouraging in the comments section.Your prayers and positive verbal encouragement both help keep me going in this particular struggle.They also help strengthen both my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and my motivation to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks to all of you in advance for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had only a few things to do today.I was still battling symptoms of the common cold.I first went to a friends house to pick something up and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to see if they had a particular type of herbal tea that I was looking for,which they didn't.After that,I headed over to a local supermarket to see if they had it,which they did,but I could only use it during the evening time.I also picked up a bag of cough drops.After paying for that,I headed over to another local supermarket to buy a pack of herbal tea to drink during the day.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I had a light snack and I did some more personal PC work.I also made a cup of tea to drink for my cold symptoms.
After eating,I watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player while relaxing for the rest of the day.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I am starting to feel a little bit better in regards to the depressions that I felt last week,but I am still dealing with BPD and it's symptoms.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I have and at times,it gets worse instead of better as my moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I ask my Heavenly Father for strength to help me endure in the name of his son Jesus Christ.They both help in keeping me sustained and much more calmer.It makes me feel a little bit better knowing that my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ are there to help me through.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was awakened by an erection and I was tempted to masturbate when it woke me up out of a deep sleep,but it didn't last very long.I had to use the bathroom,so I got up and headed for the bathroom.As I headed for there,the erection started to die down and my genitals were fully soft once I was finished.I went back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.I simply stayed busy by being out in the community and just doing what I had to do.This kept my mind off of sexual stuff and that did make me feel pretty good emotionally.I stayed busy and managed to keep my mind focused on what I was doing.Though I did escape today unscathed,I am again asking that all of my fellow blog followers to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that you please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also strengthen both my determination to continue to overcome this terrible SSA and my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had a few things on my agenda today.I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and I was looking forward to that.
The group meeting went well.After the meeting was over,I headed for a local kitchen to have lunch and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to get a gallon of milk.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the milk away and I relaxed and did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player while relaxing.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.The depression that I have had since this past Saturday is starting to finally lift.I am feeling a little bit better.I am still feeling some sadness,but it is getting better.I am hoping that by the end of this week,I will be feeling better.I am also still dealing with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that does make my struggles with BPD and this current depression even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also relying more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle is seemingly getting way too difficult for me to handle.I throw this struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden and I ask him to help me endure through the negative effects in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I feel more sustained and much more at ease after praying.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation last last night by masturbating to sexual images of men that clouded my mind while I was trying to get to sleep.When I fell,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out.When I finished praying,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven by my Heavenly Father and that the slate was wiped clean.I really need to work real hard in keeping my mind off of sexual stuff and more on positive and healthy stuff.I have to continually keep in mind that my Heavenly Father doesn't approve of this sort of thing.I have been on a healing journey for a long time now and I still seek healing.I want to heal and I want to be whole.I keep praying that I want to heal,but I fail at times and I am back to square one all over again.I want to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to please keep praying for me.I also ask that you leave me an encouraging comment or two in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.Please continue praying for me.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continues positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
Today,my throat started to feel better as it wasn't as scratchy and sore as it was for the last two days.I kept up spraying the throat spray and taking the throat drops and my throat isn't as sire as it was before.I am still feeling only a little bit of soreness,but I will keep treating it with the throat spray and taking the throat drops.
Since my throat was feeling better,I had a talk with my new job placement counselor and it was wonderful.After we ended our session,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after that,I ran a few more errands before heading straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my clothes and slipped into a home suit.I relaxed and did some more personal PC work.
After eating my evening meal,which was over at my sister's house tonight and it gave me a break from cooking,I came home and I watched a video and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.The depression that I was in over the weekend as a result of the one year anniversary of my mother's death has eased a little more,but I am still feeling this because yesterday was the one year anniversary of her funeral.It isn't as bad as it was when it first started,but I am still feeling sad.I am hoping that by the end of the week,I will be feeling better and I will start feeling more like myself again.I will still continue to keep on praying to my Heavenly Father.I will keep asking him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through this depression.I know that they both will and I know that it won't be overnight,but I know that I will start too feel better soon.I also need prayers from all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts here.I need prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.They both help out in a lot of ways.They both help keep me going.They also help make me even more determined to keep on living and also,they more positive encouragement that I get,the better that I feel.The more prayers that get,the more my faith and belief in both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ increases.Please keep up in prayers for me and also,don't forget your positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I really haven't got an issue right now as I haven't been tempted much to act out in any way,shape or form.I have been keeping busy by going out and running the errands.I will share more when the unnatural desires that I have start to act up again,but so far,nothing has happened.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my Thursday morning spirituality group,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I still had a scratchy sore throat today.Though it wasn't as bad as was yesterday,it was still sore.I continued using throat drops and spraying my throat with throat spray.I didn't let my sore throat stop me from getting important things done.I still ran my errands and was glad to get them done.After they were done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did a little bit more personal PC work before sitting down to my evening meal,which was light as I really wasn't in the mood to cook something.I also did one more thing before turning in for the night.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still having to deal with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I am still feeling depressed as a result of the one year anniversary of my mother's death.Tomorrow,it will be the one year anniversary of her funeral,and I am still feeling the feelings of depression that I felt on Saturday.I am hoping to get through the week and still hope that my depression eases.I am also still dealing with the schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle and current depression even more difficult to handle.I won't be seeing my therapist for quite a while,but I will continue to take my medication as directed.I will also still continue to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle tried to drain me of my emotional energy.I have been praying to my Heavenly Father daily and asking him for help in getting me through this depression and also,to help me deal with the symptoms of BPD and Schizophrenia that I struggle with daily.I ask for strength to help me endure and they give it to me.I feel more sustained and more at ease.I feel a tad better knowing that I am not alone in this particular fight and struggle.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am still not ready to share them here for now.So far,since I have been keeping myself busy and trying to have this depression eased,I really haven't been thinking too much about anything lustful and fantasy like.I am just going to go through the days and work to have this current depression eased.I am again asking that all of you pray for me as I am still going through this difficult emotional time.I also ask for some positive verbal encouragement.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.Please keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging comment or two as I truly and desperately need both of these things.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have to meet with my new job placement counselor and if my sore throat isn't any better by tomorrow,I am going to head to the emergency ward at the local hospital.I have nothing else planned for tomorrow,but I do hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I woke up this morning with a scratchy sore throat.I took a few throat drops that I had throughout the day,but nothing was working.I had only a few things on my agenda for today,so I decided to get these done.
I first went to a local supermarket to turn in some bottles and cans that had accumulated in the back seat of my car and that I had put into garbage bags.After collecting the money for these,I headed over to a local McDonald's to get a nice cold vanilla ice cream cone to help cool down my scratchy throat.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the bills that I had at the Where's George site.After that,I decided to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I went back out to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things for my sore throat.I picked up a bag of throat drops and a bottle of throat spray.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I took my psychiatric medication and sprayed my throat with the throat spray.I also put pajamas on as I stayed home for the rest of the day.A little later on,I sucked on a throat drop.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.Tonight,I am still dealing with the depression that I had from Saturday,though it is not as bad as it was then.Still,I am dealing with it and I am hoping that it lifts soon.I am also still dealing with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that is making both my BPD struggles and the depression even more difficult.I will be relying more heavily on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ throughout the week as I am still going through a very tough period in my life right now.I am still in a very difficult emotional period and I need all the help that I can get from my Heavenly Father,his son Jesus Christ and from all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts.Please continue to pray for me as I am still going through some very difficult emotional issues right now.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayers and positive verbal encouragement from all of you.Don't be shy.If you visit or have come to my blog in curiosity,please leave me some positive words of encouragement.They both help keep me going.They really help in a lot of ways.Thanks to all of you for your positive words of encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,since I kept busy throughout the day,I had really no problems in that area today.But still,keep up your prayers for me and your positive verbal encouragement.I need both of these things in more ways than one.I will also keep up in prayer to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ as well.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,though I am still feeling down.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up real quickly and I headed over to the church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.For a change of pace,the pastor had us open up a copy of the Holy Bible and have us read a verse or two from the Gospel of Luke chapter 16.It is what the pastor based his sermon on and it was great.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and I relaxed while doing my personal PC work.After that was done,I headed over to a friend's house for dinner as I really needed the company.
The dinner was wonderful.After we talked for a while,I left and headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my clothes and into pajamas as I was staying home for the rest of the evening.I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still feeling down as a result of the one year anniversary of my mother's death yesterday.The depression that I felt transferred over to today.I am still feeling pretty down about my mom being gone.Though it has been a year since her death,I am still feeling the affects.I know that I will never stop missing her,but her death is still as fresh a year later as it was when it initially happened.I guess that it will always be that way,though I wish that it didn't have to be.I am simply hoping that the depression will pass soon and I can get back to my life.I am still going to continue living and try to enjoy my life while I still have it,which is something that my mother would want me to do.She would want me to simply continue living my life and move on,which I am doing,though I still feel my mother's absence.I have taken my medication at the time that I am supposed to take it and within a few hours,it will be kicking in and I will be feeling tired enough to go to bed and go to sleep.I am also hoping that I will sleep better tonight as I had a tough time sleeping last night as a result of it being one year that my mom died.I am also going to continue my therapy.This week,I am going to have to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ to help get me through this week.I am also having to rely on them to get me out of the depression that I am feeling right now.I know that I will get out of this soon.I still hate it that I am in it,though I do know that I can help feeling the way that I feel right now.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I will start talking about them when I am feeling better.Since I kept busy today,I had no problems with being tempted,but I know that there is the new week ahead.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me as I still need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as I still need your words of encouragement.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayers and encouraging verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of turning in cans and bottles at a local supermarket and picking up a prescription refill of my psychiatric medication,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits and that I feel better within the coming new week.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I watched a little TV and did my personal PC work.I also did a little bot of cleaning up around the house.
Today,I was at home much of the time as a result of it being a wet and rainy day.I also wasn't feeling too well as today marks it one year that my mom passed away.I was feeling a little depressed today as a result of this being the one year anniversary of her death.I am still adjusting to the loss and her absence.I also still find it hard to believe that she is no longer here.I miss her and I know that I always will.I am still feeling lonely as a result of her not being here.It was great to have her around as I had someone to talk to,but now,I am feeling alone and depressed as today,it is the one year anniversary of her death.
I tried to cope and move on with the day the nest way that I know how.I simply cleaned up here and there around the house.After that was done,I popped a video tape in the VHS part of my VCR/DVD combo and relaxed.
After my evening meal,I watched some more TV and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,for strength to help me endure through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with on a day to day basis.As a result of my prayers,I feel much calmer and more sustained.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation this morning by masturbating and there was lusting and fantasizing with other men involved with this as well.I really felt miserable and terrible after giving into this temptation and sinning.I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ for sinning.After my prayer,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that my Heavenly Father wiped the slate clean.I really hate that I am struggling with this terrible SSA and most of the time,I wished that I didn't struggle with it.I wished that I felt like a man.I mean,I wish that I can feel the way that a man is supposed to feel.Instead,as a result of my SSA struggles,I feel the opposite way.I am in really desperate need of prayers today.I am still going through a very rough and difficult emotional time and since this is the one year anniversary of my mother's death,it is actually getting worse as a result of that.I am feeling depressed and I am still feeling the absence of her and that is making my SSA struggles really difficult for me.Please pray for me and also,I would really appreciate some very encouraging and heartfelt words in the comments section.I need both very desperately.Please pray for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Both your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement do help out a lot and they both also mean a lot to me.Please pray for me and don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have church as usual.I am also invited out to dinner tomorrow at a friend's house and I am looking forward to that.I will also be relaxing and taking it easy when I get home afterwards.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ

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Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned for today.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,which went as well as planned.After that group was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch.After having lunch,I headed out to do a few errands.After that errands were done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mind was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did some more personal PC work and I got dressed up in dress clothes as I had a job interview that I had to go to.
I think that the interview went well and after it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my casual clothes and headed out to run a few more errands.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and heated up my evening meal and did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I have.They both hope in sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate during the wee early morning hours came at me when I was awakened by yet another erection.I headed for the bathroom as I had to use it real bad.As I headed for there,my genitals started to soft and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft.I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted,though minimally,throughout the day as sexual images of men did cloud my mind.I stayed out for much of the day running my errands and concentrating on my job interview and that took my mind off of sexual stuff with men.I kept busy and that helped in more ways than one.Though I escaped today unscathed,I am still asking for prayers by all of my followers as I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also need some encouraging word in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments of any kind.Please leave me some positive verbal encouragement.They,your prayers and verbal encouragement,both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They help strengthen both my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Please pray for me and share some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section as I really need both of these things.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a job interview in the early afternoon,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda for today.
I was out for much of the day running errands and seeing that much personal stuff was getting done.I went to a couple of stores to pick up a few things that were needed and after that was done,I paid a friend a visit and talked with them for a while.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I dripped off a few newspapers at a few people's houses and at one of them,I had a talk with the guy who lived there,another friend,as he was taking out his trash,which I helped him with.After talking with him,I finished the job of dropping off the newspapers and headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed and did a little more personal PC work.
After eating,I popped a movie in the DVD player and I watched it for a while.After that,I simply relaxed for the rest of the evening and took it easy.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,for strength to help me endure through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in keeping me sustained and on a much calmer level plain.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and I got out of bed and headed for there.That made the erection start to soften.When I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.Only this time,since I was out in the community,it really wasn't that bad.I stayed out and about and I kept busy.This kept my mind off of anything sexual with other men and kept me occupied.It took my mind off of sexual stuff with other men and that was good.Though I escaped unscathed,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog to please continue in prayer for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Please continue praying for me.I also ask that none of you be shy and please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.You may not realize this,but your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They both help strengthen both my motivation to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and a scheduled job interview,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work real quickly and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.Before I set out to do what I had to do,I got a phone call for a job interview at a local department store for Friday afternoon.After that,I headed out to do what I had to do.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up a box of cereal.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a gallon of milk.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the milk in the fridge and the box of cereal in the cupboard.After that,I went back online to make a list of places that I applied to for a job to share with my new job placement counselor so I could call her and leave a message on her voice-mail.After that,I just took it easy for a while and watched a movie or two.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.Lately,as a result of my job search and getting the same cold reception,which is getting interviews with nobody hiring me to give me a chance,I have been on a down spiral as my self confidence and self esteem are getting lower.Though I am still putting the applications in for work online and on paper,my confidence is still getting low and I am hoping that my latest interview will lead to me being hired.I really want to work and I also like to work.My schizophrenic tendencies are also contributing to this making my BPD struggles even more difficult and also,making my SSA issues going from bad to worse.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask my Heavenly Father,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help me endure through the negative affects of this particular struggle that I have,which is a difficult psychiatric double whammy.I pray for the strength to get me through.They both help in sustaining me and also,keeping me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am getting tempted to indulge in same sex fantasies and lusting after other men.I was also tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when yet another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I had to really get up out of bed and walked around nervously as this current erection was a throbbing one indeed.I headed for the bathroom as I had to use it and that made this throbbing erection soften.When I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex sexual fantasies and lusting after other men.I stayed out in the community for much of the day shopping and just staying busy with what I had to do.It kept my mind off of all things sexual.I didn't have much at all today as I went through the day.While I went through the well enough,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through a very difficult emotional time right now.Please continue praying for me.Please also leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your positive words of encouragement.They do both help in many positive ways.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also both help strengthen my motivation to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and my motivation to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I connected with this terrible SSA.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as I really need some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the last morning and I showered quickly.I was hoping to wake up earlier in the day,but wound up oversleeping as a result of me having a difficult time trying to get to sleep last night.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did only a small portion of my personal PC work and after that,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
For much of the day,I had a terrible screeching headache.I had to take two headache powders to get rid of the pounding.As a result of that,I took in too much caffeine and I wound up urinating through the early afternoon.
Today,I had an appointment with the nurse practitioner and I headed for her office at the local hospital.
The session with her went well.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a lounge suit and I finished my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched an episode of a classic TV show on one of my DVD sets.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles,alongside my SSA struggles,even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help me endure through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in sustaining me and they help keep me on a much calmer level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I sat up and I sensed that I had to use the bathroom.I headed for the bathroom and that made my genitals soften.When I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in sexual fantasies and lusting after other men.The urges were really overwhelming.I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer.I asked him for strength to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges.I asked him for the strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed and prayed real hard.I felt much stronger after praying as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave what I had asked for.I am again asking all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me.I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also need some positive verbal encouragement as well.Please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.They both help out in a lot of ways.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help strengthen both my determination to continue overcoming SSA and my motivation to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with the members,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes.I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I headed out to do a few personal stuff that I needed to do.
I spent out much of the day just getting things that I needed to get done accomplished.After it was all done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got into a lounge suit and watched a couple of movies that I popped into the DVD player.I also had dinner while watching one of them.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help me endure through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I have.I ask for strength and for help to get through it all.I feel more sustained and much calmer and level.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection,though it didn't last long.I had to use the bathroom,so I got out of bed and headed for the bathroom.My genitals were fully soft when I was finished and after that,I went back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted minimally throughout the day to indulge in sexual fantasies and lusting after other men.I stayed out for much of the day and kept my mind on what I was doing out in the community.It took my mind off of everything sexual and it was good.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up in prayer for me while I am going through this very difficult emotional time.I desperately need all the prayerful support that I can get from all of you.I also ask that you please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support.Prayers and encouraging verbal support do work in many ways and they give positive benefits.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They both help strengthen both my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and continued positive emotional encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my appointment with the nurse practitioner at the local hospital,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ