Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I washed my hair and face quickly as well as shaved quickly.I got dressed up in dress clothes and headed over to the job placement agency to sign a few more job applications and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and I showered quickly.After my shower,I got dressed in casual clothes and had my usual quick breakfast.I also quickly did my personal PC work and headed out one more time to pay a visit to the priest in hopes of getting into a Courage group.
The meeting with the priest went well.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby small restaurant to have a light lunch.After that,I stopped at an AMVETS store in the area and I bought a few things.After that,I stopped at a 7-11 to buy a bottle of water to drink while driving home.After that,when I made it back into my hometown,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a couple more things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I took the mail in and I also brought the stuff that I bought into the house.After that,I decided to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I dressed up in dress clothes and I dropped off one more application at a local Wendy's.I headed straight home to change into casual clothes and headed for my weekly Celebrate Recovery group,which went wonderfully.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into night clothes and did some personal PC work.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,it was a very good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult of the two.Today,I was again tempted to fantasize and lust after other men and to also manipulate my genitals to the lusting after other men.I again went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard for that strength and I didn't cease praying until the terrible temptations died.When I was finished,I felt better and much stronger and had no problems for the rest of the day with temptations.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.I need to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any time to tempt me to sin against my Heavenly Father.I don't want to sin against my Heavenly Father.I also have to continue working on telling the unnatural desires that I have that I own them and that they don't own me.I also need to show my gender identity that I own my identity and that it also doesn't own me.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue praying for me and also,please don't be afraid to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need some positive verbal support alongside the prayerful support every day.They both help in a lot of ways.They both help keep me going.They both reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular fight and struggle.They also help keep my determination to overcome and my motivation to heal strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and again,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to a Men's Network group in the morning,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the start of the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work and when I was finished with that,I headed out to run a few errands that needed to be run.I got some gas in my gas tank and dropped off some newspapers.I also bought something from a local Dollar Tree store.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I headed over to my niece's house to babysit her kids and later on,I dropped my youngest grand-niece off at her dance lesson before heading straight home.
When I got home,I ate a light dinner and I headed over to my Thursday evening Holy Bible study group,which was as wonderful as I expected it.After it was over,I headed straight home and when I got home,I prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I was tempted to act out by fantasies and lusting after other men and to also manipulate my genitals to the images of men that were clouding my mind.But,I managed to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask him for strength to help me fight and resist the overwhelming urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed and I prayed for the strength because I didn't want to sin against my Heavenly Father by giving into these terrible temptations.I didn't cease praying until the overwhelming urges had dissipated.I felt better and much stronger after praying and I went on with the rest of the day unscathed.I simply kept busy by doing what I had to do and that kept my mind off of the immoral things.There was nothing that went through my head the whole day and I wasn't tempted to give into anything.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.I have to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any time with temptations.I need to be watchful as they can strike at any time.I don't want to give them what they want,which is to make me sin by acting out on these unnatural desires that I have and that would be sinful.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue in prayer for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal support.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day.Your prayers and your positive verbal support does help.They reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular fight and struggle.They also help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't hesitate to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to the agency to sign some more job applications and a session that I have with the priest,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work.After that,I went out to go to a local 7-Eleven to pick up a bag of nacho cheese Doritos to have with my lunch.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I heated up my lunch in the microwave and I ate it.After that,I did a little bit more personal PC work.I then eagerly awaited a phone call from an out of state SSA counselor as I had a lot to talk about with him.
The phone session with the SSA counselor went wonderfully.After it was over,I headed back out to get a gallon of milk at the local Super Wal-Mart.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the milk away and I relaxed while reading.
After eating,I did a little bit more personal PC work and prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,it was a pretty fair day as I was home for much of the day due to rainy weather for the second day in a row,though I managed to get a couple of needed things.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer when I was getting tempted to fantasize and lust after other men and to also manipulate my genitals to these images.I prayed for strength to fight and resist these urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and asked for that strength because I didn't want to sin again nor did I want to enslaved to this particular sin.I kept asking for that strength and didn't cease praying until the urges had died down.When I was finished praying,I felt better and much stronger.I also knew and truly believed that I received what I asked for from my Heavenly Father.I felt stronger and it was great.I went on with the rest of the day without any problems.Though I did escape today,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Not that I am worried about tomorrow,I simply need to continued staying on guard and being watchful as these temptations,which Satan and his minions cause,can come when least expected.Fellow blog followers,I still need you to continue keeping me in your prayers and also,I still need your positive verbal support in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left in the comments section.I really need both your prayerful and positive verbal support.They both help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination to overcome and motivation to heal strong.The positive verbal support also reassures and reaffirms me that I am not along in this particular fight and struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday evening study group,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work and had a light lunch afterwards.I was home for much of the day as a result of rainy weather that was happening for much of the day today.Later on,I went out to run a small errand to go to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something that I needed.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put what I bought away and I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to relax for a while and I did some more personal PC work.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I did manage to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I gave into temptation looking at a couple of porn videos online.Yes,I admit it.I gave into watching pornography.For much of the day,my conscience was really getting on me for watching these videos and later on,after my small errand was finished,I went into my room and I prayed real hard to my Heavenly Father.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him by giving into the temptation to watch porn online and I left nothing out.I prayed and I prayed.I asked for my Heavenly Father's mercy while praying and I also asked that he help me to break free from both the sexual sins,but also,the sin of getting caught up in anger as I was angry with myself for watching the pornography in the first place.I prayed and I prayed.I also ordered Satan and his minions to hit the road and get out of here and to take their baggage with them.I shouted that out to them while praying and it felt good to do that.I also asked that my Heavenly Father also help me in overcoming and healing from SSA as I really want to overcome and heal from this terrible emotional condition.I also asked that he help me to not only break free,but to also stay free from fantasizing and lusting after other men and to also help me to break free and to stay free from manipulating my genitals to these unwholesome images.While praying,my eyes were starting to tear as a result.When I was finished praying,I felt better and felt that a huge gigantic weight had been lifted off of me.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to pray for me and please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need some positive verbal support alongside the prayerful support.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both prayers and positive verbal support.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help keep both my determination to overcome and motivation to heal stronger.They also reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of talking with someone on the phone in hoping to get some help and support for my SSA struggles,I haven't got much planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and when I was done with that,I headed out to with draw a little bit of money from my account at the bank and I did a little shopping at a local and nearby Dollar Tree store.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did some more personal PC work.I also relaxed for a while and enjoyed a little bit of music.
After eating,I decided to do a little bit more personal PC work and later on,I decided to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I didn't have any problems with temptation.I had no problems with anything sexual in regards to men clouding my mind and that made me feel pretty good.I went through the day without any problems and that was okay.Though I did escape today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.I have to continue to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any time.They can tempt me to act out by fantasies and lusting after other men and also,they can tempt me to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men that they make to cloud my mind.Again,I need to stay on guard and be watchful of the machinations of Satan and his minions.They can try to make me do anything that is contradictory to the word of my Heavenly Father,which is the Holy Bible and is also his perfect law.I have to continue to work on being tough with myself and to show the unnatural desires that I have and my own gender identity that I own them and not the other way around.I don't want to be enslaved to the unnatural desires that I have as I refuse to let these unnatural desires that I have define who I am nor dictate to me how I will act.I also refuse to let my gender identity own me as masturbation,which is one of my problems alongside genital manipulation,is simply when one is enslaved to their own gender identity/sexuality.I have to work on being tough with myself and also,show these unnatural desires and my gender identity/sexuality that I own them and not them owning me.Fellow blog followers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need positive verbal support each and every day alongside the continued prayers.I need to be reaffirmed that I am not alone in this particular struggle because I feel alone when visitors and/or curiosity seekers don't leave me any encouraging comments in the comments section.I need positive verbal support as much as I need prayerful support.They both help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination to overcome and motivation to heal strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done with that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit real quickly and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.We had a substitute pastor giving the sermon today and I had a wonderful conversation with him once the service was over,though I also had some wonderful fellowship with my other fellow worshipers as well.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I had a quick lunch.After that,I did my personal PC work and when that was done,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I decided to do a little bit more personal PC work and after that,I watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.Later on,I decided to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I gave into temptation yet again by masturbating upon awakening.I washed my hands afterwards and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed and I prayed and I left nothing out.When I was finished,I felt better as I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven and I also asked my Heavenly Father to help me in forgiving myself for falling short.For the rest of the day,I had no problems.I still need to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any time with their ways of tempting anyone to sin against the sovereign Lord and creator of all things,our Heavenly Father.I still need to work on getting tough with myself by asking for strength to fight and resist these terrible urges from my Heavenly Father.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive encouraging words in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately and right now.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left in the comments section when they do visit.Please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section alongside your prayers.They both help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two while also continuing to keep me in your prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I got dressed and quickly did my personal PC work and when I was finished with that,I relaxed and watched a little TV for a while.
I didn't have too much on my agenda for today.I did get out for a bit.I first went over to my sister's house to pick up a bag of empty bottles and after that,I stopped at the local Salvation Army thrift store and I managed to score a CD of Christian music.After paying for it,I headed over to a local supermarket to turn in the bottles and after getting the money from them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I started to prepare my evening meal and I did some more personal PC work,including registering all the money that I got from turning the bottles in at the local supermarket.
After eating,I decided to watch an education video online on YouTube and after that was finished,I relaxed and did some more personal PC work.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I really had no problems with SSA.Today,I had no sexual images of men cloud my mind and that was a relief for me.I went through the day and nothing negative happened.I really don't know why this didn't happen today,but I am grateful that I didn't have any troubles.Though I did escape today unscathed,there is still tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.It is not that I am worried about tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.It is just that I have to keep in mind that Satan and his minions can strike when least expected.They are out there and they can tempt anyone to go against the sovereign Lord and creator and his perfect law in regards to sexuality.I have to continue to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions are out there waiting to get anyone who worships the the sovereign Lord and creator of all things.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave some positive verbal support.I need both types of support each and every day.They both help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and my motivation strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I wok up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I quickly showered to clean up and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.When I was finished with breakfast,I quickly got dressed up in dress clothes and I headed over to the job placement agency to put my signature on a few more applications that they filled out on my behalf.After that was done,I headed straight home to change into casual clothes and I headed for a local kitchen to have lunch and when I was finished with that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed for a bit and took it easy.
After eating,I decided to attend my usual Friday night Celebrate Recovery group,which went as wonderful as expected.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my bed clothes and proceeded to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I once again gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and that led to fantasies and lusting after them and I wound up ejaculating.I felt really miserable and after washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father and asked him to forgive me for falling into sin in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin and left nothing out as I prayed.When I was finished,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I went on with the rest of the day.I know that I have said this before,but I really need to get really tough on myself.I have to stop this constant habit of continuing to fall into the same old sin and asking for forgiveness.I feel that I am abusing the divine gift of forgiveness every time I continuously give into the same old sin.I need to work on changing my mental pattern whenever this particular thing comes around.I need to learn how to say to myself "STOP!" and "NO!" whenever these particular urges come around.I am struggling everyday with this terrible SSA condition and it seems to get worse instead of better for me.I don't want to go back to that terribly sinful and destructive sexual lifestyle known as the so called "Gay" lifestyle as it isn't what my Heavenly Father intended.He also never intended for sexuality to be used and abused the way that the world is using and abusing it at this moment.I need to keep those things continually in mind.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers as I am really going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that you leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need some positive verbal support right now alongside the prayerful support.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be afraid to leave me some positive verbal support.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately and everyday.They both help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.The verbal support,in itself,reaffirms me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual on Sunday,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the upcoming weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I headed out to run some necessary errands.
I first stopped at a local kitchen to have lunch.After that,I got some gas at a local gas station and after that,I stopped at a local close out store to pick up a couple of things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed for a bit.
After eating,I decided to attend my usual Thursday night study group,which was wonderful.I headed straight home when it was over and when I got home,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I did give into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and there was fantasizing and lusting involved in this also.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself and ask my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin and again,asked for forgiveness.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out as I prayed.When I was finished,I felt much better as I truly believed that I was forgiven for my sins.The thing is that I still have to work on getting tough with myself because I don't want the unnatural sexual desires that I have to own me.I want to own them and not the other way around.At times,I really hate that I struggle with SSA because each and every day,the struggle gets even more difficult.I am always putting up with these unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.The thing with SSA is that it does nothing to enhance the lives of people.The only thing that SSA does is work to destroy lives rather than enhance them.The sinful sexual lifestyle connected with Homosexuality/SSA is a destructive lifestyle where the only thing that the vast majority of people who have it and act out is a life of never ending sexual promiscuity,which can lead to the killer disease AIDS.AIDS is something that I don't want at all as it kills people.There is also no cure right now.I left that lifestyle a little over a decade ago and I want no part of it anymore.Because the sexual activity associated with that destructive lifestyle is sinful,unclean,impure,obscene and downright wrong.The Holy Bible,in it's own words,says so in regards to this.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to pray for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both of these types of support real badly.It is just that I don't have many support groups in my hometown that help men who struggle with SSA such as myself.I need both of these types of support to reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to the job placement agency to sign some job applications and attending my usual Celebrate Recovery group,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I quickly showered and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I headed out to run a couple of errands.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up some orange juice and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a gallon of milk and other things.After paying for these things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought in their proper places and I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player and when that was over,I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I had really no problems with temptation today.No sexual images of men clouded my mind today as I went through the day without anything negative coming across.I only did a few things today while out in the community and this did help in keeping my mind focused on what I had to get done.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.It is not that I'm worried about tomorrow,it is just that I have to stay alert and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any minute.I have to stand on guard and be watchful as they can strike when least expected.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be afraid to leave me an encouraging word or two for in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support daily and desperately.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.Please leave me an encouraging word in the comments section.Please continue praying for me as well.Both of these types of support help keep me going.They also reaffirm that I am not alone.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda for today.The main thing was that I went to see a movie at a locally owned movie theater and I really enjoyed it.After the movie was over,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things for dinner.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I quickly registered a whole bunch of dollar bills at the Where's George site and when I was finished doing that,I headed for the drug store to pick up two prescriptions and after paying the co-pay on them,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up one more thing and after paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I fixed me a light dinner and after eating that,I decided to do some more personal PC work and later on in the evening,I decided to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today upon arising,for the second consecutive time,I gave into the temptation to fantasize and lust after other men when sexual images of men clouded my mind and I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitalia to these images,where I wound up ejaculating.This really made me feel terrible.I really felt that I failed my Heavenly Father after this second consecutive fall.After washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer.I asked him for forgiveness and to show me mercy in the name of his son Jesus Christ because I really felt terrible after this second consecutive fall into sin.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out and when I was finished,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I went on with the rest of the day without problems.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that you don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support real bad and desperately.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I would really appreciate some positive verbal encouragement to help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and I would also appreciate your continued prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly before getting dressed and having my usual quick breakfast.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work and I proceeded with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of errands to run today.I first went to a local supermarket to turn in some empty cans that my niece gave me yesterday and I went straight home to register the bills.I left the house again to get a little bit of gas with the money that I had gotten from turning in the cans.I headed back to the same local supermarket to see if they had what I was looking for.When they didn't,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up what I was looking for since I saw that they had it there.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while as I was waiting for my evening meal to get done.
After eating,I decided to do some more personal PC work and after that,I relaxed while preparing for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,upon arising,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals while fantasizing and lusting after other men when sexual images of men clouded my mind and this time,the experience ended in ejaculation.I really felt very miserable after this current fall into sin and after washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer to ask to be forgiven for my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ.In my prayer,I accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin and I asked that I be forgiven for my sins.I prayed real hard and when I was finished praying,I felt better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.The SSA struggle is a very difficult struggle indeed.I am learning this day after day.I get tempted to act out day in and day out.Most of the time,I get tempted to fantasize and lust after other men and yes,there are times that I get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that temptation comes around,I simply and willfully choose to stay home rather than give into that particular temptation because I still have to continually keep in mind that acting out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have will never give me what I truly need and want,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feelings of authenticity that go with that gender identity affirmation.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both your prayerful and positive verbal support.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to see a movie in the early afternoon,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and got dressed up in a suit.I headed out the door for church for the Easter breakfast and the worship service afterwards.
The whole Easter Sunday morning in church was wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers after the worship service ended,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed from my suit into my casual clothes and I headed to my niece's house for dinner.
The dinner at my niece's house was great.After that,I headed over to the birthday party that I was invited to,but when I got there,the person who was throwing it had to head out to her daughter's place.She gave me a piece of cake to go and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the cake piece in the refrigerator and I did my personal PC work and it was a lot to do.After that was done,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and watch it.After that,I did a little bit of reading and started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Although it is the most difficult of the two for me,I had no problems today with it.I had no temptations to act out by fantasies or lusting and no sexual images of men clouded my mind.I simply kept busy with what I had to do today and it was great.I kept busy by pursuing my spirituality on this,the most important Sunday of the year by going to church and having a share in everything connected with it.I also had some fun at my niece's house and though I didn't stay very long,I had a good time simply visiting with someone that I hadn't seen in a long time.I must say that staying busy took my mind off of anything sexual with other men.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers and readers,I still need y'all to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support.They both help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.They also reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and when I was finished,I headed out to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for them,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at an estate sale in my hometown to see what they had for sale and since I found nothing that interested me,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put everything that I bought away and I relaxed while watching the rest of a movie that I started watching last night before going to church for the Good Friday service.After that was over,I did some more personal PC work and did some dishes that needed to be done.
After eating,I decided to type up some e-mails that I have been delaying for some time.After that was done,I prepared for my evening retirement as I had to get to bed early so I could get up early for the Easter Sunday church activities.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I fell twice to this terrible thing in the forms of temptations to act out by fantasies and lusting after other men when sexual images of men clouded my mind while I was still in bed and upon arising.I also manipulated my genitals to these images and stopped when orgasm was approaching.I really felt miserable after I fell and on both occurrences,I went to my Heavenly Father and asked for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.During prayer for the second occurrence,I asked that my Heavenly Father help me find my gender insecurities.I don't know what they could be and I asked him to reveal them to me.At the moment,I still don't know what they could be,but I am am going to ask those that I know who are Christians to see what they say.I have a habit of doing this to myself and I really don't know why.I am hoping to maybe get some help to see what could be causing me to do this to myself.I am hoping that the e-mails that I sent to fellow Christians can help me.I need to know what could be causing me to habitually manipulate my private parts to these images of men clouding my mind.I also need to know how I can get rid of these unwholesome and degrading images when they come to mind.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to pray for me.I really need your prayers right now.I also need some positive verbal encouragement right now in the comments section.I need both of these types of support to keep me going.I also need then both to keep my determination and motivation strong.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left by anyone.Please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section as well.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continues positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,it will be a busy Sunday for me.I am going to go to church for the Easter Sunday activities and after that,I will be going to my niece's house for breakfast.After that,I will also be going over to a birthday party for someone that I haven't seen in quite a while.After these things are over,I haven't gotten anything else on my agenda for tomorrow,so I think that this will all be it.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the Easter Sunday holiday ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished cleaning up,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and quickly did my personal PC work.After that,I headed out to run a few errands.
I first went to the bank to withdraw a little bit of money.After that,I picked up a lunch at the local Taco Bell.After that,I went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things for dinner.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watch some of a movie while I had my lunch.After watching the movie for a while,I had dinner and when I was finished with that,I got dressed up in dress clothes and headed for church to attend the Good Friday service.
The service was wonderful.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into my night clothes and watched the rest of the first part of a two part movie.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I wasn't tempted to act out by fantasies and lusting and that was great.I simply kept busy doing what I had to do and that took my mind off of anything sexual.I simply ran the errands and simply took the time to get them done.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day as well as desperately.I am all alone in my SSA struggles in my hometown as there are no support groups themed to help men who struggle with SSA such as myself and I wish that there were.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.They both help keep me going.They also keep both my determination and motivation strong.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need encouraging words as much as I need prayers.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the upcoming Easter holiday weekend,I have plans to go to church on Sunday,to go have dinner at my niece's house also on Sunday and to attend a birthday party for someone that I haven't seen in years also on Sunday.It will be an eventful Sunday for me.On Saturday,I will simply stay home and take it easy,but I will go out only if I have to.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the upcoming Easter holiday weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.I showered after having my coffee and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I when that was done,I headed out to run a small errand.I went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a small necessity that I needed and after getting some gas,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I quickly did some more personal PC work and after having a light dinner,I dressed up in dress clothes and I headed over to church for the Maundy Thursday church service.
The church service was wonderful.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and into my night clothes.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult for me.Today,upon arising,I gave into temptation yet again.This time,it was more for emotional reasons rather than sexual.I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting then near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.Though the reasons this time were emotional,it still didn't make it right for me to do.It is still an unclean habit to do and I have to continually keep that in mind because I can't indulge in uncleanness and impurity while being a Christian.Don't get me wrong,I know that I am imperfect and I will fall short from time to time,but I can't let my sexuality own me.I have to work on owning my sexuality rather than let my sexuality own me.When a person lets something own them,that person is a slave to that something that owns them.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my fall into sin as each and every one of us is responsible for their own actions and must own up to that.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out and when I was finished praying,I felt better as I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.I did manage to get through the rest of the day unscathed,but there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave comments of any kind.I need positive verbal support as much as I need prayerful support.Please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need positive verbal support to help keep me going.I also need it to reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle and most importantly,to help keep my motivation and determination strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of the Good Friday evening church service,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done cleaning up,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work and when I was done with that,I headed out to turn in a job application in the next county and when I dropped it off,I headed for a Salvation Army thrift store in the area and when I was finished there,I headed for a Goodwill store within the area and when I was finished there,I decided to stop by a Best Buy store in the area and pay a bill.After that,I headed for home and it was a long drive.
On the way home,when I got back into my hometown,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to do a little bit more personal PC work and I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today upon arising,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind causing to fantasize and lust after men.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my falling into sin.I asked for this in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling short of his law.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out.I admitted to my Heavenly Father everything that I did when I fell short and when I was finished,I felt better knowing that I was truly forgiven.Though I escaped unscathed for the rest of the day as a result of me doing what I had to do and also the fun things that I did after that,I have to keep in mind that there is always tomorrow and the days after that.I have to stand my guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike when least expected.I need to really work on asking my Heavenly Father for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these terrible temptations come around.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue praying for me as I am going through a very difficult emotional time.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support because I don't have much support around here as a result of a lack of programs that help men like me.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section and again,please continue to keep me in your prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of the Maundy Thursday evening service at my church,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I went into the shower and I cleaned myself up.After I was done,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work.After that was done,I had lunch and I popped a movie into the DVD player and watched it.Since today was chilly,windy and a little snowy,I chose to stay home and take it easy.There really wasn't much going on today as a result of the weather,so I felt that it would be best if I stayed home and took it easy.It was great that I got to relax for a while and watch a movie.After the movie was over,I did some more personal PC work.
During much of this,I received a couple of phone calls,one from my new vocational rehabilitation counselor and one from another counselor from the job placement agency.I am hoping to hear from at least one place where I dropped applications off at.I went on with the rest of the rest of the day.
After eating,I decided to do some praying that I had been putting off.I had to talk again with my Heavenly Father and tell him some things.I had a lot to get off of my chest and I needed to do it right then and at that time.I relaxed and did some more personal PC work after that.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult of the two.Today,I can report that I wasn't tempted to do anything sinful in a sexual sense.I had no problems with sexual images of men clouding my mind nor did I have any temptations to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping to these images.I had no temptations to fantasize and lust after other men.This was great that I had no problems nor temptations to do anything of that sort.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.It is not that I am worried about it or anything,It is just that I had to stand my ground and be ready for when these terrible temptations come around.I had to be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any minute when least expected.I have to remember that Satan and his minions are out there waiting to turn me against the truth of the Holy Bible and my Heavenly Father's original provisions for sexuality.Again,I have to stand up and be watchful of these things.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support to help keep me going.I also need both of these types of supports to keep my determination and motivation strong.They also reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of hoping to place another job application somewhere tomorrow,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving unabated.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and quickly did my personal PC work.After that,I was hoping to get out to turn in another job application that I filled out and maybe hit a thrift store in the area that I was going to drop it off,a huge rain and wind storm kept me close to home.I first stopped at a local gas station to get some gas.after getting gas,I simply went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed.After that,I headed to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple more things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff away and I did more personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and popped a movie into the DVD player and I watched it.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to watch an episode of a classic TV show that I had on DVD and I later did some more personal PC work.I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving unabated,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men that were clouding my mind and yes,there was fantasy and lusting involved and I would also masturbate the rest of the way when I approached orgasm.I really felt miserable and downcast as this happened.After washing my hands,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father and asked him for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed hard and left nothing out.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my fall into sin today while praying to my Heavenly Father for forgiveness.I prayed and I prayed and when I was finished,I felt better and knew and believed that I was truly forgiven.I went on with the rest of the day.Fellow blog followers and readers,I am again asking that y'all continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support from all of you.I have fallen three times too many over the past few days and I have felt miserable and downcast as a result of my falls.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both your prayerful and positive verbal support.They both help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.They also reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.I also need both of these supports because I am still going through a very difficult emotional time at the moment.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans as my area is going to get more windy and rainy weather.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I hit the shower to clean up and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.I also did another reading from the Holy Bible in front of the congregation.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and changed into casual clothes.After that,I had a light lunch and headed back out to turn in some empty cans and bottles at a local supermarket.After that,I headed to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up some necessary things and after that,I headed over to another local supermarket to pick up a can of naturally decaffeinated iced tea mix.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.I also watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player while relaxing.
After eating,I decided to fill out another job application and I did some more personal PC work.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two.Today,I had no problems with temptations.I wasn't tempted to act out by fantasies nor lusting after other men and to manipulate my genitals to any sexual images of men.I guess that staying busy with what I had to do today kept my mind off of anything sexual with other men.It was wonderful not to deal with temptation today.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Fellow blog followers and readers,though I did escape today unscathed,I am still asking that y'all continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left in the comment section.I really need some positive verbal support alongside the prayerful support.These types of support do help keep me going and they also keep both my determination and motivation strong.It also reaffirms me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of turning in that job application,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ