Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I did my personal PC work and I simply relaxed for much of the day as I had nothing to do nor anyplace to go due to the reality that my car is out of commission right now.
For the day,I relaxed and spent a lot of time online.I also watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.After that was over,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and I relaxed for the rest of the evening.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,though I am still feeling guilty about this,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals and yes,sexual images of men did cloud my mind and alongside the genital manipulation,I gave into fantasizing and lusting after other men and when I was at the point of orgasm,I masturbated the rest of the way.I really felt miserable after this and I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I asked him to forgive me for sinning in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my fall and I told my Heavenly Father everything and I left nothing out.I prayed for a while and when I was finished,I felt much better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.After that,I had some rough going for the rest of the day.The rough thing was that my mind was being pelted with sexual images of men.I also had temptations to act out again by fantasies and lusting after these sexual images of men.I didn't want to give in again and later this afternoon,acting on the advice of the former pastor who visited me two days ago,I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and told him about the temptations that were getting thrown at me.I told my Heavenly Father that I didn't want to give into any temptations and that I hated that I was getting pelted again by sexual images of men.I also said that I hated that I was still finding men sexually attractive and that I hated everything connected to Homosexuality/SSA in general.I also asked my Heavenly Father what was holding me back from becoming the man that he wants me and intends me to be,as well as the man that he wants me to be.I asked him that as tears were starting to come down my eyes.I really don't know how my Heavenly Father will answer that.I really have no idea on how he communicates with us through prayer when we ask him something.If anyone has any ideas,please share them with me in the comments section.I really need answers and I would appreciate some.Fellow blog followers and readers,while I would appreciate some answers to what I asked here,I am again asking that you continue to keep me in your prayers and and also,please leave me some positive verbal support.I would really appreciate some support right now because I am really going through some rough stuff right now with temptations to act out on the unnatural sexual desires that I have and I don't want to act out on them.Because acting out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have will never give me what I want and need,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the authenticity that goes with that affirmation.Please pray for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed for much of the day and listened to some music and I also watched some cartoons and music videos online.
For much of the day,since my car is out of commission,I simply relaxed and took it easy.I didn't watch any TV as there really wasn't anything on for me to watch.I just relaxed,watched some videos online and listened to some music.
Earlier today,I had heard from a friend and schoolmate that they would pick me up for tonight's study group.I told them that I would be available for the time to pick me up.After that,I relaxed a little bit more and just enjoyed the rest of the rest of the afternoon.
Later on in the day,I heard from the friend and schoolmate that the study group tonight was canceled as a result of her mother not feeling well.I told her to wish her mother get well wishes on my behalf and that was it.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and I relaxed for the rest of the evening.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult of the two for me.Today,upon getting out of bed,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals and yes,sexual images of men did cloud my mind.Fortunately for me,I stopped myself before it went too far and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed and I left nothing out.I told my Heavenly Father everything and when I was finished praying,I felt much better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.I went through the rest of the day with no problems,but I have to continue to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any minute.I don't want to give Satan and his minions what they want.I still need to work on being tough with myself.I also still need to work on showing these unnatural sexual desires that I have that I won then and not the other way around.I am really serious about wanting to heal from and overcome SSA.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to pray for me.I would also appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately and daily.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left in the comments section.I need positive verbal support as much as I need prayerful support.Prayers do work and yes,even positive verbal support works.The positive verbal support reaffirms and reassures me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Alongside the prayerful support,the positive verbal support help keeps me going and makes me more determined and motivated to continue in this process of healing and change.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had two cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished with my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and ready for a visit with a former pastor in regards to SSA.When he arrived,I let him in and he also had a friend with him who sat in on the conversation.
The conversation,which went for about 45 minutes,was wonderful.He supplied his e-mail address and we shook hands as they left.After they left,I did my personal PC work.After that was finished,I did some more work around the house that had to get done.After that was done,I relaxed for a while did some reading online.After doing some more personal PC work,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I relaxed and enjoyed some music.Later on,as the day wound down,I did some more personal PC work.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,as a result of the visit with the former pastor,I had no temptations to indulge in anything sinful in regards to acting out by fantasies and lusting.I still was tempted to look up some online porn,but instead chose to watch some music videos and cartoons online,which killed that particular temptation.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.I need to still stay on guard and be watchful.Satan and his minions can strike at any time and I have to be prepared when they do.When they do,I need to go to my Heavenly Father and ask for strength to help me fight and resist the temptation.I need to really work on this and show my Heavenly Father that I mean it when I say that I want to overcome and heal from this terrible SSA.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also need some positive verbal support in the comments section as well.I really need some support of both kinds as I really don't have much of a support network in my hometown.I need both your prayers and your positive verbal support.They both help keep me going.They also help keep me strong in terms of my determination and motivation.The positive verbal support also reaffirms and reassures me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would like for all of you who visit my blog regularly to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did some checking up online and after that,I decided to have my usual quick breakfast early.Before I showered,I did some more cleaning up around the house and when that was finished,I showered quickly.After my shower,I did my personal PC work and after that was finished,I decided to relax and take it easy for a while.Since my car is out of commission right now,I have nothing to do nor anyplace to go.
I simply spent most of my time online as I tried to keep myself busy by reading things online,such as news articles and Wikipedia pages.I also did a little bit more cleaning up around the house to keep myself busy.I am hoping that my car can get fixed soon as I really need it.After doing a little bit more of the cleaning,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to watch a DVD that I popped into the DVD player and I relaxed while watching it.I also did some more personal PC work.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,though it is,I had no problems with temptations today.It was a relief,but I still need to continue to stay on guard and be watchful.Satan and his minions can strike at any minute of any day.I want to show my Heavenly Father that I am serious about wanting to heal from and overcome SSA.I have to show the unnatural sexual desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.I need to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask in the name of his son Jesus Christ for the strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations.I want to avoid sinning against my Heavenly Father as much as possible.Fellow blog followers and readers,I would appreciate it if you would continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support real badly and desperately as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time with my car out of commission at the moment.I really need all the prayerful and positive verbal support that I can get.Your support in both of these areas do help me in a big way.They really do.They both help keep me going each and every day.They also show me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to pray for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a visit at my house by a former pastor who also has struggled with SSA in his own life,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was done with that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I had to make a couple of phone calls and I went and did my personal PC work.After that,I cleaned up around the house for a while and I relaxed for a bit.
Since I have no car at the moment,I have no place to go or anything to do.I simply stayed home and just caught up on some much needed work that had to be done.After that was done,I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to enjoy a little music and I also did some more personal PC work.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,though I am a little fearful and scared to admit this,I gave into temptation twice today.I gave into the temptations to fantasize and lust after other men and I also manipulate my genitals to these images and I finished by masturbating the rest of the way.On both of these occurrences,I prayed to my Heavenly Father and I asked for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.However,on the second occurrence,I also asked for my Heavenly Father to show his mercy as I sinned a second consecutive time and it was the same thing.I begged for his mercy in the name of his son Jesus Christ alongside asking for forgiveness.I prayed real hard on both of these occurrences and I left nothing out.I told my Heavenly Father everything and when I was finished the second time,I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that my Heavenly Father showed me his mercy when I asked for it regarding the second consecutive fall.I really need to start getting really tough on myself.I need to start making it a habit of going to my Heavenly Father daily and asking for strength to help me fight and resist whenever temptation rears it's ugly head on me.I can't let these unnatural sexual desires own me.I have to own them and not the other way around.I need to show my Heavenly Father that I am serious about wanting to heal from and overcome this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Instead of enhancing the lives of others,in particular,men,it only destroys and wrecks lives and leads people on the road to nowhere.I need all the help and support that I can get from my fellow blog followers and readers.Please continue to pray for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also need some positive verbal support in the comments section real bad.I get many visitors to my blog,but comments are rarely left in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support real badly and desperately.They both help keep me going,They also help reaffirm and reassure me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep me strong in terms of both my determination and motivation.Please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also ask that you leave some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful,exciting and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had a cup of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished showering,I had another cup of coffee and my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly got dressed up in a suit and I phoned my niece and she took me to church today so I could be there for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
It was an exciting day in church this morning as it was not only the day of Pentecost,but it was also Confirmation Sunday as six youngsters were confirmed today.I also did another Holy Bible reading in church in front of the congregation this morning and there was also Holy Communion.
The whole morning in church was wonderful.After it was over,I phoned my niece and she picked me up and we headed for home.
On the way home,we stopped at the local Sears so I could pay a bill there and after that,we went to a nearby supermarket to pick up a few things.After we were finished,we headed straight home.She dropped me off first and she headed for home.
When I got into the house,I got out of my suit and into a pair of shorts and started to do my personal PC work.Later on,as I was doing this,my niece came back over and she did my front lawn and when she was finished,she went back to her own house.I finished my personal PC work and I even had a talk with a former pastor who called me and we talked about struggles with SSA.We are hoping to meet this Tuesday and after we finished talking and hung up,I decided to do some cleaning up in the kitchen and after it was finished,I received another phone call from a friend who I have been reconnecting with through Facebook and we talked for a few minutes.After we hung up,I ate.
After eating,I decided to do some more personal PC work and relaxed for the rest of the evening.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful,exciting and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I was tempted to act out on the unnatural desires that I have and I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked for strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I was tempted to fantasize and lust after other men and I really needed my Heavenly Father to give me strength to help me fight and resist.I prayed and I prayed until the temptation was nil and when I was finished,I felt stronger as I truly believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.I went through the rest of the day with no problems,but stood on guard and continued to be watchful as Satan and his minions could strike again any minute.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I still need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day.I am still going through a very difficult emotional time and I need all the support that I can get.Your support helps keep me going.They also continue to reaffirm and reassure me that I am not alone in this struggle.They also help keep both my determination and my motivation strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I don't have much planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good start today,but fell apart in the mid afternoon.
The day started out promising.I got up in the early to mid morning and myself my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and after I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed real quickly and I headed for the Men's Network meeting,which would be the last until this coming September.The meeting was wonderful and after it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the public library to check up on some stuff in my e-mail and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I headed back into the house and did my personal PC work and even communicated with a few friends over on Facebook and even added a few more today.After that,I did some straightening up in my living room to make some room by sorting out some of my record albums.I am still working on it as I want the room to be a bit neater.After doing some of that work,I decided to head out to a charity spaghetti at the church where the Celebrate Recovery groups are held,but that is when things took a turn for the worse for me.
The problem started when I gently inserted the screwdriver into the hole on the right of my car's shifter,but the plastic broke and I have no way of shifting my car.This really disappointed me and I had to stay home whether I wanted to or not.I called my niece and explained the problem and she said that she will help me by giving me a ride to church tomorrow and after hanging up with her,I called the repair garage and left a message and I am hoping that something can be done that won't be too much for the garage to do.Now,at this moment,I have no car and it really breaks my heart.I do have a ride to church tomorrow and I am hoping to have rides in the subsequent weeks.I am hoping that I can get a ride to my Thursday evening Bible study group.
Since the situation with my car made it impossible for me to go anywhere,I heated up something that I had in the oven and I ate it.I was hungry and I am hoping that the situation with my car gets resolved soon.After finishing,I did some more personal PC work and I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a day with mixed emotions despite such a promising start to the day.I also managed to get soem recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I started out having no problems,but when the thing happened with my car,I was feeling disappointed and frustrated.I think that Satan is doing this to me to make me curse my Heavenly Father and give up what I am trying to accomplish and do in regards to my struggles.But,I refuse to do that and I actually went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I talked about it.I told him everything and I asked him to help get me through this.I also said to him that I was hoping that it won't be as bad as it looks.I am simply hoping for the best and expecting the worst.In regards to my struggles with SSA,I know that with this unfortunate turn of events,I am going to be tempted to act out by fantasizing and lusting.But,I have to prove that I am stronger that the unnatural sexual desires that I have,although it means going to my Heavenly Father in prayer to ask for the strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I need to show the desires that they don't own me and that I won't let them define who I am.I also won't let them dictate to me how I will be or act.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers as I am going to need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section as I am also going to need all the positive verbal support that I can get.I need some support right now as this difficult emotional time is getting worse by this unfortunate incident that is happening in regards to my car.I need all the support that I can get because I really need to stay afloat and not let the desires that I have own me nor take control of me.I need to be reaffirmed and reassured that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and please don't forget to leave some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I got dressed and I headed over to a friend's place and hung out with the for a while and I left to head for home.
When I got home,I changed into dress clothes to visit a place where I dropped off a job application,but was told that their policy was they would call me in for an interview when they would get around to it.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed back into casual clothes and did my personal PC work.
After eating a light meal,I headed over to my usual Celebrate Recovery group and the meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my clothes and started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I had no problems with temptation nor did any sexual images of men cloud my mind.But last night,I was trying to get some sleep and I was tempted overwhelmingly as sexual images of men clouded my mind and I was tempted to act out on them by fantasizing and lusting after them and to manipulate my genitals to the images.I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked him for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations.I didn't stop praying until it all disappeared and when I was finished praying,I turned another way and went back to sleep.But today,I had no problems and while I did escape today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.I still need to stay on guard and be watchful.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also ask that you leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both types of support every day.They both help keep me going.They also help reaffirm and reassure me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of a Men's Network group tomorrow and church on Sunday,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the upcoming weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning as I was awakened by a phone call by my job placement counselor/coach.She informed me that I could come in and she could help me fill out a couple of job applications after I picked them up.I said okay and after I hung up,I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished with that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed up in dress clothes and I went out to pick up the two applications at the places she wanted me to pick them up.After that,I headed for the agency where we both filled them out and after we were finished,I clipped my resume and her business card on them and I headed out to turn them in.After I did that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and into some casual clothes.After that,I headed back out to run a few errands and when I was done with them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and I prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and I also started preparing for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Though it is,I had no problems today as I had no temptations to act out on the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.I had no temptations to fantasize nor lust after other men.I also didn't have the temptation to subsequently manipulate my genitals either.I guess that being out for much of the day turning in those job applications and running the errands helped keep my mind off of these terrible things.I also still feel that talking to my Heavenly Father about my aforementioned obsession that I talked about on last Saturday's post also helped.Still,though I escaped today unscathed,there is still tomorrow and the days after tomorrow as Satan and his minions can strike at any time and try to get me to sin against my Heavenly Father and his perfect law in regards to sexuality.I have to continue to stay on guard and be watchful.I also need to continue working on going to my Heavenly Father and ask for strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever temptations do come around.I need to show these unnatural sexual desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both prayerful and positive verbal support daily as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers but they rarely leave any comments in the comments section.I need both positive verbal support as much as I need prayerful support.They both help keep me going.They also help keep me strong in both my determination and motivation.The positive verbal support also helps reaffirm and reassure me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Celebrate Recovery group in the evening,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.I also got another phone call from my job placement counselor/coach and after we talked,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work and headed out to do some shopping.
I first went to the local Salvation Army thrift store and saw that the dehumidifiers they were selling were working and I bought one of them for my bedroom and also,a few cassette tapes.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I plugged the dehumidifier in and turned it on.I left it running for a while when I was still home and when I left again to finish my shopping,I shut it off and unplugged it.I went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up some things that I needed.After that,I headed for a local supermarket to buy a few more things.After paying for these things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put everything that I bought away and I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and I relaxed for the rest of the evening while preparing for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I again had no problems with temptations to act out on the unnatural desires that I have.I had no temptations fantasize and lust after other men nor to manipulate my genitals.I was out for much of the day and I guess that's what helped keep my mind off of the sexual aspects of SSA.I guess throwing my obsession on my Heavenly Father and asking for help by him also helped.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.I still have to stay in guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any moment on any day.I need to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask for strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ when the temptations come around as I don't want to sin by giving into these terrible temptations when they come around.I need to work on going to him constantly.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to pray for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.I need positive verbal support as much as I need prayerful support each and every day.Your encouraging words,alongside your prayers,help keep me going in this particular struggle.They also help keep me strong.They also reaffirm and reassure me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I received a phone call from my job placement counselor/coach as a follow-up and I told her that I would be calling one of the places around 11:00am to see about the status of my application and she said for me to call her tomorrow and we hung up.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished showering,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I gave the place a call and they said that at the moment,they weren't looking for anyone and I said okay and we hung up.Disappointing,but I have to keep on trying.After that,I went out to a local kitchen for lunch and when I was finished with that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to buy some much needed groceries and after that was done,I headed over to the bank to withdraw some money and I headed straight home to drop off the groceries and the money.After I had put the stuff away that needed to be put away right away,I headed back out to pay a bill and after that,I headed out to look for a good used dehumidifier,but came up short.There were two for sale at the local Salvation Army thrift store,but they both didn't work as the fans wouldn't turn.After that,I went to another Salvation Army thrift store within the county that I live,but there was no dehumidifiers for sale there.I went to a nearby Goodwill store and there was also no dehumidifiers for sale at that store either.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I continued putting the groceries away and I did my personal PC work.After that,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and I relaxed for a while as I listened to some music.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,though it is the worst,I had no problems with temptations today.I went through the day with no problems.I had no temptations today to fantasize and lust after other men nor was I tempted to manipulate my genitals as sexual images of men didn't cloud my mind.I guess that being out in the community and keeping my mind on the other things that I was doing helped a lot.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is still tomorrow and the days after that as Satan and his minions can strike at any time with terrible temptations.I need to continue to stay and guard and be watchful.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that you please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but the visitors rarely leave comments in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support daily and desperately.They both help keep me going.They also help keep me strong in both my determination and motivation.The positive verbal support both reaffirms and reassures that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to pray for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do give me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I decided to eat my usual quick breakfast early.I got a phone call from my job placement counselor/coach checking up on if I had heard from the places that I recently applied and I informed her that I haven't.After we talked,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I showered after that.When I was finished showering,I got dressed and I headed for a local kitchen to have lunch and after eating it,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a gallon of milk.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the milk away and I finished my personal PC work.After that,I got dressed up in dress clothes and I headed to the places that I recently dropped an application off at to see about the status of my applications.One place simply informed me to call the assistant manager in the morning while the other place advised me to drop an application at another one of their locations in the city and they also gave me an application to fill out.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to do some more personal PC work and I also started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and I relaxed while watching a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.I also started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,though it may be the most difficult,I didn't have any troubles with terrible temptations today.I wasn't tempted to indulge in any fantasies and lusting after other men nor was I tempted to manipulate my genitals.I went through the whole day just going about my business and I got through.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is still tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.It's not that I am worried about tomorrow.I just have to continue staying on guard and being watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any time.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support each and every day.They both help keep me going.The positive verbal support both reaffirms and reassures me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep me strong in regards to both my determination and motivation.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of doing some much needed grocery shopping,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast and when I was finished eating,I got dressed up real quickly in a suit and I headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local bargain closeout store to pick up a box of cereal.After that,I checked out a yard sale in my hometown and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes and had a small bowl of cereal as a light lunch and when I was finished with it,I headed out to go see the movie Legends of Oz:Dorothy's Return and I enjoyed it immensely.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered a few dollar bills at the Where's George site and after that,I headed out to check out some yard sales in another area of the county and I also headed for an AMVETS store in the next county and bought a few things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I started to prepare my evening meal and after I ate it,I did my personal PC work.After finishing that,I relaxed and started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult of the two for me.Though it is,I must report that today,since I was out for much of the day,I had no problems with temptations.I had no temptations to manipulate my genitals nor did any sexual images of men cloud my mind.I guess being out in the community for a while was what did it.For the whole day,I had nothing come across my mind that was immoral nor themed to the sinful sexual activity connected with Homosexuality/SSA.It was wonderful that I didn't have this.I also feel that throwing the aforementioned obsession on my Heavenly Father yesterday in the early evening also helped me with today.Though I did escape today unscathed,there is still tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.It isn't that I am worried.I still have to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike any minute any day.I have to be ready when that happens so I can go to my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I have to show these unnatural sexual desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support every day as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.They both help keep me going.They also reaffirm and reassure me that I am alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to pray for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

This post may contain things that might trigger something negative in others, particularly men, who struggle with SSA.

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I procrastinated and didn't shower for much of the morning after getting up.I simply checked my e-mail and reduced my e-mail load in two other accounts that I have and after that,I had my usual quick breakfast.A half hour later,I finally showered and when I was finished,I got dressed and quickly did my personal PC work.After that was done,I decided to head out to get something to eat.After that,I decided to take a drive out to another area of the county that I live in and stopped at a Salvation Army thrift store and I bought a few things.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up something for dinner and after I paid for that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something else to have with my dinner.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I started to prepare my light evening meal and when I was finished eating,I did some more personal PC work.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Yesterday and today,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men that were clouding my mind and it also gave into fantasizing and lusting after them.On both of these occurrences,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father and asked for forgiveness and for his mercy in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed hard and Left nothing out.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my fall and I pleaded for his mercy and forgiveness.When I was finished praying,I felt much better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.Since I was out for much of the day,I had no more problems with sexual temptations and lusting.Before posting this particular entry for today,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I threw everything on him.I realized that I still had an obsession with male images and symbols,including an obsession with male nudity.I threw this obsession on my Heavenly Father and I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me break free from this obsession.I also asked my Heavenly Father to help me break free from this obsession.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out.I threw everything on my Heavenly Father.I laid it on him and I honestly told him everything.I realized that this is why I am having the problem of manipulating my genitals to these images as I was still inadvertently enslaved to this particular obsession.I also threw on him something that threw me off a few days ago when I was having a conversation with some other man and he mentioned something about the drug store where I pick up my prescriptions.He mentioned that they sold condoms for "less than average sized men"(he did use vulgar slang for male genitals as a reference to them)and again,it threw me off.This actually contributed to my two consecutive falls over the last two days.I mentioned everything and I also admitted to my Heavenly Father that I wasn't fully relying on him lately and I also asked to be forgiven for that as well.I prayed for almost ten minutes and when I was finished,I felt like a giant weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.I felt much better and also,I felt relieved.I need to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer a lot more now whenever these things start coming around again.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both your prayers and positive verbal support daily.I feel alone when I don't see anything encouraging in the comments section.Your support,both prayerful and positive verbal,helps keep me going.They also help reaffirm and reassure me that I am not alone in this particular fight and struggle.Please continue praying for me.I also ask that you please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual in the morning and hoping to go see a movie a little later on,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I went to the bank to withdraw some money and I went home to register the bills.After that,I got some gas and I paid back money that I was loaned to someone.After that,I bought a couple of things for dinner and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I quickly did my personal PC work and when that was finished,I had my light dinner and I headed for my Celebrate Recovery group.
The group meeting was wonderful as there was a lot of sharing tonight.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to buy a box of cereal for breakfast and I went to McDonald's for a dipped cone.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed clothes and I did some more personal PC work.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
In regards to my struggles,I will share tomorrow.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual on Sunday,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work.I relaxed for much of the day as I had no place to go nor anything to do.I watched a little TV and I laid down to read for a while.
After getting back up,I did some more personal PC work.
For much of the day,I was waiting for the evening as there was going to be an Ascension service tonight at another church that wasn't too far away from the church that I worship in.I was anticipating meeting people who worshiped at this particular church and participating in the worship ceremony.
After having a light dinner,I got dressed up in dress clothes and I headed for the church for the service and I was looking forward to it.
The worship service was wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with the people,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I gave into temptation in the mid afternoon by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and the temptation to fantasize and lust after other men,which motivated the temptation for the genital manipulation.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went to far and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed hard and I left nothing out.When I was finished,I felt better as I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.I am not trying to justify this current fall into sin,but what motivated the fall was that I am very bored.I am bored with my current situation.I am trying real hard to find a job in my hometown and I am having a hard time.The boredom today really got the worst in me out.I am sick of being out of work and I want to work real badly.I have been leaving messages with one place and I haven't heard back from them.I have been feeling really intense boredom and it is really getting to me.I now really have to work on getting tough with myself.I have to stop this thing.I don't know why I keep manipulating my genitals and I also don't know why sexual images of men keep clouding my mind so much.I need to find out what the root cause of this is before I go crazy.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I really need some positive verbal support desperately.Please don't be shy when visiting and leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.These types of support help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.They also reaffirm and reassure me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast,After breakfast,I got dressed and I proceeded out so I could go and have lunch at a local kitchen again.After lunch,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did my personal PC work.I would also relax and watch some TV.
A little later on,I headed out to a couple of local stores to pick up some much needed things that I had to get for myself.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and I relaxed while watching a DVD.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Though it is,I can share that I wasn't tempted to act out by fantasies and lusting today.No sexual images of men clouded my mind either.Though I was home most of the day,I had no problems with temptations nor did I have any urges to seek out other men for the purpose of acting out with them.For me,that was great.Though I did escape today unscathed,I have to keep in mind that there is always tomorrow and the days after that.No,I am not worried about tomorrow and the days after that.It is that I still have to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any moment.They can try to tempt me to act out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have.I don't want to sin against my Heavenly Father and disobey his perfect law in regards to sexuality.I have to continually keep in mind that my Heavenly Father never intended for sexuality to be used and abused the way that the world around us is using and abusing it.I also have to work on going to my Heavenly Father and ask for strength to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges when they hit in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I have to ask for that strength the moment that the urges strike at me.I have to show these unnatural sexual desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.Fellow blog followers,I am again asking that you continue to keep me in your prayers.I also ask that you leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both of these types of support real badly and desperately.I am going through a very difficult emotional time right now and I need all the support that I can get.Both of these types of support help keep me going.I am always in need of people to believe in me that I can overcome this struggle and heal from the effects that made me struggle with this terrible emotional condition.Your prayers and your positive verbal support do help in a lot of ways.My blog does get many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left by any one who does visit.It makes me feel all alone when nobody leaves me some encouraging words in the comments section.It also makes me feel sad.Both of these types of support also help reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a special church service that I am hoping to attend at another church as members of my church are invited there to join in the worship,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to head out somewhere.
I went to a local kitchen to have lunch and when I was finished,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I finished my personal PC work and I relaxed while watching a little TV.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I had no temptations to act out on the unnatural desires that I have.I wasn't tempted to fantasize nor lust after any men.No sexual images of men clouded my mind and I managed to get through the day unscathed.I went out to lunch and I also went home after eating it.Though I managed to escape today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.It isn't that I am worried,but I have to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any time and throw lots of temptations at me.I have to be on guard and I also have to be mindful and watchful of these things.I can't let Satan and his minions get what they want nor want me to do.I can't let them get the satisfaction that they want.I still need all the prayerful and positive verbal support that I can get from my fellow blog followers and readers.Please continue praying for as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I need both of these types of support badly and desperately.I am always in need of support as I have very limited resources in my hometown in regards to SSA support and I do feel alone as a result of this.I need to be reaffirmed and reassured that I am not alone in this particular fight and struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.They both help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.Please continue to pray for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,since it's supposed to rain all day,I have nothing else planned.I am simply thinking of staying home and catching up on some much needed work in the house that I have been putting off.I might relax for a bot after doing it.
That was my day today and my hopes and pans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished showering,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed for a local Memorial Day cookout and had myself a little lunch.After that,a friend and I went to a local Salvation Army thrift store and we bought some stuff.After that,we headed back to his place for a little socializing and when he said that he wanted to lay down,I left and headed straight home.
When I got home,I went and did most of my personal PC work and took frequent breaks during that time as I had so many e-mails today.One of those breaks was when I prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I finished my personal PC work and I relaxed for the rest of the evening,while also preparing for my evening retirement.Overall,a very good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I gave into temptation upon arising out of bed by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind,which means that I fantasized and lusted after other men.I felt really miserable after falling into sin this morning and after washing my hands,I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked him for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed hard and I left nothing out.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling short.After praying,I felt better and I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.I managed to get through the rest of the day without falling into sin again.I still need prayerful and positive verbal support.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me positive verbal support in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left in the comments section.Please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Please continue to keep me in your prayers as well.I need both of these types of support really badly and desperately.I am really going through a very difficult emotional time right now and I need both prayers and positive verbal support.They both help in really big ways.They both help keep me going.They also help reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep me strong in both my determination and motivation.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,which it's supposed to rain heavily.I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into casual clothes.I had myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to some more personal PC work and after that,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.Later on,I prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I was tempted to act out by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind as I was tempted to fantasize and lust after them.This time,I managed to go to my Heavenly Father and ask him for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed and I prayed until the temptations had died down.When I was finished,I felt much stronger and I went through the rest of the day with no temptations,but I still stayed on guard and continued to be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any time.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.I have to continue to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any time.They like to use these unnatural sexual desires that I have to make me disobey my Heavenly Father and his perfect law in regards to sexuality and anything connected with it.I have to show them that I worship the one and only true god and that is the sovereign Lord and creator of all things and that I believe in Jesus Christ as his son and Lord and savior of those who have accepted him as such.I don't want these unnatural sexual desires that I have to own me.I want to show them that I won them and not the other way around.I am still a work in progress.I also have to keep in mind that my Heavenly Father will never give up on me no matter what.I also have to work on avoiding falling into the trap to habitually sin and going to my Heavenly Father for forgiveness.I want to show my Heavenly Father that I am serious about wanting to heal and overcome SSA.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support every day and desperately.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.Please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section when you visit.Both of these supports help keep me going.They also help keep me strong in both my determination and motivation.They also reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a Memorial Day outing that I have been invited to,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ