Tonight,I check in feeling okay.I am right now at home taking it easy.I am getting ready for tonight.I will be entertaining the crowds again as I usually do.I am hoping that the night goes good.Though I rarely have an off night,I still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.But again,I hope that everything goes well.
Tonight,the Buffalo Sabres are playing the New Jersey Devils.At the moment,the Sabres are leading 1-0 after the first period.Two more periods to go.Again,I am hoping for a Buffalo win.
Tonight,at the moment,the weather is COLD.The wind is blowing and there is snow all over the place.For much of the day,the visibility was not the way it should have been.I was out driving today doing some personal purchases and the area that I had to travel to was almost zero visibility.In weather like this,you do have to be careful that you do not get hit or that you do not hit anybody.You do have to be careful.So,I am going to be careful tonight.
There probably will not be an awful lot of people tonight at the place.If that is the case,I just might call it an early night and hope that the next week will be better.
That was my day.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling okay.The work day went as well as to be expected.It was a pretty good day.I also had to run a few errands before going home from work.The weather at the moment is very COLD and windy.I am in the house and I am relaxing.It is great to be in the house on a COLD night.In my area,there is really nothing to do on a COLD day or night.So,I just stay home and relax and get ready for the next week.
Tomorrow night,I will be entertaining the crowds again at the place where I do that.I always look forward to doing that every Saturday night.It always makes me feel really good to entertain others and the people always showing their appreciation.I am just overjoyed that the weekend is finally here.I can concentarte on the next week and hope for the week to go good.It was a great week for me this week.I hope that the next is even better.
I also hope for a Buffalo Sabres victory tomorrow night when they play against the New Jersey Devils in New Jersey.A third consecutive win would be totally neat.
That was my day.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling pretty good.The day went by pretty well.I had a pretty good day at work as well.It just went by as smoothly as expected.I simply did my job and it was great.During my lunch break,I picked up a few things for the home so I could go straight home and relax.When I got home today,a DVD that I was waiting for finally came in and that was great.I even tried it out in my VCR/DVD combo and it works good.It was the classic Beatles movie HELP!,which I have been eagerly wanting to add to my DVD library.I now have it and that is totally cool.Yes it is.If only they would bring Let It Be to DVD.That would be "IT!"
Tonight,the Buffalo Sabres were victorious again.The defeated the Boston Bruins by a score of 3-1.Two back to back victories over the Bruins is totally neato.Their next game is Saturday night against the New Jersey Devils in New Jersey.I am hoping for a third consecutive win.The Sabres already have a great record and it would be greater to add to it with another win.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that it goes as good as today did.After that,it's the weekend.I will be doing my usual entertaining the crowds on Saturday night.I hope that it goes well.
That was my day.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling okay.I had a very stressful day.After I got home from work,I got a rude awakening from my auto insurance company about my money being due.I never received a bill this month and when I called my company via their automated service,I was told that I owed no money until February.When I returned the call,they told me that my insurance was past due and it would be cancelled if I did not pay bu February 5th.Well,I did pay it and it's out of the way and I have nothing to worry about until next month.While it was upsetting getting that telephone call without knowing that there was a payment due,I was relieved that I was reminded about it and it's paid for until February.I also had to run another errand for my mother.
You know something,despite these stressful situations,I was surprised that I did not get angry or lose my temper over them.I must be doing something right.Despite this good progress,I am still taking life and my issues one day at a time.
Tonight,I went to my support group at the church and the meeting was awesome.I got a lot out of it and that was super.I always look forward to the meetings every Wednesday night.I am looking forward to the next one.I am hoping that it's as awesome as the last one.
Tomorrow is another full work day.I hope that the day goes well.
That was my day and night.FJ

Tonight,I am checking in feeling really good.It was yet another wonderful day for me.I went to work and that went as smoothly as it did.I simply did my job and everything just worked out that way it was supposed to.Yes it did.I had a great day.It was truly a wonderful day even though it was cold out and snowy.This evening,I took a drive out to a town in the next county and bought some more horror DVD's.I am hoping to watch them over the next few weeks.I am hoping that they are great films.I love a great scary movie.
Tonight,I am feeling good for another reason.The Buffalo Sabres were victorious tonight.They clobbered the Boston Bruins by a score of 7-1 tonight.It was a truly awesome game.The Sabres scored non-stop all throughout the game playing the game like they did when the season started.It was a totally awesome happening game.They are playing the Bruins again on Thursday.I am hoping for another win.Back to back wins against the Bruins would be totally neato.Yes it would.Again,I am hoping for a win.
Tomorrow is a work day.But I am only doing a pick-up and that is all.After that,I can relax and take it easy for the rest of the day until the evening.I will be attending my group tomorrow night.
That was my day and night.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling okay.Today was a mild day outside with only a little snowfall.There was also some snow melted during the mildness of today.I even managed to shovel up some snow and ice off and even sprinkle some ice melt to ensure that the mail carrier will not get hurt when he/she delivers the mail.It was another eventful day.I had to run an errand for my mom today and even got a couple of things done for myself.It was a great day out.I am right now at home relaxing and the weather is cold out.I am not going anyplace else tonight so I am just going to stay home and prepare for the work day tomorrow.Yes,tomorrow is a work day and I am hoping that it goes good.I hope that nothing negative happens to me on the job.I hope that it goes as smoothly as it can and nothing frustrating happens.
Today went by pretty fast.It was sunny,mild and not too cold.Right now,as I have stated earlier,the weather is cold but not too cold.But I have no place to go.So,I am just going to take it easy and prepare for the work day.Again,I hope that the work day goes good.
Tomorrow night,the Buffalo Sabres are playing against the Boston Bruins in Buffalo and I am hoping that they win.After two consecutive disappointing losses,a win would be totally neat.Again,I hope that they can beat the Bruins.
That was my day today.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling okay.It is a very cold night.I am at home right now resting comfortably and I am anticipating the coming week.I am in the house because there is really no place to go on a cold night like this.So,I am staying home tonight.
Last night,I went out to entertain the crowd and I had a great time.A friend that has not come out in a while actually came out and we both had a great time singing up a storm.I just love to entertain people.The night went by well and it made me feel good.I am looking forward to next Saturday.I am hoping that next Saturday goes as well as last night.I always have a ball entertaining the crowd and it makes me feel good when they feel good.
The only disappointing thing is that the Buffalo Sabres lost to the New York Islanders by a score of 4-3.Tuesday,they are playing the Boston Bruins.I am hoping for a win.That would be totally neat.I would be overjoyed if the Sabres can beat the Bruins.
Today,I ran a few errands.I got everything done that I had to get done and that gave me a sense of accomplishment.I even had a talk with a friend of mine fron New Jersey and that was great.It was great to hear from him.
Tomorrow is a day off for me.I will be taking it easy and prepare for the work week at the same time.I hope that the week goes by smoothly and I get everything that I need to get done throughout the week.You never know what might happen.
That was my day and night for both nights.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling good.At the moment,the Buffalo Sabres and the New York Islanders are tied 3-3.I am hoping that the Sabres can win tonight after that disappointing loss on Friday night.It would be truly neat to see that they win tonight.It would make me happy to hear that they won tonight.I am hoping for a victory tonight.A victory tonight would be totally sweet.Again,I hope that they can win one tonight.
Tonight,I am going to be singing again for my friends and I am hoping that it goes well.Though I rarely have an off night singing and entertaining,I still always hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.Again,I hope that things go well.
I had a pretty good day today.The weather was a bit warmer today and some of the snow melted.I also shoveled a little bit for the mail carrier so he/she would not slip and fall.The minute that I got done and went back in,the mail carrier left a little mail.I also ran an errand today for myself while for most of the day,I had the place to myself because my mother went shopping.It is now evening and the temps have dropped some and it is kind of cold but not as it has been over the past couple of weeks.It will be back in the 20's when the new week begins.Again,I will be looking forward to entertaining the crowds tonight.I am hoping that everything goes good.
That was my day and what my night will hopefully be like.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling okay.Tonight is bitterly cold.The wind chill factor is -12 below zero.It is COLD.This has been the coldest that it's ever been all winter.Tomorrow,we are supposed to get up to the 30's again.The roller coaster ride begins again.We have had it cold the past couple of weeks and now,we are going to back in the 30's tomorrow.WOW!Pretty topsy turvy weather we have been having lately.One minute it's COLD.The next minute it warms up a tad.I guess the atmosphere will be topsy turvy for a while.
Today was yet another work day.I did my job and that went as well as could be expected.Nothing really negative to write about.It was a pretty good day.When I got home,I simply went upstairs to lie down because I was tired and mainly,my niece's kids were over.I just needed some peace and quiet for a while.So,I layed down for almost an hour and it was good.I also had a headache as well so I needed some peace and quiet to get rid of it.I felt better later after having dinner.I am in the house right now relaxing.I am just happy that the weekend is here.
The only disappointing thing to happen tonight was that the Buffalo Sabres lost tonight to the Columbus Blue Jackets by a score of 3-2.
Tomorrow night,I will be singing for my friends.I am hoping that the night goes good.Though I rarely have an off night,I still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.
That was my day.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling good.It was yet another wonderful day for me.It was totally awesome.Today was another work day and the work day went by smoothly.I got a lot done with no trouble at all.I am simply paying more attention to my job and paying less attention to what is around me.I do pay attention to when my supervisor tells me something and that is all I pay attention.Again,the day went by well and that was rewarding in itself.Yes it was.
I also had to run an errand for my mother when I got home from work.After that was done,I stayed home and took it easy.It was yet another bitterly cold day today with blowing and drifting snow that seemed to never end as it got a little worse.Yes it did.I managed to make it home today even though it was storming a little.It takes a bit longer for my vehicle to warm up when it is really COLD outside.Then again,it's the winter season and that is what's to be expected.We did have some nice warm weather for a while but the arctic blast that we got brought us back to reality.Again,it's winter.It is what the season is all about.
Tomorrow is yet another work day.After that,it will be the weekend and I will be doing my usual singing for the crowd on Saturday night.I am hoping that my work day goes well and that my night of singing goes well.Tomorrow night,the Buffalo Sabres are back on the ice.They are playing the Columbus Blue Jackets in Columbus tomorrow night.I am hoping for a win.Though the Eastern Conference All Star's lost 12-9 to the Western Conference All Star's,I am glad that Daniel Brieire won the All Star Game's MVP award.That in itself is better than nothing.
That was my day.FJ

Tonight,I am checking in feeling really good.I had a wonderful night.I went to my group and it was yet another wonderful meeting.We talked for a little bit about what was going on with us and how our weeks were going so far.I shared my story and that was great.It is great and rewarding to have some men who are listening and actually caring about you at the same time.Yes it is.I am looking forward to next weeks meeting and talking with them again.Yes I am.I am going to continue going to these.It is truly amazing.
Today,I went to see my sexual abuse support counselor and that went well.I had a wonderful talk with her.We talked about the usual stuff,with part of it being about the harsh time that I spent with my father when I was younger.I have said it before and I will say it again.It is rewarding to find caring and wonderful people who are there to listen to you without being judgemental alongside ignoring you for no reason.Again,it was a wonderful day and night overall.Yes it was.
Tomorrow is yet another work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day and night.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling okay.I had a pretty frustrating day today on the job.I,once again,had to pick up after those people at the rehab center where I pick up laundry every week.It was not a big mess but I had to back a lot of loose dirty laundry that was on the shelves in the laundry room there and it was frustrating because this took time off of my schedule and I was hoping to be right on time.But I wound up picking up after people who can actually pick up after themselves without having to be told what to do or shown how to do it.I hate it when that happens.I hope that the rest of the week goes by smoothly.The work day,despite a couple of minor mishaps,went by superbly.I did my job for the day and went home.I did have to run a couple of errands tonight and now,I am just relaxing while preparing for bed.
I finaly heard from a friend of mine that I have not heard from in a while.He is feeling better and we are still hoping to get together in the near future.I hope that it does indeed happen and we can finally patch up things between us.It will be great to do so.I have had some problems with him in the past and again,I am hoping that everything goes great.Yes I do.
Tomorrow is an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor.Tomorrow night is another group meeting.I hope that both go well.
That was my day.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling pretty good.It was a wonderful day and I got a lot done.I helped my mother out today.I even managed to get some personal stuff done myself.It was not easy due to the bitterly cold weather that we have been having but still,I got a lot done.It was a nice day despite the freezing temperatures.But I got a lot done and that gives me a good feeling.
Tomorrow is another work day.I hope that the work day goes by well.I am also hoping that the week goes by well enough as well.After the frustrating work day that I had on Friday,I am going to need a great week to get over that.Again,I am hoping that the work day and week goes by well.If it does,I will feel a bit better.
The Sabres are not playing until Friday.They will be playing the Columbus Bluejackets on Friday night.I hope that they can start off their first post all star break game with a win.It was very depressing that they lost to the Montreal Canadians in Montreal on Saturday night.Again,a win Friday night can make me forget about that disappointing loss.
Wednesday afternoon is when I will be meeting my sexual abuse support counselor.It is my first meeting with her since the new year began.I am hoping for a wonderful meeting with her.I have a lot to tell her.I hope that the meeting goes well.
That was my day.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling pretty good.I had a wonderful day.I ran an errand for my mother.I even checked up on a friend of mine and he's doing good.I even had a nice talk with a friend of mine from Jersey and he's doing good.Plus,I just sent an e-mail to my new friend in California.Everything is good.Yes it is.I am feeling good and that gives me a wonderful feeling.Yes it does.I feel great and that feeling is better than nothing.
Last night,I sang up a storm for my friends and I had a ball.It was a truly wonderful evening for me and it was wonderful that everybody enjoyed my song selections last night.I came home with a smile on my face and had a wonderful nights sleep.I had no bad dreams and that was wonderful.
The only disappointing thing was that the Buffalo Sabres lost 4-3 to the Montreal Canadians last night.They have the week off for the all star game before resuming play on the 26th against the Columbus Blue Jackets in Coulmbus.The best thing is that three of the Sabres are going to play in the all star game.They are Daniel Briere,Brian Campbell and Ryan Miller.They will be playing on the first team.It will be an interesting game.Lindy Ruff is also going to coach the team that Briere,Campbell and Miller will be playing.Again,it will be an interesting game.
That was my day and night.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling really good.It is Saturday night and I am looking forward to singing up a storm tonight.I hope that the night goes by well.Again,though I rarely have an off night,I still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.Still,I look forward to singing tonight and I am hoping that the night goes good.
Today,I got a lot done.I managed to get to the drug store to pick up my medication and I even took a friend to work today.It was a pretty good day.The weather was bitterly cold and it was a little bit icy and freezing.Despite this,I managed to get a lot accomplished.Again,I look forward to entertaining the crowd tonight and I hope that everything goes well tonight.I enjoy entertaining the crowds every Saturday night and it always makes me feel good when they feel good.Yes it does.
Right now,the Buffalo Sabres are playing.I am hoping that they can win tonight.
That was my day.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling pretty good.It was a wonderful day.I worked a full day today and it worked out pretty good.The day did start out frustrating as I had to pick up an unholy mess in the laundry room over at the drug/alcohol rehab center that I had to pick up the laundry from.Fortunately for me,I had a couple of helpers helping me to pick it up.After that,I simply put the laundry in my vehicle and went to my work place to start my job.The day went by well.I did my work and the day went by pretty fast.I had a good day.It all worked out and everything turned out for the better.
Tonight,the Buffalo Sabres were victorious again.They beat the Vancouver Canucks tonight in a shootout by a score of 4-3.The Sabres travel to Montreal to play the Canadians.This will be the Sabres last game until the All-Star break is over with.I hope that they can win another one again.
I will also be singing tomorrow night.I am hoping that the night goes by well.Though I rarely have an off night,I still hope for everything to go well.You never know what might happen.Again,I also hope for another win by the Buffalo Sabres.
That was my day and night.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling pretty good.It was a very good day today.Though I had a disappointing work day where I only had half a day,I managed to keep myself busy with some stuff.My mother and I got some much needed grocery shopping done.I figured that since I had the afternoon of,why not use it to my advantage.I got a lot done today and that is wonderful.Yes it is.I had a great group night last night and today,I made a new friend who I met in an online Yahoo forum.It is a young lady who's from Hawaii and lives in California.I am communicating with her via e-mail and through other means.She is such a sweetie.I love her as a person.She is truly nice.I like her.We have a lot in common.She likes the same type of movies that I do.Yes she does.It is great to meet new people and make new friends.I am feeling good about that.Yes I am.
Tomorrow is another work day.It will be a full day this time.I will be glad about that.Yes I will.Next week,it will be back to normal as I will now be working full weeks,except when there is a holiday during the week.
Overall,a pretty good day.
That was my day.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling better.I had a wonderful group meeting tonight.It was awesome to let out some more steam.It was a great meeting.The weather might have been cold tonight but it did not dull the mood of teh men who were meeting.It was yet another wonderful meeting.I am looking forward to the next meeting.Yes I am.I always look forward to all the weekly meetings.I am hoping that the next meeting is just as great as the last.Yes I do.
Today,I got a rude awakening.I learned that I will only be working half a day tomorrow.I was a little peeved at this because I was planning to work a full week.I am going to lose a little bit of money and that is disappointing.But I am going to fill it up with something.My mom and I are going to do some grocery shopping.It's going to be cold over the next few days and we feel that it's necessary to do that.At least,I will have something to do.I will be keeping my nimble self busy.It will not be on the job.But it's better than nothing.I was angry that this is happening.But I was surprised that I did not lose my temper.I am normally not very good at keeping my cool.But I have been doing good in that area as of late.WOW!
Tonight,the Buffalo Sabres defeated the Boston Bruins by a score of 6-3.The Sabres three game losing streak is over.It is totally sweet hearing that my #1 team is a winner.It is also sweeter that they are doing great.Their next game is a home game when the Vancouver Canucks come to town.I am hoping that the Buffalo Sabres can win another one.Two consecutive wins at home would be totally sweet.
That was my day and night.FJ

Tonight,I check in with mixed emotions.I am very disappointed with myself tonight.I am really feeling torn apart at the seems and I feel like I am unworthy of a lot of things.Earlier today,I wound up masturbating again.I felt bad about this.It is the same old pattern again.I was once again having those same old dreams about being surrounded by naked men and feeling powerless.I was trying to take a nap today after I had a hard day at work and I weakened.I feel so dirty right now.I want to overcome this terrible SSA that I am going through and it is really bringing me down when I failed today.I did ask God to forgive me for giving in but I still feel guilty.I know that I need to learn to forgive myself after asking from forgiveness from up above and even though I said to myself,albiet mentally,that I forgive you FJ as well,but I still feel miserable.I need all the help that I can get.I want to stop this stuff and I want to overcome SSA but I am having a hard time.I am going to have anothet talk with the Lord in Heaven again before I turn in for the night.I hope that I feel better afterwards.I am feeling depressed as well as angry with myself for falling short.I know that God does not expect me to be a "Superhero". He knows that I am imperfect and will fall short.Plus,I know that he is merciful and forgiving.I am still trusting in him to accomplish my goals but I am still feeling guilty.Again,I will have another talk with him tonight before I turn in for the night and I hope that I feel better after doing so.I still feel miserable.But again,after another talk with the Lord,I hope that I feel better.
Those are my thoughts and ramblings.I would appreciate a few prayers.Thanks.FJ

Tonight,I check in feeling disappointed.Why?Because due to the weather we had today,which was a lot of freezing rain,I could not go to my appointment because I had a difficult time trying to get ice off of the driver and passenger side windows of my vehicle.I had no problem getting the ice off of my windshield but those windows were a pain.I tried everything but everything failed.So,I poured Prestone windshield de-icer fluid all over my windows to loosen the ice.It worked but not in time for my appointment.I had to cancel it today and I had it rescheduled for next month.I was hoping to terminate the counseling but I now have to wait another month.Oh well!Mother Nature really let ys have it today,didn't she?The only thing that I get accomplished today was that I had to go to the store to get a couple of things for the home.That is the only thing I did.
I actually fell back into the old thought patterns.I gave into temptation when I kept playing with my genitals.I was also having verbal daydreamed styled fantasies of my past sexual relations with other men.I was also talking to myself on top of it all.I had to say,in my brain,"STOP!THIS IS NOT YOU,BOY!YOU ARE NOT HOMOSEXUAL!YOU JUST HAVE THOSE DESIRES BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH THROUGHOUT YOUR LIFE!YOU'RE A HETEROSEXUAL/STRAIGHT GUY WITH A HOMOSEXUAL PROBLEM!"I had to say a little prayer for the lord to forgive me in this because it was wrong.After I done that,I felt better and I listened to some spiritual music to clear my head.I will be listening to it again before I go to sleep.I hope that I can sleep well.I did weaken last night a few hours after posting and I masturbated.I also asked the lord to forgive me for falling short.Plus,the Buffalo Sabres lost to the Boston Bruins in a shootout tonight by a score of 3-2.
We have a winter weather advisory in effect tonight until midnight.I hope that we do not get any more for tonight and a while.We escaped the full brunt of the storm system,but still,anything can happen.
That was my day and night.FJ