Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better.I had a pretty good nights sleep and that made me feel the way I do.I had a not too eventful day.For most of the day,it rained pretty much.It was just a light rain shower that stopped for a minute or two and started again throughout the day.It was just a mixed weather bag that did not seem to let up.
Despite it not being too eventful of a day,I did manage to get a few errands done.I had to get an anniversary card for my uncle and his wife because it is going to be their 50th Wedding Anniversary party tomorrow evening.I am hoping that the party goes well.I will be seeing some cousins of mine whom I have not seen in a long time.Again,I am hoping that the party goes over well.I am hoping to reconnect with some family members who I haven't spoken with in quite a long time.I hope that this will be well worth going to tomorrow.
Tonight,I am looking forward to my usual entertaining the crowd.I am looking forward to this with a lot of enthusiasm and optimism.I am hoping that the night goes well for me.Though I rarely,if ever,have an off night,I always still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.Also,a friend and his girlfriend are hoping to meet with me tonight as well.I am hoping that this will be a fun night for me and for them as well.I look forward to doing this every week during the work week and when the night arives,I look forward to doing what I enjoy doing best.It always makes me feel good to make others happy.
That was my day today,my hoped for night tonight and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am again feeling mixed emotions.I had a very frustrating day today.The work day started out promising but it later turned into a mess.It started after I got my lunch at the social club.After I got my lunch,there was a little bit of pasta salad as a side dish and since I am not a huge fan of pasta salad,I decided to let someone else have it rather than wasting it.Because I feel that it is not right to waste food after somebody has worked hard to prepare it for other people.When some of the people did not want it,I simply left it in the middle of the table while I ate an Italian sausage,which was the main portion.A very inconsiderate member of the social club actually had the nerve to state "I Guess Nobody Wants It",especially since I did not ask him for his opinion on the subject and I politely and simply informed him that I did not ask for his opinion and that I really did not appreciate that.He just laughed at me.But he was not through with me.He deliberately bumped me on the side of me and even had the nerve to say "Excuse Me" to make it look alright and even tried to play innocent and naive as way of getting sympathy from the social club staff that was there at the time.When I expressed how I felt regarding it in an angry but calm tone of voice,he had the nerve to threaten violence on me by stating that he would knock my block off if he caught me out in the community.He did leave and said that he was done there for the day but he did come back frequently during the afternoon.I simply shrugged and went down in the basement to do my job and not pay any mind to it.Before I did start my job,I actually waited half an hour for my mood to calm down before starting my job because I did not want anybody around saying the wrong thing to me and I would explode.I did not want to take any chances of hurting anybody or even myself.After waiting that half an hour,where I talked with somebody for that time span,I felt better though I was still at edge after what happened.Fortunately for me,the rest of the work day went by smoothly and there were no problems.
When the social club coordinator came back later in the afternoon,I talked with him about what had happened and he said that he would look into this the minute that he had a chance.I will be checking back with him on Tuesday to see what the results are.I am hoping that something can be done to help reduce stuff like this.What happened today did not have to happen and I wish that some people would be considerate of other's feelings and not the opposite where they wind up hurting them.I also wish that more people would understand that their immature actions can hurt others if they are not careful.But as always,you can't always get people to be the way you'd like them to be.Let alone get angry when somebody causes problems.Oh Well.Live and learn.
With what happened today,I am just glad that the weekend is finally here.I am looking forward to entertaining the crowd tomorrow night.I am looking forward to that with a lot of enthusiasm and optimism.I am hoping that the night tomorrow night goes well.Not only that,a friend of mine and his girlfriend are hoping to be there tomorrow night.The night ought to be interesting and fun.
That was my day today and my hoped for day and night tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.I am feeling a little bit of joy,a little bit frustration and mostly angry and at edge.Why?It is over what had happened today at work.While my job went smoothly,I had a run in with the coordinator at the social club today.It was an issue regarding the social club computer on my use of it on Tuesday.
While I was on the social club computer checking out the latest weather report,he called me over and I asked "Is There Something Wrong?" and he answered by saying "I Don't Know.It Depends On What You Have To Say For Yourself."
When I walked into another room with him,he told me that he found some pornographic images in the internet history on the computer consisiting of nude ladies and stuff like that.I had to really assure him that I knew nothing of this and that I did not log on to any site of that nature and that I didn't know how those images got on to there.He even asked if anything popped up on the computer while I was on there and I answered him "NO",which was the truth.For about 2 minutes,I had to keep reassuring him that I knew nothing of anything of that nature and again,I did not log on to anything inappropriate.He said "Okay,We'll Let It Go At That For Now.Just Be Careful.If Anything Pops Up That Isn't Supposed To Be There,Let Us Know."I answered by saying "Okay" and went back on the computer.After checking out a Wikipedia page,I closed off the internet and went back to the basement to finish my shift and I stayed there until lunchtime.I even read from my Life Recovery Bible during the time that I was waiting for the laundry to get done.Before I did go back,I had a talk with another social club staffer about this problem and also assured her that I really did not do anything wrong and I also did not log on to any inappropriate websites during my time on Tuesday.She said that she would look into it and see what could be causing this.
What really amazed me was that I did not get angry nor did I lose my temper during that talk with the coordinator today regarding that social club computer issue.I don't know what it could be.I must be doing something right.I don't know if it's going to the support group at the church each week or if it's the creator in Heaven helping me out.I don't know.But whatever it is,I hope that it continues to work for me.
When I got home this afternoon,I took my mom grocery shopping so we could have some food for the whole month.The shopping trip went well enough and after I got home,I simply checked out some new DVD's that I bought at Blockbuster Video because they still have that sale where you can get 2 Previously Viewed DVD's for free when you buy 2 of them,which I bought after work.I also had to return later to get a new case because one of them had the insides which hold the DVD in place broken.They simply apologized and put the DVD and the accompanying picture label in the new case.Overall,a day with some mixed fortunes and I am hoping that tomorrow works out better.
Tomorrow is yet another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes by smoothly.After that,it's the weekend.I will be glad for that.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty decent day today.Though the day started out frustrating with me picking up a small mess at the drug/alcohol rehab center,I managed to have a pretty good day.After I dropped the laundry off at the work site,I simply drove straight home because I felt tired due to a lack of sleep the previous night.I had a difficult time getting to sleep the previous night due to all the heat and humidity that was around.I had both my window and table top fans going but I still could not get to sleep.I tossed and turned repeatedly trying to get to get to sleep.I managed to doze off without realizing it and did not remember a thing until my mom called me up for breakfast this morning.When I got home,I slept for a few hours because I was tired and needed to get some sleep before I went crazy.When I woke up,I felt better and went out to do an errand for the home.While out,I managed to have a light lunch to tie me over until dinner.
I went to my support group meeting at the church and the meeting was wonderful.I shared experiences from the past several days to them,including the Monday afternoon experience that I shared on here.It was great to have them listening to me and thanking me for sharing my story of the several days experience.It was also a relief to get all of it off of my chest.For that,I am greatful to be going to this group and to have found out about it.I do not know if I would have made it this far without them.The men are a swell bunch.I feel better now finding out about this and going to it.Yes I do.I look forward to the next meeting.I hope that it is as wonderful as this one.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes by smoothly.After work,I have to take my mom grocery shopping for the month.She has informed me that she needs to get some food in the house because it is needed.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a very smooth work day today.Nothing negative happened at work today and I again had a talk with the department head regarding the laundry bag problem and he talked with my supervisor about it and I guess that they are working on it as I am saying this.
Despite the smooth day,I was tired.The day was smooth but the weather,which was HAZY,HOT & HUMID like yesterday even on the drive home,really tired me out.Whne I got home.I was really tired from all the heat and humidity that I had to lay down and take it easy for awhile before returning a phone call that a friend made while I was on the way home.I just did not have the energy to make any phone calls due to the scorching summer weather that we have been experiencing in my hometown the past few days.I am hoping for relief very soon.We are suposed to get some rain tomorrow and that is supposed to cool the weather down for the rest of the week.I am hoping that it does because this heat and humidity have been driving me crazy.It does get bothersome and annoying after a while.Again,I am hoping that relief comes soon.
I did step out for a short time tonight.I stopped in at the place where I entertain for a few minutes to see how some of the people were doing.Apparently,it was a slow night tonight but that is to be expected during near mid-week.They did have a pizza party earlier in the evening so I had a few slices while I was there and I left.I went straight home because I do have to get up in the morning for work.
Tomorrow is simply a pick up day.I am hoping that the pick up works well,which means that I am hoping that there is no mess to pick up at the pick up place.I also have my Wednesday night support group meeting at the church and I am hoping that the meeting goes well.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too eventful day today.The reason why the day was not too eventful was because of the weather being HAZY,HOT & HUMID.But I managed to get some stuff done today.I managed to make it to my appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor and the meeting with her went pretty good.After that,I went home to cool off before doing some more shopping.I went to pick up a half gallon of ice cream and I also went to a Burger King in my area for a ICEE cold drink.While there,I saw some young men sitting in some chairs and they were looking at me very unusually.I did not pay any attention to them as I was going to get my straw for my drink.As I was walking past them to get to a seat to enjoy my drink,one of them called me a faggot and the others laughed as he did so.Again,I paid no attention as I was walking past them and they left the restaurant soon after.I just sat down and started to sip my ICEE.When I finished,I disposed of my cup and I talked with an elderly couple before I left.They jokingly asked if it was hot enough for me and I jokingly answered "Yes it is."Again,I did not let what those young men did to me get the better of me.I know that I am not a Gay man.I was only sexually abused in that sense and that is what contributed to me having these SSA desires.I am still determined to overcome these desires and not let them control me or determine who I am.I know that I am NOT Gay and I also know that I,deep down,do not find men sexually attractive.I know what led me to having these desires and as stated,I am not going to let them control me nor will I let them determine who I am or determine my choice in sexual partners.I know that men and women were created to compliment each other and as stated,I am not going to let these SSA desires control me.I am also not going to let name calling determine who I am either.Faggot is simply a negative label and besides,traditionally,faggot is a bunch of twigs tied together,which is something I am not.I am a human being and I am also a man.I am determined to be the man that I want to be and not what the world wants to make me out to be.I know that I am not Gay.I only have the desires and I know that the desires can be changed with the right emotional support.I am still seeking that and I am not giving up.Apparently,those young men wanted to start something with me and they were disappointed that they did not get what they wanted from me.OH WELL!Live and learn.
The rest of the day went by pretty well.After I arrived home,I relaxed for a bit.I finished my personal computer work and I ate dinner.Before the day is through,I don't know what I will do.But I know that it will be something that will get me out in the community and that is what I am striving to do.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty decent day today.I really did not do too much.I simply went for a drive to the North Tonawanda area to check out a Blockbuster Video in the area.I wanted to see if they had any decent DVD films to purchase.I did manage to buy one film.It was better than nothing.I also stopped at a Wendy's in the area and had some chicken nuggets to tie me over until I got home for dinner.On the way back to the city that I live in,I stopped at a classic car show at a park in the area and I saw a rare sight.I saw a 1971 Ford Pinto there.It was in brand new condition and the owner told me that it was all original.I told him that this is rare seeing a Pinto at a classic car show because due to the negative notoriety that they had aquired during that time,there are not too many around.But he assured me that this was the standard 2-door coupe and they alongside the station wagons were not the problem cars but only the three door hatchback's known as the Runabout's.He even told me that there were some for sale online but he does not know if he's going to get them or not.Still,it was great to see a few great cars and seeing the Pinto made the show for me.
Last night,the night was a success.There was a great big crowd there and that was awesome.This was also the first big crowd that I had seen in a long time there because the crowds in Saturday night's past have been pretty small to medium.Still,it was a delight seeing this big crowd and there were people that I had known who came in who I had not seen in quite a while and that was terrific.There were also some people there who were coming back from a wedding and they thought that they would stop in for a bit and have some fun.Some of the wedding guests who came there also sang a few tunes.Again,it was an awesome night and I had a great time singing up a storm.I sometimes wish that I did have that big a crowd most of the time so there are more people to entertain.Though I never let a small to medium amount of people stop me from doing what I love to do,I always wish that at times I had more.The more the merrier,I always say.But I know that a small crowd is better than having no crowd and I still always appreciate that no matter what.
Tomorrow is a day off.I still have some stuff to do.I have an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor and I have to take my mom grocery shopping.But I still get to enjoy the rest of the day when I am finished.I am hoping that everything I have to do goes well.
Thatw as day today,my night last night and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better than yesterday.My stomach is feeling good and I am feeling better about myself.
I have had a very eventful day.I had to run a couple of errands for my mom and I also had my hair cut.The day was also sunny and mild and it was great to get out into the community and soak up a little bit of air.I was just happy to get out and enjoy myself.
I even had a talk with an old friend today and he's doing good.He and his girlfriend went to a rally in the city that I lived.I was too busy doing stuff for the home and myself to go there.But I told him that I hoped that he was having fun there and that he enjoys the rally.He did later call me back and said that the rally was great.
Tonight,I am also also feeling optimistic.I will be going out to entertain my friends tonight at the place where I sing.I am hoping that the night goes well.Though I rarely have an off night,I still hope for things to go well and that the night works out well.You never know what might happen.Again,I am hoping that the night goes well.
Tomorrow is Sunday.I do not know what I will do but I know that it might be fun no matter what.I am hoping that I do find something.If not,I will just hang out at home.
That was my day today,my hoped for night tonight and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty eventful day today.Today was the company picnic.I went to ot and it was okay.It's just the same old same old every year but I had nothing else to do today because it was my day off due to it.So,I went.I had some good stuff to eat and after almost an hour,I went to have some fun in the pool.I only stayed in teh pool for half and hour and after a shower,I went home.I was feeling pretty tired and I wanted to get home.The only stop that I made was to cash my paycheck at the bank and I headed home afterwards.After I got home,I unpacked my swin gear and went to bed to take a nap.I was tired and I needed to get some sleep.I have been losing sleep as of late due to the laundry bags and the nap did me a world of good.I felt a little bit better.But I still had one more obstacle to overcome.
The next difficult obstacle was that I had a hard time trying to go to the bathroom.I was constipated for almost an hour due to taking diarhea medicine yesterday because I had an attack of diarhea.After inserting two hemmorhoidal suppositories,with a few seconds,the waste matter came out and I felt better.Of course,it was still a painful experience that I endured but I now feel better as a result.I guess that I have to be careful in what I do from now on regarding my system.
I am just glad that the weekend is finally here.I am looking forward to singing for my friends tomorrow night.I am hoping that the night tomorrow goes well.I do not know what I am going to do but I know that it will be something special.At least,I hope that it will be.
That was my day and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.The work day,though a little smooth,got off to a rocky start.When I arrived at the pick up point to pick up the laundry,I saw that they still had not resolved the situation regarding the laundry bags.While the mystery of the previous ones has been solved,they still had not gotten around to getting new bags to replace the old ones that are now history.I had to haul the laundry in garbage bags rather than the usual red/pink ones that have been the standard.Not only that,when I arrived at the work site,I nearly came close to blowing up at my supervisor's supervisor because the door to the cellar was locked.I almost came close to being suspended today as a result of the nonsense that has been happening as of late that should not be happening.Fortunately for me,the rest of the work shift went by smoothly and there were no more negativisms.I even had a great lunch with the gang at the social club.During that time,I got a congratulatory compliment from the coordinator of the social club about keeping my temper in check.Of course,as a result of my nearly blowing up at the head of the department,I could not accept that compliment.He did specifically say that it was being around the social club but I still could not accept that because that would be arrogance if I did.
After lunch,I did have a talk with the department head and I explained to him the problem about the missing laundry bags very cool,calm and collectively.The talk was only for about three minutes and he assured me that he would look into it the minute that he talked to my supervisor when she returned from her vacation.I am just hoping that there will be a good resolution regarding this problem and we can move on with life.After this is resolved,I am hoping that something like this does not happen ever again.It was a drag having this happen and I am hoping that I do not have to face consecutive frustration like this for a long time.This should not have happened to begin with.
Tomorow,I am having a day off for a change because the company picnic is happening.I am going to be driving myself down there so I can leave on my own accord when I want to.I am hoping that the picnic goes well and that it is fun.
After tomorrow,it's the weekend and I am hoping that it goes good.
That was my day today,my hoped for day tomorrow and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Happy 4th of July Everybody.I hope that everyone had a great holiday.
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too exciting day today.Since there was a cancellation in an activity that I was planning to attend today,I simply stayed home most of the day and I watched a movie.I watched An American Haunting.It was based on an actual legend from Red River Tennesee called the Bell Witch.It was actually pretty good.I had been meaning to watch this movie for a long time since I purchased it months ago.The film was superbly acted and well written and directed.There was a lot of scary things in this with some nods to The Exorcist but only based on actual events.But again,it was pretty good and I highly recommend it for anybody who prefers something different for a change rather than the same old same old horror stuff.Again, a very good flick.
Though I was disappointed about the cancellation,it was a relief because it did rain for much of the day and the weather was pretty cool.The disappointment was relieved by watching the film and taking it easy.Earlier this evening,I went into another city in the area that I lived to watch a fireworks display and it was pretty good to see.After the whole thing was over,I ran pretty fast because I wanted to get out of the area before all the other people did.That way,I could avoid the jam.I got home safe and sound and I am now taking it easy in preparation for the next day,where I will be returning to work.I will be glad to work again because as stated,the holiday for me was not too eventful and was kind of boring due to the rainy weather for much of the day.But the movie I watched today relieved much of the boredom.
Tomorrow is a work day.After a holiday,the inevitability of returning to work follows.But that is life and it's unavoidable.But I am hoping that the shift goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay but a little disappointed.I had some high hopes for the 4th tomorrow but the plans that my group had were cancelled.Something had suddenly came up and the moderator of my group called me to let me know that plans had changed.I did feel disappointed that I now have nothing to do on the 4th as usual.Since this has happened,I am going to be staying home as usual and watch a movie.It is what I always do on a holiday like this.I will have the day off tomorrow and I am just going to take it easy and again,watch a movie.I have tons of movies on DVD to watch.Though disappointed,I am now relieved that I do not have to go out of town.Again,I am going to enjoy my day off and take it easy.
The work day went by pretty well.The mystery of the missing laundry bags has not been solved as of yet and the people at the center are going to look into getting new bags so there will be some to put dirty laundry in.But again,the work day went by pretty well and that was good.I did manage to arrive home tired but I still had to do some stuff before I could relax.I had to buy something for dinner tonight because my mom was in no mood to cook anything.She did do my laundry today and that was good.I now have some extra underwear to wear during the week.It is not that I am low on it.I still have plenty but I am greatful that my mom did it.You never know.
As for the rest of this evening,I do not have anything planned.I might go out for a short spell and say hello to some of my friends at the place where I sing.I will just hang out for a few minutes and then go home.I just might watch a movie before I go to sleep tonight.I do not know what I will watch but I will know when I look at the movies that I have and see what is there.
Tomorrow is a day off due to it being a holiday.Again,since I will have nothing to do as usual,I am going to stay home,take it easy and watch a movie.It's better than nothing.It is also better then being bored to death.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too eventful day today.I had to go to the bank today to withdraw some money for my mom and I had to do some grocery shopping.I had to pick up a few things for the home and that was it.After dinner,I had to pick up a few things more.I also went to a Blockbuster video in my area and bought a few more previously viewed DVD's.I have been really stocking up on these since they started this buy 2 get 2 free sale.Again,I guess that they are overstocked on these DVD's and they are trying to get rid of them while they can.I have been getting some pretty good stuff and it has been making my DVD library grow even more.I have a wide variety of movies to choose from for my viewing pleasure.I still have some that I need to catch up on first and I can do that over a succession of Friday nights.I will be watching another on Friday night.I do not know what it it will be but I know that it will be something good,that's for sure.
Last night,I went out.I did stop at the cafe while I was out.Though I meant to be out for only a short time,I wound up staying until closing.Because I got pressured to doing a couple of songs and I really was not in the mood for that.I had done my entertaining the crowd on Saturday night and I simply wanted to take a breather from doing so.But again,public demand,though it was pretty small,got the better of me.Still,I had a good time and I did do a couple of good stuff.I also did it because there was a guy there who played in his own band and he really wanted to hear me.Again,it was a pretty good night despite the fact that it was brief.But I needed to get out because I felt lonely and I needed someone to talk to.It was really a bore sitting around the house and doing nothing.I had some laughs with the few guys that were there and the only lady there was the bartender.It was still great to get out and have a few laughs.I enjoyed myself and that was good.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day,my night last night and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too eventful day today.I simply ran a couple of errands for my mom and I had a quick lunch of pepperoni pizza while I was out.I really did not do too much afterwards.I just took a drive around town and simply enjoyed myself.I really did not see much of anybody I knew out so I went home and relaxed for a bit until I ate.
Earlier this evening,I had a talk with a friend from New Jersey and he is doing good.I am glad that I,at least,hear from one person who is very concerned with me.It seems that nobody else is concerned with me nor is interested.Aside from that one guy who said that he wanted to patch things up with me and has not returned one call from me for quite a while,I have been having a tough time establishing relationships with other guys.I have given my phone number to quite a bit of guys that I know and I have yet to hear from them.It seems that nobody is interested in talking to me or even interested iun letting me hang out with them.I need to have relationships with other guys in order to overcome these dreaded SSA thoughts and feelings.It seems that I am all alone in this and I have no way of trying to get out.I know the root causes of these feelings and thoughts but I am having a hard time trying to initiate something.Again,I have given my phone number to quite a few guys that I know but I have not heard from any of them,especially that aforementioned guy who always uses the same excuses like "I'm Too Busy" or even "I've Been Extraordinarily Busy.That Is Why I Have Not Done So."Why?I don't think that anybody is that busy not to return one phone call or to talk to for at least a few minutes.Is that too much to ask for?Is a few minutes of time too much to ask for?This is pathetic.I have never heard this thing about a guy being too busy to talk to someone for a few minutes nor have I heard that a person is too busy to return one phone call.I am seeing more and more each day that people care more about making more money or even materialistic goals than they do about what really is important like relationships with other people or family.I feel that relationships with others and family should be top priority and money and materialism a very distant second.Money and materialistic things can disappear as quickly as they come and if you have NO relationships with others,what good is having materialism and money dominating you as a top thing?What if you lose all of that and have nobody to lean on when it happens?Pretty scary,Huh?
Aside from that,last night I sang up a storm at the place that I entertain and it was a grand success.I had a blast.Everybody enjoyed my songs and that was great.It did make me forget about the frustrating day I had on Friday regarding the missing laundry bags.I am hoping that the mystery is solved soon.I would hate it if I had to use red bio-hazard bags to load everything again.Again,I am hoping that the mystery is solved soon.
Tomorrow is my day off.I do not know what I am going to do but I am hoping that it will be special.
That was my night last night,my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty busy day today.I had to run a couple of errands for my mother today.We were running low on food.I had to go grocery shopping today to stock up on some stuff for the next couple of days,including today.Before I did that,I stopped to say Hello to a friend and to see how he's doing.He told me that he was doing good.He also showed me that his picture was in the paper.He was at a Joan Osborne outdoor concert and I immediately caught him in the picture where the crowd was gathering.I also stopped there to show him a couple of DVD's that I bought at a Blockbuster Video store in my neck of the woods.After that,I went to do the grocery shopping.On the way home,it drippled a little.This was unexpected because there was no rain in the forecast today.It was supposed to be sunny and mild but a little bit of rain did come down.It only lasted about 20 minutes.
After I got home,I bathed and shaved.I also ate my dinner,which was a frozen TV dinner.
I am now at home relaxing.I am getting ready to entertain the crowd tonight.I am hoping that the night goes well.I rarely have an off night but I still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.But again,I am hoping for things to go well.
That was my day today and my hoped for night tonight.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.I had a pretty frustrating start to my work shift today.When I got to the pick up place to pick up the laundry,I had a tough time trying to pack the laundry in because the majority of the bags were missing.There was only one bag filled with dirty laundry and the rest of the load was all over the place.I had a pretty difficult time trying to find the missing bags.I and the rest of the staff of the pick up place,which is a drug-alcohol rehabilitation center,tried to find the missing bags but we were unsuccessful.The thing was that time was becoming a factor because I had to get to the work site to start my job and I knew that I could not waste time looking for missing bags.This was also insane because on Thursday afternoon after lunch,I dropped off two bags of clean laundry and the bags were also clean.The staff was also baffled as to what happened to the bags.But they are hoping that they can resolve this mystery/problem when the weekend is over.I am hoping that they can find at least two bags to use to put the laundry in so I have nothing to worry about.I hope that this situation can be resolved by Monday or even Tuesday.If not,I do not know what I am going to do nor the staff.
The work shift went smoothly with no negative situations.But it did not remove my frustrations that started my day.I am hoping that the weekend wil help bring my mood down.Tomorrow night is the night that I entertain the crowd and I am hoping that a successful night will help relieve me of some of the stress of the frustration that happened today.
Despite my emotional state tonight,I am still glad that the weekend is finally here.I am looking forward to tomorrow night when I will be singing up a storm and really getting some satisfaction for doing a good job in my singing.If the night is successful and the rest of the weekend goes well,I will feel a little bit better.
Again,I hope that the mystery into what happened to those bags is solved by the start of the new week.I would hate it if they had to order/purchase new bags to use for the purposes of loading the dirty laundry into them.I know that this possibly can not be avoided and if it has to be done then it has to be done.But still,I am hoping that the mystery is solved soon.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a very smooth work shift today.Nothing negative happened today on the job nor when I left for home.I simply did my job and went home.Since I now have the afternoons off on Thursday and mornings off on Friday,I am now going to use the extra time to work on my issues,mainly emotional.I have to try and work on my sanity.I have been on the verge of losing it lately and I do want to work on keeping my cool.As stated last night,I do not want to lose my temper and I do want to keep my cool because I do not want to get in trouble again.After the trouble that I got into last year,which led me to undergo anger management counseling by order of my supervisor's supervisor in order to keep my job.Since,according to my counseling,I have been making progress,I do not want to blow my wad(so to speak)and risk getting into trouble.If I am making progress as they counselors have been saying,I want to continue progressing and doing good.Yes I do.I don't want to make mistakes that could ruin me as far as my job goes.I want to keep my job and I want to keep working.I don't want to make any terrible mistakes.I want to keep doing good and continue striving towards my goals.
After dinner and when the weather cooled,I went out because I had a whole bunch of empty bottles and cans in the trunk of my car.I wanted to turn them in so when my mother needs to do her grocery shopping,there will be plenty of room in the trunk for the grocery bags to be placed in there.I had a good sum of money from turning in those bottles.After I am done here,I am going to register the bills at Where's George.When I got done,I went to a Dairy Queen in my area and bought an ice cream sandwich.I am now at home relaxing and getting ready to turn in for the night.I had a very eventful day.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the day goes smoothly.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.The pick-up went well today.I did not have any messes to clean up at the pick up point today and that was great.After I dropped off and sorted out the laundry,I made a couple of stops on the way home.I visited a friend of mine who I do not talk to very much.We had a very good conversation today as we talked about a lot of things,mostly about a couple of documentary films that I picked up on DVD about a week ago.I have not watched them as of yet but I plan to.I have a few movies that I have not watched as of yet but I plan on watching them every Friday night until I am caught up.I have just been so busy as of late that I have not been able to really watch anything.I did manage to see a movie in the last two weeks and I enjoyed that.But again,I need to catch up on some movies that I have been meaning to watch but have not had the chance.I am going to watch another movie on Friday night before I go to sleep.
Today,weatherwise,the weather was "HAZY,HOT & HUMID!"The temps were in the low 90's again.Tonight,we are supposed to get a thunderstorm and afterwards,some cooler temps stating Thursday.
My meeting with my sexual abuse support counselor went great.I talked with her a lot of what has happened over the past two weeks.I told her the problem about my attempts to reach this certain guy that I have been meaning to patch things up with for quite a while.I also pointed out that I understood why he possibly has not been returning my calls.She understood how I felt but she did point out that if I am not careful,I could lose my temper again before I know it.She also told me that I have been letting my frustrations pile up on top of each other and I am already on the verge of exploding in a rage if I keep this up.The only advice she gave me is to simply let it go for now.She also advised me that if I do call him again,simply tell him to "call me whenever he can and when he gets a chance." I said okay and that was it.Again,she said afterwards,simply move on and let it go for now and to continue exercising patience regarding this.She also said that if he is truly serious about wanting to fix things,he will call me at an opportune time when he does have the time.I am still going to try but I will let it go if I do choose to call him again.
She made me realize that this is why I am saying angry things to myself.I have been doing that as of late and I now realize why I have been doing so lately.I am going to take her advice and I will let it go.The ball is now in his court.I am also going to continue exercising patience regarding this.I do not want to lose my temper again.I have been doing pretty good regarding this and I do not want to do so.Because I could ruin myself if I do this time.That is a chance that I am not willing to take.
My support group meeting tonight at the church went great.It was great to finally let go of all the emotional baggage that I had.It was also great to hear what the other men in the group had to say as well.I also shared with them what I shared with my sexual abuse support counselor today as well.Again,it was a great meeting and I am looking forward to the 4th of July when we are going to get together at a park out in the country.I am hoping that this is a fun thing.I can hardly wait.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty smooth work day today.Since it was smooth,the day went by pretty fast with nothing negative to write about.I also had some pretty interesting conversations with some of my colleagues while having lunch.Again,a pretty smooth work day.It was a little bit easier now that I have a four door car to help with the laundry loads.It makes hauling the laundry back and forth a little bit easier.I am glad to have this.It is wonderful to have a little something to make the days go by easier.
The weather for most of the day was very HAZY,HOT & HUMID.It was in the lower 90's for most of the day.Fortunately,I had air conditioning where I work and it was cooler inside.But when I got outside,it was HOT.Right now,it has cooled down somewhat but it still feels warm.We are supposed to get rain tomorrow and then the temps are supposed to cool down a little starting Thursday.A little rain is better than nothing and I do hope that it does get a little cooler.
Tomorrow is simply a pick up day.All I have to do is pick up the laundry and sort it out at the work place.I do have a couple more things on my agenda tomorrow.I have an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor in the afternoon.Tomorrow evening,I have my support group meeting at the church.I am hoping that both of these go well.The meeting have been going well with me but I still hope for things to go well.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling very good.I had a very good day today.I finally have my new car on the road and that is the best thing to happen all day.I drove it around for most of the day.I had to get the feel of it.I also celebrated by getting a cassette adaptor for my portable CD player.It was great to listen to some CD's in my new car and that was awesome.I also bought the car to make my work a little easier.Now,my work is a little easier.I now have plenty of room for all the laundry bags and that is something.
Today,weather wise,was sunny,hazy,hot and humid.The fans were going on all day where I am living.It was a chore trying to keep the house cool.But I think that we did good.I was just enjoying the weather and enjoying my new car.It was a great day today.I had a blast and I was really enjoying life today.I know that I will be enjoying my life a little more now.But still,I have to take life one day at a time and always keep a straight face.I also have to continue keeping on guard because you never know what might happen.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ