Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.I had a pretty hectic day today.The first thing that I did today was to get my haircut.When I got to the shopping mall to where the place where I go to get my hair cut is,I saw that the parking lot was really full.I spent nearly ten minutes trying to find a parking space.I did manage to get one but it was frustrating trying to accomplish this.I was fortunate to catch a car leaving it's spot and I snatched it.After parking my car,I walked into the mall to get my hair cut.When I was leaving the mall,I had a tough time trying to find my car.I did find it but it took a bit of doing.But it was difficult in that huge parking lot.Again,I did manage to find it.
While I was waiting for my time to come,I had a slice of pizza to tie me over until dinner.When I was finished with that,I went to the hair place and my hair was cut.I also had to do a few more things before I went home.I checked on a friend of mine to see if he was doing good,which he was but his live in girlfriend was not feeling well.I also had to do some shopping for my mom and I also had to pick up some things for myself at a local Wal-Mart.When I finally accomplished everything that I set out to accomplish,I headed for home.
When I got home,I saw that my mom was not home.She was over at my sister's house having some pizza and chicken wings with some cake and ice cream for dessert.I did go over there for some and I went home after eating because I had to get ready for tonight.
When I got home again,I sorted out my stuff and I tried to complete my computer work but my computer was giving me issues.After several restarts,I finally got online.But all the stress and strain of all that happened today combined with the issues with the computer caused me to masturbate again.I feel better now but it was a big letdown for myself.I am hoping that the rest of the weekend works out for me,including tonight.
Tonight,I am going to be entertaining the crowd again as usual.I am hoping that the night goes well for me.Though I rarely,if ever,have an off night singing.I still hope for things to go well.Tomorrow will be Sunday.I have not made any plans but whatever I do,I hope that it affects me in a positive way.I also hope that Sunday is a good day.Afterwards,I can look forward to the week ahead.
That was my day today and my hopes for tonight and the rest of the weekend.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better.I had a very good day today.The work shift went by smoothly and I also had a great lunch before I began my shift.I also had some great conversations with some of the social club members while I was eating my lunch.It was wonderful to let loose some steam and have some great talks where information can be shared.Again,a great shift and a great lunch.After I dropped off the laundry at the rehab center,I went home.
After I got home,I had to drop my mom off at the supermarket so she could get some shopping done.While she was shopping,I went to another supermarket to turn in some empty bottles and cans that had accumulated in my trunk over the past few weeks.While I was busy putting the aluminum cans in the proper deposit machines,I saw a couple of people that I had not seen in a while.It was the bartender from the previous bar that I used to entertain at before it closed and her daughter.I talked with them both for only a couple of minutes while they were leaving the market and after that,I went to pick up my mom at the other supermarket and hoped that she would be done when I got there.She wasn't but she almost was and I simply helped her to get it done.After that,we went home.
When we got home,I checked my computer to see if my usual weekly virus scan was done and it was.I am also glad to say that my computer was clean with no viruses or spyware on it.That was great.After that,we had a light dinner.
I am glad that the weekend is here.I will be doing my usual entertaining the crowd tomorrow night and I am hoping that it goes well.I always enjoy entertaining the crowd every Saturday night.It always goes great and it's always a blast.I can hardly wait for that tomorrow night.Again,I am hoping that it goes well.
Earlier this evening,I made my mom a CD for her birthday.It is a compilation of Teresa Brewer songs that I had in my singles and old fashioned 78's collections.My mom likes Teresa Brewer and I am hoping that she enjoys this CD that I made for her.I hope that it makes her happy.Her birthday is tomorrow.Again,I am hoping that she enjoys it.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.I had a pretty smooth work day today and I had a wonderful meeting with my sexual abuse support counselor.I also managed to buy a new portable CD player today and even a new car adaptor where I can plug it into my car cigarette lighter socket.It played better than my previous one,especially the CD-R's that I made of a few of my vinyl albums.
But it all took a turn for the worse when I got an extremely rude awakening in my mail today.I got a letter from another area in the county that I live in.The letter was from the Police department in that area.My niece is on my insurance and her vehicle is on my vehicle registration.The letter was a reminder to pay for a parking ticket that she received last year over the Thanksgiving weekend.Apparently,she stayed too long in a NO PARKING zone and was issued a parking citation.I knew nothing about it until I got that letter in the mail today.This really put me at edge and my emotional state today drastically changed.The worse part of it was that all of that unneeded and even unwanted stress and strain that I received from this really got me in such a tizzy that I masturbated,which really made me feel bad afterwards.But I am feeling a little bit better.I am just hoping that this does not happen for quite a while because I did this for her as a favor because she needed her vehicle to go back and forth to work and take her children to school.But when things like this happen,it sends my SSA up too many notches and my emotional state worsens.Again,I hope that this doesn't happen again or for quite a while.I hate it when stuff like this happens.
I am now relaxing.I am also anticipating the day ahead.I am hoping that the day works out well tomorrow.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.I also have to take my mom grocery shopping because we need to get groceries in the house before the holiday rush happens.I am hoping that this also goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.The laundry pick up that I had to do went over well.There was no mess to clean up and that made me feel happier.I just hate to pick up after people who can pick up after themselves.It made me feel pretty good.When I got to the work site,I dropped off and sorted out the laundry and after paying everyone at the social club a visit,I left for home.
After I got home,I simply relaxed for a bit.I also finished my personal computer work,which I started this morning before I went to do the laundry pick-up.It was a pretty good day.I also went to a Target in my area and checked out their stock of portable CD players that I can hook up to my car's radio w/cassette player.I have been trying to find a portable CD player that will play CD-R's better.The current one that I have doesn't play them too well.I guess that when this one was made,they really did not make it to really play CD-R's.But again,I am going to buy a new one when I can and I am hoping that it works out better for me.
My support group meeting at the church went over great.Our first meeting in two weeks and it was super.It was great to be around the men again and just be a man.It was wonderful to have them to listen and also to listen to them.A lot of us have issues in our lives that we are trying to resolve and sometimes,a group of this sort is the best thing to have.There are not a lot of support groups out there which can accomodate this sort of thing.Again,a wonderful meeting and I am looking forward to the next meeting.
When I was out,I got a call from somebody that I have been trying to get ahold of for a long time.He finally called and it was a relief that I heard from him.He said that he would call me tomorrow night and we can talk then.I look forward to talking to him.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes over well.I also have an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor tomorow and I hope that this goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good work day today.The work day went by smoothly.I did the pick-up at the rehab center and there was NO mess to clean.That was great.When I arrived at the work site,I seperated the laundry and started working immediately.It was pretty smooth.There was no work left behind by the previous days workers and that was good.After my job was done,I bagged the clean laundry and dropped it off at the rehab center and went to a supermarket in the area and picked up a few things for dinner.Afterwards,I went home.
Earlier today,before I went to work,I voted.It was my duty and I did it.It is also an end to all the negative campaign TV and newspaper ads that are rampant whenever this day rolls around and it does get irritating and monotonous after a while when you hear too much.I am just glad that the day is about over.
I am now at home relaxing.I am just anticipating the day ahead.
Earlier this evening,I went to a Radio Shack in my area and asked for some advice on portable CD players.I do have one but lately,it has not been performing up to par.It has been shutting off at times and when I try to play a burned CD from my CD recorder,it does not play at all too well.But when I try them out on my CD-ROM drive on my computer,they play beautifully with no problems.I guess that I have to look at buying a new portable in the near future when I have some money.OH WELL!
Tomorrow is a pick-up day.I am hoping that there is no mess to clean up.I am hoping that I can just pick up and drop off at the work site.Tomorrow night is my support group meeting at the church.I am hoping that the meeting goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day and night ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.I did not do too much.I simply went to the post office to mail out a money order.I also had to pay an installment on my line of credit at the bank today beforehand.Afterwards,I simply went back home.
The only thing was that I woke up late when I wanted to wake up early.Oh well.
The rest of the day's activities were not an awful lot.I simply did some personal stuff.Not too special.I also went to check up on another friend of mine who lived a few blocks down from me.He and his wife and family are doing good.That made me feel good.
The only other things that I did today was that I went to get dinner at a Subway restaurant in my area and they were having a customer appreciation day.It was where you could get two 6 inch subs when you bought two 21 ounce drinks.I simply bought two Hi-C's and the cost was only $3.00 even.That was great.The sandwiches were fresh as well and they tasted really good.It was a good dinner.It was also something different for a change over fast food,which is sometimes what we have on certain Monday's when my mom is not in the mood to cook.Again,it was a wonderful meal and then some.
My anger management/conflict resolution group went great.We talked about a lot of things.It was wonderful having people listnening and hearing me.It was also great to listne and hear them.It was a great meeting.Next Monday,there will not be a meeting due to it being Veteran's Day next week.There will be one in two weeks.It will be a pretty good wait but I'm going to hang in there.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.Tomorrow is also Election Day.It will be a day where we elect new officials.I am hoping that it works out for the good of everybody.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty decent day today.I really did not do too much.I ran an errand for my mom and I also went to get a few slices of pizza to munch on.The day was also not too bad weatherwise.The sun was shining but it was pretty cool weatherwise.At least,it was not bitterly cold.I also stopped in a few stores on the way home from running the errands.I did not buy too much but still,I had a pretty good time simply window shopping.Overall,a pretty decent day.
My night of entertaining the crowd went great.I had a pretty good time.It was great to sing up a storm from the crowd and as always,they appreciated it.It is great to sing for a bunch of appreciative people.I am looking forward to doing it again next Saturday night.I have not decided what I am going to do yet for next week but whatever it is,I hope that the crowd is as appreciative as they were last night.
I am now at home relaxing.I had a light dinner tonight and it filled me up.I am also anticipating what I might do for the rest of the night.I mighyt just take it easy for a while and I am hoping that whatever I do,I hope that it helps me in a positive way.I am thinking of going out and having a friendoly drink with a few of the guys tonight.If I do,I hope that there are lots of guys to talk to and the conversations are also great.
Tomorrow is my day off.I do have my anger management/conflict resolution group tomorrow night.I am hoping that the meeting goes over well.Aside from the day,I hope that whatever I choose to do,I hope that it also affects me in a positive way.
That was my day today,alongside my hopes for the night and the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.I went to the post office to mail out some bills for my mom and myself.I was glad that I had that accomplished.The bills will now be paid when they get to where they are going.Afterwards,I went over to a friends house to check up on him and his live-in girlfriend and they are okay as well.The only thing is that they are feeling "under the weather" for now.I also went over there because I had to give him something and he appreciated it.That made me feel good.Afterwards,I left to finish what I had to do.I was also running another errand for my mom.I got everything that she was needing and that is great.
I am glad that the weekend is finally here.I am looking forward to singing up a storm for my friends tonight.I am hoping that the night goes well for me.Though I rarely,if ever,have an off night,I still hope for thinsg to go well.You never know what might happen.Still,the nights always go pretty good.I am not worried.I have a feeling that everything is going to go great for me tonight.But I still hope for things to go well.
For most of the day when I got home,I was having computer issues.I kept turning off and even restarting my computer to get it working good.After several attempts,I finally succeeded in getting the computer to work.I have done my computer work and I am glad that I have gotten that accomplished.
Tomorrow is Sunday.I have not made up my mind as to what I am going to do tomorrow.But whatever I do,I hope that it works out and affects me in a positive way.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.My work shift went smoothly but I am feeling a little sadness tonight as I had heard from a friend that I had just made over the past several days is not going to be communicating with me for a while.I am sad.She left comments on here for me and that actually made me feel good that somebody was finally reading them and we were communicating for the past several days via e-mail but now,she has said that she will not be communicating with me for quite a while because of some issues that she is going through.I am sad because of this.But I am hoping that she is feeling better soon and that she will be communicating with me soon.I am going to miss her.
But as stated,the work shift went by smoothly.I am glad for that.The pick-up went great with no mess to clean up and the rest of the day went over well.After the shift was over,I dropped the laundry off at the rehab center and I cashed my paycheck before heading for home.
After I got home,I tried to go online but my computer wouldn't let me.I also had to restart my computer several times when this happened because when I did get an internet window,I got "That Page Can Not Be Displayed" over and over again.But I finally got online after dinner and when I did,I registered a whole bunch of bills at Where's George.I also managed to get some more e-mail work done.I also did a thorough scan on my computer to see if there was any viruses or spyware on my computer and once again,my computer was clean.There was nothing in it to worry me.That is great.I can now breathe a sigh of relief,at least until next week when I do another one.
I am glad that the weekend is finally here.I am looking forward to singing up a storm tomorrow night.I am hoping that the night goes over well.I rarely have a bad night but I still hope for things to go well.For Sunday,I have not made any plans but whatever I do,I hope that it will benefit me in a positive way.
Tomorrow,I am going to be checking up on a friend to see if he and his live-in girlfriend are okay.I also have a surprise for him and I hope that he likes it.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.My day did not start too good.One of the employees who worked in the same building that I did actually parked he car in a spot and took a little bit too much space.I did ask her nicely and politely if she would move her car a little bit so I wouldn't be blocking the sidewalk because I would get a parking ticket if I were.She flat out refused to do it.This really did not settle in too good with me.I needed to park as close to the building as possible because I have to haul laundry bags back and forth on a constant basis and I need to be as close to the building where I work in as possible so I can place the bags in the back seat of my car.Instead of arguing with the lady,I simply found another place to park and when the shift was over,I simply drove into the spot to pack the laundry bags in the back seat.Fortunately,the rest of the day went by smoothly but I was still just a tad bit at edge for what happened at the start of the day.The pick-up went well.There was no mess to clean but I really did not appreciate the inconsiderate nature of this female staff person not caring about what she was doing wrong and not even caring about the way I felt about it.I guess that you can't win them all.But at least,the rest of the shift went by well enough.
Before I went home,I had to stop at the post office to mail out an important business letter for my mom.It just had to get to where it is going to go.I mailed it out immediately after I dropped off the laundry at the rehab center.After doing that,I went home.
When I got home,I got a package that I had been waiting on for the past few days.I was glad to see that it finally arrived.It was another episode of the classic educational series Big Blue Marble.It was wonderful to see another episode of this.I used to watch this show when I was younger and it was great to learn how other kids in other countries did for fun in their spare time.I also got a wonderful surprise from the guy I ordered the episode from and that made me feel great.I sent him a couple of things and he was thankful enough to sent me something extra.It was awesome getting this.I was waiting on this for the past few days.How wonderful.I also watched the episode and it was wonderful as well.I am going to order another episode of this show from him soon.I will mail the payment out on Monday.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that it goes smoother than today.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Happy Halloween Everybody!
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty decent day today.The laundry pick-up went well.There was only one minor problem with one of the rehab center's clients putting dirty slacks in the bags meant for the dirty blankets,linens and comforters.But I did report it to the staff at the center and they said that they would look into it.After dropping off the laundry and sorting it out at the work site,I went to have lunch at the social club and that was good.After I ate,I hung around for a while and chit chatted with some of the people and I went home afterwards.
My support group meeting at the church was cancelled tonight due to the church having a Halloween party for the kids.While I was disappointed,I did have a nice ride out in the countryside for a while.I even stopped to admire a nicely decorated house with all the horror movie icons all over the front yard.It was awesome seeing that.Not only that,as a nice trick,the house owner even dressed up as the Grim Reaper and stood quietly to see if any kids would come by so he could give them a friendly BOO! when they decided to do just that.It did scare the daylights out of two kids that came by and it just made me laugh when he did that.I did not want to give anything away so I let the house owner have his fun.Again,it was an awesome sight seeing that house decorated with all the horror movie icons.It actually made me wish that I was a kid again.Regarding Halloween,it is the only holiday where I really miss childhood.I used to love going trick or treating on Halloween and getting all sorts of candy.I remember one Halloween going out years ago,I actually found a 20 Dollar bill on the ground that somebody had lost and didn't know it.That was the most money that I ever made on Hallowen night.It was also my luckiest night.I still remember the night very well to this day.Again,I really miss childhood whenever Halloween rolls around.Still,I always feel like a kid at heart whenever I watch a horror movie.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling very good.I had a great day today.My work day went by smoothly and that was great.After I left work,I went home to relax and take it easy for a bit before doing some stuff for my mom and myself.I went to a small store to get a roll of paper towels for my mom and I went to a Salvation Army thrift shop in my hometown and bought a few more recrd albums to add to my ever growing vinyl collection.I also bought a cover to use to cover up the new nostalgic looking compact stereo with a CD recorder.It is an awesome system.I am now making my own CD's and that is great.I am having a wonderful time making all of them.It is truly awesome.
I also watched It's The Great Pumpkin,Charlie Brown on TV tonight and even though I have seen this animated cartoon special lots of times,I still enjoy it.Another Peanuts special followed called You're Not Elected,Charlie Brown and that too was also pretty good.During the time that the former was on,I remarked to my mom that I wished that Charles M.Schulz were still alive.If he were,I would've wrote to him and suggested that he make another Peauts Halloween special where The Great Pumpkin actually appears at the end of the special and wishes everyone a Happy Halloween while it would rain candy on the ground rather than toys as Linus keep saying.It would also have the rest of the Peanuts gang scared out of their wits actually witnessing this happening and staring in disbelief.Afterwards,The Great Pumpkin would disappear and all the gang would help Linus pick up all the candy.That is what would be my suggestion if he were still alive today and I would have wrote to him.
I am now at home relaxing.It is great to be home.The weather is cool and there is really no place to go.I am simply getting ready for the new day ahead.
Tomorrow is simply a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick-up goes well with no messes to clean up.I also have a support group meeting at the church tomorrow night.I am hoping that the meeting also goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.I did not do too much.I simply stayed home and took it easy for a while.There really wasn't much to do.The day was pretty cold and there was limited sunshine.But I did manage to find something to do at home.I simply recorded one of my vinyl albums on CD today.I also managed to record a couple of them previously late last night/early this morning.They actually came out pretty good.I even tried them out on a few CD players at home and they came out beautifully.It was great making those.I am going to be stocking up on these in the near future so I can make more.I am thinking of making a few for my mom.I think that she would like that.Again,I stayed home and took it easy for much of the day.It was still fun and I did something that was fun.
I just got back from my anger management/conflict resolution group meeting and it went great.It was wonderful to relieve myself of more emotional baggage that had accumulated over the past few days.It was wonderful.It is also great to have a support network that really wants to help and see that you get a lot out of it.I am looking forward to next week.I am hoping that the next meeting goes well enough.
Tomorrow is simply a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day and my hopes for the work day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a very good day today.I did not do too much.I just ran another errand for my mom to pick up a few things for dinner tonight.We simply had frozen mini pizzas with a little bit of something extra on top of the pizzas.It was great.I also managed to stop at a few stores to look around and that was great to simply window shop.I did not find too much in them though I did manage to pick up a couple packs of recordable music CDR's so I can start making my own CD's.Overall,a pretty good day.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd was a huge success.I had a blast last night just singing up a storm and feeding some of the candy that they were handing out to all the patrons.Yes,the party was awesome.There were lots of people dressed up for the big Halloween party and the party was also a blast.I had a great time entertaining the crowd last night.I also had a great time just talking with the patrons and sharing lots of fun and enthusiasm with everybody.I enjoy entertaining the crowd as I always do.I always look forward to doing just that each and every Saturday night.I am looking forward to doing it again next week and I am hoping that it is as much a blast as it is every Saturday night.
I am at home relaxing at the moment.The evening is cool and I am feeling rather comfortable at home.I may go out tonight just to have a nice friendly drink with the gang at the place.Afterwards,I'll just relax and I might watch a movie before I turn in for the night.
Tomorrow is my day off.I do have a meeting with my anger management/conflict resolution support group tomorrow evening.I am hoping that the meeting goes well.
That was how it went for me last night and today,including my anticipation for the rest of night.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling hopeful and optimistic.I had a pretty decent day today.I had to run another errand for my mom and I also went too check up on a friend of mine to see if he and his live-in girlfriend were okay.I was happy to see that they were okay.I spent a few minutes talking with him and he said that he is hoping to make it out tonight to the Halloween party tonight over at the place where I entertain on Saturday nights.I am hoping to see him tonight and I am hoping that the night goes well.
Yes,I will be going out to entertain the crowd as always.I am hoping that it will be a great night for me.As stated,tonight is going to be a big Halloween party over at the place.I know that it will be a really fun and busy night for the people and the place.Though I always look forward to entertaining the people on Saturday night,I really look forward to the yearly Halloween party that always happens around this week during this month.There is always going to be plenty of people dressing up and having a ball.There is always lots of food,including pepperoni pizza galore.It is just a happening party that happens every year.As always,I am going to sing my usual Halloween standard songs alongside a couple more favorite songs.I hope that the evening goes well for me.As I always state here;though I rarely,if ever,have an off night singing up a storm for the crowd every Saturday night,I still always hope for things to go well for me.You never know what might happen.Again,I hope that the night goes over well.
Tomorrow is Sunday.I have not really made any plans for tomorrow but whatever I do,I hope that it will benefit me in a positive way.I just might finish up sorting out things in my room like I started today.
That was my day today and night tonight as well my hopes for the rest of the weekend.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good work day today.This time,there were no loads left behind by anyone.That was really neat.The only thing for me to do was to do a couple of loads and cal it a day.With this,the work shift went by great.It was also fast.Before I did begin my job,I had lunch at the social club and it was very good.After I finished with the loads,I simply dropped off the clean laundry at the rehab center and went home.
After relaxing for a short time at home.I went to cash my paycheck at the bank and to pick up a couple of boxes of herbal tea.When I arrived at home,I had dinner and after doing some more personal computer work,I did a scan on my computer for viruses and once again,my computer is clean.There were no security risks or threats in my database.That really made my night.What also really made my night was that the Buffalo Sabres won tonight.They defeated the Florida Panthers by a score of 4-2.After losing their last few games,it was great to see them win tonight.That was terrific.
I am glad that the weekend is finally here.This week seemed to go by slowly but surely.It just seemed to drag on very slowly.But I am glad that it's here.I will be doing my usual entertaining the crowd tomorrow night.Tomorrow night is a big Halloween party at the place where I entertain.I can hardly wait for that tomorrow night.It is going to be a really busy night.I can almost anticipate a really big crowd.I always look forward to these Halloween parties every year because the place is booming with people dressed up and having a good time.I especially like the parties for all the food that is served,including lots of pepperoni pizza.I am looking forward to tomorrow night.I am going to be doing my usual Halloween standard songs alongside a couple of other favorites.I am hoping that the night goes well for me.
That was my day today and my hopes for tomorrow night.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I did not have a good work day today.When I arrived at the work site,I was greeted by the sight of seeing the washers still filled.Apparently,the person who worked the previous afternoon did not finish his job.When I arrived this morning,I had to finish his job and this really blew my schedule out of proportion.The person left blankets in the washer and they were really soaked.Not only that,he also overloaded the washer.There were 4 blankets in the washer when there were supposed to be only three.I did remind one of the supervisor's about the problem and they said that they would take care of it.I had to spent most of the morning trying to do a few things that I had to do and finish the other person's job that should have been finished the previous day.Again,I did handle it the normal way and I hope that a resolution is reached.
After work,I dropped off the clean laundry at the rehab center and went home.I relaxed for a while before I dropped my mom at the supermarket to do some grocery shopping and I went to another supermarket to turn in some bottles and cans that accumulated over the last several weeks in my trunk.After that,I went to a couple of other stores to see where I could get DVD-R's cheap and went to pick my mom up from shopping.Of course,the money that I had from all the bottles went for dinner tonight but I will get it back on the 1st of next month.I was planning to use that money for gas but I guess that at times,we have to give of ourselves to help our families.But again,I will get it back on the 1st of November.I am also getting paid tomorrow so it is also not a big loss.Once again,I am going to get it back on the 1st of November.
I am now relaxing.The night is pretty cool but I am not going anywhere.I am just going to take it easy for the rest of the evening until I go to sleep.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hoped for day tomorrow.FJ

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Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.I had a pretty good work day today.But for most of the day,it rained.It rained so hard that my mom was hoping to get some grocery shopping done but we didn't due to the rain.But I did manage to get one thing done.My mom had me run an errand for her tonight.It was simple.I had to get some coffe from the store and some snacking food.Afterwards,I went to a local K-Mart to see if they had some Buffalo Sabres T-Shirts but they did not have any.All they had were shirts of the Buffalo Bills and New York Yankees.I was disappointed.I was hoping to find some more of them but didn't.Oh Well.I asked there and they told me that they did not know when they were going to get them in.I just bought a gallon of milk and left for home.I was hoping to catch the yearly special called It's The Great Pumpkin,Charlie Brown but later learned when I got home that it was next week.Oh well.At least,I now know that it will be on next Tuesday.
The reason why I am feeling mixed emotions is that I relapsed again for the second consecutive time.I masturbated again.I was trying to take a nap when the old images of men begging me to relieve them were lining up wanting oral sex.I wound up masturbating after playing with myself.Though I did ask God to forgive me,I still feel miserable.If I am thinking of "never masturbating again",then I need to STOP thinking of that.I have to accept that I am going to relapse when I least expect it.But I do know that I do not want to have sex with another man.I also looked at some pornographic images online as well just before signing on to here.I really need some help.I am going crazy.All I am thinking of is having sex with men.I don't want to have sex with a man.Because I have not had any sex with any men for a long time.I do not want to do that because I know that if I do that,I am going to be back to the same old dull and pointless routine all over again.It will be back to the pattern of giving blowjobs constantly to different guys and looking forward to an eternity of "one-blow stands" where I am enslaved to the image of a man with an erect penis and wanting to suck it until it ejaculates in my mouth.I don't want to go back to that.Because it's not what I am looking for.I am looking for healthy relationships with other guys where I can be a guy and be one of the guys.That is what I want.What I don't want are guys one minute saying to me;"I Like You.You're A Great Guy.I Like Having You Around" and then the next minute "Hey,Dude.Do You Want To Suck My Cock?"The former is what I am looking for.It is not the latter.After my prayers tonight and then tomorrow.I am hoping that I feel better.That would be great.
Tomorrow is simply a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick up goes well without any mess to clean up.I also have my support group meeting at the church tomorrow night.I am also hoping that the meeting goes well,too.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a very good day today.I ran a small errand for my mom today and that was to buy something for tonight's dinner.I also had to pick up a prescription refill for myself at a local drug store.I called in the refill over the phone when I woke up and took my last pill.It was for my high blood pressure.I have been checking it lately and so far,it has been pretty good.It has been in the 130's range but as long as it does not go any higher,I am okay.
Last night,I went to see the musical Hairspray and it was awesome.I was hoping that it was going to be just as good as the original 1988 film that inspired the Broadway musical of the same name and then inspired the movie.Again,my hopes for it to be as good as the original film were actually fulfilled.Not only that,it was actually better than I hoped that it would be.The movie was filled with music and even a little bit of comedy mixed in to sweeten it.It was great.I enjoyed every minute of it.It was an awesome movie with a surprising ending.John Travolta was wonderful as Mrs.Edna Turnblad.You can tell by watching this film that he was having the time of his life portraying Mrs.Turnblad just singing and dancing away and again,simply having a ball.The best thing about me seeeing this film was that I was the only person in the theatre watching the movie.There was nobody else in the theatre with me.I was the lone member of the audience.That actually made me enjoy it more.Aside from John Travolta,the whole cast was wonderful as well.It was nearly 2 hours of singing,dancing and comedy.I am going to get this on DVD when it comes out.I have the original 1988 film on DVD and now,I am going to buy this version the minute that it hits the shelves.Again,an awesome movie.
After I saw the movie,I went to have a friendly drink with some of the gang at the place that I entertain at.I only stayed a few minutes and left.The Karaoke DJ almost took it personally when I wasn't planning on singing.I simply told him that it was nothing personal against him and that I was only coming in for a vistit and have a nice friendly drink with the gang.We shook hands and hopefully,that made him feel better.
I went to my anger management/conflict resolution meeting tonight and it was wonderful.I got quite a bit out of it tonight.The only setback was that a man who came there left after 20 minutes saying that this was not helping him.But we moved on and it was wonderful.I am looking forward to the next meeting next Monday night.The only other thing going on is my weekly support group meeting at the church on Wednesday night.I am hoping that this meeting goes just as well as tonight's meeting that I attended did.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my night last night as well my hopes for the day ahead.FJ