Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better.I had a pretty good day today.It was not too eventful but I did manage to get a few things done today.I helped my mom out around the house today and I also had a little talk with a friend who I have not spoken with in quite a while.It was nice and I did have a great conversation with him in the short time that we talked.But again,I was happy to hear from him and I was also happy to talk with him.Overall,a pretty good day.
I can't believe that the New Year's weekend is upon us.I am going out tonight to entertain the crowd.But I am also going to do it again on New Year's Eve.The New Year's time is a very busy time for me as an entertainer.The Christmas Holiday weekend was busy but the New Year's holiday weekend is going to be the busiest.There will be a lot of people coming in and that is a plus.I always look forward to singing every Saturday night because I enjoy doing that.But this weekend is the New Year's holiday weekend and I am looking forward to it.After that not so Merry Christmas that I had,I am hoping that the New Year's holiday weekend makes up for that.If the New Year's holiday works out for the better and I have a blast as I usually do,than I can say that it was a very wonderful holiday season.Again,after that not so Merry Christmas that I had this year,a wonderful New Year's weekend will make up for that.I am hoping that the holiday weekend will work out.Though I rarely,if ever,have an off night entertaining the crowds anytime,I still hope for everything to go well.You never know what might happen.But I am feeling very optimistic.I have a feeling that the whole holiday weekend will be wonderful.
Regarding tomorrow,I have not decided what I am going to do but whatever I do,I hope that it will affect me in a positive manner.
That was my day today and my hopes for the entire holiday weekend.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better though I am still at edge.The only reason why I am feeling better is that I found out last night that my father was no longer in town.He left at the same time that my flight attendant sister left town.Fortunately for my flight attendant sister,he flew on a different airline and not the one my sister works for.Good thing.I was relieved to hear that my father is no longer in town.He's on the way home at the moment or he could be already home.But still,I can now relax and take it easy.He's no longer in town and I am hoping that the New Year's Weekend will make me forget about that.If I can get through New Year's unscathed,then I can say that it was a nice holiday season for me.I am looking forward to the New Year's festivities because I can ring in the new year with my friends and I will also be soinging for them.I am hoping that the weekend goes well enough.
The work shift went by well.There were no messes to clean up at the drug/alcohol rehab center and it wasn't an awful lot to pick up either.After I was done,I dropped the laundry off and I went to cash my paycheck and make an important deposit into my checking account so I can pay a bill that I need to pay online on either Sunday or Monday.Afterwards,I went home.
I did a scan on my computer and once again,my computer is clean with no viruses or spyware.While the scan was going on,I ate and I went out to turn in some bottles that had accumilated in my trunk.It was an awful lot in there and it got me a little over $14.00 in cash.It is good money and is much needed.I also had to get rid of them because I needed to keep my trunk clean so my mom and I can put groceries in the trunk whenever needed.
I am now at home relaxing.It has been a pretty eventful day.I am now feeling hopeful that the weekend will go well and I am hoping that it will work out.Still,I also have the feeling that all will go well and I will have a wonderful weekend.
As stated,the New Years weekend is upon us and I am hoping that all will go well for me.
That was my day today and my hopes for the rest of the holiday weekend.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.But I am feeling hopeful.I am hoping that things will start to brighten after the new year begins.The work shift went by smoothly and I had a wonderful lunch.But I was still feeling anger and depression over what happened on Christmas.The mere fact that my father came into town unannounced with my flight attendant in town also was still fresh in my mind.I know that my flight attendant sister is probably back to work as I am typing this up but the negative emotions and feelings that I felt throughout the weekend were still fresh.Though I had a pretty work day and a nice lunch period after my work was done.I still felt the pangs of negativity and anger.I felt them so much that I actually masturbated earlier this afternoon after I got home from work.Of course,I did ask for forgiveness from God above and I felt better.But the negative vibes that I felt are still fresh.I could not get over having my father in town at the same time my flight attendant sister was in town and staying at my nurse sister's house.I really did not like that situation.It was not a very good situation.But I am hoping that my father is going home soon so I can forget about him being here.He always comes when you least expect him and when he turns up,it's usually at a pretty not too good of a time.
Again,I am hoping that New Year's Eve will make me forget about him being here.If that goes well enough,I can say that it wasn't such a bad holiday season after all.If my New Year's Eve goes well and I have a blast partying up a storm and entertaining the crowd,then,that will make up for that unexpected turn of events on Christmas.I just hope that my nurse sister does not find out where I am at this year for New Year's.At the moment,I am not too fond of her for what happened on Christmas.I mean,my father could have called and asked if it was a good time for him to be in town.She also could have encouraged my father to see if there were any motel/hotel rooms available for staying at within town.But I guess that you can't always get what you want.But what I would've appreciated was some consideration for my feelings.My nurse sister has never shown any consideration for my feelings nor has she cared.I think that it's about time that she has.I just can't stand this stuff anymore.This whole thing STINKS!
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the New Year's weekend and I am hoping that the weekend goes well enough for me to help me forget the negativisms that took place on during the Christmas weekend.
That was my day today and my hopes for the remainder of the week and the upcoming New Year's holiday weekend.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a little down in the dumps.The pick-up today went well and there was no mess to clean up at the drug/alcohol rehab center when I did the pick up.But the reason why I am depressed is because of the lackluster holiday that I had.It would have been a nicer day if my father hadn't shown up unannounced while my flight attendant sister was in town for the holiday.It just didn't feel right having these two in the same room or even the same house together.This was mainly because she couldn't stand the sight of him after he insulted her occupation when she graduated from flight attendant school and woudl not even help her with a minor financial problem that she had to attain that.Fortunately,my sister got help from another source and she succeeded.The worst part of it was when he insulted her occupation and even compared it with prostitution.That really hurt her so much that she has refused to speak with him for a long time.Apparently,my nurse sister still is holding on to the illusion that everything is okay and there is nothing to be angry about.But that latter sister is wrong.Forgiveness does not mean that everything is okay.Forgiveness really does not erase everything done.It does not erase pain,nor does it erase sadness or any other feelings that go along with it.Everything is never always okay.Forgiveness may be divine but it does not erase anything that is etched in stone.Once you cause pain on someone,though you are forgiven,that pain stays and stays.
But anyway,the 2nd phase of the holiday season is past.The 3rd and final phase will be New Year's.With the new year,it brings new hope and it brings new beginnings.If my New Years goes well,I can then say that it was a nice holiday season.As stated,I will be going out to sing for my friends on New Years and I am hoping that the night is a real blast.I know that it is only a few days away but I am looking forward to it.
We had take out pizza for dinner tonight.My mom did not feel like cooking tonight so we had pizza from a local Pizza Hut.It was wonderful.It was deep dish pizza.It was delicious.
I am now at home relaxing.I am anticipating the work day tomorrow.I am hoping that the shift goes by smoothly and I am hoping that the rest of the day afterwards goes well enough.I do have a lot to do after work tomorrow and I am hoping that it can be accomplished.
As stated,tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes smoothly tomorrow.
That was my day today and my hopes for tomorrow and the rest of the holiday week.FJ

Merry Christmas Everybody!
Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.The holiday did turn out better than I thought it would and everything went well.But I am still feeling anger at my father due to what he has done to our family.I am also feeling anger at my sister who lives here in the city that I live in.How can she go about saying that everything's okay when everything really is not okay?My father inflicted so much pain in the family and tries to blame everyone else but himself.Plus,him coming into town unannounced with my other sister who is a flight attendant in town despite her feelings for him did not rub me the right way.After I ate dinner,I took a little ride around town for a bit before going home.I needed to look around he town and think a little bit.Plus,I really needed to get rid of these feelings of anger that I had.After the drive,I went home to be by myself.
When I did get home.I popped in the movie Planet Terror in the DVD player part of my VCR/DVD Combo.I saw this movie several months ago at a movie theatre in my hometown when it was a part of the super long movie Grindhouse w/Death Proof as the latter film w/fake preview trailers to spice it up a bit to make it look like we are actually a double feature.But when released on DVD,they were released separate rather than as one.But I needed to watch something to eleviate the boredom and negative feelings that I had and watching Planet Terror took my mind off of my father being in town and the negative vibes that I was feeling.Planet Terror is a spoof of zombie flicks so it really wasn't scary but it was funny and action packed.It is a very entertaining movie that is not a waste of time.It was great.Again,it took my mind off of the negative vibes that I was feeling.If the rest of the week goes by well and if I have a wonderful New Year's Eve,than I'll be alright.I am also hoping that my father will leave town soon so I can even forget that he was here.I was thinking of going out for a drink tonight but I do have to get up in the morning for work to do a laundry pick up and I need some sleep for that.Not only that,I am still feeling somewhat at edge over the negative vibes so I felt that it would be better if stayed home rather than go out.Besides,I need to get up in the morning anyway and I can wait until Saturday night to go out.There is also New Year's Eve to go out as well so I am going to have fun for 2 nights before this month is out.After New Year's Day is over,the holiday season will be officially over.I will be sad to see it end but I will also be happy about it as well so I can forget some of the negativisms that happened over the course of the holiday season this year.
As stated,tomorrow is simply a pick up day.I am hoping that the pick up goes over well with no messes or hassles.After that,I can take it easy for the rest of the day.
That was my day today and my hopes for tomorrow and the rest of the holiday week.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.I had a pretty hectic day today.It would not be hectic if it were not for my father being in town coming in unannounced and when I wanted to drop something off and asked for help in bringing it in,they simply got angry at me and I had to bring it in myself.This really disgusted me.It is bad enough that my father just wizzes into town unannounced with my flight attendant sister in town for the holiday at the same time but not helping me with a simple task so I could be on my way in a hurry was a little too much for me to take.I had to bring it in myself and left disgustedly.
I am now at home relaxing.But I am still feeling perterbed over what happened.I have talked to a lot of people that I know and even they said that it was inconsiderate of my father not calling to say that he was coming into town.I also have the feeling that my sister who lives in this town actually set it up for him to be here at the same time as my other sister.Don't ask me how and why I have this feeling but I do have it.I also have a feeling that something terrible is going to happen and I am hoping that it doesn't.The holiday is tomorrow and instead of feeling joy,happiness and anticipation,I am feeling angry and at edge.Again,though I have the feeling that something is going to happen tomorrow,I hope that nothing happens.I want to enjoy the holiday and I want to be happy but I am feeling depressed and anger.But then again,depression is anger turned inward.Again,I hope that the holiday is nice and I am hoping to Heaven that nothing negative happens.If anyone is reading this,please say a prayer for me that nothing happens tomorrow while I am at my local sister's house.Thanks in advance.
As stated,tomorrow is the Christmas holiday.I hope that the holiday goes well despite the negative circumstances that is going on at the moment.
That was my hectic day today and my hopes for the holiday tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had yet another not too eventful day.I simply ran another last minute errand for my mom and I also managed to pick up something for myself along the way.Not only that,I also had to get some gas for my car so it will be full.
At the moment,the weather is windy and the winds are really blowing hard.Earlier today,we also had sleet falling for a short time.But other than that,it has been blowing wind like crazy and the winds are blowing strong and hard.The region that I am living is under a High Wind Warning until early tomorrow morning.Right now,the wind is blowing and the winds are blowing strong and hard.
I am now at home relaxing.My mom and I watched another holiday special tonight while we were eating.It was Ziggy's Gift.It's a Christmas special starring the comic strip Ziggy wanting to spread some holiday cheer to everyone.It's a pity that this is only a Christmas special and there are no other Ziggy cartoons available for everyday watching.Still,it was wonderful to watch and after Christmas,I know that I have to put my Christmas videos and DVD's away until next year.But for now,I am just going to sit and enjoy them while the season lasts.
Last night,the Christmas party was a blast.I sang some Christmas songs last night and ate too much pizza.But I enjoyed myself and I the crowd enjoyed my selections and it was all wonderful.Again,the party was a blast and I had a blast entertaining the crowd.My next party night to entertain will be New Year's Eve.I am looking forward to that as well.I also have my night to entertain the Saturday night prior to New Year's Eve and I'm also looking forward to that.It's hard to believe that the holiday season is upon us and that Christmas is almost here,which will be in 2 more days.While I do enjoy this time of the year very much,it is also a relief when it's over with.It takes very long for the season to get here but it always ends very fast.
As stated,the holiday is just two days away.I am looking forward to that.I am also hoping that the holiday goes by good.
Regarding the rest of the night,I might go out and have a drink or two with the guys.If I do,I hope that it will be a wonderful experience.
That was my day today and my night last night,including my hopes for the rest of the holiday weekend.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too eventful of a day today.I dropped off a record album at a friend's house as his Christmas gift and I also ran an errand for my mom.It was simply last minute food shopping for the holiday.It was cool.They also had all the things that my mom needed,which was a surprise for me.Usually,they are out of certain things during this time of the year.But they had everything that was on my mom's list.I also had to go to a Dollar Tree to pick up a couple more rolls of Scotch tape.
I am now relaxing at home.I am anticipating the party tonight.It is the annual Christmas party at the place where I entertain.It will be something indeed.I am hoping that the night goes well for me entertainmentwise.I will be doing my usual holiday standards during the party and as always,I am hoping that the party goes well and that my night of entertainment goes well.
It's hard to believe that the holiday is almost here.It will be here in 3 days.I can hardly wait for that.I am hoping that the holiday goes great.The only bad thing is that my father has come to town as a surprise.I really do not know how that will come about and how it will be.But if I can get through the day with him being there,then I will be alright.I just hope nothing negative happens nor any trouble brews.
Again,I am anticipating the Christmas party tonight.I hope that it's a blast and I also hope that my entertaining the crowd goes well.Though I rarely,if ever,have an off night.I still hope for things to go well.But again,it is the Christmas party and I am hoping that both the party and my night of entertaining the crowd is a real blast.
Regarding Sunday,I have not decided what I will do.But whatever I do,I hope that it will affect me in a positive way.
That was my day today and my hopes for tonight and for tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.The work shift went by smoothly and I also had a pretty good lunch period prior to starting my job.It was pretty well.After I got the laundry done,I simply dropped it off at the drug/alcohol rehab center and I went to an area supermarket to pick up a couple cans of kidney beans for tonight's dinner.After that,I went to teh bank to cash my paycheck and headed for home.
When I got home,I had dinner and I also registered some bills over on Where's George.After I had done that,I did a scan on my computer to check for viruses as well as spyware and the great news is that my computer is clean.There were no viruses or spyware in my computer database.After the scan was done,I bathed and I registered a few more bills on Where's George and did some last minute e-mail work.
While the scan was going on,I decided to finish my holiday shopping.I had to pick up a couple more things for a few family members and now,it's done.Good thing,too.I just heard from BMG Music Service via e-mail and my order was just shipped.It will not be here in time for the holiday.Oh well.But the family members that I bought for will not be left out.
I also went shopping and picked up 4 quarts of Egg Nog.That way,we have some for drinking when we have some Christmas time munchies.The holiday season is not complete without Egg Nog.Of course,it is alcohol free,which is the way we like it.
I am just glad that the holiday weekend is here.I have been waiting for this.Tomorrow night is the big Christmas party at the place where I entertain and I know that it will be something.I am going to be singing for the crowd and it will be Christmas songs.It is a Christmas party.Again,I am looking forward to this and I am hoping that the party is a real blast.I also hope that my night of entertaining the crowd goes over well.
As far as the rest of the weekend,I really have not decided.I might have a drink with the guys on Sunday night and the rest of the weekend,I will be spending the days with my family.I am hoping that the weekend will be great.
That was my day today and my hopes for the entire holiday weekend.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too exciting of a day today.The work shift went by pretty well.But I also had some stuff that I had to do today after I got home.
When I got home,I had to drop something off at a friend of mom's house.It was some money for some Christmas gifts that my mom needed before the holiday.One thing that I do have to admit,the holiday season is nice but can be a hassle.The hectic shopping for gifts and trying to find the right one for a certain person in your family or for a friend can be stressful.But again,it is a nice time but can be hectic.For me,I have only two more things that I need to buy and I am done.I did order a few CD's from BMG Music Service but they are going to be late.I was hoping that I would have them by Christmas but it seems that they will arrive after Christmas.But I will check my BMG account online to see if my order was received.
I also went shopping at a local K-Mart.I got a $20.00 gift card from work today and I went there to use it.I picked up Rob Zombie's Halloween on DVD and a couple pairs of warm hunting socks.The latter thing was a Christmas gift and now,I have only two more to go.I am just going to get two more pairs of hunting socks.My brother in law and nephews are the hunters in the family and I know that they will get some use out of those hunting socks.
I am now at home relaxing.Earlier tonight,my mom and I watched Cricket On The Hearth on DVD.Cricket On The Hearth is a Christmas special dated 1967 that has not been shown on regular TV for a long time.It was wonderful to watch this special again.My mom and I watched it last year when I first purchased this on DVD as part of a Christmas special DVD set.Again,it was wonderful.
At the moment,weatherwise,it is mild.The weather has warmed up slightly since the weekend snow storm.It has been a mixed bag of cold and warm weather.There is still some snow on the ground but it isn't as icy as it was this past weekend.But I am glad that it isn't.I know that colder temps will be coming back but I am going to enjoy this while it lasts.The one thing that I find hard to believe is that the Christmas holiday is almost here.It will be here soon.After that,it will be back to normal again until the New Year holiday.I am looking forward to New Years Eve when I will be entertaining the crowd as well.I always do that.New Years Eve is my busiest night to entertain.But at the moment,I am anticipating Christmas and I will be glad when it's here.
The best thing to happen last night was that the Buffalo Sabres defeated the New York Islanders by a score of 2-1.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well for me.After that,it's the weekend and the holiday approaches.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead and the upcoming holiday weekend.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.The laundry pick up that I had to make worked out pretty well.I simply picked up a filled bag and dropped it off at the work site,sorted it out and went home.
On the way,I went and bought another last minute gift for my family and mailed out an important package for my mom and picked up a two roll pack of Scotch tape at a Dollar Tree store in the area that I live.I had lunch and went home.
When I got home,I finished the computer work that I needed to finish.I also received a few things that I had been waiting on for about a couple of weeks in the mail.They were a few DVD's and a rare record album.I also received the Big Blue Marble episodes that I ordered.
After my work here at home was done,I went to a Salvation Army thrift shop in another area of Western New York and found a few nice things there.One thing I can say is that you'll usually find what you are looking for at those thrift stores,especially the Salvation Army ones.When I got home,there were the Big Blue Marble DVD's that I ordered on the kitchen table.Aside from those things,I also received a few more Christmas cards.Overall,a pretty good day today and I also had fun.
I am now at home relaxing.I do have to do a few more personal things before I can consider my day done.As stated,I am just glad that the holiday season comes once a year.I wouldn't want to go through something like this every day.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling a little bit better than I have been.I had a pretty good day today.My day,though it was pretty good,did not get off to a good start.
When I arrived at work,I saw that the washers were filled with laundry.The person from yesterday did not finish the job that he started.He simply left them in the washer overnight and when I took them out to be dried,they were sopping wet.At that time,I couldn't use both washers because of this.I had to wait for two loads that I had to separate from one of the washers to get done before I could use both.I had to use one to start my job and I also had to finish somebody elses job before I could really start mine.But I managed to get it done and after that,it wasn't so hard.After a nice lunch,I simply finished up and dropped it off at the drug/alcohol rehab center.I then headed for home.
Before I could relax and take it easy,I had to run a couple of errands for my mom.They were partly some last minute stuff before the holiday begins.I still have one more thing to get for her before the holiday.I also had to get some ice melt stuff from a Home Depot in the area before I headed for home.
After I got home,I had a light dinner.It was leftover pasta and it was good.I had a meeting that I had to go to tonight.It was my weekly support group meeting at the church tonight.The meeting,which was only attended by only a small group of men,was wonderful.We shared an awful lot and it was wonderful to hear and be heard.This is also the last support group at the church meeting for the month.For the next two weeks,due to the Christmas and New Year holidays,there will be no meetings.They will resume in January after the holiday season is officially over.It has been lovely but I will be glad when it is over.The holiday season,while very nice and worthy of joy and fun,can be very stressful.Again,while I will be sad to see it end,I will also be glad for it to be over with.After Christmas,there will be a New Year to start fresh and anew,which is what I am anxiously awaiting this minute.
Tomorrow is simply a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick-up goes well.After that,I have to get that one more thing for my mom.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead and the upcoming holidays.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.Today wasn't as hectic as yesterday.This time,I managed to get to the drug store to pick up those prescriptions.With that completed,I went back home again to have dinner.It was a light dinner of chicken flavored noodle soup.It was also very filling.I enjoyed it very much.
Tonight's anger management/conflict resolution group was cancelled.I was a little disappointed because I did not hear anything about until I got to the building where it was tonight.I drove all the way there and discovered that there was no meeting.After buying a box of hot chocolate,I drove home.
I am now at home relaxing.I am wearing a warm sweatsuit and I am feeling pretty warm in it.I am just going to sit and relax and watch a few holiday themed videos on TV.There isn't really much on TV due to that dreaded writers strike going on in Hollywood.But I am glad that it is the season for watching Christmas specials and that is what I and my mom will watch until a certain time tonight.The weather is COLD and snowy and there is no place to go on a night like this anyway.So,I am just going to stay home and take it easy for tonight.I am going to save my energy for tomorrow.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a very hectic day today.Last night,as predicted,the winter storm started coming.It snowed a little here and there but overnight,the fall got even stronger and bigger.When I woke up this afternoon after my nights sleep,I saw that the streets were covered with snow and that my car was covered in snow and plowed in by the city's snowplows.
When I got out to warm up my car and dust the snow off,including scraping off all the ice,I couldn't get my car out.It was stuck.I couldn't even get my neighbors to help me get it out.I was hoping to go to the drug store and pick up a few prescriptions but the darned snow all around prevented this.Though I did get my day 2/3 accomplished,it still felt incomplete.After my brother in-law towed me out of the snow pile,I got to a supermarket to pick up a few things.I wasn't done yet.I also had to go to another one to get a couple boxes of herbal cold remedy teas.But on the way,I got stuck again.But thanks to a passing motorist,I got out again and managed to make it to the other supermarket to get those boxes of herbal cold remedy teas.What a hectic day.The snow was falling and the wind was blowing and drifting the snow all around.But again,I got at least 2/3 of what I had to get done accomplished.Tomorrow,I have to make up for today by getting to that drug store and picking up those prescriptions.After that,at least everything will be accomplished.
I am now at home relaxing.The weather is COLD and snowy but I am feeling snug as a bug in a rug.I was going to go out tonight but due to the storm,I have chosen to stay home.I even called the place where I entertain to tell them that I am not coming out tonight due to the storm to let them know.But next Sunday,if the weather is better,I just might go out and have a drink with the guys over there.
Speaking of which,my night of entertaining the crowd went great.Due to the weather last night,there was a low turnout.But I still managed to sing and make the crowd happy.I did several Christmas songs and the response was favorable.I am looking forward to next week.Because the place is having it's annual Christmas party.I always look forward to that.I will be doing my usual party standard next week and I have a feeling that it's going to be wonderful.I am looking forward to that with a lot of enthusiasm.
Tomorrow is my day off as usual.Regarding whether there will be a anger management/conflict resolution group meeting tomorrow night is uncertain.But I am hoping to hear something tomorrow night.
That was my day today,my night last night and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.But I am also feeling hopeful and optimistic.The day today was pretty good.
My mom and I went grocery shopping to get some food in the house and to prepare.We are supposed to get a huge winter storm tonight and my mom wanted to make sure that the food was in the house just in case.At least,this has been accomplished and all we need to do is get the last minute holiday shopping in.There are still a few more people we need to get stuff for.But that will be done next week.
Tonight is my night to entertain the crowd.Starting tonight and next week,I will be doing Christmas music during my nights of entertainment.I have not decided what I am going to do but whatever songs that I choose,I am hoping that the night goes over well.As I have stated my times,though I rarely,if ever,have an off night,I still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.But I have a feeling that everything will go well tonight.But still,I always hope.
I am now at home relaxing.The weather is COLD and it is icy.Again,we are supposed to get a terrible winter storm but I am still going out.I will have to be careful driving home.Though I have gotten home many times in some really bad winter weather,I will still be careful and I will exercise safe winter driving skills.But I am hoping that the snow will not be as bad as it is predicted to be.But still,I will need to be careful.
Regarding tomorrow,I have not decided what I am going to do.But whatever I do,I hope that it affects me in a positive way.
That was my day today and my hopes for tonight and for the rest of the weekend.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.The work shift went by well and I did not have too much to do except what I had to do.The morning wroker does a very good job and I actually like how he works.I simply did what I had to do and bagged all clean and dropped it all off at the drug/alcohol rehab center and started home.
On the way home,I went to pay the car insurance.My niece paid me for the insurance this afternoon before I left for work and that was great.Again,on the way home,I paid for it and I am now all set for the month.
After that,I went and cashed my paycheck at the bank and went home.
My mom was already making dinner when I got home.It was homemade soup.The weather has been pretty cold as of late and a bowl of homemade soup really was the thing for it.It was wonderful.The soup really filled me up.After dinner,I did some more computer work and afterwards,I did a scan on my computer for viruses and spyware and my computer was clean.There were no viruses or spyware to be found and that was great.
Whiel teh scan was going on,my mom and I watched the classic animated specil Olive The Other Reindeer,which is about a dog who goes to the North Pole to help pull Santa's sleigh after Blitzen gets hurt.It was great.I own this on video and it was wonderful to watch without commercial interruptions.There was a repeat of one of my mom's favorite shows and we thought that we would watch this instead.Again,it was wonderful.
Tomorrow night is my night to entertain the crowd.I am looking forward to that.I am hoping that the night goes well.For the next two weeks,I am going to be singing Christmas songs.Because the holiday is near and I would like to get everybody into the spirit of things.I am hoping that evening goes well.
I will also be helping my mom with the grocery shopping tomorrow afternoon.I am hoping that we can get everything we need.
Regarding the rest of the weekend,I don't know what I will do.But whatever it is,I am hoping that it will have a positive affect on me.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling mixed emotions.The work day went by pretty smoothly but I am now feeling angry.
After work,I went home to relax a bit before taking my mom holiday shopping.I was a little tired and I needed some relaxation time to collect my thoughts and to recharge.
The shopping trip went as well as planned.My mother got almost everything that she needed to forget but she forgot a few other people.After shopping,we had two homemade sandwiches from Subway when we got home after purchasing them at a Wal-Mart location.
It was after we bought the sandwiches that my mom forgot the few other people that she was supposed to buy for.This is one of the reasons why I am feeling anger.The major reason is because my mom asked if she could borrow some money to make up for this.I am just wondering to myself WHY?!
It never fails.Each and every time I get ahead financially,I always have to loan my mom money.I am beginning to wonder.Is that woman psychic?Does she always know every time that I am ahead financially is the time to pester me for money?This is the main reason why I am feeling angry.I have my own money problems and this is what I don't need.I am already having enough stress trying to get my niece to pay her half of the insurance money ahead of the due date and now this.This is really starting to drive me up the wall.I understand that I sometimes have to do a little bit more for my mom but this is getting ridiculous.I felt that my mom should have thought twice before buying sandwiches from Subway because each time she makes a mistake,I end up bailing her out.This is becoming monotonous.I know that I will get paid back next month but I was hoping to use that money for gas for my car.Oh well.I guess that I will be bailing my mom out each and every time I turn around.This is why I am thinking of trying to be on my own.I am getting tired of taking care of this lady.I need to take care of myself and I sometimes can not bail my mom each and every time.If I am ahead money wise,I want to stay ahead.I should not have to bail out certain family members each and every time.At least,it is the way that I feel about it.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes smoothly.I am also hoping that the weekend goes better for me as well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day and weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a not too exciting of a day today.I simply did the scheduled laundry pick-up that I was supposed to do and I also had lunch at work after doing so.After that,I simply got some gas in my tank and I also managed to mail out a few more holiday cards.It was pretty well.It was just getting on with life as always and trying to keep a positive attitude about it.
When I got home,I simply changed back into my PJ's to lay down.I had a difficult time trying to get to sleep last night after going to bed.Though I did take my medication and tried to go to sleep,I had a tough time.While trying to do so,I managed to have those damned flashbacks of me having sexual relations with men and I wound up masturbating to them.After I got back up to wash my hands and use the bathroom,I asked the creator to forgive me before I finally got to sleep.When I got home,I simply went back to bed to take a nap to catch up on some lost sleep and afterwards,I felt better.
When I woke up,I simply checked the daily mail that I had received and I also finished my personal computer work after having a light dinner.Before doing that,I washed my hair because I did not want my hair to look messy if I went out.I do believe in being neat and looking neat.
For much of the day,I was also feeling at edge.My mom has been harping me to help her with her holiday shopping and I keep telling her that it was on my agenda and I was going to do that and also that I had not forgotten it.I did promise to do it tomorrow.My mom has been harping me so much as of late.She has never let up.It has been like this the past several days.I am hoping that after tomorrow,I won't have to hear it anymore.
Earlier tonight,I went back to the Roman Catholic shrine to pray.I had to say prayers because of the sexual addictions that I have been trying to overcome and I also had to pray for a friend who had suffered a heart attack last week.My relapse last night coupled with my falling short by watching Gay pornography online over a few days span was the motivation for me to go out there and pray.After doing so,I felt better and I also left with a cleaner feeling about myself.When I drove home,I felt really good driving home and I also felt better about myself.I am hoping that the next few days are better for me.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well for me.After work,I will be helping my mom with her holiday shopping.I still need to complete my holiday shopping.It is almost done.I only have a couple more things to get.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day tomorrow.FJ

Tonight,I am actually feeling great.I had a pretty good day today.Though the work day went by pretty tough and I also had to take some guff from my mother when I got home from work today,I managed to have a pretty good day today.The day weather wise was pretty rough.It was mostly a lot of rain and sleet but it was just a part of the season.It was also very cold today but not freezing.I still managed to get some things done today.I managed to do my job and get that done over all else and also drop the clean laundry off.Again,though the day was rough and I also had some really bad downs,I still hung in there and it was really neat.
I really did not have much time to relax after work.I was anticipating this evening and going to the new support group at another church.After I ate dinner,I managed to get some computer work done and leave to get to the meeting tonight on time.The church that I go to for meetings now is closer to home for me.It is just a 10-15 minute drive away for me.It's more convenient for me and I am glad.
I went there tonight and it was wonderful.I met some new men there and they are an awesome bunch of guys.I had a wonderful time talking with all of them and sharing the issues that I am dealing with,which is SSA and anger problems.It was really neat.I had a great time and the meeting was wonderful.I am looking forward to next week's meeting.I am looking forward to going to quite a few of the meetings in the next several weeks.I am also hoping that they are as wonderful as this one.But it was a wonderful meeting tonight and I am confident and sure that each and every meeting will be that way.Still,I will continue to hope.
Tomorrow is a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick-up goes smoothly.As for the rest of the day,I have not made any plans but whatever I do,I hope that it affects me in a positive way,.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.I ran an errand for my mom and I also managed to get some more mailing done.I had to mail a money order out to a friend of mine in California to get a few more DVD's of Big Blue Marble episodes.I am hoping that the money order gets there soon.I had delivery confirmation put on it so I can track it in the next few days.Again,I am hoping that the money order gets there soon.
Aside from that,I just had to do a little something for my mom and that was all.It was nothing much.It was just a personal thing that I had to do.But I got it done and that gives me a feeling of accomplishment.
Last night,I went out to have a few drinks with the guys at the place where I entertain and it was great.I had some laughs and great chit chats with the guys and gals who were there.I even played a few songs on the jukebox that was there.It was great to just be there and have some laughs and talk with the patrons.I will be going to do that again next Sunday.I will still be singing up a storm every Saturday night there but it is always great to just sit and chill with the people for just a few minutes.Again,I will be doing that again next Sunday night.
Tonight,my anger management/conflict resolution group meeting went great.It was wonderful to be in the group and share some stuff with them.I am looking forward to next week's meeting.
I also heard from a former support group at the church member that another church is starting another group.The first meeting will be tomorrow night.I will have to get directions to that church so I can go there tomorrow night.I am hoping that it will be as wonderful as the one that I used to go to.I know that I will be meeting some new people and getting to know them.I am looking forward to that tomorrow night.
The Buffalo Sabres lost tonight to the Boston Bruins by a score of 4-1 at home.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes by smoothly.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day tomorrow.FJ