Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was the start of the weekend.I had plenty to do.First,after eating breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I made my bed.I had a long day ahead of me and I needed to get some important things done.
When I did get out,I had a late but light lunch at a small Chinese restaurant,which was a small bowl of chicken soup.After that,I went and I had my hair cut.I also bought a new pack of CD-R's and a bowl of cereal at a local Big Lots.The last thing on my agenda was that I had to go to a local supermarket and buy a few things that my mom needed.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I bathed and I ate a light dinner.I also got a phone call from a friend of mine saying that he wanted to go out tonight and that he wanted me to pick him up.I said that this would be no problem and we hung up.
After all of that,I registered a dollar bill at the Where's George site and I also did some last minute personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good but busy day.
I will be entertaining the crowd tonight.I am looking forward to doing that.I always look forward to singing each and every week because it moves me to do that and all the positive responses that I receive.I really enjoy what I do.I am hoping that the evening goes well.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I fell this morning.I masturbated while still in bed.I was playing with my genitals until I was at the point of orgasm and I masturbated to finish it.I felt miserable after that.I did ask for forgiveness from the creator,which made me feel better.I am hoping that I can conquer this habit and these SSA struggles that I am currently battling.I don't want anything sexual with men.I want to have healthy,non-sexual relationships with men where sex has no place.I am hoping that I can find some real male friends soon.
As for the rest of the weekend,I haven't made any plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it benefits me in a positive manner.
That was my day today and my hopes for the rest of the weekend.FJ
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.I also did not have too much to do.I simply did my job and after it was done,I dropped everything off and I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to cash my paycheck and to withdraw some money that my mom needed.I also turned in a few bottles that I had in th eback seat of my 4X4.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I had to head back out again.My mom needed a box of herbal tea and I wanted to get a bottle of duck sauce to have with dinner.I headed back home and I am staying there for the rest of the night.
After eating,I registerd all the bills at the Where's George site.They are now on there and I will start speninging them tomorrow.I will be going to get my hair cut and I will also be buying more CD's at the local Big Lots.I am out and I need to get some more.I am also hoping to go the nearby Old Navy store to buy a few pairs of jeans.I hope that they still have a good selection there.
I can't believe that the weekend is finally here.I am hoping that tomorrow goes well.I will be going out to sing tomorrow night and I am hoping that the evening goes well.I am also looking forward to it.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had another brief episode this morning.Yes,I was playing with my genitals again and I was also lusting after men as well.But I stopped myself before it went too far.But I still felt miserable because I really want to overcome SSA.I need help and advice and if anyone has any advice,please share.Thanks.
That was ny day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
The work shift went smoothly.I also did not have too much to do.I simply did my job and after it was done,I dropped everything off and I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to cash my paycheck and to withdraw some money that my mom needed.I also turned in a few bottles that I had in th eback seat of my 4X4.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I had to head back out again.My mom needed a box of herbal tea and I wanted to get a bottle of duck sauce to have with dinner.I headed back home and I am staying there for the rest of the night.
After eating,I registerd all the bills at the Where's George site.They are now on there and I will start speninging them tomorrow.I will be going to get my hair cut and I will also be buying more CD's at the local Big Lots.I am out and I need to get some more.I am also hoping to go the nearby Old Navy store to buy a few pairs of jeans.I hope that they still have a good selection there.
I can't believe that the weekend is finally here.I am hoping that tomorrow goes well.I will be going out to sing tomorrow night and I am hoping that the evening goes well.I am also looking forward to it.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had another brief episode this morning.Yes,I was playing with my genitals again and I was also lusting after men as well.But I stopped myself before it went too far.But I still felt miserable because I really want to overcome SSA.I need help and advice and if anyone has any advice,please share.Thanks.
That was ny day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.I had a pretty good day on teh job and everything went according to plan.After having lunch,I bagged everything and dropped everything off at the rehab center before heading for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby drug store to buy a box of herbal sleep tea.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I had a cup of coffee while relaxing and watching a little bit of TV.I laid down for much of the afternoon while reading an article that I printed off the internet.I took a nap for about 1/2 an hour.
When I got up,I finished my personal PC work.I also managed to leave some feedback on Ebay for recent purchases that I made.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work before turning in for the night.It was a pretty good day and I have quite a bit to be greatful for.Nothing really negative happened except that I got a little disgusted with a social club member when they mentioned some untrue tabloid stuff regarding former Beatle Paul McCartney.It was about the lies that Heather Mills,his then wife,told the press about him beating her very violently.Of course,they were later revealed to be,of course,lies.But apparently,these people didn't buy that they were lies.I didn't say anything to anyone but I did have a look of disgust on my face that lasted until I left for the day.I was fortunate that the day was winding down for me anyway and I was just relieved that I was leaving soon at that time.This really made me angry because I know that all the stuff that Heather Mills said was completely false.But there are always people who would rather believe the tabloid trash over the truth.I am not angry anymore.I am over this.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had another brief episode whiel laying down.I was playing with my genitals whiel lying in bed.It was pretty miserable but I stopped it before it went too far.I also had images of naked men with erections surrounding me while I was in the middle of them feeling weak.Fortunately,it didn't carry over while I was napping but it was a struggle.I don't want to play with myself or think of sexual activity with men.I want to view men as brothers in a very healthy and clean way.I don't want to think of men as possible sex partners or even blow buddies.I want to have healthy,non-sexual relationships with men and not sex.If anyone out there can share with me any effective ideas,please share them here because I don't know whether I am coming or going.Any helpful advice would be appreciated.Thanks in advance.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
The work shift went smoothly.I had a pretty good day on teh job and everything went according to plan.After having lunch,I bagged everything and dropped everything off at the rehab center before heading for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby drug store to buy a box of herbal sleep tea.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I had a cup of coffee while relaxing and watching a little bit of TV.I laid down for much of the afternoon while reading an article that I printed off the internet.I took a nap for about 1/2 an hour.
When I got up,I finished my personal PC work.I also managed to leave some feedback on Ebay for recent purchases that I made.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work before turning in for the night.It was a pretty good day and I have quite a bit to be greatful for.Nothing really negative happened except that I got a little disgusted with a social club member when they mentioned some untrue tabloid stuff regarding former Beatle Paul McCartney.It was about the lies that Heather Mills,his then wife,told the press about him beating her very violently.Of course,they were later revealed to be,of course,lies.But apparently,these people didn't buy that they were lies.I didn't say anything to anyone but I did have a look of disgust on my face that lasted until I left for the day.I was fortunate that the day was winding down for me anyway and I was just relieved that I was leaving soon at that time.This really made me angry because I know that all the stuff that Heather Mills said was completely false.But there are always people who would rather believe the tabloid trash over the truth.I am not angry anymore.I am over this.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had another brief episode whiel laying down.I was playing with my genitals whiel lying in bed.It was pretty miserable but I stopped it before it went too far.I also had images of naked men with erections surrounding me while I was in the middle of them feeling weak.Fortunately,it didn't carry over while I was napping but it was a struggle.I don't want to play with myself or think of sexual activity with men.I want to view men as brothers in a very healthy and clean way.I don't want to think of men as possible sex partners or even blow buddies.I want to have healthy,non-sexual relationships with men and not sex.If anyone out there can share with me any effective ideas,please share them here because I don't know whether I am coming or going.Any helpful advice would be appreciated.Thanks in advance.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good but busy day today.
The laundry pick-up went smoothly.There were no messes to clean up and that really gave me some good time.After dropping the laundry off,I went to a couple of stores on the way home to pick up a few things.
I bought a gallon of milk at one store and I also bought a 1/2 gallon of orange juice at another store.I also bought some Rolaids.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I relaxed a bit by taking a nap for an hour and after that,I cleaned myself up because I had a lot of stuff that I had to do.
I went back to the Best Buy store to return the amplified antenna that I bought and they credited my account.I bought another package of CD-R's and I headed for home.It was a long drive there and I made sure that I filled my gas tank so it would be full on the way down and back.
On the way home,I stopped at a supermarket to turn in some empty bottles and cans.After that,I headed straight home and I stayed there.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work,including some e-mail work.I still have one more thing to do before I sign off for the night.Overall,a pretty good but busy day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had yet another brief episode.I played with my genitals for a few seconds but realized what I was doing and I stopped.I am hoping that I can overcome this dirty habit for sure.I am still feeling hopeful and optimistic and I am not going to let this setback get me down.
Tomorrow is a work day and I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
The laundry pick-up went smoothly.There were no messes to clean up and that really gave me some good time.After dropping the laundry off,I went to a couple of stores on the way home to pick up a few things.
I bought a gallon of milk at one store and I also bought a 1/2 gallon of orange juice at another store.I also bought some Rolaids.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I relaxed a bit by taking a nap for an hour and after that,I cleaned myself up because I had a lot of stuff that I had to do.
I went back to the Best Buy store to return the amplified antenna that I bought and they credited my account.I bought another package of CD-R's and I headed for home.It was a long drive there and I made sure that I filled my gas tank so it would be full on the way down and back.
On the way home,I stopped at a supermarket to turn in some empty bottles and cans.After that,I headed straight home and I stayed there.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work,including some e-mail work.I still have one more thing to do before I sign off for the night.Overall,a pretty good but busy day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had yet another brief episode.I played with my genitals for a few seconds but realized what I was doing and I stopped.I am hoping that I can overcome this dirty habit for sure.I am still feeling hopeful and optimistic and I am not going to let this setback get me down.
Tomorrow is a work day and I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
The work day went smoothly.Despite that I had to clean up a minor mess at the rehab center,the day went well.I did what I had to do in the period of time that I had and when I was done,I simply bagged everything that was clean and dropped it off.I headed home after that.
When I got home,I headed back out to run a few errands.I picked up a couple of things that my mom needed and I even got a few things for myself.I headed straight home and that is where I stayed.
I had a stomach ache for most of the day.It was really hurting.I took Alka Seltzer and laid down for a while while listening to some music.It did help my stomach ache somewhat.Most of the queasiness is gone.I am still feeling a little.But I am hoping that it passes.
After having dinner,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work.It was only a small bit that needed to get done and I am happy to have done that.Again,I am hoping that I am feeling better soon from some of the ailments that I am going through.My stomach is hurting and I am stuffed up nasal wise.But again,I am hoping that I am feeling better soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had a brief episode.It was a minor one.I did a little bit of playing with my genitals but it didn't last.I stopped when I realized that I was doing something wrong.I am hoping that I can get some support soon.
Tomorrow is simply a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick up goes well.I have the rest of the day off tomorrow.I don't know what I am going to do after the pick up as I have not made any plans.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
The work day went smoothly.Despite that I had to clean up a minor mess at the rehab center,the day went well.I did what I had to do in the period of time that I had and when I was done,I simply bagged everything that was clean and dropped it off.I headed home after that.
When I got home,I headed back out to run a few errands.I picked up a couple of things that my mom needed and I even got a few things for myself.I headed straight home and that is where I stayed.
I had a stomach ache for most of the day.It was really hurting.I took Alka Seltzer and laid down for a while while listening to some music.It did help my stomach ache somewhat.Most of the queasiness is gone.I am still feeling a little.But I am hoping that it passes.
After having dinner,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work.It was only a small bit that needed to get done and I am happy to have done that.Again,I am hoping that I am feeling better soon from some of the ailments that I am going through.My stomach is hurting and I am stuffed up nasal wise.But again,I am hoping that I am feeling better soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had a brief episode.It was a minor one.I did a little bit of playing with my genitals but it didn't last.I stopped when I realized that I was doing something wrong.I am hoping that I can get some support soon.
Tomorrow is simply a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick up goes well.I have the rest of the day off tomorrow.I don't know what I am going to do after the pick up as I have not made any plans.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, February 23, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was my day off and it was also a pretty busy day for me today.I had to go to the local hospital for a health screening and that went better than expected.After my screening,I left the hospital and I headed for home.Before going to the hospital,I did my personal computer work and I went to the bank to withdraw some money for my mom.I only went home because I wanted the register the bills at the Where's George site before spending them.After that,I went to a nearby supermarket to get the stuff that my mom needed.
Before finishing my errands,I went to my mechanic's garage to pay him the money that was due to him that I promised.After that,I finished my errands.I went to a nearby Dollar General store to buy a few boxes of hot cereal and a bottle of laundry detergent.After making a stop at the local Sakvation Army thrift store,I went straight home and that is where I am.
When I got home,I ate a light dinner and I decided to do some catching up on some much needed computer work.I also registered some more bills at the Where's George site.
I am now relaxing.I am now anticipating the next day.I had a pretty good and busy day and that was really something.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had a brief episode this morning.I was still feeling a little tired and I played with my genitals and I was almost at the point of orgasm when I stopped.I felt miserable.I would really like to stop doing that.If anyone out there reading these posts has any ideas,I would like for you to share what you did to contain this habit for good.That would be appreciated.Thanks.
Tomorrow is a work day and I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today was my day off and it was also a pretty busy day for me today.I had to go to the local hospital for a health screening and that went better than expected.After my screening,I left the hospital and I headed for home.Before going to the hospital,I did my personal computer work and I went to the bank to withdraw some money for my mom.I only went home because I wanted the register the bills at the Where's George site before spending them.After that,I went to a nearby supermarket to get the stuff that my mom needed.
Before finishing my errands,I went to my mechanic's garage to pay him the money that was due to him that I promised.After that,I finished my errands.I went to a nearby Dollar General store to buy a few boxes of hot cereal and a bottle of laundry detergent.After making a stop at the local Sakvation Army thrift store,I went straight home and that is where I am.
When I got home,I ate a light dinner and I decided to do some catching up on some much needed computer work.I also registered some more bills at the Where's George site.
I am now relaxing.I am now anticipating the next day.I had a pretty good and busy day and that was really something.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had a brief episode this morning.I was still feeling a little tired and I played with my genitals and I was almost at the point of orgasm when I stopped.I felt miserable.I would really like to stop doing that.If anyone out there reading these posts has any ideas,I would like for you to share what you did to contain this habit for good.That would be appreciated.Thanks.
Tomorrow is a work day and I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today was a not too eventful day.I did manage to finish my personal PC work and I ran a few errands.During that time,I went to a local Chinese take out place and had a bowl of chicken soup.I have a few cold symptoms that I am trying to get rid of that started when we had the latest snowfall in the city where I am living and that was the main reason for the soup.After eating my late lunch,I went to a nearby supermarket to finish my errands.
I had to pick up a few more things for the home and I also bought a few things that I needed.After paying for them and getting a tank of gas,I headed straight home.
After getting home,I watched another episode of Friday The 13th: The Series.I watched an episode this morning when I woke up and after that,I did my personal PC work.I watched another one tonight just before eating dinner and while eating,I watched the local news and afterwards,NBC news.I had to hear some more about the promising FLU vaccine that medical science is trying to develop and they feel that they are getting close.I am hoping that this is approved soon because that means that the dreaded infectious disease will be a thing of the past if it does.
After all of that,I decided to do some catching up on some much needed computer work.I might watch a cartoon or two after that on YouTube.
My night of entertaining the crowd went great.It started out pretty slow but then,it got pretty good.There weren't too many people when I got there but there were quite a few as the night was winding down.I got lots of positive responses and it made me feel good.
As for the rest of the night,I really don't know what I'll do.I might go out and have at least one drink or maybe,because of the cold symptoms that I have,I might just stay home tonight.If I do go out,I'll do it early because I have to get up in the morning.I have to go to the local hospital for a health screening.I am hoping that it goes well.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I masturbated this morning and it made me feel miserable.It was over a lustful fantasy with a guy that I once had something sexual with.I did ask for the creator to forgive me afterwards but I still felt a little depressed after that.I do feel better because I managed to go out and do a few things and again,it made feel a little bit better.I guess that I may have to start going back to church when the weather gets warmer.I juts have to make myself get up in the morning for that.I still have some nervousness about it but in time,I hope to get over that hurdle and restart.Prayers would be appreciated.
Tomorrow is my day off.I am hoping that the day goes well.As stated above,it is a big day tomorrow and I am hoping that everything works out for me.
That was my weekend and my hopes for the start of the new week ahead.FJ
Today was a not too eventful day.I did manage to finish my personal PC work and I ran a few errands.During that time,I went to a local Chinese take out place and had a bowl of chicken soup.I have a few cold symptoms that I am trying to get rid of that started when we had the latest snowfall in the city where I am living and that was the main reason for the soup.After eating my late lunch,I went to a nearby supermarket to finish my errands.
I had to pick up a few more things for the home and I also bought a few things that I needed.After paying for them and getting a tank of gas,I headed straight home.
After getting home,I watched another episode of Friday The 13th: The Series.I watched an episode this morning when I woke up and after that,I did my personal PC work.I watched another one tonight just before eating dinner and while eating,I watched the local news and afterwards,NBC news.I had to hear some more about the promising FLU vaccine that medical science is trying to develop and they feel that they are getting close.I am hoping that this is approved soon because that means that the dreaded infectious disease will be a thing of the past if it does.
After all of that,I decided to do some catching up on some much needed computer work.I might watch a cartoon or two after that on YouTube.
My night of entertaining the crowd went great.It started out pretty slow but then,it got pretty good.There weren't too many people when I got there but there were quite a few as the night was winding down.I got lots of positive responses and it made me feel good.
As for the rest of the night,I really don't know what I'll do.I might go out and have at least one drink or maybe,because of the cold symptoms that I have,I might just stay home tonight.If I do go out,I'll do it early because I have to get up in the morning.I have to go to the local hospital for a health screening.I am hoping that it goes well.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I masturbated this morning and it made me feel miserable.It was over a lustful fantasy with a guy that I once had something sexual with.I did ask for the creator to forgive me afterwards but I still felt a little depressed after that.I do feel better because I managed to go out and do a few things and again,it made feel a little bit better.I guess that I may have to start going back to church when the weather gets warmer.I juts have to make myself get up in the morning for that.I still have some nervousness about it but in time,I hope to get over that hurdle and restart.Prayers would be appreciated.
Tomorrow is my day off.I am hoping that the day goes well.As stated above,it is a big day tomorrow and I am hoping that everything works out for me.
That was my weekend and my hopes for the start of the new week ahead.FJ
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling pretty good.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was a pretty decent day weatherwise.I had to get up early this morning so I could be up and ready to answer the phone so I could take a call from the Christian counselor that I have been talking with.It was a wonderful conversation and we talked for about 20 minutes.After that,I finished my personal PC work and I headed out to do some errands that I had to run.
While out,I had a bowl of soup as a late lunch and I went to a couple of stores to pick up a couple of DVD's.The last errand was that I had to pick up a few things at a local supermarket and I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I bathed and I also saw that I finally received the DVD that I had been waiting on for a little over two weeks.It is the 2nd season of Friday The 13th: The Series.After my bath,I ate a light dinner.
After eating,I watched the first episode of the DVD set that I received and it was wonderful.It was also great to finally receive this.I am going to head over to Paypal later to close the dispute that I opened up when the seller wasn't cooperating at first.But again,I am glad to get this and it was wonderful to see the first episode of the DVD set.
I am anticipating the night tonight.I am going to go out and sing tonight.I am looking forward to that.I am going to be doing a George Harrison tribute tonight and I am hoping that theevening goes well.Though I rarely have an off night,I still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.But I have a feeling that things are going to go well.
Regarding my SSA striggles,I was doing good today until I fell short.I watched a couple of Gay themed amateur porn videos on the site.But I hit the home page.I gave into temptation and I do feel pretty bad aboout it.The minute that I shut down,I have to ask the creator for forgiveness for this sin.I also have to work on NOT doing this again.
As for the rest of teh weekend,I haven't made any plans but whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day toady and my hopes for the rest of the weekend ahead.FJ
Today was a pretty decent day weatherwise.I had to get up early this morning so I could be up and ready to answer the phone so I could take a call from the Christian counselor that I have been talking with.It was a wonderful conversation and we talked for about 20 minutes.After that,I finished my personal PC work and I headed out to do some errands that I had to run.
While out,I had a bowl of soup as a late lunch and I went to a couple of stores to pick up a couple of DVD's.The last errand was that I had to pick up a few things at a local supermarket and I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I bathed and I also saw that I finally received the DVD that I had been waiting on for a little over two weeks.It is the 2nd season of Friday The 13th: The Series.After my bath,I ate a light dinner.
After eating,I watched the first episode of the DVD set that I received and it was wonderful.It was also great to finally receive this.I am going to head over to Paypal later to close the dispute that I opened up when the seller wasn't cooperating at first.But again,I am glad to get this and it was wonderful to see the first episode of the DVD set.
I am anticipating the night tonight.I am going to go out and sing tonight.I am looking forward to that.I am going to be doing a George Harrison tribute tonight and I am hoping that theevening goes well.Though I rarely have an off night,I still hope for things to go well.You never know what might happen.But I have a feeling that things are going to go well.
Regarding my SSA striggles,I was doing good today until I fell short.I watched a couple of Gay themed amateur porn videos on the site.But I hit the home page.I gave into temptation and I do feel pretty bad aboout it.The minute that I shut down,I have to ask the creator for forgiveness for this sin.I also have to work on NOT doing this again.
As for the rest of teh weekend,I haven't made any plans but whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day toady and my hopes for the rest of the weekend ahead.FJ
Friday, February 20, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly and I managed to get quite a bit done.After my job was finished,I simply bagged the laundry and I dropped it off at the rehab center.I headed for home.
On the way home,I had to pick up a few things at a nearby supermarket and at a nearby Dollar Tree store.I also went to my regular bank to cash my paycheck.I headed straight home after that and for the rest of the night,I am staying there.
The weather right now is snowy and cold.The wind chill is in the teens above freezing at the moment but tonight,the temps are supposed to drop into the freezing territory.I will have to dress really warm tonight so I can stay warm while I am sleeping.I may also have to put on an extra blanket on my bed.Since I have no place to go tonight,I will just stay home and take it easy.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work.I also did some checking up on a shipment that I am expecting and so far,it has left Rochester NY via USPS and I am hoping that it comes in soon.
I can't believe that the weekend is here.I will be going out to sing tomorrow night and I am hoping that the evening goes well for me.I am anticipating the evening tomorrow and as stated,I am hoping that evening goes well.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had another brief episode.It was when I tried to sit in a chair and relax this morning.I was playing with my genitals and I almost was at the point of orgasm when I stopped.I was still feeling a little tired from another lack of sleep.But I am hoping to get a better nights sleeping tonight and I am also going to continue working on these stubborn and destructive habits of mine.I am also hoping to find some help in hope that I can overcome this struggle.
I am now relaxing and just hearing a light wind blow.As stated,I am hoping that my evening of entertaining the crowd goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
The work shift went smoothly and I managed to get quite a bit done.After my job was finished,I simply bagged the laundry and I dropped it off at the rehab center.I headed for home.
On the way home,I had to pick up a few things at a nearby supermarket and at a nearby Dollar Tree store.I also went to my regular bank to cash my paycheck.I headed straight home after that and for the rest of the night,I am staying there.
The weather right now is snowy and cold.The wind chill is in the teens above freezing at the moment but tonight,the temps are supposed to drop into the freezing territory.I will have to dress really warm tonight so I can stay warm while I am sleeping.I may also have to put on an extra blanket on my bed.Since I have no place to go tonight,I will just stay home and take it easy.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work.I also did some checking up on a shipment that I am expecting and so far,it has left Rochester NY via USPS and I am hoping that it comes in soon.
I can't believe that the weekend is here.I will be going out to sing tomorrow night and I am hoping that the evening goes well for me.I am anticipating the evening tomorrow and as stated,I am hoping that evening goes well.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had another brief episode.It was when I tried to sit in a chair and relax this morning.I was playing with my genitals and I almost was at the point of orgasm when I stopped.I was still feeling a little tired from another lack of sleep.But I am hoping to get a better nights sleeping tonight and I am also going to continue working on these stubborn and destructive habits of mine.I am also hoping to find some help in hope that I can overcome this struggle.
I am now relaxing and just hearing a light wind blow.As stated,I am hoping that my evening of entertaining the crowd goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
The work shift went well.The only drawback was when I was picking up the laundry,I had to clean up a mess in the laundry room at the rehab center.But the rest of the day went well enough.After eating my lunch,I dropped the clean laundry off at the rehab center and I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local drug store to pick up a prescription that I had filled yesterday.It is a new medication that I requested to be switched to and I am hoping that it gives me better benefits than the previous one did.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I got my PJ's back on and I took a nap for about an hour.I was feeling sleepy and I really needed a nap to catch up on a little bit of lost sleep that I had.After waking up,I finished my personal PC work and I also went to make my bed afterwards.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work.I also heard from a seller that I have been trying to contact concerning the purchase of a DVD set that I purchased from him.After trying about 10 times to contact him via e-mail,he told me that he shipped the DVD set out and that it should take 2-3 days for it to get to me.I am hoping that I receive it soon.I also had to open a PayPal dispute to get the seller to cooperate.He did and I will close the dispute the minute that the DVD set is received.Again,I am hoping to get the DVD set very soon.
I am now relaxing.I have no place to go because the weather outside is COLD!!!! with blowing and drifting snow.Fortunately,I had no problems driving home from work as there were not too many slick road conditions.It is a grim reminder that we are still in the Winter season and that Spring is still a long way off.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had a brief episode where I almost fell asleep while sitting in a chair at home and I was playing with myself.Fortunately,I stopped before it could escalate into a masturbatory episode.But I did feel bad about it and I am hoping that I can get back into the recovery spirit soon.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
The work shift went well.The only drawback was when I was picking up the laundry,I had to clean up a mess in the laundry room at the rehab center.But the rest of the day went well enough.After eating my lunch,I dropped the clean laundry off at the rehab center and I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local drug store to pick up a prescription that I had filled yesterday.It is a new medication that I requested to be switched to and I am hoping that it gives me better benefits than the previous one did.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I got my PJ's back on and I took a nap for about an hour.I was feeling sleepy and I really needed a nap to catch up on a little bit of lost sleep that I had.After waking up,I finished my personal PC work and I also went to make my bed afterwards.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work.I also heard from a seller that I have been trying to contact concerning the purchase of a DVD set that I purchased from him.After trying about 10 times to contact him via e-mail,he told me that he shipped the DVD set out and that it should take 2-3 days for it to get to me.I am hoping that I receive it soon.I also had to open a PayPal dispute to get the seller to cooperate.He did and I will close the dispute the minute that the DVD set is received.Again,I am hoping to get the DVD set very soon.
I am now relaxing.I have no place to go because the weather outside is COLD!!!! with blowing and drifting snow.Fortunately,I had no problems driving home from work as there were not too many slick road conditions.It is a grim reminder that we are still in the Winter season and that Spring is still a long way off.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had a brief episode where I almost fell asleep while sitting in a chair at home and I was playing with myself.Fortunately,I stopped before it could escalate into a masturbatory episode.But I did feel bad about it and I am hoping that I can get back into the recovery spirit soon.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
The laundry pick-up went smoothly.There were no messes to clean up and I just picked the bags up and dropped them off at the work site.I sorted them out and I had lunch.
After lunch,I went onto the social club computer to print out an article about a particular program that lets me convert my computer into storing music and that I can transfer them to MP3 or onto CD's.It will take some time but I am willing to get that done when I can get the money together.
After lunch,I went to a local Dollar General store to pick up a couple of things.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I put my PJ's back on and before settling down to take a nap,I waited for the UPS delivery to drop off a smart antenna that I had ordered at Best Buy through their website.The antenna arrived and I decided to take a nap before hooking up the antenna alongside the DTV converter box so we can have digital TV going.
After my nap,I hooked everything up and at the moment,we are watching TV using the DTV converter box and the smart antenna and it is working beautifully.The only thing is that a local station didn't have a signal going yet.I am looking into getting an outdoor TV antenna to coincide with the indoor smart antenna so we can hopefully pick up more channels.At the moment,we can't afford cable or satellite so we have to settle for the basics.But it's better than nothing.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to do some catching up on some much needed last minute personal PC work.I am now all caught up.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I relapsed.I masturbated this morning with images running rampant through my mind.I know how I was when this happened.I was extremely tired.I didn't get enough sleep last night.I don't know what time I eventually got to sleep but I was still feeling sleepy when I got out of bed this morning.I asked the creator to forgive me for my sin and though I felt a little bit better,I still felt a little misery over it.I guess that I have to stop drinking coffee after a certain time.I believe that was the root cause of my lack of sleeping last night.That will be my resolution for now.Cut down on caffeine consumption,including not drinking it too close to sleep time.Starting now,I will drink no more coffee until the next day.
Tomorrow is a work day and I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
The laundry pick-up went smoothly.There were no messes to clean up and I just picked the bags up and dropped them off at the work site.I sorted them out and I had lunch.
After lunch,I went onto the social club computer to print out an article about a particular program that lets me convert my computer into storing music and that I can transfer them to MP3 or onto CD's.It will take some time but I am willing to get that done when I can get the money together.
After lunch,I went to a local Dollar General store to pick up a couple of things.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I put my PJ's back on and before settling down to take a nap,I waited for the UPS delivery to drop off a smart antenna that I had ordered at Best Buy through their website.The antenna arrived and I decided to take a nap before hooking up the antenna alongside the DTV converter box so we can have digital TV going.
After my nap,I hooked everything up and at the moment,we are watching TV using the DTV converter box and the smart antenna and it is working beautifully.The only thing is that a local station didn't have a signal going yet.I am looking into getting an outdoor TV antenna to coincide with the indoor smart antenna so we can hopefully pick up more channels.At the moment,we can't afford cable or satellite so we have to settle for the basics.But it's better than nothing.
After eating a light dinner,I decided to do some catching up on some much needed last minute personal PC work.I am now all caught up.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I relapsed.I masturbated this morning with images running rampant through my mind.I know how I was when this happened.I was extremely tired.I didn't get enough sleep last night.I don't know what time I eventually got to sleep but I was still feeling sleepy when I got out of bed this morning.I asked the creator to forgive me for my sin and though I felt a little bit better,I still felt a little misery over it.I guess that I have to stop drinking coffee after a certain time.I believe that was the root cause of my lack of sleeping last night.That will be my resolution for now.Cut down on caffeine consumption,including not drinking it too close to sleep time.Starting now,I will drink no more coffee until the next day.
Tomorrow is a work day and I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
The work day was a bit hectic.Though doing my job went well,I had a run-in with a troublemaker.This is a guy who I have had run-ins with before.This guy loves to rub people the worng way and get under their gourds.Not only that,the worst part of this was I didn't get any justice from this incident.Fortunately for me,the work day was winding down and I didn't have to put up with this guy's baloney for long.After bagging everything and dropping it off,I headed for home.
When I got home,I immediately ran out again.I had to go and withdraw some money for my mom and myself.After that,I filled my gas tank because we are going to have a cold night tonight.I felt that it would be better for me to have a full tank so I will not have a tough time starting my 4X4 in the morning when I have to go and do the laundry pick-up tomorrow morning.
After filling my tank,I went to a nearby supermarket to buy a few things for the home and I headed back home where I am here to stay.
After eating,I finished my personal PC work and I also wrote a few e-mails.Before I started typing this,I heard from a friend of mine that one of his brothers passed away.He also told me that he was very shook up about it and while I was talking to him,he was really crying hard because he hadn't spoken to this particular older for quite a while because another brother of his lied to him that he was dead.This death came as a shock to him and after we talked for a few minutes,we hung up.Overall,a pretty fair day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,there has not been any problems.I guess that I have to keep busy with things so my mind isn't preoccupied with sex so much.I will just have to find new activities to do so I will not be thinking of sex so much.
As stated,tomorrow is a pick-up day and I am hoping that the pick up goes well.As for the rest of the day,I have really no plans except to simply go home and take it easy.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
The work day was a bit hectic.Though doing my job went well,I had a run-in with a troublemaker.This is a guy who I have had run-ins with before.This guy loves to rub people the worng way and get under their gourds.Not only that,the worst part of this was I didn't get any justice from this incident.Fortunately for me,the work day was winding down and I didn't have to put up with this guy's baloney for long.After bagging everything and dropping it off,I headed for home.
When I got home,I immediately ran out again.I had to go and withdraw some money for my mom and myself.After that,I filled my gas tank because we are going to have a cold night tonight.I felt that it would be better for me to have a full tank so I will not have a tough time starting my 4X4 in the morning when I have to go and do the laundry pick-up tomorrow morning.
After filling my tank,I went to a nearby supermarket to buy a few things for the home and I headed back home where I am here to stay.
After eating,I finished my personal PC work and I also wrote a few e-mails.Before I started typing this,I heard from a friend of mine that one of his brothers passed away.He also told me that he was very shook up about it and while I was talking to him,he was really crying hard because he hadn't spoken to this particular older for quite a while because another brother of his lied to him that he was dead.This death came as a shock to him and after we talked for a few minutes,we hung up.Overall,a pretty fair day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,there has not been any problems.I guess that I have to keep busy with things so my mind isn't preoccupied with sex so much.I will just have to find new activities to do so I will not be thinking of sex so much.
As stated,tomorrow is a pick-up day and I am hoping that the pick up goes well.As for the rest of the day,I have really no plans except to simply go home and take it easy.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, February 16, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was my day off.I had a semi busy day.First,I dropped my mom off at a local supermarket so she could pick up a few things.After doing that,I went to my mechanic's garage to pay him the weekly money that I promised him.After paying him,I went and had a light but late lunch at a nearby Mighty Taco.It was a Nachos Deluxe and after I ate,I went to the supermarket to check and see if my mom was done shopping,which she was.
After dropping her off,I ran one last thing before settling down for the rest of the day.After that was done,I did some last minute personal computer work and I had a light dinner.
After eating,I decided to watch a few more videos over on the YouTube site and I also did some personal e-mail work.I also contacted someone regarding a problem that I am having with my trying to convert some vinyls that I have to MP3 format.I am hoping that I can get some answers from the people.I want to start some transfers and I am hoping that I can get the problem resolved.Overall,a semi busy day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had no problems today.Nothing really came into my mind.I guess that I need to keep myself busy a lot more so my mind is not preoccupied with anything having to do with sex.I just need towork on this a lot more.I am hoping that I can find some good coping methods alongside what I did today.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ
Today was my day off.I had a semi busy day.First,I dropped my mom off at a local supermarket so she could pick up a few things.After doing that,I went to my mechanic's garage to pay him the weekly money that I promised him.After paying him,I went and had a light but late lunch at a nearby Mighty Taco.It was a Nachos Deluxe and after I ate,I went to the supermarket to check and see if my mom was done shopping,which she was.
After dropping her off,I ran one last thing before settling down for the rest of the day.After that was done,I did some last minute personal computer work and I had a light dinner.
After eating,I decided to watch a few more videos over on the YouTube site and I also did some personal e-mail work.I also contacted someone regarding a problem that I am having with my trying to convert some vinyls that I have to MP3 format.I am hoping that I can get some answers from the people.I want to start some transfers and I am hoping that I can get the problem resolved.Overall,a semi busy day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had no problems today.Nothing really came into my mind.I guess that I need to keep myself busy a lot more so my mind is not preoccupied with anything having to do with sex.I just need towork on this a lot more.I am hoping that I can find some good coping methods alongside what I did today.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was a day where I wasn't so busy.But I did manage to get some important things done after I did my personal PC work.I had to pick up a few things that were needed for the home and I also had a light but late lunch at a nearby Taco Bell.After eating that,I went to the nearby Burger King to get a small milk because despite Taco Bell having milk on their menu,they didn't have it there to sell.But I got it and that was great.I headed straight home after that.
After getting home,I relaxed after making my bed and I listened to an old record of mine while relaxing.I ate a light dinner after that.
After eating,I decided to do some catching up on some much needed computer work.I also watched a couple of YouTube video on how to transfer music from vinyl and cassette tapes to MP3 and wav files.I did download the software called Audacity and I also put a Windows movie maker icon on my desktop so I can easily open it when I want to use it.I just need to get the necessary jacks and cables to transfer the music from my records and tapes so I can start burning them to CD's in the near future.I now have most of what I need for that and I am looking forward to making CD's out of some of my vinyl and tapes.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went great.It was a really great night for me.I had a blast and I also got quite a bit of positive responses from the crowd.It was an awesome night and I am looking forward to next Saturday night.
As for the rest of the night,I am thinking of going out and having a drink or two with the guys over at the place where I entertain.I am hoping for some great conversations with them.
As for my struggles with SSA,I had a couple of episodes.Last night,when I tried to go to sleep,I had a vision in my mind where a guy I used to know tried to make me admit that I was Gay and that he had already known and he wanted to hear it from me.I was also talking to myself denying this and all of a sudden,I started having an erection.I prayed hard to the creator to help me get rid of this vision and the immoral thoughts out of my mind.I prayed hard and I got up to use the bathroom and all of a sudden,the vision and the thoughts quickly died down.After I finished my prayers,I slept through the night with no problems.When I woke up this morning,I woke up with another erection and the immoral thoughts were starting to creep back.Since I had to get up,I took a walk downstairs and the erection along with immoral thoughts died down and faded.Though I didn't act out,I still had the thought racing through and though I did get rid of them and overcame them without any acting out,I have to be on guard when they do come back so I will know what to do when this happens again.
Tomorrow is my day off.I do have lots to do.I have to take my mom to a supermarket to do some shopping and I also have to go to my mechanic's garage to pay him the money that I have to go towards what I owe him for the repairs that he did on my 4X4.After that,I have no plans but whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my weekend and my hopes for the start of teh new week ahead.FJ
Today was a day where I wasn't so busy.But I did manage to get some important things done after I did my personal PC work.I had to pick up a few things that were needed for the home and I also had a light but late lunch at a nearby Taco Bell.After eating that,I went to the nearby Burger King to get a small milk because despite Taco Bell having milk on their menu,they didn't have it there to sell.But I got it and that was great.I headed straight home after that.
After getting home,I relaxed after making my bed and I listened to an old record of mine while relaxing.I ate a light dinner after that.
After eating,I decided to do some catching up on some much needed computer work.I also watched a couple of YouTube video on how to transfer music from vinyl and cassette tapes to MP3 and wav files.I did download the software called Audacity and I also put a Windows movie maker icon on my desktop so I can easily open it when I want to use it.I just need to get the necessary jacks and cables to transfer the music from my records and tapes so I can start burning them to CD's in the near future.I now have most of what I need for that and I am looking forward to making CD's out of some of my vinyl and tapes.
Last night,my night of entertaining the crowd went great.It was a really great night for me.I had a blast and I also got quite a bit of positive responses from the crowd.It was an awesome night and I am looking forward to next Saturday night.
As for the rest of the night,I am thinking of going out and having a drink or two with the guys over at the place where I entertain.I am hoping for some great conversations with them.
As for my struggles with SSA,I had a couple of episodes.Last night,when I tried to go to sleep,I had a vision in my mind where a guy I used to know tried to make me admit that I was Gay and that he had already known and he wanted to hear it from me.I was also talking to myself denying this and all of a sudden,I started having an erection.I prayed hard to the creator to help me get rid of this vision and the immoral thoughts out of my mind.I prayed hard and I got up to use the bathroom and all of a sudden,the vision and the thoughts quickly died down.After I finished my prayers,I slept through the night with no problems.When I woke up this morning,I woke up with another erection and the immoral thoughts were starting to creep back.Since I had to get up,I took a walk downstairs and the erection along with immoral thoughts died down and faded.Though I didn't act out,I still had the thought racing through and though I did get rid of them and overcame them without any acting out,I have to be on guard when they do come back so I will know what to do when this happens again.
Tomorrow is my day off.I do have lots to do.I have to take my mom to a supermarket to do some shopping and I also have to go to my mechanic's garage to pay him the money that I have to go towards what I owe him for the repairs that he did on my 4X4.After that,I have no plans but whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my weekend and my hopes for the start of teh new week ahead.FJ
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling pretty good but exhausted.I had a pretty busy day today.
Since today was a weekend day,I decided to do quite a lot.I went to a Best Buy store and I managed to get a store credit card so I could purchase a smart antenna for myself so I can have everything ready for the conversion to DTV.I have had the converter box for quite some time and I tried it out with an amplified antenna.There was just one problem.I could not get any signals from at least one TV station.I managed to get a lot of signals from 10 stations but couldn't get only one local channel.This really bummed me out.I have spent quite a bit of money for this conversion and I am still getting the short end of the stick.On Wednesday,after I do the laundry pick-up,I am going to have to return the amplified antenna because it just isn't the right one.I did specially order the special antenna that I need for the conversion and I am hoping that I don't need any more after this.The conversion box manufacturer assured me that I should be all set once I get it.I am hoping I don't need anything else.
After shopping at Best Buy,I stopped at a nearby supermarket to pick up a few things that my mom needed.I also managed to buy a couple of things for myself and I also put a few dollars in my gas tank.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I bathed to get cleaned up for tonight and I ate a light dinner.After eating,I caught up on some e-mails and I registered a few more bills that I got in change from the supermarket at the Where's George site.Overall,a pretty busy day.
Tonight is my night to entertain the crowd.I am hoping that the evening goes well for me.So far,since my return,it has been going well and I am glad that it has.I still hope for things to go smoothly because you never know what might happen.But I have a feeling that everything will work out.
Today,I had no problems regarding my SSA struggles.I am happy for that.I am hoping that I will have no problems tomorrow.
As for the rest of the weekend,I have made no plans but whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hops for the rest of the weekend.FJ
Since today was a weekend day,I decided to do quite a lot.I went to a Best Buy store and I managed to get a store credit card so I could purchase a smart antenna for myself so I can have everything ready for the conversion to DTV.I have had the converter box for quite some time and I tried it out with an amplified antenna.There was just one problem.I could not get any signals from at least one TV station.I managed to get a lot of signals from 10 stations but couldn't get only one local channel.This really bummed me out.I have spent quite a bit of money for this conversion and I am still getting the short end of the stick.On Wednesday,after I do the laundry pick-up,I am going to have to return the amplified antenna because it just isn't the right one.I did specially order the special antenna that I need for the conversion and I am hoping that I don't need any more after this.The conversion box manufacturer assured me that I should be all set once I get it.I am hoping I don't need anything else.
After shopping at Best Buy,I stopped at a nearby supermarket to pick up a few things that my mom needed.I also managed to buy a couple of things for myself and I also put a few dollars in my gas tank.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I bathed to get cleaned up for tonight and I ate a light dinner.After eating,I caught up on some e-mails and I registered a few more bills that I got in change from the supermarket at the Where's George site.Overall,a pretty busy day.
Tonight is my night to entertain the crowd.I am hoping that the evening goes well for me.So far,since my return,it has been going well and I am glad that it has.I still hope for things to go smoothly because you never know what might happen.But I have a feeling that everything will work out.
Today,I had no problems regarding my SSA struggles.I am happy for that.I am hoping that I will have no problems tomorrow.
As for the rest of the weekend,I have made no plans but whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hops for the rest of the weekend.FJ
Friday, February 13, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shift went smoothly.I did everything that my job entailed and I dropped everything off at the rehab center.After that,I headed straight home.
I only headed for home because my niece dropped off her share of the auto insurance money and I went home to pick it up so I could pay the insurance for the month.It is now paid for and I can take it easy for the rest of the month.
After paying the insurance,I went to my regular bank to cash my paycheck and I also bought a gallon of milk at the nearby supermarket.I headed back home after that and that is where I stayed for the rest of the day.
After I got home,I had a light dinner and I registered some bills at the Where's George site.It was a whole bunch that I had to register.I now have to stamp the bills before I can spend them.I also did some last minute personal PC work.
I am now relaxing and I am anticipating the start of the weekend.I am looking forward to entertaining the crowd tomorrow night.I am also hoping to get out and do some more personal shopping for myself,which will depend on how the weather is like tomorrow.If it is decent,I will go out and do the shopping.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation last night while I was in bed.I masturbated to images of naked men with erections.I did ask the creator to forgive me this morning because I had fallen asleep after I had done that.I do feel better and I am hoping that I can beat this habit of masturbating and this SSA that I have been struggling with most of my life.Please pray for me.Thanks.
As for the rest of the weekend,I haven't decided what I am going to do.But whatever I decide to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the start of the weekend ahead.FJ
The work shift went smoothly.I did everything that my job entailed and I dropped everything off at the rehab center.After that,I headed straight home.
I only headed for home because my niece dropped off her share of the auto insurance money and I went home to pick it up so I could pay the insurance for the month.It is now paid for and I can take it easy for the rest of the month.
After paying the insurance,I went to my regular bank to cash my paycheck and I also bought a gallon of milk at the nearby supermarket.I headed back home after that and that is where I stayed for the rest of the day.
After I got home,I had a light dinner and I registered some bills at the Where's George site.It was a whole bunch that I had to register.I now have to stamp the bills before I can spend them.I also did some last minute personal PC work.
I am now relaxing and I am anticipating the start of the weekend.I am looking forward to entertaining the crowd tomorrow night.I am also hoping to get out and do some more personal shopping for myself,which will depend on how the weather is like tomorrow.If it is decent,I will go out and do the shopping.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation last night while I was in bed.I masturbated to images of naked men with erections.I did ask the creator to forgive me this morning because I had fallen asleep after I had done that.I do feel better and I am hoping that I can beat this habit of masturbating and this SSA that I have been struggling with most of my life.Please pray for me.Thanks.
As for the rest of the weekend,I haven't decided what I am going to do.But whatever I decide to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the start of the weekend ahead.FJ
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The work shuft went smoothly.I simply did the work that I had to do in the time that I had and after I did my job,I dropped off the clean laundry at the rehab center.
On the way home,I had to stop at a couple of stores to pick up some things that my mom needed.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I put my PJ's back on and took a nap for about 2 hours.I was feeling sleepy.It was a pretty good sleep because I woke up refreshed and not so sleepy after I woke up.I then took it easy while waiting for dinner to get done.
After eating,I decided to finish my personal PC work.I also managed to take care of some personal business while I was online.It also didn't take me too long to get everything done that needed to get accomplished.Overall,a pretty good day.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,I haven't had much problems today.I did have a brief,but minor,episode.But I didn't give in and the nap that I took realy helped.I am glad that this didn't get worse where I would've acted out and felt regret after that.But I know that it can happen again.This is a symptom of the loneliness that I have because I really don't have too many people to talk to around where I am living.But I am hoping that I can get this problem resolved soon.I am still feeling hopeful and optimistic.
Today,weatherwise,it was windy and cold.But the wind chills were above freezing and we are getting another taste of wintry weather that I am hoping will be over soon.I know that it's winter and we do have to let nature run it's course.But it doesn't hurt to hope.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
The work shuft went smoothly.I simply did the work that I had to do in the time that I had and after I did my job,I dropped off the clean laundry at the rehab center.
On the way home,I had to stop at a couple of stores to pick up some things that my mom needed.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I put my PJ's back on and took a nap for about 2 hours.I was feeling sleepy.It was a pretty good sleep because I woke up refreshed and not so sleepy after I woke up.I then took it easy while waiting for dinner to get done.
After eating,I decided to finish my personal PC work.I also managed to take care of some personal business while I was online.It also didn't take me too long to get everything done that needed to get accomplished.Overall,a pretty good day.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,I haven't had much problems today.I did have a brief,but minor,episode.But I didn't give in and the nap that I took realy helped.I am glad that this didn't get worse where I would've acted out and felt regret after that.But I know that it can happen again.This is a symptom of the loneliness that I have because I really don't have too many people to talk to around where I am living.But I am hoping that I can get this problem resolved soon.I am still feeling hopeful and optimistic.
Today,weatherwise,it was windy and cold.But the wind chills were above freezing and we are getting another taste of wintry weather that I am hoping will be over soon.I know that it's winter and we do have to let nature run it's course.But it doesn't hurt to hope.
Tomorrow is another work day.I am hoping that the shift goes well.After that,it's the weekend.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
The laundry pick-up went smoothly.There were no messes to clean up and I simply carried the bags to my 4x4.After dropping them off and sorting the laundry out,I had lunch and went about my day.
The first thing that I had to do was to pick up a prescription for my mom at the local drug store.After that,I picked up a couple more things that were needed for the home at other stores.I also managed to fit in a visit to the local Salvation Army thrift shop and bought a few nice things.I headed for the hospital afterwards to see the medication manager.I wanted to make sure that I wasn't late.
Though I had to wait for over 45 minutes for the med manager at the hospital,the session went great.I simply told her what was going on with me and how my life was.After she made me another apointment in a couple weeks for a health screening,I left for home.
When I got there,I relaxed a bit and took it easy while waiting for dinner to get done.After I ate,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work.
I am now relaxing and I am awaiting the next day.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,I masturbated again earlier today.I was being tormented by images of naked me with erect penises and I also gave into temptation by visiting a Gay porn site just about a minute ago.Earlier,I asked the creator to forgive me and I felt better but I still need to find some support from my fellow men.If there is anyone out there who can give me any encouraging words or advice,please do so.I would greatly appreciate that.Thanks.
Tomorrow is a work day and I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
The laundry pick-up went smoothly.There were no messes to clean up and I simply carried the bags to my 4x4.After dropping them off and sorting the laundry out,I had lunch and went about my day.
The first thing that I had to do was to pick up a prescription for my mom at the local drug store.After that,I picked up a couple more things that were needed for the home at other stores.I also managed to fit in a visit to the local Salvation Army thrift shop and bought a few nice things.I headed for the hospital afterwards to see the medication manager.I wanted to make sure that I wasn't late.
Though I had to wait for over 45 minutes for the med manager at the hospital,the session went great.I simply told her what was going on with me and how my life was.After she made me another apointment in a couple weeks for a health screening,I left for home.
When I got there,I relaxed a bit and took it easy while waiting for dinner to get done.After I ate,I decided to do some last minute personal PC work.
I am now relaxing and I am awaiting the next day.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,I masturbated again earlier today.I was being tormented by images of naked me with erect penises and I also gave into temptation by visiting a Gay porn site just about a minute ago.Earlier,I asked the creator to forgive me and I felt better but I still need to find some support from my fellow men.If there is anyone out there who can give me any encouraging words or advice,please do so.I would greatly appreciate that.Thanks.
Tomorrow is a work day and I am hoping that the shift goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty fair day today.
The work day went pretty well.I did have at least one minor mess to clean up when I was doing the pick-up.But I managed to get it all done and I dropped everything off at the rehab center before heading for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby drug store in the area of my work and I bought a few things that my mom wanted me to buy.I also went to a nearby Dollar Tree store and bought a few more things.I also went to see a friend of mine who had injured himself to see how he was doing.He said that he was hanging in there and that he is hoping to be feeling better soon.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home, I changed into a sweatsuit and I relaxed for a bit.At least,I tried to.
When I tried to relax,my SSA struggles started to creep back in.I wound up masturbating to images of naked men.This made me feel miserable.I want to beat this thing.I don't want to be attracted to men forever.I know that having sexual relationships with men is not going to give me the fulfillment that I need.If anyone has any ideas,I would like to know.Thanks.
After asking for forgiveness from the creator,I had dinner and I finished my personal PC work.It is now done.
I need to take my mind off sexual relationships with men.If anyone has any ideas,please share.Thanks.
Tomorrow is a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick-up goes smoothly.I also have an appointment with the medication manager at the local hospital and I am hoping that the session goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
The work day went pretty well.I did have at least one minor mess to clean up when I was doing the pick-up.But I managed to get it all done and I dropped everything off at the rehab center before heading for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby drug store in the area of my work and I bought a few things that my mom wanted me to buy.I also went to a nearby Dollar Tree store and bought a few more things.I also went to see a friend of mine who had injured himself to see how he was doing.He said that he was hanging in there and that he is hoping to be feeling better soon.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home, I changed into a sweatsuit and I relaxed for a bit.At least,I tried to.
When I tried to relax,my SSA struggles started to creep back in.I wound up masturbating to images of naked men.This made me feel miserable.I want to beat this thing.I don't want to be attracted to men forever.I know that having sexual relationships with men is not going to give me the fulfillment that I need.If anyone has any ideas,I would like to know.Thanks.
After asking for forgiveness from the creator,I had dinner and I finished my personal PC work.It is now done.
I need to take my mind off sexual relationships with men.If anyone has any ideas,please share.Thanks.
Tomorrow is a pick-up day.I am hoping that the pick-up goes smoothly.I also have an appointment with the medication manager at the local hospital and I am hoping that the session goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, February 09, 2009
Tonight,I am feeling okay.I had a pretty good day today.
Today was my day off.I had a lot of ruuning around to do.I paid the water bill and I also mailed out my payment to the finance company that has a line of credit that I opened some time ago.After that,I went to my mechanic's garage to drop off a couple of CD's that I made for him.I also went to a local supermarket to buy a couple of things that my mom needed.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I hooked up the new DTV converter box that I bought yesterday at a local Target.It was just a test.Though I got a few channels in,I didn't get most of them.I did get one channel but the signal was lost and declared invalid.I unhooked the box and it is now back on regular TV.I did call the company that made the box and they simply told me that I need to buy a smart TV antenna for better reception.I did call Best Buy and they told me that there were none in stock and that they didn't know when they were going to get more into the store.I talked it over with my mom and we have to set aside some money when we can until we have enough money to buy one.We do have a long wait because the DTV conversion has now been pushed ahead to June 12th.So,we can just relax and take it easy for now.
After eating,I did some last minute personal PC work and I also watched an online video on YouTube.Overall,a pretty good day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation.I masturbated to images of nude men with erections.I was also talking to myself imagining that there were some guys in the room and that I was agreeing to perform sexual favors for them.I did ask the creator to forgive me for that sin and I felt better.I am still feeling hopeful and I am counting on myself beating this.But I still need help in dealing with the feelings and I also need help in how to effectively cope with them.If anyone has any answers,I would appreciate them.Thanks.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today was my day off.I had a lot of ruuning around to do.I paid the water bill and I also mailed out my payment to the finance company that has a line of credit that I opened some time ago.After that,I went to my mechanic's garage to drop off a couple of CD's that I made for him.I also went to a local supermarket to buy a couple of things that my mom needed.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I hooked up the new DTV converter box that I bought yesterday at a local Target.It was just a test.Though I got a few channels in,I didn't get most of them.I did get one channel but the signal was lost and declared invalid.I unhooked the box and it is now back on regular TV.I did call the company that made the box and they simply told me that I need to buy a smart TV antenna for better reception.I did call Best Buy and they told me that there were none in stock and that they didn't know when they were going to get more into the store.I talked it over with my mom and we have to set aside some money when we can until we have enough money to buy one.We do have a long wait because the DTV conversion has now been pushed ahead to June 12th.So,we can just relax and take it easy for now.
After eating,I did some last minute personal PC work and I also watched an online video on YouTube.Overall,a pretty good day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation.I masturbated to images of nude men with erections.I was also talking to myself imagining that there were some guys in the room and that I was agreeing to perform sexual favors for them.I did ask the creator to forgive me for that sin and I felt better.I am still feeling hopeful and I am counting on myself beating this.But I still need help in dealing with the feelings and I also need help in how to effectively cope with them.If anyone has any answers,I would appreciate them.Thanks.
Tomorrow is a work day.I am hoping that the day goes well.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
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