Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up much later than usual and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I had only a few things planned for today and I wanted to make sure that I got them done.
I first went to a bargain outlet closeout store to pick up a couple of things there.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things there.After paying for those items,I headed over to a copy store to make a few copies for my mom.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did dome more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of depression.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve soon in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted in the wee early morning hours again when I was awakened by another erection that was also throbbing.I really had to fight this temptation as it was really overwhelming and strong.I really tossed and turned because I didn't want to masturbate as the urge was really strong.After several minutes,my penis softened and I drifted back into sleep.For the rest of the day,I really had no temptation.But that can change in the near future as temptation can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to be watchful when that happens.I want to stay pure and clean and giving into temptation will only make me the opposite.I will just have to keep fighting when temptation does indeed rear it's ugly head and I have to stay strong.I have to show my body that I own it and not the opposite.Again,I am still open to any suggestions or advice.
Tomorrow morning,I am planning on attending the morning's church service and early Holy Bible study class.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up a little later than I wanted to and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed.I had only a few things planned and I wanted to get them done.
I first went to a local Tim Horton's to buy some ground coffee.After paying for that,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a few more things.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I watched TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours by being awoke by an erection that was throbbing.My temptation to masturbate it away was really strong and overwhelming.I had to really fight this.I simply tossed and turned until the erection died down.I slept for a few more hours.Though I escaped this one,I have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out in other ways will rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to stay on guard and be watchful.The temptation to act out in ways other than seeking a male partner for the purpose of acting out sexually can be very strong and very difficult to resist.It is just a day by day fight.I have to stay in the fight and hang in there.I am still open to any suggestions or advice.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to get ready for the rest of my day.
I had a spirituality group that I needed to attend and I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group was wonderful.I got a lot out of it and after it was over,I had lunch at a local community kitchen.After lunch,I headed over to the post office to mail out some important stuff that needed to be mailed out.After that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things for the home.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that,someday soon,my recovery will improve.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours.An erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.It was also yet another throbbing one.I really had to fight the temptation to masturbate the erection away as that is when my temptation to masturbate is the strongest.I had to really toss and turn to get rid of that throbbing erection.After several minutes,my penis softened and I went back to sleep.A couple of hours later,I had to get up and take my bath to clean up before going on with the rest of my day.Though I escaped that occurance,this only shows me that I have to continue staying on guard and being watchful as the temptation to act out by masturbating can get really strong and it can be very hard to resist.I have to keep fighting this temptation as the temptation to act out by masturbating can be strong and overwhelming.I have to keep relying on God and my strength to resist this temptation as it can rear it's ugly head when least expected.Fighting the temptation is the only thing that I can do.Any other advice or suggestions are welcomed.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the morning and I bathed as usual.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to prepare for what I had planned for the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda.I first had to go get my oil changed in my car's engine.After that,I headed over to the bank to withdraw money for myself.After that was done,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something that was needed for the home.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched some TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recover will start to improve soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awoke with an erection that was also a throbber.I simply had to toss and turn repeatedly to rid myself of this as when I am erect,the temptation to masturbate it away is overwhelmingly strong.After a few minutes,my penis softened and I fell back asleep.But a few hours later,I woke up with another erection and again,my temptation to masturbate it away was overwhelmingly strong.I simply got up to use the bathroom and on the way,my penis softened again.While I escaped these occurances,I still need to stay on guard and be watchful.The temptation to act out in any way,shape or form can be very strong.I know that I have a choice to give in or not to give in.While I chose not to give in to these latest bouts,I know that temptation can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to stay on guard and work on staying strong when it does.Today,I did escape.But there is always tomorrow and the day after that and so on.I need to continue fighting temptation whenever it rears it's ugly head again.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend.After that,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day.
I had only one thing on my agenda today.I had an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor today and I was eagerly looking forward to this.I always look forward to seeing my counselor in this area as I always have lots to talk about.
The session was great.After she set another appointment with me,I left and headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a store to pick up several things.After paying for these items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery will improve soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted twice in the wee early morning hours.I had two morning erections.The first happened at around 4:45am and to get rid of it,I simply tossed and turned around until the erection died down.The second one happened at around 7:56am and to get rid of that,I simply had to get up and use the bathroom and while on the way there,the erection died down.As I have stated previously,my temptation to masturbate gets really strong when I have morning erections because in the past,when I did get them,I would masturbate them away,which is why the temptation to masturbate is really strong when this happens.I escaped these occurances,but I know that I still stay on guard and be watchful as the temptation to act out by masturbating can get overwhelmingly strong.I will have to continue to fight this when it comes and just deal with it when it comes.Still,advice and suggestions are always welcomed.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment to get the oil changed in my engine.After that,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up later than I wanted to and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I got ready to proceed with the rest of my day as I had only a few things planned.
For starters,I went to my usual Monday afternoon groups.These were groups that I needed to attend and they both went well.After they were over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a couple of local stores to pick up a few things that I needed.After I was done shopping at them,I headed for the bank to withdraw some much needed cash.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,my temptation to act out was strong,but not as strong as previous times.I still had the urge to masturbate by manipulating my genitals to get them hard or near hardness for that purpose,but I fought it and I did get through it.The temptation to act out in any way,shape or form other than searching for male partners to act out with can be very strong at times.I managed to make it through today,but tomorrow and the day after that and so are new challenges.Each and every day is it's own challenge.I have top fight the urge whenever it comes over me.I have to keep on fighting and keep on enduring whenever the temptation to act out rears it's ugly head.I have to hang in there and simply tough it out.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up to attend the morning's church service and also to attend the morning's bible study class.I was looking forward to both of them with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.The cold weather did nothing to dampen my mood as I was leaving to go to church.
Both the class and the service were wonderful.I got a lot out of both of these.After some fellowship with the members after the service,I headed for home.
On the way home,I made a few stops.I stopped at a local Tim Horton's to pick up a bag of coffee.After paying for that,I headed over to a nearby bargain outlet closeout store to pick up a few things there.After that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a couple more things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home and I stayed there for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my sweatsuit.I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and popped a DVD in the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.
While my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I hope that my recovery starts to improve very soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,my temptation to act out on my desires was minimal if nil at best.I had really no cravings to act out nor did I have any urges to masturbate nor manipulate my genitals to hardness or near hardness for the purpose of masturbation.While I escaped today,I still need to stay on guard and be watchful as the temptation to act out on my desires can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I still have to be on guard and be watchful as the temptation to act out can come back in any way,shape or form.Again,while it was good that I escaped today,I still be watchful when it hits again.I have to work on staying strong and work even harder on resisting the temptation to act out when it does indeed rear it's ugly head.Prayers and encouragement are welcomed.
Tomorrow,I have tow groups that I need to attend.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up later than usual and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.I only had very little to do today and I wanted to get everything done.
I had only a couple of things that I needed to do.I first went to the drug store to pick up my prescription for the pain in my lower back.After that,I headed over to another local store to pick up something else.After paying for that,I headed straight home as since it was snowy and cold today,I had really nothing else to do.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched some TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery will start to improve positively in the near and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I really didn't have any temptation to act out in any way,shape or form.This morning,when I woke up,I had really no temptations to masturbate nor any other temptations to act out by masturbating.While that was good,I know that I still have to stay on guard and be watchful because the temptation to act out by masturbating can be overwhelmingly strong and temptation can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to stay strong and continuously be on guard against all temptations to act out by masturbating or any other way.While I escaped today,I have to keep in mind that there is always tomorrow and the day after that and so on.Each and every day brings anything that is different,including the temptation to act out on my desires as a result of my struggles with SSA.
Tomorrow,I will be attending the mornings church service.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my plans and hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up later than I wanted to and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed.I had some stuff that I needed to do and I wanted to start getting them out of the way.
I had to go to the bank to withdraw some money for my mom and myself.After that,I dropped the money off at home and proceeded onward with the rest of what I had to do.
I had to do some shopping for my mom.I went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up several things and after that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a few more things.After paying for all of those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve soon in the near and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I didn't really feel any temptation to act out in any way,shape or form.I had no urges nor temptations to masturbate nor did I have any temptations to look at anything forbidden.Though today was good and I had nothing that would try to make me compromise,I still need to be on guard and to be watchful.Temptation can rear it's ugly head when least expected.It can strike anytime and I need to stay on guard when that happens.I escaped today unscathed,but tomorrow is another day and so is the day after that and so on.I need to stay on guard and be watchful for any temptations.I will simply have to fight them when they happen.That is all that I can do.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day as I had some stuff that I need to do.
I first went to a spirituality group that I needed to attend.I was looking forward to the group with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group was wonderful as I got a lot out of it.After the group,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local community kitchen to have lunch and after eating,I headed over to a nearby gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a bit because I had yet another thing on my agenda today.I had a doctor's appointment to get myself checked out as a result of me having lower back pain for a while.I headed over to the doctor's office when it was time.
The session went well.The doctor advised me to get some x-ray's done on my lower back and call them for the results.After that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up some things that my mom wanted me to get.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I hope that my recovery starts improving soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am feeling a little bit better after yesterday.I simply shared my relapses(I had a second one in the late afternoon yesterday)and I got some overwhelming support and encouragement from the groups that I ma a member of with whom I shared this with.It is wonderful to have all of that.The more support that I can get the better.As for today,my temptation to act out was minimal if nil at best and that was good.But still,I have to continue to gain more strength to resist the temptation to sin.I have to continue to resist the temptation to act out by masturbating as masturbation is a form of acting out.I have to continue to be strong and ask for more strength when I need it.Again,any support or encouragement is appreciated.Thanks.
As of tomorrow,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning hours and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day as I had quite a bit to do.
I first went to the post office to buy some money orders and mail out some important bills that needed to be mailed out.After that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a few boxes of cereal.After the cereal was paid for,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to go positively soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the wee early morning hours.Yes I did.I admit it.I masturbated a morning erection away.I really felt terrible after all of that.For a long time,I was resisting and doing good,until this relapse.I felt bad because I felt that I failed God and Christ in my endeavors.This relapse was terrible and as I have said before here,it really didn't make me feel like a man nor did it get me any closer to the full maleness that I want to achieve and need so I can feel like a man.This masturbation episode made the matter worse and I just didn't know whether I was coming or going.Though I felt bad about the relapse,I know that I have to move on and continue working on myself.It was really terrible giving into the unclean habit of masturbation,but I now have to move on and try to not let it happen again.I have to continually keep in mind that masturbation will never give me what I want in terms of gender identity affirmation or feeling like a man.I also have to keep in mind that masturbation will never connect me to my lost maleness.I will just have to work on stopping to practice this unclean habit and get back on track.Again,I am open to any ideas or suggestions.Thanks.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend.After that,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I had a few things planned for today and I wanted to get them done.
I first went to the local Sears to pay my credit card bill and after that,I headed over to a tax office in another city within the region that I live in New York state and after that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up some stuff that my mom needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the stuff away and I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve soon as I have been on an emotional roller coaster ride for quite a while.I am hoping that it stops soon.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours by a morning erection,which woke me up out of a deep sleep.I was really tempted to masturbate that away,but I fought the temptation by tossing and turning until my penis softened.It was really tough,but I managed to resist successfully.For the rest of the day,my temptation to act out in any way,shape or form was minimal if nil at best.Though I escaped again this morning,I still need to be on guard and be watchful.The temptation to sin by masturbating away an erection can be very strong and the urge to give into the temptation can be even stronger.Temptation is an ugly demon indeed.It is just as ugly as the SSA demon.I still have to keep on guard when that happens.Today was one thing.But there is always tomorrow and the day after that and so on.I just have to keep fighting the temptation when it does rear it's ugly head at me.I just have to keep fighting,to stay strong and continue to resist when it happens.If any of you who read and follow this blog want to offer any words of encouragement,please do so.Thanks.
Tomorrow,I have to buy a few money orders to mail out some important letters.After that,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up later than usual and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I immediately went into doing my personal PC work and before finishing it,I made an appointment with my general medical doctor because I am having a really bad pain in my lower back region and I would really like to get it checked out.I have an appointment for Thursday and I am hoping that the session goes well.
After I was done,I got dressed and I proceeded to get on with the rest of my day.I had a couple of groups that I needed to attend and I wanted to make sure that I got there in time for them.
Both the group meetings went well.I did get a lot out of them.After the last meeting was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Big Lots to buy a couple of things for myself.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed over to my insurance agents office to pay my car insurance for the month.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts to improve in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection.It was also another throbber.It was really difficult to resist,but I managed.I again tossed and turned until my penis softened.It was a tough thing,but I got through it.After that,I fell back asleep and had no troubles for the rest of the time.When I finally got up,I simply settled into my normal routine.For the rest of the day,I had no temptation to act out on my desires in any way,shape or form.My temptation or urge to act out was minimal if nil at best for the rest of the day.I simply went through the day and nothing really happened.Though I escaped this morning,I still have to be on guard and be watchful because temptation can rear it's ugly head yet again when least expected.I am not waiting for temptation to come around,but I know that it can happen again and I have to be on guard and be watchful.As stated,I escaped this morning,but there is always tomorrow and the day after that and so on.I still have to fight temptation when it does indeed rear it's ugly head again.There will be many more urges to battle and I want to be ready for them when they happen.
Tomorrow,I will be going to a tax office to file my income tax return.After that,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my plans as well as hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I dried up and had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service.I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The class was terrific.We watched 1/8 of a DVD about the history of the church and it was great.It was interesting to see how the Christian church got it's start and I was glad to have attended this.I will be attending each and every class until the summer.I have been enjoying these classes and I always look forward to each and every one of them.After that,we all got ready for the service afterwards.
The service was very wonderful.The fellowship before and after the service was terrific.After all of that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of things and after paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I had a quick lunch,got my laundry together to go to the laundromat to get my laundry done and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I headed over to the laundromat.
On the way there,I stopped at a local 7-Eleven to pick up something to munch on while I was at the laundromat.After paying for that,I headed straight for the laundromat and I started my laundry the minute that I saw that a machine was open for use.After putting my laundry in and starting the washer,I sat down and relaxed and enjoyed my munchies.
It only took a little over an hour,but I managed to get my laundry done and after folding it all when dried,I bagged it all and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I sorted out my laundry and after that,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.
Though my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery starts improving soon in the near and distant future.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted in the wee early morning hours when an erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.It was very stiff and it was also a throbber.As usual,when I get an early morning erection,I simply tossed and turned until my penis softened.I was tempted to masturbate that away,but I stayed strong and I fought that urge to masturbate.For the rest of the day,my temptation to act out was minimal if nil at best.While I escaped the rest of the day,I know that the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form will come back when least expected.I just have to keep fighting that urge when it comes and I hope that I can beat the urge again when it comes.Temptation can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I just have to be prepared when that does happen.Temptation is an ugly master and it can make you want to do things that are wrong and inappropriate,especially when it comes to that ugly demon known as SSA.I have to always keep in mind that I own my sexuality and that my sexuality doesn't own me.I am going to continue to learn to make my body a slave and not be a slave to my body.It is a difficult fight,but I know that I can win the fight and keep choosing to resist and fight temptation rather than give in.It will be difficult,but I know that I can do it.
Tomorrow,I have a couple of group meetings that I need to attend.After that,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my plans and hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly e-mailed a friend of mine and after that was done,I headed out to my monthly Men's Network group meeting.I was looking forward to this meeting with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The meting was wonderful.We had some small talk and after the talk,we watched a DVD of a guy speaking on stage about Jesus Christ and his father God and all.After the meeting was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I made a few stops.I first stopped at a Salvation Army thrift store in the area and after that,I had myself a quick lunch over at Burger King.After that,I headed over to the drug store to pick up a couple of prescription refills and a few other things.After paying for all of that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and after I was done with that,I relaxed and watched a DVD after popping it into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better very soon in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,my temptation to act out was again minimal if nil at best.I had no temptation nor urge to act out in any way,shape or form.Though I did escape today,I still need to be on guard and to be watchful.The temptation to act out will reemerge when least expected.I need to be on guard as the urge to indulge in masturbation when tempted can come strong and at times,feels unbearable.But I know that I do have a choice.But at times,the urge to masturbate can be strong and when it is,it can be pretty difficult to resist.The reason why it is so hard to resist or to overcome is because when anyone,male or female,masturbates,it does feel good as our genitals are simply soft skin tissue with no bones in them and it does feel good to rub or play with them until ejaculation.The good feelings that are experienced with that activity would make anyone yearn to feel them repeatedly by simply masturbating again and again.But I have to remain strong when that urge comes around.I have to resist the temptation to act out in that way as masturbation is a form of acting out and it doesn't matter whether it's emotional,sexual or both.Again,though it was good that I escaped today,tomorrow is another day and so is the day after that and so on.Each day is always a new challenge.
Tomorrow,I am hoping and planning to attend the morning's church service and in the early afternoon,I am hoping and planning to get my laundry done at the laundromat.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up later than I wanted to and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was finished,I got dressed.I had some stuff planned for the day and I wanted to get them done.
Before I did anything,I had to stop over at a garage to get my car checked out.I wanted them to check out what could be wrong with my car's electrical system.My "door ajar" light on the dash wouldn't go off.My trunk button wouldn't function right and my power door locks were also not working properly.They simply did 2/3 of the work.They fixed the power door locks and they got the light off,but I need a new latch for the trunk in order for the trunk button to work properly.I told them that the minute that I get my income tax refund check,I will call them and have them order the part so the work can be done.They said okay and I left the garage.After that,I headed over to the bank to withdraw some money for my mom and myself and afterwards,I went to the post office to mail out an important letter that needed to be mailed.After doing that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,my temptation to act out on my desires were minimal if nil at best today.I simply went through the day and I didn't have no temptations nor any urges to act out nor masturbate.Though I again escaped unscathed today,I still need to be on guard and be watchful.The temptation to act out on my SSA desires can happen again when least expected.I still need to be watchful as that temptation can come back.I am not waiting for it to come back as that would be silly.I need to learn to be on guard and to be watchful when it rears it's ugly head again.Again,though I escaped today,I still have to be on guard,be watchful and stay strong whenever it does.I am hoping that I will be strong when temptation does indeed rear it's ugly head again.
Tomorrow,I have a Men's Network meeting that I need to attend and I am hoping that it goes great.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I had some things planned and I wanted to get the accomplished.
I first went to a spirituality group that I attend every Thursday.I always look forward to attending this and I was looking forward to it today as usual.
The group was wonderful.I got so much out of it all.After the group,I headed over to a community kitchen to have lunch.After eating lunch,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up several things.After paying for those items,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things there as well.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away in their proper places and I relaxed and watched some TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to act out was minimal if nil at best today.I really didn't have the temptation to act out in any way,shape or form.Still,despite escaping today,I need to stay on guard and be watchful.Temptation can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I may not have been tempted today,but I can be tempted tomorrow and the day after that and so on.I am not waiting for it to happen.It is just that I have to keep in mind that it can happen and when it does happen,I have to fight the temptation and resist the temptation to sin.I know that it won't be easy,but it can be done.I will have to keep fighting this and be determined not to give in.It will take all of my strength,but I know that I can do it.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up a little later than usual and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed for much of the rest of the morning before getting dressed to get ready for the appointment that I had today.
I had an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor today and I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.It has been several weeks since my last session with her and I wanted to update her on what has been going on in my life since the last session.I had a lot to talk with her about and again,I was looking forward to this.
The session went wonderful.It was really a great talk that I had with her.I shared with her everything that was going in my life,including the medical tests that I recently went through.After the session,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few things that were needed for the home.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery is continuing,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping that my recovery continues and that I start improving in the near and distant future.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,today was the first day in a while that I had no morning erections.I had really no temptation to act out today as my temptation was almost non-existant.I only had a small urge to act out,but I managed to fight this and I was okay for the rest of the day.For the rest of the day,my temptation to act out was minimal if nil at best.Though I was happy about this,I still have to keep on guard and be watchful as temptation can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I escaped today,but tomorrow and the near future are other days.One day may be good,but the others may be not so good.I just have to keep fighting this when it does indeed come around.Temptation can happen when least expected and when it happens,I will have to fight it.The fight with temptation is never an easy fight,but it can be won if I can remain strong and keep fighting when it comes.Again,I may have escaped today,but there is always tomorrow and the day after that and so on.I know that being tempted isn't sinful,but it is sinful to give into the temptation.I still have to keep that in mind.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend and I am hoping that it goes well.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up later than I wanted to and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After having my breakfast,I got dressed and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had a pretty busy day planned.I had to go see the nurse practitioner over at the local hospital to get my new prescription and to hear the results of the medical tests that I had to go through at the orders of my general doctor.I was looking forward to this with a lot positive anticipation and enthusiasm.I was also hoping for some good news considering the tests.
The session went well and after I got my prescription,I headed for home.I also got the results of at least two of my tests.My blood work came back great as my cholesterol was low and my blood sugar was good.I am still pretty healthy and also,my cat scan revealed that I have a minor sinus problem and that is why I have headaches frequently.Since I can't take any over the counter decongestants as a result of my having high blood pressure,I will have to invest in getting Echinacea with GoldenSeal tea to take to relieve sinus pressure.I have to get some.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up some stuff that was needed for the home.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched some TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours.I woke up with another erection in the middle of the night and my temptation to masturbate it away was very strong.The erection was also another throbber.I was breathing heavily to try to resist the temptation to masturbate the erection away as I really had the overwhelming desire to simply masturbate this away.I tossed and I turned,but finally decided to get up as I had to use the bathroom.As I walked to the bathroom,my penis softened and after I used the bathroom,I went back to sleep.For the rest of the day,my temptation to act out was minimal if nil at best.While I did escape this,the temptation to act out will rear it's ugly head again.I am not waiting for it,but I know that I have to stay on guard as that temptation will again rear it's ugly head.I just have to hang in there and remain strong whenever that happens.I know that I am imperfect human,but I can't let myself be enslaved to sin or act out on my desires.I have to let my imperfect state know that I am the boss of my body and my body is not my boss.I have to keep reminding myself that I can never let my sexuality own me.I have to let my sexuality know that I own it.It is going to be a challenge,but I am more than able to live up to that challenge.I have to remain strong and let my body know that I am it's boss and not the other way around.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my sexual abuse support counselor and I am hoping that the session goes well.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up later than I wanted to and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed as I had a lot planned for the day.
I had a couple of groups on my agenda today.They were both in the early afternoon.But before I went to those,I had lunch at a local community kitchen and after eating that,I headed over to the location where the groups were so I could attend them and get what I needed out of them.
The groups both went well.After they were over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some money for my mom and myself.After that,I headed over to the local Sears to pick up some things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the money at the Where's George site and after that,I went back out to get some dinner from the local McDonalds.
After eating when I got home,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I had a double whammy in the wee early morning hours.I actually,for the first time in a long time,wound up with two morning erections.The first happened around 4:30am while the second happened around 6:15am.My temptation to masturbate these away was very overwhelming and strong.For the first one,I tossed and turned until my penis softened while with the second one,I simply got up as I had to use the bathroom anyway.While walking to the bathroom,my penis softened.For the rest of the day,my temptation to act out was mild,but still strong.I resisted the temptation to act out all day focusing on good things and thinking about all the ways that God helped set me free from the trap of Homosexuality.I stayed focused on that for the rest of the day and the temptation to act out slowly weakened.But again,I still need to keep on guard whenever temptation rears it's ugly head.It can when least expected.I have to stay on guard and be watchful.Temptation can come when least expected.When it does,I have to fight it.I know that being tempted,in itself,is not sinful.But giving in to the temptation is sinful.Again,I need to continue to stay on guard and be watchful and keep fighting temptation whenever it rears it's ugly head.
Tomorrow,I have to see the nurse practitioner at the local hospital.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ