Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a few things planned.
It was a rocky day for me yesterday.In the early afternoon,I was getting up off of a chair to help my mom to the bathroom,when she started to suddenly have pain in her back.She also couldn't breathe without feeling pain.I immediately called my niece who when she arrived,called her mom and her mom advised her to call an ambulance,which she did.The ambulance arrived quickly and took her to the local hospital.I continued on with my day while still awaiting from my niece or my sister about my mom's status.I spent the rest of the evening in the house alone,but tried to pass the time watching TV,but when I tried to sleep last night,I had a difficult time trying too get to sleep as a result of the stress of the day and everything connected with it.
Today,I simply did a few important things,like pay a bill at the local Sears store and also,checking out the local thrift stores for anything.After that,I headed over to the local hospital to pay my mom a visit after hearing what her room number is.
After spending some time with my mom,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple boxes of trash bags.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched some TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this to God in the name of son Jesus Christ's name and I do feel a tad better.Therapy does help and medication also does help,but God and Christ do things beyond human therapy and man made medication can do.It is simply a matter of talking to God and helping me to endure through the most difficult days and make them a little bearable.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all my strength to fight and resist this temptation as it was a very overwhelming one.I simply sat up for a while and when I did,the erection died down and I simply went back to sleep.There was also an episode where I grabbed my genitals and started to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of erecting or near erecting them so I could masturbate,but stopped myself and asked God for forgiveness for doing that.Though I did escape these two particular episodes,I still have to keep in mind the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in a constant battle with these unnatural desires that I have and the battle can be a very difficult fight and struggle.There are times that I have to simply tough it out and just fight these temptations as giving into them are sinful.Though the struggle seems overwhelming,I still continue to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems way too unbearable to handle.I simply throw the temptation on them and after talking about it with them,I feel better as the temptation is reduced to nil.It is never easy wanting to do the right thing,but to gain and get God's approval for trying to do the right thing,though I do fall short at times,is always worth it.If I do indeed fall,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive and after that,the slate is wiped clean and it is forgotten by God.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything.
Tomorrow,it is simply church as usual,including the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.I am also planning to visit my mom in the hospital for a few minutes as well.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing else planned,but I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,in between helping my mom to and from the bathroom,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had some stuff planned.
I stayed at home for much of the afternoon as my niece,who only spent a few minutes here at home with my mom and I,went to do some stuff for us.I stayed home and hung out and continued helping my mom out with various things around the house until my niece came back later on in the day.
When she did,I headed over to my appointment with the pastor to have our last one on one study session to reinstate me as a member of the church.I went over there with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The session went great.After some small talk,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed over to the bank to withdraw some money.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a short spell.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or from one minute to the next.It is a very difficult thing to deal with.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggle with BPD even more difficult.I will still continue with my therapy sessions and I will continue to take my medication as directed.I am still going to continue to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to get too difficult or seemingly too impossible to handle.I simply take it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help sustain me.This shows that I am not alone in my recovery and that is wonderful.It also makes the struggle a tad easier when I rely on God and Christ more.Thanks to both of them for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my own strength to fight and resist this current temptation.I simply sat up for a while and as I was sitting up,the erection died down and I simply went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might be,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in a constant fight with these unnatural desires that I have to resist the temptation to act out on them.I am also still having a problem with manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near erect for masturbatory purposes and I still would love to stop doing that.I am so used to doing that since I was younger and now,it has become an unclean,stubborn and disgusting habit that I can't seem to stop.I am always yearning for people to help me with this.I want to know what has worked for you whenever this craving comes around.Please share and I will try to use it to the best of my abilities.I will also continue to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever these temptations come around.I will simply throw the temptation on God in the name of son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for doing so and after that,the slate is wiped clean and it is forgotten by God.While doing that,I also yearn for prayers by those who follow this blog and for any helpful advice given.Thanks in advance for any prayers and advice offered and also,Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning to help my mom to get to and from the bathroom.After that was done,I went back to sleep.Later on,my niece came over to take my mom to see a doctor about radiation therapy.I woke up some time later on and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to my usual Spirituality group today and I was looking forward to that with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after I was done eating,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I still attend my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to get too overwhelming or seemingly too unbearable to deal and endure with.I simply talk about it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I feel a little bit better.It shows that I am not alone in my struggles and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate twice in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by throbbing erections at two separate intervals at the time.These temptations to masturbate were really overwhelming.On both of these occasions,I sat up and as I did,the erection softened and I didn't lay back down until the erections were both dead.I went back to sleep after both of these occurrences.Though I escaped these two episodes,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,mo matter what form it might be,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in a constant fight to resist the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.If it isn't with morning erections,it is lusting after men,which tempts me to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near erect for masturbatory purposes,which is one temptation that I am having a difficult time with as this is one that I am usually giving in to.I need help in resisting that sort of temptation as well.I am seeking advice and also,requesting that prayers be made so I can beat this particular temptation.I have asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that particular temptation,but I keep doing it constantly.I want to stop doing that.I will keep praying to God for help,but I also need prayers by others as well,especially by those who keep track of my blog here or from somebody who just happens to run across this blog while surfing the net.Again,I will keep praying to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to resist these temptations,but I also ask for prayers by others as well.Thanks in advance for anything offered.
Tomorrow,I have my meeting with the pastor of the church as our personal studies are now winding down.As for much and the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning,because I was awakened by mom out of a deep sleep,and I had to help her to the bathroom.After she was done,I led her back to her room and I went back to sleep.I woke back up in the mid morning and after doing a few things for my mom,I bathed,After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed because I had a few errands to run and while my niece stayed to watch mom,I went out to do them.
I first went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed and after paying for those,I headed over to a local McDonalds to have a McDouble sandwich.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I heated up a can of soup as I was still hungry and after eating that,I did my personal PC work.When I was finished with that,I relaxed and I took it easy.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with having BPD.I never how my mood will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I simply can't predict how my mood will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.Even when it does seem to be getting too overwhelming for me to deal with,that is when I take it to both God and his son Jesus Christ.I simply talk about this with both God and Christ and after that,I feel a little bit better as it is in their hands.The struggle with any kind of mental illness is never an easy one,but with the help of both God and Christ,I am never alone in this.Thanks to both of them for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I simply started to get up and when I did,the erection started to soften and after sitting up for a few minutes,the erection was now gone and I laid back down to go back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind the the temptation to act out on thee unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might take,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in the fight to resist any type of temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.When it does seem to be getting too overwhelming and/or seemingly impossible,I simply throw the temptation on both God and his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me and getting me through any temptations.It is great that I can rely on them for help and that I am not in this struggle alone.I simply throw the temptation on God in the name of his Jesus Christ and I feel better as the temptation is nil.If in the event that I do give into the temptation,I simply ask God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I feel better as the slate is wiped clean and the sin is forgiven and forgotten by God.Thanks to both God and Christ for being there and for helping is sustaining me whenever any temptations seems to get way too overwhelming or unbearable to handle.Thanks again to both God and Christ for everything.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group and my usual lunch at the local kitchen.I have no other things,But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning to help my mom get to the bathroom and back to bed and I went back to sleep.I woke up later on in the morning and after helping my mom again,I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a few things planned.Before I did everything that I had to do,I waited until my niece got home with my mom.That way,if they needed any help from me,I was there.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money.After that,I went to a local supermarket to turn in some pennies that I had for much needed cash.After that was done,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up some much needed sleep aid.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a few minutes and I helped out with some more cleaning up around the house.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my road to recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from one day to the next or from one minute to the next.I don't know if I will be up and feeling good or down and not so good.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.I will still continue my therapy sessions.I will also continue to take my medication as directed.I am still going to continue to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this struggle seems to get way too difficult or seemingly too impossible to handle.I simply talk about this to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever I can't seem to get through and after that,I feel a little bit better.It shows that I am never alone.Thanks to both God and Christ for all of their help.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.Fortunately,my mom needed help to get to the bathroom when that happened,so the erection died while I was getting her to the bathroom and after I got her back to the room so she could go back to sleep,I also went back to sleep.But later on,I started to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near erect for the purpose of masturbation.I stopped and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sin.Though I escaped these episodes,I still have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might take,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in a fight to resist any temptation that comes to me.I always have to keep in mind that acting out on these unnatural desires that I have will only please Satan and not please God.I also have to keep in mind that acting out on these unnatural desires that I have will never give me what I want,which is affirmation of my gender identity,which is male,and the feelings of authenticity that come with that affirmation.Acting out on these unnatural desires that I have will only reinforce the Homosexual identity,which is the identity that I am working to disown and distance myself from.I only accept my true identity,which is male and I refuse to accept anything else other than that.I am also continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more than anyone else.Whenever the temptations seem to get too overwhelming or seemingly too impossible to resist,I simply throw the temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.If I ever do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling and after that,I can move on with the rest of the day as the slate is wiped clean and the sin is forgiven and forgotten by both God and Christ.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for being here and showing that I never have to struggle alone.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning,but had to help my mom to the bathroom and back to her room.After that,I went back to sleep and didn't get back up until later on.When I did get up again,I bathed,had my breakfast and did at least some or my personal PC work.After that,when my niece came over,I headed over to my Monday afternoon group and was looking forward to that.
The group went great.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up quite a few more things.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished my personal PC work.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.I also helped out around the house with more cleaning up.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood will be day after day or minute after minute.I never know if I will be up and feeling good or down and not so good.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.It also makes my struggles even tougher.I still attend my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ a lot more than anything else.Whenever the struggle seems to be getting too overwhelming,I simply turn to both of them and they help sustain me.I never have nothing to fear once they are in control.It is still difficult,but I know that I am not enduring alone.Thanks to both of them for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another throbbing erection.I had to get up when my mom called me to help her to the bathroom.After I got her back in bed,I laid back down and went to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,which can take any form,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to always stay on guard and be watchful as it can come when I don't suspect anything.It is always a difficult thing to endure and I really hate to endure this sort of temptation as the sexual activity connected with SSA is sinful and unacceptable to God.I am still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever these temptations seem to be way too powerful for me to handle.I simply take it to both God and Christ and after that,I feel better as the temptation is reduced to nil after that.I also have to remember to go to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever I am tempted to look at porn in any way,shape or form or to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them.I will have to keep on praying and throwing every temptation on both God and Christ whenever the struggle seems to get way too overwhelming for me to handle.If I do ever give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into temptation and after that,the slate is wiped clean and forgotten by both God and Christ.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up and when my sister,who lives locally,stopped in,I headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and worship service were wonderful.I had some wonderful fellowship before and after the service.After it was all over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and while a friend of the family worked on cleaning the living room and I put my mom back to bed after she took her afternoon medication,I did my personal PC work and after the living room was cleaned,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.I also managed to get in some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.For me,going to church every Sunday always makes the day eventful.
While my road to recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster that goes with it.I never know how my mood will be from day to day,or from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also makes my SSA struggles even tougher.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more than anything.Whenever the struggle seems way too overwhelming,I simply take it to God and Christ and I feel a tad better.It is simply a matter of letting both God and Christ take the wheel and lead the way.After talking to them and letting take the lead,I do feel a tad better.Thanks to both of them for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the early afternoon when I masturbated.Yes,I did.I really felt miserable and I did ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling.I did feel better,but I still have to continually work on fighting and resiting any temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.I know the origin and motivation for the falling.I have been under a lot of stress as of late.My mom getting hurt and being diagnosed with cancer,though fortunately it was caught early and my mom has a 99% chance of recovery,all the negative baloney that I have been getting from my sister's while cleaning the house and also,the forceful and aggressive way that my locally living sister has been with me throughout this whole thing,including shooting me down(so to speak)whenever I try to take the lead in something and also all other things that have been really driving me up the wall and driving me crazy.This is why that my recovery has been rocky and rough as of late as I have a lot on my plate and all the stress and strain of what they family,though meaning well,has been lately.I have to learn to stay strong and cool during all of this as it has also been arousing my anger as of late as well and that also plays a factor in my recovery from SSA.I will really have to continue to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever these situations go awry and seem to be getting out of control.I really have to continue relying on them to help me stay cool,calm and slow to anger as God is slow to anger(psalm 103:8)and also,to stay focused on my goals to heal and resist any temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.I will have to really start praying hard and really ask them for help in my fights to resist any form of temptation.I am also asking for prayers by those who have been reading and following my blog regularly as they are appreciated.Thanks in advance for them.I really need prayers right now.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Monday afternoon building and improving self esteem group.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and,after helping my mom out for a few minutes,I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of my day.
I only had one errand to run.I simply went to a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things that were needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the stuff that I bought away and I helped out with the clean-up over at the house.I had only a little bit to do today and when I was done,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my road to recovery continues to go forward,I am still battling the symptoms of BPD on a daily basis.I am always on a constant emotional roller coaster ride and it can get pretty monotonous at times.I don't know if I will be up and feeling good or down and feeling not so good.At times,it happens all on the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply take it to both God and Christ and they help keep me sustained and cool.I have nothing to fear nor worry about with them leading the way and taking control.It doesn't make the struggle any easier,but it does make it only a tad bearable.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for being there and for always taking the lead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by a throbbing erection.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming temptation.I simply sat up and as while I did,the erection slowly died down and after helping my mom to the bathroom and back to bed,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might take,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.The temptation can be a very overwhelming one at that.I want to do the right thing,but the unnatural desires that I have want me to do the opposite.Even when it does seem to get too overwhelming,I still rely on God and his son Jesus Christ a lot more whenever the struggle seems to get too overwhelming.I simply take the temptation to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is nil.I can then move on with the rest of the day.If I ever do give into any temptations,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for that and after that,the slate is wiped clean and I feel better after doing that.It is wonderful that I am not alone in my struggles and that is very reassuring.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,it is church as usual,including the morning's Holy Bible study class before the worship service.I will also help with the clean-up tomorrow if and when needed.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast and in between helping out my mom,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had some important stuff that I needed to do.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things that I needed.After that,I headed over to a local shopping mall for a few other things.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put everything that I bought away and I got ready for my appointment with the pastor for our personal one on one studies.I headed over there with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The study session went great.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed only for a short spell.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
My recovery is moving onward,but it is still a rough and rocky road ahead.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with BPD and the emotional roller coaster rode that goes with it.It is a constant fight and struggle that I deal and struggle with,but I am still hanging in there.I don't know if I will be up and feeling good or down and not so good.It sometimes happens all on the same day.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.It also makes my struggles with SSA even more difficult.I still attend my therapy sessions.I still take my medication as directed.I am still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be feeling to unbearable to endure.With them,I simply throw it on them and I feel a little bit better.It is a matter of having them take over and sustaining me.Thanks to both of them for all their help and direction.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation by masturbating two consecutive times over the last 12 hours.I gave into it late last night and in the wee early morning hours today.It was a combination of emotional and sexual images of men clouding my mind.On both of these occasions,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling on both of these occasions and after begging God for his mercy and forgiveness as a result of my falling,I did feel better as the slate is wiped clean.I have really been tempted as of late as a result of all the stress that has been happening in my life at this moment.My mom getting hurt,my sisters taking over the house like Grant took Richmond when it comes to getting the house cleaned up for our conveniences and everything else that has been happening.I was really sorry for falling on both of these occasions.I have to really start getting serious about this and make it a habit of taking this God and Christ whenever temptations starts to rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to make that a habit or else I will be falling constantly.I hate it when I fail as I at times feel that I am not doing enough to resist these temptations.I ask for prayers by those who are reading and following this blog of mine.They are always appreciated.I really need prayers right now.I am struggling and getting tempted like crazy.Thanks in advance for all the prayers offered.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning,after helping my mom out,and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I hurriedly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had some things on my agenda today.I first went to my usual Thursday spirituality group and I was looking forward to that group with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was all over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have myself some lunch and after I was finished,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to check on a couple of friends to see how they were doing.After spending a few minutes with them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I helped out with some more cleaning up around the house.There was still a lot to get done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my mood will be from day to day or at times,from moment to moment.I never know if I will be up and feeling good or down and not so good.It is just an endless cycle of things.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.I have to also continually put up with hearing things that other people don't hear.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this struggle seems to get out of hand.I simply talk to them about it and after that,I feel a little bit better.The struggle with BPD and schizophrenic tendencies is a difficult struggle indeed,but I am managing.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.The urge to masturbate was really overwhelming and I had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I simply sat up and I didn't lay back down until the erection died down.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in a constant battle over these desires and my desire to do the right thing in God's eyes.I want to always do the right thing,but these unnatural desires that I have want me to indulge in sinful sexual activity.Still,I am relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggles seems way too unbearable to handle.Whenever I get tempted,I simply take it to both God and Christ in prayer and after that,the temptation is nil.I do it whenever temptation comes around.After throwing it on both God and Christ,I feel better and I can move on with the rest of the day.If I get tempted again before the day is through,I simply throw it again on both God and Christ and it is again nil.If I do give into temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and I feel better.Thanks to both God and Christ for all of their help.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with the pastor to continue my studies with him.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I,after I helped my mom out and after my niece took over,I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.My niece stayed at the house for much of the day.
I stayed home for much of the day helping out with the cleaning up.It was a lot of work to do and all,but we got a lot more done than we planned on getting done.It took several hours,but we got more done and I also ran errands when I had to run them.After several hours,my sisters left and I relaxed for a while as I was tired.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I don't know how I will be from day to day or from minute to minute within the same day.I don't know if I will be up and feeling good or down and not so good.The emotional roller coaster ride can get pretty monotonous at times.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.While that can be so,I am still continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to get way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk to them about it and afterwards,I feel a little bit better.Thanks to both of them for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I simply got up as I had to get up and help my mom out because she had to go to the bathroom.After helping her out,I went back to sleep.I was fortunate for that as that was my means of escape.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to continually stay on guard and be watchful.The temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might be,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always in a fight against these unnatural desires and the temptations that I get to act out on them.The struggle to do the right thing in the eyes of God can be a really difficult one.The unnatural desires that I have want me to indulge in sinful sexual activity with other men,but I want to do the right thing and NOT act out on these unnatural desires that I have.The desires that I have want me to do the opposite,but I simply have chosen to NOT act out on them.Though the struggle is a difficult one,I am still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever it seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw the temptations onto God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help sustain me.I simply talk about the temptation until the temptation is nil and after that,I can move on with the rest of the day.If it happens again on the same day,I simply take it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ again and after that,I continue moving forward.If I do give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for that and after that,I feel better as the slate is wiped clean.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for taking the wheel,leading the way and guiding me away from anything evil.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend and a lunch at a local kitchen.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I helped out my sisters and my niece with the clean-up around the house.
My mom came home yesterday and we are still working on getting the house cleaned up for her.We are halfway there and it is coming along good.We might be finished by the end of the week and I think that it will look good after it is finally finished.
The clean-up took several hours and after they were done for the evening,my sisters and my niece headed for home and my mom went back to bed and I relaxed for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
My recovery continues onward,but it is still a rough and rocky road that I am on.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller ride that goes with having BPD.I really don't know how I will be from one day to the next or from one minute to the rest.I simply don't know how I will be.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.While that is so,I am still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult to handle.I simply talk to them about it and after that,I feel a little bit better.When they take the lead,I have really nothing to fear nor worry about.Thanks to the both of them for all that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my own strength to fight and resist this temptation as it was a really overwhelming temptation.I simply started to sit up and the erection started to soften.I sat up for a while until the erection was gone.After that,I went back to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I am still staying on guard and being watchful as the temptation to act out on the unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form they take,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I simply don't know when it will strike.Still,whenever it happens,I can simply take it to both God and his son Jesus Christ by simply talking about the temptation.I simply throw it on them and put it in both of their hands.After that,the temptation is nil.I feel better after telling both God and Christ about that and I can then move on with the rest of the day.If it happens that I do give into the temptation,I simply go to God and him in the name of son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my falling and after that,I can move on.Thanks to both God and Christ for being there whenever they are needed.With them leading the way and taking the wheel,I can overcome anything.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to my usual Monday afternoon building and improving self esteem group and I was looking forward to it.I headed over there with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group went well.After it was over,I headed over to the hospital to spend a few minutes with my mom and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I called my niece over to help me with some more cleaning up around the house and later on,my sisters came over to help out more.The cleaning took several hours,but we did get a lot more done.After they left,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched a little more TV and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery moves onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.It is never an easy thing to deal with and it does get really hard at times.I don't know if I will be up and feeling good or down and not so good.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.Each and every day has it's own difficulties.Then again,I am still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable.I simply take it to them and they help sustain me.I feel a little bit better once I have taken it to both God and Christ and I can simply move on after that.Thanks to both God and Christ for all of their help.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.It was also another overwhelming urge as I really had to fight to resist this temptation.I simply started sitting up and the erection started to soften and after a few minutes,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I have to continually keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.The urge to give into this temptation can be very overwhelming indeed.I am always at war with the desire to do the right thing in God's eyes and to indulge in the sinful sexual activity that is associated with the so called "Gay" lifestyle.My battle to continue doing to right thing still rages on.But as I have said before,I still continue to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more when the urge to indulge in anything sinful seems to get too overwhelming.Whenever the temptation to act out comes around and the temptation is really strong,I simply take it to God in the name of son Jesus Christ and I really talk it out to them and afterwards,I feel better.I then can move on with the rest of the day.It is wonderful to have God and Christ leading the way and not letting me be really overwhelmed by temptation.It is great.Thanks to both and Christ for all of their help.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had so much planned.
Today,we had a special outdoor church service at a park where there was a picnic after that.The worship service was wonderful and I had a very good time at the picnic afterwards.After spending several hours talking with church members and others,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a spell and after that,joined my family while they were cleaning up the house to prepare for my mom's return home,which is supposed to be sometime this coming week.I am hoping that my mom recovers soon.
After doing some work around the house,I relaxed and did some recommended Holy Bible reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.To me,going to church each and every Sunday makes the day eventful.
While my recovery continues to go forward,I am still dealing and struggling,on a daily basis,with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I am usually on a constant ride with my emotional make up and at times,it gets pretty difficult.I don't know if I will be up and feeling good or down and feeling not so good.At times,it happens within the same day.I also schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be too unbearable to handle.It is never easy struggling with BPD or schizophrenic tendencies,but with God and Christ's help,it makes it a tad easier.I simply take it to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I do feel a little bit better,though I am still dealing with the issues.Thanks to both God and Christ for all of their help.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I simply sat up and the erection died down while I was sitting up.After a few minutes,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected and I have to stay on guard and be watchful at all times.The temptations to act out can be very overwhelming at times.When that happens,I simply rely on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult to handle.I simply thrown the temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after I am finished praying,the temptation is reduced to nil.I always feel better whenever I pray the temptation away.The struggle with SSA is never an easy one,but with the help and leading of both God and his son Jesus Christ,I can escape and be sustained.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all of their help.
Tomorrow,I have a group that I must attend.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to move forward,I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and before getting dressed,I decided to do some more cleaning up around the house to prepare for my mom's coming home.I even got a phone call from my mom this morning as well.
After doing some more cleaning up,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I decided to first pay a visit to my mom in the hospital to see if she has improved any more.She has improved minimally and that is good.After spending some time with her,I left the hospital and headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did a little bit more cleaning up and I relaxed while watching a movie.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
While my road to recovery continues to go forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.It is never and easy thing to deal with.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.I am continuing to attend my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more to help keep me sustained.Without them,I would be on the road to nowhere.The medication that I take does help,but the help of God and Christ does more than what medication can do.Whenever the struggle seems to feel out of control or too unbearable,I throw it on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and that helps keep me sustained.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.The urge to masturbate it away was really overwhelming and I tossed and turned,but decided to sit up and as I did that,the erection softened and for a while,I continued sitting up until the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,regardless of what form the temptation might be,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I am always staying on guard and being watchful as these temptations can come whenever I am not expecting them.The temptations can be very overwhelming and the urge to give in can be pretty strong.But as I said before,when that happens,I still rely on God and his son Jesus Christ to get me through.Whenever the temptations get too overwhelming and the urge to give in strong,I throw it on God and his son Jesus Christ and I keep talking about it until the temptation is nil and I can go on with the rest of the day.If the temptations come back,I simply go to God and Christ again and it is also the same as it was earlier when the initial temptation happened.Thanks again to both God and Christ for all their help and also,for setting me free from the trap of Homosexuality/SSA and for opening my eyes to the truth.Thanks to both of them for everything.
Tomorrow morning,there is a special outdoor church service in a park where a picnic is going to be after the service and I am looking forward to that.with the rest of the day,I am just going to do some more cleaning up and relax for the rest of the day.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
After eating a light lunch,I decided to go to the hospital and pat my mom a visit.After spending some time talking with her and everything,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I called my niece and she came over to do some necessary cleaning up around the house to prepare for my mom's coming home.After it was done,which took some time,I relaxed and I popped a DVD in the player and watched it.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues to go onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I don't know if I will be up and feeling good or down and not so good.It sometimes happens all on the same day.I simply don't know how my mood will be from one day to the next or from one minute to the next.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggle even more difficult.But despite these difficulties,I still rely on God and his son Jesus Christ more than on my own strength.I am still in therapy and I am still taking my medication as directed,but that is not enough,as I do need God and Christ in my life to help ease me whenever this struggle seems to be getting out of control or too unbearable to endure.Without them,I would be on the road to nowhere and the struggle would feel too unbearable.I am constantly relying on them to help sustain me and keep me on the right track.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.Fortunately,it didn't last long.I simply started to sit up and as I did,the erection started to soften.I sat up for a while and didn't lay back down until my genitals were soft.I had to get up and use the bathroom anyway and when I was finished in the bathroom,I laid back down.Though I did escape the episode,I am still keeping in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to continually stay on guard and be watchful as I never know when the temptation will strike.It seems to strike when I am not even thinking of anything sexual,but somehow,anything sexual can cross my mind at anytime.I am still going to continue to rely on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever that temptation rears it's ugly head at me.I simply throw it on them and they help in sustaining me and helping me to clear my mind of anything immoral.I simply keep talking to them about it and I don't stop until it fades away.The more that I do that,the more I feel better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I really didn't have much time,so I got dressed and I headed for my spirituality group.
The group meeting was wonderful.After the group was over,I had a quick lunch courtesy of the program that had the group within it and after eating that,I headed for the post office to mail out something that needed to be mailed out.After that was done,I headed over to the hospital,but my mom wasn't in her room as she went to another place outside the hospital for tests and after waiting some time,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I finally got around to doing my personal PC work and was glad to have gotten it done.After it was finished,I relaxed and watched A DVD while relaxing.In between all of that,I did manage to phone my niece to see how everything was,but they had no real concrete answers as of yet.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and that is a very difficult thing to struggle with.I have to continually put up with the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD and it is never easy.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God more than on my own strength because I would be nowhere without God and his son Jesus Christ leading the way.The struggle with mental illness is always a difficult thing,but relying on God and Christ more makes it only a tad easier.I am going to have to continue relying on God more because without them,the struggle might seem to get too unbearable to handle.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.After I fell yesterday,I didn't want to fall again today as this urge was really overwhelming.I simply turned to God and asked him to keep me strong and to help sustain me in the midst of this temptation.I kept up praying until my penis started to soften and after the prayer,I had to get up and use the bathroom and after I was finished,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still have to keep in mind that the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have,no matter what form it might take or be,can rear it's ugly head when least expected.The temptation to act out can take many forms and I get tempted daily to act out in many ways.Last night,I really had to talk in prayer to God and explain everything to him as I really didn't know why I was being tempted and that I didn't know whether I was coming or going as a result of being tempted constantly.I really poured out my soul to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I was almost on the verge of tears when I did that.I did feel better as a result of that and I did sleep pretty good.I have to continually rely on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ more and to keep constantly asking them to keep me strong in the face of temptation.I know that I can't rely on my own as that will make me fail constantly.I will continue to pray and ask for help continuously whenever temptation seems to rear it's ugly head at me.Thanks to both God and Christ for their help.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to visit with my mom at the hospital.After spending some time with her,I headed out to finish what I had to do.
I first went to a local restaurant for a quick lunch and after eating,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff away and was hoping that my niece would come over and help me get rid of some stuff that needed to be thrown away,but something came up and it couldn't be done.As a result of this change of plans,I relaxed while watching a DVD.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD on a daily basis.It is a very difficult thing to struggle with and it is never an easy thing at all.I am usually on a continuous emotional roller coaster ride that happens day after day and at times,it happens all on the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.But again,I rely on God and his son Jesus whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable to handle.I simply talk to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I do feel a tad better.It is still a difficult struggle,but with God and Christ both leading the way,it is a tad easier.It shows that I never have to struggle alone.Thanks to both of them for everything.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again fell early this morning when I masturbated until ejaculation and it was both emotional and to degrading sexual images of men.When that happened,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for that fall and after I was through praying,I felt better as I now knew that the slate was wiped clean.Lately,sexual images of men have been really clouding my mind and I really don't know why.For quite a while,I didn't have this problem,but now,they seem to be coming back with a vengeance.I think that this is the work of Satan and his minions.I know too much about the truth about Homosexuality that Satan and his minions are using these images to try and woo me back into that sinful sexual lifestyle known as the so called "Gay" lifestyle.I am trying to say to the devil "NO",but the unnatural desires that I have are being used by the devil to try and get me to change my mind about that sinful sexual lifestyle that God abhors and condemns in his sacred word,the Holy Bible,and he is using every evil weapon on me to get me to change my mind.But I must tell that wicked and powerful angel known as Satan that I am going to try and follow God's laws instead of following the world under his control.I fell today,but I have to try and continue to use all of my strength to fight and resist these urges.I have to keep saying to myself:"I am a Heterosexual man with a Homosexual problem".My body is made to be compatible with a female and it is not to be used for anything else that is sinful,immoral and unacceptable.I also have to keep relying on God and his son Jesus Christ for strength to resist these urges and to continue to seek them and their guidance in everything.Thanks to them both for all of their hard work.I am also seeking prayers from those who follow my blog regularly and they are always appreciated.Thanks in advance for all prayers offered and please share a friendly word or two on my blog as an encouragement.A positive comment or two would really make my day,especially when it is encouraging.Thanks again in advance.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend.I also have plans to have lunch at a local kitchen,mail out an important letter and visit my mom at the hospital.Aside from these things,I have nothing else planned.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up early when the phone rang.It was my mom calling from the hospital and after talking with her for a few minutes,I went back to sleep for another hour.After that,I got up and I bathed.After my bath,I had breakfast,a couple cups of coffee and after that was done,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I decided to pop a DVD in the DVD player and relaxed while watching it.
After lunch,I headed over to the hospital to pay my mom a little visit.After spending some time talking with her,I headed out for home,but first went for a drive to find a certain location where a special outdoor worship service is going to be held this coming Sunday and that will include a picnic lunch.After finding where the location was,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched another DVD while doing so.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.It is a very difficult struggle indeed,but I still continue to hang in there and keep living and going on with life.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes the struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more when the struggle seems to feel too unbearable to handle.I simply turn to them in prayer and they help keep me sustained and help me to deal with this struggle one day at a time.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.When this happened,I simply turned to God in prayer to help get me through this temptation as it was a very overwhelming urge to give in.I simply kept talking to God until the erection softened and I went back to sleep thanking him.Later on,I had to stop myself from manipulating my genitals to get them erect for the purpose of masturbation and yes,sexual images of men were again clouding my mind.I stopped myself and I asked God to forgive me for that and after that,I felt netter.I guess that the next time that this particular urge comes,I have to turn to God and his son Jesus Christ for the purpose of being strengthened to resist that unclean practice of touching myself inappropriately and asking God to help me resist that urge.This type of urge gets really overwhelming.I have a difficult time trying to resist this type of urge.I am going to have to continue praying to God whenever this urge comes around.I don't want to have a share in any immoral sexual activity,including the sexual activity between two members of the same gender.I am asking for some prayers by those who continually follow my blog.Please pray for me and also,pray for my mom who is in the hospital recuperating.Please offer prayers as I would really appreciate that.Thanks in advance for doing so.Thanks also to God and Christ for all of their help.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to my usual Monday afternoon group for building and improving self esteem.I was looking forward to this as I usually do every week.I headed over there with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group went great and after the group was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the hospital to see how my mom was doing and after several minutes,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD in the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my recovery continues onward,it is still a rough and rocky road at best.Then again,it goes with the territory of having BPD.My mood changes by the day and at times,it changes within the same day.I don't know if I will be up and feeling good or down and not so good.It is a continuous emotional roller coaster ride that I am on and at times,it can feel like it will become unbearable.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes it even more difficult.I am still going to continue my therapy sessions.I am also going to continue taking my medication as directed.Aside from that,I am also going to continue relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more when it seems that it is really getting too unbearable to handle.I simply talk to both God and Christ and they help sustain me.It is wonderful to rely on the one responsible for me being here and the son that he sent for us to break us free from the bondage of sin.Thanks again to both God and Christ for that.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.Like the previous two occurrences,this didn't last very long.I simply started to get up and the erection started to die down.I sat up for about a few minutes and when the erection fully softened,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Later on while bathing,my mind started to wander and degrading sexual images of men started to cloud my mind and I had to stop myself as I was also attempting to get erect by manipulating my genitals to attain erection and then proceed to masturbation.I simply asked God to forgive me for that and after that,I felt better.Though I escaped those episodes,I still have to continually stay on guard and be watchful as the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can rear it's ugly head when least expected.I have to use all my strength and know how to fight and resist these urges.It can get really difficult as the urge to act out can be really strong and overwhelming.While that can be,I am still relying on God and his son Jesus Christ more when the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable to handle and/or endure.I simply throw it on God in the name of son Jesus Christ and after that,the temptation is reduced to nil.I have to continue praying and relying on God and Christ more.Without them,it is impossible to endure and fight.Thanks to both God and Christ for that.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But whatever I choose to do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ