Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed quickly.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and headed over to the Men's Network meeting.
The meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas.After that was done.I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I had a light lunch and when I was finished,I decided to pay a visit to a friend to see how they were doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home and stayed there for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues onward,I am still on my constant battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.It is a never ending roller coaster ride that never seems to end.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day or from minute/moment to minute/moment.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seems to be getting too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It also shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle as both God and his son Jesus Christ give power beyond what any human therapy can give and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,but the good thing is that it didn't last very long.I sat up and my genitals softened as I was doing so.When they were fully soft,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and I kept up in prayer throughout the day as the temptations kept coming at me.I kept throwing every temptation on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist the temptations.I kept it up all day and I always felt better when I did that.Though I continue to pray and pray,I am still asking that everyone who continues to follow and read my blog to continue praying for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section on my blog as both your prayers and your positive comments help keep me going.I see that quite a few people visit my blog,but usually don't leave any positive words of encouragement in the comments section.Please leave an encouraging word or two here.Please don't be shy.Your encouraging words do help in keeping me going,alongside any prayers that say on my behalf.I can go it alone in this terrible SSA struggle.Please do both of these things for me.I would appreciate that.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual,including the morning's Holy Bible study class and hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I hurriedly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a couple of things planned.
I first had to see a gastrointestinal doctor for a problem that I have had while trying to swallow food.I headed over to there after my work on my PC was done.
The meeting with the doctor went well and he prepared me for tests to check me out.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some money and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed over to a gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still on my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be as I go from day to day or from minute/moment to minute/moment.It is never ending and at times,I never know whether I am coming or going.I also have schizophrenic and that really makes my struggle with BPD even more difficult.Aside from the emotional ups and downs,I also have to put with hallucinatory sounds and other things that other people,other than I,can't hear,such as voices,footsteps and other things.Sometimes,they want me to do the opposite of what I want to do.By this,I mean that in my struggles with SSA,the voices try to get me to do things,such as touching myself inappropriately,which does proceed to manipulating my genitals to get them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,though at times,ejaculation does occur.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of letting God and Christ both take the lead and letting them help me in keeping me calm and serene.It shows that nobody can go it alone in any struggle as God has to be a part of the struggle as humans can do nothing alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was again awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.This time,it was overwhelming that the only way that I could get through this was with prayer and I prayed hard until the erection softened and I went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day as the temptations kept coming at me.I get tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have by either masturbating or by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I simply kept throwing every temptation on God and asked him in his son Christ Jesus' name to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations when they came at me.After praying,I always felt better as the temptations were reduced to nil each time.I kept it up all day so I wouldn't sin or do anything that would displease God in any way,shape or form.I kept it up and the good feelings would come.I am also still continuing to ask for prayers by those who follow and read my blog posts and also,for some positive and encouraging words in the comments section.Your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going.I see that quite a few people visit my blog,but leave no comments of encouragement in the comments section.I would appreciate an encouraging word or two.Please continue in prayers for me and also,leave an encouraging word or two.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have a Men's Network meeting that I will be attending.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned,but I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a couple of things on my agenda.
I first went to my Thursday Spirituality group and I went there with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up something that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed over to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I left his place and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I watched a little TV after I did a little more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day as I also got some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky recovery continues moving forward,I am still battling the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory on a daily basis.I never know how my moods will be from day to day or from minute/moment to minute/moment.It is a very difficult thing to deal with on a daily basis.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also makes my SSA struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It again shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is great.I am not suffering alone and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do in helping me get through this BPD/Schizophrenia struggle.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation as it was a very overwhelming one.I tossed and turned,but the erection continued to throb even more.I felt that I had to use the bathroom,so I got up and went to the bathroom and as I was walking there,the erection started to soften and was fully soft when I arrived at the bathroom.After using it,I went back to bed and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I still kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ as the temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have kept coming at me constantly.Each and every day,I am at war with this terrible SSA and the temptations to act out on the unnatural desires that I have connected with SSA can get very strong and very overwhelming.The temptations get stronger with each resistance that I make when they come at me.I keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ so I don't fall or fail.I ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist all temptations as they come.I try not to give into any temptation and it is a very difficult thing to fight and resist.But with God and Christ at the wheel,at least I am not alone in this battle against those terrible unnatural desires that I have and I feel overjoyed that they are there with me in my fight.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog.I also ask that you leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section of my blog as both your prayers and your positive encouraging words help keep me going in this fight.I see that many people visit,but don't leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Please leave a positive word of encouragement for me.I also ask that y'all keep up your prayers for me as I am going through this.Thanks in advance for all your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do as well.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with a gastro type doctor at the local hospital.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went over to my sister's house to pick up my laundry.After doing that,I headed over top the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped off my laundry and what I bought at the Super Wal-Mart.I headed over to my case worker's office after that.
The short meeting with my case worker went good.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still on my daily struggle against the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I have to say that having BPD is a very difficult thing to have and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it can be very burdensome.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult as I also have to put up with the hallucinatory symptoms of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of throwing the struggle on God and asking him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the complex emotional roller coaster ride that I am always on.They both help in sustaining me and also shows that I am not alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.The urge to grab my genitals and masturbate was really overwhelming.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I tossed and I turned,but the erection continued to throb.I started to sit up and I got out of bed to walk a little and as I walked,the erection softened and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day and I kept up in prayer to God to ask for strength to fight and resist these temptations.I am learning that the more that I resist every temptation,the more stronger and overwhelming they become with each resistance.I am learning that temptations will always keep coming back no matter how many times you fight and resist them.But I am always fighting every temptation one day at a time and if I get through one day without giving into them,there is the next day and the battle to fight and resist resumes.I continued to keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ throughout the day as the temptations kept coming back and each and every time that I did and asked for strength to fight and resist,I felt better as the temptations were reduced to nil.I am also again asking for prayers from everyone who follows and reads my blog regularly.I also ask that you leave and encouraging word or two in the comments section.I see that there are people visiting my blog,but don't leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section while doing so.Please leave me an encouraging word or two as both your prayers and encouraging words keep me going in my battle against the unnatural desires connected with SSA.I would really appreciate your prayers and your encouraging words in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group that I must attend and lunch at a local kitchen after that.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things on my agenda today.I first went over to my sister's house to do my laundry.It took a few hours and after it was finished,I bagged it all and headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the post office to mail back a book that was sent to my mom.After doing that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling daily with BPD,it's symptoms and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.While that may be so,I still continue to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I never have to worry about any of this getting out of control with God and his son Christ Jesus at the wheel leading the way.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation this morning.I really had the urge to grab my genitals and masturbate the erection away,but chose to fight this urge and resist giving into it.While fighting the urge,I noticed that I had to go to the bathroom and got up to walk to the bathroom and use it.While on the way there,the erection softened and was fully soft when I reached the bathroom and after using it,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ as the temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have were really coming at me from both sides.I really had to fight these urges as each time that I resist any urges,the urges come back stronger every time and I have to keep up in prayer to God whenever the urges come as they did come throughout the day.I am always at war with these unnatural desires that I have connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.But again,I am not fighting this war alone as I have God and his son Jesus Christ leading the way and fighting alongside me.Still,I am again asking for prayers and words of encouragement from everyone who follows and reads my blog regularly.Please continue in prayers for me as I am continuing to go through this struggle and the complex emotional pattern that I am still working to overcome as a result of my mother's passing in September.Please also leave words of encouragement in the comments section as they help in keeping me going in this fight,and make me more determined to overcome SSA.I see that many people visit,but never leave any comments in the form of words of encouragement or anything positive for me.Please don't be shy when checking out my blog.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me and again,I also ask that you continue in prayers for me as I continue to fight this SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do to help me in this fight.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my case worker.Aside from that,I have made no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only one thing on my agenda for today.I went to my usual Monday building and improving self esteem group,which went as well as expected.After the group was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling daily with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day or from minute/moment to minute/moment.It is a constant daily struggle and at times,it can get really difficult.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle.The power that both God and Christ give goes beyond what any human therapy can provide.Thanks to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again awakened by yet another throbbing erection and the temptation for me to masturbate it away was really strong.I really fought hard to resist this temptation and it was a very overwhelming one at that.I sat up and since I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,I got up and as I headed for the bathroom,the erection softened and was fully soft when I arrived there and went back to sleep when I was finished.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.The temptations were really strong and overwhelming.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I threw every temptation that I had on them and I felt better as the temptations were reduced to nil.I simply prayed for strength each and every time and I felt better as a result.I am also still asking that everyone who follows and reads my blog to continue praying for me as I am going through all of this and please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as your prayers and words of encouragement help keep me going.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
Tomorrow,I am hoping to go to my sister's house to get my laundry done.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to pick up my medications.After paying the co-pay on these,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home sweats and after a light lunch,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home and I stayed there for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling daily with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or my emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I never know if I will be up or if I will be down.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.It also makes my SSA struggles even more difficult as well.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about my struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of going to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ in prayer and asking them to help get me through any difficulties in this particular struggle.They do both help in sustaining me and it also shows that I am not alone in this struggle.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge as it was really strong.I sat up for a while and laid back down when my genitals were fully soft and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have throughout the day and I really had to pray hard about the temptation to both God and his son Jesus Christ.I simply threw the temptations on God and asked him too give me strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me get through the temptations and I felt better as a result as the temptations were reduced to nil.I am really trying to please my Heavenly Father as I don't want to sin against him in any way by giving into any temptations that come around.Even if I did give into any temptation,I simply ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling and after that,I feel good knowing and truly believing that I have been and am forgiven for my sins.I am also still asking for prayers by everyone who regularly follows and reads my blog.Please continue saying prayers for me as I am going through this complex emotional time.I really need all the prayers from all of you.I also ask that you all also leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your prayers and encouraging comments help keep me going.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and words of encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do to help.
Tomorrow,I have my usual building and improving self esteem group that I must attend.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much to do today.I simply went to the public library to print something out of my e-mail and after that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues onward,I am still on my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day or by the minute/moment.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggle with BPD even more difficult.It also doesn't make my SSA struggles any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is a difficult struggle in itself,but both God and Christ help in sustaining me and it also shows that I don't have to suffer or struggle alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist the temptation to masturbate the erection away.I sat up for a while and I didn't lay back down until the erection softened and when it did,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation and yes,it was the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping before ejaculation occurs.After I stopped doing this,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into this particular temptation.This particular activity,the manipulation of my genitals,has really become a problem for me.Though I don't do it every day like I used to,I still give into this particular temptation whenever I do get the craving to do it and I would really love to stop doing this.Most of the time,there is lusting involved with this and again,I would love to stop doing this to myself.I know that this is an unclean and impure habit and again,it is a habit that I want to stop.Again,when I do give into this particular habit via temptation,I always ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and I do feel better as a result of believing that I am truly forgiven whenever I give into any temptation and ask to be forgiven.I am asking for any advice on how I can stop doing this sort of thing.I am really desperate here and I want to stop giving into this particular temptation whenever it comes around.If anyone out there can give me anything that has helped them,please share.Thanks.I am open to try anything to give up practicing this dirty,unclean and impure habit.Please share any advice as to what has worked for you and why it worked.I would appreciate any advice given on how I can stop giving into this temptation to engage in this habit of manipulating my genitals for the purposes of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping before the occurrence of ejaculation.Those who follow and read my blog regularly,please help me.Thanks in advance for anything offered.
Tomorrow morning,it will be church as usual.As for the rest of the day,I just might stay home and take it easy and possibly,watch a movie on DVD.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after having a light lunch,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to a local supermarket to turn in a bag load of cans and bottles to get some much needed money.After that was done,I went to the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of herbal cold medicines and after paying for those,I headed over to see a friend and see how they were doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still having to deal and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods and/or emotions very by the day,or at times,by the minute or moment.I simply never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPS struggle even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with sounds and noises,such as voices or footsteps and seeing nobody else around walking,alongside the ups and downs of BPD.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I simply sat up for a while and continued sitting up until the erection softened and when it did fully soften,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping.After I did that,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that particular temptation as I really felt bad for giving into it.Throughout the day,I was again tempted to act out on the unnatural desires that I have and the temptations were very overwhelming.I didn't want to sin,so I kept up in prayer to God all day to help get me through the temptations.I simply kept throwing every temptation on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist the temptations and after that,I felt much better as the temptations were reduced to nil.I kept it up all through the day and each time,I felt better.I am also still continuing to ask for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog regularly and also,some encouraging words in the comments section of my blog.Please pray for me and leave something encouraging in my blog's comments section.Your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and more determined to continue to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do as their powers combined are more powerful than anything known to man.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone out there.
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move onward.I had a very good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only one thing planned for the day.
The only thing that I had on my agenda was dinner at my sister's house.It was originally going to be at my former brother in-law's place,but things changed as of yesterday afternoon.I headed over to my sister's house when the time came to go there and was there for much of the afternoon.
The dinner and the family time were both wonderful.After some wonderful family time,I headed straight home as there was nowhere else to go as a result of the holiday as everyplace around town was closed.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.Overall,a very good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues onward,I am still on my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next or from one minute/moment to the next.It is a never ending struggle and at times,I wished that I didn't have to go through this.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.It also doesn't make my struggles with SSA any easier.I still attend my therapy sessions.I still take my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.With them,I am not alone in my struggle with BPD/Schizophrenia and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggle,I again was tempted to masturbate twice in the wee early morning hours when throbbing erections at two separate intervals in the wee early morning hours woke me up out of a deep sleep.The first one wasn't too bad as the erection softened as I turned to the opposite side.With the second one,it was much more stronger than the first one and I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,so I got up and used it and as I walked to the bathroom,the erection softened and after I was finished,my genitals were back to full softness and I simply went back to sleep after I was finished.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was tempted throughout the rest of the evening as the temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have kept coming at me left and right.I was in a battle with them for the rest of the evening,but I chose to throw all of the temptations on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I chose to let them both strengthen me to fight and resist all temptations that came at me.I threw them all on both God and Christ and the temptations were reduced to nil.For much of the day when I was at my sister's,I wasn't tempted at all as I was around others,but when I was alone at home for the rest of the day,the temptations really came at me and they were strong.But again,I simply chose to throw all temptations on God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and I felt better each time as the temptations were reduced to nil.I am again asking for those who follow and read my blog posts to continue praying for me as I am still trying to get through this very difficult emotional period and also,please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that people do visit and view my blog,but don't leave any comments in the comments section.Please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as your prayers and your encouraging comments keep me going in this fight against the unnatural desires associated with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery moves forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things that I needed to do.I first went to the local UPS store to send out something that I had to send back as it was defective merchandise.After doing that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading in as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my ongoing struggle against the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.My moods and/or emotions can be up and good one day or one minute/moment and/or down the next day or minute/moment.I never how they will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggle with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of talking daily with God about this particular struggle and asking them for help when it really gets difficult.They are there to help and all I need to do is ask them.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to masturbate twice in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened at a couple of times by throbbing erections.The first one didn't last very long,but the second one was really strong.I really had to use all of my own strength to fight and resist the later temptation as it was a really overwhelming one.I actually got up out of bed as I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and as I walked to the bathroom,the erection softened and after I was finished in the bathroom,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and fell back asleep.Though I escaped this double whammy,as it was the first double whammy that I have had in a long time,I did give into a later temptation when I,in a state of tiredness after I had gotten up in the mid morning,manipulated my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping.When I did this,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into this temptation and I did feel better afterwards.Throughout the day,I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever any sort of temptation rears it's ugly head at me and even tries to envelope me.I threw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and prayed to ask for strength to fight and resist these temptations that were coming at me from left and right and every time I prayed,I felt better.Though it has been two months since my mom's passing,I am still in a complex state of emotions as I am working to move on and still continue to learn to adjust to the loss of my mom as I am still feeling her absence and missing her at the same time.I know that I will always miss her and I know that in time,I will get used to her not being around,but I am still working on getting over it and also,trying to overcome this complex state of emotions that I am in as a result of her death.Day after day,I am going to continue in prayer and I am going to continue asking God for strength to fight and resist all sorts of temptations and urges whenever they rear their ugly heads.I am also going to start asking God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me overcome the complex state of emotions that I am in as a result of my mom passing away.I am also asking for prayers and words of encouragement by everyone who follows and reads my blog posts.People do visit and view my blog,but never leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.All of your prayers and encouraging words of support help keep me going in this fight and to also continue fighting to overcome this terrible SSA.Again,please say prayers for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your words of encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,with it being the holiday,I will be at my sister's house for dinner and I will be hanging out there for a while to simply talk and just enjoy the company.It was originally going to be at my former brother in-law's,but plans changed as of today.This will also be the first Thanksgiving without my mom being around.After it is over,I am simply going to go home and relax for a while and maybe,watch a movie or two that I will pop into the DVD player.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the upcoming holiday ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the public library to type up a short business letter to a company,in which that I will be returning something that I bought from them asking for a refund and after that was done,I headed to the local Super Wal-Mart to do some much needed grocery shopping and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I unpacked all the groceries and put them in their proper places.After that was done,I relaxed for a while and watched some TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still on my daily battle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.It is a very tough thing to deal with on a daily basis.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with hearing voices and sounds that others,aside from me,can't hear.As a result of this struggle with this double whammy that I have,I,at times,don't know if I am coming or going.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.It is simply a matter of talking to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ about it and them helping me in sustaining me.They simply help me deal with this struggle effectively and I feel a tad better as a result.It also shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is very good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all their help in getting me through this struggle,which gets even more difficult by the day.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep in the wee early morning hours.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge.I sat up and since I felt that I needed to use the bathroom,I walked there and as I walked there,the erection softened and when I was finished in the bathroom,the erection was now fully soft and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after I got up a few hours later when I grabbed my genitals and manipulated them for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,but I did ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that temptation to commit that act of uncleanness and impurity.The root cause of this fall was that I was still tired from sleeping the night before and I was still trying to fully wake up from that.Throughout the day,I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever the temptations came around.They really do bombard me throughout the day.I kept up praying whenever the temptations came to try to envelope me.When they did,I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after each prayer,I felt better as the temptations were reduced to nil each time.While I am keeping up in prayer myself,I am also asking that those who follow and rad my blog posts also keep up in prayer for me and also,please do leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is because both your prayers and positive words of encouragement help keep me going in this struggle with this terrible SSA and the unnatural sexual desires that go with it.Please keep up prayers and words of encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all their help and support in getting me though this struggle and giving me strength to fight and resist all temptations that come around.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda today.I first went to my usual building and improving self esteem group,which went as well as expected.Before the group started,I had to help upbuild a fellow believer,who claimed that they were fed up with the world and the bad things that were happening.I advised that fellow Christian believer to talk about this with God in prayer and share with God exactly how you feel about this and really talk to him about it.They told me that that they would.After the group,I decided to head out to Best Buy to have a look around and see what they had new.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up something.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD continues.My moods and/or emotions are always going through up and down motions by the day,or at times,by the minute or moment.I never how my moods and/r emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am still relying more on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle or endure.Whenever the symptoms of my diagnosis try to get the better of me or try to overwhelm me,I simply talk about this particular struggle with both God and his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came about again when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.This was also a very overwhelming temptation at that.I really had to use everything I had to fight and resist this temptation as it was really enveloping me.I tossed and turned and even sat up as I tried to keep my hands off of my genitals in the process.Within a few minutes,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I kept up in prayer throughout the day because the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have really kept coming at me.I was tempted to grab my genitals and manipulate them for the purpose of getting them erect or at the point of orgasm and stopping,although ejaculation does happen at times.I really had to pray and pray real hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and ask for strength to fight and resist the urges to give into the temptations.The temptation to act out on the unnatural sexual desires connected to SSA can be very overwhelming at times and at times,they can get really strong.They get stronger with every resistance and I keep up in prayer and keep asking for strength to fight and resist every temptation that comes.After praying,I feel better as the temptation is reduced to nil and I do feel stronger.I also ask that those who follow and read my blog posts keep up in prayers for me and also,to keep posting encouraging words in the comments section of my blog as both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight.Thanks in advance to everyone for your prayers and encouraging words.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have plans to do some grocery shopping.Aside from that,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few things that I needed and after paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and hung it up,alongside my other dress clothes.After that,I had a light lunch and I did my personal PC work.
I also decided to pay a visit to a friend of mine who lives locally within the city.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home and stayed there for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.For me,going to church every Sunday makes the day eventful.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward,I am still on a daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or my emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.It also doesn't make my struggles with SSA any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.When this happens,I talk with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ about this particular struggle and I feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me.It is great that I can talk about this particular struggle with the both of them and they help in ways that go beyond what any human therapy and medication can do.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I sat up for a while and didn't lay back down until the erection had softened.I went back to sleep when it did.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to act out on the unnatural desires that I have in quite a few ways and every time when the temptations hit,I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I always felt better as the temptations were reduced to nil every time that I prayed.I kept it up all day and I talked about them repeatedly until I felt that the temptation was gone thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus.I kept it up all through the day and God did his work.I am still asking that everyone who follows and reads my blog also pray for me and please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I see that people do visit,but they never leave a comment or two on my blog to encourage me.Please leave an encouraging word or two as they,alongside your prayers,help keep me going in this fight to overcome these unnatural desires that I have that are connected to this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Please say a prayer for me everyone and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I also will continue praying myself.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual building and improving self esteem group.As for teh rest of the day,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road recovery continues moving on.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
Today,I finally managed to get to that Salvation Army thrift store in another area of the county where I live.I simply went in to look around and I did buy a few things.After that,I went to a nearby McDonalds to buy something to drink.After getting that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those items,I headed over to my sister's house to pick something up.Last but not least,I went to the drug store to pick up a couple of prescriptions.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.Though I haven't brought it up lately,throughout the last few days,including today,I managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving on,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.My moods and/or emotions can be up one day/one minute/moment or down the next day/one minute/moment.I never how my emotional make-up will be from day to day or from minute/moment to minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am also having to put with sounds and things that only I can hear and nobody else does.I am still continuing to attend my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle tries to weigh me down.I simply talk about my BPD struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me.It is simply a matter of turning the struggle over to him and his son and letting them take the lead and helping me through this struggle when it might be getting too difficult.It is wonderful that I can rely on them whenever that happens.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.This urge to grab my genitals and masturbate was really overwhelming.I tossed and I turned,but the erection only got even harder.I sat up for a while and I didn't lay back down until the erection had softened and I did lay back down when my genitals were fully soft.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping.When that happened,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him.I kept busy throughout the day as I went about.I tried to keep my mind off anything sinful and lustful as I continued onward through the day.Whenever any temptation came around,I prayed to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to ask for strength to fight and resist the temptations when they came around.I kept it up and I even tried to keep my mind of positive spiritual things rather than on negative sinful things.The fight against the unnatural desires of SSA is always a very difficult one,but it can be won and overcome.I just have to keep praying and asking God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me strength to continue fighting and resisting all temptations that come around.I have to keep doing that all the day through and constantly whenever any temptations try to envelope me.I am also again asking for prayers by all who follow and read my blog posts and also,I still ask that you leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA.Please pray for me and leave a very positive and encouraging word or two.I would really appreciate that.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and Christ for everything that they do as well.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual,including the Holy Bible study class ninety minutes before the worship service.Aside from that,I have made no other plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda today.I was hoping to get out to a Salvation Army thrift store in another area of the county that I live in,but complications at home made me change plans.I simply went to see how a friend of mine was doing instead and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move onward,I am still dealing with the daily struggles of having BPD,it's symptoms,and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day or from minute to minute.It is bad enough that I struggle with BPD,but I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with hearing things and sounds that nobody else hears,such as voices,hearing my name being called,various sounds such as footsteps and other sounds,including the fear that I am being followed by someone as a result of hearing the footsteps and hearing my name being called.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying and leaning on both God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.I also feel a tad better as a result of talking about this particular struggle with God and Christ.It shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use everything in my power to fight and resist this particular temptation as having an erection is one of my weaknesses when it comes to resisting the temptation to act out by masturbation.At times,it is accompanied by lusting after other people when it happens.I had to get up and use the bathroom when this happened,so I got up and used the bathroom and as I walked to the bathroom,the erection softened and was fully soft when I went back to bed and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to act out by lusting and by masturbation,including the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,although at times,an ejaculation does happen when I give into that particular temptation.Each and every time that the temptations came around.I threw it on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations as I didn't want to sin against God and his perfect law.I wanted to follow God's law as his law is perfect and has no flaws.After every prayer,I felt better as the temptation was reduced to nil.I also felt like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders.I kept up praying throughout the day as I really didn't want to fall into temptation.I do get tempted throughout the day and it is wonderful that I can pray to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through every temptation that comes around and that is great.It also shows that God and Christ will never let me be tempted beyond what I can handle.Though I have been doing this,I am also still asking for everyone who follows and rads my blog to pray for me as well as I really do need them.I also ask for everyone to leave and encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as I see that there are people who visit,but nobody leaves any encouraging words for me.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.Your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this struggle and even more determined in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to everyone for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do for me to help me get through anything related to this terrible SSA.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda today.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning Spirituality group and as usual,I was looking forward to this with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after eating that,I had some time to kill and decided to hang out and socialize at the group center for a while before heading to my general doctor's office for a follow-up.
The follow-up visit went well and I got a prescription.After that was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still having to battle the symptoms of BPD every day and the emotional roller coaster ride that I am constantly on as a result of my struggles with BPD.I never know how my moods or emotions will be from one day to the next or from one minute to the next.At times,I wish that I don't have to go through this,but I know that I have to put up with the struggle as best as I can.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.It also makes my struggles with SSA even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am still also taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I usually feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me.Human therapy is essential,but both God and Christ help in ways that go beyond human therapy.It is wonderful that I am not in this struggle alone.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I sat up and I stayed sitting up until the erection softened and I went back to sleep after that.Though I did escape this episode,I was still being tempted to act out on the unnatural desires that I have by ways of lusting and the urge to manipulate my genitals at the same time.This is a very common problem for me as I get the urge to lust and touch myself inappropriately at the same time.The urge to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near or fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping is a huge problem and yes,there is usually lusting involved with it at the same time.I get these urges throughout the day and whenever I do,I throw the temptations on God and pray to him in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel better each time I do that.Whenever I throw the temptations on God in prayer and I talk about them,the temptations are reduced to nil and I move on.But they do sometimes come back later in the day and when that happens,I simply throw it on God again and with his and his son's help in strengthening me,which is what I pray for whenever I am tempted,I feel better and relieved and it is a much better feeling than acting out on the unnatural desires that I have.This fulfillment is spiritual fulfillment and the feeling that this gives me is a whole lot better than the feeling that I get from lusting and genital manipulation.God is there to get us through all sorts of temptations.He is also there to give us strength to help us fight and resist the urges to indulge in any type of sinful sexual behavior.All we need to do is ask for that strength in prayer and he will give it.I am also still asking for prayers by those who repeatedly follow my blog and read the posts that I post here daily and also,I would appreciate some words of encouragement left in the comments section.Your prayers and your positive words of encouragement help keep me going.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do to help me and all of us who struggle with any kind of problem.They give power beyond what is normal and they are there for us when we ask them to get involved.Thanks again to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all that they provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to go forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only one thing on my agenda today.I had to pay a visit with my case manager over at her office.It was for an early afternoon time and I went there to discuss some things with her.
The meeting went as well as could be expected.After the meeting was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed over to see how another friend of mine was doing.I also spent a few minutes with him and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still struggling with the mental illness issues connected with BPD,it's symptoms,and the emotional roller coaster ride also connected with it.My moods change by the day or by the minute in the same day.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply and continually talk about my BPD/Schizophrenia combination struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a little bit better as they both help in sustaining me.I am not saying that the human therapy that I get isn't good,but both God and his son Jesus Christ collectively give power beyond what any human therapy can give.They help me feel a little bit more at ease with this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I simply got up and I felt that I had to use the bathroom and as I walked to that room,the erection softened and when I got there,it was now fully softened and after using the bathroom,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have.I was tempted throughout the day to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near the point of orgasm and stopping and also to watch porn online,as well as to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sexual activity with them.Regarding that latter third temptation,I simply and willfully choose to stay home whenever that temptation comes around.Regarding the other two,I threw them on God and asked him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist those particular temptations.I did it throughout the day as I was being tempted to do these things throughout the day.I threw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever they came around and every time that I did that,the temptation was reduced to nil.Since relying on both God and his son Christ Jesus a lot more,I always feel better as a result of trusting in them and asking them for strength to help me fight and resist all temptations that come around.It is wonderful that they can and do help when asked.I am also still asking to be prayed for by everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts and also to please leave and encouraging word or two as both your prayers and your encouragement help keep me going in the fight.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday spirituality group that I must attend.I also have a doctor's appointment in the afternoon as well.Aside from these things,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to see my therapist at the local hospital.This was my first meeting with the new therapist as they have been changing therapists from time to time over at the hospital.
The session went well.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still faced with the daily struggle of having BPD.My emotions and/or moods change by the day,or at times,by the minute.I can up and feeling good one day or minute or down and not so good the next day or minute.I never know how my moods or emotions will be.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw the struggle on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I feel a tad better as they both help in sustaining me.I never have to worry about this struggle getting too overwhelming as both God and his son Jesus Christ are there to help me get through any difficult stuff related to having both BPD?Schizophrenia comes around.I simply talk about the struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and when it is in their hands,I feel a little bit better and it shows that I am not in this struggle alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I had to really use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation.I sat up for a while and since I felt that I had to use the bathroom,I got up to use it and as I walked to the bathroom,the erection softened and after using it,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day and I had to keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I simply threw every temptation on God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I kept talking about the temptation to God and kept asking for strength to fight and resist the temptations and every time I finished praying,I felt better.I am also still requesting prayers from everyone who follows and reads my blog regularly and also for some encouraging comments by all of you in the comments section as well.Your prayers and encouraging words help keep me fighting this battle with SSA and make me more determined to overcome it.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and encouraging words.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do as well.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my case worker to discuss some things.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a building and improving self esteem group that I had to attend and the group meeting went as well as expected.After the meeting was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby supermarket to turn in some cans and bottles that had accumulated in the trunk and back seat of my car.After turning them in and getting the money,I headed over to a nearby gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in an ongoing struggle with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with it.I never how my moods or my emotions will be from one to the next,or at times,from one minute to the next.It is an unpredictable thing.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still relying on both God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about the struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This shows that I am not alone in my struggle and that does make me a feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this temptation to masturbate the erection away.I sat up for a while and didn't lay back down and go back to sleep until the erection softened.Though I escaped this episode,I later gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or near orgasm and stopping.After I had done that,I asked God to forgive me for my sins and I did feel better after that.Since I am now alone in the house,I am now really getting tempted to act out by masturbation or by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,but at times,it does proceed to masturbation.I really have to use all of my strength to fight and resist these temptations whenever they come around.I really have to learn to really go in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to ask him to give me the strength to resist these temptations whenever they occur.I really feel overwhelmed at times by these temptations.I don't want to lust after others nor do I want to act out on these unnatural desires that I have in any way,shape or form.I want to do what is right,but the unnatural desires that I have want me to do the opposite.I really have to buckle down and really rely on God and his son Jesus Christ to really help get me through these awful temptations.I want to be pure in thought and deed,but the unnatural desires that I have want me to be the opposite of that.At times,when I am being overwhelmed,I don't know whether I am coming or going.I again ask for those who follow my blog and read the posts that I post on it to please continue praying for me as I am going through all of this.I also ask for encouraging words in the comments section by all of you.Your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going.I will also continue in prayer to God and his son Jesus Christ constantly.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they provide.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my therapist and I am hoping that the session goes well.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But I am hoping that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ