Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day,although I couldn't really do too much as a result of the big snow storm that we had yesterday.
Since I couldn't go anywhere as a result of my car being out of commission as a result of me having a compact spare on the rear passenger side,I simply went out to do some snow shoveling and it took me quite a while to get the shoveling done.After that was done,I went back into the house to watch a little TV and relax for a while.
I also had to make a phone call with someone that I worship with in church to give me a ride to church tomorrow.He said that he will pick me up tomorrow.I am glad that I now have a ride to go to church tomorrow.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty fair day.I did manage to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is never easy dealing and struggling with this type of psychiatric disability and the ups and downs of this ride can be very tiresome.While having emotional ups and downs are bad enough,I also have to deal with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It is great that God and his son Christ Jesus help out and give power beyond what any human therapy can give.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I tossed to the opposite side that was laying down in bed and though it took a while,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted as usual to act out by fantasies,lusting and to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,though at times,a climax does happen when I do that.I kept up in prayer to God all day as these terrible temptations came at me from all sides and I asked God in the name of Christ Jesus for strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations and I always felt better after praying.I am simply trying to draw closer to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ because I really want to heal from these unwanted temptations and also,from these unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.I kept it up and I felt better every time.It shows me that God and his son Christ Jesus are there to help me whenever I need it and that they are there for me despite what many cynics and non-believers say.It also strengthens my faith and helps keep me going in this fight.While that is great,I am still asking that all of you who regularly follow my blog and read the posts to continue praying for me as I am going through all of this complex emotional stuff.I also ask that you please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging comments both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to continue on my healing journey from SSA.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,now that I have my ride to church,I am planning on attending church and also,the morning's Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,as a result of the car problem,I just might stay home and take it easy.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I was actually hoping to get myself a replacement tire for my car's passenger side rear wheel,but today,the weather was snowy and COLD!I simply kept my travels close to home and drove much more carefully as a result of the roads really being covered with snow and you never know if there is a patch of ice underneath the snow covered roads.I simply went to a few local stores to pick up things that I needed and after I was done at those stores,I went straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I went back outside to shovel the sidewalk for the mail carrier and also leading up to the back porch.I also shoveled the back porch and after I was done shoveling,I went back inside the house and stayed home for the rest of the day.
I simply relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty fair day as I couldn't do everything that I wanted to get done accomplished as a result of the snow storm.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.If having to struggle with BPD isn't bad enough,I also have to struggle with the schizophrenic tendencies that I also have,as that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more of God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever I need to talk about it and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone here in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again visited by temptation to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for a while and didn't go back to sleep until the erection softened.It took a while,but the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after getting up.I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or near the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,there was lusting involved.I stopped myself before it went too far and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for the fall and after praying,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I kept up in prayer all day as the temptation to act out by fantasies,lusting and masturbating to those types of things were really coming at me.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges as they kept coming at me from all sides.After that fall this morning,I didn't want to fall again.I kept up praying all through the day and I never ceased praying.I always felt better after praying as I truly believed that God and Christ were there to help me when I asked them for help.I am always tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with SSA and they can get ugly and very overwhelming.The urges can be very strong at times.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but when that type of temptation comes around,I simply and willfully choose to stay home as I know what my needs are in that regard and those needs,which are emotional in nature,are not sexual and acting out sexually is never going to give me what I truly want and,most importantly,need.I also have to continue keeping in mind that we men are biologically hard-wired to be compatible with a female and that we men's bodies are not to be used for the sinful purpose of indulging in any sinful sexual activity,including,but not limited to,the sinful sexual activity between two members of the same gender.God,when he created us humans,never intended for two members of the same gender to indulge in any type of sexual activity with each other and as the Holy Bible says in it's own words,that this type of thing is forbidden by God.I have to continually keep these things in mind.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to continue praying for me as I am going through all of these things.Please continue to keep up in prayer for me and also,don't be shy by just visiting my blog,but leave an encouraging comment or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging comments help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.I am not saying that my neediness of having my emotional needs met are terrible.I am saying that the unnatural desires that I have that are connected with SSA are terrible.It is just that my blog does get visitors,but nobody ever leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Please share an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section and also,please continue to keep up in prayer for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a really up and down day today.
Today,I woke in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did most of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
My day started out very good,but went downhill later on.I first went to my usual spirituality group and that went well.I was hoping to leave and head for a local kitchen to have lunch,but that is when the day went downhill.My tire on the rear passenger side went flat and I had to seek another way home.I called my sister and she advised me to call my eldest nephew,but he wouldn't answer after I tried calling him six times.I tried my brother in-law,who called me back on my cell phone and he said that he had to head for work within an hour of talking with me.My other nephew was already working and my sister was at a local beauty salon and wouldn't be done for a while.I went to a nearby 7-Eleven to buy something to eat for lunch while waiting at the group site for anyone to help me.Fortunately,my niece called me and picked me up to take me home.I was grateful that she did that.
On the way home,I stopped at a friend's place of business to drop off some money that I owed him and I also picked up the turntable that I want to use with my stereo system at the same time.My niece dropped me off at home after that and I awaited a phone call from my niece's boyfriend as he was the only one who could help me.The only thing that I needed was to put the spare wheel on the car and to simply drive it home,which happened and I am glad to have the car home.
As a result of all that happened today,I had to fix a light dinner to eat as I really didn't have enough time to cook anything.I simply heated up a can of soup that I bought on the way home and had that for dinner.Overall,a really up and down day.I still managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.It is a very complicated thing that I am dealing with as far as having a psychiatric disability goes.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult and complicated.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more of God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle,which is really difficult in itself as it is,and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation this morning by masturbating and there was lusting involved in it as well.I really don't know why I have fallen for the second time this week.The only good thing is that the falls weren't consecutive as my last fall was on Tuesday.When this happened,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling and begged him for mercy as I prayed to God and his son Christ Jesus for forgiveness.I did feel better as a result of that as I believed that I am truly forgiven for my sins.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and asked him for strength to fight and resist all of these temptations that were coming at me from all sides.I didn't want to fall short again today and I kept it up all day in prayer.I am still a work in progress as far as trying to stay strong to continue fighting and resisting and asking God for that strength to continue fighting and resisting all of these terrible temptations.I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog regularly and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Please leave something encouraging in the comments section as both your prayers and encouraging words help keep me going in this struggle against SSA and make me even more determined to continue my journey in overcoming this terrible SSA.I will also keep up in prayers myself and again,I ask that all of you who follow and read my blog to continue in prayer for me and leave something encouraging for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some much needed money.After that,I headed over to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.At times,this emotional roller coaster ride can be pretty stressful and tiresome.The ups and downs of this ride can be very hard to deal with and at times,I feel rather tired of going through it.One day or minute/moment,I can be up and feeling good,bout the next day or minute/moment,I can be down and feeling not so good.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ when I feel that this struggle is getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is terrific.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me again when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,but it didn't last long.I turned the opposite way that I was laying down in bed and the erection softened after a while and I went right back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted to act out by fantasizing,lusting after other men and to also manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all day as these terrible temptations came at me.It is difficult struggling with SSA,but the temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have that are connected with SSA makes the struggle even more difficult.I kept up praying and asking God for strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations and I always felt better after doing so.I always believe and have faith that God is there to help and he will do it in the name of his son Jesus Christ and that he does give strength to those who ask for it.I kept it up all day as I do get tempted to act out throughout the day every day.I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who follow my blog and reads the posts.I am asking that you all continue in prayer for me.I also ask that you leave a word of encouragement for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Please continue in prayer for me and please don't be shy when visiting,but leave an encouraging comment or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,lunch at a local kitchen and I am planning on visiting a friend to see how he is doing.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PVC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had only a few things on my agenda for today.After doing all of my personal morning stuff at home,I went over to my grand nieces' and grand nephew's school to pick them up and take them home.I also babysat them for a little over an hour and after that,I headed over to the local Sears to make a payment on my credit card bill and after that was done,I headed over to the post office to mail out an important payment and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day or by the minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation in the early morning hours by masturbating,and yes,there was lusting involved with this.I really felt miserable after this and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into that temptation and I did feel better after that.I was tempted throughout the day to act out by fantasies and lusting and to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I was tempted to indulge in genital manipulation alongside being tempted to fantasize and lust and I kept up in prayer to God all day in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist all of these temptations that kept coming at me.I kept it up and I always felt batter after praying and asking for strength to help me fight and resist all of these temptations.I always felt better after that and knew that God and his son Christ Jesus were there helping me.I am also again asking for prayers and for words of encouragement by everyone who follows my blog.Please continue in prayer for me and also,I would really appreciate an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to go on as usual.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and i got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to drop off a job application at the city school district building and I headed back home to do some snow shoveling on the sidewalk leading to the mailbox and to the back porch and after that was done,I relaxed for a while.
I also had a scheduled meeting with the pastor of my church.I wanted to discuss with him about starting to have relationships with the other men in the congregation as well as how I can talk to them about my struggles with SSA.I understand that it is a tricky thing to talk about with other men,especially if they really don't know anything about this particular struggle and what leads anyone to have struggles of this nature.
The short meeting went great and after it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw a little money and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to go on as usual,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It's bad enough that I have to put up with the emotional ups and downs of BPD,but what makes the struggle worse is that I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that means putting up with hallucinatory stuff that only I can hear and nobody else can.It's difficult enduring with the double whammy that I have as far as having a psychiatric disability goes.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone as far as this struggle goes and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up and didn't lay back down until the erection had softened.When it did,though it took a while for the erection to soften,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to manipulate my genitals for the purposes of getting them near/fully erect and/or near the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,there was a little bit of lusting involved.I stopped myself and I immediately asked God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in even more fantasy styled stuff and I kept up in prayer all day as they came around.I kept up asking God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me and I did feel better.I will have to keep on remembering to keep going to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these terrible temptations come at me from all sides.I can't let these unnatural desires that I have own me.I have to show these unnatural desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.Please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this and also pray that I start having some healthy,authentic and real Christian friendships with other men because I really want to heal and overcome this terrible SSA.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your prayers and encouragement help keep me going in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and make me even more determined to overcome SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Big Lots for a bottle of windshield washer fluid and after paying for that,I headed over to a local Chinese restaurant for a little take home lunch.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit.I had my lunch and after I was finished,I did my personal PC work.After that,I relaxed for a while and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is very difficult having this type of thing as my emotions very from day to day or from minute/moment to minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that my BPD struggles even more difficult.It also doesn't make my struggles with SSA any easier,either.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and the power that both God and his son Christ gives goes beyond what any human therapy,including prescribed medication,can give.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I simply chose to sit up and attempt to get out of bed and while I was doing this,the erection softened and when it was fully soft,I simply went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting with men and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I prayed to God,and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges and I felt better after praying.I kept it up as the urges kept coming at me from all sides and I felt better after praying.I felt stronger and I also felt God and his son Christ Jesus were both there for me giving me this strength and I simply moved on by doing something else.Though I have been doing that,I am also again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts to continue in prayer for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I ask this because both your prayers and your positive encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight,gives me even more strength and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.My blog also gets plenty of visitors,but the visitors usually don't leave an encouraging word or two for me.Don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.It can be a helpful verse or account from the Holy Bible or simply telling me to continue in my journey to overcome SSA in many ways.I would really love it if anyone who visits would do that.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continuous prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they give and provide.
Tomorrow,I will be turning in another job application and I have an appointment to meet with the pastor of my church to discuss some stuff.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and was hoping to go to the monthly Men's Network meeting,but the roads were really covered up with snow and I really had a hard time trying to control my car while driving,though I was going as carefully slow as I could,but couldn't keep it straight.As a result of this,I headed straight home and when I got there,I e-mailed the group leader explaining why I couldn't make it as a result of the weather and the roads and I am hoping that he understands.
I simply did my personal PC work and I relaxed for a while.
In the early afternoon,I headed over to my niece's house to babysit her kids for a few hours.The kids were well behaved and all and after my niece came home,I headed over to a local pizzeria to but a small personal pizza for dinner as it was a little too late for me to cook anything.After getting that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I at my personal pizza and relaxed for the rest of the evening.Overall, a pretty fair day,though I did accomplish reading some recommended Holy Bible chapters.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in this difficult struggle against the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It is bad enough that my moods and/or emotions vary by the day or by the minute/moment,but I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I talk to God about this in his son Christ Jesus' name and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this struggle and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I tossed and turned until the erection softened and when it did,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after getting up by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or near the point of orgasm and stopping and there was lusting involved as well.I stopped myself and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and after the prayer,I felt better as I believed that I was forgiven.I had to keep up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ as temptation kept coming at me left and right.The struggle with SSA is a very difficult one indeed and temptation can come at anyone who struggles with SSA when least expected.I get tempted constantly to act out on the unnatural desires that I have and I have to keep fighting them and resisting to act out on them constantly.I kept throwing every temptation on God and asked him for strength to fight and resist all these temptations in the name of his son Christ Jesus.I always felt better when I did so and I am now going to try and make it a habit to keep throwing every temptation on God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and keep asking him for the strength to help me fight and resist all of these temptations.I am also again asking that all of you who continually follow and read my blog posts to continue praying for me and also,don't be shy when visiting and please share an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that both prayers and encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.It is just that my blog gets plenty of visitors and/or possibly curious types,but I usually never get any encouraging words.Please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section when visiting and also,please keep up in prayer for me as I really need all the prayers that I can get from those who follow and read my blog.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,it will be church as usual in the morning,including the Holy Bible study class an hour and a half before the worship service.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work,got dressed and before proceeding with the rest of the day,I had a light lunch.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money that I needed.After doing that,I headed over to a local gas station to get some gas and after that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to check up on a friend to see how he was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the money away in a safe place and I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle against the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD and even my SSA struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I must confess that I again gave into temptation for the second consecutive time this week when I masturbated to sexual images of men early this morning.I really felt miserable after this fall and though I did feel that way,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and I also pleaded for his mercy because I really felt so unworthy of him after this particular consecutive fall.I did feel better after that,but I was still tempted again throughout the rest of the day.Whenever the temptations came around and they were really aggressive,I asked God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to give me strength to continue fighting and resisting these terrible temptations.I wish that at times,I never had to struggle with this terriblel thing because it is very difficult to struggle with,and it can try to wear out anyone who is trying to stay sexually sober and trying to please God amidst the struggle.The only thing that I refuse to do is give Satan and his minions what they want,which is to syurrender to these unnaturak desires that I have and indulge in all the sinful sexual activity that the so called "Gay" lifestyle offers.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity,but I always willfully choose to stay home or if I go out,I try to seek out positive associations that I know won't lead to any sort of sinful sexual encounters.As usual,I am again asking that those who continually follow and read my blog to continue praying for me.I am in desperate need of prayer as I am going through a lot of difficult stuff right now that are very emotionally complex.I also ask that you please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your prayers and encouraging comments help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance for all of your prayers and positive encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual monthly Men's Network meeting tomorrow and I am hoping that it goes great.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I headed over to my usual Spirituality group.
The group meeting was wonderful as I did get a lot out of it.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after I was done with that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him When I got home,I relaxed and did my personal PC work.After that,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Christ Jesus whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning by masturbating.I was also lusting as well alongside that.I immediately asked God to forgive in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I did feel better.I also continued in prayer to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus all through the day as temptation wouldn't leave me alone.I kept throwing every temptation on God and asking him for strength in Christ Jesus' name and I felt better.I am glad that God and Christ Jesus are both understanding and loving and that God freely forgives no matter how many times that I fall.I am again asking that everyone who continually follows and reads my blog to continue in prayer for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I ask because both your prayers and your encouraging comments both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome SSA.It is just that most people visit,but usually don't leave an encouraging comment or two in the comments.Please don't be shy.Please leave an encouraging comment or two in the comments section and also,please continue in prayer for me as well.Your prayers and your encouraging words are very much appreciated.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I got a couple of phone calls today from both my locally living sister and my father.They both wished me a Happy Birthday and I Thanked them.I also got quite a few birthday wishes from many of my friends on Facebook and that was wonderful.
I had a meeting with my case worker here at the house and after that was over,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up a few things that I needed and after paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I got ready for my dinner engagement as my sister and her boyfriend invited me out to dinner as a birthday surprise for me.
The dinner was wonderful.I ate so much that I was really full.After the dinner was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player.
Since I ate out tonight,it gave me a break from cooking something.Overall,a very good and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they both help in sustaining me.I never have anything to worry about or fear when it comes this constant emotional roller coaster ride connected with having BPD or the hallucinatory effects connected with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have.I do feel a tad better when I know that God and Christ are both leading the way.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for a while and didn't go back to sleep until the erection softened.When it did,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,there was lusting and fantasizing of other men involved with this as well.I stopped myself and asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into the temptation to commit that unclean and impure act that I did and I felt better.For the rest of the day,I was only tempted again only once and I threw that temptation on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist that temptation and I felt better after praying for that strength.For much of the day,since I wasn't home,but having dinner out of the house as a result of my birthday,I wasn't really tempted anymore to act out on the unnatural desires that I have as a result of SSA and the celebrations took my mind off of my struggles and that was great.I am again that everyone who follows my blog to continue praying for me and to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your positive encouragement help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards.As for the rest of the day,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did my personal PC work.I had a few things planned for today and I wanted to get them done.
I first went to my appointment with the nurse practitioner at the local hospital.After the session with her,I headed over to a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed to a local supermarket to pick up one more things that I needed.After paying for that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions are always on a constant up and down scale and at times,it can get pretty nerve racking.While having BPD is bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus whenever this particular struggle seems to get way too unbearable for me to handle.Whenever the symptoms try to get the better of me,I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this struggle and that is pretty good to know.God and his son Christ Jesus collectively can help get me through anything.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came again when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.Fortunately,it didn't last very long.I simply turned to my left in bed and the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into temptation later on in the morning by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men while still in bed and trying to make myself wake up.After that happened,I did ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and I felt better.I kept up in prayer to God all day because the temptations to act out by fantasizing and manipulating my genitals while fantasizing really came at me.I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help give me the strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations.I felt stronger after praying and I kept up in it whenever these temptations came at me and tried to envelope me.I had to show that I owned my desires and not the opposite way.I also had to try and show that my sexuality doesn't own me,but I own it.I kept up in prayer all day and asked God in Christ Jesus' name for strength to continue to fight and resist all of these temptations.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read it to continue praying for me as well.I also ask that you leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section for me as well.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight against SSA and make me even more determined to overcome it.Please continue praying for me and again,leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and proceeded to do my personal PC work,but there were some problems on Yahoo.When I was signed into my Yahoo e-mail account,the e-mails were having a hard time loading.I kept pushing retry,but that also didn't work.I signed out and tried the other web browsers that I have downloaded,but unfortunately,the problem persisted.I decided to sign out of Yahoo for a while and waited for about half an hour to return to doing my work,which worked.I finished my work and I proceeded with the rest of the day as I had a couple of things planned.
I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things that I needed for the rest of the week.After paying for those things,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day and I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is never an easy thing to deal and struggle with and at times,it can get pretty difficult and exhausting.My moods and/or emotions very by the day and sometimes,by the minute/moment within the same day.I am still attending my therapy sessions,which tomorrow will be when I meet with the nurse practitioner over at the local hospital.I am also still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more of the power of God and his son Christ Jesus collectively whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that is great that I am not struggling alone.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for the power that they provide to help get me through all the negative stuff that my disability can bring and try to bring me down.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to indulge in masturbation when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use all the strength that I had to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I started to sit up in bed and proceeded to get out and that is when the erection started to soften.I got up and started to walk and the erection got even softer.After using the bathroom,I headed back to bed and to sleep and when I got back to bed,the erection had fully died down.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in sexual fantasies and lusting to sexual images of men.Whenever these images try to envelope me,I always have the urge to grab my genitals and manipulate them for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,but at times,ejaculation does occur in the midst of it.When these urges came around at me,I immediately turned to God in prayer and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist these temptations.I kept up in prayer to him and his son Christ Jesus until the urges died down and my mind was clear.At times,I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I willfully choose to stay home when that particular temptation comes around and I also ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight this particular urge and to get the immoral thoughts out of my mind.I am also again asking that all of you who continually follow and read my blog to keep up in prayer for me because I am still in desperate need of prayer as these temptations have been coming at me from all sides.Please keep up in prayer for me.I also ask that you leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section as both your encouraging words and prayers help keep me going.Please don;t be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me alongside your prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for also being there for me and for all that they give and provide.
Tomorrow,as stated,I have an appointment with the nurse practitioner and I am hoping that it all goes well.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning,though a little later than I wanted to,and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in suit and headed over to the church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful as there were quite a few people worshiping today.After some wonderful fellowship with the people,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit.I had a light lunch and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I still attend my therapy sessions,which I have this coming Tuesday when I have to see the nurse practitioner at the local hospital.I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not suffering alone and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came to me again in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I tried tossing and turning,but to no avail.I sat up and didn't touch myself as I did have the overwhelming urge to do that as well.This time,I really had to throw this temptation on God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist this urge.At times,and this wee early morning hour today was no exception,sexual images and lustful thoughts of other men cloud my mind and I really had to ask God and his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge and I kept up in prayer until the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lustful thoughts of other men and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or near the point of orgasm and stopping.Each and every time that urge came,I prayed to God and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist all the urges.It is difficult struggling with SSA and it is never an easy thing,but the best thing is that God and his son Christ Jesus are always there to help out when they are asked.It is great that they are because without them,I would be falling and giving into the urges everyday and every night.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows and reads my blog and to also please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Why?Because both your prayers and your positive encouragement help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome SSA.Please leave an encouraging comment or two and also,please continue in prayers for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and i got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things planned.I first dropped something off at my niece's house and after that was done,I headed to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day and I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and its accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods do vary from day to day,or,from minute/moment to minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I still attend my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I always feel a tad better whenever I talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ,and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this fight and struggle and that is great.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for helping me get through this particular struggle.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,but it didn't last very long.I started sitting up as I felt the need to use the bathroom and the erection started to soften.After finishing in the bathroom,the erection fully softened and I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation after getting up later while sitting in a chair by manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.Admittedly,there was some lusting involved.I stopped myself and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for doing this as it was wrong,unclean and impure for me to do.I must admit that the SSA struggle is no picnic.For me,temptations come when least expected and I am always fighting these temptations or when I do give into them,I do ask God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for doing so and I do feel better afterwards.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and asked for strength to help me fight and resist all urges that came around.I also admit that at times,I do get tempted to seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I willfully choose to stay home when that temptation comes around.I kept up in prayer to God all day and felt better afterwards.I am also again asking that everyone who follows and reads my blog posts to continue praying for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging comments both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA.It is just that my blog gets visitors,but nobody even leaves an encouraging comments or two.Please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Please don't be shy when visiting this blog.Please leave an encouraging comment or two in the comments section.It would really make my day if you do so.Thanks in advance to all of your for your prayers and encouraging words.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all that they do and provide.
With the exception of church tomorrow,I really have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
The first thing that I did was that I went to the post office to mail out an important bill payment.After that was done,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those items,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.I didn't go out again for the rest of the day as the weather was still "COLD!",with wind-chills in the -10 range.I have heard that it is supposed to warm up next week,but that can change before it is known.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still continuing my therapy and continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I have nothing to fear as they are leading the way.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I fell early this morning by masturbating.I really felt miserable after this fall and really felt like there was a weight crushing me down.After the fall,I immediately asked God to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I did feel better as I really believed that I was forgiven.I still get tempted throughout the day everyday as temptations come at me left and right and today was no exception.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in sinful sexual behavior,but I did keep up in prayer as I was tempted.I kept asking god in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to help me fight and resist all of the temptations that came at me and I did feel better after praying for that.I am also still going to continue to ask for prayers by everyone out there who follows and reads my blog and what I post on here.I am also again asking for encouraging words by all of you in the comments sections as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans,with the exception of church on Sunday.But I do hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did 3/4 of my personal PC work.After that,I headed out to my Thursday morning spirituality group.
The group meeting was wonderful as I did get a lot out of it.After the meeting,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch.After eating lunch,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to visit with a friend of mine and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed for the drug store to pick up my psychiatric medication.After paying the co=pay on this,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped off my prescription and my copy of the Holy Bible and I headed back out again.I headed over to the local Salvation Army thrift store and bought a few things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I shoveled the walk leading to the mailbox for the mailman and I also shoveled the sidewalk in front of the house.I also shoveled the walk on the way to the porch as we did get a lot of snow overnight and the weather lately has been really "COLD!"I also shoveled the back porch and after it was done,I went into the house to warm up and relax for a while.I also watched a little TV while doing so.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It's bad enough that I am going through that,but on top of having BPD,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.It never gets any easier for me.I am still attending my therapy sessions and I am still taking my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with both God and his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.It is great that God and his son Christ Jesus are there for me whenever I am having any difficulties trying to stay sane and clam under the pressure of this double whammy of mental illness that I have.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,though fortunately,it didn't last long.As I started to sit up in bed,the erection softened and when it was fully soft,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in lustful and sinful behavior connected with this terrible SSA.I was tempted throughout the day to fantasize and imagine myself in something sexual with other men.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these terrible temptations came around and I asked for strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations and I always felt better every time I did.I kept it up all day and it was wonderful that God and Christ heard me and helped me whenever I needed it.Though I have been doing that,I am also asking that all my followers and readers of my blog to continue praying for me and also to leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA.Please continue praying for me and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide as they help everyone in ways beyond any human therapy can do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had only a few things planned for today.I first went to the local Big Lots to pick up a couple of things and after paying for those,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a few more things.After paying for those items,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to visit with a friend to see how he was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Christ Jesus whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I have nothing to fear nor anything to worry about in regards to this particular struggle with mental illness and how terrible it can be from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate hot me twice at two separate intervals in the wee early morning hours when two throbbing erections woke me up out of a deep sleep at both those intervals.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist these two urges.I tossed and I turned on both these occurrences and they died down.I went back to sleep at both these times when they did soften.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was tempted to indulge in lustful fantasies and to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or near the posit of orgasm and stopping.The sexual images really tried to envelope me,but I knew that I had to fight and resist these urges.I prayed hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these terrible urges that came about and I really prayed as hard as I could as I didn't want to give Satan, the devil what he wanted and I did feel better after praying for that.I kept it up all day whenever these terrible temptations came around.Though I escaped all of that by prayer,I am still asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to continue in prayer for me and to also leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA.Please continue in prayers for me and also,leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouraging words.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my Thursday Spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had only a couple of things planned for today.I first went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It is really difficult to deal with day to day,or at times,minute/moment to minute/moment.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that with God and his son Christ Jesus leading the way,I have nothing to worry about or fear.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,another throbbing morning erection woke me up out of a deep sleep and my temptations to masturbate it away were really strong.I sensed that I had t use the bathroom and I got up and headed for there.As I was heading for there,the erection started to soften and after I was finished,the erection was fully soft and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted to act out throughout the day.I was tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping and/or proceeding to masturbate.Yes,when I do that,sexual images of men and other sexual thoughts concerning men cloud my mind and I really had to pray real hard to get rid of those lustful and immoral thoughts.I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ repeatedly to give me the strength to fight and resist these temptations and also,to help me clear my mind of the lustful and immoral thoughts.I always felt better after praying and I kept it up throughout the day as the thoughts and the temptations kept coming at me.I again ask for prayers by those who follow my blog and read my posts.Please continue praying for me as I am going through all of this stuff as I am working to get back on an even keel emotionally.I also ask for an encouraging word or two in the comments section of my blog as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going.I will also continue in prayer to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus and again,please continue to pray for me and again,please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you followers for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work,but since it was cold and snowy today,I didn't go out too much today.I chose to stay home for much of the day and decided to simply relax and pop a DVD in the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have to put up with schizophrenic tendencies,which makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I still continue to attend my therapy sessions and I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply put this in God's hands and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through and they both help in sustaining me.It is wonderful that I don't have to suffer alone and that both God and Christ are there.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they provide as they give power beyond what any human therapy can offer.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am going to be very blunt and honest here in regards to where I am at with this.I gave into temptation this morning when I,while sitting in a chair shortly after getting up,manipulated my genitals for the purpose of getting them erect or to the point of orgasm and stopping,only to proceed to masturbation and after I did that,I felt really miserable afterwards.After washing my hands,I asked God in the name of his son Christ Jesus to forgive me for falling short and I also begged for God to give me his undeserved mercy for this fall as I have been falling quite a bit lately.I felt better after the prayer as I truly believed that God has forgiven me.I have to continue to try and keep up in prayer to God whenever any type of temptation starts to try and envelope me.I have to try and keep up and asking God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist all these terrible temptations.I can't just keep falling all the time whenever these temptations come around.I have to try and keep working and staying in touch with both God and his son Christ Jesus whenever these terrible temptations come around.I am again asking those who continually follow my blog and read the posts that I write here to please continue in keeping up prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in this journey to overcome this terrible SSA.I may have fallen today,but I am still going to continue in my journey and I refuse to surrender to these unnatural desires that I have.I willfully refuse to give Satan what he wants as he wants me to give up and surrender to these unnatural desires that I have,but again,I willfully refuse to give him what he wants.Again,please keep up in prayers for me and also encouraging words in the comments section.I will also keep up in prayer to God and his son Christ Jesus as well.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for all that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ