Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have too much to do today.After my personal PC work was done,I decided to fill out a couple of job applications that I recently acquired and after I was done filling them out,I decided to go out and pick up a couple of things in a couple of stores.
I first went to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something that I needed and after that,I went to the drug store to pick up a prescription that I just had refilled.After paying the co-pay on that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult as I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle is seemingly getting way too difficult for me to handle.Whenever I am feeling even a little overwhelmed by this particular struggle,I simply talk about it with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me and getting me through all the rough stuff.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and the erection started to soften as I did this.I sat up for a while and though the urge to masturbate the erection away was overwhelming,I worked hard to resist this overwhelming urge and though it took a while for my genitals to soften,I didn't lay back down until they were.I went back to sleep once the erection had died down.Though I escaped this episode,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals alongside these things.I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father throughout the day and I asked him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,for strength to fight and resist these urges as they were pretty overwhelming.I kept it up and kept asking for that strength and after I was finished,I felt much better and also,much stronger.The temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have can get strong as they days pass by and I just have to keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these urges come around.I am also again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to also continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,I also ask that you please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need all the prayers and positive encouragement that I can get as I am really going through a lot of things.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for in the the comments section whenever you visit as my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and to continue in my healing journey to help from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work,but really didn't have much to do today as a result of it raining all through the day.I just stayed home and took it easy for the day.
I managed to get some work done that I have been putting off for quite some time.I chose to do it today and was pleased to get it finished.After that,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating a light dinner,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.Aside from that,I am also plagued with schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I tell him everything.I feel a tad better once I have done that as they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel only a little bot more relieved.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I got out of bed to use the bathroom,as I had to use it,and when I was finished,my genitals had fully softened and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I did give into a later temptation while still in bed when I grabbed my genitals and manipulated my genitals to sexual images of men clouding up my mind.I actually managed to stop myself and I immediately asked God to forgive me for sinning against him by doing that and I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven.I was tempted throughout the rest of the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies to sexual images of other men and yes,the temptation to manipulate my genitals to these sexual images also happened as well.I had to keep up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father and asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist all of these temptations and I did feel better and much stronger after doing so.Though I have done that,I am again asking for all of you who follow my blog and also read the posts to continue praying for me as I am going through this very complex emotional time and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind,especially encouraging ones,are rare.Please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need some encouraging words right now to help keep me going in this struggle and to also continue motivating me to continue on my healing journey from everything connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have really nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and that went as well as expected.After that was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after having lunch,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a pair of sweatpants and relaxed for the rest of the day.I also finished my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Christ Jesus whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father and pray about it in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up for a while and started to get up and that made the erection soften and after walking a little bit,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation in the mid afternoon when sexual images of men crept up into my mind while I was lying down and I started to manipulate my genitals to these images and yes,there was lusting involved.I stopped myself before it went to far and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after that,I did feel better as I truly believed that my sins were forgiven and forgotten by my Heavenly Father.I was tempted throughout the day to act out by fantasies,lusting and also,to play with my genitals to these things.I prayed to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges to indulge in lustful fantasies to other men.I also asked that my Heavenly Father keep my mind clean from all of these perverse and negative images of men.While I have been doing that,I am again asking for prayers by all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue soldiering on in my journey to overcome SSA and also to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the drug store to pick up some prescriptions refills and after paying the co-pay on those,I delivered a few free newspapers to a few friends of mine.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put my prescriptions away and I relaxed while watching a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day today.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the BPD emotional roller coaster ride,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me again during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I sat up for a while and proceeded to walk to the bathroom and that is what made the erection soften.After I was finished in the bathroom,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind,but managed to stop myself before it went too far and immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him and I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that my sin was forgotten.I was still tempted throughout the day,but it wasn't so bad once I stayed busy.I simply went about the day doing what had to be done and it was wonderful to be out and about.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up praying for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen later on,I have really no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

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Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first called the bank to make a deposit from my line of credit to my checking account to remove a small bit of overdrawn funds from my checking account.After that,I headed out to do some important stuff that needed to be done.
I first went to the bank to withdraw a little bit of money and after that,I went to pick up a few applications for employment in the area and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things and after paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I registered all the money that I withdrew at the Where's George site.After that,I made a phone call to the job placement agency to let them know that I did pick up a few job applications and that I wanted to make an appointment to discuss these things.After that,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.Aside from BPD,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult and/or overwhelming for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ,talk about it and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last long.I had to use the bathroom really bad,so I headed for there and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.I kept busy again throughout the day as I was out of the house for much of the time.Being out in the community took my mind off of anything sexual and that was good.I didn't think of anything sexual and just keeping busy did it.It was great that I got through this day without anything negative,but there is tomorrow and so on.I am again asking that all of you please continue keeping up in prayer for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or tow for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your words of encouragement both help keep me going.Thanks in advanced to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed over to the church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.It was also a really big day today as it was Confirmation Sunday,as well as the first Sunday of Pentecost.I also did a Holy Bible reading today in front of the congregation.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.I also got positive accolades from everyone in the congregation for my Holy Bible reading.After some wonderful fellowship with the rest of my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into some casual clothes.I also did my personal PC work.After that was done,I got ready to leave the house again as I was invited out to someone else's place to spend the afternoon with.
I spent a few hours with that person and it was a very meaningful time where I really felt appreciated to be in his company.After that few hours with him,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a pack of bar soaps.After paying for then,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player.Since I had dinner at that other man's place,I simply took it easy and enjoyed what I was watching.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church every Sunday makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and my emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I let them take the lead.They also both help in sustaining me when they take the lead and get me through it all.I am never alone in this struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again hit with the temptation to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up in bed and proceeded to get out of it,which made the erection start to soften.I started to walk towards the bathroom as I had to use it and after finishing,my genitals were soft and I went back to bed and back to sleep.Throughout the day,I wasn't tempted by anything connected with SSA as I kept busy and tried to keep my mind occupied with other things,such as healthy and positive thinking and also,on things of a more spiritual note and thinking more on these things.It actually worked and I never thought about anything sexual as my mind was cleared and also,cleaned of all things that were sexual in nature.I simply kept my mind focused on these things for today and it helped.Though I did escape today,there is tomorrow and the day after that and so on.I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts to please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me a positive word of two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I continually ask these things because both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and they also make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and to continue to want to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and words of encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed over to the church to help out in some landscaping and general repairs on the property.After a few hours of doing some work,I headed for home.There are still some things that need to be done,but we decided to get that done another day.
On the way home,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and had a light lunch.After that,I relaxed and decided to pop a DVD in the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery to move forward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply put this particular struggle in the hands of my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.This just shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and I do feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and walk.This actually made the erection soften and I headed for the bathroom as I had to use it.When I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.I kept busy today bu doing the volunteer work at the church and having some terrific fellowship with the men who were helping alongside.It was great and it took my mind off of everything sexual and that was great.Even after I came home,I still didn't have anything sexual come into my mind as I kept my mind on other things and this helped to keep my mind clean and clear.Though I got through this day,there is still tomorrow and the day after that and so on.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up praying for me as I am going through this struggle with SSA and also,I would appreciate it that all of you please leave a positive word of encouragement for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors,but comments of any kind are rare.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my journey's to overcome and heal from this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have church as usual and I have been invited over to someone's place to hang out with them for a while.After that is all over,I just might take it easy for the rest of the day.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money and after that,I headed for a local supermarket to pick up a few things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply put this particular struggle in the hands of my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me and also,they help me in my endurance when it comes to coping with the symptoms of both these particular psychiatric disabilities.With God and Christ leading the way,it makes it a tad easier.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,though it didn't last long.I sat up in bed and proceeded to get out of bed and that is what made the erection start to soften.I didn't go back to sleep until the erection had completely died down as I wasn't about to give into that particular temptation.When my genitals were fully soft,I went right back to sleep.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men,but I chose to stay busy and try to keep my mind off of anything sexual,including the negative sexual images of men that try to take over my mind.Though it wasn't easy,I managed to stay busy by just doing what I had to do and also,to do whatever it would take to take my mind off of anything having to with the unnatural sexual practices that are connected with the so called "Homosexual/Gay" lifestyle.I always have to keep in mind that God never intended sexuality to be used and abused the way that the world around is using and abusing it.It is never easy to keep your mind on other things that are holy and productive,but with the help of both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ,it can be done.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep me in your prayers as I am going through this difficult emotional time and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as I really could use some encouraging words right now.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle against this terrible SSA and also,they motivate me to continue in my journey to overcome and heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of volunteering to help with landscaping at the church,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do after that gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.I had a few things on my agenda and I wanted to get them done.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group.I also met someone that I knew there who was hanging out there and we made plans to get together later.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,my friend and I headed over to the local kitchen to have lunch and after we were finished,I dropped him off at home and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I finished my personal PC work and I eagerly awaited the arrival of my caseworker who has now returned from her maternity leave.
After the meeting with my caseworker,which went pretty good,I called my friend and I headed over to his place to hang out and talk with him for a while.
After everything was over at my friends house,I headed straight home as I took my medication while I was there and I wanted to be home when it kicked in so I wouldn't drive home drowsy.
When I got home,I simply changed into some night clothes and finished the day with some recommended Holy Bible reading.Overall,a pretty good day.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one/minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also still continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to God and ask him in his son Christ Jesus' name to get me through all of the difficulties and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in my fight and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.It was also a throbbing erection at that.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed,which made the erection start to soften and I also got up and walked for a bit afterwards.After my genitals were fully softened,I went right back to bed and to sleep.I really wasn't tempted in any other way today as I kept busy with other things.I was out of the house for much of the day as I went to my group,lunch,had a good meeting with my caseworker and spent some time with a friend.I simply kept my mind on other positive things and the unnatural desires that I have didn't pose any problem today.Though this was so as far as today went,I am still asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep me in your prayers,as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Please keep me in your prayers and when you visit,don't be afraid nor shy to leave a positive word or two of encouragement.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and they also make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have too much to do today.Since the weather was windy,I stayed home much of the day and worked on catching up on things that needed to be done.I only went out to one place and that was to a local Salvation Army thrift store to check out their stock of hats and I really didn't find any one hat that interested me.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I simply began picking up where I left off when doing some necessary work that needed to get done.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I am always on an up and down ride when it comes to my emotions and/or moods.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,Temptation tried to get the better of me in the wee early morning hours when another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I started to get up out of bed and that is what made the erection start to soften and after I walked around for a while,I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I did give into a later temptation at two separate intervals of the day when I gave in to manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind.The first was when I was still in bed trying to get up when the alarm went off and the other time was when I had finally gotten up and the images of men started to cloud my mind again.It seems that these negative sexual images of men are starting to really try to overtake and envelope me in a lot of ways.I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him by giving into these temptations.I did feel better after that as I truly believed that I was truly forgiven and that my sins were forgotten by God and his son Jesus Christ.I tried throughout the day to keep my mind focused on other positive things to try and get anything having to do with sex off of my mind,though admittedly,it isn't an easy thing to do.I went out to do a little shopping and also,I worked around the house to clean up here and there.I did what I felt that I had to do to try and get sex off of my mind.I also kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I kept asking him for the strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations.Though I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this very difficult emotional time that I am going through.Please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this very difficult emotional times.I would also appreciate some very encouraging words in the comments section as well.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words to help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle because I really want to heal from this terrible SSA and everything connected with it.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual spirituality group and also,an appointment with my caseworker.As for the rest of the day,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I did try to get a few things done.
I first went to a local kitchen for lunch and after having lunch,I dropped off some free newspapers at a few people's places and after that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few important things and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that they are there to help me and that is great and also,makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,I am going to be very blunt and honest here in regards to this.I again fell early this morning by masturbating to images of men clouding my mind.This was the second consecutive fall that I had this week.I really felt miserable when this happened and really felt terrible afterwards.After getting up and washing my hands,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for falling and sinning against him.I also begged for God to show me his mercy as I was truly sorry for falling and sinning against him.After the prayer I felt better.I was tempted again throughout the day and I didn't want to fall again.I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ throughout the day to give me the strength to fight and resist all of these temptations.I didn't want to sin again against him.I kept it up and everything.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Please don't be shy and say a few encouraging words in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but rarely is a comment of any sorts left.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda today.
I first went to a local supermarket to pay my electric bill and after that,I headed over to the local hospital as I had an appointment with therapist today.
The session with my therapist went well and after that was over,I headed for home
On the way home,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD in the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation really early this morning when I masturbated an erection away.I really felt miserable and after washing my hands,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for weakening and falling into sin.I did feel better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that my sins are forgotten by God and Christ once forgiven.Throughout the rest of the day,I was being tempted to act out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have and at times,the temptations can get very overwhelming.I didn't want to fall again,so I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I kept asking God to give me the strength to fight and resist every temptation that came at me from all sides.It is a difficult life that we who struggle with SSA live and at times,the struggle can get pretty intense.Lately,it has been getting very intense with me as these terrible temptations to act out on these unnatural desires that I have have really been coming at me.I am really having a difficult time and it isn't pretty.I am really in desperate need for prayers.To those of you who repeatedly visit my blog and read my posts,please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I would really appreciate that.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and struggle.They also make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA that I struggle with and also,motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Big Lots to see if they had anything that I was looking for,which they didn't.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes.I did 4/5 of my personal PC work.After that,I headed back out to see the new Oz movie;Oz:The Great and Powerful,which I really enjoyed immensely as,IMHO,the film was better than I thought it was going to be.After the movie was over,I headed over to a local bargain outlet store to look around,but couldn't find anything that I was looking for.After that,I headed to a Super Wal-Mart in another area of the county that I lived.I went there to see of they had any footwear in my size,but I did buy a new pair that did fit.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got into the house quickly as I saw storm clouds in the air and I managed to make it home just in time as it did storm some.I relaxed and finished my personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday morning always makes the day eventful and also,seeing a wonderful movie today to boot.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,which didn't last very long.I had to get up and use the bathroom anyway when this happens,so I headed for the bathroom,did what I had to do and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to sleep after getting back in bed.For the rest of the day,I wasn't really tempted to indulge in any fantasies,lusting and genital manipulation to them as I kept busy through the rest of the day.I kept my mind occupied with things,such as going to the movies and doing a little bit of window and bought a pair of new walking shoes.I kept busy and the unwanted and the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA didn't hamper me today.While today was great,there is still tomorrow and the temptations can come back the next day.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who continue to follow my blog and read that posts.I am also asking for all of you to please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of seeing my therapist,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
Today,it was another rainy type of day.This time,I had to get out and do some necessary shopping that needed to get done.I was couped up in the house yesterday as a result of a rainstorm that we had.Today,it was only a minor rainfall,but I had to get out.
Today,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something that I needed and after that,I headed over to a local bargain outlet store to see if they had anything that I was looking for,which they didn't.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the ups and downs of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was awakened by yet another erection in the wee early morning hours and again,I was tempted to masturbate the erection away,though it didn't last very long.I had to get up and use the bathroom anyway,so I got out of bed and headed for the bathroom.After I was finished,the erection was fully softened and I went right back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men while I was still in bed trying to get back up,though still feeling tired.Fortunately for myself,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him by giving into this particular temptation.Throughout the rest of the day,I was constantly tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural desires that I have in many ways,shapes and forms.I get tempted to lust,fantasize and also,to manipulate my genitals to these things,especially when sexual images of men start clouding my mind whenever I am feeling tired or feeling lonely.I also still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I simply and willfully choose to stay home whenever that particular temptation comes around rather than go out and feed it as acting out,no matter what form it takes,will never give me what I truly need and/or want.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all through the day as these terrible temptations kept coming at me.I prayed and asked for strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations that kept coming at from all sides and after I was finished,I felt much stronger and truly knew and believed that God and Christ were there to strengthen me and get me through the worst.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up in praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I am really in desperate need of prayer as I am being attacked from all sides by these terrible temptations.I also again ask that all of you who follow my blog to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as I really need some encouraging words right now.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but rarely leave a comment of any kind.Please don't be shy when visiting and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I only ask these things because your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also motivate me to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.I don't want to feel this way anymore.I seek support and encouragement in my healing and when visitors don't post anything encouraging,I feel that I am all alone here and I don't want to feel that way.Please pray for me and also,please leave me an encouraging and supportive comment when you do visit my blog.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I am also planning to go see a movie at the local bargain movie theater in my hometown.As for the rest of the day,I just might sit down and take it easy.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work.
Today,I stayed home for much of the day as we had a rainy day.It was rainy all day and I just felt that it would be best to stay home and simply catch up on some much needed work that needed to be done around the house.I was just feeling bored and there really wasn't much to do,so I simply caught up on some much needed work that needed to be done.After the work was done,I relaxed and took it easy and I simply watched a DVD that I put into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It never gets easier day after day,or at times,minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.My moods and/or emotions vary and at times,it does get pretty tiresome,frustrating and draining.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seems to be getting way too difficult or overwhelming for me to handle.I simply bring this struggle to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ,put everything in their hands when it starts to get really tough and I have them take the lead and they both help in sustaining me.They show me,in their own way,that they are there leading the way and making sure that I stay level and clam.They also help quiet any noises and/or hallucinatory effects that are the symptoms of having schizophrenia and also,the ups and downs of BPD.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,though it didn't last long.I turned to my left side when it happened and though it was slow,the erection softened and I went back to sleep.Though I did escape this particular episode,I did give into a later temptation while still in bed when I manipulated my genitals to sexual images of men that were clouding my mind,but I did manage to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in even more fantasies and lusting after other men and ti manipulate my genitals to these images.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ throughout the day as these terrible temptations kept coming at me from all sides.It is a difficult fight that I have struggling with the terrible SSA,but I can't let the unnatural desires that I have dictate nor define who I am nor who I will be.I have to constantly let these desires that I have know that I own them and not let them own me.I am going to keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ each and every time I get tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have come in any way,shape of form.I am also again asking that all of you please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this really trying and difficult emotional time.Please continue in prayer for me as I am going through all of this.I also ask that all you leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Please don't be shy when visiting and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and that motivates me to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I headed out to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group.Before all of that,I had to met with a counselor to finish up my resume by updating it with my current phone number and to also sign some papers that I have to sign each and every month.
The group meeting went as well as expected.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed over to the local public works department to drop off an old microwave oven for proper recycling and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed.I also finished my personal PC work.After that,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I relaxed.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or sometimes,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about my BPD/Schizophrenia struggles with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I don't have anything to worry about nor fear when it comes to my mental health struggles and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to indulge in masturbation during the wee early morning hours when another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.The urge to masturbate the erection away was really overwhelming and I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this overwhelming urge.I got up out of bed and I walked to the bathroom as I had to go really bad.While walking there,the erection started to soften and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and also,back to sleep.Though I did escape this particular episode,I did give into two later temptations at two separate intervals,one in the morning after getting up for the day and later in the early afternoon.On both intervals,sexual images of men had clouded my mind and the temptations to lust after them and fantasize with them also came at me and I actually gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitalia to these images on both occasions,but I did manage to stop myself before going too far in both of these falls and on both occasions,I asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning and I prayed real hard as I did feel miserable after giving into these two terrible temptations.I prayed real hard and I felt better after both of these as I truly believed that God had heard me,forgave me and wiped the slate clean of my sins.This is a very difficult struggle as it gets even more difficult by the day.This week has been very emotionally trying for me as I had to go through a mildly painful procedure at the urology associates office within another area of the county where I live and the anxiety and fear of finding out if there is something wrong or not.Plus,sharing my medical problems with someone that I know who always keeps making obnoxious and immature sexual themed jokes rather than give me some support and encouragement that I am truly seeking whenever I share any problems that I have.The temptations have really been coming at me from all sides as of late and I really don't know whether I am coming or going or what I will do if they get worse.These temptations even include the all too common temptation of going out to seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but as I have stated time and time again,I simply and willfully choose to stay home whenever that particular temptation rears it ugly head rather than going out and feeding it,which will never give me what I want no way no how.I am again asking that all of you keep praying for me as I am going through this very difficult emotionally trying time and also,I would really appreciate some encouraging words in the comments section please.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments of any kind.Please don't be shy and leave some encouraging words for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue diligently in overcoming this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,despite some setbacks.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to my insurance agent's office to pay my car insurance for the month and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries that I bought away and I headed over to a friend's place to see how they were doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to fold all of my laundry up and put it away and it took me 20 minutes to do.After that,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,despite some setbacks,I am still in my daily struggle with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or on other days,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It does make me feel a little better knowing that God and Christ are leading the way and that is good.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when yet another erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and I walked to the bathroom as I had to use it.The erection had fully softened once I was finished in the bathroom.I went right back to sleep afterwards.Though I did escape this particular episode,I did give into a later temptation by manipulating my genitals to lustful and sexual images of men clouding my mind,but managed to stop myself before it went too far and immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him and I repeatedly begged for his mercy while praying.After that,I felt much better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that the slate was wiped clean.Throughout the rest of the day,I was tempted to indulge in Homosexual themed fantasies and lusting and to manipulate my genitals along to those fantasies and lusting.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ all day as they kept coming at me and I did feel much better and much stronger after doing so.The struggle with SSA is never an easy one at all.Temptations can come when least expected and when they do come,it is very difficult to resist them.Aside from indulging in lustful fantasies with sexual images of men,I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I simply,willfully and usually choose to stay home when that particular temptation comes around.If I am out when that particular temptation comes around,I try to change my frame of mind by going somewhere until the temptation dies down or I will head for home and try to think of wholesome and healthy thoughts to get my mind off of anything sexual with men.I am really going through a really difficult time in my life,as I had to have tests done on me to see what could be wrong with me,as to why I was going through the difficulties of the frequent bathroom going and the pain in my groin area.I am still feeling the fallout of all of these things and it will take me quite a while to get over.I am going to need all the prayers and encouragement that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts daily.Please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this really difficult emotional time trying to get over the stresses and anxieties of the procedure that I had to go through yesterday.Please keep praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both do help keep me going in this struggle against this terrible SSA and also,to motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.I know that I keep repeating this,but it is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind,especially encouraging ones,are rare.When visiting or just being curious,please leave me an encouraging word or two.I would really appreciate that.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen.As for the rest of the day,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did 4/5 of my personal PC work.I had a few things planned for today and I wanted to get them done.
I had only one really big thing on my agenda for today.I had an appointment with a urology associates office to get my groin area checked out to see what could be causing my problems in my frequent bathroom going throughout the day and also,the pains that I've been getting in my groin area.
The whole thing took almost a minute,and according to the doctor,everything checks out good,but he did say that my prostate gland is acting up and he advised me to continue taking the prescribed medication and I also got two antibiotic pills to take with dinner for two nights,including tonight.After the whole procedure was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished my personal PC work.I also went out to pick up something for dinner as I wasn't in the mood to cook anything and I was still feeling a little at edge after the procedure that I had today was done.
After eating my take-out dinner,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done today as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have to deal with schizophrenic tendencies at the same time and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel only a little bit better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me in the wee early morning hours when another erection woke me up out of deep sleep.I turned to the left side of my bed and the erections softened and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to sleep.Thought I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation a little later on when it was daylight when lustful and sexual images crept up into my mind while I was still in bed and not fully awake at that point and I manipulated my genitals to these images,but I managed to stop myself before going too far.When I finally got up out of bed,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for giving into these particular temptations and I really prayed hard to God for that forgiveness and after that,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that God has wiped the slate clean and forgotten my sins.Throughout the rest of the day,I really didn't have any more problems as the procedure that I had to endure later on in the day was on my mind for the rest of the day.I am still feeling a little at edge after the whole thing,but I am just glad that it is all over with.My mind wasn't on anything except the procedure and also,that sort of kept my mind clear of all things immoral.I am still going to feel a little irritation for the next few days while I urinate,but it will hopefully be gone within that few days.I am again asking that all of you continue in prayer for me.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going.They make me even more determined to continue in my goals to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of folding up my laundry,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and before I showered,I made a couple of phone calls to messages that were left on my voice-mail.After that,I went into the shower to clean myself.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much to do today.I went to a local gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed into another area of the county that I lived in to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I leave nothing out.They both help in sustaining me whenever I do that.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,when I was still in bed,I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals with lustful and sexual thoughts of men creeping up into my mind.Fortunately for me,I managed to stop myself from going further and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him with this latest fall.I kept up in prayer all day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ as I didn't want to fall again.I prayed all throughout the day to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I asked God for the strength to fight and resist all of the temptations that were coming at me from all sides and I felt much stronger as I truly and totally believed and had faith that God and Christ both heard me.I am also again asking for prayers by all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts to keep up in prayer for me as I am still going through an emotionally rough time.I also ask that all of you to please leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rare.Don't be shy and leave something encouraging for me.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in hoping to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment to get my groin area checked out to see what could be causing my frequent bathroom going throughout the day and the pain that I also get in that area.As for the rest of the day,I haven't made any other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ