Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to the local Sears to pay a bill and after that,I headed over to a local Salvation Army thrift store to look around.After that,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick ups much needed groceries and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and I went to my room upstairs to throw some garbage away that needed to be thrown away.It took me about two hours to get done,but I managed to get everything done and when I was finished,I relaxed and did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate from day to day,or at other times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father,throw it on hm as a burden,and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negatives affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with and they both help in sustaining me and also,they both help keep me on a much calmer and more level plain.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation by masturbating in the wee early morning hours.I had a throbbing erection and I grabbed a hold of my genitals and masturbated away.I really felt miserable after this particular fall and I immediately asked my heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning in the name of his son Jesus Christ.This fall was mostly emotional,though there was some lusting involved as well.I did feel much better after asking my Heavenly Father for forgiveness as I was truly sorry for sinning against him.I know and truly believe that I am forgiven and that my Heavenly Father has wiped the slate clean.For the rest of the day,I tried to keep busy as to not fall again like I did this morning.I was out for some of the day and I concentrated on the cleaning work in my upstairs bedroom.Nothing hindered me for the rest of the day as I went along.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me and also,to please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments.Your prayers and encouraging are not only very important to me,but also are desperately needed.They both help keep me going in this particular struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA,but also to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
It is time to catch up on the last two days.I missed posting an entry yesterday and I want to catch up.
Yesterday,I had an appointment with my therapist and that session went great.Before that,I went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and that meeting also went well.I also had lunch at a local kitchen after the group meeting was over.Later on in the afternoon,while I was home,I e-mailed my resume to somebody who is hiring in my area and I got an immediate phone call to have an interview set up today.I turned in for the night later on.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed up in a dress shirt,slacks and tie and eagerly awaited for the phone call to come.I waited for the call for most of the day and when it came,I met the interviewer at a local Tim Horton's and according to the interviewer,everything was great and that I will hear from them Monday morning at 9:00am.After it was over,I headed for the bank to withdraw some money that I needed and after I did that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of the dress clothes and into my casual clothes and headed out to give a little bit of money for something that I am paying on.After that,I got a half gallon of milk at a convenience store and got some gas at the gas pumps.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the milk and started to heat up something for dinner and while eating,I watched the evening news for a while and later on,after doing some more personal PC work,I paid a visit to a friend to see how he was doing.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply,as a burden,take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in prayer.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negatives of this struggle and they both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a calm and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another erection.I sat up for a while and proceeded to get out of bed and the erection started to soften.When it was fully softened,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men,but today,it wasn't as bad as I had too much on my mind.I had the job interview and that really was wonderful and I kept busy throughout the day with other things and that took my mind off of my SSA struggles.The only thing that I ask is for all of you to please keep up praying for me as I am still going through a difficult time and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments.Your prayers and your encouraging words are very valuable to me and they do help in keeping me going in this struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day yesterday and today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast.I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I got dressed up and I went to one of the places that I applied for a job to see when I might be called for an interview.After about a couple of minutes,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into casual clothes and I headed the bank to withdraw a little bit of money and I went back home to register the bill at Where's George and when that was done,I headed to a gas station to get some gas and after that,I turned in a little bit of bottles and cans that I had in the back seat of my car and when that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a pair of lounge pants and decided to do some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.When that happens,I talk to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I really lay this on him as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negatives of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not only sustaining me,but also help keep me on a calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate twice during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at two separate intervals during that time.On both occasions,I tossed and I turned as I didn't want to give into these temptations that come at me during the wee early morning hours.I didn't want to fall again like I did on Monday.I need to keep saying to myself that I own these unnatural sexual desires that I have and that they don't own me.On both these occasions,it worked.The erections both died down and I went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was tempted throughout the day to masturbate or "near masturbate."It wasn't just to sexual images of men.There was also an emotional thing to it as well,as some of the time,though not often,I masturbate to relieve me of any sexual tensions that I might have.I know that this isn't an outlet for a single guy like myself,but since I am so used to doing that,it seems to be a regular ritual.Nowadays,it doesn't happen every day like it did when I was younger.But it has become a habit,although I know way deep down that masturbation is a disgustingly dirty and unclean habit.Today,the temptation to masturbate was for mostly emotional reasons and not mostly due to sexual images of men clouding my mind,though that is a contributing factor most of the time alongside the emotional stuff.This time around,I had to really pray hard and ask my Heavenly Father to give me the strength fight and resist this particular urge today.I also need to learn more cleaner ways to relieve myself of my sexual tension as I do have quite a bot of it.I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to help me fight and resist the urge repeatedly as the temptation to do that really hounded me through the day.After finishing praying,I did feel much stronger and also,felt that my heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for and needed.While I did do that today,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayers and encouraging words from all of you who regularly visit my blog and read the posts.My blog does get many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular struggle.They also motivate continually to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouraging words.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and also,provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of my spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I firstly dropped off some free newspapers to a few people that I knew and after that,I headed over to a local supermarket to turn in a few bottles.After that,I headed over to see a friend to see how he was doing and to talk over some things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have to put up and endure the symptoms of Schizophrenia and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negative effects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not sustaining me,but also help keep me on a calmer and level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate at two separate intervals during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at both times.I tossed and I turned until the erection started to soften and I went right back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I gave into a later temptation after getting up that involved "near masturbation"(substitute for my typical "manipulate(ing)my genitals" phrase as I was trying to find a more mature way to avoid the common immature sexual slang phrase "playing with myself" in hopes that I try to avoid tempting anyone who reads what I post here on my blog)when sexual images of men clouded my mind as I was still trying to wake myself as I was still sleepy,but fortunately,I managed to stop myself and asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him and for the lust that I had that motivated the "near masturbation" that I fell in to.I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him by giving into that particular temptation.I felt better after I finished and I knew and believed that I was truly forgiven and that the slate was wiped clean.I was tempted throughout the day to continue to indulge in this sort of thing.The temptations were very powerful and overwhelming.I kept asking my heavenly Father for strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations that were coming at from all sides.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep me strong and to give me the needed strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations as I didn't want to fall into sin again.The SSA struggle is a very difficult struggle indeed.I am learning that each and every day.I am always in the need of help and support from anyone out there who also struggles with SSA.I am always in need of emotional support and emotional encouragement as I am alone in my hometown and there are hardly any support groups out there in my hometown that can help me out.This is why I am always asking that those of who follow my blog and read the posts to please keep up in prayer for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need all the emotional support and emotional encouragement that I can get.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.I need all the encouraging words that I can get.Your prayers and your encouraging are very valuable to me.They also both help keep me going in this particular struggle.They also make me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome SSA and also,they motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made nay plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day for today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
Today,it was a rainy day.We had non-stop rain throughout the day.I simply used the occasion to clean up around the house as it was raining.After that was done,I relaxed and took it easy for a while and I did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continue moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get through this struggle when it tries to get the better of me and they both help in sustaining me and also,keeping me on a more calmer and level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am going to be very blunt and honest here.I fell again this morning by masturbating to sexual images of men.I really felt miserable after I had fallen.I don't know what I am doing wrong here.I don't know why I keep falling here and there.After my fall,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for the fall and I really begged for his mercy as this was one of those continuous cycles of falls that have been happening as of late.After praying,I felt better and truly believed that I was forgiven.I also truly believed that the slate was wiped clean.I ask that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I also ask that you please leave me a comment or two in the comment section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.They both help keep me going and make me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,they motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks to also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I dressed up and headed for church for the morning's outdoor worship service and the brunch afterwards.
Both the service and the brunch were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,which included me helping out with the clean-up,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I did some reading and relaxed.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having to put up with the emotional ups and downs of BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of the schizophrenic tendencies that I have.I also have to endure hearing sounds and noises that only I can hear and nobody else can,such as voices calling out my name,footsteps and turning around to see that nobody is there other than me and other things of that nature.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply turn this particular struggle over to my Heavenly Father and I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help me endure and get me through all the negative effects of having this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not only sustaining me,but they also help keep me on a calm and level plain.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation yet again late last night when I manipulated my genitals to sexual images of men that clouded my mind and it led to ejaculation.I was really miserable after that happened and I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I begged for his mercy because I was really sorry for failing him yet again.I asked him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to forgive me for sinning and for giving into the temptation to lust and fantasize with other men.I begged for my Heavenly Father's mercy as I sinned again.I was truly sorry for what I had done.I didn't want to sin,but my sinful and imperfect nature took over me and I gave into the the lusts and temptations of the flesh.I prayed real hard to my Heavenly Father and I left nothing out.I prayed everything to him and I repeatedly asked for his forgiveness and for his mercy upon me.After I was finished praying,I did feel much better and I truly believed that I was forgiven for my sins.I also truly knew and believed that the slate was wiped clean.I am again asking that all of you to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I have been falling like crazy lately and I really need some prayerful support from all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts.I am also asking that none of you be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.They visit,but don't leave anything encouraging and/or upbuilding.Please leave me an encouraging word when you visit as I truly need some encouraging words and your prayers.They both help keep me going in this struggle and help strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Yes,encouraging words and prayers are both helpful and I really and desperately need them day after day.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and since I had no place to go today,I chose to stay home and catch up on some much cleaning up around the house and also,caught up on some reading afterwards.
Today was simply a quiet day where I chose to catch up on some much needed things to be done around the house.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle in prayer to my Heavenly Father and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through whenever this struggle is getting seemingly way too difficult for me to handle and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to indulge in masturbation when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to use the bathroom as I had to use it.As I headed for there,the erection started to soften and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted much throughout the day to indulge in same sex fantasies and lusting of other men as sexual images of men clouded my mind.I was also tempted to manipulate my genitals to these sexual images of men.I prayed to my Heavenly Father and asked him to give me the strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations.I asked him in the name of son Jesus Christ to give me this strength as I really needed it to fight and resist these terrible temptations.I did feel stronger after praying to my Heavenly Father and I also knew as well as truly believed that he heard me and gave me what I asked for.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in praying for me as I am going through this very difficult emotional time and also,I ask that none of you be shy and please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left by anyone.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging are very important to me.They both help keep me going in this particular struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I haven't really got anything planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things to get done.I first went to the local Salvation Army thrift shop to look around and I bought only a small paperback book and after paying for that,I looked around at a couple of garage sales in my hometown and after that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a can of cooking spray.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the can of cooking spray of cooking spray away and I relaxed and did a little reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I ask him to get me through the negatives and help me endure and they both help help in not only sustaining me,but also help keep me on a calm level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation late last night by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of me that were clouding my mind and I did ejaculate while doing this.I really felt miserable after this happened as I knew that I failed my Heavenly Father once again.I immediately went to him in prayer and asked him to forgive me sinning and I asked him this in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after I was finished praying,I felt better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven for my sins and that the slate was wiped clean.Throughout the day today,I was tempted again to indulge in same sex fantasies and lusting of other men.Yes,I was.But today,I had to be really tough on myself as I fought these temptations.I also kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to assist me by giving me the strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations.I asked for strength throughout the day and I knew that I was given the strength as I did feel much stronger after I finished praying.I am again asking that all of you keep me in your prayers as I am going through this very difficult emotional time.I need your prayers and your encouragement by placing some encouraging words in the comments section.Both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,they motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these terrible unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.Please leave me some encouraging words in the comments section as I truly and desperately need some words of encouragement right now and every day.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to my usual spirituality group and the group meeting was wonderful as usual.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after eating that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a bit and I left the house again as I had to drop off some plastic shopping bags at a recycling bin at a local supermarket and also,I turned in some bottles and cans that had accumulated in the back seat of my car and a couple of trash bags filled with bottles and cans that I picked up on the way home yesterday that someone threw out.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the money that I received at the Where's George site and finished my personal PC work.After that,since my niece and her kids were over doing some work outside the house,I simply relaxed and enjoyed a little TV with them.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply put this struggle in the hands of my Heavenly Father.I ask him in the mane of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negatives of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not only sustaining me,but also help keep me on a calm and level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and I headed for there.While heading there,my genitals started to soften and after I was finished,my genitals were now fully soft and I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation when sexual images of men clouded my mind after getting up and I manipulated my genitals while these were clouding my mind,but fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed hard and after I was finished,I felt better as I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven and that the slate was wiped clean by my Heavenly Father.I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men and I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father all day as these temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I prayed for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations and I did feel much stronger after praying as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.I am again asking that all of you please keep up in prayer for me as I am still going through a difficult emotional time at the moment.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words as they both help keep me going.They also help strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some much needed money that I had to withdraw and after that,I went and got some gas at a nearby gas station.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the money that I withdrew in a safe place.I then relaxed and did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.The up and down roller coaster ride of emotions that I am constantly on can get pretty monotonous,tiresome and emotionally draining,which can lead to emotional exhaustion.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I tell him everything,including how I am feeling at that moment.I also ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negatives of this particular struggle and they both help in sustaining me.They also help keep me on a calm and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up in bed and proceeded to get out of bed to walk around as I didn't want to masturbate the erection away.I only walked around a few minutes and when the erection softened,I went right back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in sexual fantasies and lusting of other men and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/full erection and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping to the fantasies and lusting.I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father all day as these terrible temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations as I didn't want to sin against him.I really want to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with the terrible SSA.I did feel better and also,much stronger as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for.While I have been keeping up in prayer,I am also asking for prayers by everyone who continue to follow my blog and read my posts regularly.I am always in need of prayers as I do struggle heavily with SSA.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word of two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.I need encouraging words to continue in this fight and struggle against this terrible SSA.Your prayers and your encouraging words can work many wonders as the more that I get,the more it motivates me to continue my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with heavily.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual spirituality group and I will be attending that and also,to have lunch at a local kitchen.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning,but didn't shower for a while because the job placement counselor came over to the house to help me with an online job application.After a while,he left and I showered.I had my usual quick breakfast after my shower and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did all of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
After completing the online application at home,I headed out to deliver some free newspapers and after that was done,I headed out to the local K-Mart to see if they had something that I was looking for,which they didn't.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and caught up on some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the accompanying emotional roller coaster ride that goes with the territory of having BPD.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father and I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negatives up and downs of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with and they both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a calm and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't long.As usual,I sensed that I had to go to the bathroom and I got up and headed for there and the erection started to soften.When I was finished,the erection was fully dead and I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted,though minimally,throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting with other men.I kept busy throughout the day to take my mind off of these things and I did feel a little bit better.I went out to do my usual routine and this kept my mind clear off of anything sexual.Still,I am going to need all of your prayers and your encouraging words to help keep me going.I am always in need of prayers and encouraging words to help me in my daily struggle against SSA.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,please don't be afraid to leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going and strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I didn't have too much to do today.I had very few things.I first went to a local Dollar Tree store to see of they had what I was looking for,which they didn't.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to see if they had what I was looking,which they did,but I couldn't buy it at this moment.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.I also caught up on some reading as well.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be on a day to day basis,or at other times,from a minute/moment to minute/moment basis within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to get me through and they both help in keeping me sustained and also,on a more calmer level plain.I am not alone in this particular struggle and makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to the bathroom as I had to use it.After I was finished,my genitals returned to their fully softened state and I went back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies of other men.Sexual images of men clouded my mind repeatedly and I was also tempted to manipulate my genitals alongside this,but this time,I went immediately to my Heavenly Father and asked him to give me strength to fight and resist these urges.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me this strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges and after praying,I felt much better and also,I felt much stronger as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.While I did and will continue to do this,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my daily posts to please continue praying for me as I am going through all of this.I would also appreciate an encouraging word or two by all of you in the comments section as well.I need both prayers and encouraging words by all of you.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please leave me an encouraging word in the comments section.Both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this particular struggle and only strength my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and to continue in healing journey to heal from these terrible unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.Today,there was a baptism and we also had Holy Communion.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a gallon of milk and after paying for that,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of things and after paying for those,I stopped at a couple of yard sales that were in area and looked around.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into a pair of lounge pants.I also did my personal PC work.When that was finished,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heaven;y Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I ask him in the name of his son Christ Jesus' name to help get me through the negatives of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and that made the erection start to soften and I didn't lay back down until my genitals were fully soft.I also went back to sleep when they were.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men and also,to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I turned to my Heavenly Father in prayer as I didn't want to sin against him.I prayed really hard to my Heavenly Father and I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to help me fight and resist the temptations to sin against him by lusting and fantasizing with sexual images of men and to manipulate my genitals alongside these images and I really prayed so hard for strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges and after praying,I felt stronger as I truly believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for.I felt stronger after that.I am also again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time at the moment.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.They both keep me going and help strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,they motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good,if uneventful,day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and since we were having a rainstorm today,which was a continuation of last night's torrential and terrible thunderstorm,I chose to stay home and take it easy for much of the day and also,catch up on some much needed work around the house and also,on some reading.I also popped a movie into the DVD player and I watched it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good,if uneventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.my moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and I ask him to help me endure and get through all of the negatives.I ask him in the mane of his son Jesus Christ for these things and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up for a while and chose to walk for a bit and as I did this,the erection started to soften and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation when I decided to get out of bed in the later early morning hours when I manipulated my genitals for the purpose of getting near/full erection and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping and yes,sexual images of men were clouding my mind at the same time.Fortunately for me,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him.I asked him to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I admitted everything to my Heavenly Father and I left nothing out.After I was finished praying,I felt better as I truly knew and believed that I was truly forgiven for my sins and that my heaven;y Father wiped the slate clean.I was still tempted pretty much throughout the day as I went through the rest of the day.Only this time,though it is still a work in progress,I had to let the unnatural sexual desires that I have that they don't own me.I have to stay strong and let them know that I own them and not the other way around.I kept up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father and I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to help me fight and resist all of these terrible temptations that were coming at me from all sides.I kept up in prayer and I continually asked my Heavenly Father for strength to help me fight and resist these temptations and after I was finished each time,I felt stronger and I truly believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.While I am doing this and will still continue to work on this as the days roll on,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I really need your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.They both help keep me going.They also strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,they motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to a local supermarket's customer service desk to pay on the electric bill.After that,I turned some bottles and cans in that had accumulated in the back seat of my car and after that,I headed over to a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up something that I really needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little bit of TV.As usual today,as it has been for the last few days,it was hazy hot and humid.I did everything in my power to try and stay cool,but I still sweated a lot and still felt hot.Right now,we are in the midst of a torrential and terrible thunderstorm.It is raining,thundering and windy.I was fortunate to have been in the house instead of being outside.Then again,after I did all that I had to do,I had really nothing else to do,but just stay in the house and take it easy.We are supposed to have rain tomorrow as well and I am just going to stay home and catch up on some much needed work that needs to be done around the house.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seemingly gets way too difficult for me to handle.Whenever this particular struggle tries to get the better of me,I simply pray about it and throw it on him as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through and to help me endure and they both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a calm and level plain.I am never alone in this struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation late last night when I manipulated my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect,but it lead to orgasm and subsequent climax.It was also to sexual images of men that clouded my mind and I gave into the fantasizing and lusting of them.I really felt miserable after that and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning.I also begged for his mercy as well as I was truly repentant.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning and again,I begged for his mercy.Though I did this,before I went to sleep last night,I talked with my Heavenly Father for over twenty minutes and I really poured my soul and myself out to him.I admitted everything that I had done and I left nothing out.I told my Heavenly Father everything that I had to tell him and after that over twenty minutes of prayer,I felt much better as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and actually understood me.I actually felt something while praying last night and it gave me a wonderful feeling of reassurance.I also slept better last night as well.While I have done that and still continue to do so,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts to please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I really need all of your prayers and your encouraging to help keep me going in this struggle.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and also,they make me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual on Sunday,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things planned.
I first went to my usual spirituality group and that went as well as expected.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after eating that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some money so I can pay my electric bill tomorrow.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered the money that I withdrew at Where's George and after that,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.I also managed to finish my personal PC work.I also had to put up with the hazy,hot and humid temps again for the third straight day.I am hoping that relief comes soon as I feel that we truly need it.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through and keep me calm and they both help in sustaining me and keeping me on a very calm and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both mu Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation late last night when I manipulated my genitals to sexual images of men that were clouding my mind and I wound up ejaculating as well.I was really miserable when that happened and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ for sinning against him by giving into the immoral impulses that I had last night.I did sleep soundly for the rest of the night and nothing happened while I was sleeping,except waking up to another erection when the wee early morning hours were still upon the time.I also was still tempted through the day to continue indulging and I kept up in prayer as these temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I kept up in prayer and I kept asking my Heavenly Father for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations and I did feel stronger after doing that.I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me and also,I would appreciate some encouraging words of support in the comments section.I need both prayers and encouragement to help keep me going and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of paying the electric bill,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and spent the rest of the day trying to get through this intense heat and humidity that I and the rest of the hometown are enduring.It is hazy,hot and humid here in my neck of the woods.The temps are in the lower 90's,but with the humidity,it feels like that it was almost 100 degrees.I got dressed to get out and run an errand that I had to run,despite the fact that it was hazy,hot and humid.
I had only one thing on my agenda today.I had to go to a local store to pick up a few things and after paying for them,I headed over to a local McDonald's to get myself a vanilla cone and after having that in the coolness of the restaurant,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend was and how he was handling the heat and humidity and after a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my clothes and sat all day around the house in my underpants while fans were running continuously.I haven't endured this much haziness,heat and humidity in years.I simply sat around almost naked trying to stay cool,though I was sweating some during the day and as a result of that,I kept drinking water like if it was going out of style.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming and/or difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through the negatives of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with and they both help in sustaining me and on a calm and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and walked back and forth around the room until the erection died down and when it did,I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted a little bit during the day,but for most of the day,I simply concentrated on surviving this intense heat and humidity that I have been enduring and also,been sweating pretty much while concentrating on surviving.While the temptations haven't been coming up on me as much,I am still asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am still going through a rough time.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural desires that I have that are connected to this terrible SSA.Thanks again in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards.Aside from those things,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and as the morning went on,I got dressed up to prepare for my job interview today.I was really thrilled that I finally got a call to be interviewed for a job.The job placement counselor picked me up and we headed for the office where the interview was to be conducted.
The interview went great and the job placement counselor said that I gave very excellent answers.After it was over,he dropped me off at home and I got out of my fancy clothes and into my normal casual clothes as I had quite a few things to do today.
After dropping off some newspapers at a few houses,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a gallon of milk and after paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the milk in the fridge and I also helped my next door neighbor out with something and when I was finished,I went back into my house to relax.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling daily with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negatives of this particular struggle and they both help in sustaining me.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and didn't lay back down until my genitals softened and when they were,I laid back down and went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I must say that for the first time in quite a while,I wasn't tempted as much as I have been in the last few days.I guess the enthusiasm of my job interview going good was what took my mind off of my SSA struggles and again,not much temptation today.Still,I am asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this struggle and strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
Today,I got a call for a job interview that will be done tomorrow.I am looking forward to this and I am hoping that it will lead to something.I also let the job placement people know about this as well and I am hoping that they can help me out in anything during the interview.
I had a few things on my agenda today.I first went to see the nurse practitioner at the local hospital and I headed for there.
The session with her went great and after getting my prescription,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed over to the bank to withdraw a few dollars.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy while catching up on some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure and get through all the negative rigamarole of this double whammy of a psychiatric disorder that I struggle with and they both help in sustaining me.They also help keep me on a very calm and level plain.I feel a little bit better knowing that they are there leading the way.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get up and that is what made the erection start to soften and when it was fully soft,I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in same sex fantasies and lusting.I was also tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping as sexual images of men were clouding my mind.I kept up in prayer all day to my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these terrible temptations came at me from all sides.I asked my Heavenly Father to give me strength to help me fight and resist all of these terrible temptations.I asked for this strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ and after I was finished praying,I felt stronger and more at ease as I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and also,he gave me what I asked for.Though I have been keeping up in prayer to my Heavenly Father in regards to this particular struggle,I am again asking that all of you who continue to follow my blog and read the posts to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a difficult emotional period in my life and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.Please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular struggle and strength my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of my followers for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have an interview for a job and I am hoping that everything goes well.Aside from that,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local bargain closeout store to pick up a couple of things.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and did my personal PC work.When that was finished,I decided to take a drive around the city to see how everything was doing and when I couldn't find anything going on,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day,as for me,going to church on Sunday morning always makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk to my Heavenly Father in prayer whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through all the negative emotions and emotionally stressful period that this type of psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not only sustaining me,but they also help keep me on a very calm and level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I got up out of bed and I headed for the bathroom as I had to use it.My genitals were fully softened after I was finished in the bathroom and I went back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men as sexual images of men tried to take over my mind.I prayed real hard to my Heavenly Father and I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations because they were very overwhelming.I asked my Heavenly Father for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible urges and I prayed real hard and after I was finished,I felt much better and also,much stronger as I knew and believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.While I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts to please continue to pray for me as I am going through this very difficult emotionally trying time.Please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section as I also need some words of encouragement as well alongside your prayers.Your prayers and your words of encouragement both help keep me going in this particular struggle and make me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of my followers for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of seeing the nurse practitioner,I have not made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ