Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to visit with a locally living friend to see how he was doing.After spending a few minutes with,I headed over to a picnic that my church was having.I was looking forward to this occasion with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.This was to be my first church picnic since being reinstated as a member of my church last year.
The picnic was wonderful and I had some really great fellowship with everyone there.After being there for much of the day,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I watched some TV.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or a other times,from one minute/moment to the next.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle,as a burden,to my Heavenly Father in prayer whenever I feel that the struggle is seemingly getting way too difficult for me to handle.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negatives and they both help in sustaining me.They also help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.I am never alone in this struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and that is what made the erection start to soften.When my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.For most of the day,since I was at the church picnic,I really didn't have problems with temptation.I simply kept busy with socializing and fellowship with my fellow church congregants and the day was wonderful.It took my mind off of my struggles and it was great.Still,I am asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep on praying for me and also,don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular struggle.They also strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also strengthen my motivation to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
After having a light lunch,I got a phone call and it was a spur of the moment job interview call to meet with the manager at a local restaurant in the early afternoon.I went to the interview after dressing up in dress clothes and they told me that would be in touch this coming Wednesday. After the interview,I left the restaurant I stopped at a gas station to get some gas in my gas tank.I headed straight home after that to change clothes.After that,I headed out to a friend's place in another area of the county where I live to check up on him.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed for a local Dollar Tree to pick up something else.After that,I picked up my laundry at my niece's house.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I put what I had bought away and I relaxed for a while.I also did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and throw it on him as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative effects of this disorder and they both help in sustaining and also,they both help keep me on a calmer and level plain.It shows that I am never alone in this struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get up out of bed and my genitals started to soften.When my genitals were fully soft,though it took a while,I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men,though not as much as I had been the last few days.I simply kept my mind on other things and simply doing what I had planned for today.Nothing sexual glanced through my mind.I simply kept my mind on other things and that helped get my mind off of anything sexual.Though I went through the day without any problems in regards to my SSA struggles,I am again asking that all of you please keep praying for me as I am going through this rough emotional time.I need prayers by all of you who follow my blog and read my posts.I also need words of encouragement by all of you alongside your prayers.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also strengthen my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I got dressed quickly and I headed over to the place where the spirituality group was being held,only to realize that it was canceled for today.I simply joined in a meeting that they were having there and it was wonderful.After the meeting,we had ourselves a lunch and after that,I left and decided to have lunch at a local kitchen also as I was still a little hungry.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things needed.After that,I stopped at a local McDonald's for a vanilla cone and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to relax and do my personal PC work.I also listened to some music while doing that.I also decided to relax for a bit and take it easy.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden and I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help get me through the negative effects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with and they both help in sustaining me.They also help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and that made my genitals start to soften.When my genitals were fully soft,I laid back down and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies of other men and also,to "near masturbate" when these sexual images started to cloud my mind.I took it to my Heavenly Father and I prayed for strength to fight and resist these urges.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep me strong as I didn't want to fall short.I prayed and prayed real hard.After I was finished,I felt much stronger and also,I knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me the strength that I asked for.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I am really struggling right now and I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also ask that you please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your encouraging words and prayers do help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle that gets difficult by the day.I also need my determination to overcome this terrible SSA strengthened each and every day.I also need my motivation strengthened to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA as both your prayers and encouraging help strengthen also.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,before doing anything,I got a call from the job placement counselor.He asked me if I could be ready by a certain time so we could go to a local nursing home for an interview and I said sure.After hanging up,I jumped into the shower to clean up.After the shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I checked on my e-mail for only a few minutes and after that,I got dressed up and eagerly awaited for the job placement counselor to pick me up to take me to the nursing home.
When we got to the nursing home,I learned that it really wasn't an interview in the true sense.It was to fill out an employment application and hand it over to the person who conducts the interviews and they informed me that they should be contacting me in a few days.After that,the job placement counselor advised me to continue putting in more applications online in the meantime as he was dropping me off at home.I told him that I would and he dropped me off.
When I got back into the house,I got out of the dress clothes and into a pair of lounge pants.I did my personal PC work and I had a light lunch.I also got dressed in my normal casual clothes to proceed with the rest of the day.
I dropped off some newspapers at a few friend's houses and after that,I headed over to a local supermarket to turn in some cans and bottles that were in the back seat of my car.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put in a few more applications online and I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in prayer as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in sustaining me and keeping me on a calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours twice when I was awakened by erections at two separate intervals.On both occasions,I turned the opposite way that I was laying down in bed and the erections softened after I did that.I went right back to sleep after that.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.I was also tempted to "near masturbate" to these things as well.I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father all through the day as these temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I prayed to my Heavenly Father for strength to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I asked for strength to fight and resist these urges.I felt stronger and much more in control after praying.I also knew and believed that my Heavenly Father gave me everything that I asked for and I felt it all over my heart and mind.Though I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am going through this very stressful and difficult emotional time.I also ask that you please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rare.I need both prayers and positive verbal encouragement.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help strengthen my determination to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA.They also motivate to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with daily.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my Thursday morning spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning to eagerly await a phone call that I was waiting for from the job placement counselor at the job placement agency.When I did get the phone call,it wasn't what I was hoping for.I was hoping that he had set up an interview at a nursing home in the community that I lived in,but told me that he is postponing this because a tragedy happened in his family that he had to attend to.After hanging up,I was disappointed.I was hoping that the ball would start to roll for me,but this unexpected news happened.I know and understand that this is only human nature and that it can't be helped when an unexpected tragedy happens.It was still pretty disappointing.He said that he would set it up by next week and I simply said okay.I am hoping that the openings for cleaners at that local nursing home are still open by next week.After that,I hit the showers and I when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple if things planned for today.I had to drop something off at a friends place of business.Before that,I dropped my laundry off at my niece's house.After that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a bit and did some cleaning up around the house.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it;s accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle as a burden to my Heavenly Father in prayer.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.I ask him for strength to help me endure and both he and his son Christ Jesus both help in sustaining me.They also help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up for a while and I proceeded to get up out of bed.This actually made the erection start to soften.When my genitals were fully soft,I went right back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have.I was tempted to lust and fantasize with other men as sexual images of men kept clouding my mind throughout the day.I didn't want to fall short as I did last week.I prayed to my Heavenly Father and asked him for strength.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep me strong.I also asked him for the strength to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges that were coming at me from all sides.These urges can be very overwhelming and I never know how strong that they can be most of the time.After praying,I felt better and much stronger.I knew and truly believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me the strength that I asked for.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog to please continue praying for me as I am going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Prayers and emotional encouragement are both strong weapons in the SSA struggle and they both help out in immeasurable ways.Their power is both strong and immeasurable.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.As I have said before and I will say again,both your prayers and your positive emotional verbal encouragement help keep me going in this fight and they make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA.They also motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ ffor everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work,had lunch,and got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.I had a few things planned.Before leaving the house,I had a talk with the job placement counselor from the job placement agency and he said that he was going to set up an opportunity with a local nursing home for a possible interview and hopefully a job.He said that he would be in tough with me tomorrow morning.After the phone call,I left the house and proceeded what I needed to get done accomplished.
I first went to get my resume copied and after that,I headed for a local Family Video store to bring back a couple of problem DVD's that I had bought a little over a week ago.There were not working right as I played them and I wanted to be what could be done.After working it out with them,I headed over to a nearby hair place to get my hair cut.After that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local store to pick up a box of allergy pills.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at other times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle as a burden on my Heavenly Father and I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help get me through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in both sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a normal level plain.I am not alone here in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I simply sat up and proceeded to get up out of bed.This made the erection start to soften and after a while of walking around a bit,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies of other men and also,to "near masturbate" to these images that were clouding my mind.I prayed to my Heavenly Father as these temptations kept coming at me from all sides and I asked him for strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and after I was finished,I both truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for.I also felt stronger every time I finished praying.Though I am doing that,I am again asking that all of you followers of my blog to please continue praying for as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Please keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some encouraging words in the comments section.They,your prayers and positive verbal encouragement,both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help keep my determination to overcome this terrible SSA strong.They also motivate me to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continuous prayers and positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

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Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
When I went out,I stopped a few yard sales to look around and after that,I headed out to see how a friend of mine was doing.
On the way there,I stopped by a Salvation Army thrift store and bought a few things.After that,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a car wash to check and see if they had any cans and bottles to be collected.I found a few and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a bit and did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did a little bit more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not only sustaining me,but also,they help keep me on a calmer and level plain.It shows that I am never alone in this particular psychiatric double whammy struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I sat up and since I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,I headed for there.My genitals started to soften as I headed for there and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Thought I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies with other men.I kept busy throughout the day to get my mind off of sexual stuff.I was out for much of the day and I kept busy with other pursuits.It kept my mind off of the lusts and the cravings of sexual things and I did feel better as a result.I had a pretty good day just being out in the community and doing things that kept my mind on positive things.While the day went by pretty well,I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follow my blog and read the posts.Please continue in prayer for me.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I value any positive verbal encouragement.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going.They help me in keeping my determination to overcome this terrible SSA strong.They also motivate me to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have no other plans.But I hoped that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and after a few early morning phone calls,I showered quickly and after my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money to pay a bill at a local supermarket.Before the payment was made,I headed back home to register the bills at the Where's George site and after that,I headed back out to pay the bill at a local supermarket.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did some more personal PC work while doing so.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure the negative effects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not only sustaining me,but also,they help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when an erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I started to get up out of bed and that is what made my genitals start to soften.After staying up for a period of time,I went right back to bed and to sleep once my genitals were fully soft.Though I escaped this particular episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies of other men.I was also tempted to "near masturbate" with them as well.I chose to stay busy throughout the day as I went through the day.I stayed outside and also kept my fingers busy.I also cleaned up a little bit around the house and tried to keep things orderly.This took my mind off of anything sexual with other men.I also even managed to do some praying as well.I prayed to him in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to help me fight and resist these urges that were coming at me from all sides and after that,I felt much stronger and also,I knew and believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.I am also again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts here to please continue in prayer for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rare.Please leave me an encouraging word or two.You never know how good both of these can do.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going and also,they strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and they also motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
After a phone call from my job placement counselor,I headed over to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,which went great.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and also got some free food at the same time.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did a little bit more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through all the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I have and they both help in keeping me sustained and also,they help keep me on a calmer and level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I fell again into temptation early this morning by masturbating and while it was mostly emotional,there was a little lusting and fantasy involved as well.I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I really poured out my soul to them.I felt much better and I went on with the rest of the day.I am really being tempted and the temptations keep coming at me from all sides.I really need to learn some more self control when it comes to this particular area of my SSA struggle.I really also need to be really tough on myself and really work on trying to be stronger than the urges that keep coming at me.I am again asking that all of my fellow followers who continually follow my blog and read the posts to please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I am still going through a difficult emotional time at the moment and I am still in need of prayers and encouraging words.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also keep my determination to overcome this terrible SSA strong and also,they motivate me to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first dropped off my turntable at a friend's place of business and after that,I headed over to the post office to buy a money order so my car insurance could be paid.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I called DirecTV to pay my bill for them.After that,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that does make my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father by throwing it on him as a burden.I ask him in the name of his Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with and they both help in keep me sustained and also,on a much calmer and level plain.I am never alone in this particular psychiatric disorder that I have and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks in advance to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and that is what made my genitals start to soften.I didn't lay back down and go back to sleep until my genitals were fully soft.Though I did escape this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in masturbation,though it was mostly on an emotional level today rather than sexual,though lustful thoughts and sexual fantasies can be a contributor to why I fall into masturbation at some times.I simply turned to my Heavenly Father and I asked him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to give me the strength to fight and resist the urge to masturbate.I have to continually keep in mind that masturbation,though not specifically discussed nor mentioned in the Holy Bible,is still an unclean,dirty and impure habit.Masturbation is usually tied to lusting and fantasies of a sexual nature and it also involves self stimulation without paying the price of committing a sinful act that is connected with anything having to do with sexual matters or activity.Again,I asked my Heavenly Father to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges to masturbate and after each prayer,I felt much stronger and also,I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I had asked for.I felt stronger and also,more at ease.I am again asking that all of you continue in prayer for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time right now.Please continue praying for me.I also ask that none of you followers of my blog be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help keep my determination to overcome this terrible SSA strong.They also motivate me to continue in my healing journey to to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected to the terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and before showering,I had a talk with the job placement counselor from the job placement agency to inform him of my placing four more applications online.He also informed me that he will be e-mailing my resume to temp agencies and see where that will lead.After talking with him,I showered quickly.After the shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to finish up my grocery shopping and after that was done,I stopped at a local McDonald's to have myself a vanilla ice cream cone.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I started to do some much needed cleaning up around the house.After that was done,I relaxed for a while before doing some more personal PC work.I also watched a DVD that I put into the DVD player.
After eating,I had to make a quick errand again before settling in for the night.When I got home,I relaxed and did some last minute personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way to overwhelming for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ's name to get me through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not only sustaining me,but they also help keep me on a calmer and much more level plain.I feel a little bit better knowing that they are getting me through all of this.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another erection,though it didn't last very long.I sat up and since I had to use the bathroom,I headed for the bathroom and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft.I went back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted,though again,minimally,to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men.I simply kept busy with what I had to get done and I got through the day unscathed for once.I was out of the house for much of the day and being out of the house did help take my mind off of sexual stuff.Though I did get through with nothing to be sorry about,I am still in need of prayers by all of you who follow my blog and read the posts.Please continue in prayer for me.I also ask that you leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayers and encouraging words desperately.They both help keep me going in this particular struggle and they also help strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of paying a coupe of bills,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,before jumping in the shower to clean up,I got the phone call that I expected regarding the job that I was interviewed for Friday and they told me that they didn't the much needed stuff,like contracts and other things,so the job can be started.After that phone call,I called the job placement counselor to share the bad news and he advised me to keep logging onto websites where I can fill applications for employment online and I managed to fill out four applications online today.I also called the guy who called me this morning and I told him that I still want to get started working and I really want to work and he said that it was great and we hung up.After that,I showered and had my quick breakfast alongside my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,though it took me a while,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed as I had a couple of things that I had to do.
I first went to the post office to mail something out.After that,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I picked up you another job application from a local restaurant and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put what I had bought in the refrigerator and I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negatives of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with and they both help in sustaining me.They also help keep me on a more calm and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and it does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection.I sat up and proceeded to get up out of bed.I walked around for a while and this is what made my genitals get softened.When my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and to sleep.I was tempted,but minimally,throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men.This time,I went right to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges as they were coming at me from all sides.I did feel better after that and also,I felt much stronger and I truly knew and believed that he gave me what I asked for.Though I did that today and will try to continue it every day,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I am also asking that all of you followers to please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words do help me in many ways.They both help keep my determination to over this terrible SSA strong.They also motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have are connected with the terrible SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and headed for church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the study class and the worship service were wonderful.I also did a reading from the Holy Bible in front of the congregation this morning as well.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few more things.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I got out of my suit.I did my personal PC work after all of that.When I was finished with that,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.I also caught up on some reading today.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help get me through all the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I have and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get up out of bed and that made my genitals start to soften.I walked around a little bit and when my genitals were fully soft,I went right back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.I did get tempted pretty much throughout the day,but to get my mind off of anything sexual,I started to help someone else that I just met that struggles with SSA.I requested that he be added to a group that I am a member of and I advised him that when approved,to introduce himself to the group.I also advised him to share his struggles with the group and to not be afraid to do so.I also advised him to start seeking out friendships with other men who worship with him and to have fellowship with other men before and after the worship service.I am hoping that he uses the advice that I gave him.Okay,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time in my life.I am also asking that all of you who follow my blog to please leave a word of encouragement in the comments section.Your prayers and your verbal encouragement both help me a lot.They both help keep me going in this struggle and they also strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also help motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I am hoping to hear from the person who interviewed me for a job on Friday.I am hoping to hear from him,as he said he would,at 9:00am tomorrow morning.I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to the local Sears to pay a bill and after that,I headed over to a local Salvation Army thrift store to look around.After that,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick ups much needed groceries and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and I went to my room upstairs to throw some garbage away that needed to be thrown away.It took me about two hours to get done,but I managed to get everything done and when I was finished,I relaxed and did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate from day to day,or at other times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father,throw it on hm as a burden,and ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negatives affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with and they both help in sustaining me and also,they both help keep me on a much calmer and more level plain.I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation by masturbating in the wee early morning hours.I had a throbbing erection and I grabbed a hold of my genitals and masturbated away.I really felt miserable after this particular fall and I immediately asked my heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning in the name of his son Jesus Christ.This fall was mostly emotional,though there was some lusting involved as well.I did feel much better after asking my Heavenly Father for forgiveness as I was truly sorry for sinning against him.I know and truly believe that I am forgiven and that my Heavenly Father has wiped the slate clean.For the rest of the day,I tried to keep busy as to not fall again like I did this morning.I was out for some of the day and I concentrated on the cleaning work in my upstairs bedroom.Nothing hindered me for the rest of the day as I went along.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me and also,to please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments.Your prayers and encouraging are not only very important to me,but also are desperately needed.They both help keep me going in this particular struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA,but also to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
It is time to catch up on the last two days.I missed posting an entry yesterday and I want to catch up.
Yesterday,I had an appointment with my therapist and that session went great.Before that,I went to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and that meeting also went well.I also had lunch at a local kitchen after the group meeting was over.Later on in the afternoon,while I was home,I e-mailed my resume to somebody who is hiring in my area and I got an immediate phone call to have an interview set up today.I turned in for the night later on.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed up in a dress shirt,slacks and tie and eagerly awaited for the phone call to come.I waited for the call for most of the day and when it came,I met the interviewer at a local Tim Horton's and according to the interviewer,everything was great and that I will hear from them Monday morning at 9:00am.After it was over,I headed for the bank to withdraw some money that I needed and after I did that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of the dress clothes and into my casual clothes and headed out to give a little bit of money for something that I am paying on.After that,I got a half gallon of milk at a convenience store and got some gas at the gas pumps.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the milk and started to heat up something for dinner and while eating,I watched the evening news for a while and later on,after doing some more personal PC work,I paid a visit to a friend to see how he was doing.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply,as a burden,take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in prayer.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negatives of this struggle and they both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a calm and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another erection.I sat up for a while and proceeded to get out of bed and the erection started to soften.When it was fully softened,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men,but today,it wasn't as bad as I had too much on my mind.I had the job interview and that really was wonderful and I kept busy throughout the day with other things and that took my mind off of my SSA struggles.The only thing that I ask is for all of you to please keep up praying for me as I am still going through a difficult time and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments.Your prayers and your encouraging words are very valuable to me and they do help in keeping me going in this struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day yesterday and today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast.I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I got dressed up and I went to one of the places that I applied for a job to see when I might be called for an interview.After about a couple of minutes,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into casual clothes and I headed the bank to withdraw a little bit of money and I went back home to register the bill at Where's George and when that was done,I headed to a gas station to get some gas and after that,I turned in a little bit of bottles and cans that I had in the back seat of my car and when that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a pair of lounge pants and decided to do some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.When that happens,I talk to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I really lay this on him as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negatives of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not only sustaining me,but also help keep me on a calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate twice during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at two separate intervals during that time.On both occasions,I tossed and I turned as I didn't want to give into these temptations that come at me during the wee early morning hours.I didn't want to fall again like I did on Monday.I need to keep saying to myself that I own these unnatural sexual desires that I have and that they don't own me.On both these occasions,it worked.The erections both died down and I went back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was tempted throughout the day to masturbate or "near masturbate."It wasn't just to sexual images of men.There was also an emotional thing to it as well,as some of the time,though not often,I masturbate to relieve me of any sexual tensions that I might have.I know that this isn't an outlet for a single guy like myself,but since I am so used to doing that,it seems to be a regular ritual.Nowadays,it doesn't happen every day like it did when I was younger.But it has become a habit,although I know way deep down that masturbation is a disgustingly dirty and unclean habit.Today,the temptation to masturbate was for mostly emotional reasons and not mostly due to sexual images of men clouding my mind,though that is a contributing factor most of the time alongside the emotional stuff.This time around,I had to really pray hard and ask my Heavenly Father to give me the strength fight and resist this particular urge today.I also need to learn more cleaner ways to relieve myself of my sexual tension as I do have quite a bot of it.I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to help me fight and resist the urge repeatedly as the temptation to do that really hounded me through the day.After finishing praying,I did feel much stronger and also,felt that my heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for and needed.While I did do that today,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayers and encouraging words from all of you who regularly visit my blog and read the posts.My blog does get many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular struggle.They also motivate continually to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouraging words.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and also,provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of my spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I firstly dropped off some free newspapers to a few people that I knew and after that,I headed over to a local supermarket to turn in a few bottles.After that,I headed over to see a friend to see how he was doing and to talk over some things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have to put up and endure the symptoms of Schizophrenia and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through all the negative effects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not sustaining me,but also help keep me on a calmer and level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate at two separate intervals during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by erections at both times.I tossed and I turned until the erection started to soften and I went right back to sleep afterwards.Though I escaped this episode,I gave into a later temptation after getting up that involved "near masturbation"(substitute for my typical "manipulate(ing)my genitals" phrase as I was trying to find a more mature way to avoid the common immature sexual slang phrase "playing with myself" in hopes that I try to avoid tempting anyone who reads what I post here on my blog)when sexual images of men clouded my mind as I was still trying to wake myself as I was still sleepy,but fortunately,I managed to stop myself and asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him and for the lust that I had that motivated the "near masturbation" that I fell in to.I asked my Heavenly Father in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning against him by giving into that particular temptation.I felt better after I finished and I knew and believed that I was truly forgiven and that the slate was wiped clean.I was tempted throughout the day to continue to indulge in this sort of thing.The temptations were very powerful and overwhelming.I kept asking my heavenly Father for strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations that were coming at from all sides.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep me strong and to give me the needed strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations as I didn't want to fall into sin again.The SSA struggle is a very difficult struggle indeed.I am learning that each and every day.I am always in the need of help and support from anyone out there who also struggles with SSA.I am always in need of emotional support and emotional encouragement as I am alone in my hometown and there are hardly any support groups out there in my hometown that can help me out.This is why I am always asking that those of who follow my blog and read the posts to please keep up in prayer for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need all the emotional support and emotional encouragement that I can get.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.I need all the encouraging words that I can get.Your prayers and your encouraging are very valuable to me.They also both help keep me going in this particular struggle.They also make me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome SSA and also,they motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made nay plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day for today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
Today,it was a rainy day.We had non-stop rain throughout the day.I simply used the occasion to clean up around the house as it was raining.After that was done,I relaxed and took it easy for a while and I did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continue moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get through this struggle when it tries to get the better of me and they both help in sustaining me and also,keeping me on a more calmer and level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am going to be very blunt and honest here.I fell again this morning by masturbating to sexual images of men.I really felt miserable after I had fallen.I don't know what I am doing wrong here.I don't know why I keep falling here and there.After my fall,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for the fall and I really begged for his mercy as this was one of those continuous cycles of falls that have been happening as of late.After praying,I felt better and truly believed that I was forgiven.I also truly believed that the slate was wiped clean.I ask that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I also ask that you please leave me a comment or two in the comment section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.They both help keep me going and make me even more determined to continue in my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,they motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks to also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After showering,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I dressed up and headed for church for the morning's outdoor worship service and the brunch afterwards.
Both the service and the brunch were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,which included me helping out with the clean-up,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I did some reading and relaxed.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having to put up with the emotional ups and downs of BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of the schizophrenic tendencies that I have.I also have to endure hearing sounds and noises that only I can hear and nobody else can,such as voices calling out my name,footsteps and turning around to see that nobody is there other than me and other things of that nature.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply turn this particular struggle over to my Heavenly Father and I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help me endure and get me through all the negative effects of having this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not only sustaining me,but they also help keep me on a calm and level plain.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation yet again late last night when I manipulated my genitals to sexual images of men that clouded my mind and it led to ejaculation.I was really miserable after that happened and I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I begged for his mercy because I was really sorry for failing him yet again.I asked him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to forgive me for sinning and for giving into the temptation to lust and fantasize with other men.I begged for my Heavenly Father's mercy as I sinned again.I was truly sorry for what I had done.I didn't want to sin,but my sinful and imperfect nature took over me and I gave into the the lusts and temptations of the flesh.I prayed real hard to my Heavenly Father and I left nothing out.I prayed everything to him and I repeatedly asked for his forgiveness and for his mercy upon me.After I was finished praying,I did feel much better and I truly believed that I was forgiven for my sins.I also truly knew and believed that the slate was wiped clean.I am again asking that all of you to please keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I have been falling like crazy lately and I really need some prayerful support from all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts.I am also asking that none of you be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.They visit,but don't leave anything encouraging and/or upbuilding.Please leave me an encouraging word when you visit as I truly need some encouraging words and your prayers.They both help keep me going in this struggle and help strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Yes,encouraging words and prayers are both helpful and I really and desperately need them day after day.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ