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Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
The very first thing that I did today was that I returned some cans and bottles that had accumulated in the back seat of my car.After doing that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the drug store to pick up my prescription.After paying the co-pay for it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through the negatives and that both help in sustaining me and keeping me on a calmer level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I turned to my right side,but the erections wouldn't soften.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and I got up to use it.While on the way there,though it was slow going,the erection started to die down and when I was finished in the bathroom,my genitals were fully soft and I went back t bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.I stayed busy throughout the day just doing the things that needed to be done.I kept my mind on the things that I was doing and I didn't let nothing sexual take over my mind.I simply stayed out in the community and that is what helped me take my mind off of the negative sexual images of men.While I escaped today without anything happening,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time at this moment.I am also asking that all of you followers of my blog to please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.Your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also strengthen my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work as I didn't have the time to finish and I got dressed quickly as I had to get to my spirituality group and also,be on time for it.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen that I eat lunch at every Thursday,but got a back lunch as they were going to have an important meeting there.I simply took my bag lunch and headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a gallon of milk.After paying for it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped off everything and I headed back out again to deposit a little bit of money in my checking account.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I ate my bag lunch and I finished my personal PC work.I simply relaxed for the rest of the afternoon.
I did go back out to get a sandwich to have with some soup that I had as that was going to be my evening meal.After eating that,I simply went back out for a while and when I came back home,I stayed home.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.If having BPD wasn't enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in both sustaining me and keeping me on a much calmer level plain.It makes me feel a little bit better knowing that my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ are there to help me get through the negativism's of this psychiatric double whammy that I have.Thanks to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another erection.I sat up and I proceeded to get out of bed.Though it was slow going,it made the erection start to soften.When my genitals were fully soft,I laid back down and subsequently went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was again tempted to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men,but today,it wasn't too big of a thing as I kept busy with things.I simply kept my mind on other things,and didn't let my mind wander off into forbidden territory,in regards to anything having to do with sexual things.I kept my mind focused and I had a pretty good feeling all over about that.While today wasn't big on anything like that,I am again asking that all of you who continue to follow my blog and read my posts to please keep praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I am also asking that all of you leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.Your prayers and words of encouragement do matter and they do help me in more ways than one.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.They also motivate me to continue in my healing journey from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work quickly and after a while of relaxation for mot of the morning,I got dressed up in dress clothes to prepare for my two interviews today for jobs in my area.
The first interview,which was supposed to be a phone interview,never called.The substitute job placement counselor and I waited for almost half an hour for the phone to ring.I had to call the place to see what was what and since the substitute job placement counselor had another client to meet at a certain time,she left.Not too long after she left,another substitute job placement counselor came and took me to the other interview,which did happen.It was at a local nursing home and the interview went great and they informed me that they would let me know in two weeks.After it was over,I was dropped off at home and I changed clothes real quickly as I had a few things to do,such as a much needed errand that needed to be run.After that was finished,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did a little bit more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also went out again for a while.When I got home,I got ready to retire for the evening.Overall,a pretty good and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and I throw it in him as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative effects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in sustaining me and keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and didn't lay back down until my genitals,though it was pretty slow going,softened.When my genitals were fully softened,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting with sexual images of other men.But today,I kept my mind focused on the things that were going on with me.I kept my mind focused on my job interview and the errand that I had to run when I got home from my interview.This time,I didn't have to worry about falling into sin via temptation and that was great.I am still asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.They both help keep me going.They also strengthen both my determination to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA.They also help strengthen my motivation to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected to this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned for today.
Before I went out to do anything,I got two phone calls in regards to applications that I filed for work in my hometown.I have two interviews for jobs tomorrow.One will be a phone interview that will take place at home with a substitute job placement counselor sitting in on the interview.The next will be at a local nursing home looking for someone to work as a kitchen assistant.I am hoping and praying that at least one of these will lead to a job.I am getting sick of being unemployed and not doing anything except sitting on my butt and getting bored.Again,I am hoping and praying that this leads to a job.
After the phone calls,I headed out to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed out to a nearby Goodwill thrift store that just opened up in the area where my friend was living.I bought some nice things there and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Salvation Army thrift store and I bought a few more things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed for a bit.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They help in both sustaining me and keeping me on a calmer level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular psychiatric struggle that I have and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up for a while and I proceeded to get out of bed.My genitals were starting to soften and when they were fully soft,I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasizing of other men.This time,I kept myself busy by being out in the community today.Since I was out in the community,sexual thoughts didn't take over my mind as I was going over what I was doing at the thrift stores and visiting my friend.It was great.I had a wonderful day out in the community.I also had my mind on the job interviews that I have tomorrow afternoon.Again,I am hoping that these lead to a job.I am hoping and praying that it does.I am again asking for prayers by my fellow followers here as I desperately need them.Please keep me in your prayers that these interviews lead to a job and also,please continue praying for me as I am still going through a rough emotional time here.I also ask for some encouraging words in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words really help.They both help keep me going.They also keep strengthening my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also keep strengthening my determination to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with daily.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of the two job interviews,I have really no plans.But I hope that the interviews lead me to a job and that what I choose to do after them give me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I had to take my niece to work as her car was in the shop.On the way there,I stopped to get some gas at a local gas station and after that was done,we headed for her work place.After dropping her off,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work.I also had a light lunch after doing that.After lunch,I eagerly awaited for the time to leave the house to pick her up and when it came,I hurried out to where she worked and picked her up.After dropping her off at home,I also headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply throw this struggle as a burden on my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They help in both sustaining me and keeping on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened out of a deep sleep by another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and that made my genitals soften.After a few minutes,when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men,but today,it wasn't as bad as it has been on past days.Today,I received an e-mail from someone that I was trying to help on Facebook and he actually did what I advised him to do.He actually prayed to our Heavenly Father and asked for strength to fight and resist the temptations that he was experiencing at that time.He asked for that strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ for that strength and that made me feel joyful.I was really overwhelmed that my prayers were answered and that he did the right thing,by going to our Heavenly Father for strength to fight and resist the temptations.Again,that made me feel joy and exuberance.My faith in my Heavenly Father has also strengthened as a result of that.For the rest of the day,I felt nothing but joy and happiness that my helping someone in a time of need had actually really helped them.Thank you Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything.Fellow followers,I am still going to ask for prayers by all of you.I am also asking that y'all leave an encouraging word or two.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also strengthen both my determination to overcome SSA and my motivation to continue in my journey of healing from these unwanted and unnatural desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks again to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up quickly in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service went great.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I had a light lunch.After that,I did my personal PC work.When I was finished,I relaxed for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me get through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in keeping me sustained and on a much calmer level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation late last night by masturbating.There was some lusting involved in this fall as well.After washing my hands,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning against him by falling by masturbation.I prayed real hard and I didn't leave anything out.I did feel better and I also knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.For much of the day when I came home from church,I stayed busy by keeping in touch with my online friends on both Facebook and sending e-mails to my friends via my many e-mail accounts.I also had to continuously help a Facebook contact to go to our Heavenly Father in prayer to ask for strength to fight and resist the urge to masturbate as he was lusting and yearning to see my private parts.I continuously told him that I couldn't do that as that would be sinful for me to do.He did continuously insist,but I stood my ground.I kept up my ground and simply and tactfully told him that I was signing off and that I was going to pray for him that he receives strength for our Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.I also prayed that he would go to our Heavenly Father in prayer and ask for that strength to fight and resist that particular urge.I am hoping that he does the right thing and prays and prays real hard.I also didn't want to fall again,so I kept close to my Heavenly Father and I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist the urges as they came at me from all sides.I prayed and prayed and I knew that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for.I am also again asking for prayers by all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.They both help me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also both strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also strengthen my motivation to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to visit with a locally living friend to see how he was doing.After spending a few minutes with,I headed over to a picnic that my church was having.I was looking forward to this occasion with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.This was to be my first church picnic since being reinstated as a member of my church last year.
The picnic was wonderful and I had some really great fellowship with everyone there.After being there for much of the day,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I watched some TV.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or a other times,from one minute/moment to the next.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle,as a burden,to my Heavenly Father in prayer whenever I feel that the struggle is seemingly getting way too difficult for me to handle.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negatives and they both help in sustaining me.They also help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.I am never alone in this struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and that is what made the erection start to soften.When my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.For most of the day,since I was at the church picnic,I really didn't have problems with temptation.I simply kept busy with socializing and fellowship with my fellow church congregants and the day was wonderful.It took my mind off of my struggles and it was great.Still,I am asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep on praying for me and also,don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular struggle.They also strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also strengthen my motivation to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
After having a light lunch,I got a phone call and it was a spur of the moment job interview call to meet with the manager at a local restaurant in the early afternoon.I went to the interview after dressing up in dress clothes and they told me that would be in touch this coming Wednesday. After the interview,I left the restaurant I stopped at a gas station to get some gas in my gas tank.I headed straight home after that to change clothes.After that,I headed out to a friend's place in another area of the county where I live to check up on him.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed for a local Dollar Tree to pick up something else.After that,I picked up my laundry at my niece's house.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I put what I had bought away and I relaxed for a while.I also did some reading.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at other times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father and throw it on him as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative effects of this disorder and they both help in sustaining and also,they both help keep me on a calmer and level plain.It shows that I am never alone in this struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get up out of bed and my genitals started to soften.When my genitals were fully soft,though it took a while,I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men,though not as much as I had been the last few days.I simply kept my mind on other things and simply doing what I had planned for today.Nothing sexual glanced through my mind.I simply kept my mind on other things and that helped get my mind off of anything sexual.Though I went through the day without any problems in regards to my SSA struggles,I am again asking that all of you please keep praying for me as I am going through this rough emotional time.I need prayers by all of you who follow my blog and read my posts.I also need words of encouragement by all of you alongside your prayers.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also strengthen my motivation to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I got dressed quickly and I headed over to the place where the spirituality group was being held,only to realize that it was canceled for today.I simply joined in a meeting that they were having there and it was wonderful.After the meeting,we had ourselves a lunch and after that,I left and decided to have lunch at a local kitchen also as I was still a little hungry.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things needed.After that,I stopped at a local McDonald's for a vanilla cone and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to relax and do my personal PC work.I also listened to some music while doing that.I also decided to relax for a bit and take it easy.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden and I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help get me through the negative effects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with and they both help in sustaining me.They also help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and that made my genitals start to soften.When my genitals were fully soft,I laid back down and I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies of other men and also,to "near masturbate" when these sexual images started to cloud my mind.I took it to my Heavenly Father and I prayed for strength to fight and resist these urges.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep me strong as I didn't want to fall short.I prayed and prayed real hard.After I was finished,I felt much stronger and also,I knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me the strength that I asked for.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue in prayer for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I am really struggling right now and I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also ask that you please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your encouraging words and prayers do help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle that gets difficult by the day.I also need my determination to overcome this terrible SSA strengthened each and every day.I also need my motivation strengthened to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA as both your prayers and encouraging help strengthen also.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,before doing anything,I got a call from the job placement counselor.He asked me if I could be ready by a certain time so we could go to a local nursing home for an interview and I said sure.After hanging up,I jumped into the shower to clean up.After the shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I checked on my e-mail for only a few minutes and after that,I got dressed up and eagerly awaited for the job placement counselor to pick me up to take me to the nursing home.
When we got to the nursing home,I learned that it really wasn't an interview in the true sense.It was to fill out an employment application and hand it over to the person who conducts the interviews and they informed me that they should be contacting me in a few days.After that,the job placement counselor advised me to continue putting in more applications online in the meantime as he was dropping me off at home.I told him that I would and he dropped me off.
When I got back into the house,I got out of the dress clothes and into a pair of lounge pants.I did my personal PC work and I had a light lunch.I also got dressed in my normal casual clothes to proceed with the rest of the day.
I dropped off some newspapers at a few friend's houses and after that,I headed over to a local supermarket to turn in some cans and bottles that were in the back seat of my car.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put in a few more applications online and I relaxed and took it easy for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father in prayer as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in sustaining me and keeping me on a calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours twice when I was awakened by erections at two separate intervals.On both occasions,I turned the opposite way that I was laying down in bed and the erections softened after I did that.I went right back to sleep after that.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.I was also tempted to "near masturbate" to these things as well.I kept up in prayer to my Heavenly Father all through the day as these temptations kept coming at me from all sides.I prayed to my Heavenly Father for strength to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I asked for strength to fight and resist these urges.I felt stronger and much more in control after praying.I also knew and believed that my Heavenly Father gave me everything that I asked for and I felt it all over my heart and mind.Though I have been doing that,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am going through this very stressful and difficult emotional time.I also ask that you please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rare.I need both prayers and positive verbal encouragement.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help strengthen my determination to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA.They also motivate to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with daily.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my Thursday morning spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning to eagerly await a phone call that I was waiting for from the job placement counselor at the job placement agency.When I did get the phone call,it wasn't what I was hoping for.I was hoping that he had set up an interview at a nursing home in the community that I lived in,but told me that he is postponing this because a tragedy happened in his family that he had to attend to.After hanging up,I was disappointed.I was hoping that the ball would start to roll for me,but this unexpected news happened.I know and understand that this is only human nature and that it can't be helped when an unexpected tragedy happens.It was still pretty disappointing.He said that he would set it up by next week and I simply said okay.I am hoping that the openings for cleaners at that local nursing home are still open by next week.After that,I hit the showers and I when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple if things planned for today.I had to drop something off at a friends place of business.Before that,I dropped my laundry off at my niece's house.After that was done,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After paying for it,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a bit and did some cleaning up around the house.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it;s accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle as a burden to my Heavenly Father in prayer.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.I ask him for strength to help me endure and both he and his son Christ Jesus both help in sustaining me.They also help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up for a while and I proceeded to get up out of bed.This actually made the erection start to soften.When my genitals were fully soft,I went right back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to act out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have.I was tempted to lust and fantasize with other men as sexual images of men kept clouding my mind throughout the day.I didn't want to fall short as I did last week.I prayed to my Heavenly Father and asked him for strength.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep me strong.I also asked him for the strength to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges that were coming at me from all sides.These urges can be very overwhelming and I never know how strong that they can be most of the time.After praying,I felt better and much stronger.I knew and truly believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me the strength that I asked for.I am also again asking that all of you who follow my blog to please continue praying for me as I am going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Prayers and emotional encouragement are both strong weapons in the SSA struggle and they both help out in immeasurable ways.Their power is both strong and immeasurable.Please continue in prayer for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.As I have said before and I will say again,both your prayers and your positive emotional verbal encouragement help keep me going in this fight and they make me even more determined to continue in overcoming this terrible SSA.They also motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA that I struggle with.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ ffor everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work,had lunch,and got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.I had a few things planned.Before leaving the house,I had a talk with the job placement counselor from the job placement agency and he said that he was going to set up an opportunity with a local nursing home for a possible interview and hopefully a job.He said that he would be in tough with me tomorrow morning.After the phone call,I left the house and proceeded what I needed to get done accomplished.
I first went to get my resume copied and after that,I headed for a local Family Video store to bring back a couple of problem DVD's that I had bought a little over a week ago.There were not working right as I played them and I wanted to be what could be done.After working it out with them,I headed over to a nearby hair place to get my hair cut.After that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local store to pick up a box of allergy pills.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at other times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle as a burden on my Heavenly Father and I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help get me through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in both sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a normal level plain.I am not alone here in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I simply sat up and proceeded to get up out of bed.This made the erection start to soften and after a while of walking around a bit,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies of other men and also,to "near masturbate" to these images that were clouding my mind.I prayed to my Heavenly Father as these temptations kept coming at me from all sides and I asked him for strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and after I was finished,I both truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father heard me and gave me what I asked for.I also felt stronger every time I finished praying.Though I am doing that,I am again asking that all of you followers of my blog to please continue praying for as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Please keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some encouraging words in the comments section.They,your prayers and positive verbal encouragement,both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help keep my determination to overcome this terrible SSA strong.They also motivate me to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continuous prayers and positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

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Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
When I went out,I stopped a few yard sales to look around and after that,I headed out to see how a friend of mine was doing.
On the way there,I stopped by a Salvation Army thrift store and bought a few things.After that,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a car wash to check and see if they had any cans and bottles to be collected.I found a few and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a bit and did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did a little bit more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not only sustaining me,but also,they help keep me on a calmer and level plain.It shows that I am never alone in this particular psychiatric double whammy struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I sat up and since I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,I headed for there.My genitals started to soften as I headed for there and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Thought I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies with other men.I kept busy throughout the day to get my mind off of sexual stuff.I was out for much of the day and I kept busy with other pursuits.It kept my mind off of the lusts and the cravings of sexual things and I did feel better as a result.I had a pretty good day just being out in the community and doing things that kept my mind on positive things.While the day went by pretty well,I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follow my blog and read the posts.Please continue in prayer for me.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I value any positive verbal encouragement.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going.They help me in keeping my determination to overcome this terrible SSA strong.They also motivate me to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have no other plans.But I hoped that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and after a few early morning phone calls,I showered quickly and after my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I first went to the bank to withdraw some money to pay a bill at a local supermarket.Before the payment was made,I headed back home to register the bills at the Where's George site and after that,I headed back out to pay the bill at a local supermarket.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did some more personal PC work while doing so.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden and I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure the negative effects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not only sustaining me,but also,they help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when an erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I started to get up out of bed and that is what made my genitals start to soften.After staying up for a period of time,I went right back to bed and to sleep once my genitals were fully soft.Though I escaped this particular episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies of other men.I was also tempted to "near masturbate" with them as well.I chose to stay busy throughout the day as I went through the day.I stayed outside and also kept my fingers busy.I also cleaned up a little bit around the house and tried to keep things orderly.This took my mind off of anything sexual with other men.I also even managed to do some praying as well.I prayed to him in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to help me fight and resist these urges that were coming at me from all sides and after that,I felt much stronger and also,I knew and believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I asked for.I am also again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read the posts here to please continue in prayer for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rare.Please leave me an encouraging word or two.You never know how good both of these can do.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going and also,they strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and they also motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
After a phone call from my job placement counselor,I headed over to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,which went great.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and also got some free food at the same time.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did a little bit more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to get me through all the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I have and they both help in keeping me sustained and also,they help keep me on a calmer and level plain.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I fell again into temptation early this morning by masturbating and while it was mostly emotional,there was a little lusting and fantasy involved as well.I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I really poured out my soul to them.I felt much better and I went on with the rest of the day.I am really being tempted and the temptations keep coming at me from all sides.I really need to learn some more self control when it comes to this particular area of my SSA struggle.I really also need to be really tough on myself and really work on trying to be stronger than the urges that keep coming at me.I am again asking that all of my fellow followers who continually follow my blog and read the posts to please continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I am still going through a difficult emotional time at the moment and I am still in need of prayers and encouraging words.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also keep my determination to overcome this terrible SSA strong and also,they motivate me to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first dropped off my turntable at a friend's place of business and after that,I headed over to the post office to buy a money order so my car insurance could be paid.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I called DirecTV to pay my bill for them.After that,I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that does make my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father by throwing it on him as a burden.I ask him in the name of his Jesus Christ to help get me through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with and they both help in keep me sustained and also,on a much calmer and level plain.I am never alone in this particular psychiatric disorder that I have and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks in advance to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and that is what made my genitals start to soften.I didn't lay back down and go back to sleep until my genitals were fully soft.Though I did escape this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in masturbation,though it was mostly on an emotional level today rather than sexual,though lustful thoughts and sexual fantasies can be a contributor to why I fall into masturbation at some times.I simply turned to my Heavenly Father and I asked him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to give me the strength to fight and resist the urge to masturbate.I have to continually keep in mind that masturbation,though not specifically discussed nor mentioned in the Holy Bible,is still an unclean,dirty and impure habit.Masturbation is usually tied to lusting and fantasies of a sexual nature and it also involves self stimulation without paying the price of committing a sinful act that is connected with anything having to do with sexual matters or activity.Again,I asked my Heavenly Father to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges to masturbate and after each prayer,I felt much stronger and also,I truly knew and believed that my Heavenly Father gave me what I had asked for.I felt stronger and also,more at ease.I am again asking that all of you continue in prayer for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time right now.Please continue praying for me.I also ask that none of you followers of my blog be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both your prayers and your encouraging words.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help keep my determination to overcome this terrible SSA strong.They also motivate me to continue in my healing journey to to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected to the terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and before showering,I had a talk with the job placement counselor from the job placement agency to inform him of my placing four more applications online.He also informed me that he will be e-mailing my resume to temp agencies and see where that will lead.After talking with him,I showered quickly.After the shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to finish up my grocery shopping and after that was done,I stopped at a local McDonald's to have myself a vanilla ice cream cone.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I started to do some much needed cleaning up around the house.After that was done,I relaxed for a while before doing some more personal PC work.I also watched a DVD that I put into the DVD player.
After eating,I had to make a quick errand again before settling in for the night.When I got home,I relaxed and did some last minute personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way to overwhelming for me to handle.I simply take this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ's name to get me through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not only sustaining me,but they also help keep me on a calmer and much more level plain.I feel a little bit better knowing that they are getting me through all of this.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by another erection,though it didn't last very long.I sat up and since I had to use the bathroom,I headed for the bathroom and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft.I went back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted,though again,minimally,to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men.I simply kept busy with what I had to get done and I got through the day unscathed for once.I was out of the house for much of the day and being out of the house did help take my mind off of sexual stuff.Though I did get through with nothing to be sorry about,I am still in need of prayers by all of you who follow my blog and read the posts.Please continue in prayer for me.I also ask that you leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayers and encouraging words desperately.They both help keep me going in this particular struggle and they also help strengthen my determination to overcome this terrible SSA.They also motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your positive encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of paying a coupe of bills,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,before jumping in the shower to clean up,I got the phone call that I expected regarding the job that I was interviewed for Friday and they told me that they didn't the much needed stuff,like contracts and other things,so the job can be started.After that phone call,I called the job placement counselor to share the bad news and he advised me to keep logging onto websites where I can fill applications for employment online and I managed to fill out four applications online today.I also called the guy who called me this morning and I told him that I still want to get started working and I really want to work and he said that it was great and we hung up.After that,I showered and had my quick breakfast alongside my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,though it took me a while,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed as I had a couple of things that I had to do.
I first went to the post office to mail something out.After that,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I picked up you another job application from a local restaurant and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put what I had bought in the refrigerator and I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a one day at a time basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply bring this particular struggle to my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help get me through the negatives of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with and they both help in sustaining me.They also help keep me on a more calm and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and it does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by an erection.I sat up and proceeded to get up out of bed.I walked around for a while and this is what made my genitals get softened.When my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and to sleep.I was tempted,but minimally,throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting of other men.This time,I went right to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges as they were coming at me from all sides.I did feel better after that and also,I felt much stronger and I truly knew and believed that he gave me what I asked for.Though I did that today and will try to continue it every day,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I am also asking that all of you followers to please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words do help me in many ways.They both help keep my determination to over this terrible SSA strong.They also motivate me to continue in my healing journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have are connected with the terrible SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ