Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning,though I did oversleep a little,and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had only my usual 2 cups of coffee as I had no time to sit down and eat breakfast.I only overslept because I had a very difficult time trying to get to sleep last night.I got dressed real quickly and I headed over to the Men's Network meeting.I was running late today and I managed to make it there,though I was late.
The meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I saw that it was starting to rain.I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a sweatsuit and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I decided to lay down and take a nap because I was still feeling drowsy from last night as a result of my difficulty of trying to get to sleep last night.I slept for an hour and half and after my nap,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I decided to pop a movie into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I decided to watch a little bit of TV and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle against the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I am also still struggling with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have alongside the BPD.Lately,I have been having the feelings of not knowing whether I have been coming or going.I have also been having some pretty scary and very terrible nightmares.I have been having bad dreams of me jumping off a bridge into water to drown myself and these nightmares have been waking me up out of a deep sleep constantly.These bad dreams have been happening to me pretty much and I really don't know why I have been having them.I have been tossing and turning whenever these terrible dreams have been coming.I wake up out of a deep sleep gasping.In reality,I have no plans to kill myself nor have I been thinking about killing myself.These dreams have been happening and it is the first time in four years that I have been having these sorts of terrible dreams.Four years ago,I had nightmares of hanging myself in a abandoned place out in the countryside.Now,they have me jumping off of a bridge into a body of water.I am hoping that these dreams stop soon.During the mid afternoon,I prayed to my Heavenly Father and I really talked about everything that has been happening.I also talked about my struggles with the terrible SSA that I have been struggling with for most of my life.I left nothing out.I poured my soul out to my Heavenly Father.I asked him for strength to help me endure through all of this negativity in regards to both my BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA struggles.I left nothing out and I kept up praying until I felt better.I felt more relieved and felt like a giant weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.I also asked for forgiveness of my sins that I have committed and asked for his help to help me through all of these terrible negative affects of my struggles with the psychiatric double whammy that I have and the SSA struggles that I have.I felt relieved and much more at ease.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.I also thank them both for listening to me and hearing me.I feel a little bit better and it does give me a pretty good feeling.
To all my fellow blog followers,I am again asking that all of you continue in praying for me.I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also ask that y'all who follow my blog and read my posts to please leave me some encouraging words.Don't be shy if you come to visit.I need both prayerful and positive and encouraging verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.
Tomorrow,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I didn't have too much today.I went to a local supermarket to pick up a few things and after that,I got some gas in my tank and I also bought a few things at other places.I also managed to get a replacement band for my wrist watch.After all of these things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away.I also started to prepare my evening meal.While eating,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw this struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I ask for strength to help me endure through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I have.They both help in sustaining me and also make me feel much calmer and more at ease.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I fell again for the second consecutive time.I masturbated early this morning and yes,sexual images of men did cloud my mind.I gave into this terrible unclean,dirty and disgusting habit.I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning and I also begged and pleaded for his mercy on me as I prayed because I was really sorry for giving into this terrible temptation.I was sad and disillusioned as a result of my falling into sin this morning.I prayed and prayed and I did feel better after doing so.Fellow blog followers,I am again asking that y'all continue to pray for me.Yes,I am.I need your prayers desperately.I am really sick of this terrible SSA struggle.I am not going to give up,but I do need prayers and also,I need some words of positive encouragement as I am going through a very difficult emotional time.I hate it that I have these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with this terrible SSA.I hate everything connected to this terrible SSA.Please fellow blog followers,I am asking that y'all continue praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.I need both of these things desperately.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I don't want to feel alone in this particular struggle.I know that I am not alone in this as I know that there are other men who also struggle with SSA.I feel all alone when I don't get any encouraging words in the comments section.Please leave me something encouraging and also,prayers are also appreciated.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of a Men's Network meeting tomorrow and church as usual on Sunday,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work.
Today,I was hoping to go to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group,but I had a terrible stomach-ache and after finishing my personal PC work in the morning,I laid down for a while after taking some Rolaids for it.
Fortunately,I was actually feeling better after my nap and I proceeded to get ready for the afternoon Halloween party.I got dressed and I headed for there.
The party was wonderful.After some fun there and when it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put my pajamas on and watched a few Halloween cartoons.I stayed home for the rest of the evening.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at other times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I throw this struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I also ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to help me endure through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help me in keeping me sustained and much more at ease.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation early this morning by masturbating.Yes,I did.I really felt miserable after giving into this terrible temptation.After washing my hands,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for falling short.I asked him for forgiveness for my sins.I was really sorry for what I did.After I was finished praying,I did feel a lot better after doing so.I truly believed and knew that I was forgiven and that made me feel a little better.The thing about this SSA struggle is that it is a very difficult and complicated struggle.Personally,as far as I am concerned,I really hate that I struggle with this.I hate everything having to do with this struggle.I hate everything connected with this struggle.I hate these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this struggle.I also hate the addictions that are connected with this struggle.I also hate falling when temptation sets in.I also hate that the mainstream media makes Homosexuality an acceptable,natural and normal thing,when in reality,it isn't acceptable nor is it natural or even normal.I really want to heal from this terrible condition that I struggle with.I really do want to heal.I am again appealing to my fellow blog followers and fellow men who also struggle with SSA.I am appealing that all of you please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I have been really feeling at edge as of late and I really don't know why.Please pray for me.I also ask that all of you who follow and/or visit my blog to please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your continued positive verbal support desperately.After this current fall,I really need some prayer and positive verbal encouragement.Both your prayers and your continued positive verbal support both help keep me going in this fight and struggle.They also strengthen both my determination and motivation.The thing is that I don't want to feel like I am all alone here.When comments of any kind are not left,I feel alone.I get many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.Please pray for me and also,don't be afraid to leave any positive verbal encouragement.I need both of these desperately.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.I also thank my Heavenly Father for his precious gift of forgiveness.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda for today.
I didn't have too much to do today.I simply ran a few errands and I also ate a local Burger King during lunchtime.I simply dropped a few newspapers off at a few people's houses and after that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I popped another DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.I relaxed for the rest of the evening.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him for strength to help me endure through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.I ask him for this in the name of his son Jesus Christ.They both help in keeping me sustained,but also,on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,though it didn't last long.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom.I got out of bed and I headed for the bathroom,which made my genitals soften.When I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in sinful lusting and fantasizing of other men and I was also tempted to "near masturbate" alongside this.I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist these urges as these urges can be very overwhelming at times and today was no exception.Fortunately,I managed to escape and that was good.Though I escaped today unscathed,I am again asking that all of you continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that y'all who continually follow my blog and read the posts to please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.They both help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any type of comments.Please leave me something encouraging and also,please keep praying for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I had my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and I am also going to a Halloween party at a church in my area.I am hoping that both are wonderful.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
Today,I ran a few more errands.I went to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After that,I went over to a local McDonald's to have a couple of sandwiches for lunch.After that,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something that I needed.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff away and prepared my evening meal.When it was finished,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it while eating.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden and ask him for strength to help me endure through the negatives.I ask him for this strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.They both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a much calmer plain as well as more at ease.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,though it didn't last very long.I sat up and I sensed that I had to use the bathroom.I headed for the bathroom and that made my genitals soften.My genitals were fully soft when I was finished and I went right back to bed and to sleep.I was tempted,though minimally,throughout the day to indulge in sinful fantasies and lusting after other men.I stayed outside for much of the day and by being out in the community,it took my mind off of anything sexual with other men.I was out for much of the day and that kept me occupied.It is wonderful being out in public and by being out and about,I had really kept my mind on the tasks at hand and that was pretty good.I am again asking that all of you continue to pray for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I need both prayers and some positive verbal encouragement.Please leave me some encouraging words in the comments section.They both help keep me going.They also keep both my determination and motivation strong.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a few things on my agenda for today.I went to a local supermarket to turn in bags full of empty bottles and cans that were in my car.I had to make room for other things.After collecting the money for turning them in,I headed for home to register all the bills and after that,I headed over to a nearby McDonald's to have a couple of sandwiches to tie me over until dinner.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it while relaxing.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that made my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me endure through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in keeping me sustained and also much calmer and more at ease.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,but it didn't last very long.I sat up and proceeded to get up out of bed,which made my genitals soften.I got up and walked a little and when my genitals were fully soft,I went right back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted,though minimally,to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.Today,I stayed out in the community and that took my mind off of anything sexual with men.I stayed out and did what I had to do and that kept my mind off of anything sexual.It was very good to be out and getting some air and staying busy.Though I escaped today,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please keep on praying for me.I am also asking that all of you please leave me an encouraging word of two in the comments section.I need both badly and desperately.Your prayers and your continues positive verbal encouragement both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up real quickly and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into a warm sweatsuit.I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed and headed over to someone's place for a little get together.
I had fun with this person.We ate,had some laughs and talked about a lot of things.After it was all over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and put my pajamas on.I also popped a movie into the DVD player and watched it.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at other times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw this struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ for strength to help me endure through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I have.They both help in keeping me sustained,but also much calmer and a little more at ease.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and I decided to walk a little bit around the house.This made my genitals soften.Though it was slow going,my genitals had fully softened after a while and I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in sinful lusting and fantasizing of other men.The temptations were overwhelming.Today,I simply stayed busy doing what I was doing.I spent time with someone at their place.I had a wonderful time and that was great.It took my mind off of anything sexual with other men.Though I escaped today unscathed,I am again asking that y'all who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also need some positive verbal encouragement.They both help keep me going.They also help keep my determination and motivation strong.Please pray for me and also,please leave some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work.
Today,I was hoping to get out and do a few things,but the weather kept me at home.Today,the weather was rainy,windy and chilly.I simply put a warm sweat suit on and I relaxed for much of the day.I also put a couple of job applications in online and after that,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I relaxed a bit.Since there was nothing to do today as a result of the weather,I just stayed home and made the best out of it.I popped some popcorn and I relaxed while watching the movie.When that was over,I popped another movie in and relaxed while watching that as well.
After eating,I decided to watch a little TV and did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him for strength to help me endure through the negatives of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.It is a very difficult and challenging struggle that I have and it never gets any easier.Both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ help in sustaining me and also,I feel much calmer and at ease with them at the helm getting me through.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel only a little bit better as I still have to deal with the negative effects of this psychiatric double whammy nonetheless,but my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ make me feel more at ease and much calmer.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I sat up for a while and proceeded to get out of bed.I still had a throbbing erection upon rising,so I decided to get off the bed and walk for a little while in the house.Though it was slow going,this made the erection soften.When my genitals were fully soft,I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in sinful lusting and fantasizing of other men.Today,since I stuck at home as a result of the rain and the winds,I was tempted to indulge in sinful lusting and fantasizing of other men.This was because sexual images of men were trying to cloud my mind.I had to really work on myself to rid myself of these terrible images.I went right to my Heavenly Father and I prayed real hard.I asked him for strength to fight and resist these overwhelming urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and after I was finished praying,I felt stronger and the images and the urges disappeared.I am also asking that y'all who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up praying for me and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.I need both of these things to help me through all of this as I am still going through a very difficult emotional period.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual.I have made no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues unabated.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I got out of bed in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned for today.
Today,I got around to cleaning the back seat of my car out of all the bottles and cans that had accumulated in the back seat of my car over the last several weeks.I bagged them all and after that was done,I proceeded to take them to a local supermarket to turn them in for the money as I did need money at the moment.It took quite a while,but I managed to get them all turned in and after getting the money,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the money that I had gotten from the refund at the Where's George site.After that,I headed back out again to get a few things that I needed at a local supermarket.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a movie into the DVD player and I watched it.
After eating,I watched another movie and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues unabated,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have to deal with the symptoms of schizophrenia alongside the BPD symptoms.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I throw it on my Heavenly Father and I ask him for strength to me endure through the negatives.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ for this strength.They both help in keeping me sustained and much more at ease.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I also had to get up because my head was hurting as well.I got out of bed and I headed for the kitchen.Though it was very slow going,the erection started to soften.After taking something for my headache,I sensed that I had to use the bathroom and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft.I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted,though minimally,to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.Yes,I was tempted to indulge in those things.But today,I managed to stay out in the community and that took my mind off of anything sexual with men.I simply stayed out and did what I had to do and that took my mind off of anything sexual.Though I escaped today unscathed,I am still asking that all of you continue praying for me.I also needs words of positive encouragement alongside your prayers.They both help out in many ways.They help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.I need some positive words of encouragement.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any form of comments.Please leave me some positive verbal encouragement.I truly need that and also,as always,your prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
Today,I had my usual Thursday morning spirituality group.I headed over there with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after that,I dropped a friend off at home before heading to my own home.
On the way home,I stopped at a couple of local Dollar Tree stores to pick up a couple of things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my clothes and into a home suit.After that,I did some more personal PC work before relaxing while watching a movie that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I got dressed again and decided to head for an evening Holy Bible study class,which was at the same place as last week.
That class went great and after it was over,I headed straight and when I got there,I changed into my pajamas and relaxed until it was time for bed.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.The struggle with BPD is never an easy thing to deal with.My Moods and/or emotions fluctuate constantly by the day,or at other times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggle even more difficult to deal with.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggles seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I throw it on my Heavenly Father in prayer as a burden.I ask him for strength to help me endure through the negatives in the name of his son Jesus Christ.They both help in not only sustaining me,but I also feel more at ease and much calmer.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.At this point,I sensed that I had to really use the bathroom,so I headed for there and though it was slow going,the erection started to soften and when I was finished,my genitals returned to full softness and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men,but today,I was out for much of the day and that took my mind off of anything sexual with other men.I had my bible study group today and that took my mind off of these things.I also was out in the community for a while after that and that kept my mind clean and focused on other things.Though I escaped today unscathed,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please keep up in prayer for me as I am still going through a very rough and difficult emotional time.I also ask that all of you please leave me some positive verbal encouragement.I need both prayers and positive verbal encouragement.They both help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.They also show that I am not alone in this particular struggle.I desperately need both prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair to good today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only a couple of things to do today.
Today was a very rainy day and very chilly.I simply went out to do a couple of things that I needed to do.I first went over to my sister's house to pick up something that she had for me.After that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed for home.
On the way home,I was hoping to stop at a friends place to see how they were doing,but the storm clouds were getting worse and I headed straight home instead.It was a good thing that I decided to do just that because it did get worse.It actually started to hail and I was glad to get home before it got worse.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed and popped a movie into the DVD player and I watched it.
After eating,I also decided to pop another movie into the DVD player and I watched it.Overall,a pretty fair to good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.At times,the symptoms of BPD can really be stressful to deal with.The ups and downs of this emotional roller coaster ride can really stress a person out emotionally.At times,it really makes me feel down and at times,tired both physically and emotionally.Aside from the symptoms of BPD,I also have to deal and endure with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that makes my struggles with BPD even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.Whenever this particular struggle tries to really get me down and emotionally stress me out,I go to my Heavenly Father,throw this struggle on him as a burden and ask him for strength to help me endure through the negative affects in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I pray real hard and I ask him to get me through it all as the struggle of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I have can be very difficult.They both help in sustaining me and also,help make me feel more at ease.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me again during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.This was also a throbbing one at that.I immediately got out of bed and started to walk around.Though it was slow going,the erection softened as I was up and about in the house.I didn't go back to bed until my genitals were fully soft.I went right back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode and since I didn't get out much due to the day being rainy,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in sinful sexual fantasies and lusting of other men.I really had to fight these urges as they were coming at me from all sides.I was also tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I simply and willfully chose to stay home rather than give into that particular urge.As I said,the SSA struggle is a very complicated and difficult one indeed.I am always fighting the urge to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and it never gets any easier.Fortunately for me,I didn't fall,but there is always tomorrow and the day after that and so on.I tried to stay busy with other things around the house,but still,the urges kept coming and at times,they can be very overwhelming.Though I have been praying when these urges come,I also need prayers continuously from all of my fellow blog followers and readers.I also need some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.Please leave me some words of encouragement in the comments section as I really need both of these desperately.Prayers and positive verbal encouragement are very powerful positive and holy weapons and they do work in many ways.They help keep me going.They also help keep me strong and also,make me more determined and motivated to continue on and continue to see the light at the end of the tunnel.They also give me hope and assurance.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and an evening bible study,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I didn't have too much to do today.Before leaving the house,I registered some dollar bills at the Where's George site and after that,I finally got around to folding all of my laundry and filled the bag with dirty laundry to drop off at my niece's house.After all of that was done,I headed out to do what I had to do.
I first went to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After that,I headed out to the drug store to pick up my prescription that I had filled today.After that,I went to visit with a friend to see how he was doing.After a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my clothes and into my home suit.I also popped a DVD in the DVD player and I watched it while relaxing.Before doing that,I put a couple more applications for work online.
After eating,I popped another DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and the emotional roller coaster ride that is part of the territory of having BPD.My moods and/or emotions fluctuate by the day,or at other times,from the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult to handle.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I throw this struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him for strength to help me endure through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.I ask him for this strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.They both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me much calmer and more at ease.I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.This time,it was a throbbing one and I really had to use all of my strength to fight and resist this urge.I was also fighting sexual images of men clouding my mind at the same time.I immediately got out of bed and I headed for the bathroom and I hurried to get there.While I was on my way there,though it was slow going this time,my genitals were starting to soften.I did have to use the bathroom badly this time also and my genitals were fully soft after I was finished.I went right back to bed and subsequently back to sleep.I am learning day after day that we men who struggle with SSA lead a very complicated and very difficult life.It is really difficult fighting the urges to masturbate to sexual images of men and also,to fight the urge of going out and seeking out men to act out sexually with,which is my main problem urge.I face these urges day in and day out.It is very difficult to fight and resist them.It is a lot easier to give into these temptations than it is to fight and resist them.Even when you give these urges over to the sovereign Lord and creator of all,our Heavenly Father,and to his son Jesus Christ,it is still difficult to fight and resist these urges.I am always at war with these urges to give into sexual sin.I am glad that my Heavenly Father is there to help me when I need him.I am also glad that his only begotten son Jesus Christ is also there to help him alongside.Why?Because at John 14:6 Jesus Christ explains that we can only to his father through him now and there is no other mediator between his father and we humans here on Earth.It is great that we SSA men who worship the Father through his son Jesus Christ don't have to struggle alone against this terrible monster known as SSA.SSA does nothing to enhance the lives of those,in particular men since I am a man,who struggle with it.The only thing that it does is lead men to live very destructive sexual lives by indulging in the terrible sexual sins that it tempts men to commit,which is the sexual activity between two members of the same gender,which is forbidden by our Heavenly Father through his sacred word,the Holy Bible.It is tough to fight and resist these terrible urges and without the help of our Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ,fighting and resisting these terrible urges is impossible.Fellow blog followers and visitors,I ask that y'all please continue to pray for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me some positive words of encouragement.I get a lot of visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments of any kind.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support.The power of prayer and positive verbal encouragement does help in more ways than one and the positive power and energy that they produce is immeasurable,which is why I keep asking for them.Prayers and positive verbal support both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help strengthen both my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and my motivation to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have(note that I still continue to say "these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have" as I willfully and seriously refuse to let these particular desires define who I am and how I will act or be)that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and proceeded to head over to a local kitchen in my hometown for free food day.When I arrived there,I was given a number and waited for a while to sign in.After signing in,I headed out to get my free food.I also got a bag lunch as a bonus.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up another gallon of milk.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the food away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I headed out to do some more running and after I was finished,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while.While doing that,I prepared my evening meal and while and after eating,I popped a movie into the DVD player and watched it.I also watched another one after that.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be.They are always on an up and down scale.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,my struggle is even more tougher as a result of the schizophrenic tendencies that I have alongside the BPD.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to help me endure through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I have.They both help in sustaining me and also keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for all that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last long.I sat up and I headed for the bathroom and that made the erection soften.When I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted,though minimally,throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.Today,it wasn't too big a deal.I stayed out in the community and kept busy just doing what I was doing and that took my mind off of anything sexual with other men.I stayed out and about and that took my mind off of the sexual stuff.It was great not to have a problem by simply staying out and staying busy.While I escaped today unscathed,I am again asking that all of you please ease continue praying for me.I am still going through a very difficult emotional time and I really need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also need some positive verbal encouragement as well in the comments section.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also strengthen both my determination and motivation in this particular struggle.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.Please pray for me and also,don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit real quickly and I headed for the church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.I also did another reading from the Holy Bible in front of the congregation this morning.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my home suit.I did my personal PC work and when that was done,I got dressed and went out to run some errands that I had to run.After they were done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.
After eating,I popped another DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.I also relaxed the rest of the evening.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday always the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him for strength to help me endure through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I have.They both help in keeping me sustained,but also on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection,though it didn't last very long.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,so I got up out of bed and headed for there.As I did,my genitals started to soften.When I was finished,my genitals were fully softened and I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men,but I stayed out for a while.I ran my errands and that took my mind off of anything sexual with men.I simply stayed busy and I didn't stop doing what I was doing.Though I escaped unscathed today,I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.They both help keep me going and also,they help keep my determination and motivation strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,as a change of pace,I am reflecting on the loss of a friend and fellow graduating classmate who died a few days ago.His funeral was today and I want to reflect today on the loss.
I have known this person from elementary school on up.We met at an elementary school that I transferred to and that was close to home years ago.We met and became friends that instant.
We went through all the way to high school and we both graduated together in the very same class.Him and I used to run into each other out in the community and when we did,we talked about a lot of things.We would talk and usually lose track of time and we would part ways and hope to run into each other again.
Today,I decided to visit at the funeral home and pay my respects and say my last goodbye to him.I talked with a few of his relatives and other people that I didn't know before until now.I talked with them for a little over half an hour and after leaving,I made a couple of stops before heading straight home.
When I got home,I changed out of my dress clothes and into my home suit.I then decided to pop a DVD in the DVD player and watch it while relaxing.
I am still feeling the sadness of the loss and I know that forever,I will always be feeling his absence.It is sad that I will no longer run into him out in the community ever again.I am going to miss those long talks that we had where we lost track of time and had to prat when we realized how late it was.Those times were fun.I am going to miss all of these things and I will always be wishing that he was still with us day after day,month after month and year after year.I will never hear his voice again and I will never see him again.I bid him a very fond and memorable farewell.Rest in peace my dear friend and fellow graduating classmate.You will always be sadly missed each and every day.
Tomorrow,I have church as usual.I am going to be doing another reading from the Holy Bible in front of the congregation tomorrow morning.I am hoping that my reading will go good and everybody in the congregation benefits from it.
As a result of the passing of one of my dear friends and graduating classmates,I am not going to discuss my BPD/Schizophrenia or my SSA struggles today.I will start over again in regards to those things tomorrow.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I really didn't have too much to do today.I simply ran a few errands that I needed to run.I was out of the house for much of the day.The most important thing that I got done today was that I had my car inspected and with the exception of replacing a bulb where my license plate area was,my car passed with flying colors.After that was done,I did the aforementioned errands before heading straight home.
When I got home,I put some stuff that I bought away and I prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and relax.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky raod to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden and I ask him,in the name of his son Jesus Christ,to help me endure through the negative effects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in not only sustaining me,but also keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am going to be very blunt and open here.I again gave into temptation by masturbating.Yes,there was lusting and fantasizing of other men involved with this fall as well.After this,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me and I also begged for his mercy.I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ for these things.I did feel better and I moved on with the rest of the day.Fellow SSA strugglers who continually follow my blog and read my posts,I am again asking for prayerful and positive verbal support.I need both very desperately.I am sick of falling so much and I really want to heal from this terrible SSA.Please continue praying for me and please leave me some encouraging words in the comments section.I really felt miserable after this current fall.Please pray for me and please leave me some positive words of encouragement.They both help keep me going.I need them to also keep my determination and motivation strong.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave some encouraging words in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty so-so day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
Today,I received some shocking news.A friend of mine who graduated with me died suddenly yesterday.He was still a young man and his death came as a surprise to me.It did affect my day somewhat.I still went on with what I had planned for the day.
I first stopped at a local supermarket to pay a bill.After that,I headed for my usual Thursday morning spirituality group.
The group meeting was wonderful.After that,I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I decided to take part in a Holy Bible study that was at somebody else's place of residence,which was also wonderful.After that,I headed straight home to get ready to retire for the evening.Overall,a pretty so-so day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing with the symptoms of BPD and the schizophrenic tendencies that I have alongside the BPD.Today,the difficulty of dealing with this psychiatric double whammy got even more complicated with the death of my friend and fellow graduating classmate.My head and brain were really reeling.This coming Saturday is the funeral and I am thinking of going to it to pay my last respects to him.I am going to need some prayers to help get me through this.I just went through the one year anniversary of my mother's passing and now this happens.This death was a huge shock to me and I am hoping to get over the shock soon.I will still miss him and I will always feel and sense his absence.It will be a very difficult road ahead,but I know that I will get adjusted to the loss of a friend.Fellow blog followers,please pray for me and leave some encouraging words.I would really appreciate both of these things.Thanks very much in advance to all of you for all of your support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I actually gave into temptation late last night by masturbating.Yes,I did.There was also some lusting and fantasizing involved with this fall.Not only that,the effects of being alone living by myself also played a role in this current fall.Right after the fall,I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning.I asked for this in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I really felt terrible after this sin and I prayed hard and even asked for mercy because I really felt miserable for falling into sin by giving into this temptation.Fellow blog followers,please pray for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Please pray for me and also,please leave me a few encouraging words in the comments section.I need both your prayerful and your positive verbal support as well very desperately.The support that you give,both prayerful and positive verbal,helps keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to overcome this terrible SSA.They also motivate me to continues in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have really nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast.I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed quickly after that to proceed with the rest of the day.
Today,I had an appointment with my therapist and I was looking forward to that.I headed over there and I was on time.
The session with my therapist went well.After that was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I dropped off some stuff that I had to drop off and I headed back out as I had a few errands to run.
I first started to collect more cans and bottles and was hoping to get a few more in a few other places,but when I saw the sky,it looked like it might storm with a huge rainy downpour any minute.I reversed course and headed for a local supermarket to buy a couple of things that I needed.After that,I stopped at a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up a few more things.After paying for those,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and relaxed while watching it.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on My Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult for me to handle.I simply throw this particular struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me get through all the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me much calmer and level.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again temped to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up in bed and proceeded to get out to stretch my legs and within a few minutes,my genitals were fully soft.I went right back to bed and subsequently to sleep after that.Though I escaped this episode,I did give into a later temptation to "near masturbate",and there were sexual images of men clouding my mind while doing that,but I managed to stop myself and ask my Heavenly Father to forgive my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ.The SSA struggle is a very difficult one and I am learning that each and every day as the days pass by.The struggle gets even more difficult the more I keep resisting to act out in various ways,other than going out to seek another man for the purpose of acting out with him.I am still going through a very difficult emotional time right now and this struggle really intensifies when this is apparent.I am appealing to all of you who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me as I am going through this very difficult emotional time.I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also help strengthen both my determination to overcome SSA and my motivation to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and tomorrow evening,I am hoping to attend another Holy Bible study at somebody else's house.I have nothing else planned in between.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I didn't have too much planned for today.I simply decided to turn in a whole bunch of bottles and cans that I put into garbage bags at a local supermarket.After that was done,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart across the street to buy something that I needed.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed and popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I decided to a little bit more personal PC work and I simply relaxed for the rest of the evening.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.If having the ups and downs of BPD weren't bad enough,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I throw this struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I ask for strength to help me endure through the negative affects of this particular psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a little bit better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up and proceeded to get out of bed and that made the erection start to soften.I didn't lay back down until my genitals were fully soft.When they were,I laid back down and dozed off within a few seconds.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men.I stayed busy by being out in the community and that helped.By staying out and staying busy,it wasn't that bad today.It kept my mind off of anything sexual with men and that was great.While I escaped today unscathed,I am again asking for prayers from all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts.I still need prayers from all of you.I also ask that none of you be shy and leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also strengthen both my determination and my motivation to continue in overcoming and healing from this terrible SSA.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things planned.
I had only a few small errands to run.I first stopped at the local Salvation Army thrift store and bought a few things.After that,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up some personal hygiene products for myself.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart and picked up a gallon of milk.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the milk away in the fridge and put all my new personal hygiene products away.After that,I spent some time cleaning out my car of all the empty bottles and cans that accumulated in the back seat of my car.It took me a little over an hour,but I got it done.After that,I headed back in the house to wash my hands of all the work that I had done in cleaning up the back seat of my car and started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to pop a DVD into the player and I watched it.After that,I did some more personal PC work and laid down to read for a while.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too difficult to handle.I throw this struggle on my Heavenly Father as a burden.I ask him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to help me through the negative affects of this psychiatric double whammy that I struggle with.They both help in sustaining me and also,they help keep me on a much calmer and level plain.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that that do and provide.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate during the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I had to get up and use the bathroom,so I got out of bed and I headed for the bathroom,which made the erection soften.When I was finished,my genitals were back to full softness and I went right back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in fantasies and lusting after other men as sexual images of men clouded my mind.But today,since I again kept busy,it wasn't that bad.I stayed busy by being out in the community and simply doing what I had to do.I just stayed out in the community and simply did the necessary things that needed to get done.Though I escaped today unscathed,I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog to please continue in prayer for me as I still going through a very difficult emotional time.I am also asking that y'all leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also strengthen both my determination to overcome this terrible SSA and my motivation to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of turning in all of the bottles and cans at a local supermarket,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ