Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I reduced some of the personal PC work that I would do later on in the day.After that,I washed my hair over the faucet in the kitchen sink.I also shaved after washing my face.After that,I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I decided to relax and pop a movie in the DVD player to watch it.After that was over,I got dressed into my usual casual clothes and I went out to get myself a sandwich for dinner at a local Subway.
Before going to Subway,I went to a local supermarket to buy a gallon of milk.After paying for that,I bought my sandwich along with a bag of cool ranch tortilla chips and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I ate my sandwich and chips and decided to do a little bit more personal PC work.Later on,I decided to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
Fellow blog followers and readers,I am still trying to recover from all of the stressful situations that happened me during this past week.I am still feeling over the edge and I really can't talk about my struggles at this moment.The stress of the week was a little too much for me to handle and I really can't bare to talk right now in regards to where I am at in my struggles.All I ask from all of you is your patience as I try to get back to where I can be emotionally as right now,I really don't know if I am coming or going.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.I am really on edge right now as a result of the stress and strain that has been going on in my life this past week.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and after that was finished,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda for today.I first went to pick up my paycheck and after that,I decided to have lunch at a local restaurant that just opened up.After I was finished eating there,I headed back out to cash my paycheck and another check that I received a few days ago.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did some more personal PC work and after that,I popped a movie into the DVD player and I watched it.After that was over,I heated up some leftovers and ate them.
After eating,I decided to pop another movie into the DVD player and watch it.After that was over,I decided to do a little bit of cleaning up around the house and after that was done,I did a little bit more personal PC work.Later on,as it was getting late,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
As for my struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,I am still not up to par as of yet to share where I am at with these struggles that I have.I am still resting and relaxing and hoping to start healing and feeling more at ease in the next few to several days.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often as I am feeling overwhelmed by all the stress and strain that has been going on in my life that last two days.Please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of going to church as usual on Sunday,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the upcoming weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair,but also, very stressful day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual cups of coffee.After my coffee,I had to wash my hair over the sink and when that was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I went to my mechanic's garage for inspection and he told me that I needed two new tires for the front for it to pass.After that,I went to another local garage that sells used tires and I had them installed.After that,I headed straight home as I had to do a little bit of work at home before heading back to my mechanic's garage to get the new sticker for a year.When I had that done,I headed for home.
When I got home,I got yet another phone call as my phone had been ringing off the hook all of the day.It was a friend of mine who needed my help desperately.After hanging up,I headed out to help my friend.This was a disappointing thing.I was hoping to get around to doing some more much needed work around the house,but had to drop that to accommodate that friend of mine who needed help.It took me a little over half an hour and when I was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I started to prepare my evening meal when again,my phone rang again and it was my niece telling me that they were installing the new hot water tank and that also put a monkey wrench in my evening as I was hoping to have my evening meal and enjoy a movie,but again,I had to change everything to accommodate her and her kids alongside her live-in boyfriend so that could be done.I still had my evening meal,but I felt that my evening was ruined.After nearly and hour and a half,they all left and I had the rest of the evening to rest and take it easy.I am hoping that the next few days will be beneficial as I am going to need some rest from all the stress that have accumulated over the last couple of days.Overall,a pretty fair,but also very stressful day today,I still managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
I am feeling rather tired and somewhat stressed out as a result of the last two days.I will start sharing in regards to my struggles,such as where I am at and where I am hoping to get at,hopefully tomorrow.All I ask is that y'all continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks to all of you for your support.Thanks also to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair,but stressful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished showering,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first checked the work schedule to see if I was on there,but I wasn't.After that,I headed over to a local supermarket to turn in some bottles that were left for me.After that,I bought a few things from the supermarket and after that,I went to the bank to withdraw some much needed money.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I called my niece to explain a problem that I was having.My hot water heater tank sprung a leak and a representative from the city came over to shut the water off for the time being and left.I told her the problem and she and her live-in boyfriend came over.He fixed it a little and also advised not to use too much water unless necessary.I gave my niece part of the money to help towards getting the new one and they left.After she left,since it was too late to cook,I went out to pick up a take out meal from Wendy's and Taco Bell.I also bought a small bag of tortilla chips from a nearby 7-11.I headed straight home and I ate my meal.I also watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.When the movie was over,I did some more personal PC work.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Over the next several days,I have to start doing some more much cleaning up around the house as I have been putting it off for much too long.That is my resolution for the next several days.Since I am laid off,I need to start doing this or I will never get it done.Overall,a pretty,but stressful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
I will share where I am at in my struggles tomorrow as I am really tired from all the stress of the day and my medication is starting to kick in.Please continue to pray for me and also,please don't be afraid to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I will also work to keep up on my personal praying time as well.Thanks to all of you and Thanks also to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of having my car inspected tomorrow morning and hoping that it doesn't need any repairs to pass,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the late morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed out to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.After that was over,I started to reheat some leftovers.
After eating,I popped another DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.After that was done,I did some more personal PC work.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it does,I am still in my usual daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult struggle that I have.Today,I wasn't tempted to act out in any way,shape of form.I guess that by staying busy with what I had to do kept my mind off of the sexual stuff that is connected with the SSA struggle.though I escaped today unscathed,there is still tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.Satan and his minions can strike at any time.I still need to stay on guard and be watchful.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.Your support in both of these areas is still very important to me.I need to reaffirmed and reassured that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Your support also helps keep me going.Please continue to pray for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I washed my hair over the sink and after that,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly headed for the post office to mail out an important money order and I headed for home after that.
On the way home,I stopped at a local 7-11 to pick up a gallon of milk.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the milk away and I quickly did my personal PC work.After that,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.After that was over,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I popped another DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.This is the week before Halloween and I am watching the entire Halloween film series non-stop for the week.I will be watching these until the 2009 sequel to the 2007 re-imagining of the original 1978 film that started it all.I have a blast watching these films each and every year around this time.When the Halloween week comes,I will be watching a couple more Halloween related films alongside some TV specials that are also related.I also did some more personal PC work when the movie ended.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
In regards to my struggles,I am feeling rather tired tonight and can barely type anything as I am always correcting myself in terms of spelling mistakes.I will start informing all of you in regards to them tomorrow.In the meantime,please continue to keep me in your prayers and please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you and Thanks to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished showering,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.There was also a charity pasta lunch after that service and I had a nice plate of pasta and some wonderful fellowship with some or my fellow worshipers.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into a sweatsuit.I quickly did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed in casual clothes as I had some important stuff that I needed to do.
I first went to the Best Buy in the next county to pay a bill.After that,I made a few stops at a few stores.I had to pick up some things that I needed and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff away for tomorrow.I was hoping to have a nice dinner,but it was too late to start cooking.I went back out again to pick up some take-out food from a few local restaurants.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I sat down too eat my dinner and I also watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.I also did some more personal PC work.After that,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it does,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I wasn't tempted to act out in any way,shape or form.I stayed busy much of the day by doing my computer work and being out and about in the community.It kept my mind off of the sexual stuff connected with the SSA struggle.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is still tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.I have to continue to stay on guard and be watchful.Satan and his minions can strike at any time when least expected.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.Please continue keeping me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good and busy day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After my breakfast,I got dressed for work and I proceeded to head for work.
The work day went as well as expected.After it was all over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed for a while before showering quickly again.After that,I headed out to check out a sale that was in my area,but couldn't find anything that interested me.After that,I headed for a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of Hot Pockets to have with my dinner.After that,I went to check out a local mattress store to check out their mattress stock.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I quickly did my personal PC work and after that,I prepared a light evening meal.
After my light evening meal of a bowl of soup and the two Hot Pockets that I bought,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and watch it.After that was over,I did some more personal PC work.Later on,I prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a very good and busy day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult struggle that I have.Early this evening,I was tempted to indulge in fantasizing and lusting after other men,including imagining myself in sinful sexual activity with them.But this time,I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked him for the strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and didn't cease praying until the temptations died down.I prayed and I prayed and when I was finished,I felt better and much stronger.I am now going to make it my resolve to pray whenever temptations come around.I am also going to make it my resolve to start to try and pray frequently to him.I may need to ask for strength daily and often.I don't want to fall back into the trap of falling into sin and repenting.I also still have to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike again when least expected.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.Please continue to pray for me and again,I also would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual in the morning,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda for today.I first went to pick up my paycheck from work and after that,I headed out to the post office to mail out a money order.After that,I headed for a local supermarket to pick up a gallon of milk.After that,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something that I needed.After that,I got some gas at a local gas station.I also cashed my paycheck as well.After all of these things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put everything that I bought away and I enjoyed a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.After it was over,I did some more personal PC work.After that was done,I headed back out to get myself another sandwich from Subway.I headed straight home to eat it.When I was finished eating it,I relaxed as I wasn't feeling too well to go anywhere.My head was hurting me and I was also feeling some pains in my legs.I just laid down and read and prepared for my evening retirement as I had to get up early tomorrow morning and head for work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it continues to do so,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,with the latter being the most difficult struggle of the two.Tonight,I was at home much of the time as evening came.In the mid evening,I went into my room and I sat down on the edge of my bed.I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I first confessed sins to him that I committed today when I gave into temptation.After that,I unloaded all of the unresolved anger,resentment and trauma issues that were in my life and that contributed to why I was struggling with SSA and everything connected with it.It may also be the reason why I have been giving into these terrible temptations that have been overwhelming me as of late.Yes,temptations have been overwhelming me lately and they have been piling on me one after the other.I unloaded everything and asked him for strength to help me let go of all of these negative things and also to help me develop a very forgiving heart as well.My anger and resentment has been towards my father,my locally living sister,my other sister who lives out of town,the man that she was involved with who hurt her and myself physically,the bullies in school that called me names and constantly harassed me,the teachers and administrators that did nothing to stop the bullying by the bullies and inadvertently letting these bullies walk over them as if they,the bullies,were truly running the school and they were simply getting paid by the school district to simply sit down and do nothing to stop the bullying and the harassment.It was also towards those who sexual abused me for their pleasure,including the incidents that happened to me at 10 years of age and 16 years of age and all the other members of my own gender who used and abused me for their own pleasure.Last but not least,to the boys who chased me into the path of two cars that hit me when I was 17 years old.I also had anger and resentment towards the religious cult that I followed for two brief years,especially those who made up phony stories about me although I was innocent of the things that they said about me.I threw everything on my Heavenly Father and while doing so,tears did start to come out of my eyes,though it didn't lead to full blown crying.I prayed for I don't know how long as I wasn't concentrating on the time as I was.But when I was finished,I felt a lot better as again,I felt that a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.I also asked that my Heavenly Father help point me in the right direction to help me in letting go of these things so I can not only transcend,but also start finally discovering real healing and also,overcoming this terrible SSA.Last week,I did have a talk with my pastor about these things and he said that he would like for us to schedule a talk that we can have to discuss these things.We haven't set up anything yet,but I will be meeting with him Sunday morning to do so.I hope that this is a true start to transcending and finally,healing from and overcoming this terrible SSA.Also,I prayed that my Heavenly Father forgive me for not letting him in those times that I stumbled and fell and for not letting him in when I should have.I confessed that leaving him out and not letting him in was wrong and again,asked that he forgave me for that sin.I am now hoping that this is the true as well as a new and fresh start.I want to start transcending now and start the real process of healing from and overcoming this terrible SSA.Fellow blog followers and readers,I still need your prayerful support and your positive verbal support.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I would appreciate these things very much.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I will be working and earning a little bit of money.After that,I don't know what else I might do.But I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Possible Triggers here,

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.While having my second cup,I got a phone call from my job placement counselor/coach and she said that I had to come to the agency to fill out some paperwork so they can transfer my case to another agency.After washing my hair,face and shaving over the kitchen sink,I got dressed up in dress clothes and I headed for the job placement agency to fill out the paperwork.After filling it all out,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local former shopping mall parking lot as there was a contest by a local car dealership there.I won a gift card that can be redeemed at the local Super Wal-Mart.After that,I bought a bottle of dish detergent at a local supermarket.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,a DirecTV person was there to meet me to help me get my DirecTV service up and running again.It took a little over an hour,but it's finally up and running again.When the repair person was doing his work,I showered quickly and finally had my usual quick breakfast later than usual.After all the stuff was done,I quickly did my personal PC work.After that was done,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.After that,I headed out to run a few errands that needed to be run.After I was done running them,I stopped at a local church that was having a free dinner.After I was finished eating,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed from my casual clothes into a sweatsuit and I enjoyed a little TV.After that,I did some more personal PC work.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it does,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult struggle of the two.There is also something that I haven't really talked about much in my struggles,I have been focusing so much on temptations related to the SSA struggle that I haven't talked about one other thing in my struggles.The link between my struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and my SSA struggles and what role the former has on the latter.You see,as I have been reporting,I do have BPD,which is an acronym for Bipolar Disorder/Depression.My emotions can be on a roller coaster ride and that can make it tough for me to stay on top.One day/minute,I can be up and feeling pretty good,but,at times,the next day/minute,I can be down and feeling not so good.I never know how my moods will be from one day/minute to the next day/minute.If that wasn't bad enough,I also have to put up up with the hallucinatory effects of Schizophrenia.I sometimes hear things that others can't hear.At times,when I walk,I hear footsteps walking and when I stop to see who or what it is,I see nobody and/or nothing.I also hear voices calling my name and when I turn to see who it might be,the same results as in nobody and/or nothing there.My struggles with this mental illness double whammy also makes my SSA struggles more difficult because,at times,I hear voices in my head telling me to grab my private parts and start to manipulate them and yes,sexual images of men do cloud my mind when I do this and it's like I hear these images talking to me asking for sexual favors and even showing their own private parts to me in hopes that I would provide them relief or anything that they want.Plus,past sexual experiences that I have previously can be rehashed and that starts the whole chain all over again.My struggles with the mental illness double whammy were caused by all the traumatic experiences that I had in my life that I shared in my Saturday October 11th post.I also must add that when my mother rescued me from my father's abuse,a bitter custody battle ensued between the two of them.During that bitter custody battle,my father was the cause of another traumatic experience.My mother put me in a particular local school that was affiliated with the church and one day,my father tried to take me out of the school by force after I refused to go with him.I screamed for him to let me go and that I didn't want to go with him,but he ignored my loud pleas.If it weren't for two janitorial workers who were in the right place at the right time,I would've been on my way back to the state of Oklahoma against my will.The police were called and before the custody battle was over and my mother got full custody,he took off and was too cowardly to appear in court.Not only that,at the court house,I was in a literal tug of war between my mother and my father because my father refused to let go of me and all of these things messed me up mentally and emotionally.This,alongside the sexual abuse that I endured when I a 16 year old kid talked me into performing oral sex on him when I was 10 years old and also,the rape episode that I endured when I was 16 years old when a man in my neighborhood tried to ram his genitals up my rectum without using a condom and it hurt horribly.There were also other instances when I was also used and abused by other members of my own gender for their own pleasure.These experiences and all the other traumas in my life,including the spiritual abuse caused by my father and the religious cult that I followed for two brief years,is why I am still caught in the emotional trap of this terrible SSA struggle.As I said before,I have been in therapy all of my life from child therapy to various psychiatrists,psychologists and my current therapy with the nurse practitioner and the social worker who serves as my therapist now at the local hospital,but none of the therapies that I have been with never ever pointed me in the direction of letting go,transcending and going on to discover the true and vital healing that I truly and desperately need.I want to heal from and finally overcome this terrible SSA,but I first need to learn how I can let go,start transcending and really discover the real healing that I so desperately need as I really don't want to repeat this same old cycle of falling and repenting.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also ask that you leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.I also would like some advice on how I can finally let go and transcend from these experiences to discover true healing and finally and really heal from and overcome this terrible SSA.Please continue to pray for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to y'all for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a Celebrate Recovery group in the evening,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in early to mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished showering,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and later on,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had only a couple of things on my agenda for today.I first helped out a friend who needed my help.After that,I turned in a few bottles that I had in the back seat of my car.After that,I went to a local Subway to buy a sandwich.After that,I headed straight home as I didn't like the look of the sky when I was heading for home.
When I got home,I ate my sandwich and while doing so,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.After that,I did some more personal PC work and later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult struggle that I have.At times,I wish that I didn't have to struggle with SSA.The struggle to try and stay sexually sober in the SSA struggle can be very difficult.It isn't easy to stay sexually sober in the struggle.It is always a constant fight to maintain sobriety.I know because I am always in a constant battle to maintain sobriety.I am always being tempted to act out in many ways.There are many ways that someone with SSA can act out besides seeking out partners of the same gender to indulge in sinful sexual activity with.The other ways of acting out are fantasies,lusting and masturbation,which also includes genital manipulation when the genitals are flaccid,that usually goes along with the fantasizing and the lusting.Of course,there is another way that many do and that is looking up porn online and watching it.The thing with all of this is that it does little if nothing to reaffirm a man's true gender identity.The only thing it reaffirms is the so called "Homosexual/Gay" identity,which is a false identity in and of itself.It does get rough for me at times.I am always bombarded by temptations to act out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have.As I stated before,I talked with someone about this sort of thing and they said that I may have some unresolved anger,resentment and trauma issues from my childhood.I am thinking that this could be why I keep getting bombarded as at times,when I get a new therapist,I am always recycling my old stories of all the abuse that I endured throughout my life,which is physical,emotional and sexual.The thing is that while I survived these things,I have never been pointed in the right direction to transcend and move on.I want to discover and actually feel real healing from SSA.I also want to overcome this terrible SSA.I hate that I have these unnatural sexual desires.I also hate it that I struggle with this terrible emotional condition.As I said,I wish that I didn't have to struggle with SSA.Fellow blog followers and readers,I am again asking that you all continue to keep me in your prayers.Please pray that I find the right sort of counseling so I can let go of these issues,start transcending and moving on so I can finally feel the healing that I truly and desperately need.I need that counseling so bad and desperately.I also ask that y'all leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need your verbal encouragement as much I need your prayers.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to y'all for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I quickly washed my hair and shaved.After that,I got dressed up in dress clothes and I headed out to the job placement agency to meet with my job placement counselor/coach to go over a job application that I filled out over the weekend and after that,I signed it and left the agency to drop it off at a local restaurant.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed in casual clothes and I headed out to help a friend.After that was done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Salvation Army thrift store and I bought a few nice things.After that,I headed over to the drug store to pick up my prescription refill.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into sweatpants and did a little bit more personal PC work.I also started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and watch it.I also relaxed while doing so.I also did some more personal PC work.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it does,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult struggle of the two.Right now,the only thing that I need to work on is how I can transcend the traumatic and abusive situations that I am currently struggling with now.The thing is that if I want to discover and get the real healing that I really need,I need to start learning how to get the issues resolved and start transcending from these experiences.I need to find the right help and therapy so I can start doing that.It is just that I don't want to keep on falling into sin by manipulating my genitals to any sexual images of men that cloud my mind,which leads to fantasizing and lusting after these images.I talked this over with someone that is one of those reparative or conversion therapists and they say that the reason could be that I have some unresolved anger and trauma issues from my childhood and that is the reason why I keep doing this sort of thing repeatedly.If that is the reason,I simply need to see how I can get these issues finally resolved so I can let go,transcend and start moving on to become the man that my Heavenly Father wants and intends me to be.I really want that and I don't want to feel sexual feelings for men anymore.I hate that I have these disgusting and unnatural feelings and I do want to heal from them and also,I want to really overcome this terrible SSA and start being the man I am meant to be.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue your prayers for me as I still really need them.I also still need your positive verbal support as much as your prayerful support.Thanks in advance for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of helping a friend out with something,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I had to return a couple of important phone calls,which were by my job placement counselor/coach and my mechanic.I had to reschedule my appoint with the former for tomorrow morning and with the latter,I have to call him back on Thursday.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and while doing that,I got another phone call from my urologist's office to reschedule my appointment tomorrow to next Wednesday.After that,I finished my personal PC work.When that was finished,I had a light lunch and I watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.Since it was raining today,I stayed home and took it easy.I was also still exhausted from my working yesterday into the late evening.I also in pain here and there.During the relaxation time,I did some more personal PC work and later on,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I popped a DVD into my DVD player and I watched it.After that,I did some more personal PC work.I also enjoyed some music while doing so.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it is,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.In my Saturday night post,I revealed all of the negative experiences that I went through in my life.All the trauma,physical,emotional and sexual abuse and all the issues and hurtful feelings related to these things that I went through.While being a survivor of it all is one thing,I was never able to transcend all of these things.I have been in therapy all of my life.I have been from child psychologists to psychiatrists to social workers and nurse practitioner and none of them ever tried to point me in the direction of letting go,transcending and moving on.I am also taking psychiatric medication alongside the therapy.I really want to heal from and overcome this terrible SSA,but all of the issues that I have gone through haven't been resolved yet,but I want to get them resolved so I can go on and become the man that my Heavenly Father wants and intended me to be.I want to heal from these unnatural sexual desires and go on to become the man I'm meant to be as my Heavenly Father wants and intends me to be.I just need to find the right therapy to do that.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers.I also ask that you leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Please pray that I find the right help and therapy that I need to get these negative issues resolved so I can let go and heal from and overcome this terrible SSA.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.Your support,both prayerful and positive verbal,is still very important to me.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of meeting with my job placement counselor/coach to go over an employment application and helping a friend out in the afternoon,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful,eventful and busy day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and after showering,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got into a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow members,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at another local church that was having a pasta dinner there.After I ate with the people,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into a sweatsuit and I did my personal PC work.While doing that,I got a phone call from my workplace saying that a position opened up for the afternoon and I was asked if I could come in and work.I said sure and after we hung up,I finished my personal PC work.After that was done,I filled out a job application and after that,I did a little bit more personal PC work.After that,I got dressed in work clothes and I headed for work.
When I got to work,I immediately got started and it was great to finally be working.The work time went by pretty fast and when I was finished,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped and got a bite to eat as I was hungry.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I ate my light dinner and waited a while before turning in for the night.I got out of my work clothes and into bed clothes.After relaxing a while,I decided to retire for the evening.Overall,a wonderful,eventful and busy day.I still managed to get a little bit of recommended Holy Bible reading done.
Tonight,since I am exhausted and tired from working,I will not talk about where my struggles are and vice versa as I am tired.Please continue to pray for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.Thanks to y'all for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support and to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of meeting with my job placement counselor/coach for some application assistance,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda for today.I first went to the local Salvation Army thrift store and I bought a few nice things.After that,I headed to a local supermarket to pick up something that I needed.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few necessary things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I started to do a little bit more personal PC work.I also started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and I also enjoyed some music.I relaxed for much of the time and I also talked to a few people on the phone.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult struggle.I have been talking so much lately about my falls into sin and everything in regards to my struggles with SSA,but I need to talk about something else.I have been holding something back and tonight,I am going to let it all go.
Last night,when I was at my Celebrate Recovery group,a question was asked asking us what sin or sins are keeping you awake at night or nagging you during the day.Last night,I knew I had to come clean.There have been some things that I have been holding back.I feel that this is why I am still trapped with the unnatural sexual desires that I have.The question asked was "Is there any anger or resentment that you have that is keeping up at night or nagging you through the day?"After all the other men shared,I shared everything.I admitted that I still have some unresolved anger,resentment and trauma issues in my life.I also revealed where the anger and resentment was mostly aimed at.Most of my anger and resentment is still geared towards my father.I revealed that my father physically and emotionally abused me.I also added that aside from that abuse,all that I ever got from my father was his legalism and deprivation.He deprived me of my rights to express myself and only allowed me to only Yes and No answers.I was never allowed anything else and even if I tried to express myself,my father automatically assumed that an evil spirit or a demon was talking through me and he would lay his hands on me and shout out "In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ,get out of my son!" and I would fight to get free from it,but he would apply more strength and he wouldn't let up until I was totally exhausted from fighting to get free.Not only that,my father never gave me any fatherly love nor did he ever share his manliness with me when I was a kid.He was also mostly absent for the vast majority of my life.Not only that,I also have had several traumatic experiences in my life that were mostly instigated by my father,but there were others.One of those was from the domestic violence that I witnessed where my locally living sister was the victim of.I was not only a witness to these violent occurrences,but I too was a victim of that man because there were times that he assaulted me as well when I was still a child.I went from one violent situation with my father to another violent situation with the man that my sister was involved with.The worst traumatic experience of my life was the night when I was chased by a bunch of punks into the path of two cars where the first one struck me and the next one just ran over me and dragged me.I almost lost my life that night and the doctors who worked on me didn't give me a good chance of survival.Fortunately,I survived that night and came through,but the long recovery was very painful and agonizing.Fortunately,I healed up great,but I still feel the pain whenever bad weather is about to come around,which is a vivid reminder of that night.The thing with all of this is that I am always recycling these stories whenever I get a different therapist or when I get involved with a new recovery group.Nobody has ever pointed me in the direction of resolving and transcending these experiences so I can discover what real healing I can get from this terrible SSA and all the other emotional issues that I want to get resolved.I also had some terrible emotional issues from a religious cult that I followed for two years of my life.Again,I was pointed in the direction of getting these issues resolved and transcending beyond it all so I can really heal from all of these experiences.The problem is that I really don't know how to go about it.I don't know how to simply let go and move on.I want to heal from and overcome this terrible SSA and go on to become the man that my Heavenly Father wants me and intends me to be.I am always shouting angry things to myself like if I am lashing out at the people who have made me angry pretending that they are there in the room with me.It is not just my father,but also my locally living sister and other people like so called friends who used me and abused me for their own selfish pleasures,those who sexually abused me,which contributed to my SSA struggles and also confused me,and those who bullied and assaulted me years ago and also,called me horrible names that I wouldn't even call my my mother(may she rest in peace)or my father even if they were those things that I was called.Fellow blog followers and readers,if any of you have any ideas or what books and articles that I can read that can help me let go and finally get the resolutions and transcending that I desperately need to finally start getting the real healing that I need to not only heal from and overcome SSA,but also all the other issues that I need to get resolved.I still need your prayers and yes as usual,I still need your positive verbal support in the comments section.I really need all the support and advice that I can get.I still need prayerful support as much as I need your positive verbal support.Please continue to pray for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered hurriedly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first had a meeting with my caseworker that was at my house.After the meeting was over,I headed out to do some much needed shopping.
I first went to the local Salvation Army thrift store and bought a few nice things.After that,I headed over to a local Big Lots to pick up a few food items.After that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something that I desperately needed.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did some more personal PC work.
After I ate a light meal,I headed over to the Friday night Celebrate Recovery group,which was a wonderful meeting.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,since I was tired,I changed out of my casual clothes into bed clothes and prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
Since I am extremely tired as a result of my medication kicking in,I am simply going to leave it at this point.I will start to share anything in regards to my struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA tomorrow.All that I ask is that you continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance for your support and Thanks also to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual on Sunday morning,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had a cup of coffee.I also had to shower quickly because I was meeting my job placement counselor/coach at the agency and I had to hurry.After my quick shower,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed up in dress clothes quickly and I headed over to the agency so my job placement counselor/coach could analyze the application and tell me whether it is ready or not.When she said that it was ready,I dated the application and after attaching my resume and her business card,I turned the application in.After that,I headed straight home after I picked up another job application on the way.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and into a sweatsuit.I had a light lunch and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.After it was over,I did a little bit more PC work and started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and I also enjoyed a little music while doing so.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it does,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult struggle of the two.Today,I was overwhelmed by temptations after two straight days of none.I was tempted to fantasize and lust after other men,which also led to being tempted to touch myself inappropriately by manipulating my genitals.Fortunately for me,the temptations did die down and I had to take the initiative to try and replace the sexual thoughts that the evil spirits were feeding my brain and tempting me.I decided to simply lay down and read a little bit and the temptations died down.I am hoping that I don't get overwhelmed by temptations for a long time.I have more than enough stress in my life and having to deal and endure temptations to act out on the unnatural sexual desires that I have makes my life even more stressful.I don't have very much here in my hometown in regards to getting help with SSA and wanting to heal from and overcome it.Right now,they are still trying to find a new priest to take over the local Courage ministry and I have to check back near the end of the month to see if they found a new priest to take over.I am hoping that they do because I need to get back into this.I need to find men who understand what I am going through in my area so I can get some support,including acceptance of myself as I am by these other men and also,the affirmations that I desperately need.Right now,my only source of that type of support is Celebrate Recovery and the retired pastor who has been serving as my Christian counselor for the past several months.I do have my usual mental health therapy,but I refuse to talk about my struggles with SSA with them.Why?Because those in the mental health profession in the USA usually encourage those with SSA desires to embrace the so called "Homosexual/Gay" identity and live their lives in sinfulness by indulging in sinful sexual activity with members of their own gender,even though there are many,including myself,don't want to do that at all.So,I keep it from them and share my SSA struggles only with the right people.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,I would really appreciate that you all would leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to y'all for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my evening Celebrate Recovery group,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished showering,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and when that was finished,I got dressed and I proceeded with what I had to do today.
I only had a couple of things on my agenda for today.I first went to a local supermarket to continue getting more food for the month and after that,I paid a bill that needed to be paid.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to fill out a job application and I left a message with my job placement counselor/coach to give me a call so I can make an appointment to meet with her so she can check it out and I can turn it in.After that,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I relaxed while watching it.I also did some more personal PC work.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.Though it is,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,though it is,I wasn't tempted in any way,shape or form today.I guess that by staying busy and keeping my mind on important things,it took my mind off of the sexual aspects of the SSA struggle.There are still some obstacles that I need to overcome and conquer,but I have to take it one day at a time.Though I did escape today unscathed,there is still tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.I still need to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any time with temptations of all sorts.I still have to show these terrible unnatural sexual desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.I am still working on this.I am also still a work in progress and I have to take this process one day at a time.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be afraid to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.It helps keep me going.It also helps reaffirm and reassure me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.I feel alone when people visit,but leave nothing in the comments section.I still need the support from all of you.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and when that was finished,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and watch it.After that was over,I got dressed and proceeded to get on with my day.
I had only a couple of things on my agenda for today.I first went to the post office to mail out an important payment and when that was finished,I headed for a couple of local stores to pick up a couple of things for a light evening meal.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to listen to a little music and I did some more personal PC work.I also had a phone conversation with someone that I hadn't spoken to in a long time.After that was done,I did a little bit more personal PC work.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult struggle that I have.Today,I can say that I wasn't tempted to act out in any way,shape or form.I wasn't tempted to act out by fantasies and lusting as no sexual images of men clouded my mind.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is still tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.I have to continue to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any time with temptations galore.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't hesitate to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.Your support really matters and is very important to me.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and when I was finished,I laid down to read for a while and after that,I headed out.
I only had two things on my agenda for today.I first went to a local restaurant to pick up a job application and after that,I went to a local supermarket to pick up a couple of things for my evening meal tonight.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did some more personal PC work.After that was done,I prepared a light evening meal.
After eating,I relaxed and enjoyed some music.I also had a conversation with a friend over the phone.After that,I did a little bit more reading.Later on,I started to get ready for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and my most difficult struggle of the two,SSA.The SSA struggle can be a very difficult struggle.It can get even more tougher as the days go on and on.What makes the struggle get even more difficult is when you hear in the news about same-sex marriages,same-sex couplings and unions and also,children who want to change their gender identity,such as boys wanting to be girls and girls wanting to be boys.I sometimes wonder why can't they leave what our sovereign Lord and creator,our Heavenly Father,made and created just the way it is.I feel that the creator plays a role in who is born male or female and that these children should learn to be satisfied with what their gender identity is and embrace their gender identity.Why can't they do that?The thing is if they were meant to be male,they should accept their male identity and embrace it and not try to change it.The same thing is also applied to one born a female.Not only that,it is also the way our culture is trying to redefine marriage and family arrangements.They're trying to redefine it so two members of the same gender can marry and also,have a family where there are two fathers and two mothers.The thing is that no child,either male or female,should be without both a father and a mother as that is not what the family and marital arrangements were intended for nor made for by our creator,our Heavenly Father who created humans and also,the marital and family arrangements in the beginning when he did create it all.It does make the SSA struggle difficult as when I see and hear these things in the news,it disillusions me.I am struggling and trying to do what is right in the eyes of my Heavenly Father,but things like this make doing the right thing very difficult.I am also trying to learn to accept and embrace my gender identity and I am also trying to go through the process to heal from the wounds that are the root cause of my SSA struggles and also,I am trying to overcome SSA successfully like many others I have heard about have done successfully.Today,I was overwhelmed by temptations to fantasize and lust after other men,but fought not to give into these terrible temptations.With what I said above,I see that our culture is getting warped by the day and it's getting worse and worse with no sign of it ever getting better.I want to do the right thing,but my sinful fleshly nature wants me to do the opposite of the right thing.I can't let these unnatural sexual desires own me.I want to own them and not the other way around.Fellow blog followers and readers,I am still in need of your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,I would appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need your prayers and encouraging comments.Please continue praying for me.Please also leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to y'all for your prayers and continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ