Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had only one thing planned for today.
The only thing that I did today was that I went to the local Super Wal-Mart to buy myself an ice scraper for my car's windows and windshield.Since this is the Winter season,I need to be prepared for unpredictable weather patterns and also,we are supposed to get freezing rain in my region tonight and I want to be ready.After buying that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a sweatsuit and watched a holiday themed DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I decided to watch a few more holiday themed DVD's and videos.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD/Schizophrenia and my daily struggles with SSA.The SSA struggle is always very difficult.I have to continuously put up with overwhelming temptations that come at me when I least expect them and at times,they are very difficult to resist.Though sexual images of men did cloud my mind today,I was out in the community today and that helped take my mind off of those things.With being out and about,I simply went and did what I had to do and that was good.I really didn't have anything to worry about nor did I have to deal with the difficulties of overwhelming temptations.Again,though I got through today,there is still tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.Each and every day has it's own troubles and anxieties.I know that I shouldn't worry about tomorrow as Christ Jesus said in the Holy Bible,but I still need to be on guard against all sorts of things.Satan and his minions will try anything to get me or any SSA man into trouble by using everything in their evil power to get any one of us SSA men,including myself,to sin against our Heavenly Father and to disobey his laws in regards to what it says about the sexual activity between two members of the same gender or any other forms of sexual immorality.Again,I need to be on guard and watch out for anything that comes at me.I am still working on making frequent prayer a part of my day and while I am doing that,I am again asking that y'all who follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me and leave me something encouraging in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you fr your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to church,I have really nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.When I do head for church tomorrow,I am going to need to be careful while driving as there is a storm watch in effect and also,a freeze warning as we are supposed to get freezing rain overnight.I am just hoping to make it to church and back home safe and sound.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda for today.
The main thing on my agenda for today was my session with the priest.After getting some gas and doing a little shopping at a Salvation Army thrift store on the way,I headed over to his office and I was looking forward to this session as I always been looking forward to them.
The session was wonderful.I shared with him everything that had happened since we last talked and also,I shared with him my latest fall today,which I will be sharing before the end of the post.After our wonderful talk,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby public library to register a ten dollar bill and the Where's George website.After that,I stopped at an AMVETS thrift store that was in the area and I bought a few tapes.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into a sweatsuit to relax and take it easy.I also did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to pop a holiday themed DVD and watched it while relaxing.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a very good day.I also did some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle against the symptoms of BPD/Schizophrenia and my struggles with SSA.Today,I did give into the temptation to manipulate my genitals and yes,sexual images of men did cloud my mind while doing so.After washing my hands,I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I left nothing out and I accepted full and total responsibility for my falling into sin.After I was finished,I did feel better and I did truly believe that I was forgiven.Still,I need to work on avoiding falling into the trap of habitual sin and I am still working on getting tough with myself in regards to that.I am still a work in progress and that is okay.The thing is since I live alone,the temptations to act out are getting stronger and I really need to work on making prayer a part of my daily life.Right now,the only time that I pray is at night before going to sleep and while that is good,I need to start doing it more often during the day and again,it is one of the goals in my walk with my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.I need to start praying more than that just one time at night.I need to really bring myself closer to my Heavenly Father and really pray and sense his presence when I am praying.While I am still working on that,I am again asking that my fellow blog followers please continue praying for me and also,please leave something encouraging in the comments section.I need these things day in and day out to know that I am not alone.I only feel alone when nobody says anything in the comments section.Both prayerful and positive verbal support are always appreciated.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual on Sunday,I have really nothing planned.But I do hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day as I had a few things on my agenda for today.
I first went over to the place where my usual Thursday morning Holy Bible study group was to attend the group meeting for today.Before the meeting,I had to meet with one of the counselors who has been working with me for a while to sign some consent papers and after that,I eagerly awaited the group meeting to begin.
The group meeting was wonderful.After the meting was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local kitchen for lunch.After eating lunch,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a few more things.After paying for those things,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was and after a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the groceries away and I relaxed and did a little bit more personal PC work.After that,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I relaxed.
After eating,I headed over to my Thursday evening Holy Bible study group and that also was wonderful.After that was over,I headed straight home to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle with the psychiatric double whammy that I have of BPD/Schizophrenia and my daily SSA struggles.The struggles on both of these sides never ends.They just keep getting even more difficult.Today,I really didn't have much of a problem with temptation in regards to my SSA struggles.It was simply going to both my morning and evening Holy Bible study groups that took my mind off of the sexual stuff.I was also keeping busy by simply being around people and helping them get to know our Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ through the Holy Bible.I also shopped and visited with a friend and that also made my mind stay clear,Still,there is always tomorrow and I need to keep in mind that just because I escaped unscathed today,tomorrow is a different matter altogether.I have to work on staying strong and taking the matters over to my Heavenly Father in prayer and to ask for strength in prayer in the name of his son Jesus Christ constantly.I am still a work in progress and that is okay.Fellow blog followers,please continue in prayer for me and also,please leave me some positive encouraging words in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment to meet with a priest who I have been having sessions with hoping to connect with a Courage group that he leads.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda for today.Yesterday,I received a gift card from a friend of the family in a Christmas card that I received in the mail.I went out shopping at the local supermarket where the card was from and I bought some stuff that I needed pretty badly and after paying for the stuff,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a friend's business and I picked something up that he was holding for me.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed while watching a couple of DVD's.
After eating,I decided to watch a few more holiday themed DVD's.I then prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I stayed out and stayed busy for much of the day shopping and that kept me busy.This took my mind off of the sexual stuff connected with the SSA struggle.Admittedly,the SSA struggle is a very difficult struggle to endure and deal with.It can also be very draining energy and emotional wise.At times,I wish that I didn't have to struggle with this because SSA ruins the lives of people rather than enhances them in regards to the sinful sexual activity connected with it.The thing is that I have to keep in mind that the sexual desires connected with SSA are unnatural and inappropriate.I understand that the SSA condition in itself isn't sinful,but the sexual activity connected with it is sinful.Regarding what I am looking for in regards to members of my own gender,I am simply for relationships where the benefits friendships,bonding,healthy Christian styled connections and real acceptance by my fellow men and not the false sense of acceptance that the so called "Gay" culture has,where it leads to the never ending sexual promiscuity that is very common in that culture,which can only lead to AIDS,which at present is an incurable disease that kills people who have it and suffer with it.The thing is that,even though I have brought it up numerous times,our Heavenly Father never intended sexuality to be used and abused in the way that the unholy world around us is using and abusing it for.He intended for sexuality to be shared by a man and his wife in the marital framework of healthy and happy Heterosexuality and not for anything other than that.The thing is that this SSA struggle is really overwhelming at times and the temptations can be very strong and the more that the temptations are resisted,the more stronger that they become.Fellow blog followers,I am again asking that y'all continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I would appreciate both of these positive and wonderful things.They both help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination to overcome SSA and my motivation to heal from SSA strong.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my daytime and evening time Holy Bible study groups,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and since my niece came through for me and opened up the bottom of my driveway,I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I first went to the post office to mail out some Christmas cards for my friends and after that,I got some gas in my gas tank and after that,I headed over to a local Burger King for a quick lunch and after that,I headed for a local Dollar Tree to pick up some things and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a friends place to see how they were doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the stuff that I bought away and I relaxed and watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I decided to watch a few more holiday themed DVD's.After that,I prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggle with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is made worse by my struggles with the former psychiatric double whammy that I have.How is it made worse?I have to put up with hearing things,such as sounds that nobody hears like footsteps or voices calling out my name and there is nobody there when I look to see.I also hear someone in my head telling me to do things that I don't want to do,like today,I again gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals,but this time,I wound up ejaculating as a result of that and sexual images of men did cloud my mind.I really felt terrible about this and after washing my hands,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling.I did feel better after that.What led to the fall was the stress of me being couped up in the house all day as a result of my driveway opening being snowed in.I really have to make it a habit of praying more frequently so I don't fall so much.I really hated that I fell again and it makes me angry at myself for doing so.I have to learn to ignore the voices telling me to do that wrong and particular unclean and dirty habit of genital manipulation to sexual images of men.I need to find some way of cleaning my mind and keeping my mind pure and clean in the near and distant future.I hate it when I fall and I really hate the sexual pull that I have towards members of my own gender.I also hate it when those so called "Gay" activists sing the praises of that sinful sexual lifestyle that my Heavenly Father condemns in his sacred word,the Holy Bible,as in it's own words,which are my Heavenly Father's words written down by men as my Heavenly Father said,that the sexual activity between two members of the same gender is wrong,unclean,impure and inappropriate.Plus,I have to keep in mind that my Heavenly Father's view on sexuality,which he created,is not on par with the world's view.My Heavenly Father never intended sexuality to be used and abused the way that the world is using and abusing it.Fellow blog followers,I need prayers and positive verbal encouragement like never before.Please say a few kind words in the comments section and also,please continue praying for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to simply go out temporarily and shovel the sidewalk for the mail people to come and deliver my mail.I was stuck at home much of the day because the city snow plows plowed the bottom of my drive way in and I know that I couldn't get out of the driveway to do things that I needed to do.I simply went back in the house and watched a couple of DVD's while having a couple cups of hot chocolate.I relaxed for much of the day and I am hoping that I might be able to get out tomorrow to do what I have to do.
After eating,I simply watched a few more holiday themed DVD's while relaxing and I decided to get ready for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily struggle against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Today,I was tempted to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men,but this time,I grabbed the bull by the horns and I asked my Heavenly Father to give me the strength to fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.After that,I stayed busy by watching DVD's all through the day.It took my mind off of the sexual aspect of SSA and I felt better.Still,I need all the prayerful and emotional support that I can get.Please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both of these things desperately and now.Please leave me something encouraging in the comments section.Please also continue praying for me.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I am hoping to get out and do what I have to do.I am hoping that my family will come through for me and blow all the snow at the bottom of the driveway so I can do what I have to do.If it doesn't happen,then I guess that I have to hang out at home again.
That was my day today and my hoped for plans for the next day.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up real quickly and I headed out to church for both the Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.Though I had a terrible time getting out of my driveway to head for church,I made it out and I made it there all in one piece.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few boxes of hot chocolate and a couple bags of snacks.After paying for these,I headed straight home.
When I got home,though I had some difficulty getting into my driveway,I put the stuff that I bought away and I got out of my suit and into a sweatsuit.I also did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and watched a couple of DVD's that I popped into the DVD player.After these were over,I did a little more personal PC work.
After eating,I watched a few holiday themed DVD's and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and the terrible SSA.The SSA struggle is made even more difficult with the BPD/Schizophrenia.I hear things and sounds that nobody else hears,such as footsteps and voices calling out my name or trying to get me to say other things.Early this afternoon,I again gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals when sexual images of men clouded my mind,but again,I was fortunate that I stopped myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ for sinning.While I did feel better after that,I am still working on trying to get tough with myself to stop this cycle of habitually sinning.I don't want to fall into a trap of sinning constantly against my Heavenly Father and keep asking for forgiveness for doing so.This is a trap that I am trying to avoid falling into and I know that at the moment,I am not doing a very good job of that.I really need to buckle down and start relying more on my Heavenly Father to give me the strength to fight and resist these terrible and overwhelming urges.I am really serious about wanting to heal from this terrible SSA and I want to stop doing this unclean practice of genital manipulation while sexual images of men creep up into my mind.If anyone has any ideas and/or advice on how I can stop this particular practice,please share it in the comments section,especially if it is Holy Bible based.I am open to try anything to stop this unclean and impure practice.I am also again asking that y'all who follow my blog and read the posts to please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement.My log gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.A nice encouraging post in the comments section by a fellow blog follower would make my day.I need some positive verbal encouragement right now and prayers as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going out to do some shoveling of snow and to keep my car clean of snow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ