Tonight,my road to recovery continues positively.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and bathed.After my bath,I dried up and I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work.I also read a daily devotion sent to me through the church's radio ministry website and also,the scriptures from the Holy Bible they recommended that I read.
After that,I got dressed and proceeded to get on with the rest of my day.
I didn't have too much to do today.It was still cold and even thought it wasn't snowing like yesterday,I only ran one errand.I simply went to a local supermarket to pick up a couple more things that were needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home and I stayed there for the rest of the day as I had nothing else planned for the day.
When I got home,I relaxed and took it easy for a while and also watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues positively,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression and the schizophrenic tendencies that are accompanying it.I am dealing with them on a one day at a time basis.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue on my positive road to recovery and improving in it in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,temptation is still with me.Each and every day,I am always tempted to act out on my desires.But today,the temptation to act out isn't as strong as it was yesterday.The craving to indulge in any fantasy styled stuff themed to the so called Homosexual/Gay culture was very overwhelming yesterday.Since I do have a word starter program on my computer,I decided to use it to put the fantasy to a story.Last night,I spent much of the evening typing up the fantasy story and it really took a long time to finish.It was a really long one.It included everything from the culture in the story and after I finished typing it,I simply closed off the word starter program and I didn't save the story at all.After it was closed,it was now out of my system and immediately forgotten.I read some scriptures from the Holy Bible afterwards and the temptation to act out was practically nil at best.Today,my temptation to act out is very slim and not as strong as it was yesterday.Regarding the fantasy story that I wrote and didn't save,I looked at it the same way as when someone writes an imaginary letter to forgive someone that hurt them before,but after it was written,it was crumpled up,ripped or burned so it was all forgotten.With the word starter program,I simply closed off the program after writing the story and rather than save it for printing or to a disc,I simply closed the program and didn't save it for anything.It's almost the same thing.I felt better afterwards and today,the temptation to act out is only minimal at best.I guess that I will have to do that again in the near future whenever the temptation to indulge in fantasy themed to the so called Homosexual/Gay culture gets really strong.Still,I am always open to new suggestions,ideas and advice on how I can continue to resist the temptation to act out on my desires.Thanks in advance to anyone who wants to help.
Tomorrow,I am planning to attend the morning's church service.In the afternoon,I am hoping to get around to doing my laundry.I will probably simply relax for the rest of the day onward.
That was my day today and my plans and hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues positively.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and bathed as usual.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
Today was a pretty good,if hectic,day.Overnight,we received a dusting of snow,when we were supposed to receive some lake effect styled snow in the form of a storm.But again,we only got a light dusting.I still had some stuff to do and I couldn't let the weather stop me.
I had only one place to go.I went over to a local supermarket to pick up several things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home as a result of the snow and I stayed there for the rest of the day.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and I relaxed while watching a DVD.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good,if hectic,day.
Though my recovery continues positively,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression and the schizophrenic tendencies that I have alongside it.I am dealing with them on a one day at a time basis.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,I am still being tempted to act out day after day.I had a close call this morning when I was manipulating my genitals for the purpose of getting them hard or near hard so I could masturbate.Images of naked men with erections were also clouding my mind and that gave me the motivation to do that.But I managed to stop myself.Still,the temptation is as fresh as it was this morning when I woke up.I really need to take sexual activity with other men off of my mind.I don't want to think about it anymore nor do I want to search for a male partner for the purpose of acting out physically.None of that will get me what I want,which is affirmation of my gender identity as well as the feelings of authenticity that go with that affirmation.Sexual activity with another men and masturbating to nude men images,alongside the viewing of pornography while masturbating,will only make me feel empty inside as the temporary fulfillment of these will only fade away after a while.If anyone can give me any ideas,advice or suggestions on how I can rid my mind of sex with other men,I am open to any of that.Thanks.
As for the weekend,I haven't really made any plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to be positive.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I had a spirituality group that I needed to attend and I just wanted to get to that and be done with it.
The group went better than expected.After the group was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I had to make a couple of stops.I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up something that I needed and after that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick a couple boxes of Christmas cards.After that,I headed over to the nearby local supermarket within the plaza to pick up yet one more thing.After paying for that,I headed straight home and that is where I stayed for the rest of the day as I had nothing else to do nor any place else to go.
When I got home,I put everything away and after that,I had myself a quick lunch before taking it easy for the rest of the day.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues positively,I am still dealing and struggling with bipolar depression and it's accompanying symptoms alongside the schizophrenic tendencies that I have with this.I am dealing with them on a one day at a time basis.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am still being tempted to act out on my desires.I know that I do have a choice whether to act out or not.I have chosen to not act out as it is the right thing to do in the eyes of God through his son Jesus Christ.The only problem is that my desires want me to do what is wrong,which is to indulge in sexual activity with members of my own gender.I am not going to do that,even though it isn't easy to make that choice or endure while the desires are at their strongest.Though I did give in 2 nights ago,I didn't give in last night,though the temptation is still strong.I do have the urge to try and manipulate my genitals into hardness or near hardness,but right now,I have chosen not to do that,though it isn't easy putting up with all of that.Still,I am looking for some help and encouragement.If anyone can give me any advice in how I can resist any temptation to act out,I would like any advice or suggestions as they are always welcomed.Thanks.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues to go positively.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and got dressed.I had quite a bit on my agenda today and I wanted to get everything done.
Firstly,I paid my DirecTV bill over the phone.After that,I headed over to the post office to buy money orders and to mail out the bill payments.After that was done,I headed over to my insurance agent to pay my car insurance.After that was done,I headed over to the local Sears to pay my credit card bill.After that,I headed straight home and that is where I stayed for the rest of the day as I had nothing else to do nor anyplace else to go.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched some TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues to go positively,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression and the schizophrenic tendencies that I have alongside it.I am dealing with them on a one day at a time basis.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am still being tempted to act out on a daily basis.Last night,I did masturbate to images of naked men flooding my mind.I did feel miserable as a result of that and the misery stuck with me for much of the day.I really don't want to masturbate and I really don't want these images of naked men flooding my mind anymore.I want to let them fade into a memory that I want to forget.I don't want to have these images flood my mind anymore and I no longer want to masturbate.I want to do the right thing by not acting out with another man and also,not to masturbate to these images nor even masturbating to pornography.I want to stop this stuff and again,if anyone has any ideas or advice on how I can do so,please share.Any advice or suggestions is always appreciated.Thanks.
Tomorrow,I have a spirituality group that I must attend.After that,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues positively.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I got dressed and proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda today.After eating lunch,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up a few things that were needed for dinner.After paying for those items,I headed over to another local supermarket to pick up another thing.After paying for that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some much needed money that my mom wanted me to withdraw for her.After that,I headed straight home and that is where I stayed for the rest of the day as I had nothing else to do nor anyplace else to go.
When I got home,I unpacked all the groceries and put them in their proper places.I relaxed and watched TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues positively,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of bipolar depression and the schizophrenic tendencies that I have alongside it.I am dealing with them on a one day at a time basis.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to act out is just as strong as it has been.I am still being tempted to act out on my desires on a day to day basis.I haven't sought any male partners to act out with,but I am still having visions of naked men cloud my mind and I am still manipulating my genitals to attain hardness or near hardness for the purpose of masturbating to those images.The images still continue to cloud my mind.The thing is that I don't want to act out,but my desires want me to.I want to do the right thing that God expects me to do,but my desires want me to do wrong in God's eyes.The temptation is really strong and I don't want to give in.Again,as I have asked before,if anyone can help me out with any helpful advice on how I can gain strength to resist the temptation to act out,please share.I would greatly appreciate that.Thanks.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues on a positive road.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed.I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had a couple of groups that I needed to attend.The first was a recovery group where we all sit and talk about our goals and plans for recovery and after that,I had a work skills group that I also needed to attend,in which we talk about learning new skills,improving current skills and also,how to get along with others in the work place.
The groups both went well.I did get a lot out of them.After the groups,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to pay a bill and to withdraw some money for myself.After that,I headed straight home and that is where I stayed for the rest of the day as I had nothing else to do nor any place else to go.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV for a while.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.
Though my recovery continues to go positively,I am still dealing and struggling with the symptoms of Bipolar Depression with schizophrenic tendencies.I am dealing with them on a one day at a time basis.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am still being tempted to act out on my desires.This morning,I was also tempted to do so.I had the temptation to again manipulate my genitals to get them hard or near hard and to masturbate once that happened.But I managed to stop myself from that.There was also some fantasy involved as well.I do have to say that we men who struggle with SSA really have it tough.We are always tempted to act out on our unnatural desires and though we know that the sexual activity between two members of the same gender is sinful and wrong,we are always in the middle of it all.We are tempted to act out but we also want to do the right thing by resisting the temptation.That is where we are stuck in the middle.By comparison,it is easier to give into the temptation than it is to resist.Resistance is very difficult and we always have to put up with the fact that when we choose to resist,the temptation to act out gets stronger.The best thing is that we all have a choice in this matter.We can choose to act out or we can choose not to act out.But fellow readers,I am still looking for helpful advice.If anyone out there can help me with any advice or suggestions,please do so.Thanks.
As for tomorrow,I have only thing on my agenda.I have to drop off something at the local city hall and after that,I have nothing else planned.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my plans and hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my road to recovery continues positively.I had a very good and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and bathed.After my bath,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I did only a fraction of my personal PC work because I was planning to go to this morning's church service.After I was done with the computer,I got dressed up and headed over to the church for the morning's service.
The service was wonderful.I got a lot out of it and the fellowship before and after the service was as wonderful as the service itself.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes.I had a light lunch of a bowl of soup and after lunch,I finished up my personal PC work.
After the computer,I headed over to a local supermarket to pick up several things that were needed for dinner tonight.After paying for all of those items,I headed straight home as that is where I stayed for the rest of the day as I had no place else to go nor any place else to go.
When I got home,I put all the stuff away and after that,I simply watched a DVD while relaxing.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I also did some more personal PC work.Overall,a very good and eventful day.
Though my recovery continues on a positive road,I am still dealing and struggling with bipolar depression with schizophrenic tendencies and the symptoms alongside it.I am dealing with them on a one day at a time basis.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also taking my medication as directed.I am hoping to continue feeling better in the days and months ahead.
Regarding my struggles with SSA,I fell short early this morning.I masturbated to images of nude men with erections.I simply manipulated my genitals to hardness and masturbated until orgasm and ejaculation.I felt miserable afterwards as I really didn't know what to make of this failure.I felt like that I had failed God and his son Jesus Christ.I so desperately want to heal from unwanted SSA and I do want to become the man that God wants me to be.I don't want to masturbate anymore and I am tired of those nude men images clouding my mind.If anyone out there can help me beat these habits,please do so.Any advice or suggestions are appreciated.I did feel a little bit better once I attended the morning's church service,but the failure until then was a big weight on me.If anyone out there can offer any helpful suggestions,I would really appreciate that.Thanks.
Tomorrow,I have a couple of groups that I will be attending in the early afternoon.After that,I have no other plans.But whatever I do,I hope that it gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ