Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.While having my coffee,I watched a little TV and after that,I showered.When I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast and after that,I did my personal PC work.When I was finished with my PC work,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.After that,I headed out to do a little bit of shopping and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I started to prepare my evening meal and I also did a little bit more personal PC work.
After eating,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched it.After that,I did a little bit more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still going through my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult struggle.That gets too apparent day in and day out every day.Today,likewise with today,I was overwhelmed by temptations.I was tempted to act out with fantasies and lusting after other men and to also manipulate my genitals.It was tough fighting and resisting these terrible unnatural urges that were overwhelming me.These urges really get stronger every time resistance is put up.I went to my Heavenly Father and asked him to give me the strength to help me fight and resist these terrible urges in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed and didn't cease until the urges were completely gone.When I was finished praying,I felt better and much stronger.Now,I need ti work on asking for strength daily from my Heavenly Father whenever these urges come around.I need and have to show my Heavenly Father that I am very and totally serious about wanting to heal from and overcome this terrible SSA.I hate finding members of my own gender sexually attractive and I also hate that I struggle with this terrible condition.I want to heal from and overcome this terrible SSA.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.When I don't get any positive verbal support in the comments section,I feel alone and lonely in this particular struggle.I need your positive verbal support to help keep me going and hanging in there.Your positive verbal support helps reaffirm and reassure me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.I also need your prayerful support as well.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing else planned.But I Hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and after that,I got dressed and I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I only had two things on my agenda for today.I first went to the bank to withdraw some much needed money.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered a couple of the bills on Where's George.After that,I did some more personal PC work and after that,I headed out to get some dinner at a local take-out place.I headed for home after that.
When I got home,I ate my take-out dinner and after that,I headed for my weekly Celebrate Recovery group,which was wonderful.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into sleep clothes and I did a little bit more personal PC work.After that,I prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues to move forward,I am still struggling with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I was overwhelmed by temptation.It started as I was about to get out of bed this morning.Satan and his minions really try to get anyone who wants to do the right thing to do what is wrong.I had to really fight today to stay strong and resist these overwhelming urges.The SSA struggle gets more difficult every day.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and I also would really appreciate some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.Please continue to pray for me.I also need some positive verbal support in the comments section.Your support,both prayerful and positive verbal,helps keep me going.It also helps reaffirm and reassure me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to pray for me and also,I again ask that you leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to y'all for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed up in dress clothes and I headed out to the job placement agency to sign a job application that my job placement counselor/coach filled out on my behalf and also said that she would turn it in for me on my behalf.After that,I headed straight home to change into casual clothes and I headed over to a local kitchen to have lunch and after I was finished,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and relaxed for much of the day.I also watched a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.
I decided to eat out tonight.A local church in the area near my house was having a free dinner night and I headed over there.The food was great and the people I met there were wonderful.After I was finished,I stopped at a local 7-11 to pick up some cookies.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.I also did some more PC work.I later prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I am still going through my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of my struggles.Today,though it is painful and shameful for me to admit this,I did give into temptation by looking up online porn and also,I manipulated my genitals to what I was watching.I stopped myself and I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked him to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out.I admitted everything to my Heavenly Father and when I was finished,I felt much better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.That slip was one slip too many.I need to start buckling down and stop these things.I am really serious about wanting to heal and overcome SSA.I can't keep giving into these things.I still need to work on getting tough with myself and showing this terrible SSA that I own it and not the other way around.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to pray for me as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I also ask that you leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need your positive verbal support as much as I need your prayerful support.Your support helps keep me going.It also reaffirms and reassures me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my usual Celebrate Recovery group meeting tomorrow evening,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished showering,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.After that,I did a little bit more personal PC work and I also cleaned up a little bit around the house.Later on,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I watched a little bit of TV and after that,I did some more personal PC work.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
I stayed home for much of the day as I had nothing to do nor anyplace to go.
My rocky road to recovery continues moving forward and I am feeling better from last week.However,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of them.Today,though it is,I can say that I wasn't tempted to fantasize nor lust after other men nor was I tempted to manipulate my genitals and for the first time in a quite a while,no sexual images of men clouded my mind.I was glad that for the first time in a while,I wasn't overwhelmed by temptations.However,though I did escape today,there is still tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.I still need to stay on guard and be watchful.Satan and his minions can strike at any time.I need to show these unnatural sexual desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.I have to make the resolve to fully rely on my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for this particular struggle as I know that I can never go this struggle alone.I also need the support of those who continually visit my blog and read my posts.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.Your support,both prayerful and positive verbal,really matters to me and also,it's very important to me.Your support not only helps keep me going,but also both reaffirms and reassures me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to pray for me.I also ask that you leave some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do an provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of an appointment with my job placement counselor/coach to sign a job application that I will be turning in tomorrow,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery is still moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed with the rest of the day.
I went out to check up on my schedule at work and I am still not getting any hours in since the start of this month.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped somewhere to pick up an empty cardboard box that I needed to put some stuff in.After picking it up,I purchased something at a local close-out store and after that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put what I had bought away and I did some more personal PC work.Later on,I prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I watched some TV and I did some more personal PC work.As it was approaching later evening,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery is still moving onward,especially after last week when I was in a state of depression over the approaching 2nd anniversary of my mom's passing away,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA.Emotionally and mood wise,I am feeling much better as I have gotten through last week and the day that the anniversary came.In regards to my SSA struggles,I need prayers please.I have been overwhelmed by temptation much of the day.I need prayers by every one of you.Please pray for me.When I am overwhelmed by temptation,I,at times,never know whether I am coming or going.I feel stuck in the middle between Homosexuality and Heterosexuality most of the time.It always happens when I am being overwhelmed by temptation.I also ask that y'all leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need your positive verbal support as much I need your prayerful support.Your positive verbal support both reaffirms and reassures me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Your support in both of these areas also helps keep me going.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to y'all for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty fair day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and after that was done,I did some much needed cleaning up around the house and after that,I relaxed and did a little bit more personal PC work.
I stayed home for the day as there was rain for much of the day.I relaxed and took it easy and later on,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I watched some TV and I did some more personal PC work.I also enjoyed a little bit of music.Later on,I started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
Tonight,I am now feeling much better.I am no longer in the dark depression that I was for much of last week.Yesterday,the anniversary of my mother's passing came and went.I was depressed and didn't feel much like myself,but I stayed the course and now,I am feeling much better as far as my emotions go.I kept on it and hung in there and now,I am feeling a lot better.
However,though I am feeling better as far as my emotional make-up goes,I did fall into sin today.I gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals and yes,sexual images of men clouded my mind as I did this,which led to fantasizing and lusting after those images.I wound up masturbating the rest of the way.After it was over,I washed my hands and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I poured everything out and I left out nothing.I really felt miserable for falling into sin.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out.I told my Heavenly Father everything and when I was finished praying,I felt better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven for my sins today.I still need to work on getting tough with myself.I need to show these unnatural sexual desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.I can't let these unnatural sexual desires continue to have a hold of me.I have to show them that I am stronger than they are,even in my inherent imperfection and weakness.I can't keep on giving into these terrible desires and repenting each time.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need both your prayerful and positive verbal support daily and often.Your support,both prayerful and positive verbal,really matters and is also very important to me.I need to be shown that I am not alone in any of my struggles.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to y'all for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up something for lunch.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into a sweatsuit.I quickly did my personal PC work and after that was done,I laid down for a while as I was still feeling a little tired.After that,I relaxed and watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.After that,I prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I cleaned up a little bit around the house and after that was done,I did a little bit more personal PC work.I also watched a little TV and did some more work on my PC.Later on,I prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
Today,it is the 2nd anniversary of my mom's passing and I am not feeling up to snuff yet.I am still in a very dark place emotionally and I really still can't talk about my struggles.I am hoping that by tomorrow,I will feel much better and I can start talking again.In the meantime,please continue to keep me in your prayers and please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need your support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ