Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I went to the bank to withdraw some much needed money.After doing that,I headed straight to shower and after my shower,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that was done,I did my personal PC work and when that was done,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and watch it.I also did some more personal PC work when that was over.
A little later on,I decided to go out and run a small errand.I went to the local Salvation Army thrift store to look around,but didn't buy anything.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to watch a little bit of TV and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two.This morning,while still in bed,I again gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitalia with sexual images of men clouding my mind.Fortunately,I again managed to stop myself before it went too far and I also felt really miserable after doing this.I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I asked him for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I was truly sorry for what I did wrong while in bed this morning.I prayed real hard and left nothing out.After I was finished,I felt better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.I had no problems for the rest of the day as I went through the rest of the day and no temptations nor did anything lustful come into my mind.I went and simply did what I had to do and that took my mind off of anything sexual with men.Still,I really need to get tough with myself and I really need to work on going to my Heavenly Father and ask him for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations.I also need to find out why I keep giving into these terrible urges when they come around.I don't want to give into these terrible temptations anymore,but I keep giving into them and I don't know why.Again,I really need to work on going to my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask him for that strength to help me fight and resist in the name of his son Jesus Christ.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both of these things desperately and every day as I am still going through a very complex and difficult emotional time.Please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly.After my shower,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I quickly did my personal PC work and I proceeded with the rest of the day.
I first went to the bank to withdraw a little money that I needed for gas.After that,I took it home and registered the bill on the Where's George site.After that,I had myself some lunch and when I was done with that,I did a little bit more personal PC work.After that,I went to the local Super Wal-Mart to meet a few Buffalo Sabres alumni players to get autographs for my Buffalo Sabres history picture book and to get a gallon of milk that I needed.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put my book back where it was before and proceeded to do a little bit more personal PC work.
After eating,I headed over to a Celebrate Recovery group,which was my first meeting in a couple of months as I missed other meetings due to illness and to terrible Winter weather,which was very wonderful.After that was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I decided to get ready for my evening retirement and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the worst of two.This morning,while still in bed,I again gave into the temptation to manipulate my genitals to sexual images of men that were clouding my mind,but I managed to stop myself before it went too far.After washing my hands,I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for sinning in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed hard and after I was finished,I felt much better as I knew that I was truly forgiven.I went through the rest of the day without any problems nor any more temptations.The thing is that Satan and his minions are out there and they are trying everything to tempt me and get me to sin.I really need to start getting tough on myself and going to my Heavenly Father in prayer and ask him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I really need to start showing these unnatural sexual desires that I have that I own them and that they don't own me.I need to get tough and really start asking for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible urges.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue praying for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately.Please pray for me and leave me some positive verbal encouragement.I need both of these things to help keep me going.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.Please leave me some encouraging comments and also.please continue to keep me in your prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done,I got dressed real quickly and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I headed out to a meeting,only to find out when i arrived that the meeting was canceled.After spending a few minutes socializing with the people,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I headed over to my sister's house for dinner and when I was finished eating,I headed back home to drop off something and pick up my medication.After that,I headed over to my Thursday evening Holy Bible study group,which went as wonderfully well as expected.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did some more personal PC work and I prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two.This morning while still in bed,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and I gave into fantasizing and lusting.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went to far and when I did,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked him to forgive my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed real hard and left nothing out and when I was finished,I felt better as I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.For the rest of the day,I had no problems with fantasies and lusting as I went through the day doing what I had to do.I kept busy by being out in the community and just keeping my mind on what I had to do.It was great that I had nothing like that for the day.But,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.I am still trying to work on staying on guard and being watchful.Satan and his minions are out there and I need to stay on guard.They can strike at anytime and anywhere without me knowing it.I really need to start getting tough on myself and asking my Heavenly Father for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ when these temptations come around.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately and daily.Please keep praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.Please leave some encouraging words and also,please continue to keep me in your prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going to an evening Celebrate Recovery group,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was done,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.I also did my personal PC work and I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had a few things on my agenda for today.I first folded up some clean laundry and when that was done,I did my breakfast dishes.After that,I did a little bit more cleaning up around the house.After that,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it while relaxing.
Later on,I went to attend a Lenten dinner at my church.It was wonderful to be around my fellow worshipers and eating with them.I am really satisfied with where I am at spiritually and that is terrific.It was great.We ate some wonderfully delicious food and we watched some children singing and a bell choir doing a really beautiful hymn.After that,we watched a little bit of a video about the lift of Jesus Christ and his earthly walk to bring people back to his father,the sovereign Lord and creator of the Earth and everything in it and around it.After it was over,I helped with the clean-up details and after some more wonderful fellowship,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I went into the house and changed into my night clothes to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a very good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against the symptoms of BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult struggle.Today,while still in bed,I gave into temptation to manipulate my genitals and yes,sexual images of men did cloud my mind as I was doing this.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I immediately asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed hard and bared my soul.I left nothing out.After I was finished,I felt better and I moved on with the rest of the day.For the rest of the day,there were no problems with temptations nor were there any other problems as I kept busy with other things.The fellowship dinner with my church family also helped.It was great that for the rest of the day,I had nothing spring up nor tempt me.It was really wonderful.Still,I am again asking that y'all who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support desperately each and every day.They both help me in a lot of ways.They both help keep me going in this particular fight and struggle.They also keep my motivation to want to overcome and heal from SSA alive.Please pray for me and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of my Thursday evening study group,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly.After showering,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.When I was finished,I headed out to do some stuff that I needed to get done.
Before I did all that I had to do,I went to a local kitchen for lunch and when I was finished,I dropped a couple of people that I knew at a couple of places.After that was done,I headed out to do some much needed stuff.I went to Best Buy to pay a bill and after that,I headed over to a Dollar Tree within the county that I lived and picked up a few things.After paying for these things,I headed over to the drug store to pick up some prescriptions that my doctor prescribed.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I did my personal PC work.After that,I decided to relax and watch a DVD that I popped into the DVD player.After that,I did some more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to watch another DVD that I popped into the DVD player while relaxing.Later on,I decided to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPS/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two.Though it is,I must say that today,since I kept busy with what I had to do,I really had no troubles with any temptations.I was out for much of the day and just did what I had to do and it was great.It is just that being out in the community took my mind off of the unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.I had no problems today.While that was a good thing,I must keep in mind that there is always tomorrow and the days after that,I have to take this struggle one day at a time and while one day may be successful,there are the days ahead of today.Don't get me wrong,I am not worried about tomorrow nor am I worried about the future days.It is just that I have to stay alert and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at anytime.They can strike in the morning,afternoon and/or evening.I need to stay on guard and be watchful as they can strike at any time.Whenever they do strike,I have to go my Heavenly Father and ask him for strength in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me fight and resist any temptations that they want to throw at me.I am still a work in progress and that is cool.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue praying for me and also,please don't be afraid to leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support day in and day out.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left.Please leave me some positive verbal encouragement and please continue to pray for me.I really need both of these things right now as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a Wednesday night church Lenten dinner,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and after that,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work and I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I only had one thing on agenda for today.I had a doctor's appointment today as a follow-up to some lab work that I had done during the month of February.According to the doctor,everything was good and after that,I headed for home.Before heading for the doctor's office,I withdrew some money from the bank so I can pay a bill tomorrow.I also got some gas in my gas-tank.
After leaving the doctor's office,I had a quick lunch at a nearby restaurant.After that,I headed to the local Super Wal-Mart to return something.When I was done with that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a couple of things that I needed.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I started to prepare my evening meal and while that was being done,I did more personal PC work.
After eating,I decided to pop a DVD into the DVD player and watch it while relaxing.I also started preparing for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is my most difficult of the two.Today,I gave into temptation while still in bed by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind,but I managed to stop myself before it went too far and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me for my sins in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I poured everything and left nothing out.After I was finished,I felt better and I moved on with the rest of the day.Fellow blog followers and readers,I really need your prayers right now and I also need some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.Please leave me some encouraging comments in the comments section.Again,please keep me in your prayers.I am still going through a very difficult emotional time right now and I really need your prayers and your positive verbal encouragement.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of going out to pay a bill,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes.I did my personal PC work and when that was done,I did some much needed cleaning up and threw a lot of stuff into garbage bags.It was just mountains of paper junk that had accumulated over several months.After that was done,I began to watch a DVD,but felt tired and sleepy.I turned it off and after getting into pajamas,I laid down for a little over an hour and a half.
After getting back up,I headed back out to buy a few things for dinner.After eating,I watched another DVD and I did some more personal PC work.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two.Today,I had no problems with fantasies or lusting.I just keep busy with everything that I had to do and it was great.I didn't have nothing go through my mind nor did I have any thoughts of lusting.I simply went through the day unscathed,but there is always tomorrow and the days after that.Satan and his minions can strike and try to tempt me to act out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have.They try to get me to think that acting out is an inevitability rather than a choice.But I know that acting out is a choice and I don't want to act out any longer.Acting out will never give me what I truly want and need,which is affirmation of my gender identity and the feeling of feeling like a man.I am still hoping and praying for healthy and authentic relationships with other men where I can relate,identify and connect with them in a healthy authentic Christian way.I want to to connect with other men in a healthy and authentic way.Fellow blog followers,please continue praying for me and also,please don't forget to leave me an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support.Please continue praying for me and please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your continued positive verbal encouragement.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a doctor's appointment in the mid afternoon,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ