Saturday, February 24, 2018
Tonight,I'm feeling extremely tired and can barely type.Please continue praying for me and please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I still need all the prayerful and positive verbal support that I can get.Thanks to all of you and thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.FJ
Friday, February 23, 2018
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had my coffee.I washed up and got dressed real quickly.I headed for work.
The work day went well.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I showered quickly and got dressed as I headed for my church for a little charitable dinner that they were having in the fellowship hall.
The dinner was wonderful.I ate a lot and it filled me up.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into pajamas and I did my personal PC work.I then relaxed for a while as I also prepared for my evening retirement.A very good day overall.
Please continue praying for me as I am still struggling terribly with SSA.I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also need to know that those who are praying for me haven't given up on me,although I do feel like a basket case for the constant falling and relapsing that I have been going through.I also would still appreciate some positive verbal support,in the forms of spiritual upbuilding with the Holy Bible and some truly encouraging words,in the comments section.Thanks to y'all for your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is the start of the weekend.With the exception of church as usual on Sunday,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had my coffee.I washed up and got dressed real quickly.I headed for work.
The work day went well.After it was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I showered quickly and got dressed as I headed for my church for a little charitable dinner that they were having in the fellowship hall.
The dinner was wonderful.I ate a lot and it filled me up.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed into pajamas and I did my personal PC work.I then relaxed for a while as I also prepared for my evening retirement.A very good day overall.
Please continue praying for me as I am still struggling terribly with SSA.I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also need to know that those who are praying for me haven't given up on me,although I do feel like a basket case for the constant falling and relapsing that I have been going through.I also would still appreciate some positive verbal support,in the forms of spiritual upbuilding with the Holy Bible and some truly encouraging words,in the comments section.Thanks to y'all for your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is the start of the weekend.With the exception of church as usual on Sunday,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.FJ
Thursday, February 22, 2018
Possible Triggers
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.
Today,I woke up early and had coffee.After that,I washed up quickly,got dressed and headed for work.
The work day went better than the last two days.It was stressful and draining the last two days.Today,it was a little bit easier and I managed to get everything done on schedule.After the work day was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed a bit and after that,I showered.I then headed back out for a free dinner at a local church,which was wonderful.After that,I bought a few things at a local supermarket and after getting some gas,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did my personal PC work.Later on,I prepared for my evening retirement.A pretty fair to good day overall.
In regards to my SSA struggles,I am still struggling terribly.I have had relapses over the last 2-3 days and I'm feeling miserable.I have relapsed by masturbating to numerous sexual images of men and many other things.I feel very terrible after these terrible relapses.I am also getting sick and tired of falling into these terrible sins.I have been really overwhelmed by fantasizing and lusting after these images.Each and every time I fall,I feel miserable and terrible.I feel like I have failed my Heavenly Father and even myself.I always hate myself after a relapse as this SSA struggle that I have is terrible.SSA is a terrible thing.SSA doesn't do anything to enhance lives.It only makes misery,regret,sadness,depression and confusion because the struggle is very difficult.In my case,since I have both Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia,my personal struggle is even more difficult because of my mental health issues and such.I know that I'm a person and not a diagnosis,but these mental health issues coupled with the intense emotional issues that I struggle with alongside SSA make my personal struggles with SSA more difficult.I feel that I hear voices in my head telling me to manipulate my genitals to these images and I also feel that Satan and his minions are the ones overwhelming me with these terrible images.I am also sick of hearing so much "La-Di-Da" talk about the sinful sexual lifestyle that is connected with the terrible "Same-Sex Agenda".To that agenda,their advice is to simply accept your desires and accept the identity that you have and go out and live that identity.
There's just one problem with that.The so called "Homosexual/Gay" identity is a false identity.It is not a true identity at all.The only really true identity is "Heterosexual/Straight". Even the identity of "Bisexual" is as false as "Homosexual/Gay". I don't want this identity.I want to be what I am,which is a man,and not any other identity.
I understand that the sovereign Lord and creator,our Heavenly Father,doesn't condemn anyone for having SSA or the unnatural sexual desires that go with it,but he does condemn the sexual activity associated with the SSA condition.I simply want to stop giving into these terrible and unnatural urges that I have.I also want to stop giving into the perversions that I have,which are just as terrible as the unnatural sexual desires that I have.
What am I doing wrong?
How can I stop giving into these urges?
How can I stop being enslaved by these unnatural sexual desires and perversions that I have?
How can I stop relapsing?
How can I think pure thoughts about my fellow men and not impure ones?
I need helpful answers and advice.Anything helpful that can and will help me is appreciated.You can share them in the comments section.Your helpful advice can be both encouraging words and spiritually upbuilding posts with Holy Bible scripture and many true and positive affirmations.
Please continue to say prayers for me that I can overcome these relapses and get back on the path to true healing and connecting with my true identity,which is male/man.Please continue to pray for me.I also still want to read that those who are still supporting me haven't given up on me.That would really make me feel better.It will also not make me feel so alone in my struggles as I do feel alone right now as nobody really leaves me anything in the comments section.I need some positive verbal support to help keep me going and show me that I am not facing this terrible SSA struggle alone.I need encouragement.I need reassurance.I also need affirmations and spiritually themed posts.Thanks in advance to y'all for your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is a work day and I hope that all goes well.FJ
Today,I woke up early and had coffee.After that,I washed up quickly,got dressed and headed for work.
The work day went better than the last two days.It was stressful and draining the last two days.Today,it was a little bit easier and I managed to get everything done on schedule.After the work day was over,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed a bit and after that,I showered.I then headed back out for a free dinner at a local church,which was wonderful.After that,I bought a few things at a local supermarket and after getting some gas,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did my personal PC work.Later on,I prepared for my evening retirement.A pretty fair to good day overall.
In regards to my SSA struggles,I am still struggling terribly.I have had relapses over the last 2-3 days and I'm feeling miserable.I have relapsed by masturbating to numerous sexual images of men and many other things.I feel very terrible after these terrible relapses.I am also getting sick and tired of falling into these terrible sins.I have been really overwhelmed by fantasizing and lusting after these images.Each and every time I fall,I feel miserable and terrible.I feel like I have failed my Heavenly Father and even myself.I always hate myself after a relapse as this SSA struggle that I have is terrible.SSA is a terrible thing.SSA doesn't do anything to enhance lives.It only makes misery,regret,sadness,depression and confusion because the struggle is very difficult.In my case,since I have both Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia,my personal struggle is even more difficult because of my mental health issues and such.I know that I'm a person and not a diagnosis,but these mental health issues coupled with the intense emotional issues that I struggle with alongside SSA make my personal struggles with SSA more difficult.I feel that I hear voices in my head telling me to manipulate my genitals to these images and I also feel that Satan and his minions are the ones overwhelming me with these terrible images.I am also sick of hearing so much "La-Di-Da" talk about the sinful sexual lifestyle that is connected with the terrible "Same-Sex Agenda".To that agenda,their advice is to simply accept your desires and accept the identity that you have and go out and live that identity.
There's just one problem with that.The so called "Homosexual/Gay" identity is a false identity.It is not a true identity at all.The only really true identity is "Heterosexual/Straight". Even the identity of "Bisexual" is as false as "Homosexual/Gay". I don't want this identity.I want to be what I am,which is a man,and not any other identity.
I understand that the sovereign Lord and creator,our Heavenly Father,doesn't condemn anyone for having SSA or the unnatural sexual desires that go with it,but he does condemn the sexual activity associated with the SSA condition.I simply want to stop giving into these terrible and unnatural urges that I have.I also want to stop giving into the perversions that I have,which are just as terrible as the unnatural sexual desires that I have.
What am I doing wrong?
How can I stop giving into these urges?
How can I stop being enslaved by these unnatural sexual desires and perversions that I have?
How can I stop relapsing?
How can I think pure thoughts about my fellow men and not impure ones?
I need helpful answers and advice.Anything helpful that can and will help me is appreciated.You can share them in the comments section.Your helpful advice can be both encouraging words and spiritually upbuilding posts with Holy Bible scripture and many true and positive affirmations.
Please continue to say prayers for me that I can overcome these relapses and get back on the path to true healing and connecting with my true identity,which is male/man.Please continue to pray for me.I also still want to read that those who are still supporting me haven't given up on me.That would really make me feel better.It will also not make me feel so alone in my struggles as I do feel alone right now as nobody really leaves me anything in the comments section.I need some positive verbal support to help keep me going and show me that I am not facing this terrible SSA struggle alone.I need encouragement.I need reassurance.I also need affirmations and spiritually themed posts.Thanks in advance to y'all for your continued support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is a work day and I hope that all goes well.FJ
Wednesday, February 21, 2018
Tuesday, February 20, 2018
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had coffee.After washing up real quick,I got dressed and headed for work.
The work day was stressful.For most of the afternoon,I and a client had to mop the floor with stripper and water as someone poured an oil based thing on the floor.It was a tough job,but it was done,though it took the rest of the afternoon to get it done.After the work day was over,I stopped at a local supermarket for some ground coffee and I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I took out the garbage and did a little bit of work in the house.Later on,I did my personal PC work and had a light evening meal.I also did some more personal PC work.I later prepared for my evening retirement.A pretty stressful day overall.
Please continue praying for me as I am still struggling with the terrible SSA.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support,in the forms of spiritual upbuilding and encouraging words,within the comments section.Thanks in advance for your support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is another work day and I hope that it goes well.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and had coffee.After washing up real quick,I got dressed and headed for work.
The work day was stressful.For most of the afternoon,I and a client had to mop the floor with stripper and water as someone poured an oil based thing on the floor.It was a tough job,but it was done,though it took the rest of the afternoon to get it done.After the work day was over,I stopped at a local supermarket for some ground coffee and I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I took out the garbage and did a little bit of work in the house.Later on,I did my personal PC work and had a light evening meal.I also did some more personal PC work.I later prepared for my evening retirement.A pretty stressful day overall.
Please continue praying for me as I am still struggling with the terrible SSA.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support,in the forms of spiritual upbuilding and encouraging words,within the comments section.Thanks in advance for your support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is another work day and I hope that it goes well.FJ
Monday, February 19, 2018
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.
Since I had the day off,I woke up late and had coffee and quickly did my personal PC work.After that,I got dressed and headed out.
I took a drive for a while.I got some gas,a bottle of water to drink and stopped at a small store in another area of the county and picked up a few things.After that,I dropped some recyclable papers in the church dumpster and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did some more personal PC work.I later heated up a few things in the oven and that was my evening meal.It was light as I wasn't very hungry.After that,I changed into pajamas and I did some more personal PC work.I also did some dishes that needed to get done.I also did a little bit more personal PC work and even watched some videos on YouTube.Later on,I prepared for my evening retirement.A very good day overall.
Please continue to pray for me as I am still struggling terribly with SSA.It has really been taking a toll on me emotionally and I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support,in the forms of spiritual upbuilding and encouraging words,in the comments section.Thanks to y'all.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is a work day after the holiday off.I hope that all goes well.FJ
Since I had the day off,I woke up late and had coffee and quickly did my personal PC work.After that,I got dressed and headed out.
I took a drive for a while.I got some gas,a bottle of water to drink and stopped at a small store in another area of the county and picked up a few things.After that,I dropped some recyclable papers in the church dumpster and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did some more personal PC work.I later heated up a few things in the oven and that was my evening meal.It was light as I wasn't very hungry.After that,I changed into pajamas and I did some more personal PC work.I also did some dishes that needed to get done.I also did a little bit more personal PC work and even watched some videos on YouTube.Later on,I prepared for my evening retirement.A very good day overall.
Please continue to pray for me as I am still struggling terribly with SSA.It has really been taking a toll on me emotionally and I need all the prayerful support that I can get.I also would appreciate some positive verbal support,in the forms of spiritual upbuilding and encouraging words,in the comments section.Thanks to y'all.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is a work day after the holiday off.I hope that all goes well.FJ
Sunday, February 18, 2018
Again, Possible Triggers
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.
Today,I woke up in the morning and had coffee.After that,I hurriedly got dressed up in a suit and headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service after that.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed from my suit into casual clothes and finished taking the last few boxes of my record albums to the storage facility.Of course I still have more to box and take down there,but I can do that another day.After that was finished,I had a light lunch and after that,I cleaned the bathroom and wiped down a few places here and there.I then went back out to drop off some free newspapers at a few houses and even turned in some bottles at a local supermarket.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and even watched a few videos online.I did go back out again for a little drive and went back home.
When I got back home,I changed into pajamas and I did some more personal PC work.I relaxed for a while until it was time for me to retire.A wonderful and eventful day overall.
Last night,I wrote in detail about my SSA struggles being difficult and the desires skyrocketing on me all due to the stresses of the last few weeks.I also want to share that my mental health struggles with Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia actually make my SSA struggles even more difficult.Yes,I do have both of these mental illnesses,which is a double whammy for me mentally,as I struggle not only with emotional roller coaster rides associated with Bipolar Disorder,but also with hallucinations associated with Schizophrenia.I hear things that nobody else hears,such as voices,footsteps and something calling my name causing me to turn around,only to see nothing or nobody there.This really gets to me negatively.I often wonder what's going on and even ask myself things such as:
What's wrong with me?
Is there really something wrong or is it just me?
What problem do I really have?
At times,these voices and hallucinations,I feel,are what's causing me to give into these terrible temptations that keep coming at me at both sides.My mental health and emotional issues contribute to the difficulty that I have with my struggles with SSA.I simply don't know whether I'm coming or going.I also feel trapped in the middle between where I'm stuck and where I really want to be.I want to get unstuck.I want to break free.I want to discover real and true healing,but don't know where to start.If anyone can help me,please leave me something in the comments section.I need advice.I need spiritual help and upbuilding and some encouraging words.I feel like a complete basket case.I know that I shouldn't feel that way,but I do.I also feel that I have no place or nobody else to turn to or to run run to.Again,if anyone reading can help,please do so.I also need to know that there are people out there who still support me and haven't given up on me,although I still feel that I am stuck somewhere in the middle not knowing which road to go or follow.
I remember when I first started this process,I was feeling good.This process made me discover that I don't have to live a sinful sexual lifestyle that others who are "Homosexual/Gay" are living and that I acting out was a choice and not an inevitability as many claim that it is.Now,I'm back where I was before and I am feeling terribly and extremely miserable.Depression has really sunk in and I feel sad and lonely.I need to get back to that joy that I felt when I first discovered this process and I need all the helpful support that I can get.
Please continue praying for me.I really need all the prayerful support that I can get.I am always in need of prayerful support.Please continue praying for me.I also need some verbal encouragement and spiritual upbuilding and encouragement.The more that I can get the better.I need to get unstuck and on the right path.Please pray for me and encourage me with your verbal support in the comments section.Thanks to y'all and Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is a holiday and I have the day off.I haven't made any plans,but I hope that whatever I do gives me positive benefits.FJ
Today,I woke up in the morning and had coffee.After that,I hurriedly got dressed up in a suit and headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service after that.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed from my suit into casual clothes and finished taking the last few boxes of my record albums to the storage facility.Of course I still have more to box and take down there,but I can do that another day.After that was finished,I had a light lunch and after that,I cleaned the bathroom and wiped down a few places here and there.I then went back out to drop off some free newspapers at a few houses and even turned in some bottles at a local supermarket.I headed straight home after that.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and even watched a few videos online.I did go back out again for a little drive and went back home.
When I got back home,I changed into pajamas and I did some more personal PC work.I relaxed for a while until it was time for me to retire.A wonderful and eventful day overall.
Last night,I wrote in detail about my SSA struggles being difficult and the desires skyrocketing on me all due to the stresses of the last few weeks.I also want to share that my mental health struggles with Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia actually make my SSA struggles even more difficult.Yes,I do have both of these mental illnesses,which is a double whammy for me mentally,as I struggle not only with emotional roller coaster rides associated with Bipolar Disorder,but also with hallucinations associated with Schizophrenia.I hear things that nobody else hears,such as voices,footsteps and something calling my name causing me to turn around,only to see nothing or nobody there.This really gets to me negatively.I often wonder what's going on and even ask myself things such as:
What's wrong with me?
Is there really something wrong or is it just me?
What problem do I really have?
At times,these voices and hallucinations,I feel,are what's causing me to give into these terrible temptations that keep coming at me at both sides.My mental health and emotional issues contribute to the difficulty that I have with my struggles with SSA.I simply don't know whether I'm coming or going.I also feel trapped in the middle between where I'm stuck and where I really want to be.I want to get unstuck.I want to break free.I want to discover real and true healing,but don't know where to start.If anyone can help me,please leave me something in the comments section.I need advice.I need spiritual help and upbuilding and some encouraging words.I feel like a complete basket case.I know that I shouldn't feel that way,but I do.I also feel that I have no place or nobody else to turn to or to run run to.Again,if anyone reading can help,please do so.I also need to know that there are people out there who still support me and haven't given up on me,although I still feel that I am stuck somewhere in the middle not knowing which road to go or follow.
I remember when I first started this process,I was feeling good.This process made me discover that I don't have to live a sinful sexual lifestyle that others who are "Homosexual/Gay" are living and that I acting out was a choice and not an inevitability as many claim that it is.Now,I'm back where I was before and I am feeling terribly and extremely miserable.Depression has really sunk in and I feel sad and lonely.I need to get back to that joy that I felt when I first discovered this process and I need all the helpful support that I can get.
Please continue praying for me.I really need all the prayerful support that I can get.I am always in need of prayerful support.Please continue praying for me.I also need some verbal encouragement and spiritual upbuilding and encouragement.The more that I can get the better.I need to get unstuck and on the right path.Please pray for me and encourage me with your verbal support in the comments section.Thanks to y'all and Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ.
Tomorrow is a holiday and I have the day off.I haven't made any plans,but I hope that whatever I do gives me positive benefits.FJ
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)