Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did my personal PC work.While doing this,I received a phone call from my father,who just wanted to check up on me.After that was done,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I had a few things to do today.I went to the local K-Mart to pick up a couple of things and after paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I popped a DVD into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I am feeling a tad better now.The weather has somewhat improved and I did manage to get out to do some things that I needed to do.Still,my down feelings were still the same,but this time,I managed to get out and just do what I had to do after being couped up in the house the last few days.It was great to finally get out after those last days of being stuck in the house due to the weather.Still,my emotional roller coaster ride stalled at down and I think that it will take a few days for me to get back into positive spirits again.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,the temptation to masturbate came at me during the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I sensed that I had to use the bathroom,so I got out of bed and I headed there and as I was heading for there,the erection started to soften and when I was finished,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to bed and back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted to act out on these unnatural desires that I have and I had to keep up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ whenever these terrible temptations came at me.I prayed to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations as they kept coming at me and I did feel better and much stronger after praying.Lately,these terrible unnatural sexual desires that I have have been really overwhelming me.At times,these desires can be so overwhelming that at times,I feel like giving up and surrendering to these unnatural sexual desires that I have,but I keep deciding to stand my ground as I am determined to continue in my journey to overcome SSA.Yesterday,in the early evening,I had to really pray hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ as these desires were really starting to overwhelm me.The sexual images of men were really clouding my mind and all the opinions of those so called "Pro-Gay" people were also trying to filter my mind alongside the unwholesome images of men.I prayed real hard to God in the name of his son Christ Jesus' name and I left nothing out.I bared all to God and told him that these unnatural sexual desires that I have and also,the sexual images of men and the opinions of those so called "Pro-Gay" people trying to merge with the images.I prayed so hard that I was at the point of tears and even had a little bit of anger.The anger wasn't toward God at all,but towards these feelings and these disgusting sexual and lustful images that weer trying to take over my mentality and try to get me to surrender to the unnatural desires that I have,accept that I am "Gay" and that "being 'Gay' is not a lifestyle choice",which,in reality,it is and that it's "who I am and what I am and there's nothing that can be done about it as it is something that a person who is 'Gay' is born with",which is also the most common lie that is told about it.It isn't easy making the right and also,most righteous decision.I am not saying that I am righteous,as God and his son Christ Jesus are the ones who determine who is truly righteous and who isn't.I prayed that I am simply starving for contact with other men and that I really need to have positive and healthy relationships with other men in order to heal from this terrible SSA condition.Again,I prayed so hard that I was in tears as I was praying and also felt anger at having these terrible desires that were really overwhelming me at that point.I also said to God that I hated it that I found men sexually attractive and that I hated having these unnatural sexual desires for men as this wasn't what God intended sexuality to be when he created the first human couple,man and woman,in the Garden of Eden,which shows what he truly approves of in regards to sexuality and that there are no substitutes.This is God's law regarding sexuality,as he created man and woman,and there is nothing else acceptable to God other than that.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts here.Please continue in prayer for me,and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments of any kind.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in the fight against SSA,strengthens my determination to continue in overcoming SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with this terrible SSA condition.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for all of your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for being there and also,for all that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,with the exception of church on Sunday,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward.I had a pretty fair day today as a result of the terrible weather we have been having in my area.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I simply relaxed and waited for my substitute case worker to come over.
After the session with my substitute case worker,I simply chose to stay home as it was yet another very rainy day and the winds were blowing.I also was feeling a little down as a result of the weather and I simply chose to relax and take it easy at home.I watched a couple of DVD's and that was it.There wasn't much for me to do as a result of the terrible weather that we were having.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty fair day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward and forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.Today,I was feeling down as a result of the weather that we have been having.It has been rainy and really windy for the past few days and it will be through tomorrow.My down feelings were the result of the weather and also,having really nothing to do as a result of the weather.I am hoping that the weather starts improving real soon.I am also still dealing the hallucinatory effects of the schizophrenic tendencies that I have and that is making my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another erection.I sat up for a while and I proceeded to get up and while I was doing that,the erection started softening and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to lust after men,fantasize alongside the lusting and also,to manipulate my genitalia alongside all of these things.I kept up in prayer to God all day in the name of his son Jesus Christ and also asked him for strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations and I felt much stronger as I knew that God heard me and that was good.I am again asking for prayers from all of you who continually follow my blog and also,please leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.I continually ask these things because my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments.Please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue overcoming SSA and to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the weekend ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to proceed withe the rest of my day as I had a few things planned.
I first headed over to my usual Thursday morning spirituality group.I always look forward to these Thursday groups with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm as they fast approach.
The group meeting was wonderful.After it was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after I was done eating,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local K-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for those,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few more things.After paying for them,I stopped to see how a friend of mine was doing and after spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished the rest of my personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever the struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.With God and his son Christ Jesus leading the way,it shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to indulge in masturbation when yet another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep.I tossed to my left side and the erection softened within a couple of minutes.When my genitals were fully soft,I went back to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting after images of men,and to indulge in fantasies of other men,and to also manipulate my genitals with these lustful and sexual images clouding my mind.I kept up in prayer all day to God and asked him in his son Christ Jesus' name for strength to fight and resist these terrible temptations as they kept coming at me.I kept up in praying and each time I finished,I felt much stronger and also felt better.It also proves to me that God and Christ are both there ready to help me whenever I need them and that is wonderful.I am also again asking for prayers by all of you who continue to follow my blog and read the posts and also,please don't be shy and leave me an encouraging word or two in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets quite a few visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments of an encouraging nature.I ask these things repeatedly because both your prayers and your encouraging words help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue to overcome SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from these unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of your for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.
Today,the weather was rainy and wet.I didn't have too much to do and I chose to simply stay home and take it easy for the rest of the day.I also felt that I needed a much needed break from everything and from all the stress of life.It has been pretty stressful for me as of late,with all of my medical problems and also,the verbal attacks that I have been receiving as a result of defending my Christian faith and trying to show people who claim to be Christian and also at the same time,claim to be supporters of the LGBT agenda,when in reality,nobody can be Christian and support the LGBT agenda at the same time.I have learned that not everybody will accept that hard truth,but in the long run,I am hoping that they will one day see the error of their ways and see that that can't represent Christianity and represent the agenda of the LGBT movement.I learned the hard way that we can only represent one side of the issue or the other.Nobody can represent both as that would be trying to serve two masters and Matthew 6:24 says,in it's own way,that nobody who is a Christian can do that.You can only represent either God's side or the world's side.When someone claims to represent both the side of God and the world's side and claim to be Christian,that is also trying mix light with darkness and also,partaking at the Lord's table and the demon's table at the same time and again,the Holy Bible in it's own way says that Christians can't do that as the scriptures of 1st Corinthians 10:21 and 2nd Corinthians 6:14 demonstrate.Again,only one side of the issue can be represented or the other,not both.I have chosen to represent only God's side and sever all ties that I have with anyone or anything connected with LGBT agenda as that is the only thing that I as a Christian can do and it is also the right thing to do.I hope that what I said here inspires many and leads many others to think about where they really stand and represent as Christians.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.It never gets any easier at all each and every day.My moods and/or emotions vary by the day,or at times,by the minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It also shows that I am never alone in this struggle and with God and Christ Jesus leading the way and helping to sustain me,I do feel a little bit better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours at two separate intervals when I was awakened by throbbing erections at both those intervals.I tossed and turned at both these intervals and on both,the erections softened and I went back to sleep after both of these.Though I escaped this double whammy,I was still tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting after men and to fantasize with those lustful sexual images.I was also tempted to manipulate my genitals for the purpose of getting them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping,though ejaculation has occurred on occasion and also at times,I do get tempted to masturbate the rest of the way.When these things happened,I kept up in prayer to God and I kept asking him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to keep giving me strength to fight and resist all of these terrible temptations.After the setbacks of last week and at the beginning of this week,I am trying to stay as clear away from any sexual desires that are connected with SSA and also,to try and stay strong in resisting all sorts of temptations to get me to indulge in lusting and fantasies with other men,but I also know that I can't do it alone as I need the help of both God and his son Jesus Christ in my fight to resist all sorts of sexual temptations.I still get tempted to go out and seek out other men for the purpose of indulging in sinful sexual activity with them,but I simply as well as willfully choose to stay home rather than feed that particular temptation.I am also again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog to keep up in prayer for me as I am going through this emotionally complex time and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please share an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section,which can be either something spiritually upbuilding/uplifting or simply some encouragement from anyone who is also in the process of healing from this terrible SSA.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and that also makes me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome SSA and also to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouraging words.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen after the meeting is over.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did my personal PC work and I managed to get it done despite an issue with the internet connection that lasted ten minutes,which made me re-start my computer to get the internet going well again.
I had only a few things on my agenda for today.I first had a very important appointment with a counselor from an association that I had an orientation with as the month of March was winding down.This time,it was to get me hooked up with a local job placement program in my hometown.
The meeting with the counselor went better than expected.The counselor told me that I should be hearing from the local job placement office real soon.After the meeting was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a few things.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a movie.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily battle and struggle against the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that they are there to help me and that I don't have to suffer alone.It does make me feel a tad better knowing that.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I,for the second consecutive time this week,gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals to lustful and sexual images of me that were clouding my mind.It led to ejaculation and I felt nothing but misery after falling.After washing my hands,I immediately asked God to forgive me for falling in the name of his son Jesus Christ and I begged for God's mercy as this was my second consecutive fall this week.After I was finished,I felt better as I truly believed that I was forgiven and that the slate was wiped clean.I really need to work on taking these weaknesses and put them in Gods hands.I can't keep falling every time that I turn around.Don't get me wrong,I know that God in his son Christ Jesus' name forgives unlimitedly,but I still need to work on this as I don't want to keep falling constantly.I need to ask God for strength whenever these temptations come around.I really need to go to God and take these temptations to him in prayer and also,I have to learn to be really tough with myself.I want to do what God wants me to do and I want to do the right thing in his eyes and what his sacred word,the Holy Bible,says to do.It is just that my sinful nature wants me to do the exact opposite,which I don't want to do at all,as that would displease God.I am again asking that all of you who continually follow my blog and read my posts to please continually keep praying for me as I am going through this difficult emotional time.I am also asking that all of you please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome this terrible SSA and also,to continue in my journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work and when that was finished,I proceeded to get on with the resat of my day.
I had only a few things on my agenda for today.I first went to the post office to buy a money order to pay for my car insurance and after I paid that,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things.After paying for those items,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and I watched a movie.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with BPD,it's symptoms and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.My moods and/or emotions are always on a constant up and down ride.At times,it can get pretty tiresome.If having BPD wasn't bad enough,I also have to put up with the schizophrenic tendencies that I have alongside BPD and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to let God and his son Jesus Christ lead the way and let them help in sustaining me whenever I take this particular struggle to them in prayer.It isn't easy struggling with BPD or even schizophrenia,but with God and Christ helping out,it makes it a tad bearable,though I still have to do my part by continuing my therapy and continuing to take my medication.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I am going to be very blunt,straightforward and honest here,though it pains me to write about this.I again gave into temptation this morning while I was online.I gave into the temptation to watch online porn and also,to lust after and fantasize with the men that I was seeing in the porn.It led me to manipulate my genitals and when I reached the point of orgasm,I masturbated to ejaculation.I really felt miserable after this particular fall and after cleaning my hands,I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for the fall and when praying to them,I left nothing out.I admitted to everything that I did and asked God in his son Christ Jesus' name to forgive me and also,I begged for God's mercy to be upon me as I did fall four times last week as a result of some negative things that happened,such as my medical concerns and having comments where I shared the truth with other on an online blog and they were removed for being "fanatical fundamentalist rhetoric" and my subsequent sadness and anger over their removal.I guess that I am really not over this.It really hurt me when I saw them removed and that they were taken the wrong way and were also taken entirely out of context.I was trying to be sincere and loving in a Christ like way,but everyone on the blog,who claimed to be Christian,while at the same time claiming to support the LGBT agenda,made them out to be the opposite of my intentions.How can anyone claim to be Christian and be supportive of the LGBT agenda at the same time?It doesn't make sense.I am trying to make people see,in the utmost sincere and Christian way,that you can't be a Christian and support an agenda that God,nor his sacred word,the Holy Bible,doesn't approve of.You can only represent one side of the issue or the other.Nobody who claims to be a Christian can't represent both sides.That is trying mix light with darkness or even so,having a share at the Lord's table and the demon's table at the same time.This can't be done.If you are a Christian,you should only choose to represent God's side and not the worldly side.Nobody can be Christian and support any agenda that God abhors.It's impossible.A true Christian,though it is up to God and his son Christ Jesus to determine who is truly a Christian and who isn't as they are the only real judges in this area,supports and represents only the godly agenda and not any worldly agenda.I know that this does sound harsh,but it is the truth and we have to learn to live by the truth and not by falsehoods nor any agenda that doesn't fit what God intended when he created us and also,made sure his sacred word,the Holy Bible,was well preserved for future generations.I am once again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts regularly.I am also asking again that all of you don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but they rarely leave any comments or encouraging words.Please do leave me an encouraging word or two.Why?Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to continue in my journey to overcome SSA and the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,I have to meet with a counselor from an association to help me get hooked up for a job placement program.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed up into a suit and I headed for church for the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.I also did a reading from the Holy Bible in front of the congregation at the podium and the responses were positive,which made me feel appreciated and loved.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes.I had a light lunch and after eating that,I did my personal PC work and after that was finished,I relaxed and watched a movie.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday makes the day eventful.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily dealing and struggles with BPD,it's symptoms and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be as I go from day to day,or at times,from minute/moment to minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am never alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I sat up for a while and I proceeded to get up out of bed and that made the erection soften and when my genitals were fully soft,I went back to bed and to sleep.Though I escaped this episode,I had to put up with even more temptation throughout the day as the temptation to act out on these unnatural desires that I have by means,such as fantasies,lusting and also,to manipulate my genitals to get them near/fully erect and/or to the point of orgasm and stopping.I was tempted to do all of that throughout the day.I kept up in prayer to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ as these temptations were coming on strong.I didn't want to fall again as I have fallen four times already this week as result of an emotional tailspin that I have been in as a result of some negative things happening.I am trying to get back into the whole process of healing from SSA and to keep away from anything or anyone that might try to get me to compromise what I have learned to be the cold hard God honest truth.It is never an easy thing to deal with and it is very difficult to resist temptations to act out in any way,shape or form.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads the posts on here.I am also again asking that all of you to please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to overcome SSA and to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ