Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed for my monthly Men's Network meeting,which I was looking forward to with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The meeting was wonderful.After it was all over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby gas station to get some gas.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I watched a movie that I popped into the DVD player.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily struggle with BPD and it's complications.The emotional roller coaster ride can really tire a person out and at times,it seems pretty unbearable and also seems way too overwhelming.It is never an easy thing to put up with and at times,I wish that I didn't have to put up with this,but I know that I have to and I simply handle and endure this the only way that I know how.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.Aside from the emotional roller coaster ride of BPD,I also have to put up with the hallucinatory effects of schizophrenia at the same time.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing too rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this struggle and that is wonderful.Thanks to both God and his son Christ Jesus for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation by lusting and fantasizing with other men.I also manipulated my genitals with these sexual images until the point of orgasm and I masturbated the rest of the way.I really felt miserable after this and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for this fall and I asked for God to show me his mercy as this was the fourth fall that I made this week.I have been very overwhelmed as of late by my medical concerns and also,by comments that I left on a particular blog site where I was sharing the truth about Homosexuality and what God's word had to say about it.The comments that I made were viciously attacked by other participators and the administrators of the website removed my comments and the reason given was that my comments were "Fundamentalist fanatic propaganda."This really angered me as we are supposed to be living in a country that is supposed to be a democracy and as a result of that,we have the right of freedom of speech,including the right to express ourselves and what we truly believe in wholeheartedly when it comes to being spiritual,which freedom of religion supports,and also,how we feel about certain controversial areas,such as Homosexuality and what the Holy Bible has to say about it.The removal of those comments,and subsequently being put on comment moderation as a result of the comments that I made that showed the truth,violated my constitutional rights and it gave the impression of communism rather than democracy.They also accused me of being unloving and hateful,which I wasn't.I was trying to express the truth in the utmost sincerity and Christian love to them,but they took my words the wrong way and attacked me left and right and they were subsequently removed.I am not expecting that everyone has to embrace the truth and accept it as it is.But these people are trying to justify the sinful practices associated with Homosexuality and tried to make them seem that God accepts it as legit and it isn't as sinful as it is made out to be.Those words are wrong because the Holy Bible says that the sexual activity between two members of the same gender is wrong,inappropriate and sinful.It also says that all forms of sexual immorality is sinful as well.But again,I am not expecting that everyone has to accept the truth,but please don't condemn people who share it and ask questions that are of a nature where you would like to learn more and listen to when somebody provides back-up for their reasoning,even if it is from the Holy Bible.This has really put my emotions in a tailspin and I need the help and support of everyone who follows and reads my blog to support and encourage me in this complex emotional time.I need your prayers desperately as I am going through all of this and also,I am also in desperate need of encouraging words in the comments section.Please keep up in prayer for me and also,please don't be shy in leaving an encouraging word or two for me.As stated,your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and also,to continue in my journey in overcoming SSA and to continue my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,with the exception of church in the morning,including the morning's Holy Bible study class,I have really no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Saturday, April 06, 2013
Friday, April 05, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.
After all of that was done,I headed to the same local kitchen for lunch and after that,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things and after that,I headed to a nearby supermarket across the street to pick up one more thing.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some munch needed money.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the bills at the Where's George site and after that was done,I headed back out again to pay a bill at another local supermarket.After picking up one more thing that was needed,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a movie.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still battling the symptoms of BPD and still enduring that continuous emotional roller coaster ride.It is never an easy thing to deal with nor struggle with.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this struggle and that makes me feel a tad better,though the ups and downs are still pretty difficult to handle and deal with.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,though I escaped temptation to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,I gave into a later temptation by manipulating my genitals and this time,I gave into the temptation to watch porn online.After I stopped myself,I really felt miserable for falling and sinning against God and I asked him in his son Jesus Christ's name to forgive me for sinning against him and I did feel better as a result of that as i truly believed that I was forgiven and that the slate was again wiped clean.Throughout the rest of the day,I kept busy and all that I did today took my mind off of anything sexual,including unwholesome sexual images of men.These images do like to cloud my mind and I never know when they might strike.I have to continually keep in mind that Satan and his minions are going to use everything in their evil power to get me to sin against God by indulging in sexual activity with other men,which is what I am trying to avoid as I know that this type of thing is condemned by God in his sacred word,the Holy Bible.I kept busy all day and nothing ever crept up into my mind as I stayed busy.Though this did happen and it was good,I am still asking that all of you who follow my blog to please continue offering prayers for me as I am going through this and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and make me even more determined to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of a possible Men's Network group tomorrow and church on Sunday,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.
After all of that was done,I headed to the same local kitchen for lunch and after that,I stopped at the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up a couple of things and after that,I headed to a nearby supermarket across the street to pick up one more thing.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at the bank to withdraw some munch needed money.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I registered all the bills at the Where's George site and after that was done,I headed back out again to pay a bill at another local supermarket.After picking up one more thing that was needed,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a movie.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still battling the symptoms of BPD and still enduring that continuous emotional roller coaster ride.It is never an easy thing to deal with nor struggle with.Aside from that,I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.I am not alone in this struggle and that makes me feel a tad better,though the ups and downs are still pretty difficult to handle and deal with.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,though I escaped temptation to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when another throbbing erection woke me up out of a deep sleep,I gave into a later temptation by manipulating my genitals and this time,I gave into the temptation to watch porn online.After I stopped myself,I really felt miserable for falling and sinning against God and I asked him in his son Jesus Christ's name to forgive me for sinning against him and I did feel better as a result of that as i truly believed that I was forgiven and that the slate was again wiped clean.Throughout the rest of the day,I kept busy and all that I did today took my mind off of anything sexual,including unwholesome sexual images of men.These images do like to cloud my mind and I never know when they might strike.I have to continually keep in mind that Satan and his minions are going to use everything in their evil power to get me to sin against God by indulging in sexual activity with other men,which is what I am trying to avoid as I know that this type of thing is condemned by God in his sacred word,the Holy Bible.I kept busy all day and nothing ever crept up into my mind as I stayed busy.Though this did happen and it was good,I am still asking that all of you who follow my blog to please continue offering prayers for me as I am going through this and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight against this terrible SSA and make me even more determined to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for the weekend,with the exception of a possible Men's Network group tomorrow and church on Sunday,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the weekend ahead.FJ
Thursday, April 04, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did 4/5 of my personal PC work.I then headed over to my Thursday morning spirituality group.
The group meeting was wonderful as usual.After the meeting was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby post office and I mailed out an important bill.After that,I went to the local Sears and paid another bill.After that,I did as little bit of shopping at a local supermarket.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished my personal PC work.I also relaxed and watched a movie.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Christ Jesus whenever this struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not nor ever alone in this fight and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I sat up in bed for a while and I proceeded to get up and that made the erection slowly die down.I didn't lay back down until my genitals were fully soft and when they were,I went back to sleep.Throughout this day,I kept busy with things,such as my group and doing all of my shopping as the day went along.It took my mind off of my struggles with SSA and that was pretty good.My mind was preoccupied with just getting through the day and not thinking much of anything else as I went on.I just kept my mind on what I had to do and that made the day goes by pretty quickly.Though today was pretty busy and I wasn't thinking much of anything else,tomorrow will be another day and that means that it might be different.I am also again asking for prayers by those who continue to follow my blog and read the posts.I am also again asking that those who do to please leave an encouraging comment or two.My blog gets quite a few visitors and curiosity seekers,but again,comments are rare.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me and please don't be shy when visiting.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight against SSA and make me even more determined to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unnatural sexual desires that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I did 4/5 of my personal PC work.I then headed over to my Thursday morning spirituality group.
The group meeting was wonderful as usual.After the meeting was over,I headed over to a local kitchen for lunch and after that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby post office and I mailed out an important bill.After that,I went to the local Sears and paid another bill.After that,I did as little bit of shopping at a local supermarket.After that was done,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and finished my personal PC work.I also relaxed and watched a movie.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still relying more on God and his son Christ Jesus whenever this struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not nor ever alone in this fight and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection.I sat up in bed for a while and I proceeded to get up and that made the erection slowly die down.I didn't lay back down until my genitals were fully soft and when they were,I went back to sleep.Throughout this day,I kept busy with things,such as my group and doing all of my shopping as the day went along.It took my mind off of my struggles with SSA and that was pretty good.My mind was preoccupied with just getting through the day and not thinking much of anything else as I went on.I just kept my mind on what I had to do and that made the day goes by pretty quickly.Though today was pretty busy and I wasn't thinking much of anything else,tomorrow will be another day and that means that it might be different.I am also again asking for prayers by those who continue to follow my blog and read the posts.I am also again asking that those who do to please leave an encouraging comment or two.My blog gets quite a few visitors and curiosity seekers,but again,comments are rare.Please leave an encouraging word or two for me and please don't be shy when visiting.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight against SSA and make me even more determined to continue in my healing journey to heal from the unnatural sexual desires that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for all of your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Wednesday, April 03, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good,but busy,day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed over to the local hospital for a PSA test.I was really nervous and anxious about this whole thing as I have been having problems with frequent trips to the bathroom during the day.
The whole thing went pretty fast.I thought that they were going to x-ray my groin area to see what was wrong,but they simply took some blood and had me provide a sample of my urine for evaluation.After it was all done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up a few things.After that was done,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up some groceries and was there for quite a while.After paying for the groceries,I stopped to see a friend of mine to see how he was doing.After a few minutes talking with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and after that was done.I had a quick lunch of a bowl of soup.After lunch,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and took it easy.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good,but busy,day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.This emotional roller coaster ride is never an easy thing to deal with as it gets tougher and tougher every day and also at times,every minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name if his son Christ Jesus and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation for the third consecutive time when I manipulated my genitals to lustful and fantasy like images of men and I wound up ejaculating as a result.I really felt down and miserable after this particular fall and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and after that,I felt better as I truly believed that God forgave me for my sins and that the slate is wiped clean once again.Throughout the day,I was kept preoccupied with everything at the hospital and afterwards when I left.I kept my mind on what I was doing while out in the community and that kept my mind off of everything having to do with my SSA struggles.While that may be so today,there is always tomorrow as it might be different than today.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to continue praying for me.I also ask that you don't be shy and please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please say a kind encouraging word or two for me as that woul dhelp me alongside your prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed over to the local hospital for a PSA test.I was really nervous and anxious about this whole thing as I have been having problems with frequent trips to the bathroom during the day.
The whole thing went pretty fast.I thought that they were going to x-ray my groin area to see what was wrong,but they simply took some blood and had me provide a sample of my urine for evaluation.After it was all done,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby gas station to get some gas and after that,I headed over to the local K-Mart to pick up a few things.After that was done,I headed over to the local Super Wal-Mart to pick up some groceries and was there for quite a while.After paying for the groceries,I stopped to see a friend of mine to see how he was doing.After a few minutes talking with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put all the groceries away and after that was done.I had a quick lunch of a bowl of soup.After lunch,I did my personal PC work and after that was done,I relaxed and took it easy.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good,but busy,day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.This emotional roller coaster ride is never an easy thing to deal with as it gets tougher and tougher every day and also at times,every minute/moment within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name if his son Christ Jesus and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I gave into temptation for the third consecutive time when I manipulated my genitals to lustful and fantasy like images of men and I wound up ejaculating as a result.I really felt down and miserable after this particular fall and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for my sins and after that,I felt better as I truly believed that God forgave me for my sins and that the slate is wiped clean once again.Throughout the day,I was kept preoccupied with everything at the hospital and afterwards when I left.I kept my mind on what I was doing while out in the community and that kept my mind off of everything having to do with my SSA struggles.While that may be so today,there is always tomorrow as it might be different than today.I am again asking that all of you who follow my blog and read the posts to continue praying for me.I also ask that you don't be shy and please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.It is just that my blog gets many visitors and curiosity seekers,but comments are rare.Please say a kind encouraging word or two for me as that woul dhelp me alongside your prayers.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have my usual Thursday morning spirituality group and lunch at a local kitchen afterwards.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Tuesday, April 02, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I first went to a local supermarket to turn in some bottles and cans that I had in my trunk and after that,I went to a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed to a nearby gas station to get some gas and after that was done,I headed over to a friend's place to see how they were doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be as this emotional roller coaster ride is pretty unpredictable.It can also get pretty tiresome and emotionally exhausting.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more of God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation for the second consecutive time when after getting up by manipulating my genitals with lustful and sexual images of men clouding my mind and yes,I did masturbate after I reached the point of orgasm.I really felt miserable as a result of this and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning and falling short.I felt much better knowing that I was forgiven and that God has forgotten my sins and the slate is now wiped clean.I am also sharing what led up to this fall.It is all the emotional stress that I have been having as of late.The negative disagreements of others in regards to what the truth of God's holy and sacred word,the Holy Bible,says about the sinful sexual activity between two members of the same gender and also,disagreements with those who claim to be Christian,but undermine that claim by saying that they support the agenda of the LGBT side,while still continuing to masquerade as Christians.This really gets me angry as well as sad.I mean,How can someone claim to be a Christian and throw their support for a worldly agenda,such as the LGBT agenda?The thing is this;the Holy Bible condemns the sinful practice of two members of the same gender indulging in sinful sexual activity with each other.This also means that since the Holy Bible condemns this practice and that it is God's holy and scared word,God also condemns the agenda of the LGBT as it is an agenda that God doesn't approve of nor condone.I have learned this the hard way since I have been in the healing process and it really saddens me as makes me angry when somebody claims to be a Christian and also at the same times,claims to support the LGBT agenda,which undermines that claim to be a Christian.I already know that you can't be Christian and support the LGBT agenda,but I wish that other so called Christians,or Christian posers as this is what they really are,would also recognize this.It is simply when someone sows a seed along the path and what happens is that Satan,the Devil takes that seed out of the ground before it even has a chance to grow.Aside from that,it is also the stress of the medical problems that I have been facing lately,such as my constantly making frequent trips throughout the day to the bathroom every hour or hour and a half.This has really been getting to me.Tomorrow morning,I have to go to the local hospital to get my groin area x-rayed to see what the problem could be,such as a problem with my prostate or typical overactive bladder.I am hoping that it is the latter and not the former as with the former,it could be rough going ahead as I endure all the stuff that surrounds this particular problem.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts as I could really use them right now.I am also asking for your encouraging words and/or comments in the comments section as I also need them right now as well.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular SSA struggle and also,helps keep me at peace as I am facing the medical problems that are a hard reality to me as this moment.Please keep praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I am planning and hoping to go to the local hospital to get my groin area checked out to see what could be causing my frequent trips to the bathroom during the day and I am hoping that it isn't very serious.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered quickly.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did my personal PC work.After that was done,I proceeded to get on with the rest of the day.
I first went to a local supermarket to turn in some bottles and cans that I had in my trunk and after that,I went to a nearby Dollar Tree store to pick up a few things.After paying for those things,I headed to a nearby gas station to get some gas and after that was done,I headed over to a friend's place to see how they were doing.After spending a few minutes with him,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and watched a little TV.
After eating,I watched the evening news for a while and I did some more personal PC work.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be as this emotional roller coaster ride is pretty unpredictable.It can also get pretty tiresome and emotionally exhausting.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more of God and his son Jesus Christ whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too unbearable for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I again gave into temptation for the second consecutive time when after getting up by manipulating my genitals with lustful and sexual images of men clouding my mind and yes,I did masturbate after I reached the point of orgasm.I really felt miserable as a result of this and I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me for sinning and falling short.I felt much better knowing that I was forgiven and that God has forgotten my sins and the slate is now wiped clean.I am also sharing what led up to this fall.It is all the emotional stress that I have been having as of late.The negative disagreements of others in regards to what the truth of God's holy and sacred word,the Holy Bible,says about the sinful sexual activity between two members of the same gender and also,disagreements with those who claim to be Christian,but undermine that claim by saying that they support the agenda of the LGBT side,while still continuing to masquerade as Christians.This really gets me angry as well as sad.I mean,How can someone claim to be a Christian and throw their support for a worldly agenda,such as the LGBT agenda?The thing is this;the Holy Bible condemns the sinful practice of two members of the same gender indulging in sinful sexual activity with each other.This also means that since the Holy Bible condemns this practice and that it is God's holy and scared word,God also condemns the agenda of the LGBT as it is an agenda that God doesn't approve of nor condone.I have learned this the hard way since I have been in the healing process and it really saddens me as makes me angry when somebody claims to be a Christian and also at the same times,claims to support the LGBT agenda,which undermines that claim to be a Christian.I already know that you can't be Christian and support the LGBT agenda,but I wish that other so called Christians,or Christian posers as this is what they really are,would also recognize this.It is simply when someone sows a seed along the path and what happens is that Satan,the Devil takes that seed out of the ground before it even has a chance to grow.Aside from that,it is also the stress of the medical problems that I have been facing lately,such as my constantly making frequent trips throughout the day to the bathroom every hour or hour and a half.This has really been getting to me.Tomorrow morning,I have to go to the local hospital to get my groin area x-rayed to see what the problem could be,such as a problem with my prostate or typical overactive bladder.I am hoping that it is the latter and not the former as with the former,it could be rough going ahead as I endure all the stuff that surrounds this particular problem.I am again asking for prayers by everyone who follows my blog and reads my posts as I could really use them right now.I am also asking for your encouraging words and/or comments in the comments section as I also need them right now as well.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this particular SSA struggle and also,helps keep me at peace as I am facing the medical problems that are a hard reality to me as this moment.Please keep praying for me and also,please don't be shy and leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I am planning and hoping to go to the local hospital to get my groin area checked out to see what could be causing my frequent trips to the bathroom during the day and I am hoping that it isn't very serious.As for the rest of the day,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Monday, April 01, 2013
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a pretty good,but busy,day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did 4/5 of my personal PC work.I had a a busy day planned and I was hoping to get through it as quick as possible.
I had a doctor's appointment today with my general doctor concerning my problem with my frequent trips to the bathroom during the day.I headed over there and was there on time.
Though being there on time,I was still kept waiting for over three hours.I was really getting antsy as they had me wait for much too long.While waiting,they had me provide a urine sample for them to check out immediately and I continued to wait.The doctor finally got to to me pretty close to closing time and advised me to get a check-up of my prostate gland to see if that's the problem.After it was finally all over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby store to pick up a couple cans of soup.After paying for that,I headed to another nearby store to pick up a small frozen orange juice.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I opened up one of the soup cans and heated it up in the microwave and that was my dinner.After eating,I simply finished my personal PC work and I relaxed and watched a DVD.Overall,a pretty good,but busy,day today.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with BPD,it's symptoms and the accompanying emotional roller coaster ride that goes with having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Christ Jesus whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I don't have to go through this alone and it does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I fell this morning by manipulating my genitals and yes,I wound up ejaculating and also,there was fantasizing and lusting involved with all of that as well.I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and I as usual,I truly believed that I was forgiven as I felt better after praying.As a result of my day being totally busy,I took my mind off of my struggles and I didn't have any problems with any sexual images throughout the rest of the day as I went on through it all.It was good that this didn't happen and all the rigamarole of the day kept my mind off of everything.Still,I am again asking for prayers by all of you who continue to follow my blog and read my posts.I am also again asking for your encouraging words in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I showered.After my shower,I had my usual quick breakfast and my usual 2 cups of coffee.After breakfast,I got dressed and did 4/5 of my personal PC work.I had a a busy day planned and I was hoping to get through it as quick as possible.
I had a doctor's appointment today with my general doctor concerning my problem with my frequent trips to the bathroom during the day.I headed over there and was there on time.
Though being there on time,I was still kept waiting for over three hours.I was really getting antsy as they had me wait for much too long.While waiting,they had me provide a urine sample for them to check out immediately and I continued to wait.The doctor finally got to to me pretty close to closing time and advised me to get a check-up of my prostate gland to see if that's the problem.After it was finally all over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a nearby store to pick up a couple cans of soup.After paying for that,I headed to another nearby store to pick up a small frozen orange juice.After paying for that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I opened up one of the soup cans and heated it up in the microwave and that was my dinner.After eating,I simply finished my personal PC work and I relaxed and watched a DVD.Overall,a pretty good,but busy,day today.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with BPD,it's symptoms and the accompanying emotional roller coaster ride that goes with having BPD.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that makes my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Christ Jesus whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I don't have to go through this alone and it does make me feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I fell this morning by manipulating my genitals and yes,I wound up ejaculating and also,there was fantasizing and lusting involved with all of that as well.I immediately asked God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to forgive me and I as usual,I truly believed that I was forgiven as I felt better after praying.As a result of my day being totally busy,I took my mind off of my struggles and I didn't have any problems with any sexual images throughout the rest of the day as I went on through it all.It was good that this didn't happen and all the rigamarole of the day kept my mind off of everything.Still,I am again asking for prayers by all of you who continue to follow my blog and read my posts.I am also again asking for your encouraging words in the comments section.Your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and make me even more determined to overcome SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
As for tomorrow,I have made no plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Happy Easter or Resurrection Sunday to all of you out there.
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After I was done showering,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for the Easter/Resurrection Sunday festivities today.The day first started with an Easter breakfast in the church's fellowship hall and after that,the 10:30am Easter/Resurrection Sunday Holy Communion worship service.I was looking forward to today with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The whole morning in church was wonderful.I had some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers during the breakfast and before and after the worship service.After it was all over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes.I then headed over to my nephew's house for dinner and I was also looking forward to that.
The dinner at my nephew's house was wonderful as well.After hanging out there for a while and talking with all my family that were there,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and I relaxed for the rest of the day.I popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched that while relaxing.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday morning always makes the day eventful for me.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me a feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,though it didn't last very long.I sat up for a while and proceeded to get out of bed to walk and the erection started to soften as I was doing this.After walking for a short time,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies with other men and to also manipulate my genitals with that temptation.I prayed hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges and I felt much better and stronger as a result of doing that.I knew that God and his son Christ Jesus heard me and they were there helping me all of that time.It is great that God and Christ are there to do just that and it is wonderful.I also must share an experience that I have been having when it comes to being free from Homosexuality/SSA and the lack of support in a world that is getting way too sympathetic for those that are living that sinful sexual lifestyle.I have been sharing comments about the healing process and how God in the name of his son Christ Jesus set me free from the Homosexual/SSA trap.I also heard from another who claimed to be Christian,but at the same time,said that they supported the LGBT agenda,which is an agenda that our Heavenly Father doesn't approve of.I tried to show him in my most sincerest and Christian way that this isn't possible.I showed him the scriptures in Matthew 6:24 and also,1st Corinthians 10:21 and also,2nd Corinthians 6:14.While he wasn't offended by what I had shared,another person accused me of not having any humility in what I shared,when in reality,there was more than enough humility in what I shared that what they posted as a response.I am learning that every day,the SSA struggle is never an easy one and there will be repeated persecutions when we share the truth about the healing process from SSA and the truth of God's word,the Holy Bible and what it has to say about this particular thing in it's own words.I was also accused of being a liar by another,but I answered in reply that if anyone were a liar,it wasn't me,but those who continue to believe and spared the lies about Homosexuality and anything else connected with Homosexuality.I even shared the scripture in John 8:44 about Satan,the devil being the first liar and the father of the lies that are being spread by the so called "Gay" community.I am learning this day after day and the persecution can cause the feelings that I have to be hurt tremendously,but I keep soldiering on in this process and seeking God and his kingdom first and his righteousness and not dwelling solely on the future as Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:33-34.I have to keep reminding myself that I am doing all of this to please God and his son Christ Jesus,who both set me free from the trap of Homosexuality/SSA and everyday,I thank them both for setting me from that terrible trap in my daily and evening prayers.I am grateful that they both set me free and every day,I feel like celebrating that freedom.While I have been praying to God and his son Christ to help me in my fight to resist all temptations that come at me,I am continuing to ask all of you to keep praying for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I only continually ask this because both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my general doctor concerning my problem with frequently going to the bathroom.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early morning and I showered quickly.After I was done showering,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for the Easter/Resurrection Sunday festivities today.The day first started with an Easter breakfast in the church's fellowship hall and after that,the 10:30am Easter/Resurrection Sunday Holy Communion worship service.I was looking forward to today with a lot of positive anticipation and enthusiasm.
The whole morning in church was wonderful.I had some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers during the breakfast and before and after the worship service.After it was all over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something that I needed.After paying for those things,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into my casual clothes.I then headed over to my nephew's house for dinner and I was also looking forward to that.
The dinner at my nephew's house was wonderful as well.After hanging out there for a while and talking with all my family that were there,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I did my personal PC work and I relaxed for the rest of the day.I popped a DVD into the DVD player and watched that while relaxing.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day as for me,going to church on Sunday morning always makes the day eventful for me.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward.I am still,on a daily basis,dealing and struggling with the symptoms of BPD and it's accompanying emotional roller coaster ride.I never know how my moods and/or emotions will be from one day to the next,or at times,from one minute/moment to the next within the same day.I also have schizophrenic tendencies and that my BPD struggles even more difficult.I am still attending my therapy sessions.I am also continuing to take my medication as directed.I am also still continuing to rely more on God and his son Jesus Christ more whenever this particular struggle seems to be getting way too overwhelming for me to handle.I simply talk about this particular struggle with God in the name of his son Jesus Christ and they both help in sustaining me.It shows that I am not alone in this particular struggle and that makes me a feel a tad better.Thanks to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Regarding my SSA struggles,I was again tempted to masturbate in the wee early morning hours when I was awakened by yet another throbbing erection,though it didn't last very long.I sat up for a while and proceeded to get out of bed to walk and the erection started to soften as I was doing this.After walking for a short time,my genitals were fully soft and I went back to sleep.Though I did escape this episode,I was tempted throughout the day to indulge in lusting and fantasies with other men and to also manipulate my genitals with that temptation.I prayed hard to God in the name of his son Jesus Christ to give me the strength to fight and resist these urges and I felt much better and stronger as a result of doing that.I knew that God and his son Christ Jesus heard me and they were there helping me all of that time.It is great that God and Christ are there to do just that and it is wonderful.I also must share an experience that I have been having when it comes to being free from Homosexuality/SSA and the lack of support in a world that is getting way too sympathetic for those that are living that sinful sexual lifestyle.I have been sharing comments about the healing process and how God in the name of his son Christ Jesus set me free from the Homosexual/SSA trap.I also heard from another who claimed to be Christian,but at the same time,said that they supported the LGBT agenda,which is an agenda that our Heavenly Father doesn't approve of.I tried to show him in my most sincerest and Christian way that this isn't possible.I showed him the scriptures in Matthew 6:24 and also,1st Corinthians 10:21 and also,2nd Corinthians 6:14.While he wasn't offended by what I had shared,another person accused me of not having any humility in what I shared,when in reality,there was more than enough humility in what I shared that what they posted as a response.I am learning that every day,the SSA struggle is never an easy one and there will be repeated persecutions when we share the truth about the healing process from SSA and the truth of God's word,the Holy Bible and what it has to say about this particular thing in it's own words.I was also accused of being a liar by another,but I answered in reply that if anyone were a liar,it wasn't me,but those who continue to believe and spared the lies about Homosexuality and anything else connected with Homosexuality.I even shared the scripture in John 8:44 about Satan,the devil being the first liar and the father of the lies that are being spread by the so called "Gay" community.I am learning this day after day and the persecution can cause the feelings that I have to be hurt tremendously,but I keep soldiering on in this process and seeking God and his kingdom first and his righteousness and not dwelling solely on the future as Jesus Christ said in Matthew 6:33-34.I have to keep reminding myself that I am doing all of this to please God and his son Christ Jesus,who both set me free from the trap of Homosexuality/SSA and everyday,I thank them both for setting me from that terrible trap in my daily and evening prayers.I am grateful that they both set me free and every day,I feel like celebrating that freedom.While I have been praying to God and his son Christ to help me in my fight to resist all temptations that come at me,I am continuing to ask all of you to keep praying for me and also,to please leave an encouraging word or two for me in the comments section.I only continually ask this because both your prayers and your encouraging words both help keep me going in this fight and struggle and make me even more determined to continue in overcoming SSA and also,to continue in my healing journey from the unwanted and unnatural sexual desires that I have that are connected with SSA.Thanks in advance to all of you for your prayers and for your encouragement.Thanks also to both God and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do.
Tomorrow,I have an appointment with my general doctor concerning my problem with frequently going to the bathroom.As for the rest of the day,I have no other plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ
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