This post may contain things that might trigger something negative in others, particularly men, who struggle with SSA.

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I procrastinated and didn't shower for much of the morning after getting up.I simply checked my e-mail and reduced my e-mail load in two other accounts that I have and after that,I had my usual quick breakfast.A half hour later,I finally showered and when I was finished,I got dressed and quickly did my personal PC work.After that was done,I decided to head out to get something to eat.After that,I decided to take a drive out to another area of the county that I live in and stopped at a Salvation Army thrift store and I bought a few things.After that,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped at a local supermarket to pick up something for dinner and after I paid for that,I headed over to a local Dollar Tree store to pick up something else to have with my dinner.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I started to prepare my light evening meal and when I was finished eating,I did some more personal PC work.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Yesterday and today,I gave into temptation by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men that were clouding my mind and it also gave into fantasizing and lusting after them.On both of these occurrences,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father and asked for forgiveness and for his mercy in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed hard and Left nothing out.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my fall and I pleaded for his mercy and forgiveness.When I was finished praying,I felt much better as I knew and truly believed that I was forgiven.Since I was out for much of the day,I had no more problems with sexual temptations and lusting.Before posting this particular entry for today,I immediately went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and I threw everything on him.I realized that I still had an obsession with male images and symbols,including an obsession with male nudity.I threw this obsession on my Heavenly Father and I asked him in the name of his son Jesus Christ to help me break free from this obsession.I also asked my Heavenly Father to help me break free from this obsession.I prayed real hard and I left nothing out.I threw everything on my Heavenly Father.I laid it on him and I honestly told him everything.I realized that this is why I am having the problem of manipulating my genitals to these images as I was still inadvertently enslaved to this particular obsession.I also threw on him something that threw me off a few days ago when I was having a conversation with some other man and he mentioned something about the drug store where I pick up my prescriptions.He mentioned that they sold condoms for "less than average sized men"(he did use vulgar slang for male genitals as a reference to them)and again,it threw me off.This actually contributed to my two consecutive falls over the last two days.I mentioned everything and I also admitted to my Heavenly Father that I wasn't fully relying on him lately and I also asked to be forgiven for that as well.I prayed for almost ten minutes and when I was finished,I felt like a giant weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.I felt much better and also,I felt relieved.I need to go to my Heavenly Father in prayer a lot more now whenever these things start coming around again.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.I need both your prayers and positive verbal support daily.I feel alone when I don't see anything encouraging in the comments section.Your support,both prayerful and positive verbal,helps keep me going.They also help reaffirm and reassure me that I am not alone in this particular fight and struggle.Please continue praying for me.I also ask that you please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of church as usual in the morning and hoping to go see a movie a little later on,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I went to the bank to withdraw some money and I went home to register the bills.After that,I got some gas and I paid back money that I was loaned to someone.After that,I bought a couple of things for dinner and I headed straight home.
When I got home,I quickly did my personal PC work and when that was finished,I had my light dinner and I headed for my Celebrate Recovery group.
The group meeting was wonderful as there was a lot of sharing tonight.After it was over,I headed for home.
On the way home,I stopped to buy a box of cereal for breakfast and I went to McDonald's for a dipped cone.After that,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I changed clothes and I did some more personal PC work.I also prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
In regards to my struggles,I will share tomorrow.
As for the weekend,with the exception of church as usual on Sunday,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I got dressed and had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I quickly did my personal PC work.I relaxed for much of the day as I had no place to go nor anything to do.I watched a little TV and I laid down to read for a while.
After getting back up,I did some more personal PC work.
For much of the day,I was waiting for the evening as there was going to be an Ascension service tonight at another church that wasn't too far away from the church that I worship in.I was anticipating meeting people who worshiped at this particular church and participating in the worship ceremony.
After having a light dinner,I got dressed up in dress clothes and I headed for the church for the service and I was looking forward to it.
The worship service was wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with the people,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my dress clothes and started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I gave into temptation in the mid afternoon by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind and the temptation to fantasize and lust after other men,which motivated the temptation for the genital manipulation.Fortunately,I managed to stop myself before it went to far and I asked my Heavenly Father to forgive me in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed hard and I left nothing out.When I was finished,I felt better as I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.I am not trying to justify this current fall into sin,but what motivated the fall was that I am very bored.I am bored with my current situation.I am trying real hard to find a job in my hometown and I am having a hard time.The boredom today really got the worst in me out.I am sick of being out of work and I want to work real badly.I have been leaving messages with one place and I haven't heard back from them.I have been feeling really intense boredom and it is really getting to me.I now really have to work on getting tough with myself.I have to stop this thing.I don't know why I keep manipulating my genitals and I also don't know why sexual images of men keep clouding my mind so much.I need to find out what the root cause of this is before I go crazy.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I really need some positive verbal support desperately.Please don't be shy when visiting and leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.These types of support help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.They also reaffirm and reassure me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast,After breakfast,I got dressed and I proceeded out so I could go and have lunch at a local kitchen again.After lunch,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I relaxed and did my personal PC work.I would also relax and watch some TV.
A little later on,I headed out to a couple of local stores to pick up some much needed things that I had to get for myself.After paying for them,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I put the stuff that I bought away and I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and I relaxed while watching a DVD.I then started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving onward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Though it is,I can share that I wasn't tempted to act out by fantasies and lusting today.No sexual images of men clouded my mind either.Though I was home most of the day,I had no problems with temptations nor did I have any urges to seek out other men for the purpose of acting out with them.For me,that was great.Though I did escape today unscathed,I have to keep in mind that there is always tomorrow and the days after that.No,I am not worried about tomorrow and the days after that.It is that I still have to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any moment.They can try to tempt me to act out on these unnatural sexual desires that I have.I don't want to sin against my Heavenly Father and disobey his perfect law in regards to sexuality.I have to continually keep in mind that my Heavenly Father never intended for sexuality to be used and abused the way that the world around us is using and abusing it.I also have to work on going to my Heavenly Father and ask for strength to help me fight and resist these overwhelming urges when they hit in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I have to ask for that strength the moment that the urges strike at me.I have to show these unnatural sexual desires that I have that I own them and not the other way around.Fellow blog followers,I am again asking that you continue to keep me in your prayers.I also ask that you leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both of these types of support real badly and desperately.I am going through a very difficult emotional time right now and I need all the support that I can get.Both of these types of support help keep me going.I am always in need of people to believe in me that I can overcome this struggle and heal from the effects that made me struggle with this terrible emotional condition.Your prayers and your positive verbal support do help in a lot of ways.My blog does get many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left by any one who does visit.It makes me feel all alone when nobody leaves me some encouraging words in the comments section.It also makes me feel sad.Both of these types of support also help reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't be shy and leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a special church service that I am hoping to attend at another church as members of my church are invited there to join in the worship,I have nothing else planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a pretty good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After my coffee,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I did 4/5 of my personal PC work and I got dressed to head out somewhere.
I went to a local kitchen to have lunch and when I was finished,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I finished my personal PC work and I relaxed while watching a little TV.
After eating,I did some more personal PC work and started to prepare for my evening retirement.Overall,a pretty good day.I also managed to get get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I had no temptations to act out on the unnatural desires that I have.I wasn't tempted to fantasize nor lust after any men.No sexual images of men clouded my mind and I managed to get through the day unscathed.I went out to lunch and I also went home after eating it.Though I managed to escape today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after tomorrow.It isn't that I am worried,but I have to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any time and throw lots of temptations at me.I have to be on guard and I also have to be mindful and watchful of these things.I can't let Satan and his minions get what they want nor want me to do.I can't let them get the satisfaction that they want.I still need all the prayerful and positive verbal support that I can get from my fellow blog followers and readers.Please continue praying for as I am still going through a very difficult emotional time.I need both of these types of support badly and desperately.I am always in need of support as I have very limited resources in my hometown in regards to SSA support and I do feel alone as a result of this.I need to be reaffirmed and reassured that I am not alone in this particular fight and struggle.Please continue to keep me in your prayers and please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.They both help keep me going.They also help keep both my determination and motivation strong.Please continue to pray for me and also,please don't forget to leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
Tomorrow,since it's supposed to rain all day,I have nothing else planned.I am simply thinking of staying home and catching up on some much needed work in the house that I have been putting off.I might relax for a bot after doing it.
That was my day today and my hopes and pans for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a very good day today.
Today,I woke up in the mid morning and I had my usual 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished showering,I had my usual quick breakfast.After breakfast,I got dressed and I headed for a local Memorial Day cookout and had myself a little lunch.After that,a friend and I went to a local Salvation Army thrift store and we bought some stuff.After that,we headed back to his place for a little socializing and when he said that he wanted to lay down,I left and headed straight home.
When I got home,I went and did most of my personal PC work and took frequent breaks during that time as I had so many e-mails today.One of those breaks was when I prepared my evening meal.
After eating,I finished my personal PC work and I relaxed for the rest of the evening,while also preparing for my evening retirement.Overall,a very good day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles with BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I gave into temptation upon arising out of bed by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind,which means that I fantasized and lusted after other men.I felt really miserable after falling into sin this morning and after washing my hands,I went to my Heavenly Father in prayer and asked him for forgiveness in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed hard and I left nothing out.I also accepted full and total responsibility for my falling short.After praying,I felt better and I truly knew and believed that I was forgiven.I managed to get through the rest of the day without falling into sin again.I still need prayerful and positive verbal support.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please don't forget to leave me positive verbal support in the comments section.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments of any kind are rarely left in the comments section.Please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section.Please continue to keep me in your prayers as well.I need both of these types of support really badly and desperately.I am really going through a very difficult emotional time right now and I need both prayers and positive verbal support.They both help in really big ways.They both help keep me going.They also help reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.They also help keep me strong in both my determination and motivation.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayers and your continued positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,which it's supposed to rain heavily.I haven't made any plans.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes for the day ahead.FJ

Tonight,my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward.I had a wonderful and eventful day today.
Today,I woke up in the early to mid morning and I had 2 cups of coffee.After that,I showered quickly and when I was finished,I had my usual quick breakfast.After that,I got dressed up in a suit and I headed for church for both the morning's Holy Bible study class and the worship service afterwards.
Both the class and the worship service were wonderful.After some wonderful fellowship with my fellow worshipers,I headed straight home.
When I got home,I got out of my suit and into casual clothes.I had myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and I did my personal PC work.After that was done,I started to prepare my evening meal.
After eating,I decided to some more personal PC work and after that,I popped a DVD into the DVD player and I watched it.Later on,I prepared for my evening retirement.Overall,a wonderful and eventful day.I also managed to get some recommended Holy Bible reading done as well.
While my rocky road to recovery continues moving forward,I am still in my daily struggles against BPD/Schizophrenia and SSA,which is the most difficult of the two for me.Today,I was tempted to act out by manipulating my genitals to sexual images of men clouding my mind as I was tempted to fantasize and lust after them.This time,I managed to go to my Heavenly Father and ask him for strength to help me fight and resist these terrible temptations in the name of his son Jesus Christ.I prayed and I prayed until the temptations had died down.When I was finished,I felt much stronger and I went through the rest of the day with no temptations,but I still stayed on guard and continued to be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any time.Though I escaped today unscathed,there is always tomorrow and the days after that.I have to continue to stay on guard and be watchful as Satan and his minions can strike at any time.They like to use these unnatural sexual desires that I have to make me disobey my Heavenly Father and his perfect law in regards to sexuality and anything connected with it.I have to show them that I worship the one and only true god and that is the sovereign Lord and creator of all things and that I believe in Jesus Christ as his son and Lord and savior of those who have accepted him as such.I don't want these unnatural sexual desires that I have to own me.I want to show them that I won them and not the other way around.I am still a work in progress.I also have to keep in mind that my Heavenly Father will never give up on me no matter what.I also have to work on avoiding falling into the trap to habitually sin and going to my Heavenly Father for forgiveness.I want to show my Heavenly Father that I am serious about wanting to heal and overcome SSA.Fellow blog followers and readers,please continue to keep me in your prayers and also,please leave me some positive verbal encouragement in the comments section.I need both prayerful and positive verbal support every day and desperately.My blog gets many visitors and/or curiosity seekers,but comments are rarely left.Please leave me some positive verbal support in the comments section when you visit.Both of these supports help keep me going.They also help keep me strong in both my determination and motivation.They also reassure and reaffirm me that I am not alone in this particular struggle.Thanks in advance to all of you for your continued prayerful and positive verbal support.Thanks also to both my Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ for everything that they do and provide.
As for tomorrow,with the exception of a Memorial Day outing that I have been invited to,I have nothing planned.But I hope that whatever I choose to do gives me positive benefits.
That was my day today and my hopes and plans for the day ahead.FJ